Wednesday, November 18, 2009

All Your Base Are Be Wrong To Us

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I've had a few requests for more sports-related cakes, since I think there was a World Series or something going on at some point in the recent past. (My perception is uncanny, I know. Let's just say my "sporty sense" was tingling.)

So let's see...that's baseball, right? Okey doke. [virtually rifling through photos] Uhhh. Ah! Here we go:

Mmm, this reminds me of that most fragrant of bakery delicacies: the moldy kitchen sponge. And that Christmas tinsel? Flossing WIN.




What's wrong with this baseball diamond? Ah, the answer is in the question, grasshoppah. [nodding sagely] The answer...is in the question.

In fact, most of the "diamonds" on these Wrecks are anything but:

Although frankly, singling out the diamond issue here is a little like complaining there are no in-flight peanuts while the plane is going down.

Now, I never thought I would say this, but...Thank goodness for plastic flotsam!

How else would we know this is an Elmo/baseball kite?

And lastly, this Wreckerator gives us a "rosy outlook" on the sport:

Wow. This may be the first time I've ever hoped someone was colorblind. You know, for his/her own sake.

Natalee S., Mary G., Dawn B., Hannah, & Ashley P., those "baseballs" are terrifying. Hold me?

- Related Wreckage: Sporty Spice Cakes

NOTE: No, you're not losing your mind; two of these Wrecks have been posted before. Oopsie. I was, uh, testing your memory. Yeah. That's it.
(On the other hand, perhaps you are losing your mind, and only think you're reading this right now.
Have you considered that? Hmmm?)
Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

You know what it took after reading your blog FOREVER to actually get me to comment?! Mayhap it was the FUNNIEST FREAKING title EVAR. OMG, so funny...

*wipes tears*

alisaz said...

Loving "all your base, all your base, all your base are belong to us" references!!! I'm not a fan of baseball but even I can spot these wrecks from the outfield! Get it? 'Cause it's far? Ok... I'll go sit in the corner and think about what I just did...

Gary said...

On Steven's birthday cake, what's with the big nails, with a random blood stain to right of each nail? Does Steven have Stigmata?

Mike Owens said...

Lol, I love the "complaining about no in-flight peanuts when the plane is going down" comment. Priceless.

WV: prspated. The cakes are horrible wrecks, but I am sure the wreckerator prspated trying to get them done in time.

Mindy said...

Move Zig!

Katie said...

Haha, the funniest part was the title!

Stephanie said...

Umm... yikes?

Cowgirl@Heart said...

Holy crap, am I the first to comment? That second one looks like they started making a pool table and then changed to baseball midway. And well I wondered if your title was a slight reference to Homestarrunner?

Terry Lee said...

and it's one! two! three strikes you're out at the old. ball. game.

go team cake wrecks!

Anonymous said...

The children. Won't somebody please think of the children?????

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Man. Some people really don't know what a diamond shape is.

JerseyEMT21 said...

I give major props for the "All your base..." That and the moldy cake...

Keeffer said...

first cake- take the baseball stuff off it and you could pretend it was a dinosaur dig cake.

second cake- maybe pretend it was for some masonic group? those could look like digging utensils on the sides.

third cake- looks more like a cricket oval.

fourth cake- we recently learned on the big bang theory that people consider kite flying a sport (trying to take down other kites in teams.)

fifth cake- there's no excuse for that.

and the title!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I like the first cake, the little dude on it looks like he's fallen down and is shielding his face/crawling away from the invading wreckerator or alien life form.

-KP

Alexandra said...

It's like the people who decorated those cakes had never, ever seen any sort of baseball field in their entire lives.

jengersnap said...

Captain: "Somebody set us up the bomb!"

Time to blow these wrecks to smithereens! Love how the one wrecker lasso'ed up the whole team in their, uh, "diamond"

Fluffy Cow said...

Today class... is all about the title. Period.

Gary said...

All your base ...
http://video.google.com/videosearch?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1R2GGLL_en&q=all+your+base+are+belong+to+us&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=4xQES8moAdSFnAf3q8Bm&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CCQQqwQwAw#

Goof said...

I made a baseball themed cake for my daughter when she turned 3 years ago. Of course it was lame that I uses green candy sprinkles for grass but I'm pretty sure I did a decent job on the baseball diamond shape.


http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e349/Goofball_Lt_G/Treats/HighRes_WF05B031869797121.jpg

Dennis said...

I've never seen baseballs wearing crowns of thorns before. I think I'll leave the religious puns alone.

Anonymous said...

How un-American! Who in America doesn't know what a Baseball diamond looks like?

Kelly said...

Sports and an All Your Base reference? Your wit strikes again, Jen! LOVING it!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that the "Kevin" cake is a professional wreck...

Ava Lind said...

I lost my coffee. My coffee is all gone. It's dripping from my monitor and it's all your fault; your incredible title ruined my morning coffee, alas, alas! =)

Kate said...

I think the Steven cake is actually supposed to be the Harvard logo.

Amy said...

Wow. Those are interestingly shaped diamonds for sure!

Amy B-H

Kate said...

As far as I'm concerned, any cake with Elmo on it is already wreck-tastic. But I'm with all the other geeks out there who say the best part of this post is the header. Will have the remixed "All your base" in my head all day now.

jeni said...

Okay, I have to give you props for managing to exceed the nerd quotient with your "All your base" reference in a sports-themed post! Kudos!

diddleymaz said...

Never could understand all the fuss about Rounders.

kenkire said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

You know what it took after reading your blog FOREVER to actually get me to comment?! Mayhap it was the FUNNIEST FREAKING title EVAR. OMG, so funny...

*wipes tears*


I concur. That made my boyfriend look at my like I was a madwoman on a bender....probably becouse I laughed like one over this.

LaurenH said...

Am I crazy (OK, I know the answer to that part) or in the first one does it look like there's a skeleton crawling up from the ground under the pitcher? I guess that's what you get for playing baseball in notoriously haunted graveyards...or maybe it's a Mets fan

Anyway, assuming there's home plate under the label, at least the first one got the diamond shape down. Umm...yay?

Anonymous said...

I think that the condoms next to the "diamond" take the cake! :)

Tigerwolf said...

The first game of the Sesame Street Fighting Elmos at Quicksand Flats Park was, sadly, also their last.

^..^

me said...

ROFL! The title, the "like complaining there are no in-flight peanuts while the plane is going down" line.. it's too much, please make it stop!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

I don't like the looks of those baseball bats on the 2nd cake...0_o

The Elmo heads would frighten a child. "Mommy, why did they bury Elmo in the baseball diamond???"

I really dislike airbrushing on cakes and the first cake is just another example of why. Moldy cake, anyone? *shudder*

And I STILL laugh at AYB.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItugh-fFgg

FOR GREAT JUSTICE!

Jimmy said...

Until I saw the four-- count 'em: FOUR-- little baseballs on the first cake, I thought it was depicting "Swamp Thing."

And if your cake shows the Bermuda Triangle combined with a pickaxe or two,well...sounds like bad news is on the way, Steven.


wv: eurica-- Eurica! Looks like Elmo frosted his own cake!

Virginia said...

I love the title! It too brought me out of the woodwork to comment.

Also, the magical combination theme cake of baseball, christmas, poo and moldy kitchen sponge.

Mmm... appetizing.

Erin said...

It's probably just me, but the second cake reminds me of Harvard's insignia (with an extra book).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Harvard_Wreath_Logo_1.svg

Shalen said...

Good one. The "hold me" line is used in the book I just bought from you, but c'mon. It's a GOOD line.

Also a good book. I read it twice yesterday after tearing it out of the Amazon.com cardboard wrapper thingy. I'll be right there with you if another one comes out. :)

joanne said...

*faceslap* oh, where to begin?

Gotta love that wonky oval. where the heck are the bases? There's only 2. Cracked icing, baby blue trim. It looks like the batter is getting ready to defend himself in a tousle on the golf course against the gang of three! Nice how they wrote Birthday right over the base and Kevin's name straddles the base line/curve.

Elmo baseball kite--is that a standard cake? it looks ready to be written on. why would Elmo heads and baseballs be a standard cake? at least there's sprinkles....although they're badly sprinkled. and again with the icky blue trim.

The last one--if it weren't for the Frankenstein baseballs with angry stitching, I would not have guessed this was a baseball cake. Not with pink bases with white roses and blue base lines on a field of poo brown. I don't know WHAT it would be. And again, blue trim. Is it to signify this is a "boy" cake? these blues don't match anything!

#2: nails and a poo triangle with dirty marshmallows. I'm stumped for words.

#1: moldy green is my favorite! look, it's toxic. The players have fled and the one that remains has keeled over. Unless he's cowering in terror from the attack of the giant baseballs, fearing he'll be battered and tied up with xmas ribbon. But hey, at least the poo brown trim isn't blue!

Anonymous said...

Tigerwolf said...
"The first game of the Sesame Street Fighting Elmos at Quicksand Flats Park was, sadly, also their last."

HILARIOUS!! What an image!

Gary said...
"On Steven's birthday cake, what's with the big nails, with a random blood stain to right of each nail? Does Steven have Stigmata?" *snicker*

@Keefer and Dennis--LOL!

Rattlesnake said...

I LOL'd at the Elmo heads.

Kristina said...

Spring forth my burly protector and save me!

Oh, Mandy said...

@Tigerwolf-- I missed the word "Sesame" on first read, and saw only "Street Fighting Elmos..." lol

@joanne-- If that IS a standard cake, I think we all can think of a few things to write on it! Ha!

Amber said...

Erin, I came in here to say exactly what you said. The second cake is clearly the Harvard Logo.

http://www.wpafb.af.mil/shared/media/ggallery/webgraphic/AFG-070828-006.jpg

I've been living in Boston too long...

Sexy Sadie said...

Is it weird that I think the Elmo one is cute?

D.B. Echo said...

I think Steven's cake has the coded message "Screwball / Jolly Green Giant's Bikini Briefs / Screwball."

I find the Elmo one very disturbing.

Morgan the Muse said...

That is an awesome title for this post. I love you and your nerdy ways.

Speaking of... more Doctor Who? As long as they are not like, you know, incredibly heart-breaking. Much appreciated.

Brenda said...

Anybody remember Madballs?

feathergirl said...

The baseball triangle merely points out that the third base is the charm.

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

I kept going "Wow that cake is horrible!" Then go to the next one: "....OK what sport is that now?" and by the end I realised that... they were ALL the same sport. They were just terrible. That just proves how bad they are.

SyracuseWolvrine said...

On Kevin's cake, is that a cricket bat that he's holding? If so, the "only has 2 bases" thing makes a bit more sense, but the bases are in the wrong place to be a cricket pitch. cricket field? cricket green? what exactly is it called, anyways?

Carrot Jockey said...

Elmo baseball is epic. I'm so gonna order this one.

diddleymaz said...

Its a ground ,with a pitch, and the strip is the Wicket.

writtenwyrdd said...

Best pun evahr award to the title of this post.

the Provident Woman said...

They have ruined a sport I love.

Lauren said...

I remember the "rose/baseball" cake from before. And how it burned my retinas the first time.

Thanks.

And I agree that this is one of my favorite titles. =)

Bibi said...

Good news for the wreckerator of the first cake, they're actually pretty good at making icing bruises.

Shelley said...

I read this section yesterday and was so overwhelmed by the cakes themselves that I didn't notice the title until today when I checked for the newest post. AWESOME is all I have to say.

Michelle said...

The Elmo one is kind of cute... looks like the one in the bottom right is eating the baseball

Elmo: nomnomnomnom!

emily michelle said...

@LaurenH: I see it! I see the skeleton! . . . which means I'm now going to have nightmares about that first cake.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Oh man...something about green on baked goods that just does not work most of the time. And doesnt at all here!

Yee-uk!

Sora A.K. said...

Uh, well... *tries to think of something positive* The lines on the last one look really straight? ^_^;

"Complaining there are no in-flight peanuts while the plane is going down"? Why do I feel like I've actually seen that (or something similar to it) somewhere?

prescottsk said...

Why, oh why, are they drawing baseball bats with testicles on them?