[pushing back glasses and consulting clipboard] Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present...
The Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!Or it might be a fish. Fish...falcon...you know. Whatevs.
[Shuffling papers] Next we have...
The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.(Watch out; they spit.)
So for now let's just call it the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.(I think that has a real ring to it, don't you?)
Here we have a particularly colorful specimen:
The Majestic Disco Newt! Let's pause a moment to admire his beautiful plumage.Right. That's long enough.
And finally, we have...
And finally, we have...
The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad.(Yeah, you heard me. ZooBorns, eat your heart out.)
Thanks to Kelly D., Kit R., Caitlin B., Jordan J. and Donald L., who are all, er, majestic.
- Related Wreckage: Sideshow Slideshow
|
186 comments | Post a Comment
The names are MARVELOUS! Thanks for a good laugh!!
The Majestic Disco Newt is actually rather cute in a nerdy kind of way.
The back or shell(?) reminds me of those big parachutes that the kiddlies play with at early childhood family education classes. A lot of work went into all those little stars and the hint of a smile is precious.
As for the rest -- polite words fail me.
The Disco Newt looks like one of those Simon games where you have to hit the colors in a certain order... the rest are just scary.
Love the names though - can't wait to see these specimens in my local zoo!
Are you SURE that's a four eyed zebra toad? Or is it two zebra toads, uh, getting it on?
The disco newt looks like a turtle and a game of Simon made a baby.
Also, I appreciate how the wreckerators of the coiled craphound took the time to add a sprinking of random tufts of grass around the cardboard. It's all in the details.
MarliO,
Awesome.
john
Wow Jen, you're really on the ball with these new discoveries! None of the news sites have a peep about them!
;)
WV: "crations" We're reluctant to call these cakes actual creations, so we'll shorten it by a letter and call them "crations".
How, um... majestic. The 4 eyed spotted thing gives me the willies.
Are those doughnuts encased in icing on the first one? And other lumps could be Twinkies. I thought the Halloween horrors were done with but - ahh! it's Frankencake!
The coiled crap hound is fantastic. Seriously made me laugh out loud, drawing attention from my confused half-asleep husband.
I actually like these, except for the Disco Newt. At least, they show imagination. The green carp/flounder with chicken feet and the bagel-faced chupacabra are especially interesting.
The Coiled Craphound would be a passable armadillo, except that armadillos have ears and they aren't chocolate brown. But if you had a very clever trained dog that could poop out armadillos, they'd look about like this ...
You know, that last one kind of looks like there's two of them. I see two sets of 'front paw things' and two sets of eyes and it looks like, um this is awkward. Yeah, I think you see what I mean, right?
Aw crap, MarliO beat me to it! Where are our minds?
The green one isn't a mutant croc or alligator is it?!? By the size of the feet it must have been crossed with a chicken!
That green thing is shaped like the Beatle's "Yellow Submarine"! Except--it's green--of course....
As JHill said, it's hilarious that the creator of the craphound randomly put clumps around the critter...as if that would make it better somehow. LOL!
I feel sorry for the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound. He looks like he'd be really sweet if someone could look past his exterior and judge him on his personality alone. I'd adopt him.
See, I saw the disco newt and thought, "Huh. Looks like they made a beach ball and decided summer was over so they had to make it into something else."
WV: impokeb- He didn't impale the head on the stake, he just impokeb it.
4-eyes on the Zebra-toad? I see 6 and I'm kind of scared to think that it might have more in the back! *shivers*
I'm thinking the coiled crap hound is meant to be an infamous Armadillo Cake
Thank you for yet again making me spit coffee across my desk in a fit a laughter! I should have learned my lesson at this point! Great post!!
I Think the wreckerator forgot to write "John 3:16" on cake board of the disco newt.
"Watch out; they spit." That line did me in.
Thanks for my daily laugh! :)
WV: folfi - what comes out when you try to say "fluffy" with your mouth full of cake
I think it is sad that even the bagel nose creature looks scared. Ironic, don't you think?
-Paula
Bow WOW
crap hound. heh heh
it's shameful what they do with chocolate nowadays.
That's gotta be a doughnut nose, don't you think? Because BAGELS and cake is so gross.
The plumage don't enter into it! And hey, ZooBorns has baby otters, so I love them. :-) As for the, erm, majestic specimens... might need a new toilet brush after the inevitable excrement rainbow...
WV: nolic - No, doggie, nolic, I don't want to scoop THAT poop if you eat these wrecks!
I think it only fitting that we name the Majestic Disco Newt Simon. Pause...look again...you'll get it ;-)
Shades of those LSD-tripping "butterfly" wreckerators.
Coiled poop hound - thought it was sunburned Alf.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!
I'm a biologist and I still can't classify any of those critters. I blame the hideous mutations on high levels of radiation... or mercury...or.... Nah, still no plausible explanation.
WV: calig= stuffed nose pronunciation of "calling." "Dis is de zoo calig. What are dose?"
Leanne,
Personally, I'm pinin' for the fjords, bein' all shagged out and whatnot.
john
I think the "disco newt" kind of looks like the Simon game from the 80's.. but with a face. creepy.
"The Majestic Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil.
(Watch out; they spit.)"
And just try riding into Agraba on one of those!
^..^
WV: ticesses. "As far as men's neckwear goes, this ticesses to amaze me."
Disco Newt is acceptable for a wacky party. The others are horrible and terrifying!
Simon the Disco Newt is *adorable.*
Majestic?
That's a "doodie-dillo." You know, the fabled armadillo made of doodie.
I spit my coffee out at "coiled crap hound". The day...is made, thanks to cakewrecks.
Could that be a veiled Monty Python reference on the Majestic Disco Newt?
Check out one of their best skits ever: The Dead Parrot
Beautiful plummage!!
I'm thinking that the Coiled Crap Hound was a Turdadillo in another life.
I don't know what that first one is supposed to be, but it's so cute I don't know if I want to eat it or pet it!
Love the gratuitous use of the world majestic!
I'm supposed to be paying attention in my computer class at the moment, and it's taking everything in me to not burst out laughing at these wrecks and your commentary, Jen!
Keep it comin'!
Nicole
Here are today's cakes according to my 5-year-old:
1) parrot
2) garden (he said alligator first but changed his mind)
3) armadillo
4) a snake all curled up, or a colorful turtle
5) funky frog
There you have it!
The Disco Newt reminds me of the Webkinz Wheel of Wow. I made a Wheel of Wow for mw son's birthday a few years ago.
The Craphound looks somewhat like a tardigrade: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waterbear
Except it's missing its middle legs.
Following in the tradition... This is what my 3 year old says these cakes are.
1. A rhino
2. A lizard
3. A monster made out of chocolate
4. He thought about it for a while and all he could come up with was "It's friendly"
5. Long, confused pause, "Another rhino"
oh, so Majestic, each and every one!
good thing skinning animals for their pelts is so out right now
Unfortunately
They have not ceased to be, they are not ex-wrecks!
Short time reader; first time commenter...
Normally, your blog makes me smile, usually a chuckle and on occasions a hearty laugh. This morning, I lost it. The person I was on the phone with was worried I wasn't breathing. I am addicted to your site. If only I could get paid for reading it all day. Thank you for the smiles.
I agree with MarliO - two toads who love reeeeeally love each other. This should be a particularly special discovery since toads lay eggs. So many things to say, not enough room.
Simon the Disco Newt interests me strangely...
That first creature looks like it is begging to be put out of it's misery...Dr. Moreau strikes again.
That's not a crap-hound (I have two of those at home..) it's obviously a mole......made of crap......hmmmmm
Well done Cake Wrecks... but where is the majestic and elusive Fennec Hare - http://bit.ly/INMcn ?
That first one is interesting. :)
I actually feel bad for the hound. It looks so sad. I do love the random patches of grass around it, though.
Hahaha! When I saw the "Majestic Coiled Crap Hound" I instantly started singing "Single Ladies" in my head!
If you like it then you should have put a ring on it....
oh my! thoes are beyond gross!
Am I the only one who thinks the Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad is kinda cute in a disturbing, mutated sort of way? Though I see it as more of a strange (and terrified, for perfectly understandable reasons) zebra-frog-mouse hybrid...
Laughing my face off!
I feel like I've been visiting the zoo....
on Jupiter.
I don't know which one I like the best.... its a toss up between the Newt (I love disco) and the Zebra Toad.
Your names of the animals rock!!
Coiled crap hound?
I'm going to have nightmares!
Aw, I like the disco newt/turtle. He looks like that old electronic game "Simon", where the colored buttons would light up in some order and you had to hit them in the same order.
-Holly
"Crap Hound!" ROFL
Amy B-H
Hi! I was at the NY sardine can yesterday evening, and it was great to meet you both! My one regret is not asking John to do his Swedish Chef impression. I love me some Bork Bork Bork!!!
Ahh! This was one of the funniest things I have ever read! My husband and I were practically in tears, we were laughing so hard. Brilliant!
A lot of these look like they need to just give in and ring down the curtain and join the bleeding choir invisibule!
Are we sure the coild craphound isn't a Puli?
http://tinyurl.com/yffmpw6
I like Meg's idea of a name takes the, uh, cake. The craphound shall forever be "Turdadillo" in my mind. Now if only I could get it out of my mind.
I think the four-eyed zebra toad must be a dalmation, right? Right? Please tell me they had some real creature in mind when they made this.
I think the disco newt is kind of cute. The other ones are just..???
WV: kentre. I kentre cognize any of these animals.
The Majestic Disco Newt is my definite favourite. It has nothing to do with the excellently placed Monty Python reference :D
What do you get when you cross a mole, an armadillo, a pig and a LARGE bottle of laxatives?
A Coiled Crap Hound!
Holy Crap! er, hound.
What really creeps me out about that last one is that it almost looks like if you were to spin the cake board around, you would be greeted by yet another face. Perhaps they had a motherload of white and black icing to use up?
Turdadillo for sure on Crap Hound.
And the poor bagel-nosed falcon looks afraid of itself; almost as if it's just peeked a glance in the mirror and thought, "Good God, what is that thing?"
Am I the only one who sees a bit of human anatomy to the right side of the bagel face?
Let me be the 50th to say it, The Majestic Disco Newt ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Majestic Dicso Newt looks like a toy I once had
I thought it was pretty telling when my very imaginative 4 and 6 year olds came up and asked me "Mom, what is that?" as I viewed the first one and then just looked more and more confused as I scrolled down!
Great post, as ALWAYS!
WV: reddiest - Bakery owner to employee: Did you finish those animal cakes? Wreckerator to boss: Yeah, but I think the brown dog will be reddiest if I add some grass.
I'm glad I'm not the only one to have spotted the Pythonism, but really, it needs to be written in the accent. So as a tribute to usenet days of old:
ITYM
boo'iful plumage!
HTH HAND
(PS You can go nerd-fishing even amongst a group of RPGers by naming your character Notlob, and then find the true hard-core nerds by who responds that that's not a palindrome either.)
They are all so cute! Wrecktastic, yes, but cute!
Erm, except for maybe the coiled-crap-hound. I'd have to give him away to my hairstylist.
WV: tersi... a possible name for the bagel-nosed little critter?
One of your best posts. EVAH!
My fave is the cute Disco Newt. Even the words Disco Newt are hella cute.
I could read a hundred of those! More, more, moooooooore!
I'm a little worried...are doughnut cakes going to be the next craze? Watch out cupcakes! You're going down!
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
*gasp*
teehee
*snerk*
These are so funny! Great finds, you deserve a prize for being able to come up with such witty and funny names and comments.
You are my new idol when it comes to great names and witty comments.
I am putting a Post-It next to my computer, reminding me not to look at this blog until after noon, just in case. This all came too early in the day. Yikes!
As a Texan, I can tell you with complete confidence that the third critter is an armadillo. However, that is still no excuse. - Kate B.
Is the craphound being served up with a garnish of parsley? That shows excellent taste.
Majestic Disco Newt... AHHHH!
You're killing me XD
*wiping away tear*
-Melinda
I thought maybe the Coiled Craphound was supposed to be a Shar-Pei. (Is that how you spell it?)
Funniest post in ages. Thanks for the belly laughs!
Jen and John--Thanks for a great evening in NYC in the Sardine Can Without Restrooms! It was worth it just to hear your story and meet you. Also, thanks for the gorgeous prize necklace--love it!
Karen "Cookie Monster" Hoy
They all look like they are about ready to be pushing up the daisies!
I would humbly suggest the name "poomadillo" for the brown.... majestic thingy.
-Kris
Just got busted at work because I was laughing so hard at the "coiled crap hound".
Thanks for the laughs. Totally worth it. =)
"Majestic Coiled Crap-Hound" is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. You two are seriously the best! Srsly.
The Majestic Coiled Crap Hound is my favorite!
disco newt looks like a beachball! lol and my boyfriend had so much fun last night he is now a reader!! lol thanks!
These are all so fabulous, but I'm thinking that the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound might actually be the lesser known PooPotamus. I mean, it's fat, low to the ground.... Just sayin'.
Love the names. These are craptacular.
The bagel-nosed whatever made me think of that Office episode in which Charles first visited the Scranton office, and to "welcome" him, Michael bought bagels and ripped out a bit of each one to make the bagels look like Cs. (For "charles." get it?)
ugh!
Hey! That coiled wrinkly dog is no Shar-Pei! That's a Shar-Poo!
This just made my day. Learning about new species, my favorite being Simon the Majestic Disco Newt (I still giggle every time I see it), AND some well-placed Pythonisms? Love it. LOVE. Keep up the awesome work, Jen and John!!
Best yet! I'm sure my cube neighbor is wondering why I'm laughing so loud. I'm usually either very quiet or grumbling about something.
Love the Zebra Toad.
The only ones I could really make a guess at what they were supposed to be were the first one (fish, as suggested) and the Crap Hound, which I think might be supposed to be a mole.
WV: whabi--Whabi that cake, man? It don't look like nuttin' to me!
And here I thought the first one was a sheep!
Eeeeee!
I actually really like the bagel-nosed falcon and the disco newt. They have...character.
Am I the only one that recognizes the Michelin Man's pet dog? Or Kermit the Frog's Gay Pride Parade costume?
wv: speridd
The green food coloring was certainly not speridd in decorating the Roadrunner's St. Patrick's Day outfit.
Hmmm...that Coiled Crap Hound bears a remarkable resemblance to a morbidly obese dachshund that I've met. Her legs couldn't keep her up either - so sad, a slow kill with kindness.
Love the names, just about spit my coffee at the CCH moniker!
Re: the first, uh, cake: Would I be right in thinking that it would be in incredibly bad taste (heh!) to make a reference to Michael Jackson? OK, I won't then.
wv: lousti
What a lousti thing to say.
"watch out... they spit"
AMAZING incognito Aladdin reference. Well done!!!
-Emily from Ohio State University!
Is it just me or does the bagel-nosed creature look like he's begging you to spare his life? Is PETA behind this cake?
I think the coiled crap hound is supposed to be an armadillo..perhaps a cousin of the coiled crap hound.
Just wanted to let you know Cake Wrecks is mentioned on our blog today: http://3tnar.blogspot.com/2009/11/picture-book-catch-up.html
The Majestic Coiled Crap Hound - looks like it may have some Yak in his lineage.
I thought the first one was a lamb! But I do love the Disco Newt and teh Zebra Toad. I want both on a tshirt! X3
Hmm, Disco Newt looks like a Fraggle to me.
I think Disco Newt is supposed to be Epcot.
True Anecdote from Last Night in NYC:
A man saw all of us crowded into the tiny event space and asked Kyle (the bookstore events coordinator) what kind of event it was. Kyle replied, "The book is called "Cake Wrecks." The man asked, "Is this book of a metaphysical nature?"
I've got to say the Newt reminds me of that Simon game...
Ahhh...childhood memories. Hated that thing.
Everyone keeps mentioning the Disco Newt as something from a Simon game... but has anyone considered this?
http://www.likerpg.com/Database/MapleStory/Images/Monsters/37991234.jpeg
Courtesy of some classic MapleStory WTF.
Did you know that Cakewrecks is mentioned in the book section of this weeks Peoples Magazine?
OMG, I just accidentally click on the Coiled Crap Hound and it blew up and took over my screen. It scared the . . . well, it scared me. For a second. Then I just felt sorry for it and its scraggly tufts of grass. Oh, poor Poo Hound!
The newt reminds me of Fraggle Rocks
Loving the "Aladdin" reference!
I'm with Gary on that hound looking like an armadillo. I thought it was supposed to be an armadillo something when I saw it!
I think this is the first time I've posted on here. MAJESTIC COILED CRAP HOUND!!! That is the funniest thing ever! I was dying laughing. I think this is my new exclamatory remark. My friends and I do really dumb ones like saying Noodles! or something equally lame on purpose. Now I have Majestic Coiled Crap Hound! Thank you Cake Wrecks!
The brown thing has to be a "turdle".
WTF?!
that all i've got to say
There actually is an animal with the scientific name "Magnificent Frigatebird". But of course, you already knew that.
The Majestic Diso Newt isn't a newt, that's Filbert from Rocco's Modern Life!!!
If I had a band, I'd totally name it "Majestic Disco Newt."
Our first speciman:
a Henson original,
dipped in a fine glaze.
wv: ovenis
Your ovenis in rebellion, refusing to let you bake anymore.
I like that they are all majestic, even if not so much. Also, the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound may be very closely related to the armadillo or perhaps just too many bean burritos.
I have to stop reading this in class because it's too difficult not to laugh out loud. Thanks for the laughs! (and for the signing in NY!)
For the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound, I would suggest the name "Turd-adillo"
That Green thing could be Iguana roadkill.
Too funny! I have no idea if there is any animal anywhere in the universe that actually looks like that!! But, seriously, wouldn't it make a terrific stuffed toy?? Its just drop dead cute in a weird way.
OH MY GOSH!!! I loved them all, but the Disco Newt- I LOL'ed at that one for several minutes!
DK
http://uberfoodnoob.blogspot.com/
I thought the first one was a sheep. Am I alone on that?
I think you are mistaken about the identity of number 3... it is obviously a breed of Shih Tzu
I can't believe I am going to confess this, but I just shot milk out of my nose when I read "Majestic Coiled Crap Hound"
So unbelievably funny!
I have to go get cleaned up...
Does the colorful one remind anyone else of a Chinese Checkers board?
My son and I also had the first impression of the Simon game upon seeing the Disco Newt. However, it was the toad-thing that did us both in. My ice cream nearly was splattered across the monitor and not only did I laugh so hard I cried, but my sides now ache as well! From one who works in a zoo, thanks for your best "animal" post yet!
This post made me laugh so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes! I love the disco newt. Where can I get me one of those?
I'm in love with the disco newt!
The disco newt - looks like a fraggle!!!
This reminds me of the dalmation I used to see in my childhood nightmare...guess I'm sleeping with the TV on tonight!
"coiled crap hound"
i like it. (c:
copropup :)
Aww, I kind of want to adopt the coiled craphound too. He looks quite embarassed of his unfortunately crappy skin condition.
i think the brown thing is supposed to be a tardigrade
The Majestic Disco Newt. Looks just like the giant, flattened, crocheted turtle my little sister received for Christmas circa 1980.
Ooooh Oooooh! Disco Newt! Ooooh Oooooh!
OMG! I can only hope these are inside jokes, otherwise there are some seriously disturbed cake decorators out there! http://blog.sweetservices.com/sweetscandyblog/
I think the disco newt is supposed to be a kid's toy (my son has a turtle a lot like that; it lights up and plays highly irritating music). Sort of like this one:
http://www.seatoys.cn/product/en_product_view.asp?version=en&id=908
Great post, Jen! One of your best!
LMAO!!
I think the bottom one's supposed to be an abstract kitty. It *does* look awful froggy though, now that you've brought my attention to it. LOL!
Really, no one else saw this in the disco newt? No one?
http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1870689_1823247,00.html
Yay! Uganda made it on cakewrecks. I see so many wrecks in my country but I'm too shy to just take pictures of cakes I can't buy. Next time I'll just take a picture and run. LOL. Thank you for acknowledging our country. I'm doing a dance for joy. I just wish it was a Sunday Sweet. Heh.
My 18 month old saw me looking at the fish/falcon and immediately supplied the sound effects "Rowr Rowr!"
I clicked on the ZooBorn link and have decided that the coiled crap hound is the baby echidna from their site!
CRAP HOUND???????? I think I'm going to cry myself to death laughing.
I think the first one might actually be this: http://www.imperfectparent.com/books/articles403_1.php
Look at the critter in the lower right hand corner.
Majestic Coiled Crap Hound? Hilarious!
oh HILARIOUS! The Aladdin reference just about made ME spit...on the keyboard...
Word verification: DISLO. Short for dislocate, as in, "The wreckerator did her best, but since she was working with a dislo'd shoulder, her fancy design didn't turn out as majestic as she'd hoped."
I belive the first one is a TOUFURKEY! LOL
Swoozie
What the heck were those wreckorators ON?? I think I'd like some...
Coiled Crap Hound is my favorite...I just snorted green tea through my nose. You guys are funny. Damn funny.
I think the disco newt is supposed to be a character from the children's show Barney.
The other stuff creeps me out to much to take too close of a look!
This one had me laughing out loud and brought tears to my eyes!! SO needed that! You are brillz!!
Majestic Coiled Crap Hound.
Coffee actually shot out my nose.
I want the Majestic Disco Newt for my next birthday present. You could play Ludo on his back if you so fancied.
The Coiled Crap Hound is the first wreck in a while that made me want to puke.
Nice finds Jen and John.
I LOVE the Majestic Coiled Crap Hound--what a great name for a breed!
Caroline
My 6-yr old immediately called bagel-face sheep, and the mutant zebra mating frogs were a "crazy dog"
The disco newt is sorta cute!
Not that you will ever read this, but my face hurts from laughing so hard. I should never read this after drinking a Pepsi. Not so good on tummy.
The commentary is nothing short of fantastic. :)
Christina,
Of course we read it. We read all the comments. Thank you for the kind words.
john
Is the not-so-majestic crap hound meant to be an armadillo? The Happy Chicken-Footed Spiny-Backed Slime Devil meant to be a *shudder* crocodile. And although it is colourful enough to have us c*&^ing crayons is the Disco Newt a turtle?
no comments on the rest *ahem, ahem*
account still not letting me sign in -gr.
Oh these are soooooooo good :) They really made me laugh. Thanks for this beautiful site!
I don't care what anyone thinks, that last one is clearly a stormtrooper head.
Oh good, it's the lovechild of Birdo and a Cheep-Cheep from Super Mario. I was afraid I might never know what it would be like.
I think the crap hound is supposed to an armadillo? Either way its funny.
My 7 year old son thinks the Coiled Crap Hound should be called the Crapadillo. : )
Is Disco Newt up for adoption? He's KYOOOOT!!!!!!
oh man... those are freakin' hilarious. i can't stop laughing. its hard to see the screen with these tears of hysteria streaming down my cheeks! that made my monday!
That's not a coiled craphound! That's a tardigrade or waterbear, one of the world's hardiest living species! Of course, it seems to have lost its middle set of legs, but you'll agree the resemblance is impressive.
My 3 year old says that the 'Majestic Bagel-Nosed Falcon of Uganda!' cake is a sheep in a fish tank, of course.
The Majestic Three-Toed Four-Eyed Whiskered Zebra Toad I think is actually doing something "unmentionable". It is 2 "animals" not one as far as I can tell. I know for us foodies cake is sexual...but not in that sense of the word!
The dog actually looks like an armadillo because of the coiled-ness. :)
*GASP*...Trying to breathe... not succeeding... laughing to hard... This is my favorite post ever! THANK YOU JEN FOR LIGHTING THE WORLD with your Bagel-nosed falcon of Uganda, Majestic Coiled Crap Hound, Majestic Disco Newt, and Four Eyed Zebra Toad(?), and your hilarious commentary.
WV: sesenerb
I sesenerbed the chicken with sesenherb.