That said, everything here is safe for work (as always) and will most likely sail cleanly over the heads of the very young. Still, parents should note that CW has always been, and always will be, a PG-rated site.
Now, on to the unintentionally unseemly icing shapes!
Last week we established pretty much every possible way turkey cakes can be wrecked...except one.
You see, turkey cakes have two inherent flaws. First, they're made out of chocolate icing...
which looks like poo.This you know.
However, the other problem - which I have avoided mentioning until now - is that they also tend to have long skinny bodies and blobular heads, which can look, well...
a little stiff.
The turkey poo-wang.(Nice "legs.")
Here's another:
This guy looks pretty shocked. Think that's because his beak fell off, or because he's so surprisingly out of proportion?**ACTUAL DIALOGUE WHILE WRITING THIS POST:
Me: I'm not sure about "surprisingly out of proportion."
John: Why, what's wrong with it?
Me: Well, it's quite a mouthful.
John: [screeching laughter]
Me: [innocently] What?
Me: I'm not sure about "surprisingly out of proportion."
John: Why, what's wrong with it?
Me: Well, it's quite a mouthful.
John: [screeching laughter]
Me: [innocently] What?
Turkey: the other dark meat.Katey S., Owen H., Paula W., Laura I., & Lola P., these Wrecks give new meaning to "giving you the bird," don't they?
- Related Wreckage: Butterfly Misses
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114 comments | Post a Comment
okay, that post brought tears of laughter to my face. surprisingly out of proportion indeed. Thanks!
I think the turkey poo-wang cake is adorable! It's so goofy that it has achieved cuteness.
That's too funny!!
i would be so embarassed to serve any poo wang turkey cakes at any type of get-together. Especially ones that are out of proportion. Although, the upside....it would definately be the talk of the party.
wv: nuges. these cakes are all nuges. they need pants.
that last poo wang could trim his foliage a bit.
WV: Nother. I didn't think there was a nother way to mess up these cakes, but I was wrong.
uhh...yep. those are definitely wangs.
love these cakes! i wonder in the turkey world if size does matter? some of that plumage is mighty big.
Phallic poo - I love it!
OMG, "poo wang"! Too funny!
Todd said... "Turkey Poo-Wang" would be an AWESOME name for a band.
I saw a pretty phallic rendition of the turkey cake on Fail Blog and assumed it was one of your beauties. Do cake decorators honestly not make the connection between the turkey head/neck combo and the "stiffie"?Your words, Jen... your words.
I am convinced that these wrecks are caused by the designers for a catalogue purposely making phallic designs just to see if the grocery store bakery staff that end up making the thanksgiving cakes will actually do it without a second thought.
Yep, gave giving her the bidr a whole new connotation ;)
More evidence supporting my claim that we need a program to teach people what an actual turkey looks like.
... Maybe we also need to teach cake decorators what genitalia look like, so they'll know what not to do on a cake.
My grandmother has yet to stop laughing. We spent Thanksgiving laying a family member to rest, this is EXACTLY what we needed! Thanks so much Jen. Nothing like confectionary dildos to ease your greiving. :P
OMG! I'm still laughing! That last little guy might have some... envy... with the poo wang above him! That must be why his feathers are so big! He has little man syndrome!
Oh, that's rich... it's a poo-wang clan!
Snickering into my coffee...
Well, it should be obvious to everyone: Store bakeries do their share of equal opportunity hiring and hire blind cake decorators. That way they can't actually SEE what it is that they're putting on those cakes. That's the only explanation other than Meddygon's of the bakers just pushing the envelope a tad.
No offense, but how ignorant ARE these bakers, anyway?
Isn't there some point when you take a look and realize either:
A) Fix it.
B) Scrap it.
Or C) Take it home and NOT sell it to customers.
Seriously, how do these places stay in business?
Poo-wang! LOL and "giving the bird," indeed! These cakes are rather inappropriate for family gatherings, n'est-ce pas? #2 (*smirk*) is really crying those tears of blood today. ick!
Poo-wang looks a little relaxed. On a bed of lovely rose petals. How, er, romantic?
#4 looks like what my toddler produced when she was having witholding issues during potty training. After 8 days of self-induced constipation, she produced a whopper that stood straight up on end above the edge of her little potty insert. She called it the "rocketship poopy." If it had eyes and half a beak, it would look like #4!
that poo-wang looks a little like an amputee...
Oh my God, the term 'turkey poo wang' is the funniest thing I've haerd since 'coiled crap hound!'
Although the hilarity of today's cake are not even in question.. I can't believe you didn't see the worm eating...uhhh.... member in one of the "top ten"... I won't tell you which one, mostly because I want to make sure that it's not just my mind in the gutter! keep 'em comin' !
~maureen~
I must say I never will look at the Holidays the same way ever again.
How could one day bring so much laughter and joy into the world.
Wreck On!
oh Jen - so wrong, but yet soooo right! lol
snickering and snorting and peeing my pants.
simultaneously (i'm a multi-tasker).
gawd, this is a funny post.
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Toooooo funny!
My 4-year-old was looking over my shoulder and asked "Ewww, why are you looking a poopy turkeys?" LOL I guess that says it all!
I've never met John yet can totally imagine that moment of laughter. :)
wv: amaters...Unpaid hobbyists, as in, most amaters I know can still decorate better than wang-poo!
I can't say I ever expected to read the words "turkey", "poo" and "wang" in the same sentence, never mind lumped together as a title!
I should've remembered the coiled crap hound....
that was quite a mouthful *ahem*
the first one looks like poo on a bed of hot dogs. which makes it worse somehow.
I also think the first turkey looks like a flasher holding open his multi-colored rain coat.
You guys are hilarious!
LOL.... oh boy did I ever need this laugh this morning, thanks!!!!
Especially the part where you started laughing innocently because you didn't get why John was laughing. That's a good one. You're so cute, Jen.
Thanks for all these turkey wrecks this week, they were great!
I love that the bakery was so proud of turkey poo-wang #1 that they put it on a little stand for better viewing. I too think the little guy looks like a flasher in a raincoat --
awesome commentary Jen!
What ever happened to a nice decent pumpkin pie??? lol
Eeeeewww. Cakes are supposed to be appetizing, not nausea-inducing!
I laughed til i nearly wet myself!
smile smile smile
My throat hurts from laughing so hard. Thanks for that!
Oh. My. God. *dies*
Thank you for the "hide the children" warning. I appreciate it. :)
WV: intankini: these turkeys could benefit if there were intankinis. :)
Mr Happy Turkey is Really Happy! Standing right up there at attention, he is.
Don't worry about kids. They're not 'offendable' when it comes to poo or penises. Especially boys. In fact, they're the worst offenders. I live in a house of men. I know.
I wonder how many wrecktastic designers are seriously repressed? These poo-wangs seem to be a recurring theme!
Oh my goodness..lol! Never read this blog while in a public library! Tears in my eyes and my face is all red. Really made my day.
turkey poop wang! Ha ha ha ha HA!
Can't
Stop
Laughing.
You rock.
I actually laughed outloud at the conversation you & John had, too funny. I love this website!
WV: gergi
An orgie with a gobble, gobble twist, you know as in those cake were about to take part in a gergi.
the "turkey poo wang" - wonderful!
Oh YUCK! I can't believe that bakers don't realize these cakes look so unappetizing. I sometimes wonder if some of these are done by disgruntled decorators. How can they NOT see what we're seeing?!
Here's what I don't understand. Thanksgiving cakes have given you practically a month's worth of material. However, who eats cake at Thanksgiving? It's all about the pie! Are there that many families that eat Thanksgiving cake that these cakes are so prevalent?
wv: imisti - These cakes had me laughing so hard, imisti in the eyes!
When I saw the second turkey cake I instantly thought of a turkey wearing one of those old curly wigs, but in yellow, red and orange instead of white. LOL :P
*snort*
Best post ever! XD
Hahahahahahahahhahaha...turkey poo-wang..Hahahahhahahahaa. *wipes tears from eyes
This post made me even gayer.
SOOOOOOOOO funny! The "turkey poo wang" is priceless, but I'll always have the "coiled crap hound" as number one in my giggle inducers!
That's what she said!!!
Actually cake 3 was not a bad looking cake - until ...
I agree with the - about 11:30 am - Anonymous post.
My three year old was looking over my shoulder and liked the last turkey cake. She said "Oh,that's so funny!" and I said "And it looks like a poop, doesn't it?" and she said, in the most delighted voice "Yeah!"
I've never laughed so hard!
turkey poo wang. OMG. BAHAHAHAHAHA!
LOL re: turkey poo-wang.
"Melissa said:
Oh my God, the term 'turkey poo wang' is the funniest thing I've heard since 'coiled crap hound!'"
You said it, sister! All these cakes need are some poo tornadoes to complete that festive Thanksgiving theme.
It's PIE season, people - if you would stop ordering cakes for Thanksgiving, all this (literal & figurative) crap could be avoided.
"Turkey poo wang" *snort*!!!!
This post has made my day. LOVE the dialogue finale!
"Giving you the bird!"
You're SO funny!
I can't believe these are allowed to be sold in public grocery stores...or are we just deviants for seeing them this way?
I don't understand the dialogue between you and John.
the funny thing is my husband would think nothing is wrong with these turkeys lol
way to funny!
I have not read your blog in a long time. It is great to be back!
@Erin
LOL! You never KNOW what they will say next!
oh this made my day! HEElairous!
Have you seen the Cake Wrecks (Flip camera) commercial? A guy is using a camera to film a professional cake and says, "This is what it's supposed to look like..." then pans over to a Wrecked version of the cake and the annoyed looking woman who made it.
http://www.doyouflip.com/watch/Cake%20Disaster
No wonder these turkeys look happy this time around!
hahahahaha
THANK YOU. so much.
All the turkey cakes from the past few posts have been hilarious and greatly improved Thanksgiving at my house. :-D
But today's are best of all! Lily
My mother is visiting from Ohio for the holiday, and I gave her your book (gotten when you all were in Framingham, Mass.) to read. She was laughing so hard she couldn't speak, and she's planning to get a copy of the book for her sister. :-) Then I showed her the blog, complete with phallic turkeys, which set off more gales of laughter!
eww... where has that wang been?
I think I gave myself a hernia laughing at the Turkey cakes! I will never look at a Turkey in the same way ever again. I found this site three days ago and have not stopped until I have looked at every sigle wreck! I can't tell If I am having chest pain from a heart attack or if it is from my aching chest from laughing! Thanks a million!
I'm so jealous!
here in the UK we don't celebrate turkey poo-wang day &so can't buy such wonderful cakes
I thought Mr Hanky only came out at xmas time?
This was your funniest post ever!
Actually, most domestic turkeys are white, which is what we all eat at T'giving. But wild turkeys (we have a flock living about 1/2 mile away) and they have a blue-red head. And I believe that's what people are trying to copy for T'giving, the traditional Pilgrim-wild turkey- look. Except they're not right. And they don't have red, orange and yellow feathers either.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://coquinadaily.com/daily/imagesdaily/071122/503pxmalenorthamericanturkeysupersaturated.jpg&imgrefurl=http://coquinadaily.blogspot.com/2007/11/thursday-november-22-2007.html&usg=__hFmIrq1msgZbXgiG8WPROB8JM3M=&h=480&w=403&sz=38&hl=en&start=4&tbnid=J_br3owPxEmFbM:&tbnh=129&tbnw=108&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddomestic%2Bturkey%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3Den
This one reminds me of an afghan my Grandma had at her house!
Thanks for the hysterical laughter today! Not sure what made me laugh harder, your post with witty banter or Melissa's comment.
awesome poo wang clan
Four words for you now: What. Would. Freud. Say.
My son asked me why there were turkeys that looked like willeys. *sigh*
Husband cracked up.
I, I just thanked my stars that I make normal cakes. :)
Ha ha ha - that one lost his pecker! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Given the avian nature of this episode, would it be too fowl to call those last items poococks, as opposed to poo-wangs?
HYSTERICAL!!!! You never cease to make me LOL Jen!
That's why they call it the "struttin' turkey cock"
Best. Entry. Ever.
Owww, I think I pulled something from laughing so hard!
"The other dark meat."
Jen, you bring balance to the (bakery) force! I wish you could see a video montage of all of us snorting and crying with laughter all around the world.
Love,
Melanie in NJ
Well done, Jen! This post will certainly be tough to beat. *smirk*
Also, that last one looks like a yeti attacking a can-can dancer...blech.
I laughed so loud and hard that my mostly deaf grandma heard me from three rooms over and asked my husband if I was choking. One of the funniest wreck sets yet!
"the other dark meat" sent me over the edge!!! hilarious! (though I'm surprised Mr. Turkey isn't bigger....)
Krista
Awwww yeah...giggity.
Well, being galliforms, turkeys are related to chickens, which are also named... guess what?
Awwww I'm disappointed that my poo-wang turkey cake didn't make the cut :(
He would've fitted right in with these guys!
(I'm also a little shocked that there are so many poo-wang turkey cakes out there. Wow.)
Poo...wang... *dies laughing*
It's amazing how many of those turned out looking like poo.
Am I the only one who thinks "turkey poo(pu) wang" sounds like a menu item at a Chinese restaurant?
WV: prous--"I'm so prous of you!"
Best cake wrecks ever!! The poo wang tops them all!
thank you, I never do comment but I like to visit this site once in a while. This particular post has my laughing with a tear running down my face... turkey poo-wang. who'da thunk it
Turkey Poo Wang is my saying of the day! Rofl!
I love you Jen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This and Homestarrunner.com are my two favorite sites! Great stuff!
Funny, funny,funny!
Your posts always crack me up. This one however brought tears to the eyes, and I nearly wet my pants. So funny.
my four year old daughter saw the last turkey cake and said, "That's a funny cake. It's flag one...made out of sand. Is it made out of sand mommy?" Huh? =)
Now I know exactly what CCCs are decent at!
Multicolored explosions. They'd make rather good flaming clouds of doom. *nodnod*
D'aw, fark. My backspace button got lodged and I lost my entire post! It looked a lot better too. ^_^;;
...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
My throat hurts from laughing. I cant get enough, its so funny. xx