Friday, April 3, 2009

Fear Factor, CW Style

Friday, April 3, 2009

Eons ago when the show Fear Factor first came out, I discovered something about myself: I have an extremely sympathetic gag reflex. Yep. Show me a video of someone eating yak brains, and I want to...well, yak.

Imagine how much better the show would have been, though, if they'd substituted the following cakes for the gross foods challenge. It wouldn't have been that much easier on the contestants, and seeing their expressions when they got a pleasant surprise as opposed to a sticky/wriggly one would have been awesome.

Oh, and in case this intro hasn't been warning enough, guys, here's a tip: PUT THE FOOD DOWN. AND THE COFFEE. AND THAT PRICELESS MING DYNASTY VASE. (Dude, what are you doing carrying that around, anyway?)


First up, here's looking at ewe, kid.

Step right up! No need to be sheepish; this cake is a shear delight!

Eva G., for some reason the phrase "bubblegum tongue" from that John Mayer song keeps coming to mind. (And now every time you hear that song, you will think of this cake. That is my gift to you. [bowing])


Or if you'd prefer to live high on the hog, you can always pig out on this guy:


Looks like someone brought home the bacon. Hey Cattie P., way to ham it up!


Hey, where are you all going? I'm not done yet! Ok, ok, no more puns - promise.


This one looks kinda crunchy:

Stephanie N., I don't care how artistically done this sucker is - I'd still stomp on him in a pinch. (Assuming he was less than an inch long, of course. Otherwise, Jooooohhn!!!)


And lastly, let's finish up with a little seafood. (Although for some of you, this will mean seeing all the food you ate for breakfast.)


[lower lip trembling] Must. Keep. Swallowing.

From the short bursts of eye contact I was able to make with this guy before the dry heaving began, I think I decided it was a catfish. And as for those green things - well, it helps me to keep the bile at bay if I tell myself they're grapes. So we're going with that, ok, Joanna B.? Don't bother telling me they're fish eggs, or catfish brains, or the prepubescent larvae of a water-dwelling grindylow: honestly, I don't want to hear it.
The Courteous Chihuahua said...

The last one actually made my bottom gurgle.

Trevor said...

Ewwww. The catfish one, I thought those WERE grapes. I wondered why someone would put grapes on a fish cake, then I read your comments and... YUCK!

You know, that big head was shockingly detailed. If they could do that kind of work, why couldn't they make an apple instead of using a strawberry, hmm?

joyce said...

Grapes. Looks like grapes to me. I did not know fish eat grapes. Pretty purple fish, but as a cake? Ewww. No thanks.

And I count over 62 candles surrounding the lobster crunchy cake. Maybe they were going to smoke the cake? or broil it?

Half Assed Kitchen said...

The goat head looks like it was smothered in paste. Which might appeal to a few six-year-old boys, I guess, but not to me.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Maria said...

that sheep.

will haunt me.

while i sleep.

i demand you pay for the psychological damage that has occurred as well as the body guard i will need every night to check under the bed to make sure it's not there.

waiting for me.

being all... no eyeballed and such.

Anonymous said...

yuck, what are the sticks around the scorpion/ lobster?

Elyse Jones said...

The catfish one is what nightmares are made of.

Ugh...

Elyse

Dorci Harris said...

There is nobody else on the face of the earth who can make me laugh this hard this early in the morning.

On with critique.

Holy cow those are ugly. I may never eat seafood again. At least not purple seafood.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hey all,

So being from the great state of Maine, I can tell y'all that lobsters don't have large, curving stinger tails.

This, my friends, is a scorpion.

eugh...

john

Jasry said...

Wow, utterly revolting. I am very glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet. I have so many comments struggling to get out, but I cannot find the words. Or maybe that's just the bile surging up from my stomach....

Leslie said...

The sheep could be fun to put in somebody's bed...oh wait that was a horse, wasn't it?
The scorpion I absolutely hate having lived in the southwest my whole life. I really despise those little guys and this big one just makes my skin crawl.
As for the last one, it's funny you mention the grindylow because that's sort of how I pictured them...much like an ugly overgrown catfish.

Judy said...

What no horse heads in bed sheets. You set is incomplete Jen ;-S



WV: heenstr - a Teamster with a harelip

Anonymous said...

These are technically beautifully done (well, except for the chocolate pig...) cakes...but still.

I'm with you - I am going to choose to believe that the catfish is on a layer of grapes. That's what I choose to believe, and you can't make me change it. (bleh.)

My 10-year-old would give up a major internal organ for the scorpion cake, so I guess I can see that *someone* would order it (and it's gorgeous from an artistic standpoint..but a scorpion?).

I live in a country where they friggin eat calves' heads (tete de veau)...but for heaven's sake, it's all rolled so it looks like a roast, and it doesn't LOOK at you, so I truly cannot even begin to fathom WHY the sheep's head cake.

That's just wrong.

Haiku Joy said...

Ovine or caprine?
The ruminate cake is still
Peerless and unmatched.

Jenn said...

Are you even sure these are cakes??

Jenn said...

By the way, thanks for making me aware of rickrolling. Had not heard of that before, and my life is much more complete now....

FreedomFirst said...

My 4-year-old is totally gonna love this posting. I'd have to say the fish was the only one that really grossed me out, even though none of them would be my choice for a cake.

Meg said...

What? No Silence of the Lambs reference? Anyone?

"Do you still hear them Clarice?"

SwedenAnna said...

Ok so I was thinking... "Hey, she has already done the skull thing." I scrolled down... "OMG its a SHEEP!" :O

Laura said...

You're just lucky I hadn't eaten breakfast yet! That fishy one is gross!

delphinus-1800 said...

...Wow. That catfish gives a whole new meaning to the word "fishcake"! :D

Tom said...

The green things by the Catfish Cake are green tea tapioca pearls (:

bunny said...

"prepubescent larvae of a water-dwelling grindylow"

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! only you could pull something like that off without batting an eyelash! i almost fell on the floor as salty, vibrating mush because i was crying-laughing so hard at that statement! you so totally rock, jen, love this site!!!

peewee said...

I was like...these aren't THAT bad.

...and then...


gulp...the scorpion whatever that. THAT is when my coffee didn't go down so well.

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Mary had a little lamb-cake. It's head was white as fondant. hehehe. The first two actually don'tbother me too much. Yes, they are very odd and I wouldn't want to cut into them (cringe), but I mean they are kinda cute - in a way, without the tongue of course - if you leave them be. That scorpion on the other hand is nasty, and the fish. I don't even eat seafood, and get sick just thinking about it, so cake is not going to change my mind. Especially not that realistic.
I second the vote for grapes. I figured they were just green grapes...

Christine said...

I LOVE the sheep's head! I actually ate sheep's head when I was in Namibia (the dish was called "smiley"), and it looked kind of like a broiled version of that cake. I may have to get a version of this cake for my next birthday!

kevin said...

Okay, I woke up with a stomach flu, and felt icky enough, but that fish cake did me in. But I did laugh on my way to unload my breakfast, so, thanks... I think.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Ewwww!!! No tongues!

neil said...

funny story - totally not related to cake. i was visiting a turkish friend in germany and eating *breakfast* with their family. they brought out a few soups and so i thought i'd try them, not wanting to be ingracious. so, when i asked about the meat in one of the soups, i was told "schaf" (sheep). ok, i can deal with that. then, he said, "zunge". tongue. i almost lost it - upon further inspection, it really did look like sheep tongue, which is not AT ALL like your "bublegum" recreation here :)

Mer said...

Yikes, why does the tip of the left side of the Catfish's tale look like a chicken's head to me? It's freaking me out!

KritterBugg said...

Seriously? I NEVER thought a picture of a cake would ever make my stomach turn... The first 3 I was completely able to handle... But that nasty catfish on the bottom? Uhhhhhhh.... I almost had a cleanup on aisle 3! GROOOOSSSS!

DK

Melissa said...

Congratulations, Jen! You finally grossed me out with Catfish Cake! I have been witnessing the bizzarre and ugly (and laughing my butt off) every morning for quite some time. Never have I been scared to look at a cake twice. But that fish...blrg. Man...my gag cherry has been popped.

....And yet...I'm still laughing. Have you ever heard someone gag and laugh simultaneously?

Love the site, love your commentary!

Sharon said...

I'll give them kudos for artistic achievement, but I don't want to eat them.

Well, I could eat the first one. I have a strong stomach. I'm wary of the rest. I think that might be a goat's head instead of a sheep's head. You're not gonna love me for pointing this out --> But goat head is apparently a common dish in Namibia. It's even served in restaurants there.

In response to the comments about the fish and grapes, I'm thinking it's a reproduction of reproduction of a old painting. Something that was sold as an antique-looking painting to decorate your kitchen like this https://www.1st-art-gallery.com/Pierre-Dupuys/Basket-Of-Grapes.html

Amanda said...

I used to have tiny catfish in my aquarium that spawned all the time... so I instantly recognized the last cake. =] It's a gross topic for a cake, but it makes me miss the little fish babies I managed to save (before their parents ate them) and raise to adulthood. *sigh*

And I agree with Maria, it might not be all that gross, but that sheep head is CREEPY.

Nicole said...

I was so amused to find a cake made by one of my friends was posted here this morning! I can vouch for Tom by saying the green things surrounding the catfish cake are, indeed, green tea tapioca pearls.
She also made some unsettlingly realistic pig cakes which you can see here:
http://www.theconnoisseurs.com/piggycakes.html

Fluffy Cow said...

I kinda like the fishy cake. That is unless it actually SMELLS fishy. That would just be gross.

Xallanthia said...

I think the scorpion is kind of awesome, but then again I have a thing for arthropodst.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

The catfish cake is what happens when noodlers have birthdays.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noodling
I can't tell myself those are grapes when I know they're roe!

Can you still hear them, Clarice? Too funny!

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is WHY?!?!?!?! LOL.

WV: matchos - what needs to bet put to these cake-os. :P

Nikki said...

I could see the scorpion cake for someone whose zodiac sign is Scorpio (as mine is). In fact, I would kind of like it.

The catfish one though - erk.

Saiyavenger said...

I dunno. That scorpion is actually kinda rad to me.

Mella said...

Technically they are all good. It's just the chosen real life counterpart that's not cake compatible

Dargus said...

The catfish was created by the artist Jennifer Lewis. She even molded the inside to resemble innards. Amazing!

http://www.theconnoisseurs.com/catfishcake.html

AutumnJade said...

Wow Jen, those were AWESOME! And thank you ever so much for making me think about the sheep head everytime I think of John Mayer, not just Body is a Wonderland.

I love this blog and I consitantly refer to it in everyday life now.

Autumn

lunamorgan said...

Yeah. I feel that the scorpion is a beautiful piece of artwork that should never have been made into a cake. It's really amazingly sculpted, but I don't want to EAT it. Eep.

Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...

oh, that catfish is vile!

Carin Huber said...

I think they're all beautifully done, though it would be wierd to cut into them. But, then, I find beauty in unusual places.

Amy C said...

The sheep head I can handle.

The fish and the scorpion...Not so much. Thanks.

I find it amusing that no one mentioned the pig's head...

Sharon said...

Piggy was most likely made for a renaissance event.

ashleyalvina said...

it's not often that I actually have to "quickly peek" at the cake before I scroll it madly across my screen and out of view (whilst averting my eyes). Catfish, you win that category.

blech.

Sharon said...

What kind of plate is that under the sheep/goat head?

Paul E said...

Mer, I totally agree! The chicken head was the first thing I noticed on the last one. It took me a minute to see it was a catfish (catchickenfish?)

In a word. Ewwwwwwwwww.

WV: poodeade. I suppose that's better than pooalive.

MalMal said...

I would totally serve the sheep cake for a Saturnalia celebration. Provided, of course, there was a nice gooey raspberry filling....

wv: quota. I think we've now reached our quota on "cakes that make us want to hurl." Among the list are some of the cheeseburger cakes and shiny intestine cakes featured in the past, and now the nasty catfish cake. The fact that someone mentioned that the artist molded the insides to resemble fish innards, while impressive, just makes it worse....

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

NICOLE! EWWWW!!!
Why on earth did I click on that piggie link???? Why why why!? That not only looked realistic on the outside, but the internal about had be running to the bathroom! Who would EVER want that!?
Kudos on the realism though.

Justin N. said...

What does it say about me that I wouldn't mind being served any of these cakes?

V. Nicharico said...

I totally agree with you on the scorpion! The artist did a fantastic job, but it's still a scorpion!! EEK!

Anonymous said...

The sheep head...
I want to say at least it's well done, but the nostrils/etc look like they're from a horse, and sheep don't have completely black eyes, so it looks like a little-green-men version of a sheep. I'm pretty sure I recall them having irises and pupils, just like goats.
Not that realistic eyes would make it any more appetizing...

jengersnap said...

Oh gawd! I'm not sure I should be proud of having ate my lunch through the entire post without loosing it. But I'm thankful I finished before visiting the site with the catfish innards.

Grossness to the extreme!

sugarapplesweet said...

I checked out the website provided for the catfish, sheep's head, and pig cakes, and although I commend the baker for her creativity and skills I still have to say this:

Why on earth would you try and make the vital organs on the inside as well?

Even with a strong stomach, my head still spun with the thought of cutting into a cake only to have the 'innards' spill out.

If you really want to gross 'em out, just put those photos on here as well... Blech!

Amy said...

Oh, the catfish is just totally gross. Ugh. No thank you! It looks more like sushi than a cake.

The lamb would be better with out the tongue. I've not seen alot of sheep walking around with their tongues hanging out. Maybe it's a Passover cake?
What do they do with sheep tongue at Passover..(thinking deeply)
~Amy B

LaurenH said...

Honestly I thought yesterday's nose cakes were a lot grosser to look at than these. Well....except for the fish (*urp)

Miranda said...

*screams*

Guh! Thank heavens my stomach is empty!

I'm not really fond of making cakes look gross and nasty. X( Have pretty and appetizing somehow gone out of style? :/

Anonymous said...

Seriously, what is wrong with these people? Why would you do that to a cake, for crying out loud?

Anonymous said...

I thought the pig cake was kind of cute. At least he looks happy. I just can't get past the sheep head's cold dead eyes.

Jess said...

I think that these cakes are more of the buyer's fault than the decorators... they're pretty well done, just a disturbing subject.

Blegh.

Jess said...

I don't think the sheeps head could be a passover cake seeing as you can't EAT cake at passover...


no leavened bread...

AJ said...

Ooohhh... stomach churning. That's no bueno.

I guess on the bright side, if I do hurl, maybe my boss'll let me go home early.

TornadoBaby said...

Stomach flu here too... it WAS getting better...

It takes a lot to gross me out, but like many other readers, that catfish did it for me. What was that you were saying about yakking?

Oh, and I personally LOVE your puns! Don't stop!

aus_chick said...

wow, that last one looks so realistic - i had to do a double take to determine it was cake. my MIL is chinese, so I'm used to seeing whole fish turn up for dinner whenever we visit, so this doesn't really gross me out too much...

Holly said...

Wow, those are all really impressive. I don't know why anyone ever request a head for a cake, but you have to admit, the bakers did a good job. Disturbing, yes, but technically successful.

Redd said...

It's official, I'm a freak.

I LOVE these cakes. The piggy looks like it's made out of solid chocolate to me (I couldn't hate ANYTHING that's made out of solid chocolate) The scorpion is beautiful--I wouldn't mind having a little version of him to wear as a necklace. The detail on the catfish is amazing.

IslandPearl said...

I think the noses were way grosser. Personal opinion.

drgns4vr said...

Odd that you should have cake #4 on. Yesterday I just checked a book out of the library called Your Inner Fish by Neil Shubin. So far it hasn't mentioned cake, though.

Furry Kitchen said...

The fish cake is just wrong!
By the way, I think it might actually be a monkfish.
If you go here: http://www.fishingkites.co.nz/newsletters/newsletter96.htm and scroll down to where it says "Strange fish", you'll see a picture of a monkfish. Frighteningly close to this cake...without the grapes.

Karen said...

Yeah, the lobster/scorpion is kind of wild. Well done, though.

Karen said...

Hahahaha! What weird and random cakes. You've really got to wonder what the reasoning behind them is.

Kristen said...

I actually would eat the scorpion cake...maybe the catfish. See, I have this rule that if there's something exotic on the menu and I haven't tried it and it isn't idiotically expensive or risky to my health...so, yeah. I'd eat those.

But the head cakes? Uh-uh. Brains are not on the list of things I'm willing to eat--not even cakey brains. I mean, how embarrassing to admit "I got Mad Cow disease from eating a cake shaped like a goat's head"...nope. I'll play it safe on those.

Melissa said...

I would have used buttercream on the sheep - aren't sheep meant to be fluffy rather than smooth?

Susan said...

so glad you told me to put my food down. disgusting!

there's one way to cut back on calories... ain't no way i'm finishing my turkey sandwich now.

:)

Dani said...

Oh I like the piggy. He just looks so happy which is weird.

Veronica said...

YIKES!!!! I laughed at all of them, until I got to the last one, then I just wanted to puke. Like you, I barely was able to look @ it, but my first thought about the green balls was that they were supposed to be peas... either way, I remain squeamish/unsettled by that photo. If it were a real fish I don't even think it would have bothered me the way it does knowing that it's a CAKE!

Anonymous said...

The scorpion cake is actually very nicely detailed. It would be a great figure in a scorpion museum.

And, to John (Jen's hubby), I very much appreciate your correct use of "y'all" instead of "ya'll". Bravo.

DangGina said...

[gag] WHY wou-[gag]-would anyone make [urp] such a [running off to the bathroom]...

Seriously. Sick. I have a "sympathetic gag reflex" too. For some reason it came up in conversation last night at my friend's birthday party, of all places. NOT because of a nasty catfish cake or scorpion cake...in fact, it had nothing to do with the cake at all.

They all look too real for comfort.

(Oh, and that "bubblegum tongue" line still makes me laugh. Good thing I never really cared for John Mayer to begin with.)

StuffCooksWant said...

Ohhhhh, love the scorpion. And it DOES look crunchy...quite a feat for a cake.

whateverfor said...

That's beyond disgusting! Those are cakes?! Why, for the love of Pete, would you give someone a cake like that?! The scorpion freaked me out, the sheep/goat was plain disturbing, the pig was in poor taste, but the fish! The fish gave me the heebie jeebies - a cake shaped like fish!

Oh, and is it just me, or does that goat/sheep's head is surrounded by some kind of gelatinous substance? ::shudders::

deckardcanine said...

The green things are more likely to be peas. In a pinch, they could be olives.

WV: unchen -- I'm unchen over, ready to lose my lunch.

Giggles said...

If you're going to eat fish, just eat fish! Don't make a cake and pretend. Ick!

Anonymous said...

Yummy. Not only did I eat my lunch while looking at these pictures, but I also went to the links that showed the other cakes that had been created and the insides of them. I have a *really* strong stomach and I'm game to try just about any kind of food once. The only thing that makes me ill is the smell and sound of someone vomiting so I'm glad this website isn't a full-sensory experience, otherwise I'd have been right there alongside the rest of you while you were getting ill.

Z's Wife said...

That fish cake seriously makes me want to hurl all over my printer. The others, although slightly mortifying and reminiscent of Steel Magnolias, are pretty cool. I still probably wouldn't eat them in the fear that I would get a slice of guts though. I hope the cake isn't velvet inside.

Christi L. said...

You couldn't stomp on the scorpion, he is surrounded by nails. Which is what I always ask for as trim for my scorpion cake!

Anonymous said...

Seeing how I am almost 13 weeks pregnant....these cakes have officially gotten rid of any cake cravings I may have been having...even for the Pepperidge Farm cakes....

Alessandra said...

This is the best fiction/horror blog. My respects to those people, Stephen King is a poor dumb.

DragonTears said...

Love the grindylow comment! So off the wall... Wonder how many people went out to google what a grindylow is :D

B^2 said...

That last one is absolutely, positively disgusting...and I think I may suffer PTSD symptoms from seeing it.

As for the scorpion one, also gross, but was that by any chance for someone whose sign is Scorpio? If so, I have to say that is pretty clever. Not nice to look at, but clever. And different.

Scritzy said...

Maybe there's a reason the candles around the scorpion cake look like nails. Don't step on the nails and you won't step on Scorpio here.

The catfish cake has now caused me to have the song "Fish Heads" running through my brain. Gee, thanks a lot.

Amy Ellen said...

EWWWWWWW okay all the heads were kind well yuck, the scorpion, oh heck no, yuck yuck yuck, but the slimy looking fish with eggs, BLECH
How could people eat those???

Anna said...

Wow, this one is intense!

Strangely enough, I have to admit I am slightly enamored with the scorpion. It's magnificently done! Okay, maybe the - I'm assuming that's what it is - rusty sheet rock it's standing on could've been done better, but I really like that luminescent, golden shell this scorpion has. I would love to eat him. Also because that's about the closest I would ever get to eating bugs. And then I could tell myself I've kinda sorta had bugs at least once in my life and be all cool. LOL

Sara said...

I also don't find these cakes at all disgusting. I mean, all of these things do get eaten somewhere in the world (maybe not scorpions, but you never know). Human body parts? Eeeuuch. Fish, sheep, pigs? Just funny.

Carolyn said...

Oh, wow that catfish is Gross.

Word verification: tattede

as in I tattede on my little sister when she made me try to eat one of these cakes.

Angie said...

I think you have just demonstrated a need for a whole new cakewreck category - "Cakes That Technically Aren't Wrecks But Make You Wonder Why The H*** Someone Wanted This In The First Place." You know, the CTTAWBMYWWTHSWTITFP category. Or maybe it could just be the "Who The H*** Ordered This?" (WTHOT) group?

Alix said...

Personally, I love the catfish cake! What a pretty purpley grey. Down here in Florida we like our fingerlings fried and our cake, well... shaped in honor of our fingerlings.

Rock on catfish cake.

Word Verification: "reeko" as in what Racheal Ray might say about these cakes. What does SHE know.

Scientific Chick said...

The eyes on the first one are kind of creepy. I'd still eat it, though.

Annie Japannie said...

None of these are wrecks! They're amazing.

And don't you think it's rather philanthropic that someone is using his artistic skills to make a cake sheep's head instead of making his guests eat the actual sheep's head that Scots actually eat?

Proudfeet said...

I am trully stunned by what some people come up with! I would not only pass on eating the cake at these parties, I don't think I would trust any of the food being served! Gross!

dawnspring said...

I'm another one who isn't grossed out by these. The sheep is hilarious, the piggy looks good and is perfect for a luau/Hawaii theme party, and the catfish is just silly, but cute.

The scorpion is amazing and hardly what I'd call a wreck! I'm an arachnophobe (spiders and scorps freak me out big time) but I would totally have a piece of that cake.

dawnspring said...

Oh, and in response to one of the commentors, yes, scorpions are edible. You can buy scorpion lolipops and candy at gift stores here in AZ.

Aedail said...

Luckily, I'll never think of that cake because I won't force myself to listen to John Mayer.

Anonymous said...

To all you gaggers... OH DEAR GOD! It's just cake! :) Artistic and well done sculpted cakes. If you're gagging, it's cus the artists are awesome.

Bj�rnsdatter said...

Actually, sheep's head is a delicacy in the western parts of Norway. Imagine the horror of finding them vacuum packed in the supermarket...

schmish said...

Ha! I don't know who Cattie P. is, but hey, if she's going to send you a flickr pic, might as well send you a pix of the whole cake as well (just for some context)... http://www.flickr.com/photos/schmish/2689410112/

Cake was done for a friend's birthday after a BBQ meat-fest. It was funny to have more "meat" for dessert after the real meat we already chowed down on. For the final presentation, the tomatoe was removed and the piggy was surrounded with strawberries.

Kim said...

grindylow. Ha! I love HP!

rubian77 said...

I'm guessing that the scorpion cake is for a Scorpio. Or someone who really likes them for some other reason. Wow, though. Still made my skin crawl.

And according to the fish-cake site, they aren't grapes -- but don't panic! It's another edible item, green tea tapioca pearls. (They're like gummy candy, and quite good.)

WV: mingthe - what I said when I dropped that priceless Ming vase....what? I was just looking at it for a second...

Krisse said...

Speaking of gross cakes, here's the one I made my boyfriend for his birthday just last week (warning - incredibly gross):
carcass cake

Anna said...

Hehe, the cake selection begs for Andrew Zimmern! But seriously, somehow I didn't get too grossed out by any of these cakes. Even the pig - well, wouldn't be my choice of a cake, it's kind of ugly, but artistically ugly. The really creepy thing was the deadly pale sheep staring at me with its black alien eyes.

Yay to all the Scorpios, wouldn't it be fun to get a cake like that for our birthdays? Yes, we're weird like that!

Procrastinateher said...

Wow, none of those grossed me out that much. Maybe because I remember how gross the ribcage with bleeding organs cake looked or something...

I think the last one should've used glace cherries rather than grapes, that'd be more realistic.

And the strawberry instead of the apple - who knows, obviously commonsense isn't so common anymore.

Anonymous said...

Ew. The last one is the worst.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

I think taxidermy is really creepy, so that sheep is high on the "NO" list.

Well, all of them are, really. Although the scorpion one is rather exquisite. It reminds me of "The Scorpion King." =)

Catfish=NO. I HATE tapioca pudding (my mom calls it 'fish-eye pudding', blargh!) but I like boba (bubble) tea with those huge tapioca pearls. Maybe because boba reminds me of mochi, a Japanese treat--a sweet gelatinous cake made with rice flour. Almost like a non-sugary version of Turkish Delight...my favorite is 'an mochi', filled with sweet red bean paste. Mmmmmmm...

However I think it's the clammy purple look to the fish that makes me want to gag. And I thought its tail looked like a chicken too!! 0_0

WV: Matip. Matip for the day: Don't eat taxidermy cakes!

Brits said...

I actually did a full body shudder for the cake one.

Suzanne Dargie said...

The sheep's head is awesome! Even the catfish one isn't too bad.
I'd probably have a much easier time eating that than the nose cakes from yesterday. They made me want to vomit.

Megan said...

"From the short bursts of eye contact I was able to make with this guy before the dry heaving began"

That is so right on. I didn't start dry-heaving, though. I started convulsing.

sendingtheclowns said...

When I was a kid, I found a small skull in the cow pasture that we kids hiked around in. I wondered what it had been in. Cow? Deer?
That sheep cake reminded me of that! Somehow! =^??^=
And, I made me sort of wonder what the fondant had been draped OVER to give the head such a realistic look of having, well, a bone structure!
Hmmm.
I wish the creature had realistic eyes, too, as others have said. Goat and sheep eyes are so fascinating, don't you think? Slitty, horizontal rectangles that look like little mail slots...cool.
I don't feel repelled by these--besides, I'm assuming that they smell and taste like cakes, and not like fish or sheep or scorpions (if scorpions have a smell...and a taste...which they must, but...eewww).

Anonymous said...

THOSE LAST TWO ARE CAKES? They are very convincing.

Manda said...

You know, I've been reading Cake Wrecks for months now. The crazy baby shower cakes didn't bother me. The morgue cake didn't bother me. The cakes that were covered in icing resembling slime or bodily excretions didn't bother me. The nose cakes yesterday? No biggie.

But that SCORPION CAKE?

I almost threw my laptop. Ergh. :/

Anonymous said...

At first, I thought that hog was supposed to be Admiral Akbar from Star Wars.

sendingtheclowns said...

...and another thing:
That pig looks entirely too happy for something lying there beheaded. Look at that grin, and the mirthful, squinty-looking eyes. Something's essentially wrong with that. He looks more like the third pig of "The Three Little-" fame --the one who made his house out of bricks. HE had something to be happy about.
This one?
Head cut off, baked, and on a serving platter. Doesn't sound like a Kodak Moment to me.

Scorpio said...

You mam, are the worst arachnophobic i know. You would crush even a cake of a scorpion? No way.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

sick and demented

Anonymous said...

All these cakes still look better than all the nose cakes and body part cakes.

Lindsey said...

I really like(d) that John Mayer song! Now I really will think of that stupid sheep head and it's crazy tongue when I hear that song.

Thanks. :P

Brie said...

bubblegum tongue... love it, will forever think of Jennifer Love and sheepy here everytime I hear that song ;)

I may never eat green grapes again btw

Anonymous said...

gosh this is why i am a vegetarian, even with cakes!

Looking Glass said...

Oh god lol this made me snort with laughter and delight. Haha. And yes the grindylow comment was a total win. The sheep head was honestly scary.

Anonymous said...

I'd always thought that John Mayer song was really creepy, and that sheep only confirms it. It also makes me think of "Silence of the Lambs" and the horse head in the "Godfather".

I actually like the scorpion and catfish ones, but judging from all the other comments I've read, I'm in the minority. (I should mention also that I'm a student who's had to open up rats in lab in order to get their organs, so my tolerance threshold for biologic parts is pretty high.)

JYC

DW said...

Jen - you are awesome! I'm so thoroughly grossed out that I might just have to throw out all the food in my fridge because there's no way I'm going to cook any of it before it goes bad. Talk about an instant diet. You know, maybe you could patent it and sell it to the Hollywood set.... [thinks for a bit] oh, maybe not, I don't think most of them eat anyway. [shrugs] oh well, it was worth a shot....

jackie31337 said...

From the page describing the creation of the catfish cake:
"I originally wanted to make the eyes out of hard candy, but I settled for some taxidermy fish eyes I had laying around the studio."

Because who doesn't have some taxidermy fish eyes lying around? :)

mizzy N said...

any cake in a ruminant's head shape is gross. I'm LOLling at "prepubescent larvae of a water-dwelling grindylow". Oversized eggs.

Annie Beth said...

Thanks for the warning to put down the coffee. And food. I read this blog while eating my breakfast.

Melanie said...

The crustacean seems to have a lobster body and a scorpion tail. . . so it's both eerily accurate (as cake goes)and monstrous.

Liz said...

Thank you Jen, for giving me even more reason to hate John Mayer... I don't like him much anyways, so having a sheeps head as my visual when I hear him singing is great!!!

He makes my skin crawl and so do these cakes!

Reese said...

Gahh!!! The scorpion cake!!
*gag*

akukoomori said...

"My 10-year-old would give up a major internal organ for the scorpion cake, so I guess I can see that *someone* would order it (and it's gorgeous from an artistic standpoint..but a scorpion?)."

being a 21 year old nerd who has been known as "The 6 foot 12 year old", I can relate, I thought the scorpion cake was great.

I think the sticks around it, by the way, are candles. And it seemed to be holding the number "60", so it seems it's a birthday cake, for a 60 year old.

that's my kind of geezer.

Clair said...

okay, the fish is so much worse than the foot fungus one that i thought was the most disgusting thing in the world

Cheesy Ninja said...

ugh!!!!!! i was thinking "oh those are grapes" then someone behind me goes..."ewww fish eggs!" that was rather disturbing. and just how lifelike the scorpion was, ew, i wouldn't let my mouth NEAR that even if you PAID me. oh, and the chocolate-glazed pig was rather off-putting as well.....

falcon said...

Grindylow!
Haha, letting my own nerdy HP side out

pony said...

So, I went to the fishy website... yes, i'm that stupid.

And then i really lost my dinner... she made it have innards!

And then there are pictures of it sliced!

EEEEWWWWWWWW doesn't even begin to cover it.

Cheesy Ninja said...

i went on the website and looked at the making of the catfish cake and the piggy cakes, and i guess i have a stronger stomach than i thought, because i wasn't all that grossed out by it. the pig cakes were actually kinda cool, the catfish, ok, that was a bit odd, but not THAT gross. the only thing that i fond unappealing was the chocolate pudding pig liver, the raspberry kidneys, and the jell-o heart of the pig. but even that didn't bug me horribly. huh. :)

Scythemantis said...

Scorpions are ornate, beautiful animals (a lot smoother, sleeker and prettier than their cake version seems to make them out to be) and only a couple of species are at all dangerous. Only terrible people stomp arthropods of any sort.

meauxjeaux said...

the cakes are disgusting yet masterfully done, imho. life sure is a rich pageant.

~ L. K. said...

That scorpion cake seemed familiar. I looked through my cake links and realized I knew it from this:

http://russianfun.net/russian-fun/russian-cakes/#more-8366

Sarah W. said...

After living in Arizona for 7 years, I just had my first scorpion in my new house and FREAKED - this scorpion cake is seriously and personally disturbing!! WHO would want a cake like that? (even if my boys wanted something like that I would NEVER order something edible in the shape of a scorpion, cockroach or anything of that type. I'm sure in the AZ desert i can find plenty of the real thing to send to them and then maybe, just MAYBE they will stay out of my house!!

Anonymous said...

I think the catfish is probably a sturgeon, and the grapes are probably caviar. Just sayin'.

Sexy Witch said...

Nice Harry Potter reference!

www.youravon.com/marjoriemarino

Margo said...

These are fantastic! I don't think any of them really qualify as wrecks - they are all really well made - The catfish wouldn't be my first choice as a design but it has been done with enormous skill!

Tana said...

new to your blog. literally laughed until i cried at these. it was that or hurl.

Scythemantis said...

Sarah W - seriously and personally disturbing? Please. A scorpion is a natural animal with a beautiful, sleek appearance, it's not aggressive and few species can seriously harm you. NOBODY should find arthropods ugly or scary, there is absolutely no reason to. Get the hell over it and grow up please.

The Aristocrats said...

As the creator of the sheep's head, I am delighted by every comment in this thread and proud to be included with these other freaky cakes. The sheep was for a New Zealand going away party. The design was meant to be sweet, creepy, and a bit dead in the eyes so it sounds like it worked. Wish I could show you all how scary it looked without the fondant, but I tried hard to get that graceful naturalistic bone structure. Subversive cakes unite!

Jeanne said...

I want to see the cake that looks like head cheese.

Melissa said...

Catfish cake oh yuck. I totally agree with the dry heaves.

Diana said...

Thanks for the HP reference!!!

Anonymous said...

I actually love the catfish cake. :/ And the green things are green tea tapioca pearls, apparently.

Anonymous said...

Those look more like gooseberries than grapes.

Anonymous said...

My three year old said "ewww it's pooping out grapes."
What a cake!

wendalls said...

The cat fish one is amazing! Great creative work.

Nyum said...

What the freak was with all those nails on the lobster cake? as if it wasn't repellent enough...