Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tickled Pink

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Here in the good 'ol US of A, pretty much everything gets its own holiday. Got a toothache? February 9th is your day! Like air? So do I! Let's celebrate together on November 11th, National Air Day! And if anybody needs me on September 16th, I'll be enjoying National Stay Away From Seattle Day by, uh, continuing to live in Florida.

So anyway, today is National Pink Day, and by gosh, we're going to celebrate it - both the color *and* the singer. Why, you ask? Same reason we climb mountains: too much free time and we're crazy. DUH.

Hit it!


I think I just lost my talent
I don't know where it went.
Good thing I have this necklace

And lots of pink fondant:


Na-na-na-na na-na na
That's not even real fondant. (Ha!)


I got a brand new airbrush
I hope I'm using it right:


These sprinkles are giving me trouble,
Let's tuck 'em out of sight:


Na-na-na-na na-na na
That cake is out of sight!


Meh, so what?
I'm still a Wreck Star
I got my wreck moves
And I don't need yooouu..
except to buy my cakes.
And maybe not complain to my manager.

So...um...yeah.

[scuffing toe and avoiding eye contact]

Next verse!

The shower cake's on the table
I'm sure it'll be a hit:



This one may look like a sphincter,
But what else rhymes with "hit?"


Na-na-na-na na-na na
Something that rhymes with "hit!"


Meh, so what?
That'll buff out:


And four legs are so "out":



And Nicki is gooonnnaaa die!

Na-na-na-na na-na na

But pink makes it all alright!

Happy Pink Day, y'all.


Thanks to Rachel T., Amy U., Heather L., Sara H., Holly E., Brenda M., Sherry L., & Natalie W. for getting that song stuck in our heads. I'll just be over here humming It's a Small World for a while.
yellowpickup said...

LMAO Great Post as always Jen!

*Hums It's a small world*

The English Teacher said...

I should NOT have read this so soon after breakfast. Ugh.

elissa said...

I don't celebrate this holiday. It's against my aesthetics.

Sherri said...

Please, no more "It's a Small World". gah! Trauma!

I understand that "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" is a good earworm cure. And the dress fits the theme. I wonder if it works for eyeworms as well -- these cakes bring the idea of worms firmly to the forefront of my mind.

*sigh* I haven't been homesick in the 3 years since i moved away, but now I really wish I was sitting at the Panera's next to the main gate at Rollins. Have they EVER fixed up that awful "art deco" 7-11? (I miss 7-11. Don't have them here.)

SuBee said...

January 30 is Mouthless Muppet Amputee Day, so you're a little early on cake number 7.

Beverly Diehl said...

I'm all about teaching children that people (and ?teddy bears? what is that thing?) are differently abled, but if you're gonna cut off its leg, at least give the poor thing a crutch.

Obviously, pretty and pink do not always go together.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Come on & raise your glass if these wrecks are wrong..never in the right ways!

ROTFLOL! Love that song & what you did with it!

Hey - that rhymes with "hit". Oh...were you going for a different word...? ]:-D

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, sphincter and cake...never thought the two would go together in any circumstance, but I was sorely mistaken. I think I guffawed when I read it.

Maureen said...

ROTFL!! That sphincter cake is just..... so...... so .......... straining for the right word........ uuuuuuhhhhhhmmmmmm ..... I'm stuck. Blocked. Can't go...... on.

TisforTonya said...

Pink is SO not my color - these cakes didn't change my mind on that at ALL :)

Anonymous said...

O...M...G D: those cakes O_o

Rachael said...

November 11th really is Veteran's Day.

jj said...

I have almost decided it's less risky to just let the shower guests assemble the cake themselves at the event, rather than gamble my money on a baker's mad skills. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a craft, right?

wv: undun: you can put a ribbon around that cake, but i bet it doesn't come undun at the moment you want it to.

SaraCVT said...

My 8-year-old daughter is delighted with the concept of a National Pink Day because she loves pink so much she could have started it. So I know what color I'LL be surrounded by today. Thanks, awfully.

(Oh, and the idea of a Stay Away From Seattle Day cracks me up. I'm guessing Portlnd, Or., started it because they sort of have a little brother-resentful feeling toward Seattle. I don't think Seattle really cares, but Portland can't STAND Seattle. It's hilarious.)

Karen said...

Oh the irony; I cliked on today's post just as "U + UR Hand" came on the ipod, hee. I love it when you do song spoof posts!!

teri said...

Oh lordy- i'm making a baby shower cake this weekend for a friends daughter- and i am SO afraid it's going to turn out like any one of these masterpieces!!

SaraCVT said...

WV: ablest These wreckerators are obviously not the ablest cake-makers around. Maybe you should go somewhere else.

SuBee said...

JJ has an excellent idea. If I had a cake to construct at a shower (any shower) it might not feel like I was trapped in the land where time stopped.
How can we start this new and very useful tradition??

mel said...

The Sphincter Cake, while not seen too often on Earth, is regularily found on Uranus.


wv - nonstat: frequently heard in medical facilities treating mild illnesses

Dorothy! said...

Because I was a bad reader and skimmed the part where you said it was a Pink song and had to wing it. FYI- the lyrics work pretty well with Angel in a Centerfold.

SarahRod said...

Ok, a few things:

Where is The Boob Nazi?? I haven't seen her in long time, and I'm worried.

I never thought the color pink could be ruined so entirely. Leave it to the wreckerators. elissa and Beverly Diehl, you both made me laugh.

I have been telling people for YEARS that singing It's A Small World gets rid of the songs stuck in your head. Thank you for the validation.

SarahRod said...

Forgot to add a mention for my favorite holiday: September 19 is National Talk Like A Pirate Day. Also, my hubby's birthday, which just proves how perfect he is.

Dread Pirate said...

At the risk of sending everyone to the Epcot shelter....there's totally a king cake wannabe behind the sphincter cake.

Wv: shicrit Wreckerator to customer "Kin You keep a shicrit? I only dekerate drunk."

jbrecken said...

I raise my glass to this musical masterpiece

Sue J said...

gosh, those are sooooooo sad!! LOL

Leilani Roxanne said...

this post wins all the awards

Elizabeth said...

This blog makes me want frosting.

DJ said...

i'm tickled . . . pink!

vinie said...

th vest way to forget a earworm? listening to "the ballad of bilbo baggins" by our favorite vulcan. Works everytimes.

Im sure if you close the lights, tose cakes could glow in the dark as they are so flashy..o.o

Donna said...

Somehow, these sad little cakes make me very happy that my daughter thinks pink is the color of the anti-christ.

Anna said...

I'm sorry - but I don't think I can fully appreciate that post until there is a sing-a-long music video produced. Until then - I'm going to scour my local grocery store for a snowball. Thank you.



http://www.hostesscakes.com/snoballs.asp

Kitrina said...

bahaha...this one was great! :)

Every time I hear that song now I'll get these lyrics stuck in my head :p

Craig said...

@Sherri, thanks for getting "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" stuck in my head. Now I'll have to imagine Pink singing IaSW to get rid of it. Ugh. Ear bleach, STAT.

#1 Except for the trowel marks and the thumb gouge in the bottom corner, this looks like three slabs of ham. It would make a nice visual mnemonic for a lesson on casting pearls before swine.

#2 This looks like it was made of Spam. Nice use of 'fresh' flowers.

#3 looks almost, but not quite, entirely unlike cake.

#4 It's a girl! That would explain the brown ribbons.

#5 "Sphincter boy says, 'what'?"

#6 Suddenly I want bubble gum ice cream. Hold the daisies. I won't inquire as to the variety.

#7 It's I-Don't-Care Bear! To say this cake was a good job would be a bear-faced lie.

#8 Looks like this one is still at the bakery, probably because they couldn't figure out how to get the box closed. I'd say, "Go ahead -- make my day."

J. said...

For some reason the phrase "Pepto Bismol makes it dismal" popped into my head as I was perusing this post.

de Pizan said...

SaraCVT, Portland may love to poke fun Seattle every chance it gets, but it's very much a good-natured family kind of rivalry; rather than the kind that both Seattle and Portland have with California...which really is just flat out condescension and disdain (especially on Oregon's part since they share the border).

Anonymous said...

aww, the 3 tiered pink daisy cake makes me sad. Looks like it WAS nice then fell apart en route, then had to be patched together or something. The rest of them leave me baffled. gah.

Anneke (Mudhooks) said...

Number 5, I believe is a cake to celebrate someone's "virginity repair" surgery... or possibly a born-again virgin... I can only assume... Oh. Pardon the pun.

jesterqueen1 said...

Please please please do a video-song-montage of "So What - the Cake Wrecks Edition". I love your video montages, and it's been tooooooo long since the last one

SaraCVT said...

@de Pizan

Umm, if you say so.... I live in Vancouver, Washington, just across the Columbia from Portland and I get the Oregonian newspaper daily, and "poking gentle fun" is definitely NOT the sense I get from the Letters To The Editor, particularly in the recent flap when it was discovered that Seattle had more police per capita than Portland. But maybe I'm wrong--my daughters have a love/hate relationship, too.

Haiku Joy said...

Sweet, o sweet piggy,
Do not weep for your lopped limb.
Soon, they'll all be gone.

Adorably Dead said...

I gotta be honest, did not put the Pink the color and singer thing together at first. It wasn't until the end that I stopped singing what you wrote to the Katamari Damacy tune.

TxLadyBaker said...

LMAO

Bonita said...

YESS! Cakewrecks + P!nk the singer = ultimate excitement! My day is made :D.

Anonymous said...

I suspect that "Stay Away from Seattle Day" originated with Lesser Seattle, a loose-knit kinda-sorta organization dedicated to reinforcing Seattle's rep as a dull, wet, dismal place that no one would ever, ever, ever want to move to.

Littlefoot

Anonymous said...

//I have been telling people for YEARS that singing It's A Small World gets rid of the songs stuck in your head. Thank you for the validation.//

Of course, then you've got Small World stuck in your head.

Littlefoot

Anonymous said...

This almost makes me lose my obsession with pink! ewww!

YankeeSweets said...

hahahahahaha, just heard this song on the radio and I must say, i like your version better!!! I'm scared to suggest...purple rain next??

Oldish Lady said...

Actually many of us know that November 11th is International
Skyrim day this year.

Otherwise I think it's only Veterans Day.....

Anonymous said...

I hate the color pink and It's a Small World! I had to ride it 6 times during a bad thunderstorm when I was 9 as my grandmother didn't want to leave the building---6 times through withOUT getting out of the boat!!

(singing loudly and with as much talent as these wreckerators) BUT SO WHAT CAUSE I'M A ROCK STAR

-Barbara Anne

anthemsong said...

Yeah, that one legged bear is mine! I glued him on the board wrong, and realized too late he only had one leg. That's why he's such a hideous colour combo, hoped some little girl with more love of pink than sense would beg for him. We all had a good laugh when I realized he was an amputee, glad some others think he's hilarious(ly bad) too.

Every decorator pumps out bad ones, especially at places that hire decorators who've never touched a spatula and expect to train them in to some semblance of skill. I usually make decent-to-good ones at least.

Donna said...

So I read the wreckerator lyrics to the tune of "Sober" until it got to the na-na part, where I substituted melancholy u-huh-uh's to make the tune fit. Then I got to the chorus and couldn't believe I missed that it was "So What."

A neat trick I learned from a music teacher in high school: If you sing the entire song in your head, the endless loop of the song will disappear from your head.

Now I am off to remember all the words to Sober

Katie Girl said...

Very funny, and I love the song!

amyandtenaya said...

just wondering, was that 3 legged bear suppose to be Lotso from Toy Story 3???

anthemsong said...

Naw, not supposed to be Lotso. I usually do a monkey shaped CCC when I do a CCC animal (don't ask me why people are so into monkeys or CCCs) and was experimenting with a different more generic shaped CCC that I could make into a bear or other humanoid-ish fuzzy creatures, and instead of making a 4th leg I wasn't paying attention to where the body was or how huge it was and I actually hadn't noticed it first, someone else did, that I was missing a leg. But too late.

jeliecam said...

All these cakes suffer from icingus droopus. Perhaps they should not use Pepto-Bismal as frosting.
#4 -we definitely need bigger bows
#5 -we agree with Dread Pirate; it needs purple & green sprinkles and gold beads. Shall we meet in the bunker.

wv: housho -Hou sho you how it's done

Greenwick said...

:/ The airbrush makes that one cake look....old. Dry. Ew.

archersangel said...

some of those cakes look like an accident at the pepto bismol plant.

stuckinmypedals said...

This is your best post yet! So funny! Although I used to really like pink, the color and the singer. Now, not so much.

Kellie said...

I invented "Stay Away from Seattle Day." I want to keep my beautiful city to myself and all the other crazies who live here. I also invented the myth that it rains all the time. And the internet.

Arlene said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry because now that song is stuck in my head..lmao help me!!! Those cakes all look pepto pink to me and would probably give any tummy an ache from all the sugar. Scary cakes and gahhh that song won't die!!

Craig said...

Good on @anthemsong for being such a good sport.

Anonymous said...

@SuBee-- apparently you don't have a soul... Mouthless Muppet Amputee Day? Wow. I know it's three in the morning, but that's trippy anytime of day. Me likes.

WV: andro- Androver here we have another fine specimen of what happens when Pepto-Bismol meets airgun.

The Boob Nazi said...

@SarahRod I'm still here! New job. New commute. I barely read blogs anymore. It's good to know I'm missed!

GreekScifimom said...

I have Crohns disease and the 5th cake looks like the results of my last colonoscopy. And ewwwwwwwww PINK

lisadh said...

LMAO! As a lover of CW and P!nk, I was singing right along and laughing at the same time. Most awesome!

Thank you!

Micalah said...

OMG thank you so much for sharing that! Your so clever! haha

Glitz said...

hey now, my birthday is Sept 16 and I live across the water from Seattle! LOL