Before you head out to stock up on fireworks this weekend, here's a handy tip from the folks over at Lamebook:
What I meant was, when it comes to fireworks, you really want the most bang for your buck:
So always look for the cartoon steam whistle shouting, "Bang!"
Even if they are patriotically
No, trust me, you don't want sprinkles.
Oh my gosh! They killed Blinky!
(That's the red ghost from Pac-Man, kids. Now stop making me feel old.)
Important rocket safety tip:
The flamey bits should always come out the back.
Happy Bloody Band Aid day!
In a firework-y way, I mean.
Not a penis-ishy way.
NEW GOAL: Work the word "penis-ishy" into as many conversation today as possible. Starting...NOW.