Monday, April 6, 2009

An Easterly Wind is Blowing

Monday, April 6, 2009

It's coming, my friends. Already bakeries are rolling out the pastel dipped confections, the marshmallow Peeps, and lots and lots of adorable, fluffy-looking little...

Whoah. My bad, Mr. Angry, I thought you were someone else. Hey, no need to get your carrot all bent out of shape there; we were just leaving. C'mon, guys.


[walking backwards] As I was saying, bakeries are ramping up the cuteness quotient with plenty of floppy-eared darlings like thi...

Yow! Aw, dude, you shouldn't jump out at people like that! Uh, and you've got a little something on your face there... No, no, you can hardly tell. Really.

Anyway, I'm telling you guys, there really are tons of sweet hippity-hoppity hares infiltrating the bakeries! Just give me another second to find one...

Ah! Here we go:


[Psycho shower-scene music]

Aaaiiieee! It's Lemon Lips, the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! He's got a vicious streak a mile wide - he's a killer! I knew I should have packed the Holy Hand Grenade this morning...

Well, if you'll all join me in running away this direction, we can continue our quest for the cutesy bunnies.

[staring wide-eyed]

Uh.

Right, I give up. Quest over. Hope you all enjoyed your time here today. Kindly exit through the gift shop...


Aviva, Rosie L., Amy D., & Kristin J., this one's for you:


The Lili Effect said...

Technically, rabbits are lagomorphs, not rodents. Though lemon-lips the CCC isn't necessarily a rabbit, so I'm still with you on that one.... yeek!

WV: Monsest. superlative of monstery - those bunnies where the monsest I've seen in a long while..

Jasry said...

That bleeding-eyed rabbit is an escapee from Watership Downs, ack!! That book scared the bejeezus out of me as a kid, and now I see it immortalized in sugar?! I'm running faster than you!!

joyce said...

Bad bunnies. bleeding bunnies? who decided to mix Easter with Halloween?

jamiebentley said...

Whoa! That 3rd one looks more like this than the Easter Bunny:

http://philspector.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/gremlins.jpg

Anonymous said...

in this spirit of geekiness to which i believe this website subscribes, i must humbly submit the fact that rabbits are not actually rodents.

they belong to the order of lagomorphs.

Alix said...

Bleeding goughed-out Easter Bunny eye cakes? Awesome!

Veronica said...

Lemon Lips looks so much like Stitch's cave-dwelling, flesh-eating cousin it's legitimately frightening. D: D: D:

Kashmir said...

First, I screamed. Then I laughed. The bleeding eye bunny is just too great. I hate Easter. I have a rabbit phobia but the idea of munching down on some bleeding eye rabbit deliciousness is just too....well, I'd suffer through it.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

Cake #1 - I've heard that eating too many carrots can turn your skin orange, but I never knew it would be concentrated in one...um...area.

Cake #2 - The bleeding tears bunny would make an awesome b-day cake for Glenn Close.

Cake #3 - My gawd...what is wrong with people?!?

Anonymous said...

It's "Night of the Lepus" come to life, Cakewrecks style!

---Bree

Miranda said...

BWAH HAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Let me guess, the people working in the bakery really hate Easter. And that last bunny totally licked a funny stamp. :P

Judy said...

What , no Monty Python Holy Grail references???

"that's a Mean Bunny!!!" LOL

Viewtiful_Justin said...

Holy hell! The whole office is laughing with me on this one! That's the scariest thing I've ever seen...poor bloody-eyed bunny.

alison said...

That angry bunny nearly made me jump (hop?) out of my chair. That is one ANGRY bunny! And I agree with Veronica - the third one looks like one of the experiments from Lilo & Stitch, or maybe something from Pokemon????

Jason said...

Rabbit #2 is what happened when the Nazi rabbits opened the Ark of the Covenant...

Pink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Wow, these are scary! Who is buying such awful cakes?

Leslie said...

So people are willing to point out that rabbits aren't rodents and totally skip over the Monty Python reference? For shame.
Maybe these are Watership Downs cakes and not Easter cakes like Jasry said...
Jen you better lob that Holy Hand Grenade quickly....one, two FIVE! (three, sir!)

Jen said...

"That bleeding-eyed rabbit is an escapee from Watership Down, ack!!"

Ahahahahahaha!!! My son just finished the book; I can't WAIT to show him this! :D

April said...

"Look at the BONES!"

Loved the Monty Python quote Jen. Made my day. :)

Those cakes are just.....well, creepy.

KritterBugg said...

Number Four could almost pass for Groucho Marx...

DK

Stressfactor said...

Hahahahaha... I love the Holy Hand Greneade reference. But methinks the CCC bunny looks more like someone crossed a rabbit with an Aboniable Snowman... look at those claws, yipe!

kat79 said...

That one takes me back to Bunnicula one of my very first vampire books.

seeree, phd said...

It's Bunnicula!! The vampire bunny of famous children's literature!

Becky said...

I was thinking something from gremlins on that third bunny...

Justfrosting said...

Is it just me or does the second rabbit look like "The Holy Grail" killer rabbit.

sues2u2 said...

Aaaaaaah! You shouldn't do that to people on Monday am! Man, I thought my nightmares had come to life!

(yes, this post totally deserved all of those exclamation points!! lol)

Half Assed Kitchen said...

The last one looks like Bozo the Bunny gone awry.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Anonymous said...

As anyone fortunate enough to have house rabbits will tell you (I have two), bunnies can be quite disapproving and ill-tempered, as these cake decoraters are no doubt aware! I'm backing up my case with a link to another one of my favorite blogs:
http://www.disapprovingrabbits.com/

ashleyalvina said...

haha...seriously. As per usual, your commentary on the photos is the highlight of my day - I never start a day without it!
LOVED the Monty reference.

a.

ps - you have me secretly wishing that the next cake I order will be a wreck, so I have something to contribute :)

-Sea Nymph- said...

The bleeding one made me think of the suicide bunnies : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Book_of_Bunny_Suicides

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Jason,

It takes a lot to make me chuckle at a comment. I mean I read THOUSANDS.

But I laughed out loud at yours. Seriously.

Grateful for the morning laugh,

john

Doublebanker said...

Completely forgot about Good Friday...WOOT!

dailygifblog.com

Sharon said...

#3: Chupacabra!

Amy C said...

The first one I couldn't tell if it was a dimented sperm (ok I'm dirty) with a carrot coming out of it...Or just a dimented something with a dimented carrot coming out of it.

The third cake looked like a cross between The Easter bunny and Some Holloween beast thing.....

Good thing I don't celebrate Easter?

Cheadle Chick said...

The second last CCC lemon lips kinda looks like something from the "Gremlins" movie.... but made of cake....

Blalock said...

Those are really scary!!!

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

I'm scared... the bunnies are scaring me...

lady-fae said...

I'm telling you, that CCC is a Gremlin!

jackie31337 said...

-Sea Nymph- said The bleeding one made me think of the suicide bunnies

Yes! My boss brought that book in to work a while back. Clearly he shares my sick sense of humor. I should share these wrecks with him.

Oh, also: the celery stalks at midnight!

WV: tamet. That bunny is so wild, no one has yet been able to tamet.

Dara said...

Perfect - just what I need to keep those blasted kids away from my Easter eggs!

Hare Shirt said...

I dunno, somehow, Stigmata Bunny seems appropriate for Easter.

Cakey Goodness said...

My first thought when I saw #2 was the Holy Handgrenade. Now I think it should be used for all of them!

taritac said...

I'm about to be fired for uncontrollable laughter.

Jen said...

Hah, I'm glad to see SOME of you are getting the Monty Python reference - that "rodent" line is a direct quote. Perhaps I'm being too subtle?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg

qb9er said...

Thank you, fair readers, for posting reference to the Killer Bunny of Caerbannog before I got to the post. My faith in humanity restored, I now return to work.

(Let's not discuss the yardstick with which I measure my faith in humanity, shall we?)

Laura Moffitt said...

These are terrible!! These should be saved for Halloween. We need to save the childrens eyes.

Kristen said...

Lemon lips might be a lamb, not a bunny. Or perhaps it's the bastard child of a lamb and a bunny. Definitely odd for sure.

StuffCooksWant said...

Those are awesome!! Love the bloody bunny eyeball cake (now there's a phrase I never thought I'd say)... he's so sweet and cute and AHHHHHHHH, he's shot... right in the eye. That's gotta hurt.

Reinah said...

The cake on the front page of carvel.com has a petrified-looking swirly bunny. (I found out through a circular.)

Me said...

Mommy, I want a bleedy-eye bunny cake for easter to celebrate our risen Lord! Oh PLEEEEASE Mommy!!!


Crimeny, those things are freaking SCARY.

Marauder said...

Wow. That second one looks like what would happen if someone turned Le Chiffre from Casino Royale into a bunny.

neenuh said...

omg hahahaha! this has got to be the funniest cake wreck post for me!

Buffy said...

"I've got a theory, it could be bunnies...

Bunnies aren't cute like everybody supposes
They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses
And what's with all the carrots?
What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?
Bunnies! Bunnies, it must be bunnies!

Or maybe midgets?"

I'm starting to think Anya was right to be afraid of bunnies....

WV--urcul:
*high-pitched, nasal voice*
"Did I do that?"

Amanda said...

Love the reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. That's a hilarious movie!

Glory von Hathor said...

I'm sure that scene must have inspired the Moloko song Killa Bunny...

'Filthy, fluffy creatures.
Teeth as sharp as knives.
The long-eared ones are coming,
Run, run, run,
For your lives.'

madrobins said...

But isn't Bunny #4 (Lemon Lips) actually an attack Panda? They breed them for ferocity, in a secret training facility in China...

Those are some Sorry Bunnies.

Your Waitress said...

Ah, Lemon lips looks like those things on the Ladders commercials haha

Holly said...

Those are awesome. Great writing, too.

Suzanne Dargie said...

Oh the poor little bleeding eyed bunny! Other than that it would have been a really cute cake. Oh the horror!
We saw some real bunnies in our yard yesterday....they were really cute....eating the grape hyacinths......

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Is it just me, or does the CC thing look like the evil gremlins thing? You know, the one that mutates when you add water after dark (or whatever it was, it's been a while). And bleeding bunny is just representing the sacrifice that started the whole thing, don't ya know... It's just a flesh wound.

RecoveringActor said...

That ain't no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on! That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!

(Run away! Run away!)

Scritzy said...

Um, yeah. Looks as if these guys went went swimming in a toxic waste pool before they went hoppin' down the Bunny Trail.

Dorci Harris said...

Hey that CCC reminded me of the space monkey Penny used to have as a pet on Lost In Space.

Yeah, I'm old.

Haiku Joy said...

Mister Angry Cake,
Attacked by caterpillars,
Guards right-angled root.

kat79 said...

Buffy's right. I almost forgot about Anya and the bunnies.

Melissa (& Billy) said...

The Easter Bunny always frightened me. This just confirms it. *runs far away*

BreeAnn said...

The cupcake cake looks like a rabit gremlin!

Chatty Cathy said...

That last one there looks like he has a blue-tipped match stuck up his nose.

Ok, these bunnies make the one I submitted to you look like the cuddliest Easter Bunny that ever was.

Mar Calpena said...

Didn't anyone else think of Donnie Darko?

webiegal said...

You really have a knack for bringing back fond memories (ahhh, the days of skipping school). I love this blog.

"...And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ..."

BWAAAHAHAHAA!

Margaret said...

"Run away! Run away!"

Thanks for the M.P. laugh.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! Thanks for the good laughs again. Oh lordy.

Anya from Buffy would be feeling very justified in her terror.

Chasing a life said...

I'm getting a few odd looks. I'm sitting in my law school library (read: silence is to be maintained at all costs) and I'm silently laughing so hard I'm crying. Lemon Lips could be the new Naked Mohawk Baby Carrot Jockeys for me, I can't look at it without cracking up!

Carmen Keys said...

Oh how I love you, Cake Wrecks.
Yeah.... bleeding eyes bunny.... *shudder*

Amy said...

Gosh, the perfect Easter cakes for your neighbourhood exorcist..! Yikes.

~Amy B.

The Austerity Kitchen said...

Poor bunnies! Really, Easter fare is all ready a bit strange, what with peeps and those wretched eggs stuffed with lemon-colored shortening. These mangled bunnies need to be put out of their misery -- calling PETA!

Ginger said...

the white bunny withe bleeding eyes looks like it might be the rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail!
Freaky ugliness~

Toonces said...

Umm...Lemon Lips has a poo-belly.

FoxTrottinKate said...

The very first comment on here does mention that rabbits aren't rodents, they're lagomorphs (the difference is that rodents only have one set of front teeth, while lagomorphs, such as the rabbit, hare, and pika, have another set immediately behind their front teeth). But. It's a "Monty Python" reference! BOO YEAH!

Jen, Jen, Jen...I am firmly convinced that you and I would make wonderful RL friends. You know what a TARDIS is, what a stargate is, and you're quoting one of the best movies ever, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." If you weren't married and I wasn't entirely heterosexual, I'd ask you to marry me.

Logan said...

That third one (the CCC) looks to me more like a star wars wampa...

Vanilla said...

They need to stop cross-breeding bunnies and monkeys. The bunkies have got to go!

Callisto said...

Is it possible the first one is upside down? I tried looking at it that way and it made 0.003% more sense.

jengersnap said...

Oh my. These are the wrabbits nightmares are made of.

(Petting the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog gently, fangs pointed away from chest)

peaches1111_00 said...

Perhaps the bleeding bunny is the killer bunny from Monty Python? So cute and fluffy until he decides to POUNCE!

Aviva said...

Whoa! I'm so happy that cake picture was 'wrecky' enough! Love your blog!! :)

Cheesy Ninja said...

* bloodcurdling scream *

AHHHHHHHH! the evil demented monster bunnies are coming to devour us all!
lemon-lips is more of a gremlin than a bunny, he seriously looked deranged!!!!!! and that last one looked like a drunken celebrity was trying to make it, eugh!!!!!!!!! and that bleeding one is disturbing, like easter bunnies gone HORRIBLY wrong.... *shudder *

Kimberly Chapman said...

You know, the first one looks more like it's pooping the carrot than it being a specific bit of male anatomy. I'm not sure which is worse. No, wait...poop is worse, marginally.

Manda said...

I agree with Jasry up there. The bleeding-eye bunny reminds me Watership Down, and that's not the way to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

sabrinasmom said...

#2 is the "I-won't-be-ignored-Fatal-Attraction" Cake. For those oh so special occasions.

Chelsea said...

Mar Calpena ~ I was totally thinking the same thing...especially with Bunny #2 up there...bleeding eye looks just like Frank's!

Juliana said...

"But now I feel sick in the head from the Bunny...."

From VeggieTales The Bunny Song

Suzanne said...

Poor white bunny, he obviously escaped from the L'Oreal makeup testing laboratory.

drgns4vr said...

Am trying to figure out why Angry Bunny Cake #1 is so upset--he's got a ton of spring-y looking sprinkles. (Plus a couple plastic flowers.) No need to get your carrot all bent out of shape!

Patricia said...

Look everybody! It's tonight's nightmare features! Run away, run away, run away...

As usually, the cakes are awesomely bad. Thanks!

smauge said...

ok kiddies - can anyone say "myxomatosis"?

sj said...

nightmares. I'm already having nightmares. Did that one have (gulp) razor sharp claws, or was it... nope, those were razor sharp claws.

nightmares.

Anonymous said...

the CCC "rabbit" reminds me of Frank in Donnie Darko...Perfect for the kids after the Easter egg hunt!

Sarah said...

I have to wonder if that second bunny came from Australia?? These weirdo things are everywhere here & most of them have bleeding eyes like that EWWW!

Anonymous said...

Sam said...bleeding eye bunny looks like an escapee from an animal testing lab. but they're all pretty scary!

douberlyfamily said...

Love the blog! My two year just said, "That's scar-wee!" and my six year old asked, "Who would eat that?" From the mouths of babes!

Liz said...

Actual spit take has just occurred... lord help these "rabbits."
Thank you for ALWAYS making me laugh.

Anonymous said...

The last one looks kind of like Harry from "Meet the Feebles" (very very non-child-safe Muppet ripoff). And I can't get over the one with the bleeding eye, it looks like it has myxomatosis ...

Word verification; dyingen. Yes, that bleeding bunny does look like it's dyingen.

Jen said...

Thank you for yet AGAIN making me laugh until I cry. I'm telling everyone I know about this site.

Anonymous said...

Eee-vill bunny cake ... must be ... stopped ...
Die, eee-vill bunny cake, DIE!!
Oh My GOd! It WON'T DIE!!

James said...

third one down... definitely a gremlin in a bad rabbit costume

candace said...

Lagomorphs, shmagomorphs! Those friggin "bunnies" are creepy! I just woke up my little boy from a sound sleep I was laughing so hard. Thanks!

Hyena Overlord said...

Monty Python was right...rabbits are monsters.


wv: pootar...these wreckerators need a boot in the pootar.

Breath of Insanity said...

Bunny #2 looks like he was stabbed in the eyes with his carrot. And it must have hurt too, because he's crying! Actually, that one wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that the wreckerator made him into a devil-bunny with those blood-red eyes.

Anonymous said...

I had a horrifying lamb cake... I am of the opinion it was intended to be some sort of weird passover thing but am assured it was an Easter cake (ewwww eating the lamb of G-d, you know when it's not the host, kind of creeps me out) anyway I was all set to take a picture and discovered they had cut into it and started eating it already!
OTOH -- there's some ummm interesting lamb cakes out there!
http://lambcake.raktron.com/

Julie said...

That third one looks like a gremlin.

Little Lady Cakes said...

These bunnies make me sad and scared...

The Tilted Tulip said...

Is that the bunny (the dripping blood one) from Monty Python?

Summer said...

Wow! They look so yummy..But that bleeding-eyed rabbit makes me think that should i eat those?!lol,just kidding..;D
But they really look so yummy.;D
Happy eastern..

Solo said...

Love that staring wide eye.Looks yummy..

Anonymous said...

IT'S BUNICULA!

Star Bakery said...

Your comments crack me up, I love reading your blog!

Angelina Talley said...

My two year old just walked up to the computer screen, pointed at Lemon Lips and said "Look! Bunny cake! Eat bunny cake?" Just goes to show, 2 year olds will want to eat just about anything with icing!

And I love the Holy Hand Grenade reference - that's the first thing I thought when I saw that bunny!

pieceofprettycake said...

My husband came into the room while I was laughing at the third one and we had the following exchange:

Him: Are you looking at your messed up cakes site?

Me: *laughs* Yes.

Him: Is that...is that a koala?"

Me: *laughs harder* No!

Him: Is it some kind of alien?

Me: *dies laughing* It's a bunny!

peewee said...

what's that big brown blob in the middle of lemon lips' "body???"

DangGina said...

I already have an irrational fear of clowns. Who knew the Easter Bunny would be added to the list?

Elise said...

Maybe this is the bakers' way of keeping people from adopting (& later neglecting) bunnies?

Steph said...

Hysterical...

Apparently, I am not the only dork that immediately thought, "Hey, rabbits are NOT rodents." ROFL

mumstheword said...

Who knew that Easter was a horror show!

Louise Emma said...

EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW Scary nasty bunnies!!!!!!!

elesa said...

Wow, bunny number 4 is how I look if i don't pluck my unwanted facial hair. or facial hare. whatever.

sailordada said...

I think Lemon Lips may be in anticipation of Tim Burton's new Movie "Alice in Wonderland."

twinklescrapbooks said...

Okay I want lemon lipstick! LOL :)
tina

Giusi. said...

FLMAO!! you crack me up!!
love the first one.. bahahahah scariest thing EVER!!
omg i want to make one!!
bahahahaha

Tokositna said...

It seems like someone who made the cake would step back and say "WOAH! That ain't right."

Queen Lindsay said...

Whoa BUNNIES!!

Anonymous said...

This first photo prompted my 5yo DS to exclaim, "Unicorn! no, Sea Horse" and then stop talking and look more and more confused. . . . hee hee! thanks for the fun site!

Jane said...

Love the Monty Python reference! As it happens, I had just finished watching that DVD when I saw your post!

Anonymous said...

Bunnicula!

Lady Em said...

Some of those cakes make me fear rabbits almost as much as "Night of the Lepus"! (I should have learned by now not to read this stuff before bed.) I love your blog. You know, somehow, I knew you'd seen "The Holy Grail" at some point. This post just confirms it. I'm going to go to sleep now with visions of "nasty, sharp, pointy teeth" dancing...er, hopping...in my head :)

L. Shepherd said...

LOL at the HG quote!

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord, bless this thy holy hand grenade, that with it we may blast our enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.

LMAO those rabbits will give me nightmares!

karenw said...

Donnie darko all the way with the bleeding eye bunny, gotta love a holiday where you can make rabbits the stuff of nightmares - god bless less than talented cake decorators this jolly hol.

Amanda Wheatland said...

Is easter a celebration of rebirth or roadkill? Somebody help me out here I am struggling to remember.

Amanda

Heather said...

All I can think is that the white "bunny" ccc is what would result should you breed a rabbit, a monkey and a koala!

On the other hand, my family celebrates the zombie rabbit (long story) - if you are a good little boy/girl, the zombie rabbit leave you chocolate, if not, he eats your brains. Talk about incentive to be good!

I now realize that this is exactly what he would look like...we are well on the way to scarring our kids for life!

Rosie L. said...

I should point out that at the shop where I found the bleeding-eyed bunny, there were smaller versions in packs of three. Scary enough, but EVERY SINGLE ONE had the bleeding eye! What IS this??
(Although they since fixed it up, and then took them off the shelves altogether...*sigh*)

Asta said...

I got one of the big bleeding eye bunnies too. Like Mixy the rabbit from The Ferals.

What makes bleeding bunny even more disturbing is that although it looks like meringue, it's actually marshmallow, so it wobbles when you pick it up. Terrifying!

bigSIS said...

Oh. My. Word.
Jen, I'm playing catch up here and am I glad I did. See, we're missing a cat and we have lots of rabbits around our place. Well, if they look anything like these, I think I know what kind of trouble our poor kitty ran into! EEEK!

I laughed so hard at this post! Love your blog!

Anonymous said...

That last bunny looked more like Teddy Roosevelt, or was it Churchhill?

Icey said...

Aiiiiieeeeeeee!
One, freaky.
Two, Way too funny.
Three, crying.
Four? No comment.

Red Wolf said...

These cakes remind me of the Easter bunny scene in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (aka Bill & Ted Go To Hell).

If you haven't seen it, you can find it on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGSfG7Toc6g

Anonymous said...

is anyone else reminded of lilo and stitch by that lemon-lipped one?

Sami said...

The Holy Hand Grenade! I love your pop culture references :D
The yellow CCC looks like a gremlin.

Anonymous said...

Aaaah! The bunny with the bleeding eye! oh that will give me nightmares. Meanwhile, there's also lemon lips the rabid giant, er, mouse? bear? and angry bunny sure looks PISSED at whoever bent his carrot.

meanwhile, that yellow thing with the bunny face and thick pink eyebrows I just. don't. get.

Elizabeth said...

"I soiled my armor, I was so scared!"

ROTFL

Love the Monty Python references! You made my day, Jen! :)

Crystal said...

#1 Holy Grail attack rabbin
#3 Donnie Darko rabbit