Monday, February 2, 2009

Wreck-Slingers

Monday, February 2, 2009

Continuing in our superhero series, let's take a gander at the many and varied ways the arachnid-loving aerialist Spider-Man is maligned in icing:

Ok, so he's looking pretty good on the free mini-poster they included (the better to explain the cake, perhaps?), but what's going on with the figurines?

[tsking] "Spidey, have you been battling the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man again? You have, haven't you? [shaking head] I don't care if MJ IS stuck in that gargoyle: you have to learn to stick to your OWN movie plot lines!"


If we have to ask Batman why he's so serious, we need to ask Spidey why he's so worried. Could it be he's puzzling over what a happy "Birth 2ay" is?

Here he looks less worried and more...er...skinned and stretched:

I bet this is the "cake" Doc Ock would like for his birthday: after all, it's a CCC, so it's already inherently evil. [wicked grin]

And speaking of stretched skin, thank goodness this next one is "for display only":

Tell me the top of that cake doesn't look like an infectious skin disease. Go on.


Sheesh, Spider-Man is popular! Stay tuned for Wreck-Slingers, Part 2.
Kristi said...

Is it just me or is that ccc actually a very nice rendering of Spider Man's grandma?

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

I thought the third cake said "Happy Birth Lay, James".

My guess is if James is old enough to get laid and is still requesting Spiderman cakes, it's probably not going to happen.

Doublebanker said...

Love the Spidey cakes..can't wait for my boy to grow up and get something like that!

My Not Me Monday post

Cat walking on water?

Kara said...

Wow, I've been reading Dark Tower too long. When that title showed up on my news feed, I was all like 'Hile and well met, wreck-slinger, long days and pleasant nights to you.' Ahum. Yeah. Spidey, too. *blush*

Sherry said...

Spidey #2 needs some big crocodile tears rolling down. Awwww.

Danielle said...

Are the two weird gargoyles supposed to be the eagles on the Chrysler Building? 'Cause no.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Aw, poor vacant Annie-Spidey. He looks sad. :(

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Baking and Mistaking said...

Oh its so sad when CCCs go so wrong. That cake is the only one with decent frosting and decorating, however its just such a horrible shape.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Haha that worried one cracks me up! Those eyes are hilarious!

writtenwyrdd said...

That CCC reminds me of the Doctor Who character (you've mentioned her before) with so much beautification surgery there's nothing left but a face stretched like a tanning hide.

chelizz said...

About the first and last photos: UGH. I hated making those cakes as a decorator. There are so many stupid steps and the rarely come out right...and, that bottom photo isn't accurate...the sprinkles are supposed to be a hideous black color...

As for Spidey on a gargoyle...well, we just did what DecoPac told us to do...

Leah said...

The second cake (third photo) might be an attempt to "show" the Spider-Sense in action. It's been a while since I hit the comic store, but I think that's similar to how the artists draw Spidey getting a warning.

Still ugly, though.

Mella said...

At least the last cakes look like cake.
I'm on a mission to only say nice things today

Christina said...

The icing on the last cake there kind of made me want to swear off all things sugary for a while.

Sarah P. said...

You is awesome. LOVE it.

The Accidental Parisian said...

Maybe cakes 2 and 3 are before and after shots of Spiderman's brow lift and botox?

Brittany said...

i never realized how bad the CCC is... in fact, in my mind i always imagined it to be a good idea, since i'm a cc fan but i dont always like cake (i'm strange, i know) but the more ccc wrecks i see on this blog the more i realize cake decorators need to be qualified artists, or just people with a taste for aesthetics before they get hired!

Cyberrblue (Colleen) said...

Ug, the last one looks like scabs on that cake, no way I would eat that!

I love the Ghost busters reference, I agree, it does look like he is attacking the gargoyle...strange!

I think that cake decorators shouldn't be allowed to make a theme cake like that unless they've seen the thing it's referencing. Like it's so hard to watch a movie? Just do it so you don't embarrass yourself...

Colleen (cyberrblue.wordpress.com)

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

The James cake is also way off center. The right side is squished and has three times as many tingly spidey sense lines than the left!

The for display only cake is confusing. Where does the cake stop in the back? And the edges are all broken off and ugly.

Lora said...

My 3 yo walked in, looked at the computer and asked; "Why is Spiderman so sad?"

Why do you think he's so so sad, sweetie?

"Maybe because the 'Sand-guy' defeated him."

Where is the 'Sand-guy'?

"He's on a different cake-like a GOOD one."

Even the poor kid knows it's a wreck.

Jayunderscorezero said...

(Warning: nerdy pet-peeve approaching)

Grr, it's Spider-Man, not Spiderman.

Craftastrophe said...

OMG worried spiderman...rofl!

From Single to Married said...

seriously - Cake Wrecks is one of the few things that can get me actually laughing out loud when reading it. You're hysterical!

Trevor said...

Is it just me, or does the CCC version look a lot like Cassandra wearing a Spiderman mask?

The Lunar Fox said...

Hmm.. so it is Spider-Man. Now that's a weird little detail I've never payed attention to.

As for cake #2, Laure already mentioned the spidey sense. Which only makes the cake funnier in my opinion!

The baker might be trying to tell who ever bought that cake something.

jackie31337 said...

Baking and Mistaking said... Oh its so sad when CCCs go so wrong.

Is it possible for a CCC to go right?

DangGina said...

Don't hate me, but the "worried/sad/scared" Spidey cake is one I actually kinda like.

I'm so glad you mentioned the infectious skin disease for that last cake...yeah, it totally looks like boiled, blistered skin. EEEEEW!

wolfmom said...

OH OH OH...these are so sad. I'm also not gettin' the Ghostbuster's crossover thing with the gargoyle.

WV: expli...can anyone expli why these cakes are so awful?

Crystal said...

I know you probably have recieved your fair share of awards but I think your blog is fabulous and am passing on the fabulous blog award to you!

http://crystalsaidwhat.blogspot.com/2009/02/oh-i-got-award-i-feel-so-special.html

Willis Carrier said...

That CCC looks like Eric Stoltz in the movie "Mask"

KathyD said...

As soon as my 5 year-old saw the "sad" Spiderman, she asked me, "Is Spiderman sad? Why is he sad?"

Lindsey said...

Seriously, that infectious disease cake makes me vomit a little.

Kelly said...

Cakes 2 and 3 totally look like aliens. The cake decorators should switch careers to the science fiction industry!

Olathe Real Estate Agent

Becs said...

Hello! I am new to your blog and I absolutely love it! Great job!!!

Kisa said...

Wow, no way cake 2 (3rd pic) is pro..
really? I mean, how hard is it to do a Spider-man cake?
I've done Spider-man and a "Spider-Bear" and both look better than these "Professional" cakes.
Yikes.
Well at least I think so, and so did my Spider-man loving daughter.

Tara aka T said...

wow...truly hard to believe these are 'professional' cakes. I made a Spidey cake ad I don't think he looked nearly this bad.

Krista Smith said...

I love your posts! This is one of my favorites. I can't wait till the kids are big enough (like six or so) to realize how bad the cake is.

cynthia said...

Your website made me laugh so hard i cried. congrats. it's been a while since that's happened, and now my roommates think i'm insane.

:D

MamaZam said...

I love sad Spider-Man!! Too funny. And the huge chin on the CCC...it looks like Jay Leno is wearing the Spidey mask!

I heart you and your blog, Jen.

Lizzy Leigh said...

Regarding the horrid CCC...seems to me ole Spidy has the gout!

Allen said...

Did anyone else notice the ON/OFF switch on the side of the gargoyle? I hate to imagine....

Lizardbreath said...

I am really tempted to submit some of my own wrecks...just to see what you would say. I mean, what decoratore hasn't had a wreck or two(or three, or...).

donna@stuffcookswant said...

What can I really say? SO funny! Poor Spidey.

Nancy B said...

I would like to adopt the melancholy Spider-Man cake. Is there a Sally Struther's toll-free number I can call to support it for just 50 cents a day?

Redd said...

I think the first gargoyle/spidy took a nosedive into the frosting, and didn't get cleaned off. It otherwise looks like the same bit of plastic flotsam that's on the last cake.

The CCC made me sigh. Why do decorators insist on skinning Spider-man's face? Why?!

wv,farffre: The Spider-man cakes are farffre from the mark.

XOXO said...

It's not a skin inf...
oh nevermind.
It totally is.

TeaLady said...

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your site. Besides the fact that the cakes are awful. Your 'remarks' are hilarious. Keep it up, Jenn, keep it up.

ksaldria said...

Emo spidey!

chelizz said...

Cyberblue, in the decorator's defense, the cakes with the gargoyles are ALL DecoPac's fault. Trust me, I've seen the Spider-Man movies (even that horrendous Spider-Man 3 movie) and I would have given my star tip to not have to make one of these horrors ever again...but what the customer wants is what they get...even if it's awful...

And, honestly, at least on the first cake, that's pretty much what it's supposed to look like...minus the wavy "gutters" and the icing on Spidey...obviously the horrendously top-heavy "action figure" (whose only action is that the eyes on the gargoyle glow red...creepy much?) toppled over...if a decorator placed it on the cake instead of handing it to the customer in its packaging, shame on them...otherwise, it's really the customer's fault for crappy placement...

Leigha G said...

Love the Ghostbusters reference!!!

My son's birthday is next month, and we plan on getting a spiderman cake, and if it turns out like this at least I can have a sense of humor about it!

Wreck on!!!

Anonymous said...

in the cartoon series at least, spider man goes to a ledge and talks to the same gargoyle. it's like his thinking spot.

Morgan said...

I think the gargoyle is from the second movie? First? I don't know, maybe it's some deep spider man symbolism.

(NO I DIDN'T USE THE HYPHEN. I AWAIT YOUR NERDY REBUKE.)

Titanis walleri said...

"If we have to ask Batman why he's so serious, we need to ask Spidey why he's so worried."
Well, he DID sell his marriage to Satan recently...

Aaron T. said...

I think what you're identifying as a "free mini-poster" in the first photo is actually the cardboard box that the cake came in.

LindaBudz said...

The third one looks like Spider Man meets the Grinch.

sendingtheclowns said...

I'm stifling my gag reflex for this special announcement:

Alex is THREE years old.
It's SPIDER-MAN!
Loads of bright red and blue SUGARY GUNK!!
On a CAKE!!!
With FIGURINES!!!! (I bet Alex even messed with those guys before the party started...awww!)
I'm sure a grand time was had by little Alex, on his third birthday.
What else matters?
So, as Baretta would say, "And that's the name of THAT tune!"
=^~~^=

oasisob1 said...

You're in the telegraph!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/4401631/Cake-Wrecks-when-professional-cakes-go-horribly-hilariously-wrong.html

50sgal said...

This is an hilarious site! Having time travelled back to 1955 for the duration of this year, I think some of my own cakes for various celebrations may appear as hilarious, though quite serious here in middle class america 1955. Fun fun...

Jennifer said...

OMG, how funny that you posted this now... my son's 4th birthday is tomorrow. I made a Spiderman cake for the kid party this past Sat, Spiderman cupcakes for his daycare today, and will do another Spiderman-themed cake for the family party this Saturday. After seeing these... mine are pretty darn good, LOL!

~Jenn~

Sophia Nightengale said...

Ode to a Spiderman Cake Wreck

They put an itsy bitsy spider onto a wrecky cake,

Down came the airbrush to see what s^%* it could make.

The came the Wreckporter laughing her head off,

And they put it up on Cake Wrecks so all of us could scoff.

Sing to the tune of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider"

Anonymous said...

That middle Spidey actually looks like The Tick wearing a Spiderman mask.

John Seavey said...

Am I the only person who thought that maybe the first Spidey was hanging around a part of Manhattan with a large, um...pigeon population?

Hulyen said...

"Am I the only person who thought that maybe the first Spidey was hanging around a part of Manhattan with a large, um...pigeon population?"

...wow, that's MUCH more family friendly than my first thought on seeing that. <.<;;

houseofpaula said...

I think the CCC looks like Dr. Zoidberg on Futurama.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Zoidberg

Funny Stuff

April said...

just let me say as a cake decorator myself..i cant move im laughing so hard!!! but ive seen such done by the lady that proceeded me. which is probably why i took her place =] she used the plastic "happy birthday" then wrote a name after it. no im not kidding you

.beee. said...

I LOVE your blog! I find myself laughing so hard at your remarks on each of the cakes! Hilarious! Thanks for a wonderful blog!!!

Melissa Kirk said...

My husband would like to point out that the worried Spidey isn't as bad as you think, since (he says) the lines are Spidey Sense lines, hence the concern so evident on his Spidey face.

Karina said...

These cakes are most definitely wrecktastic! I made a Spider Man cake for my son's 4th birthday. He loved it! There's a pic of it here http://picasaweb.google.com/pinkelastik/DropBox?authkey=Gv1sRgCKnW8uCC3pmV4gE#5437409600742882338

Hopefully it won't be classed as a wreck :-)

BTW, love the blog, I've only been reading for a couple of days and I've been looking through the archive. Thanks for the laughs!

Karina