Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Amercian Way

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

It's Veterans Day here in the U.S.: a day we set aside to honor those who have and are serving in our country's military. There are many fabulous ways to do this.

This is not one of them.

Now, I happen to know that a fair number of military personnel read this blog - a fact I find both humbling and just a teensy bit alarming, since I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery. (Holy Hand Grenade, anyone?) On the other hand, I do so enjoy all the e-mails with the giant "DECLASSIFIED" stamps on them - and I'm pretty sure my coolness quotient went up about 1000% when a guy in uniform asked to have his photo taken with me at our last signing in Atlanta. (Hi, Paul!)

So in your honor, my dear veterans, here are some patriotic cake designs that will surely bring a tear to your eyes.

Because nothing says "America" quite like a dead, blank-eyed dog with a flag stuck in his head. [patting heart] Ah, it gets you right here, doesn't it?

The underline is what really sells it.

Of course today is about you, the troops:

And as "Owl Troops" you deserve "Supott."


Because you are all "Hero's."

And so we "honer" you, our "vetr ans."

Kind of like how we honor the flag, the symbol of this great nation:

Stirring.

No wait, I take that back: this Wreck leaves me shaken, not stirred. [ba dum bump!]

So remember, everyone: thanks to our veterans we have the freedom to live in this great country: the United States...

...of Amercia.

Michael H., Holly F., Tara L. Sara Beth, Nikki G., Adria P., & Tory L., I'm sure the CIA had nothing to do with that.

- Related Wreckage: Taking Liberties
laura said...

Congrats on the coolness points!
Be sure to post that picture sometime!

Emma said...

The "dog" looks like it has blood coming out of it's mouth. Or maybe a blood clot....

Joanne L. said...

And maybe now we should all stand and sing "The White Dot Spangled Banner."

WriteCards said...

Many thanks to all our veterans!

Other than that . . . well, words fail me!

I'm speechless.

Mike Owens said...

The "Supott Owl Toroops" one HAD to have been written by someone who had English as a second language. Or third. That is just so sad on so many levels. Great post today, but it is really sad how many ignorant people there are here. At the same time, that is the great thing about our country, we all have the right to be as ignorant as we want. Seriously though, thank you to all the veterans who have and are serving our country.

Dinah Tate said...

Amercia, that must be where people say "Lord Amercy".

Adrienne said...

That makes me so proud to serve... in Amercia.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Nothing says "God Bless America" like a cake that looks like a flag threw up.

I love this country. Thank you Vets!

Auntie Ashley said...

Too bad they messed up the spelling in the last one. It wasn't too bad looking!

DiPaola Momma said...

You always make me crack up.. now I'm doing it in a more Patreehotic way for Veterans day..BTW I "took the liberty" of linking this over at my MUCH less funny but very heart felt tribute to those who serve and those I served with. Thanks for the giggles.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Aw, that last one almost had it. ALMOST. But I'm glad they missed it.

Mercredi said...

That's a dog? I thought it was a rare breed of blue Wookie.

Jenn said...

"...and they feasted on baboons, and breakfast cereals...."

I paraphrase of course. :)

Jenn

WV: misph - Those are misphelled wrecks if ever there were misphellings.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I thought the dog was a moon-landing tribute that needed a color adjustment. (And I was not getting how that tied in with Veteran's Day!)

Happy Veteran's Day Amercia!

JHill said...

Thank you veterans and all who serve our country in the military!!!!


(Jen, Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two except if thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.)

Redd said...

Hey, Owl Toroops need all the supott they can get! I mean, those field mice aren't going to eat themselves (oh dear, I just had a vision of a owl pellet cake--make it go away!)


Ahem. Yes, thanks to all the brave men and women who have protected their country over the years. All of us, whether celebrating Veterans Day, Remembrance Day or Armistice Day (or any other name given to commemorate the end of WWI) owe a great debt of gratitude.

Sunshine Mom said...

I laughed til I cried reading your comment about the dog! @Emma it really does look like blood coming out of its mouth! Too, too funny.

KarmaPearl said...

That dog is going to haunt my dreams forever.

Ugh.

diddleymaz said...

Armistice Day here but anyone who knows us Brits knows we have a huge sense of humour!So great wrecks ! and keep smiling!
Family WWI story, my Grandad was reported as MIA on the list outside the Post Office leaving my Grandmother fearing the worst. Later that day she answered a knock at the door to see him standing on the doorstep! Knocked out by a shell blast he had been put on a hospital ship were he came around to find himself only a few miles from his seaside town home .Luckily for me he lived until 1981 !

Melissa said...

That last cake was soooo close!

Happy Remembrance Day!

Violet said...

I like how the "Vetr ans" also has "honer" on it too :)

Taylor@myolderbrothers said...

The second one is obviously symbolism!

The blank eyes represent all men being created equal, so the dog is color-blind.

The blue "fur" respresents the blue collar workers that built this country.

The fact that the dog is dead represents the death of... uh... I don't know... disco?

Dedi said...

I think the flag killed that dog.

ROFL.

Anonymous said...

Know what's funny? Technically the "Hero's" one is correct. The apostrophe denotes a left-out letter.

Katie said...

so the amerCIA cake was probably the best cake out of all of them as far as overall layout and design, straight flag, mediocre border, ehh- halfway decent writing.. what more do you want amercia? hahah you gotta love the dead dog staring into space being decapitated by a flag!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....Amercia.
LOL, it has a nice ring to it!

~JD Greenwood
WV: psednedl...I give up *shrug*

Anonymous said...

Great post today, Jen! (Oh, every other day, too!)

@Joanne L.--Haha!!

@diddleymaz-- Thanks for the war story, which I enjoyed a lot. :)

I'd share one from my great uncle, but the ones that stand out aren't repeatable here (not due to violent content, but because they all had to do with shore leave!) Wish I'd been spared the thoughts, myself!

And thank you to our "toroops" everywhere-- you're in our hearts and prayers!

Rhonda said...

They do say that many natural born citizens would fail the citizenship test if they had to apply like immigrants. I think we can safely say that these wreckarators would be shipped out on the first boat home.

Natballs said...

hahahah: "this is not one of them"

Carrie Stuart said...

My husband and I are both veterans, and I have to say we are both honored and humbled by your post today. God Bless Amercia!

TXpi said...

come on, smurfdog roadkill always makes for a great celebratory pastry motif!

Anonymous said...

"Support our Hero's...": I hope that continues on the next cake.


That poor dog looks like it wandered onto one of those awful sticky traps for mice and died. Someone should take the whole thing out in the yard and bury it. Maybe plant a tree to mark the spot, too.


(Did I just say Spot? Ohhh...)



WV: wastoner-- You wouldn't have to call the copy repair guy so often if you didn't wastoner.

J Adams said...

I have shared your blog with so many members of my unit - you make me and many other smile (and sometimes laugh out loud like a crazy person...)

Thank you!

SrA Adams
459th AES, Andrews AFB, MD

Ry and Kris Jones said...

Oh my goodness, I can't stop laughing! You are hilarious!!!

Kristy

S3XinthePantry said...

that dog was beaten to the curb!

And the others (shaking my head -but LOVING your blog!)

Joanne said...

"Because nothing says "America" quite like a dead, blank-eyed dog with a flag stuck in his head. [patting heart] Ah, it gets you right here, doesn't it?"

LMAO *wipes tears from eyes* That killed me! And what does a dead blue mophead of a dog with blank eyes, a prune nose and its tongue sticking out have to do with TODAY? Did the flagpole stuck in its head kill it? How is blue poochicide patriotic?

The other flags are just. so. sad. They even forgot to finish the stripes on the ribbon thing.

But at least most of these got sprinkles, right?

Go Owl Troops! hoo-HOOT!

(What do you supposed owl troops do anyway? Are they like the night vision alarm watch or something?)

Carol said...

Thanks to all our veterans! And thanks, Cake Wrecks, for always making me laugh

Terry Lee said...

tooooo funny!!! love 'em all.

i apologize for getting serious, but my community has been in the grips of shock and grief these last several days.

i am proud to call killeen/fort hood my home ... and i'm proud of each and every one of our precious soldiers who serve and protect us all.

thanks for making us laugh again, jen and john. it truly is the best medicine!

hugs,
terry lee

Anonymous said...

I have never been so proud to be a vetr an of Amercia.

Happy Veterans Day to my fellow veterans.

Joanne said...

oh, and thank you troops and Vets! (Veterans, not veterinarians, even though blue pooch could probably have used one. No offense, animal docs!)

We truly thank you for your service! No matter what these wreckerators did....

Marcy W. said...

I thought the "ribbon" cake could've been good, without the, erm, "owl" tribute. I envision massive flocks of owls in flight, bombing the enemy with poo. Sorry. It was in my head and now it's out. =P


WV - fullyina - I am fullyina state of gratitude for our vets!

Zee said...

I am glad to serve and protect dumb people. Love your site, brings me many smiles.

Betsey said...

Not only is the blue dog puking blood, it's got black poos. It must be ill indeed...

Captcha: dissen - We is dissen dese "cakes".

mooP said...

I'm glad you posted those two wrecks I sent in (the 1st and 7th photos). The best part, they were next to each other at the grocery store. Too bad you didn't post the other two I sent in. Of course, if I find 5 wrecks on the same table at the store, do I get a wreck-yahtzee?

mooP said...

Oh, and those cakes were purchase in a store less than a mile from the White House! You think that they'd get it right in DC of all places!

Trish said...

Looking at those cakes, I have never been more proud to be a Canadian.

Suetois said...

That says "Support Owl Troops"??? I thought it said Boycott Owl Troops.

Sabrina said...

Wow. Yes, your coolness quotient totally went up. Love the flag wrecks, Happy Veterans Day!

Jon and Becky said...

One cake
under frosting
indecipherable
with buttercream
and crusties for all.

Anonymous said...

I like to scroll down slowly to see if I can figure out what's going on with the cakes before I read your comments. That second one really had me stumped--putting the flag atop Iwo Jima? A salute to the Navy with a large ocean wave? Um, a flag waving in the sky? I gave up. Then I read your comment and couldn't stop laughing. What????? (And then Emma's comment about the blood clot had me going again!) I'm sure that vets all over the world are saluting the Dead Blue Dog of Proud Service. Or something.
Thanks as always for the daily laugh.
Proud daughter of two WWII vets!

andygirl said...

Of all the mispellings and deformed animals I see on this site, the thing that always hurts my eyes the most is the misplaced apostrophe! It is NOT THAT HARD, people. C'mon now. *shudder*

Jasini said...

I'm pretty sure the "Supott Owl Troops" one really does say "Our", with odd handwriting. That still leaves the "Supott", though.

Oh, Mandy said...

lol@ Joanne-- you (and of course, Jen!) are cracking me up today!

And @Taylor-- "the death of disco..."*guffaw*

"Amercia" should've tried "the USA" instead-- but at least the last one had better penmanship going for it.

WV: prophs-- "prophs" to whoever wreckported the death of blue today!

Famous Hat said...

Why don't they just make poppy cakes? They could probably even make a dreaded ccc poppy cake look halfway decent, and they wouldn't have to spell anything.

WV: Termitt. What got into the dog cake to make it so saggy.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Where are the flag desecration laws when you need them???

Oh, well...I'm still proud to be an "Amercian".

kadyb said...

Sometimes I've laughed till I cried while reading this blog. Today I just cried. It has been an emotional week. Thank you, troops and veterans everywhere! Kathi

wv: normol - Misspellings on this blog are completely normol and to be expected.

Gary said...

This has got to be, in sum total, the ugliest collection of cakes yet (and ugly giant cookies, and whatever that pockmarked thing with the red-white-and-blue ribbon is).
Apparently, many bakers will spare no hideousness in order to "Supott owl troops."

The melted blue animal with a flag stuck in its head must be trying to send some message, but I'm afraid to speculate on what that message might be.

Anyway, happy Veteran's Day to all Owl Troops, past and present.

Anonymous said...

Because nothing says "America" quite like a dead, blank-eyed dog with a flag stuck in his head. [patting heart] Ah, it gets you right here, doesn't it?

Oh Gawd! No my whole office knows I'm looking at your site. Too freakin funny!

The Spanish Inquisitor said...

"God Bless Amercia" made me lol. Holy Hand Grenade- smooooth. I just watched Holy Grail last night, when I really should have been writing a poem for English.

MarieA said...

here in Canada we are also "honering" our "trops" I hope that blank eyed dog doesn't make his way to a cake near an army base near my favourite man in uniform. ( Navy whites dress even - so swoony) Ahem I digress. That dog has me still spewing coffee and falling out my chair... don't know why.

God Bless our vets and service men and women in both countries... and spare them wreckiness... they have enough to contend with.
Attehn-SHUN - saluting and leaving proud to be Canadian and friend to Americans!

Gary said...

God Bless Amercia, and please, Lord, inspire us to learn to spell.

Michelle said...

not the holy hand grenade of Antioch

E.M. Green said...

Re: 7th down.

I'm proud to live in the great 32 states of America.

Because if you're going to take the time to dot out 32 stars on a cake you should have taken the time to dot out more.

W.V. "bature" A combination of the terms "bat" and "manure." Quite efficient.

Angela said...

Hero's
Thank you, Cake Wrecks, for being here so I have a place to vent about grammatical errors. Frankly, I think my husband is tired of hearing it...lol. I have noticed a growing epidemic in this country. Misused apostrophes, I believe, are going to be the death of me! Ok, maybe not the DEATH of me, but I can certainly picture myself in an insane asylum one day drawing "'s" all over the ceiling.
Why do people think that there must be an apostrophe to add an "s" to a word??
I have one word for those people: Idiocracy.
If you haven't seen the movie yet, rent it today! Our nation is in peril!

Joanne said...

"Jon and Becky said...
One cake
under frosting
indecipherable
with buttercream
and crusties for all."

That was great!
"We pledge allegiance,
to the wreck, of the "united" state's of Amercia.
And to the bakery,
that made the mess,
one cake, under frosting, indecipherable,
with buttercream and (sprinkles) for all."

Thanks for the inspiration, Jon and Becky! and Jen, of course!
(ho'ws my punctuation? :P )

Also, Gary, you might be right. You remind me of Lucca Brazzi's fate in the "Godfather" when they sent the Corleones the dead fish (message: Lucca Brazzi sleeps with the fishes (translation he's dead and dunked).

What COULD a dead blue melting pooch mean? The lapdog/fuzzy slipper/windex drenched mop/rogue- wave-with-a-face sleeps with the flag?"

Does that help? Does that make sense? (no, of course not. that's why it's wrecky. sorry!)

Nikki said...

where are the pics from the atlanta event???
my mother went & i need pictures!!
:D

Nicole said...

Thanks for posting this, guys! You have lots of military spouse readers too :)

Aimerzzz(: said...

These cakes are...
well, words fail me!
And to think the "Amercia" one was so pretty!

Proud to be an Amercian!!!

WV: redpi. I'd rather eat RedPi than some of these cakes :)

Amy said...

Yay! Dead dogs and flag pieces. What a great tribute to the veterans of Amercia! LOL

Happy Veterans Day, everyone!
Amy B-H

Beth said...

This post is going to make me snicker uncontrollably all day!
Loved meeting ya'll at the book signing here in ATL!

Rachel said...

I'm pretty sure some of these cakes count as acts of treason...

mzmclean said...

I thought someone had killed.. and frozen Chewbacca... but I can see it being the severed head of a dog as well... ick

Twirly McSwirl said...

"Those who share my sense of humor shouldn't have access to heavy artillery." Ha!

No, no, the REAL meaning of Veteran's Day is that it is the eve of my birthday!

Yep. All preparations for Twirly Day on Nov 12.

Anonymous said...

great wrecks today(as usual). recently gave the 'cakewrecks' book to my mum for her birthday... the whole family passed it around and took turns guffawing at it, so thanks for that! my grandad was a 'desert rat'(a british soldier stationed in africa) in wwii. feeling patriotic today(both u.k. & u.s.a.).
-helen

capri-chan said...

You know, I can forgive that second-to-last cake for being off by about 17 stars, since people generally aren't going to count as long as it it looks like a lot. I can even forgive the fact that they aren't in the correct pattern.

But they're also missing seven stripes, and they're out of order. Not to mention the star section being just as long as the rest of the flag.

Also, the dead dog cake is horrifying.

Michelle said...

So the "blue dog" looks like BOB from "Monsters vs. Aliens"- a most excellent movie!!

Sally said...

mooP said...
"Oh, and those cakes were purchase in a store less than a mile from the White House!"

So people really do buy these things?

F said...

Why does that underline look alot like 'less than or equal to' the USA. Just so we don't make other countries feel too bad. They might be equal to us. Or might not be. I like a wishy washy nation w/ confidence.

Sheila said...

And in Canada it's remembrance day!

Anna C. Morrison said...

You would think, with the popularity of the TV show Heroes, that they would at least spell that correctly!

Anonymous said...

"I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery."

You make me laugh. Dangerous, indeed!

'Thanks' to all our veterans and active military. You guys rock.

Lujza said...

Mike,

"who had English as a second language. Or third."

It's pretty ridiculous to assume that incorrect spelling can only come from non-native English speakers. For instance, I speak English as a second language, yet I teach it to native speakers who can't write English correctly to save their lives.

msyendor said...

Somehow I don't see the USMC taking on this blue devildog as a mascot. Poor thing.

Marcie said...

Chuckle. Good one. Blue dog comments were especially gut bustin' today.

Angela said...

Wow. Um, yeah, wow. I got nothing else.
Ange

Anonymous said...

Honestly, Jen, the best part about your site isn't the pictures. It's the commentary. Thanks again for all you do to entertain us!

-Julie

Bonnie said...

@ Joanne--But at least most of these got sprinkles, right?---LOL!!!!!

Great post and great comments!

Thanks to all our veterans and active military personnel! You are all fabulous!

~Bonnie B :)

Gnat said...

So by "owl troops" maybe they mean this: http://i908.photobucket.com/albums/ac287/Gnat_2009/owltroops.jpg

Melissa (& Billy) said...

America: Where we support people's freedom to wreck cakes beyond recognition! =D

Seriously, many many thanks to our vets and ones who currently serve. We couldn't wreck in peace and freedom without you!

WV: Redblegu: How the wreckorator mangled "red white and blue".

pinkspope said...

Stephanie in College Station, TX said: Still rolling on the floor! I never cease to be amazed at the wrecks!!

We send our heartfelt thanks to all who served and are serving our country!!

Anonymous said...

@Famous Hat?Yes why don't they make poppy CCCs? It's both relieving but disappointing not seeing wrecks in my local bakery.

Happy Veterans and Remembrance Day!

Matt said...

As a Vet, (Air Force), I do appreciate anyone who takes the time to show us support and appreciation. Even if it is technically ....flawed.

Thank you bakers.

MichelleP said...

Sooo proud to be Canadian right now.

And very proud of our troops as well as those of our southern neighbour.

WV - 'warstat': fitting.

James said...

As a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, this brings a tear to my eye. Not the good kind, mind you.

Haiku Joy said...

Stars? Naw. Blue seashells
warm the cockles of any
patriotic heart.

Anonymous said...

I am proud to live in Amercia. Where people are allowed to be illiterate.

-Steph

MadameNoir said...

As a Navy deployment wife (and a pastry student) I can say thank you for posting these! And I will be sure to let my husband know the people he fights for think they live in Amercia. Wow, that word even hurt to type!

Anonymous said...

I've been singing "God Bless Vespucciland" all this time.

Anonymous said...

Seems like there's some confusion with the wrong kind of vets today! Blue dogs, Owl Troops... still, I am grateful that there were no attempts at eagles that I can determine. That coulda been real messy.

Anonymous said...

The misguided patriotic cakes are always some of the best (I use the term loosely) aren't they? I'm so glad there are at least three holidays per year where we are blessed with them.

The flag on the last one isn't bad. The dog, however, is unspeakably so.

Go Amercia!!! (And thanks troops!)

--kate

Bree said...

What better way to honer our troops and vet rans in Amercia, with blue poop. ('Cause it will happen as the result of eating those cakes).

Wisteria said...

That's no dog, they decapitated Cookie Monster!

flotiste said...

Are you kidding?! I'm in the military and actually did the whole "bless this, O Lord, thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies into tiny bits, in thy mercy" schpiel when I threw my first real grenade.

What did my Sergeant do? He started on the "three shall be the number of the counting" bit. We're a funny bunch! (true story!)

Dan Bradbury said...

The second to last one is either a flag windsock or a Age of Sail naval banner.

Take a look at the Flag cake I made.

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/IMG_0110.jpg

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/IMG_0111.jpg

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/FinishedFlagCake1.jpg

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a212/Isolder74/FinishedFlagcake2.jpg

Anonymous said...

Sounds like something from the Brady Bunch: Amercia! Amercia! Amercia!

Mira8 said...

@Angela: when you are in the rubber room over misused apostrophes, I will be right beside you. It drives me crazy that even people who are intelligent and otherwise good spellers can seemingly not figure out the difference between plural and possessive forms. Glad someone else feels like I do. Stay strong my sister.

My Barbaric Yalp said...

The dead blue dog had me saying something not fit for posting, but it also had me rolling on the floor - at work. Oops.

Anonymous said...

I GOT IT!

Aren't conservative Democrats called "Blue Dogs"?? (Does anyone know where that originated??)

So MAYBE, the blue dog cake is a reference to them. But why the blue dog looks dead is another story....

Gary, Joanne--you may be on to something there. Maybe it's a threat to the blue dog dems....from Pelosi...("vote for this bill or else!") kind of thing. That cake just took on a whole new meaning for me. Yikes. Was this one of the cakes available in DC perchance, mooP?

Lucia Winter said...

I am in Moscow, Russia now adopting a baby girl (i am a American).
Being here is total proof that AMERICA is the GREATEST country in the world.
GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

peaches1111_00 said...

There has GOT TO BE a law against cutting into the American flag...

Dan Bradbury said...

"I'm not sure those who share my twisted sense of humor should have access to heavy artillery."


Let me scare you more. Some of those who might share your humor might be Missileers. They have access to big "scary" Nuculear missiles! Perhaps a few are running Nucular Wessels as well......

joanne said...

never fear, peaches. These wrecks are so off base they can be hardly considered American flags. 30 something stars? 5 stripes? c'mon! The one that comes closest is actually an AMERCIAN flag. so no problem! ;)

KingfisherBlue said...

Is Amercia the opposite of Mercia?

Mixed Media said...

Did anyone else notice the patriotic ribbon cookie (owl troops)also has another word mispelled? It says "supott" in lieu of "support"

Lauren said...

Amercia, Amercia, Gawd shed his grace on MEEEEEE!!! *salootes screwed up icing flag* I LUV this country (one of the few where you can make a spelling joke and not have small appendages mutilated for it), I luv my family of veterans, and I LUV spelling mistrakes!


BTW: Yes, I purposefully made mistakes for humor's sake. Arrr yoo happie now?

Angyla said...

I love how the seventh cake only has 33 stars.