Thursday, November 19, 2009

Batter UP!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Frankly, Carianne, I don't think I can top the genius of the pun that is 'batter up', so I'll just quit while I'm ahead.

PS: Take that, Failblog.

- Related Wreckage: Freud Would Have a Field Day
Amanda in Austin said...

OMG. Those are the most phallic looking "bats" I have EVER seen. Truly. Somebody didn't even try NOT to make them look like penises.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, a wang and a turd....who WOULDN'T want that cake?!?

Becky

Evalis said...

Well at least they didn't try to ice the 'bats' in wood tones. 'Cause we all know how that would look.

maya said...

RECIPE FOR A WRECK
ingrediens: poop, phalluses, poop phalluses, ccc (ptooey), puntastic label, baseball 'diamond', and two balls.
Bake at 350 for 25 minutes, serves 12 uncomfortable looking people standing at arms length from the table, whipering to eachother, "is it just me, or...?"

joanne said...

So instead of diamonds, we've had triangles and ovals. Now a CLOVER? are you kidding me? This is supposed to pass as a baseball cake? oh wreckerators, you've got to be kidding.

Not to mention the wonky bats are a little phallic, especially since they are so much smaller than the balls! scale, anyone?

The wonky CCC clover of baseball despair!

LI Laura said...

Penises made of poop. How appetizing!

Albatross said...

Oh my goodness. The...bats, I guess they're supposed to be? The one on the left looks like male genitalia, and the one on the right looks like...umm...

Wrong on so many levels.

Taylor@myolderbrothers said...

I can deal with the suggestive "bats." But why do they have to put the word "moistest" on the box? I hate that word. It's up there among the worst words ever, along with "sixths."

Terry Lee said...

oh.

dear.

lord.

i'm blushing and it takes a lot nowadays to accomplish that!

wish i could think of some clever baseball/sexually-related innuendo to insert here. but i'm hard pressed to think of one.

this wreck is definitely a home run!

Stephanie said...

Let's see, what's wrong with this cake?
- it's a CCC (ptooie!)
- it doesn't look much like a baseball diamond
- the "bats" are poopy-looking
Need I go on?
FAIL on many, many levels.

WV - legrin: What a French person has on their face when they're happy.

Morgan said...

At least it's moist.

hehehe

Martin said...

The combination of "decoration," your pun, and the label reading "The Moistest Cake You've Ever Tasted" - I don't think I could make myself eat this, even if the alternative was the coiled-poo-hound cake.

eilbeback said...

Poo bats! GREAT!

Ophelia said...

It's moist because nothing can get through the wall of icing >_<

WV: extert. "Put some extert icing on that cupcake monstrosity, we don't want it drying out!"

Sadie Potts said...

Oh good, a poo penis lying in a bed of grass. It's a hit!
Sadie

ChickyChica said...

Is "moistest" even a word? It just sounds weird...

Gary said...

A misshapen four-leaf clover with baseballs and poo-flavored dog bones*-- if that doesn't turn out to be the moistest (?) cake I've ever tasted, I'll want to know the reason why.

* Yes, I know that the dog bone on the left is subject to another interpretation, but please don't tell me about it.

Amanda Mac said...

Holy chocolate penis, batman!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, that 'thing' on the left is surely NSFW.

Piccadilly said...

Oh. my. goodness.

Mo said...

What worries me most is that it's "The moistest cake you'll ever taste!".

Ew.

Anonymous said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing!!!!

Alexandra said...

For me, the best part about this is the label reading "The moistest cake you've ever tasted". It just leaves too many disturbing thoughts goign through my brain. Out damned thoughts, out I say!

Mother (Re)produces. said...

Left over from Saint Paddy's Day too! Yum Yum!

Lian said...

Not to mention "The moistest cake you've ever tasted!" Pretty suggestive, too.

Amanda M. said...

I was looking on in horror until I saw the "the moistest cake you ever tasted!" and cracked up!

Really, why would you put that out for sale!

Beth said...

Oh good lord! Where to begin...I'm with Becky on this one.

Sage said...

hmmm those shapes are definitely not bat like and more like phallus's or even turds.... so funny tho.

Miranda said...

.....poopdick

Trista said...

Oh the joy Cakewrecks brings each morning.

I think this cake is positively influencing my diet plans as it's made me a little sick to my stomach.

diddleymaz said...

OOHH Poo and Penis on a mutant shamrock leaf! I dread to think why its moist...

Rachel McPhillips said...

I *love* that it says "moistest cake you have ever tasted".

Brandy said...

That one on the left just CAN'T be an accident. It looks nothing like a baseball bat, and everything like a penis. I think some grocery store's been cake wrecks-baiting!

Sabrina said...

Yeah, I bet it's the moistest cake you've ever tasted too, for all the wrong reasons.

DIana said...

Looks like bases on balls.

Deray said...

I'm so glad to find out that I'm not the only one that sees those "bats" as highly inappropriate! jajajajaja

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Um, there is totally a pee pee on that cake made of poop. Hahahahahahahaa

Megz said...

::snort::

Carey said...

OMG - Miranda, I was already howling about the cake and the comments until I read your take on poopdeck - then I lost it and tears started streaming!!!

Deborah said...

That is definitely a penis. That's an on-purpose penis.

It's "Hammer and Penis," the new flag of Belarus.

Angela said...

The "bat" on the right looks like something in my cat's litter box...ewwwww!

Anonymous said...

those browns thing DO NOT LOOK LIKE BATS!!! WTH!

Charles CĂ©leste Hutchins said...

No, no, don't give me one from the sides, I'll take one of the balls inst . . . um, actually, I'm just not very hungry right now.

Anonymous said...

At least they were resourceful in recycling their St. Pat's Shamrock cake in time for baseball season (or maybe a little early?) Lucky it was green so they could make it "sporty."

Judging by the scale of "bat" v. ball, it could have been leprauchan-inspired. Right, Tiny?

Flartus said...

ugh, poo-....oh, Lord, I can't go on; this is a family-friendly page. I have to go gargle my eyeballs now.

Caroline B said...

A phallic poop on a green cake labelled moist...I'll just have a dry biscuit instead if that's OK...

(I think I just cleared up a couple of those 'bats' while walking my dogs.....)

Lulubelle B said...

Yep, I see peepees and doody.

wv: expolin
This wreckorator's got some expolin to do!

EnchantedFairyJJ said...

Oh, my goodness. I can't believe the decorator couldn't see that!

Heather said...

Well, at least there are 2 balls...

VeggieT said...

Hey Jen, I'd just like to say that I have enjoyed Cakewrecks since the moment I found. I remember the first day of looking through your archives a laughing for a good 2 hours minimum. And while there were some inappropriate cakes, but usually they were very mild and you took care to give us a heads up before showing the picture, I just simply glossed over them, but lately it seems unfortunate that these even more disgusting cakes seem to be becoming the general rule, and I don't find them very funny.

The Curries said...

Once you go black...

Iris said...

I think that label shouldn't be "The moistest cake you've ever tasted" but the soggiest, based on how misshapen that plot of land is. It's a regular swamp.

Miss B said...

The only reaction I could muster up was my jaw dropping.....

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hi VeggieT,

Please let me say first off that I know you have been a long time reader/commenter and that both Jen and I appreciate it. But your statement that "disgusting" cakes are becoming the "general rule" is a little off base. Just for fun, I looked through the archives and the closest remotely risque cake was a skeleton holding a pumpkin. Three weeks ago.

Believe me when I say that Jen and I always try to be sensitive to the readers when potentially posting something that some might find unsavory. At the same time, you need to understand that no child will ever see anything more than a skeleton holding a pumpkin, a baseball bat or a space shuttle. And frankly, it's just funny when a decorator makes an honest attempt at a nose or a baseball bat and fails this miserably.

I have said it before and I'll say it again: It's part of Cake Wrecks. It always has been and it always will be. It's no more frequent now than it was when the blog began. The question is, does it really bother you so much that you stop reading? The choice is yours.

Sincerely,

john

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

They had to label it moist? Of COURSE poopy-covered 4 leaf clovers are moist...DUH!!!

Anna said...

Oh no the DI'INT!

Elissa said...

"I'm looking over
a four-leaf clover
that I've overlooked before."

And kinda wish I had overlooked it again. Because the combination of a CCC "diamond", and poo-penis bats is just melting my brain.

WV: crest--We have reached the crest of baseball cakewrecks (I hope!).

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, baker? Are you SURE this is the only baseball cake you have?


Oh...

Jiminycricket said...

"The moistest cake you've ever tasted"...if you can get past our shameful attempts at presenting it to you.

Joe said...

I love baseball, but when it comes to cakes I gotta say, Hooray for the off season!

Penny said...

I just laughed till I cried at this cake, my boss even came out of his office to see if I was ok. Willies and doggie doo, priceless! I wish we had cakes like this in the UK..... ;0)

Penny
Abingdon, England

Anonymous said...

That had to be intentional.

Ulrike said...

Moistest cake ever? I wonder what the secret ingredient is.

Oh, Mandy said...

@ maya-- lol

If that wasn't on the cake's label, I don't know what should have been.

Thanks for the laughs, Jen (and co. found here)!

Elissa said...

P.S. I love the dig at failblog. Their bat cake from a while back in no way lives up to anything from Cake Wrecks, and they are so dismissive of Cake Wrecks. The snobs.

Anonymous said...

I think the label, "The moistest cake you've ever tasted" only ups the ranking on the unintentional comedy scale for this wreck. That, and the dog-turd baseball bats.

Kimberly Chapman said...

Egads, the one on the left even has a decent curve on it.

Hey John, my kid would probably look at those and think they were badly made letters! But yeah, kids don't see the dirty joke until they're old enough to turn EVERYTHING into a dirty joke, at which point a decorator could make a lovely and accurate bat and the kids that age would still giggle and say "heheh, BAT!" a la Bevis and Butthead.

PS OT, I just got email from Kerry Vincent thanking me for the cupcake wreck I did for you guys. :D

wv: moosh, as in what you have to do to your icing bag to make it squirt penis-turds like that.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

That one's gotta be intentional. I mean, it is SO heinous.

Miki said...

... clicked the comments on accident, and the WV inspired me to post where I really hadn't planned to do so...

WV: slyze

No matter how you slyze a CCC (ptooie!), it's still a cluster of cupcakes completely covered with copious clumps of colored icing.

Lisa said...

Wow. Just wow.

And P.S. I just checked out Failblog and your site totally takes the "cake".

Lea-Ann said...

this is so disturbing on so many levels.

deemack said...

Mmmmm....moist....

Laura said...

wow. That's all I can think of to say. just. wow.

Anonymous said...

And why does it cost either $22 or $32 (hard to read). A CCC, looking that bad, costing that much?! It must be the moistestness or something.

lisadh said...

ROTFL!! Oh, this CCC (ptooie!) is priceless! And the comments by the faithful following are just "icing on the cake".

I'm proud to be part of the Wreck nation!

Love you guys!

Leigh Lyons said...

Look! A Penis!

Leigh

Rachel said...

Don't they say once you go chocolate you never go back?

Or was that black?

Mmm, chocolate bats.

Luvabull said...

wow 2 balls.. a piece of poo and a teeny penis all on a mutant clover... and its the "moistest cake I'll ever taste?"..... I think i will pass..(and judging by the items on the cake.. i don't wanna KNOW what they moistened the cake with)

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

That cake is made of fail. It's even a ccc. pthoeey!

Tamara said...

The phallic bat and poop in conjunction with the label on the box reading "the moistest cake you've ever tasted..." ...nevermind, I suppose we shouldn't go there!

Tamara

Hobbit said...

Was a lurker long before becoming a commenter, John (hubby of Jen), and I haven't noticed an uptick of disturbing wrecks. And as I have to keep reminding myself, it's just cake. ;-)

Onto cake: Setting aside the CCC wreckiness on this one (happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!) the phallic poo 'bats' have to be intentional.

psyche said...

i almost think the "bat" on the left was unintentional... only because i can't imagine if a wreckarator *wanted* to make a tiny penis bat that it would end up that accurate!

Anonymous said...

what do i want on my shamrock cake? hmm... i think i'll have two baseballs, a turd, and a big black schlong. perfect!
-helen

Anonymous said...

So that is where Bobbits "manhood" ended up...So srry I just could not help that I think that cake just was a set up for every joke its gets.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Okay,

The hard part (no pun intended):

What words for penis are considered "family friendly?" Much more difficult than you think.

john

Kathleen said...

I know turds are a regular on Cake Wrecks, but I don't believe I have ever seen such realistic turds done in icing. Well done!

I have no comment for the other, uh, thing.

Kathleen said...

Oh, and it's moist too. Added bonus.

Rattlesnake said...

Those phallic turds are disturbing.

Anonymous said...

oooh! I think we just hit the motherlode of Wrecki-ness. Penis, turds, and anti- baseball "diamond", and the dreaded CCC.

Natballs said...

it took me a while to figure out what that was SUPPOSED to be.

Jessica said...

THE MOISTEST CAKE YOU'VE EVER TASTED!!!

Bwahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahhahaahhaaaaaaahahaha!!!

Fluffy Cow said...

Only thing funnier than this cake? The comments! Thanks for ALL the laughs everyone!

the Provident Woman said...

What the heck!

Jimmy said...

If you expect me to pay good money for a cake that looks like that, it darn well better be the moistest cake ever.

Also, Jen and John, if you have cakes to show that are going to stir up that kind of emotion in people, to be honest, I want to see those cakes! teeheehee

Anonymous said...

CCC + phallic poo!

ksaldria said...

Is it me, or does the "bat" on the left look remarkably like a penis? o.O

The heading, "The moistest cake you've ever tasted!" is not helping at all.

Glindie said...

That "bat" on the left has *got* to be on purpose. Surely something that phallic couldn't be acheived on accident--to me it looks like the left bat was piped in 2 rows--maybe someone was trying to get fired?

P.S. Am I the only one who thinks the words "moistest cake ever!" just add to the naughty factor of this "cake"?

De said...

I've only lurked but this just made my day! a wilted wiener, oh my. I hope the CCC isn't cream filled. Yuck! hehehe

Anonymous said...

John, I think the "family friendly" word you are looking for is, apparently, "bat." After all, baseball is full of lots of other euphemistic terms, it being America's OTHER favorite pastime. What's not to love?

Karmen M. said...

love how the cake box says "the moistest cake you've ever tasted" that just brings even more to the plate so to speak LOL.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to rechristen this hot mess of a clover a "quatrefoil." This way, it seems almost fancy enough to command a price of $12.99 for the privilege of taking it home.

Or is that an offer of $12.99, paid if you take it away and never bring it back again?

Christine said...

Ooh yummy! Faeces and a penis on the same cake.

John, I think the family friendly word for penis IS penis

Ashley said...

That "bat" on the left has GOT to be a deliberate act of cake-wreckery. I mean really, there's suggestive and then there's blatant and this cake, my friends, is blatant.

Deborah in California said...

Meanwhile... Aside from the (oh yes they are, too!) obvious [ahem] "bats" .. IF someone did buy this moist-est cake in the world and prevailed upon some others to eat it, just how long [dear me, euphemisms do "pop up" don't they?] would it take for their teeth to return to their normal shade? There's an old film called "how green was my valley." This cake asks the question, "how green were my teeth." (Among OTHER questions, of course.)

Anonymous said...

Christine (3:06)... i agree completely. we should use the proper words when talking to our kids about their awful dirty, shameful reproductive organs!
-helen

Anonymous said...

...can it get any worse?

Robynn said...

I totally just threw up in my mouth a little. I'll bet the poop is delicious, though... Oh god. Just typing that made it happen again.

Sarah McNair said...

The moistest cake you've ever tasted.....Hahaha...

Nettie said...

I wanna know who put that $12.99 sticker on there! SERIOUSLY.... How do they sleep at night... I hope this ccc stays in their dreams and haunts them, I know it will me... lol!

Tatersmama said...

Ohmigosh... what a way to start the day! Peckers and dog poop..yum yum!
And 'moistest'??? LMAO!

Anonymous said...

The moistest cake EVER? So why is it that instead of drooling, my mouth has gone completely dry?

B Johansen Newman said...

O.M.G. This may be my favorite Cake Wreck. Or maybe I mean Cake Erect.

Shelley Dayton said...

At least it's moist. Bleah...

Tanya said...

I didn't even realize those were supposed to be bats until I read the comments.

katie said...

Ummm....*blinks* I think "jaw dropper" would be an appropriate description. It really looks like the resemblance to the male genitalia is intentional! Wow.

Anonymous said...

Nothing says baseball like a two headed *dilly* and a pickaxe made of poop...the ten pounds of green frosting is the least offensive item on this "cake".

Syldoran said...

So this reminds me about a Ron White sketch about some women who were having a bachelorette party at one of his shows, which involved a chocolate member there.

Maybe this cake was for them?

I'm hoping a lot.

Tin Kettle Inn said...

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Anonymous said...

Remember Pinky and the Brain? That's what first came to mind, except as the Penis and the Poo. Oh, the adventures!

-Laura

Nicole said...

bahahahahaha. moist. ccc. poo 'bats'... *chortle*

redmorningstar said...

omg, so realistic ! with dog sh*t and everything ! :U

Bree said...

I'm guessing the wreckerator thinks sex should be America's national pastime instead of baseball.

Jerry said...

Actually it reminds me of the Gorn. Turn your head and you can see two bloodshot eyes, a pointy head and some mud thrown on the face by James T. Kirk.

zan said...

It seriously looks like my chihuahua left some itty bitty poops on that demented four-leaf-clover. Or something like that.

...And IHC for the win said...

I Heart Chaos > Failblog > Cakewrecks

Anonymous said...

I guess those brown things would be the male reproductive organs of turds, if turds could reproduce. I think I have to go vomit now.

Anonymous said...

A swing and a miss.

Anonymous said...

It looks like a really weird and bad 3 leaf clover. Not a baseball diamond. The key word should be DIAMOND!!!!


Debbie

Anonymous said...

LOL and it is the MOISTEST cake you've EVER tasted too. ;)

Rashelle

annacakes79 said...

That "bat" on the left could not look any more like a phallus if was one. It's horrible to look at.

Kristy said...

Okay....I think this must be the beginning of some sort of contest among cake decorators, "Can I get my cake featured on Cake Wrecks before you do?"

No way that "bat" on the left was unintentional. No. Way.

Anonymous said...

I don't care how moist this cake is, because between the shiny, shiny, deeply green icing and the icky brown bits that may or may not be poo (which the intensely green icing probably also tastes like), there isn't much left to love. Unless you're into eating paperboard, that is.

llama,llama not yo mama said...

B Johansen Newman for the win!

I've laughed until I cried. Especially at the "Pinky & The Brain" thing. I'm inspired to write a parody...

The "abbreviated" version...

Penis & The Poo
Penis & The Poo
When looking for a Cupcake Cake
No other will do(o).

They're such a load of Klass
Just this shy of crass...
Someone needs to kick
The Wreckerator's ....

Penis & The Poo
Penis & The Poo
They're Penis, Penis and the Poo, Poo, Poo, Poo...

Melissa (& Billy) said...

0_0

That's about all one can say about that.

Tammi said...

llama,llama not yo mama -- ROFL!!! Great parody!!

Really, this cake is a KEEPER!

AJ said...

I think they drew the "realistic" looking on of the left and were cracking up like "DUDE, THAT ONE LOOKS JUST LIKE A PEN15! okay, okay NOW we have to make the other one NOT look like one so we won't get into trouble..."

and of course, the irony of it also being the "The Moistest Cake You've Ever Tasted"
priceless.

makingyouhungry said...

I was going to make the crack about the cake being "the moistest you've ever tasted!" because it's no doubt "cream"-filled, but De beat me to it. Still had to comment, because...

WV: ingisms
Something that might happen on the ingfield of this cake if it's handled incautiously!

sleeplessnights04 said...

Is it just me or was there more time spent on the left bat than the right? Maybe these people need a picture for inspiration before they wreckorate. Have they never seen a bat? Maybe when the person thinks of a bat.....penis comes to mind,lol. Nevermind. :oP

Anonymous said...

Omigod, this one has made me laugh more than any other. Everyone has already said what I've thought. I only can add "Moistest cake ever"??!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHHHHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Anonymous said...

Notice the sticker at the top:
"Moistest cake you've ever tasted!"

Ahem.

Anonymous said...

OK, so it's not just me. Seems everyone saw the same thing I did. Whew!

Fruppi said...

Is it me, or does the less-phallic poop baseball bat also strongly resemble a pick-axe?

Anonymous said...

Moist Irish penis cake, can anyone say Yummy :).

Shari said...

To all you commenters...ROFLMAO!!!!

The Beach Life said...

Is that a poo penis? Yikes?

Anonymous said...

I like how the sticker states "moistest cake" uh, with those poo/penis "bats" i really dont feel the urge to eat this cake..

Jennl

Anonymous said...

I like how the sticker states "moistest cake" uh, with those poo/penis "bats" i really dont feel the urge to eat this cake..

Jennl

Yevah said...

Has anyone noticed that it is even labled, "The moistest cake you've ever tasted?" I mean come on! "tasted!" "Moistest!"..this is one cake you do not want to bring home to the parents...

Anonymous said...

I only had to tilt my head side ways to tell that they were NOT black jelly fish with radioactive uni brows and no eyes! Their tomb stones! You can really see one says RIP if you just tilt your head side ways (Or computer, I would prefer head, but its you mind. -snicker-) Any ways, its a TOMB STONE! For the death of the scribble man! Who turned into a radioactive ghost and is trying to teach the tomb stones how to spell! See what a little head tilt can do? See? Huh?

Angie said...

I've never seen anything but a penis look more like a penis than that bat on the left... dang. What kind of nympho bakery did THAT come from?

Dave Trueb said...

Wacky fallic poo-bats!! My favorite!

Now there is certainly SO very much wrong with this cake... but what about that great label? "The Moistest Cake You've Ever Tasted!"

Yes, its the poo-bats that make it moist. They're fresh.

Anonymous said...

Since when is baseball played with a pickaxe and male genitalia?

DIANE said...

I don't EVEN want to know how it got to be the Moistest Cake Ever.

{{shudders}}

Little Luxuries said...

You know, on that last cake...

The combination of the phallic bat and the "moistest cake you've ever tasted" label is making my mind go places it REALLY doesn't want to go.

Somebody please pass the brain bleach.

darkshines said...

Ah, I see, its ugly because someone has ALREADY tasted it! How else would they know its the moistest one ever? Yeah the poo willies really add to that.

EDIT: "mogishn", as in "get that monstrosity out of mogishn"

Thoracias said...

Stop! OMG...STOP! I can't...breathe...the laughter!
The poo! That HUGE balls (compared to the poo wang!) hahahaha

Nonna Beach said...

I think the funniest thing about this is the label on the package that reads: The Moistest cake...it's cupcakes all glumped together with scary colored frosting, not a cake !

Sharleen said...

Sharleen

"The moistest cake you have ever tasted."

Nice reference to the left...

catholicgirl247 said...

it looks "moistest" i mean, the iceing is shiny.

char said...

Umm. I'm thinking it's baby batter.

Anonymous said...

Is that turd base?

Anonymous said...

Im having a hard time with controlling my laughter! OMG have no idea if its a penis or crap so that makes it ten times better!

Danielle said...

I find it incredible that no one ever catches the sticker on these cake boxes. i used to work at the place where this cake cake from and "moistest" is not a word. I love it.