Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Real Turkey

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What they ordered...




What they got...




Boy, Juli N., it's a good thing they put that electrical wire in there to hold the legs on.

- Related wreckage: Well, I'm Stumped
Melodie said...

The "grass" is pretty terrifying!

Anonymous said...

Cake. With gravy? No thank you!

Becky

wv: Foold. You can't foold me into eating that!

Anonymous said...

Homer Simpson: It's just a little wrecked, it's still good, it's still good!

Joe the papercutter said...

Fall off the bone, er... wire, goodness!

Susan T-O said...

I think both what they ordered & what they got look rather hideous.

Amanda Mac said...

This is unusual - I wouldn't want the inspiration cake, either! YUCK! What is this, an twisted, off-season April Fool's joke?

CorningNY said...

Why??!!! I'd rather have an actual turkey and a cake that looks like...a cake.

DebraSue said...

EEEEWWWWW!!!!!

Pre-gnawed turkey cake legs with slimy gravy frosting.

Whiskey
Tango
Foxtrot

Morgan said...

OH MY.....

Marianne said...

eeeewwwww!!!

Kristin said...

Ugh. Why would anyone order that cake in the first place? It looks fowl.

BWAHAHAHA!

Miranda said...

Augh!!! Looks like someone boiled that turkey!

Tabitha Corsica said...

That's disgusting. Frankly, I don't even like the orignal one. Who would order a turkey cake anyway??

Amanda M. said...

I don't know why you would want the original one - I don't like how shiny it looks and how the wings are just weird lines... the one they got is definitely a wreck though!

jmberrygirl said...

Um. Gross. Even the top picture is just... strange.

Terry Lee said...

{shaking head}

i'm not sure why anyone would even want a turkey-shaped cake.

i want my turkey to taste like, well, turkey.

then just give me a punkin' pie!

erin said...

...I don't know if I would have ordered that cake in the first place...it looks disgusting.

Kate R said...

Nooooo!!! Oh, I actually gasped. Is it really and truly a real turkey? Sweet Jebus, WHY???

breanna said...

That is just gross!

Susan said...

Call me crazy, but I don't get why you would want to order the cake in the first place.

Dorci said...

Looks like it's been gnawed on already. Either that or there was a brawl among the turkeys.

serrahok said...

Ick. Why would anyone order that in the first place? Ew! What is that shiny gravy-looking stuff?

WV: genuw: Genuw this was going to be a disaster from the start!

Kristi Hirschi said...

That makes me want to vomit...

Kelly said...

That's just gross.

the other lion said...

Gotta say, even if it looked like it was intended to -- YUCK YUCK YUCK. It's SHINY.

Turkey should look and taste like turkey, kthxbye.

Morgan the Muse said...

I don't know that I would want the real thing, let alone the wreck. xP

Sjak said...

Wow, the original cake, to me, already looks less than appealing (you expect a lovely, juicy piece of turkey breast, you get cake and buttercream instead, your tastebuds won't know what hit them) but leave it to a wrecktastic baker to make it even worse. Yuck...

Liberty Bell said...

Uh why is that picture of what they ordered so shiny?

JellyDonut said...

Eureka! I've been wracking my brain about how to get somebody else to host one of our annual holiday family dinners. All I have to do is serve this bad boy. Where do I sign up?

Anonymous said...

They got what they deserved if they ordered that cake. Both cakes are wrecks!

Jeannie said...

Is this an ice-cream cake? It looks like the Baskin-Robbins cake I saw in the local store here. I wonder if the directions included adding wire-yikes.

Jeannie

Etiquette Bitch said...

Well, I gotta say, what they got definitely looks like one of the rotisserie chickens you can pick up at the local grocery store for $7.

Heidi D said...

I'm sure someones said this already, but the original picture doesn't look much better. :P

Anonymous said...

It looks like an ice cream cake to me.....that shiny gravy is most likely caramel sauce (the same stuff you have on your sundae). What I don't understand is why they didn't use a mold and instead hit the cake decoration supply section at the Home Depot....

Linda said...

Gross. just what we wanted for dessert... cake with brown colored gel all over it. The first one is awful looking enough!!

pieman said...

the photo/original made me ill

pecan pie rocks..

Sabrina said...

yuck. I don't think I would have even picked that monstrosity up!

Anonymous said...

http://www.baskinrobbins.com/Cakes/occasions.aspx

Turkey Cake (H-59)

Wow them with this centerpiece of your dessert table. Choose your favorite ice cream flavor, glazed in chocolate and caramel. Be sure to enjoy the sugar cone turkey legs!

Crystal Pratt said...

I'm not even sure I approve of the "what they wanted" cake. They're both pretty gross.

Diana said...

Eew. How could a cake make me want to be a vegetarian.

Side note: even in the original cake...no turkey should EVER be that shiny.

Anonymous said...

on what planet is that thing in the background apple pie ala mode?

Niecey said...

Well, there went my appetite.

Marley said...

It is a baskin robbins cake! Who wants frozen turkey! You can find it no their website.

sevenmarie said...

BASKIN ROBBINS!!!

I used to work there, decorating cakes. the turkey cakes are REALLY hard to make! you have to use a "melon" mold, fill it with ice cream then hand cut frozen cake to fit the bottom. you then have to take 2 scoops of ice cream and sugar cones for the legs.
we ordinary just frosted it in chocolate or coffee flavored ice cream or white ice cream dyed tan but apparently the one in the advertisement is frosted in caramel (you have NO IDEA how hard that would be! caramel melts the ice cream and then slides off and/or lumps up).

the turkey cakes actually sell pretty well. i mean its frigging ice cream! especially if they are a "thanksgiving-ey" flavor like pumpkin pie ice cream.

but yeah the actual cake is very wrecky, no wire people!!

Carol said...

It's not electrical wire; it's an artery.

Debbie Yost said...

Either way, who would want to eat that? Ewww.

Anonymous said...

the apple pie a la mode thing in the background looks fabulous.

wv: amatu

'what's amatu, you order a cake like that?'

krazykris said...

I have to say that this is quite possibly the most disgusting looking cake you have ever posted. It looks moist and meaty, which is not what a cake should look like. It took alot of deep breaths before I could look at is a second time without tasting my breakfast again. Blech, oooooohhhhhhh yucky, nasty, gross and DISGUSTING!!!! Give me bleeding armadillo cake anyday compared to that wreckage.

The Black Dog said...

I am very afraid to know what flavor that cake is.

If it's turkey flavored, it will go great with some Jones mashed potato flavored soda.

Marley said...

Who would want slimy frozen turkey! YUCK!

M'Lynn said...

The "what they wanted" picture was frightening enough. Ew.

That Mama said...

The original is ugly!! The wreck is hideous. I can't imagine why anyone would want a turkey cake.

WV...mince. How appropriate!

Caroline B said...

...and your next task, to fashion your actual turkey into a cake for the ultimate gross-out dinner party.

Gak.

Gary said...

The ineptitude on display with the second cake is fairly staggering, but I'm tempted to say that anyone who would think the "Turkey Cake" in the first picture looks good, deserves the second cake.

Anonymous said...

I guess you could serve this with Jones Soda's flavors for Thanksgiving, featuring "Green Bean Casserole" and "Mashed Potato and Butter." With a bowl of Pepto for dessert, please.

http://www.jonessoda.com/files/turkey04.html

Jani said...

So let me get this straight: is the first on the Turkey as it was presented on the table to begin with and the second one the Turkey after it was discovered to be rabid? I don't understand...

DinaHaansley said...

You know the funny thing is the fact the wrecked cake actually looks more like a real turkey than the well-polished one they were suppose to get, an undercooked, vehemently gross turkey, but a turkey nonetheless. lol

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thought the original 'what they wanted' cake actually looks kinda awesome? Kinda like a caramel apple, but with ice-cream...

Lacy said...

Even the original looks disgusting. Why would anyone want a cake disguised as a turkey??

SaRa said...

I'm happy that we've already celebrated Thanksgiving in Canada. Seeing that at the table would have ruined my appetite for the whole weekend.

Jane said...

Eww, I agree with the others. Both are wrecks. Yuck.

IslandPearl said...

I'm with the rest of you. I think the whole concept was a wreck. Even perfectly executed that turkey is a...well, turkey.

Blechhh!

Lauren said...

Eww! I can't imagine an occasion where a turkey cake is ever appropriate.

On further consideration, this makes me think back to the baby cakes. Time for analogies!

One looks at a turkey cake and assumes it tastes like: Turkey.

One looks at a baby cake and assumes it tastes like: ???

Bek said...

barf! Even the original photo is pretty gross looking...

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

YUM!!!!!! This looks like when we had our vegan friends over for Thanksgiving one year and they brought a Tofurky shaped into a turkey mold. They could not understand why I politely declined (over and over) in favor of the real thing.

Lucia Winter said...

thta "cake" looks like a real turkey. and an ugly one!

Jasry said...

So... shiny.... Hurts... eyes....

CherieBerrie said...

LOL as a vegetarian I don't know if I would feel at ease eating that cake....that looks realer than any Tofurky I've ever seen

NYCGirl said...

I see I'm not the only one to think even the first one doesn't exactly look appetizing!

Word verification:unictim
"Look at the turkey's legs! Unictim!"

Marissa said...

b.a.r.f.

Jaclyn said...

I think I just became a vegetarian.

Debby said...

even the original looks disgusting! that could be a wreck in itself!

Promise said...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I [b]always[/b] have a little femoral artery with my turkey flavored ice cream.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

You know, I was at Baskin Robbins the other night and I saw the 'turkey' cake and thought "You know, that could be SOOOOO incredibly wrecky!" (it's not very appetizing IMO when it's done right)

This...this is even wreckier than I could imagine. The atrocities committed on innocent ice cream and cake!

WV: Piterics--the study of what makes us go "Ptooey!"...like this wreck!

Becca said...

Who orders a turkey cake? That's just wrong.

Amy said...

The "legs" still look quite raw, and it seems the bird's pooping yellow and orange...er..flowers? Grass?

~Amy B-H

Jenniffer said...

Hey Jen & John!

We really enjoyed meeting you both in Atlanta last night! You are both as awesome in person as you are in blog form!

Another awesome wrecktastic cake! Wreck on!

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

WATERBABY CHRISTINE said...

What does the Bionic Man eat at Thanksgiving? Why, the Bionic Turkey of course! Looks like the Bionic Dog got ahold of that leg first.

wv: odidy
Thanks, CW, for yet another edible odidy.

The Pink Queen Albatross said...

The original cake is gross! I don't know why anyone would want to make a replica. Shiny gravey looking icing? Yum!

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone order a turkey cake in the first place? The shiny brown surface looks scary.

-Holly

Typhoid Ashley said...

Who in God's name even orders a turkey cake that looks like it's been shellacked??

Stef said...

Tofurkey...and now this. Stop messing with the bird!!!

Kimberly Chapman said...

I'm not sure why there's so much blame-the-victim stuff about ordering the cake in the first place...maybe they thought it was funny, maybe they wanted it to sit beside a real turkey to amuse others, who knows. I don't like lots of potential cake themes but that doesn't mean the concept of having one is invalid if it suits someone else's interests.

I've been snarked for making an eyeball cake and some of my other horror/RPG cakes, but they amused me and my friends so feh to anyone who has a problem with it...it's not like anyone else is being forced to eat it.

That being said, the actual cake as made is truly disgusting, and I'm sure not even up to health code with that wire in there. It looks like the turkey was tortured before being killed and cooked. Egads, it's awful.

Stacie said...

I picture that cake tasting like gravy. Cake is NOT supposed to look like it tastes like gravy!!

kooky said...

lol i'm more amused at ppl who write that they barfed or tasted their breakfast. ppl really? its just a picture.

and stop asking "who would want such a cake?" if it was available to be bought that meant a number off ppl wanted a frozen ice cream cake shaped like a turkey. geez.

wv: reillye. how apt.

WkSocMom said...

Mmmm... gravy. That's what they get for ordering a cake in the shape of a turkey, geez.

Obsidienne said...

Maybe i'm in the minority here, but I think the original is pretty sweet (no pun intended..)! I would definitely get something like that for my dinner.

The wreck is just awful though. Never before has a turkey looked so unappetizing....

Sues2u2 said...

Okay, more than a little disturbing there. Seriously.

Kristen said...

Now, is that Frankenturkey or Turkenstein?

maya said...

but why would you order that in the first place?! the first picture is actually less appetizing than the wreck because it's so freakin' glossy! food shouldn't be that shiny.

Debbie (Nerd Goddess) said...

Ugh!

Little Lovables said...

oh, heavens no... this is as gag inducing as the tofurky on Everybody Loves Raymond

Bonnie said...

Ewww...cake pretending to be meat is always wrecky...it can't possible taste right...you see turkey (sort of) but taste cakey goodness? And in this case COLD cakey goodness...It's like thinking you're about to drink Coke and end up with iced tea. Ptooie...

It was great meeting you two last night here in Atlanta...I've looked through the book several times now, showing it to coworkers and such, and I keep finding new things to crack up over. It's like you said...sometimes you've just got to let the wrecky details sink in...

~Bonnie B :)

Amanda said...

Why... is it so SHINY? Even a real juicy turkey isn't that glossy. It's like it was shellacked. And the wrecktastic version is even worse!

WV: cubra -- a cobra that speaks really fast Spanish?

Tina said...

Ha. I saw that ad for a turkey ice cream cake at Baskin Robins. Love the wreck.

Nick said...

Gross. Both cakes are barftastic.

Surfie said...

Ew! The original isn't very nom-worthy either. It's shiny. It looks like someone iced it with spit. :(

Sarah Schwerin said...

*vomit!*

Both the before AND after cakes are repulsive! Why oh why would anyone want a shiny turkey cake??! Blurgh!

Kar said...

But why would you order a turkey cake in the first place?

~ L. K. said...

As someone who would want cakes in the shape of organs, steak, or any other unsavory, wtf styles, this creeps me out. There's something about it that makes me squiggle. I wouldn't want either cake D:
As someone mentioned, I think its because both are SHINY. VERY SHINY. Why so shiny? It's like as though you basted your turkey in disgusting corny syrupy fake turkey taste. I can understand that they make want to make it brown, but why not chocolate icing? What's wrong with that?

Anonymous said...

Think of all the people who had to say, "Yeah, that's a good idea!" for that inspiration cake to even be an option for a customer!


WV: quity
You thinkin' about orderin' a turkey cake?
Quity!

Anonymous said...

UURP! >@-BLARGH!

*Wipes mouth* Sorry about that guys...

Mella said...

Well it's brown

Sal :-) said...

They got what they deserved... No sane person would order that cake. EWWW

Anonymous said...

Ugh, this one is messing with my mind.

I believe there's a David Sedaris essay on foods that seem mispackaged in other countries-- like mayo that comes in a tube, or peanut butter in a can (as though you'd eat it all in one sitting).

Unfortunately, this time, we're the ones not getting it right. Still, if you've got the disposable income in this economy, more power to you. I'll just be at my house with the real thing!

Natalie said...

Are you disgusted as a cake lover? Check.
Are you disgusted as a vegetarian? Double check.
Is it sick freaking nasty? Check!

Disagnosis: Wrecktastic!

Stamp4hobby said...

Why did they want a turkey cake? That's the real story!!!

Gary said...

Sevenmarie gives an admirably clear explanation of why this cake is actually quite hard to make. But she still doesn't explain why anybody would want one.

the three amigos said...

I think both cakes look nasty. Ish.

WriteCards said...

Didn't get a chance to look at Cake Wrecks before going to bed last night (I live on the other side of the world). Looking at it at 6:55 a.m.

Big. Mistake.

Both turkey cakes are nauseatingly gross. ::sound of retching::

Anonymous said...

Horrific, in concept and execution.

nelsonturf said...

Who would order that in the first place. EWWWWW.

Stuff On My Blog said...

That has got to be the most disgusting idea ever for a cake EW!

feathergirl said...

What in the world is that glazed with?

Samantha said...

Haha...I think the turkey cake that was made is actually more realistic than the one ordered. The whole thing was a bad idea, perhaps, but at least the baker was faithful to real life. :P

Samantha said...

and to one of the anonymous...oh god! I've had that Jones soda before--just a tiny sip of the brussels sprouts made me think I was gonna throw up. Cranberry sauce was the only passable one. Baaaad idea, people...totally not aloud. But at least our real dessert was suite! O.o

Janice said...

I'm a newcomer to Cake Wrecks, but I've found one of your youngest fans. Last night my 21-month-old was next to me as I perused past posts. Today he saw me open my laptop and he ran over eagerly, saying, "Take! Take, peas," which translates "Cake! Cake, please."

I found the desired blog and enjoyed his enthusiam for the Sesame Street sweets and the wrecks that followed. He is particularly found of the turkey cake, which he insists is a "duct take."

I'm sure I'll be checking in regularly if Mikey has anything to say about it. Thanks for the laughs and the mama-son bonding opportunity.

Sharon said...

That is just the worst thing I've ever seen here, and that is really saying something!

WHY? I think the wanted one is gross too.

Kisa said...

That's so sad!! There's no wire in it, we had one last year since none of us really like a big giant Turkey for thanksgiving. It's not actually Gravy, it's a mix of chocolate and caramel sauces.
It's pretty delicious!

Sixxlet said...

The first one looks pretty gross to me. The second one pretty much does look like the first, except it looks like someone got excited and tried to pull off a drumstick. But really, it's not that bad.

Jiminycricket said...

Is this supposed to keep me from overdoing it this Thanksgiving? Because if I keep these cakes in mind, mission: accomplished! Consider my appetite suppressed.

Jules said...

Oh what happen?! lol =D

Summer
A Writers Den
Brown Mestizo

Jill said...

If it weren't so tragically mangled, I'd be tempted to serve this up alongside a turkey flavored "meat cake" and watch the facial expressions...

WV: Proli. I'd proli see some good ones, too.

Susannie said...

Wreck aside...who on EARTH want's a turkey cake?? The original looked pretty scary as well!

Amanda Loughlin said...

if they wanted a turkey, why'd they go to the bakery? silly people.

StuffCooksWant said...

Ewwwww... both cakes look disgusting. Yes, I'd still eat them.

Ana Carol Rocha said...

disgusting!!! If cakes are sweet, why make them look like salty food?

Anonymous said...

the original looks almost as bad as the wreck

Etaven said...

I actually did get the turkey cake one year for my springtime birthday, simply to confuse people. Thankfully, mine looked more like the first cake.

funnycide said...

Years ago I found a prepackaged, imported cake called "Mr. Turkey" at an Italian bakery and believe it or not it was a huge hit. It wasn't glazed or frosted, which probably helped...it had bits of orange in it, and powdered sugar to sprinkle on top. It also came with those ruffly drumstick ends (made of sugar) to stick on before serving. Every year since then I've tried to find it again to no avail.

TX Lottery Gal said...

Yeah . . . we all thought my sister was crazy when she asked for a turkey cake this year for her birthday, but it actually was pretty fun :). I'm no professional, but I still think mine looked better, and with cookie "stuffing" I can almost bet it tasted better!

Havoc said...

ew...shiny food...

wv: yocapods: what you'll get living in your intestianal tract from eating shiny food. What do you think caused the French Revolution? All that freakin Aspic!

Photographer Leia said...

I'm still trying to figure out why you would want a shiny turkey shaped cake to begin with.

Bri said...

My stomach caved in...I'm serious.

Jennifer said...

Gah, that looks like a horned turd.

Chrys said...

LOL!!! I can't believe someone ordered this cake! At my store we will NOT be doing this cake for anyone. It is hard to keep the caramel (yes that shiny stuff is caramel) on the ice cream is a b****!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure this cake was not inexpensive -- why would you buy it and then complain? Just say, "no".

[rachel] said...

Surprisingly, I work at one of these stores and, while we didn't sell any last year, the year before we sold a ton. They look better, more matte, before the caramel gets put on it. Even in person they look disgusting, yet people have bought them right out of our case.

dreadkitty said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit....

Claire

Anonymous said...

What's the story on the offering in the background? 'Apple pie a la mode' as some kind of all-in-one concoction (could be okay), covered in frosting (diet aid). Is that a pie-cake? Nothing is what it seems!

Anonymous said...

To be fair, I work at the establishment that offers this cake (I see you have cleverly obscured the logo... very sneaky) and this cake is VERY hard to make. It involves putting melted caramel on top of frozen ice cream in a weird shape. Not sure if you've tried it, but it isn't surprising that the decorators had a hard time.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous who said;

'and this cake is VERY hard to make. It involves putting melted caramel on top of frozen ice cream in a weird shape. Not sure if you've tried it, but it isn't surprising that the decorators had a hard time.'

So that excuses them for getting money for shoddy work? Does this excuse shoddy work in other places? 'Oh wah wah it's to hard to make this *thing here*' or 'wah it's to hard to do *thing*' how about I half ass it, it doesn't matter, who cares!

Yeah, how about you go eat this disgusting fail of an ice cream cake.

morriganscrow said...

You have to admire the hi-gloss finish on the original cake. It looks like it was polished by a fanatical car owner - heavy on the Turtle Wax and/or shellac.

I wonder if s/he used a power buffer?

R said...

I think a turkey cake is hilarious! Everyone seems to be taking this seriously but I think it's supposed to be a funny thing. As for the replica, I do not believe this actually came from Baskin Robins because the turkey legs are extended out past the board which means it didn't get put in a box. How would they have gotten this home without a box. It is definately a bad replica. I guess a BR employee could hve taken this pic at the store but to say it came from B.R. doesn't seem fair.

Anonymous said...

I work for Baskin Robbins and all I have to say us I HATE that cake. . . we dont even do the caramel glaze because it NEVER works!

Anonymous said...

I work for them and these cakes are really hard to make but this year they solved this problem by icing it in butter cream first and then the caramel on top it turns out like the picture. this is really funny though. I really hoped someone didn't have to pay for that.