Friday, February 6, 2009

Wreck-Slingers, Part 2

Friday, February 6, 2009

Aaaand here he is: the man of the hour, our hero of the day, the one, the only...Spider-Man!!


Uh, Spider-Man? Hello?

Dang it, I guess we just missed him. Or, judging by the shape that cake is in, maybe we missed him a few weeks ago. Ew.

He's got to be around her somewhere, though; look:

Wow, that "web" is a real piece of...work. Yeah. I particularly like the baby-blue border; very...heroic.

Oh, wait, I think I see him over there - helloo-ooo! Spider-Man!

My, he's looking rather moody today, isn't he? And on all that chipper baby-blue and urine-yellow icing, too. Hey, Spidey, being controlled by an evil symbiote is no excuse to ignore proffered fist bumps, alright? So be nice.

Ah, and there he goes, slinking off again:

Dude, you could probably just walk across the... uh, say, what IS that? An electrical box? Gymnasium floor? What?

Ok, time for the Wreck-Slingers big finish! Ready? Aaand...


Jazz Hands!!


Thanks to Super Wreckporters Clinton D., Lora M., Jennifer S., Nicole O., & Sarah C.!
Justfrosting said...

I guess the decorators wanted to just phone it in for the day. Or maybe these are "5pm on Friday" cakes.

It should really be a crime.

(Secretly hoping you post my iron man cake soon :))

Alix said...

Jazz Hands!! LOL

Jen, one would assume, having never seen your blog, that there is just not enough material in the world to keep a cake wrecks theme going. THANK YOU for proving them wrong each and every day.

Love ya sistah.

KatieN said...

LOVE the Jazz Hands...Look, it's "Just Spidey." :o)

Anonymous said...

Bwahahaha Jazz Hands!!!! That cracks me up!

Double A Training said...

Oh that is so sad! I need to find a picture of a cake my mom and her friend did for my brother when he was 5ish. It was Batman...I don't remember it being that bad but now I'm not so sure.........will find and scan for you.




www.badfirstdates.blogspot.com

Marisa said...

This is one of the funniest I have seen. I love those jazz hands!!!

Marisa H.

Blythe said...

Spirit Fingers!

kerry said...

they were all pretty wreck-tastic, but my god, the jazz hands just killed me!

maryjack said...

I love the Jazz Hands! LOL!

Shawna said...

Wow, they just keep getting worse and worse. What IS up with that web? Surely you would think someone that decorates cakes for a living could do a web...

Maybe not.

Angie said...

That second cake reminds me of the spiders on drugs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc). I'm guessing that cake was made by a meth spider.

Spazzy Preggo said...

Haha thats hilarious. The 2nd one looks like a malformed bear-trap! Watch out!

Erin said...

Perhaps Sage's cake would make more sense if we all put on our 3D glasses?

piecemeal people said...

I just started reading your blog in the last week or so, and what is WITH all the Spiderman wrecks?!? There's just something about him that makes cake-decorating nearly impossible, apparently.

"JAZZ HANDS!" killed me, by the way.

The Courteous Chihuahua said...

LMAO at Cake #2!!! It reminds me of the Spiders on Drugs experiments. I think that one was done by the sleeping pill spider.

Tameson said...

Jazz Hands! That's great!

Baking and Mistaking said...

How could you consider having a cake without jazz hands???

Bakingandmistaking.blogspot.com

HorribleLicensePlates said...

cake 2 = cocoon

Spencer said...

That third one is just god awful. What is it supposed to be? Can someone please help a dumb Michigan girl figure out what it means?

The Jazz hands are way too funny though. Yikes.

Rebekka said...

Love the Jazz hands lol


I shall take a risk in sounding too blonde now, but I can't find your e-mail, I'd like to send in a photo of a wreck. :)

kara said...

OK the third one? Who is the guy in the background? And the giant 3D fist coming out of the 2D photo? Classy.

http://cookeatreadsleep.blogspot.com/

Fluffy Cow said...

JAZZ HANDS!!! hee hee hee

I'll be giggling at that all day!

WV- aphiping

I'm not payin' aphiping thing for thet phiping cake.

Heather B. said...

I saw the price on the third cake. They want $35 for that? $35is not a bad price for a well made cake considering the materials and time put in but that is not a well made cake. Was that a " we started a yellow brick road but it didn't go well so we threw Spiderman on there" cake?

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Wow, these cakes are nowhere near as funny without your commentary. You are truly a wit! It's not the cakes Jen, it's you that's funny.

Jon & Anna said...

Ahahahaha! Jazz hands!!! You killed with that one.

Anonymous said...

Sage is a word originating from 2chan. It is used to reply to a post without bumping it, and has become a popular Internet meme.

That's your geek moment of the day!

Lildonbro said...

Aw that last cake is cute...like a baby spiderman doing Jazz Hands which makes it all the more hilarious!!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Can't wait to see your wonder woman series!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

Cake for Breakfast said...

Hahahaha! Jazz Hands! Hahahahaha. Awesome Jen.

jengersnap said...

Poor Spidey!

"Manager's Special"...and the wreckorator was too!

Badahbam.

Or not.

Carol said...

The Canadian in me says that the cake before the Jazz Hands cake is Spiderman in a curling bonspeil. HURRY HARD, SPIDEY!! HURRY HARD!

Michelle said...

Bahahahaha - Jazz hands!

Anonymous said...

Looks like cake 1 is actually missing the plastic piece from cake 4...Maybe Spidey got bored after a week on cake 1 and swung over to cake 4...

Anonymous said...

After checking in day after day to this blog, it hasn't ceased to amaze me that these poorly decorated cakes are even attempted to be sold. I mean, do people ACTUALLY buy them? Who are they hiring? What stores/bake shops are making these?

DangGina said...

I daresay Spider Man drank HEAVILY before spinning THAT web...

The one where he's crawling across the floor makes me laugh out loud; the stance is so much less impressive horizontally...

And the "jazz hands" Spider Man--something about his eyes--reminds me of those darned "Precious Moments" characters. I was unaware they started drawing Spidey. :)

Miranda said...

LOL WUT

Whoa. Those are truly awful.

Anonymous said...

ROFL

Jazz Hands!!!!!

Spidey the Musical!

My daughter Sage loves that the last one has her name on it! That just makes it even funnier.

FreedomFirst said...

The only thing that comes to mind is your tag line. "Oh-so-ugly."

Jennifer said...

"Slinking across the gym floor" Spidey looks like he's Curling.

From Single to Married said...

oh my goodness. That was hysterical! Love the jazz hands!

Laura Moffitt said...

I am going to be laughing all day because of the 'Jazz Hands' priceless

Charlotte said...

Wow....I truly did not know you could wreck a spidey cake... That's awesome :P

Thanks for sharing!!!

angelsroy33 said...

OMG! I just found your (awesome,hysterical) blog from Big Time Fancy, and I can't get enough. You should do a book, I swear,...too funny. Some of these are scary funny,...hard to believe people are that,...well,...that,...stupid? or airheaded?,...(don't mean to be so mean,-sorry.) I'm sending this blog to ALL my family and friends. Keep up all the entertainment,...and think about a book!

Alyson said...

Oh, jazz hands, *whew*. I thought he was flipping me off.

Kristi said...

Manager's special? Is that supposed to help it sell? Or is the manager wanting to get fired?

Bryna said...

Jazz hands. HA!

The Warden said...

responding to Kara:

The guy in the background is Sandman Spiderman's nemisis in the last movie. Though that does not excuse the pee-yellow frosting on his side of the cake.

KathyD said...

Jazz Hands!!

Awesome.

Every time I need a laugh to day I'm going to think of that.

Krusho said...

I have to ask about "Jazz Hands." That is a pan sold for the home decorator by a not-so-secret corporate giant that has collected a lot of my money for that stuff.

Are you sure that last one is a professional cake?

I'm just sayin', because I have that pan hanging on the wall in my kitchen. Now I can't walk into that room without thinking,
"Just Spidey!"
LOL Thanks for that. :)

Debbi said...

*Snort*

Forget giving me sprinkles. I want me some jazz hands!!!

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Snigger Fam said...

Wow. It looks like Spidey is climbing across an iceberg floating on a football field with a lake next to it.

Jamie said...

I've made the last one at least 3 times (I have 2 boys), but I'll never be able to make it again with a straight face. Jazz hands!

mizanchan said...

Hey! I saw that fourth one on a Flickr page when I was looking up Spiderman cakes. The version I saw was a Wal-Mart cake with him climbing up the side of a building. Only thing was, the building was sideways (as it is in that cake), so it looks like Spidey's doing some really bizarre Yoga.

Great finds here, Jen!

StuffCooksWant said...

Jazz hands...kills me! And what is that in the corner..."Sage"? Sage doesn't even get a "Happy 5th Birthday Sage" or a "Good Luck with Your Retirement Sage". Poor Sage.

dameruth said...

LOL! The first thing I thought of when I saw the second cake was the experiments with putting spiders on drugs and seeing the webs they weave. I was going to post a URL, but someone upthread beat me to it.

It would be fun to try and guess what the decorator was on by comparing the images . . . I mean, *nobody* decorates a cake that way unless they're stoned. Srsly.

msyendor said...

considering that Cake #3 is an ice cream cake, I'll stay off the yellow snow side. Gimmee a slice of Spidey on Ice.

WV: pronci -- a ponzi scheme involving shellfish

Jenny said...

It looks like a wrecker of moderate skill got ambitious and tried a rather difficult perspective drawing. I award him an 'A' for the effort, though the result does not pass muster.

Amy said...

Urine-yellow. Yuck. That's just wrong. But then, so are those cakes. LOL
~Amy B.

Abby Normal said...

Ow! Ow! Ow! Hot coffee in the sinuses...

Jazz hands got me.

Kerri said...

Jeez.. it's a building he's crawling across. Can't you tell?? The sky is just lying down on the left side. I mean, the cloud drawn out in white gives it away totally!

Hurray for horizontal day!

Denise said...

I'm LMAO at jazz hands!

Now I can't get rid of the mental image of Spidey dancing to the theme song waggling his hands all about.

Anonymous said...

Hi- I think I somewhow accidentally removed a photo from your post about hunting-themed wedding cakes- hope you can replace it- it was the stump with a heart carved in it with cartridge shells scattered around- i wanted to share it with a freind and somehow accidentally pushed a button and it disappeared- i didnt know that was possible- and amybe now it just wont show on my computer- but if it did somehow erase the photo off your blog, i'm sorry and I hope you can add it back in-- thanks!!

Sinainn said...

He looks like a mer-man...Is that a tail? Or an arm?

Ponygirl said...

The little suction cup feet on the fourth cake make me think an identical one was supposed to be on the first. (See the two circle divots and the toe mark?)

janed21 said...

Jazz hands!?! hahahahahaha LOVE IT!

drgns4vr said...

I have looked at the cake with Spidey creeping across the frozen plastic about four times now. It still looks like white adhesive tape strips holding it all down to the cake board. But the little snowman cookie in the background is cute.
I'm so glad I'm not a Spiderman fan.

Paula said...

ROFLOLPIMP! LOVE IT...jazz hands...best comment EVAH!

kyooty said...

OH JaZz hands! that had me rolling! heheh

emma said...

Yeah, I also have that 'Jazz Hands' cake pan.

Honestly, though, I think it might look better when I make it...

Brittany said...

I've decided that I should become a cake decorator, because you obviously don't need a lot of training, or any skill, or good vision... as long as i dont have to bake the cake, although that would add fun fodder to your blog... hmmm now to find a walmart that will hire me with no experience... hehe my sister's mother-in-law makes cakes for my nephew's birthdays... cake for 1st birthday was elmo (amazing, looked professional -- lots of red icing and perfect detail to make him look like it was really elmo)... for his 3rd birthday he got a pirate cake with backyardigans islands (special request by the birthday boy) and they were amazing... i will have to send it -- shows that non-pros can be better than "pros" sometimes!

Suzanne Dargie said...

It seems everywhere I've gone for the past week, I've been hearing the term "Jazz Hands".....eerie...or was it recently on SNL?

Holy Cow! The verification word is :
billion
What're the odds?

Evonne said...

Don't know what the decorator did there, but Spidey is SUPPOSED to look like he is climbing a wall. I have no clue what that is supposed to be.
New Publix Decorator, maybe?

linz said...

*chuckle...*chuckle...*then...

JAZZ HANDS!--->eyes welling up with tears i am laughing so hard!

thank you so much for guaranteed belly laughs everyday!

Goddess of Madness said...

The last one I don't think is professional.... I have that cake pan it's a Wilton one.

janet2buns said...

WHAT is it about a cake that made someone think "Hmmmm....this cake needs a fire hydrant..." Fire hydrant = dog urine, remember??

Anonymous said...

In defense of the third and fourth ones...

1. The third one is a Baskin Robbins cake, which mean's it's an ice cream cake. I work at a Baskin Robbins as a cake decorator and let me tell you, ice cream cakes are MUCH more difficult to decorate than regular cakes. They melt constantly. Often times, depending on the design, you have to decorate the entire cake INSIDE THE FREEZER (this is in order to keep the butter cream icing from slipping off of the cake)! Imagine trying to decorate a cake in -10°F weather! Also, we can't use airbrush because it will melt/mess up the cake... although it is true that their skill could have been better :P

2. I've seen the picture of that design and unfortunately, that's close to what the actual design is supposed to look like. Again, their skill could have been better.


The other three are absolutely hilarious though!

Kirsten said...

I absolutely love your blog, but now I have a reason to love it even more. I've just started the sequence of Wilton Cake Decorating classes. Just finished my first cake after the first class, and I now have a great appreciation for what it takes to make that simple looking yet deceptively complicated "shell border" featured on most grocery store cake edges. But after seeing the "pro's" work, they clearly have not mastered the shell border either. So I'm pretty proud of how my home, class one version turned out. Thanks for making my day (again)!

Oh, and by some luck, the word verification on this post is peenog. Sounds like a good blog title for next holiday season?

Amy said...

I have to give a genuine THANK YOU for Cakewrecks. I usually keep up everyday but I missed Friday's entry. I needed to read it today because A: we're having my son's 3rd birthday party tonight and my husband is in charge of the Spiderman/superhero themed celebration. B: I'm having a crappy day and I needed the JAZZ HANDS pick-me-up. Cakewrecks is the best!

Amy B.
Idaho

Hyena Overlord said...

Okay...I was waiting for an explanation for the blue and yellow one. I found it. It's the first part of the potty dance commercial.

wv: nonsi...kids shows are full of nonsi.

Tribblehappy said...

Wow, I was just browsing the site and making horrified faces at the SpiderMan cakes... but the "Jazz hands" cake literally had me laughing out loud. My cat gave me a funny look.

HicksPub said...

I just thought Spidey had a question on the last one. A question like, "How did I end up on this mess?"

Sophia Nightengale said...

The floating head on cake number two is freaking me out!

Isabella said...

I love your website, Jen!!!!!!!!! I have had a cake wreck too, sadly the pictures were accidentallly burned. I asked a bakery (over phone) to put on the cake "Congrats, Emily and Jake" surrounded by flowers(they were engaged) but instead the cake said "Conga Rats: Emily and Jake" and above it, surrounded by flowers, were 8 rats doing the conga, and the ones above the names of emily and jake had sombreros on.

Karina said...

Ok, I'm slightly mortified that that last pic has shown up, considering that I linked to a pic of a cake I made using that cake tin on the previous Spidey post! I however, am not a professional, so hopefully I'm excused for it :-)

Jazz Hands! I'm LMAO at that. Will make me giggle every time I see the cake tin :-)

virginia beach said...

anyone else notice that the one with the baby blue border and the little spidey head in the corner is marked down on a manager's special?? Wonder why it didn't sell......

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the "electrical box? Gymnasium floor?" one is supposed to look like the packaging that the action figure came in.