Am I right, Christin C.?
What's that? Ah, Robyn N. wants me to up the ante! Ok, how about a horse/cow mash-up cupcake cake?
No matter where you go, that eye will be watching - aaaallllways waaatching....Check out the icing depth, too; most impressive.
Oh, but look! We have another contender entering the ring!
That thar's a mighty small pho-to for such a gee-gantic Wreck, Brio. Yeehaw! This buckaroo may only work out his front legs, but them fillies shore don't complain. (This concludes my attempt at a Texas drawl. Y'all.)Allison's trying to get ahead (get it? A head?) with this sporty specimen:
Heh. That startled expression makes him look like he just inhaled that baseball Hoover-style.
But the undisputed winner has to be this one from Celeritas:
"Hey mister, why the long face?"Ahahahah!
Next time I'll tell ya the one about the bartender and the grasshopper.
You would think that every horse head cake would come served on a pillow, though, wouldn't you?
Oh, wait - looks like I spoke too soon:
Ewww. I'm all for movie references, Erin M., but that's definitely an offer I can refuse.
NOTE: If this post looks familiar, there's a reason for that. And if it doesn't, that means you don't check CW first thing every morning, and should be ashamed of yourself. Hmph. Call yourself a Wreckie, do you? Where's your sense of Wrecky loyalty? Where's your pride? Where's the frickin' remote? (Seriously, I lost it. Have you seen it?)
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154 comments | Post a Comment
I have no words.
The last one was very well executed......Pa Rum Pum! LOL
That last one is pretty nice otherwise. The subject matter is just off.
The fugly crossovers, myself included, will love this post!
Is it me, or does the first one kind of resemble Alf?
http://leastlikelytoblog.wordpress.com/
you have to admit....that last one is done quite well...aside from the blood and the tongue hanging out. but really. it actually looks like a horse. eek.
That fist one looks like Charlie Horse from the Lamb Chop series. Now THAT'S disturbing!
That second to last one looks like a brown chili pepper with a freckle.
And the first one looks like he was really "pooped out" Pah Rum Pum!!!! again....LOL
er...the first cake looks like an horrible genetic experiment involving a pig, a horse and Hungry that went unspeakably awry.
Oh my god, the last cake is so messed up. . . I think I puked in my mouth a little.
All of these cakes look terrible!
I am so impressed that they include a tongue in the Godfather horse cake!!!
Millie x
In light of the recent tragedy in South Florida, this is kind of sad.
That last one is actually pretty nice...except for the horrifying fact that it is a bloody, decapitated head.
What is wrong with people?
Ugh, Jen! The timing on these is awful given the horrible horse die-off in Florida this week.
Do you think the person receiving the Godfather cake got the subtle hint the cake giver was going for?
yeah decapitated horses.
Maybe someone works for a pharmaceutical campony and that's the left over from some animal testing
Uh, I know this is a family site but isn't the third horse down a little too... uhm anatomically drawn? Is it just me?
Also the baseball one... ok I'm just gonna say it, it looks like he has a ball gag in his mouth.
These cakes are disturbing.
The long face one, if decorated with green frosting instead, could make an awesome jalepeno pepper...
Yeah, I'd love the last one, if it weren't for the blood and all.
haha, love it, even if they are wrecks it reminds me of every birthday I ever had.
Colored Cutting Horses
Wow. Those were.....um.....interesting. The last one was pretty artistic. But I'm not sure I want to cut into it - or wake up next to it! =)
The last one would make a great divorce cake. To send to your ex.
Hahahaha! That last one was pretty awesome :)
I can still feel that weird ones eyes on me... they really ARE watching me always! :|
The first one reeeeaaallly makes me want to go up in my parents' attic and see if i can find my Play-Doh Barber Shop.
On the second one, obviously there was simply a miscommunication: the buyer said "I really want detail on the eye of the horse" but the wreckerator accidentaly jotted down "detailed Eye of Horus".
Um... is it just me but does the third one look like it is... a little "buxom", but the top of the "leg" in the back looks like a... obviously this horse is on too many steroids.
I'm going to refrain from commenting on the fourth. Too. Many. Naughty. Thoughts.
I thought the fifth was Joe Camel.
And finally the Godfather Horse... that's just freakin' badass. Tongue and all- bra-VO decorator!!
Long face looks like a jalapeno.
I was thinking the same as a couple others...the first one looks like Alf! The second to last one looks more like an anteater than a horse though. I'm pretty sure I never want to see another horse cake as long as I live.
well, besides being creepy, that last one wasn't too badly done. But is definitely creepy.
Hey!! That one with the baseball is from that kid's book, "The Horse That Played Center Field" - I'm sure of it!! {blush} I'm so happy I'm not the only nerd who loved that book. (Unless I'm wrong and it's a reference to something else. In that case... I, er, didn't love that book AT ALL...)
How do you even put that much icing on a set of cupcakes??? That's like a 2inch depth on the cow cake!
On the first cake, I'd have to say the best part is that his pink little tongue is sticking out. Cake #2 looks like it was created by Napoleon Dynamite; was the decorator Napoleon? Just curious.
These cakes are horrific.
Oh yeah, and I Have to mention...that "long face" reference is not a horse, but it is, in fact, an ant eater. I'm sure of it.
The first horse looks like he has canned cafeteria spaghetti as a mane and tail. Tomato sauce and chocolate frosting - YUM!
Mister Long Face horse looks like the rest of his face might be submerged in a lake of milk. He would be my bet to win by a nose!
My daughter would be traumatized by this topic! Must cover her eyes if she comes near.
Shudder
I thought the "jalapeno" one was a tapir...
WHY would a horse be eating a baseball is only one of my questions???
#5 is what happens when an facehugger get hold of a horse and impregnates it. Can't you just see those ginormous metal teeth coming out of that one?
My Godfather references need some reworking....
the gelding bus from FOTHD should be arriving for all of them except the last one.
As Judy said..it is "very well executed"
wv chmen..."men, chmen, who needs 'em". (me when something in the house breaks that's who>)
Re: poor timing - take another post and sub it in, then run this one again a few weeks later, with an added note.
The Wrecks are worth discussing, just maybe not right now.
hmmm is it just me or does the second-last resemble an anteater?
All those CCC horse legs made me think of art class in elementary school.
I am amused by all the ALF comments because Wilton released an ALF pan, complete with plastic face plate, in 1988. (And even nerdier, I own one.)
The long face "Happy Birthday, Patty" one looks to me very much like Brian Froud's illustration of a kelpie ... a kelpie being a shape-shifting water spirit that appears as horse and drowns those who try to ride it.
yay the horses are back! I posted the link to a few friends the first time around and they were all 'hey there arent any horses there'
Oh my gosh, that last one is incredibly disturbing. What's really sad is that it's actually a well done horse head - if only that's all it was.
Yeah I check first thing I the morning every morning,so I remember.
Weird, though, Who eats these things? Tell me that much, and the world's problems are solved!
the second to last one looks like something from the dark crystal
Cake Wrecks is one of my go to sites every morning so I was a bit veklempt when I saw this post. A few seconds later, my brain kicked into gear and I got it.
Just in time for the Kentucky Derby!
Hey, since the Kentucky Derby is this weekend the timing of this post seems even more apropos than before. I think. :O)
I think my favorite is the baseball one. A wreck, and so funny at the same time! "What? I thought this was a giant sugar cube!"
The second one is just horrifying. Were it not for the eyelashes, I'd swear an empty socket was staring back at me. The last one is very well done......just, not something I would serve unless it was for Halloween.
Just in time for Derby! (Happy Oaks Day!)
So wrong (that first one looks like decorated poop, I'm sorry to say), yet so funny!
I think the long face one looks more like a camel...or an anteater
My Avatar LOVES this last one. Not sure why...
As for me, however, I LOVE that first horseycake. Ridden to exhaustion in some B western, the sheer weight of the frosting mane and tail just were simply too much to carry through the Sonoran desert.
www.captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com
The one from Celeritas looks like a dust buster covered in frosting.
I just want to know what they made the horse hair on the last one out of? Eeeww, it actually looks like hair.
I thought I was in a time warp. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
Seriously, how do they manage to get the eyes to be that creepy? Eek!
I am a true Wreckie because Cake Wrecks is the first site I check every morning!
When this post was first published, I had every intention of emailing it to my sister because my niece loves horses. Now I can finally do just that!
Jen, you're freaking hilarious!
REposted just in time for the Kentucky Derby (http://www.kentuckyderby.com/2009/) :-)
I have to admit that the first time this got posted I thought it was because of the Derby. But then in my family the Derby is second biggest holiday of the year (after Christmas).
Just in time for the Derby!!!!
Seriously, these are horrible on SO many levels! But hilarious!
Oh, you guys, I love you to tiny little pieces. (Check your site every morning, first thing! ;-)
Tomorrow's my irthday, and I'm so hoping for a wreck! And a PONY. Oh, and sprinkles. If I'm really lucky, maybe the local grocery store will provide all three in one. Because if there's one thing these horse cakes lack, it's inappropriate sprinkles.
Oh weird. I dreamt about loosing my remote last night... I wonder if this is a sign?
"Comments Deleted!"
Exponentially, Cake Wrecks
drama is growing.
wv: mericul. This blog is a blessed mericul to me, a beacon in my humdrum life.
The "long face" one reminds me of H.R. Giger's Alien.....
I'm so glad you put these up for Derby Weekend! EXCELLENT!
The first one might've been a pig or a bulldog before they added the mane and tail.
That third one seems to have a large wing attached to his posterior. And uh, I'm gonna withold my thoughts on his regrettably dangling underdeveloped left back leg.
Thanks for bringing this wreck back. ;-)
I love any cake that references a classic movie, and the Godfather horse cake just may be going on my top 10 list.
i actually REALLY like the horse headon the pillow!!
I think it's the tongue that makes it a winner for me :D
I don't know if anyone's said this yet, but I can't help saying about the one you call a cross between a cow and a horse, there are horses with spots like that. They're called piebald, I believe.
-Angie
<3 the Godfather cake. Is it too much that I was sort of hoping for a Tin Drum horse cake?
Long face horse definately looks more like an anteater!
HUH! Who ordered these cakes...the mob?! What kind of "family" would actually put these on the table and say "Dig in". And which part do you cut first without a lot of tears and drama..."No mummy don't cut the horse's head off!" WAHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna go and eat pie now.
Gee this all looks FAMILIAR>...
and I still have just 1 word:
Ew.
You know, that last cakewreck would actually look pretty, if it didn't have SPLATTERED BLOOD all over the neck! *gag*
I hope my sister doesn't see this post today. Horses are her life.
hey guys.. ease up on Jen....
she posted earlier about the polo thing in FL, but remember this weekend is Derby (and folks in KY started partying weeks ago). I think this is the time to post equine wrecks..
if i missed the memo.. why are so many posts getting deleted in the past few days??
In response to Mai
"HUH! Who ordered these cakes...the mob?! What kind of "family" would actually put these on the table and say "Dig in". And which part do you cut first without a lot of tears and drama..."No mummy don't cut the horse's head off!" WAHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna go and eat pie now."
A little off topic....
When my niece was two we got a horse pinyata for her birthday party. A couple of swings in,and the body left the head dangling on the rope Had a barn full of crying children in minutes, and my niece was SO tramatized...still have pictures of her and her tear streaked face!! I'm glad we didn't do a horse cake!
you should do a swine flu-related entry. something about dead pigs.
The third one, with the manly chest, is bothering me. Yes, I know that's suppose to be the inside of the off leg there, but being a stallion owner I must say it looks more like he's well endowed.
Of course, in that case the testosterone could explain the chest.
WV - handeds. Beware he who handeds you a horsehead on a pillow...
Is it just me, or does the icing on the Godfather cake look plastic?
Also, does anyone else get mad when they check Cakewrecks first thing in the morning and it's not updated yet?
That last cake makes me want to host a Godfather themed party... Must send to friend whose husband does an exceptional Don Corleone impression.
And despite the wrecky cakes, my cravings for cake with frosting has increased exponentially since I started following this blog.
I'm pretty sure the "cow-horse" was supposed to be a paint (a commenter named a colour pattern of paint- piebald.) With that in mind it looks more like the creation of a 7year old horse crazed little girl (much like I would have done at that age)
So, so, so, so wrong.
I can not imagine what compels people to want to put stuff like this in their mouths.
Although, I would have an easier time eating some of these creations than some of those shower cakes. *shudder*
oh dear. o_O
the first one was sad and the last one was just...horrible.
I think I'd rather have a cake of old Don Corleon's face than a severed horse head. The long face cake looks like something I've seen at the zoo. I think someone mentioned a tapir. Yes, that's it. A severed tapir head.
Also, ew...the scary eye looks like a cockroach.
I do check it first thing in the morning. It's not my fault that my time zone is 2nd to last in the 24-hour spectrum!
Your remote is probably deep in the couch cushions. That's where we usually find it!
Still too soon.
I like the concept of this blog and much of the writing, but you tend to make poor choices with the content. First the birthday cake of a baby that passed away and now this.
Shame.
Oh...my...I don't have words for that first one...threw me right back to when our pony died when I was a child.
Since Saturday is the Kentucky Derby, perhaps the red stuff around the horse's neck is supposed to be roses...like the drpe of roses placed around the winner's neck? Your blog rocks!
The Godfather cake is hilariously amazing, b/c it's done so well. Except, I didn't think the one in the movie had it's tongue hanging out. LOL
The horse on steroids must be quite the "stud", and the long face made me think of something else, but I'll just say "pickle."
~Amy B
PS; Jen, I know you're not making light of the horse tragedy in FL. It's over and nothing could be done. Wreck on!
Yikes.... last one is SCARY!!
I love your blog!!! It's great! I just hope to never see one of my cakes on your list :)
www.mycreativeway.blogspot.com
That last-but-one cake looks less like a horse than an aardvark.
The first one looks like a frosted Spam loaf to me. *shudder*
WV: reallu. Reallu? Yes, reallu!
The last one makes me want to vomit.
Those are hella gross.
It's not like there can't be a decent horse type cake, either. I have a carousel horsie pan by Wilton, and there was a rocking horse one, too. I think they're both no longer made, but there's always ebay. I use the carousel horsie for baby showers.
Melissa said...
What is bad is that the last one is the best one rendered uh... sort of... yea... nevermind...
Is it me or does the first one look more like a pig than a horse with a vibrant hair do?
The third one is pretty good. At least, it looks good enough to eat! =D
Omg I didn't see the little bits protruding from the third one. O_O I take my comment back on the third one, it does NOT look good enough to eat. *is horrorstruck*
Dear Anonymous,
As always, I started writing a long response to your comment and promptly deleted it.
I ask that you remember just a few things:
1. Jen makes the call on what gets posted on Cake Wrecks.
2. We love and value our readers and encourage you to comment and give your suggestions.
3. Jen reads all of the comments and tends to take them to heart. If you are being mean to Jen in an anonymous comment, know that you are being mean DIRECTLY to Jen.
4. You are free not to read the blog.
Thank you for your criticism. Somehow I know that you will be back on the board to make sure your negative comment got published.
john
The one with the loooong face is freakin horrible!!!
The last one... YIKES... scary!
I love your blog, IT'S GREAT, but hope to never see one of my cakes on your list :)
www.mycreativeway.blogspot.com
Square, joints akilter,
Leafy tongue . . . let's just pray there's
cake inside that head.
wv: dersi
I dersi there's some funny equine cakey wreckerators out there . . .
Mr. Short legs must be a heavy smoker. His barrel chest obviously indicates emphysema!
And the first head cake . . . it just scares me. Way, way more than the Godfather one.
the "long-faced" one, looks just like a man's privates covered in chocolate WITH EYES!
Ewwww
I can't see how could anyone eat that.
I hope I don't offend anyone or get deleted... I certainly tried to put it in the most educated way possible.
Why to go John! Jen you rock , I love your blog! I can only imagine some people have never seen The Godfather.
"Just when I thought I was out....they pull me back in."
And I'm sorry but Patty's cake (pattycake?) reminds me too much of Artax...
wv: thshis. Thshis birthday cake.
1. I was not aware that so many people never saw The Godfather. Or even heard about the horse head scene secondhand.
2. Anon- The MOTHER of sweet baby James ASKED Jen to show the pics of his birthday party. Should they not want to share their beloved child's birthday?
3. Don't be mean to Jen.
MAN! that last one is SO disturbing! Who Would Order A Cake like that??
Actually I do check cake wrecks first thing every morning. Trouble is here in Australia our mornings are some other time of the day for you, not knowing where you're from I'm guessing it's last night where you are. Or yesterday afternoon. :D
I'm sorry you've been getting negative comments, Jen. I absolutely love this blog, and can't go a day without reading it.
I want to hear the joke about the bartender and the grasshopper.
Tell me that one and I'll tell you the one about the bartender and the duck.
i love the god father reference cake..it's still is beautifully made ..or im very prgnant and tired... hum...
That second to last one looks suspiciously like a frosted eggplant. Does it not?
i love the godfather cake, but i am italian, yanno?
As an add on to John. You are such the gentleman to defend Jen. It is clear you care very much about her. I loved your irthday entries. True pun-ishment for all those clueless ep**t commentators. May you and Jen have many happy years together.
-WM
To anonymous who thinks Jen makes poor choices, the same comment can be made about you. Don't read the blog if you don't like it. Personally, I was greatly moved by the Sweet Baby James story and find the horse cakes horribly amusing and timely given the Derby. I read this blog everyday and it never ceases to bring a smile. THANK YOU Cake Wrecks! You're a wonderful source of humor and inspiration!
-WM
I'm not sure if this succeeded in getting posted, so I'm sending it again, just in case.
That is why you should keep your friends close and enemies closer.
The second last one looks like an ant eater!
Ryan said. "That second to last one looks like a brown chili pepper with a freckle.'
ON A STEECK! *LMAO*
wv aninvel....I wanted to post "on a steeek" earlier.
Jen, head back to the barn. After working so hard on these dead-on comments, you must be exhausted!
Friggin' hilarious!
Fyrefrog said I want to hear the joke about the bartender and the grasshopper. Tell me that one and I'll tell you the one about the bartender and the duck.
So a grasshopper walked into a bar, and the bartender said "Wow, you're really famous around here. In fact, we even have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper said "Really? You have a drink called Steve?" (Sorry to inflict that joke on you all.)
I love this blog so much, I want to hug it every morning!
I was looking over Saturday's contributions and scrolled too far to see the re-run of the horses, and noticed something...does that third horse have....a "package"?!? eep!
Have you checked in the fridge or on the bathroom floor next to the toilet? That's where my remote gets lost.
That last one looks like an ant eater! Hahahahaha!
The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be.
(ps: hope no one else has used that one, sorry, I'm not going to check through 137 comments!)
animals splat on the floor... ha ha... these decorators always succumb to gravity.
i am already having nightmarish images from the decapitated head.
Hell's bells,those things are...ugh. Justugh. The CCC one is scary. I kind of hate to admit this, but I like the Godfather one. It's a really well done cake, just a very poor choice of subject. The horse with the baseball made me laugh. Poor thing looks like it was just out in the pasture minding it's own business when some stupid kid smashed a home run into it's face.
I do check first thing every morning at work... before my e-mail or coffee! I heart this blog!
sorry dudes,
this is wrong
Perfect timing for the Derby! LMAO!
The second last one reminds me of Artax!
Dear John,
I mill note your response and remember it.
Please be assured that I am not being mean. I am not degrading her or insulting her talent. I am expressing my sincere reaction to this particular posting and some past postings.
Overall, I enjoy this blog and I don't think I should stop reading it because the content is occasionally in poor taste.
Perhaps Jen doesn't realize that her choices are, at times, offensive.
As a writer, I'm sure she could benefit from hearing honest feedback. Whether she takes it personally or not is her business, not mine. Of course she has the right to do as she sees fit and I have the obligation to respond as I see fit.
Happy Trails,
Anonymous
Thanks, Jakie31337! As promised:
A duck walks into a bar, walked up to the bartender and says, "Got a grape?"
The bartender says, "No, we don't serve grapes here. Get out." The duck leaves. The next day the duck returns to the bar.
"Got a grape?"
"I told you yesterday we don't serve grapes. Get out!" The duck leaves. The next day the duck returns to the bar.
"Got a grape?"
"Listen, duck. I told you yesterday and the day before that, we don't server grapes! Now get out, and if you ask me that again I'm gonna nail your foot to the floor!" The duck leaves.
The next day the duck returns to the bar, walks up to the bartenders and says, "Got a nail?"
The bartender, relieved, but puzzled, says, "...no.."
"Got a grape?"
(Fyrefrog bows and tries to sneak out of the room without getting hurt)
My brother is a Silent Hill video games fan, when he saw the bloody head of the horse cake he said: see, and you thought a zombie nurse would be too much!
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y203/betterthanyou69/turdbeast.jpg
That is all I can think of at the long faced one :x
I'm rather of the opinion that the second to last pic looks like an ant-eater.
Okay, is it just me or does the "why the long face" one remind anyone of Antibus from Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital when he's in anteater form?
I love this dead horse cake...this is exactly what I'm looking for. I'm having a gangster party & was thinking about a cake just like this,but to have one made is $350.00.Now all I have to do is figure out how to do it...lol
Roni
I have not laughed this hard in ages. I was crying!!!! The creepy eye, the one with "special" legs, and the one that looks like an anteater. I love this post sooo so so so so much! Thank you for making my day!!! :)
Is it just me, or does that "long face" look like a brown jalapeno?
the CCC wasn't as wrecky as they usually are
i would like to make a suggestion. you should put the comments on a separate page so that it doesnt take so long to load each time. Perhaps my computer contributes to the excessive load time as well. by the way---this website is amazing---it has amused me for hours on end...thank you for that