Friday, July 15, 2011

A Harry Situation

Friday, July 15, 2011

My friends, today marks a tragic milestone for Harry Potter fans.


It's the day I feature more Harry Potter wrecks.

Ten points from Bakingdor!

And you're to stay after class and chop up every single High School Musical cellphone deco kit.

'Cuz I hate those things.


Here's a positively dizzying array of wreck:

See that photo of the little girl under the cake? She's wearing the same expression I had when *I* first saw this cake: confused, disappointed, and slightly nauseated.


I'll give you a hint on this next one:

It's a golden snitch.

To be fair, maybe it's supposed to be the one Harry spit out.


I'm sorry, but I have to bring back two old favorites:

Eat your heart out, Daniel Radcliffe.

Or maybe just your unfortunately rendered underbite.


Don't you hate it when your Quidditch cakes turns into Harry Potter and the Deathly Gallows?

Tsk, tsk. Such a noose-ance.



EVERYONE REMAIN CALM.

This is not Hedwig:

It's Ron's owl, Pigwidgeon.

Who is a total square.

And finally, while I know not everyone out there loves Harry Potter as much as I do, at least we can all agree on one thing:

There is about to be some SERIOUS nerd rage going on in here.



Thanks to Emily R., Jackie N., Char M., Rebecca J., Erin M., Jesse D., & Michelle M., who think Team Lupin vs Team Snape would work. You know, because of Snape's sparkling personality.
Sharyn said...

Thanks for telling us that was a golden snitch. I thought someone had decapitated Yoda.

SuBee said...

Perhaps Slytherine is the name of the birthday gir.
Just sayin'...

JessicaT said...

OMG I love the HP/Twilight cupcake mashup! It's like techno, but for food. Awesome today, I'm sure there will be many more HP wrecks out there!

Cbelle said...

I saw the movie last night, and when they had the Breaking Dawn trailer, the fans booed and hissed and laughed, especially when Jacob ripped his shirt off immediately.

Nisrine said...

These are not the most appetizing cake colors but maybe they taste good after all.

e.m. said...

some "serious" nerd rage, or Sirius nerd rage?

Sorry. I **had** to...

SuBee said...

Girl, birthday girl.
I'm exhausted from watching kids watch movie way past my bedtime.

WV: Cringess-A person like me always cringess when she notices her typos.

The Pink Drink Ladies said...

This is what makes me think that I too can be a great cake decorator. I really don't think I could do any worse.

I cannot see anything "Harry Potter" in the second cake or the white cake.

Jackie

Aron said...

I'm just really curious as to why Harry is flying across deformed Florida while dodging flaming poo missiles? Was that in the book? I must have missed it. Or maybe it's one of those "director's privilege" elements of the movie?

Haiku Joy said...

Pale cupcake rainbow
tastes like Weasleys' Skiving Snacks.
Or blood. With sprinkles.

Anonymous said...

Team Dracula!!!

Gwenyver said...

To be fair, "Edward" was a Hufflepuff...

Anonymous said...

Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read the line about 'serious nerd rage'.

Danger Boy said...

That last one, that is a complete and total travesty.

Kelly said...

I quite like the last one! As a 26 year old fan of both Harry Potter AND Twilight, I think it would probably be a great way for many teens to celebrate a similar situation. Now, if someone seriously thought that they belonged together...well...then they have some serious explaining to do.

"Don't let it worry you...it's me. I'm extremely famous." RW

zoomom said...

I must be deffective in reading flotsam font; I honestly thought it said "Team Coward" on that cupcake.
Sharyn, "I thought someone had decapitated Yoda"! Now that's all I see in that cake. Well done!

M. Dale said...

I want that owl cake. Smooshy.

Anonymous said...

Oh those poor potter fans-they must be so dissapointed

BADKarma! said...

1) I think that's actually Mercury's winged helmet after a hard day delivering the Messages of the Gods.

2) Evidently, only Ron Weasley embraces Team Jacob... O_o

Donkaloosa said...

Ron's owl is Errol --- it's the Weasly family owl.

Michelle said...

I had to look at the second one several times before I figured out what was supposed to be going on...at first glance it looked like a flying race car...

Movie tonight! I have my tickets in my wallet and I'm wearing my Gryffindor scarf at work (I work in a lawyer's office :). I'm going to DIE from sadness and excitement!

vw: exedle
My excitement over the Deathly Hallows exedles Beedle's expectations :)

Kimmy B.E. said...

I saw the same cupcakes at Kroger's. However, instead of Twilight it was the Green Lantern rings.

Anonymous said...

Any know a spell that will fix these?
Thought not.
We must call up The Beaters!
mocking

882d117c-ae27-11e0-883a-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Putting HP & Twilight together is just as likely to incite a nerd riot as putting Star Wars & Star Trek together. What was that baker thinking?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else now have 'Glycerine' by Bush now stuck in their head? If not, do you now?? ;-P

tiny p. elephant said...

Bakingdor!
LOL!
Going to see the movie tomorrow!

Maeve said...

"Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."
— Stephen King

How very, very true.

thesacredandtheprofane said...

Do NOT cross the streams!!!

What is wrong with these people?!

Fluffy Cow said...

You see gallows, I see dead sperm.

Just sayin'.

Kimberly Chapman said...

Hahahaha, yeah, there's going to be some sputtering about that last mashup. Sputtering, I say, since I read your tweets and last night's about nerd rage are still amusing to me today. Hope John has recovered.

Ladybug914 said...

Team Lupin or Team Snape?!?! Oh. My. Gosh. How is a girl (okay, okay, a well-over-the-age-of-maturity grown woman) to decide?

But thank you for successfully distracting from my deep depression that the movies are all over...now I need to figure out how I can sleep through my work day. :-/

JHill said...

How is John holding up after last night's sputtering rage?

elissa said...

That's not an owl. It's a lemur. One of these, specifically:

http://scienceblogs.com/laelaps/upload/2010/03/one_lemur_two_lemur_three_lemu/526px-Gray_Mouse_Lemur_1-thumb-500x569-43920.jpg

Adorably Dead said...

At first I was going to try and defend the effort put into the snitch cake, but....no, there is no defending that thing. And as to the last pic, oh yes, nerd raging like a fox over here.

J. said...

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the previous seven Harry Potter films and/or the terms Hogwarts, quidditch, muggle, and horcrux, the helpful folks over at Slate V put together this amusing video Cliff Notes version of the previous seven films, which is must viewing.

Elizabeth Douglas said...

The Happy Harry Underbite cake will never grow old. Siriusly, that's one of the funniest wrecks in the history of cakewrecking! I can only hope to receive something so hilariously awesome from a talent challenged baker someday!

Oh, and as far as the "Potterlight" cupcakes, well, Edward did attend Hogwarts under the guise of Cedric Diggory, and Jacob is a Black, though I expect he's from the side of the family "we just don't speak about." Still, I'll take a Potter cake... I fear I'd choke to death on all the glitter the Twilight ones possibly contain.

"Bakingdor" Jen, 10 points for sheer cheek!

Anonymous said...

Well, the movie series may be over, but I'm sure that the Harry Potter wreckage has just begun!

hungry said...

Have you seen this fabulously sad Rhett and Link video about Harry Potter mania? Amazing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkuOSKk1nXY

Jamie Jo said...

I doubt even Barnabas Collins would want to be in any of the twilight shows. the snitch cake isn't the WORST I've ever seen but all the Harry cake is missing is the fangs.

Christine said...

That first one was OBVIOUSLY made by someone who is a fan of "A Very Potter Musical!" (And if you didn't get that, go watch it on YouTube! Right now!)

Ashlee said...

Bahahaha! Omg, this is great :)

Donna said...

Being neither an HP or Twilight fan, I see nothing wrong with the cup cakes....Which of the pictures is Edward and which is Jacob again???

Viiriäinen said...

Hmm, are you sure cake number three is not supposed to be... EPCOT?

coeurdechoeur said...

Oh hell no. No sparkly vampires at Hogwarts.

SuBee said...

OOOOH Jamie Jo,
Thank you for the Barnabas Collins reference. I feel less alone in my (almost) old age-Dare I say twilight years?

shannagan said...

Oh my God! Those cupcake horrors had me laughing me bum off! It's the age old question of which is better. Um, there is no competition and they should never been in the same packaging together.

Maureen said...

I'm totally team Lupin. Love him! but the snitch cake is just scary.

Promise said...

Am I the only one who finds the square "owl" with the plastic bits stuck into the icing kind of cute in a pathetic kind of way?

Carol said...

"Donkaloosa said...
Ron's owl is Errol --- it's the Weasly family owl."

Apparently you've only seen the movies and have never read a Harry Potter book. At the end of the 3rd book, Sirius sent Harry a letter while he was riding the train back to London using a small, hyper owl. At the end of the letter, he told Ron to keep the owl, since it was his fault that Ron no longer had a pet. In book 4 we learn that Ginny has named the owl Pigwidgeon.

(And sorry if someone else has already posted this...currently there are only 43 comments showing and no one commented on this as of yet)

Laura P. said...

Ok, I have never seen nor want to see either Harry Potter or the Twilight movies, but even I know that that's so not right! What were those bakers thinking? Wow. Obviously they have never seen either movie series either.

Anonymous said...

I've been wondering for a while now what would happen if someone asked a bakery for a Harry Potter-Doctor Who cake... My birthday is commoing up, maybe I should try that...
-Μαρία Βάγκνερ

Jennifer said...

Anxiously awaiting your review of HP! Surely you and John were there at midnight!

flying gargoyle said...

"Ten points from Bakingdor!" Oh, my sides hurt & my mouthful of beverage is across the room. (Note to self: never ingest food or drink be*fore* reading Cake Wrecks.)

mimi said...

HOW DARE THEY!!! Those cupcakes must DIE!

unseeliepixie said...

It's funny you metion Team Snape versus Team Lupin... MTV did a Harry Potter World Cup where they pitted 64 Potterverse characters against each other. The last one standing, as a matter of fact, was Snape.

Briony said...

That owl cake is actually kind of adorable. In a weird, squished-face way (kind of like Pig then!).

The cupcakes, however, are entirely irredeemable. Who's the baker we have to Avada Kedavra for that hot mess?

Anonymous said...

@Donkaloosa -- Sirius Black gives Ron a tiny owl named Pigwidgeon at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban.


WV: bacom

Bacom, let-us and toe-mater sammitches for lunch!

Anonymous said...

ZOOMOM
I thought it said TEAM COWARD TOO!!!

Bryna said...

It might be just me, but I was wondering what "Team Coward was" and then I realized. Damn you Old English font!

michelej said...

Phrase I'm going to work into conversation today, as many times as possible: seething pile of nerd rage.

Thanks! :)

Laura said...

@Donkaloosa, clearly you've never read book 4, because Pigwidgeon IS Ron's owl. Errol was never Ron's owl, he was the family owl.

Mike said...

Ha! I thought the third one was supposed to be one of those killer balls from the movie Phantasm!

TJ said...

Why is Harry in the Gulf of Mexico?

Mafdet said...

@Donkaloosa:

Errol is the Weasleys' family owl and Ron did use it to send his mail.
But then he got a teeny, tiny owl of his own: Pigwidgeon.
I can't quite recall who gave it to him, though.

Bec said...

I was completely full of nerd-rage because the bakery had a sign over the Harry Potter flotsam cakes that said "Harry Potter and the Deadly Hallows". I complained to the mgr (who is a friend) and even though he laughed at me, the sign got changed! Nerd victory.
(Oh, and @Donkaloosa... although Errol was the Weasley family owl, Pigwidgeon was Ron's owl, given to him by Sirius after he exposed Ron's pet rat Scabbers as an imposter.)

Anonymous said...

I want to know why the "decorators" insist on putting 3 oranges vulcanos in HP cakes. The action occurs in the UK!! Do they even have vulcanos there? And in the case that they have....theres is no vulcano in the books!! or the movies!!

And the mashup cupcakes must die. NOW.

Orual said...

The last movie may have hit theaters, but there is still the DVD release to look forward too.

Yeah that Owl is pretty cute, especially if you go with the old english definition of Ugly but interesting.

Ferralyn said...

Anonymous @1:18 - Can I make that cake for you? Please, please, please? I'll make a Tardis with Harry, Hermione and Ron peeking out of it. :) Or maybe Harry pointing his wand at the Doctor pointing his sonic screwdriver? Or...Or....the possibilities are endless! Endless I tell you!!

Fluffy Cow said...

I believe the owl is officially Epcot.

Or Spaceship Earth... I can never tell.

Anonymous said...

When Edward dumped Bella, she curled up in a ball and stayed like that until he took her back. When Ron dumped Hermonie, she kept on trying to defeat the darkest wizard of all time.

ensouling said...

Crying into my butterbeer.

Anonymous said...

@Donkaloosa.

Errol is the Weasley's family owl, Ron's owl is Pigwidgeon.

Nerd fail.

hownottogame said...

Poor Harry.

And maybe the baker was going for a Team HP / Team Twilight theme for a birthday party / starting zone of some war. Maybe.

I hope we see some Potter sweets soon. These wrongs need righting. Like ASAP.

junewilliams7 said...

Hey, no dissing my man Snape! He's the hero. If you want "sparkling personality," see Gilderoy.
~ June, member of Team Snape

S said...

For the second cake - I thought you were pointing out the wicked-witch-of-the-ease-leg-placement photo.

Re mixed cupcakes - can't we all just get along? ;) (I'm team Feist tho...)

Monica said...

Oy. That last one...how does anybody get confused between Harry/Ron and Edward/Jacob? Unless they haven't seen a movie poster for 10 years? I convinced my (non-HP-fan) BF that we should watch Goblet of Fire for 2 reasons:
1. The 10th Doctor is the Big Bad.
2. Edward Cullen dies.

WV: ancetase The next big thing in artificial sweeteners! Ancetase: Zero calories, very little chance of developing toenail cancer!

ljwmomma said...

Fail... EPIC fail on that last one. WOW

PvtSam75 said...

hmmm...those poor cupcakes. To be fair, Robert Pattinson WAS in Harry Potter, but...

And as for the snitch, I was seriously thinking that that was something that someone hacked up...

Anonymous said...

okay, first off, quit showing that horrific Harry cake.

second, what the eff is going on with Jackie's cake? what are the three lumps in the bottom left corner?? it looks like a dragon had a disappointing bowel movement.

third, anyone who doesn't know Hedwig was snowy white needs to leave the blog NOW! (seething nerd rage spills over to another cake...breathe, breathe, breathe...I stopped liking JK Rowling when Hedwig had her last scene!!)

10 points from Bakindor. OMG, I will totally use that this weekend and beyond. :D

@Μαρία Βάγκνερ- that's just AWESOME. @Ferralyn- you must make it and Jen must post it. Someone needs to be wearing a fez- I vote for Snape or a Dalek! muahahahahahaha

-Barbara Anne

Mel said...

And I thought the snitch was a bakugan :p

Anonymous said...

@ cake #5:
oh, poor harry. it looks like he's doing the dance called the cramp from the end of the spongebob episode "slimy dancing."
-your 12 yr old reader kate

Chandanista said...

LOVE the cupcake mashup!!

Anonymous said...

wait, am I the only one who thinks cake #2 looks a lot like cake #2 in this post? this looks suspiciously like a case of harry potter deco kits! When I see what looks like like people who either haven't seen/read hp stuff making deco kits for hp cakes, I will officially lose all hope for humanity. Let's just hope they don't start making them into *gasp*...
CCC'S!!!

-your gloriously geeky tween reader kate

Kim said...

I laughed at all of them until I got to the final one, which I received with a cry of, "YOU BASTARDS!"

Then I realized this must be the nerd rage to which you referred.

Still. They're jerks. (However, I do love the Hurry Purrturr cake.)

Arlene said...

All I can say is blech to most of those especially the second cake. What on earth is it for I can't tell if Harry is flying or drowning in a sea of dispare. Lol at the twilight reference on the cupcakes.

SlySevSteph said...

SNAPE4LYFE! Padfoots don't try to step to this.

Karen C said...

That's supposed to be an owl? I thought it was a Gizmo cake.

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/gimages/a3bd_gremlins_gizmo_plush.jpg

Kennedy said...

Oh, how I love your blog! Makes my day to see other people's fails! Love the "Gold Snitch".

Linelei said...

Can I be on Team Snape-Would-Beat-The-Crap-Out-Of-Any-Twilight-Loser-Because-He's-So-Stinking-Cool-And-Uber-Sexy? Because that would be my team. :D

Anonymous said...

Isn't that the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the gallows cake?

Anonymous said...

I still LOVE everything about that purple & green repeat of Harry's head, except of course Harry's head. The rest is so awesome!

Anonymous said...

It's the three orange volcanoes again!!

Anonymous said...

Oh no, the Fingeroo eyeballs came back! I thought they went into hibernation in mid-May!

wv - mimons. I'd better start setting up my anti-Fingeroo fences right away. It usually takes mimons!

Kayna said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE CUPCAKES.

Nerd rage indeed.

Tansunn said...

Take the "noose" cake, rotate 180 degrees. Not only do you have your proper Quidditch rings (even though there aren't enough), you also have Plastic Harry about to faceplant into the ground.

Leah said...

How dare they combine Harry Potter with Twilight? Does that cake decorator have any decency?

Kiwi said...

@Anonymous 7/15 1:18am
Had a similar thought about the beautiful Snitch truffles in the Sweets after this--"Edible ball bearings!" ; )