Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Chick Chicky Boom

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I don't know about you guys, but I just love scoping out all the chicks in bakeries these days.

At least, I think that's what this is. That, or a couple of apostrophes on a teeter totter.

Here's a perfectly smashing example:


Or maybe just "smashed." Heh. As you can see, the blue highlights give it "character."

Then there's the Cheater's Special:

Even using 80% plastic decor, the Wreckerator still managed to make Chickadee look like she's sitting on a gloomy gift-wrapped raincloud. Aw, Eeyore would be proud.

Say what you will about this next one; I think it's hilarious:


You do have to wonder if those chicken feet are made of solid icing, though. [head tilt] I mean, how do you get that much icing to stand up like that? And more importantly, do you think people who eat real chicken feet would find this gross? (Amy, m'dear? Care to weigh in?)

This last one is yellow and orange and was displayed next to some sketchy looking "bunnies", so you know what that means...

It's Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw, the mutant chicken head sent from the future to enslave us all!!

Fortunately, despite the fact that her bio-dome keeps her almost perfectly preserved, Dr. Bokaw's minions are nothing to crow about. Some of them can't read her chicken scratch, others felt so hen-pecked that they flew the coop, and the rest are all..well...[leaning in to whisper in your ear] chickens.



Gail D., Mandy P., Anne B., Erika N., & Lysa, egg-cellent work.
Ace said...

I actually thought the first one was pretty cute! That last one though, looks like some crazed chicken-pig.

Laura Moffitt said...

Could those feet have possibly fit inside the egg at one point? The poor chick only its feet hit a growth purt.

Steve said...

The first one looks like someone had a heart-shaped tin left over from Valentine's Day that they wanted to put to good use...

Nanny Margaret said...

With the exception of the chicken feet which is sorta cute, why would you even put those on display?? Some are really scarey.

namenlos said...

That first one looks like someone had some heart-shaped cakes left over from Valentine's Day that needed to be put to use in any way possible.

Jeremy Jones said...

The fourth cake wreck looks like a festive Sheldon from Garfield and friends

Erin said...

Brilliant on the part of the first wrecker to use all that excess yellow frosting to make wings...er, "wings". Is its beak actually open? Am I looking at red lips and orange mouth?

Shanti said...

Good god, the puns!

:D

Nevertheless, love your blog.

..::Angel::.. said...

That... thing... is hideous.

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

Awww... it's sad when the CCC is the best in the bunch... though the feet one is egg-celent :-b

Jocelyn said...

GAH!! Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head ALL DAY!! Not good - I have to go to court and try not to beat the crap out of my brother's baby mama.

They call me Cuban Pete,
I'm the king of the Rumba beat,
When I play the Maracas I go
Chick chicky boom
Chick chicky boom

I'm scared of the Bok cake.

Leslie said...

Maybe there's rice krispie treats inside those feet? I don't know how you could get the icing to stand up like that unless maybe it has a fondant core. That's just frightening.
That second cake is also a little sad...it does remind me of a squashed chicken somehow.

mim shaffer said...

I think those chicken legs are made of those weird spongy,orange candies shaped like peanuts you can only buy at the Dollar Store!

Milton said...

I'd rather have the icing chick feet than real chicken feet. Real chicken feet are almost all bone and skin - not enough meat to be worth the effort.

Alix said...

ummmmmm... mmmmm.... errrrr..

No thank you please.

Baking and Mistaking said...

Wow those chicken feet look mighty delicious.
And hear I thought people stuck to eating bunny ears on Easter.

Dorci Harris said...

Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any idea how hard it is to stifle laughter like that because the fam is still asleep???

Dr. Bokaw looks like he has some sort o' red wires hooked up to him keeping the life blood flowing.

And I dare say he needs a tissue.

Jasry said...

Let me get this out of the way: I like cake #4. You're right, it is hilarious! OK, that said, I shall now be on the lookout for Dr. Bok Bok. What was that sneaking around the corner just now?? Wait, did you hear that? It sounds like... pecking... it's getting closer... AWK!!!!!!!

Mella said...

Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get away from evil cake wrecks

Holly said...

Ooooooh. The creepy chocolate legs sticking out of the second one!

Mandy Parker said...

The 4th one looks like Sheldon from U.S. Acres/Garfield and Friends.

Anonymous said...

Funny! Those are ridiculously un-chicken-like

acpaul said...

That last one looks like something my autistic five year old could have decorated. He'd probably have done a better job.

Anonymous said...

The fourth one looks like Sheldon from the old cartoon "Garfield and Friends."
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GarfieldAndFriends

I keep looking for wrecks, but the two grocery store bakeries in town (small town) actually do a pretty good job. We got a "slight" wreck the other day- they left the "t" off of 55th on an anniversary cake, but it wasn't all that exciting...

Thanks for the laughs every day! -Becca

Sully said...

is the first one a left over from valentines day and they just re-iced it?

drgns4vr said...

All of these are remarkably... odd. I must admit I find #2 kinda cute in a punk chic way. Those blue spikes remind me of a cross between the pathetic dyed chicks of my youth and a puffer fish. Just what one wants in an Easter cake.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

The chicken feet have gotta be styrofoam.

*Crunch crunch. Ptooie!*

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Terri said...

I really need to stop looking at the site during work. That last one was hilarious.

MzHartz said...

Cupcake chick has some nice breasts ;)

And are those Big Bird's feet?

Samantha Suzuki Photography said...

I have learned not to drink my morning coffee while reading cakewrecks. Thank goodness cause that last one would've meant a new keyboard.

Little Scarf Girl said...

Yikes! Some of those are scary! :o I saw some chickie cake the other day, but I didn't think they looked too bad. Now they look great compared to your finds!

Justine said...

Oh dear! I haven't heard of Dr. Bok Bok Bakow since Brak went off the air. Adult Swim Rules!!!

Kelly said...

Those "chicken feet" look terribly inappropriate. eek.

I think the purple raincloud chicky is cute.



Kelly
www.yourbestwedding.blogspot.com

Clay Doodles said...

Good grief, those are "fowl"! LOL!

Haiku Joy said...

When beaks are rhombi
And squashed chicks hide under domes,
Time to clutch and brood.

Shannon said...

Those feet look like they're made of orange floral foam! Ewww.

webiegal said...

I'm gonna give the bakery person the benefit of the doubt on that second cake and say they have small children at home who happen to love watching "Yo Gabba Gabba". This *cake* most definitely looks Plex inspired. If that's the case -- evil genius! Parents will be harassed into buying it for TWO reasons instead of just one.

In this day and age, we parents really don't stand a chance.

The Girl in the Other Room said...

egads!

the last one is just... uh... is it just me or do those "eyes" look a bit like mouths?

just sayin'.

Emily said...

It looks like the last chicken's eyes are screaming. It is scary.

Emily

Dana said...

I can't help but wonder if a tree fell on the smashed chicken cake because those legs look like creepy halloween trees. Thank you for the laugh this morning,

Anonymous said...

Oh my...that last one is simply stunning.

And the egg with chicken feet reminds me of Sheldon from Garfield and Friends.

jengersnap said...

Looks like a few chicks were scrambled while still in the eggs. Yikes!

Jennifer said...

As far as a wreak, the chicken feet one actually is cute. Too much icing but still, rather well done.

The rest? They could put me off sweets for... I don't know... several hours at least.
Gak.

~~

Buffy said...

Dr. Bokaw looks like the severed head of a pig with jaundice.

Pip said...

The CCC cheaters special looks like it has 4 breasts!

Lauren said...

holy cr@p! that last one is mighty scary!

thanks, as ALWAYS, for the laughs!

Hyena Overlord said...

I like the chicken feet one.

but I think Dr. Bokaw is related to Mr. Angry. They're next door neighbours on Isotope Avenue in Chernobyle. I think they baked the first two cakes.

wv fuggess...I like the chicken feet cake even though it was executed with a little fuggess.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

The egg with it's legs out is Sheldon from Garfield!

Patricia said...

You know, the first picture is looking distinctly heart shaped. I’m thinking somebody didn’t get rid of their Valentine stuff. As for the last picture, I’m getting a lizard vibe for some reason. Must be the long red tongue out of the “beak”.

Miranda said...

Someone's got to say it. Might as well be me. Between these smashed chicks and the angry/deformed rabbits from h3ll, it's obvious the wreckorators have acquired a potent stash of "vitamin A" and are tripping b@lls.

Trish said...

Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw...Bwahhahahaha! Too funny!! The egg with the protruding feet is rather amusing, too, but bok bok bokaw takes the, uhumm, cake! (I'm so punny!) The rest of 'em just suck.

Happy Keaster!

JRSikorski said...

The last one reminds me of the shape-shifter protector she-woman in an early 2nd season ep of Star Trek Next Gen. SCARY!! :)

Amy said...

Ooooh...bad cakes. LOL I've never seen chickens like those!

~Amy B

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

lol i really like the creepy head thing at the end :P lol bok bok bokaw! oh no!

sues2u2 said...

My eyes, my eyes! Someone really wants to be on cake wrecks quite badly, don't they?

Anonymous said...

I think the first one looks like the Jekyll and Hyde Tweety bird from the cartoon! Poor Sylvester. And why is the CCC cake chick wearing a flight helmet?

Love your blog, it's laugh out loud funny.

Rosie Hawthorne said...

Heh. The second one reminds me of Guy Fee-yet-ee.

Giusi. said...

FLMAO!!! omg these are great!!

HAHAHA how are they selling these things in stores??

omg.. they NEVER HAVE STUFF Like this in any of the stores near me! lmao i don't think anyone in Toronto would DREAM of putting something like that on their shelives!
: //

but i'm STILL SEARCHING!!
:)))))

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or were the bunny cakes from the Easterly Wind post more recognizable as the source animal than these chickies?

sour said...

AAAAAGH i'm going to have nightmares about that last one.
that is horrifying. i'm pretty sure i could do better, and i've never decorated a cake in my life!

Matt C. said...

I think the character cake is meant to be the title character from the little kids show Peep and the Big Wide World. A horribly mangled and inexplicably toothpaste-topped version anyway.

GA said...

Those chicken feet are most definitely made out of orange Circus Peanuts.

msyendor said...

Col. Sanders wants to cook his goose // But Psycho Chicken's still on the loose // They caught him down in Ohio // Cut off his head and put in the oven // Put him in a box right next to a roll // Someone took him home ?? // Ate him for lunch and he tasted real fine // But the guy who ate him just lost his mind!

Psycho Chicken! Better run, run, run, run away!

(Ahh, the classics ...)

veggievixen said...

hehe so adorable.

Suzanne Dargie said...

The chicken feet look like they're molded out of marshmallow.....that or Crayola Model Magic....

Yvette said...

I think the egg one was supossed to be Sheldon from Garfield. I think it's cute :)

joyce said...

chicken for supper...

Anonymous said...

the last one reminds me of the horrible troma flick, 'poultrygeist'. [shiiiiiiver]

Rachael said...

You are so freaking hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Never underestimate the power of the CHICKEN PEOPLE! They're out there and they're organizing and if you thought that sissyazz rabbit thing on MP was bad just you waaaaiiit till you see what the chicken will do to you!

These poorly executed bits of sugary fluff are only put out to distract you from Dr. Bok Bok's true purpose. OK OK so the big feet were a bit of a fluff-up, but we're (oops - THEY'RE) working on it.

Elfie

D.B. Echo said...

I agree with Anonymous 11:38 AM - that first one looks like the monsterized Tweety Bird!

And could those cheerfully orange feet be made from - ulp - CIRCUS PEANUTS?

Bree said...

Say what you will...the first cookie/cake is adorable. That's right, I went there.

Maria said...

The last puts me in mind of Bill Cosby's chicken heart before the careless janitor knocked the vat over and it grew to 6 feet 6 inches and ate the entire eastern seaboard. Whatever you do, don't release it from the dome!

DB Impressions. said...

Wow...that last one um...takes the cake. Some of the rest of them aren't SO bad though...

Katie said...

I actually like the chicken feet one. reminds me of that one character on the garfield and friends show. you know, the part with all the farm animals and there was that egg that never quite hatched all the way? just chicken feet running around with an egg on top?

i see what you mean about the icing, though. yikes!! but i don't know that it's quite a "wreck". maybe not a sweet, though, either. do you have a median category?

Maya said...

Dang, CCC Chick is STACKED!

Kerri said...

The first one looks like it was a re-decorated Valentine's Day cake. Ick.

Nakia said...

Haiku Joy -

I love your daily clever haikus. Well done!

This whole entry was hilarious!

Linda said...

*rolling with laughter!!! Love your commentary as usual!
Those chicky cakes are just awful, but I kind of like the egg one with the circus peanut molded feet. YEP circus peanuts..definitely circus peanuts.

knitorpurl said...

The CCC seemed rather well-endowed, don't you think? And the heart one actually seemed to have possibilities- but without the apostrophe eyes, the odd mouth, and... okay, maybe not!

WV: laven- I am just laven my head off at these poor cakes!

StuffCooksWant said...

Isn't it great when you can actually re-use that heart-shaped pan from Valentine's Day (cake #1)???

The rest, eeek. Glad my baby didn't have feet like that...labor would have been much more painful.

Angelina Talley said...

That first cake totally had me thinking Gossamer from Bugs Bunny (http://www.funbumperstickers.com/images/Gossamer.gif)

I hate to admit but I actually kind of liked the CCC - but maybe it was the plastic that kept it from looking so goopy as CCCs usually do.

Erin said...

I actually thought the first one might be a leftover heart from Valentine's day....maybe not...

A. B. England said...

Oh man, all I could think with the last sheet cake with the feet sticking out of an Easter egg, was the birth of Big Bird.

Dara said...

That's a good way to scare the Easter spirit out of any kid!

Anna said...

have you seen this album on flickr?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/designer_cakes_by_effie/

Scritzy said...

I once had a pet chicken. I find the first cakes insulting to poor Henry's memory. Bok Bok Bokaw especially.

The chicken-feet cake, on the other hand, is hilarious!

And I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who started singing "Cuban Pete/Sally Sweet." Chicky boom indeed!

Word verification: flernu. A novice decorator in a French bakery who is just learning how to do icing flowers.

Anonymous said...

I looovvve #2! I would totally buy that.

Ellie

Anonymous said...

Re #2: Chicken little was right. Apparently, the sky really WAS falling...

Mike said...

It's not a cloud. It's a gift-wrapped fart!

:dies:

MommyAmy said...

omg... that last pic made me spit out my soup!

Another ruined keyboard... all thanks to you. Totally worth it! lol

Distressful Damsel said...

The first cake looks like a recycled Valentine's Day cake. Probably a little on the crunchy side by now.

the letter Bee said...

That first one looks like it was frosted with mustard!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

The first one is actually rather cute (though not exactly what I would expect from a professional) but the rest are just a few Cokes short of a six-pack. 0_o

tree gardeners of uptown said...

reminds me of monster tweety

http://www.wwagallery.com/images/WBC/WBC52.jpg

Anonymous said...

Lady fingers? I'm gonna guess lady fingers and a crapton of orange icing.

MalMal said...

The first one really strikes me as what a blow-up chicken would look like... if someone was sick enough to make a blow-up chicken....

wv: bating. the wreakerators are bating 1000 today!
(There was another place I could go with that, along the lines of the blow-up chicken... but I didn't)

Anonymous said...

The last one reminded me of Chickenstein from "A Pup Named Scooby Doo."

The big feet cake is adorable though, despite looking like Big Bird got crushed by a falling giant egg from outer space.

---Bree

Sheila said...

The last one is like a yellow pig with too much eye make-up!!! :D

vix said...

LOL...love the commentary on the last one. It was very punny.
I was waiting for the rimshots--badahmpbump

Nancy Toby said...

I was half expecting to see a toe tag on #3,

Laurabeth said...

What in the world was that last one....scary!!!

Stephanie in Shanghai said...

I like eating chicken feet (although duck's feet have more meat)...but I would be hard pressed to eat an entire icing chicken foot. No sugar coma for me please!!

Anonymous said...

#4 is definately a pig in disguise. :P

Mike said...
It's not a cloud. It's a gift-wrapped fart!

:dies:

April 8, 2009 3:59 PM


Bwahahaha!

Charlene said...

Boy, those chicken feet sure do look male, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

peewee said...

oh, that last one...biodome..AHAHAHHAHAHHHA! Seriously. You need to do a claymation show featuring Biodome Chick and popped eyes the sailor blobs as her sidekicks. Oh, and that evil bunny. HAHAHAH. Evil cake creatures UNITE!

Christa said...

Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw??...OMG I almost fell out of the chair laughing!

MommaD said...

Well, since the ccc has an eggshell "hat" that is the same color as the bowtied monstrosity, could it be the first incredibly lumpy egg he sits on?

Anonymous said...

Well what do you know, even CCC's get quadraboob!

Jennifer said...

You are so funny Jen!! Thanks for the laugh.

nikkil said...

your commentary is absolute genius! will be telling all my friends about dr bokaw :D
keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Feet like that CAN be made by icing, but let's just say to get the right consistency, you don't want to eat it when it hardens (unless you have the dentist on speed-dial!!) Amy

toadslick said...

Ah, your commentary had my laughing aloud!

Haiku Joy said...

Thank you, Nakia;
Wrecky poems defend me
From office drama!

Anonymous said...

The second one looks like what Sponge Bob Square Pants would look like if he became a chick.

Erin said...

I think the first one was cute. I liked the smashed one kind of too. But that last one, looked like a yellow demon pig

monokromeart said...

Ohh the blobby chicken reminds me of the chick from Usavich..(in the middle of the picture linked below..)

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3058/2977823688_3372a06152.jpg

Baho said...

I love this page and have been following for over a year now; excellent, excellent!

The first chick cake reminds me of the episode of Looney Tunes with Sylvester and the Jekyll and Hyde spoof where Tweety turns into Hyde.

Sorry for the cartoon analogy...it just really fit for me.

Take care!

little gator said...

to quote Bill Cosby on the first one:

come one chicken heart, scare me to death!

Anonymous said...

Poultrygeist! :O

Amanda M said...

I actually think the first one is adorable! :p

Lady Baker said...

I have enough fun with these that it's only just to share my 5 year old's comment. I try to keep fun things he says in a file titled, "cute antics":


• Looking at the final cake picture over my shoulder and proclaiming, "It's half dead!" Continuing on after a little pondering, he commented "It's half chicken and half car." Finally, he concluded "It doesn't look like a chicken. It looks like a pig snout."

Kate said...

Dr. Bok Bok BokAW!! Oh god, I laughed so hard, I think I damaged some of my internal organs.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking the chicken feet are circus peanuts coated with frosting.

Stillapill

amy said...

Has anyone in this bakery ever even seen a chicken?

Seraphim9 said...

Haha, Bree, I was thinking the same thing! Except it was Big Bird squashed by a giant Easter egg sign.

And, IMHO, if I made a cake like this I would probably use frosted cookies as the feet and so that's what I vote is what those feet are made of.

Anonymous said...

I ROFLOLed so hard I cried this morning about Dr. Bok in the dome. Just what I need before trudging off to work. I love the geeky commentary. She looks like an evil reanimated lab specimen from Futurama or something.

SeƱor said...

Poor Big Bird!

:-(

Angela said...

I think some of these chick cakes were modeled after the Famous San Diego Chicken. Check him out: http://imgsrv.1055triplem.com/image/wmmm2/UserFiles/Image/Suttin/famous_chicken.gif

writermomof5 said...

LOVED it! I just don't get the lambs...
Thanks for the laugh!

Lizzi K. said...

For some reason I am reminded of the robotic turkey from Aqua Teen Hunger Force:
"In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets...from a monkey. The French craved it and as a result, Turkey became the only food source for France...which is now called RoboFrance29. I was later killed by the chickens. So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens."

Aileenah said...

I'm really kind of weirded out by that "cheater's special"... Not because of the plastic parts, but because it's got what looks like four really awkward boobies, and some messed up chicken genitalia. Creepy.

ian said...

is it just me, or does dr. bok bok look a lot like a guild navigator from the 1984 version of dune?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1c/Edric.png

he's even protected in a nice transparent dome.

Lynn said...

The one with the big legs sticking out of the cake is cute and made me laugh but that last one looks like a transporter accident on Star Trek !

lisa said...

It looks like some strange yellow cousin of ALF's.

Julie said...

This is still my favorite Cake Wrecks post. It's the one I use to introduce people to the blog.