I'd ask you how you feel about this, Krystal K., but it's written all over your face.
[bowing]
Uh thank you. Thankyouverramuch.
[bowing]
Uh thank you. Thankyouverramuch.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
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Wreck the Halls
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What's a Wreck?
What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
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45 comments | Post a Comment
It may be for the best! No matter how lovely the couple, no one looks good on edible photo paper.
Oh, for the love of...
Come ON. The "picture" is cracked, smucked-up, and you can't even guess WHICH birthday it is, or WHOSE.
It has *LOVE* written all over it, I tell you.
Slim pickin's today, eh? =^o,0^=
Written all over your face....bwahahaha
wv: cramses
You all better cramses reall hard for ur cake decoratting final tomorow.
No, no. It is just a trial run for the "better, cheaper, faster" witness protection program.
Jen has left the building! ;-D
Wow. Just. Wow.
wv: tinguffe: Krystal is saying this about those words on her face..."Get this tinguffe me!"
WV: dingezed - You should have put the writing where you dingezed up the photo.
wv: foropi
"Aunt Bee, did you tell the bakery to write 'foropi' on that birthday cake?"
Ba-duh-BUMP!Cheeeeeeee!
Someone actually paid cash for that mess too, I'm guessing. Nothing like reinforcing bad service with good money.
wv: bander. They shoulda kept a tight bander round that wreckerator's hands.
Looks like a 21st birthday... isn't that when one is SUPPOSED to get "faced" (if ever)?
Oh for pity's sake that baker is just stupid. No excuses for that one. I sincerely hope there was no charge for the image after that nonsense.
I'd be just thrilled to get a cake that shows so much thought and caring.
Irrelevant image: check
Edible photo paper: check
Cracked icing: check
Ugly border: check
Neat writing, placed with care: check
Oh, yeah. Whoever brought the cake just *loves* the birthday person.
WV: pappredi. "Your test results are back..." (Only women and OB/GYNs will get this joke. Sorry, guys.)
Heh, heh...more wv's than enlightening commentary on the actual specimen?
What is this-an "in denial" convention? The first step is in accepting that there IS a problem.
The wreckerators don't get that, sadly.
@Ai:
Yeah, but lovely couple or not, it may have been charitable for the wreckerator to leave it up to the ACTUAL couple whether they want their photo to ACTUALLY be SEEable, no?
=^?,?^=
Maybe the bakery was just being thoughtful -- if I was going to stick a knife into people I loved, I really wouldn't want to see their faces. How's that for thinking ahead? (Oh, awful pun...)
WV: cossn -- If it is the practice for cossns to marry in your family, over time you will see some erosion of the cake decorating gene.
Wow...talk about your passive aggression with this cake! I wonder what they did to tick off the wreckorater so badly!
Wow. This is the WORST cakewrecks I have ever seen, because there just is no excuse: the wreckerator may not speak English or be good at judging distances when inserting words, but here there MUST have been deliberate "let's write on their faces straight off the bat" thinking. And I've been following cakewrecks now for ages!!! This is dEFINITELY the most deliberately f-ed up cake.
W/V: probum - I'm sure whoever ordered this cake had a major probum with it!!!
@Sharyn:
"Maybe the bakery was just being thoughtful-"
That's an interesting idea... *giggle*
But historically, it doesn't hold water(judging by the neverending supply of wrecks plopped down on J&J's desks).
If they have qualms about the genre, bakers/decorators could always insist on having photos brought in pre-digested. Everybody be happy then. Yah?
=^@.@^=
Really, the only thing I can think of that could make this any better would be if you bit into a hunk and found out that it WASN'T edible photo paper after all.
I'm not sure what's better: The placement of the text or the cracks in the icing indicating poor handling or poor icing making... O_o
Since when is it a good idea to pipe the writing over her face? The edible photo paper isn't great either, those wrecktors cannot cease to amaze me.
wv: canshinj
They sure canshinj icing all over the place.
Message of this cake:
I hope you have a happy birthday, even though you're so ugly I had to put a ... gob of blue icing over your faces.
what is written before "love you"? It looks like colon u c- is that code for "the next thing written on this cake is a crock of poop, because this cake proves I don't"
Yesterday I ordered a cake for the first time in my life. It's for a bridal shower for my roommate this weekend. And I discovered...
...reading this blog has made me REALLY REALLY PARANOID. And highly untrusting of bakers. ^_^;;; Here's hoping it comes out all right.
Clint @11:31 for the win!
Good gracious--was this an entry into the "quick, I forgot to get a cake for so and so's birthday, how fast can you crank one out for me?" contest?
At least the colors coordinate, the lovely blue frosting blends so well into the blues of the photo that you almost can't see the writing all over the picture...
wv:burnsm, It really burnsm when they pay for a cake like this!
Wasn't going to dignify the wreckerator with a comment until I saw the wv!
Oh come on! Really?!?! They thought it okay to just write across their faces?! Sigh...I suppose after reading this blog for two years I shouldn't be surprised by something like this. I guess hope springs eternal with me.
As a decorator....this just makes me sad. Most of the stuff on this site is pretty funny, but sometimes I can't help but think of how these poor people felt when they see their cake.
One cake, many theories... [evil grin]
#1 The wreckerator was hoping to disguise the fact that s/he used the wrong image.
#2 The image is faded, not just incorrectly printed, which ties in nicely with the cracks. Perhaps this was the result of the bakery's "order a year in advance" program, discontinued after the staff misunderstood it to also mean "make a year in advance."
#3 The Literal Bakery strikes again. The customer, not realizing with whom they were dealing, said, "Write, 'Happy 22nd Birthday' on the top, and 'We Love You' down below." The customer was fortunate that the other words were not included.
#4 The message was written on a pre-existing cake that had no relation to the recipient.
@elissa: I get it, and I'm not an OB/GYN -- I don't even play one on TV.
Bahahahahahahaha!!
Yeah, the cake sucks. Uh huh, it's about as wrecked as wrecked gets.
But "[bowing]
Uh thank you. Thankyouverramuch" got the real laughs from me. Thanks for the sweet tea covered monitor, Jen. ;)
They look a little "blue" to me.
Thankyouthankyouverymuch
OOH! OOH! I have another possibility to add to Craig's list!!
Passive-aggressive manifestation of hate by the decorator toward the young lady who has been obliterated! (some examples, mother-in-law, future mother-in-law, sister of the guy, aunt, best friend...the list of choices is endless!).
Another Andrea (also in Ohio)
That brings the "I don't care" [about doing my job well] mentality to a whole new low.
But, it's also fun to come up with possible explanations. So, my attempts:
Or it could be that it's his birthday, and his mother just doesn't like the girl very much. Another "blame the wreckerator" cake?
Or they're so vain, they're wishing a friend happy birthday, and stuck a photo of themselves on the cake, and the decorator thought that was just far too arrogant so did this to bring them down a peg.
Or they're a couple who's so perfectly matched they even share the same birthday. and the recently-dumped (or maybe 53 and never been kissed?) wreckerator was so jealous, this was his/her revenge.
But hey, at least the borders were nicely colour matched to the photo. (the writing icing wasn't, though.. .another ding).
@Sharyn, I like that one!
@Siouxzr, I think it says "we" before the "love you"
@Eve, don't worry… if it's a really bad wreck, you've got your very own CW submission. Ever since I've (secretly) started hoping for that, the quality of the bought cakes' decorations has improved. And that leaves me strangely disappointed...
does this icing my my butt look big?
what?
too soon?
(This comment should in no way be construed as a comment on anyone's weight. seriously, i have no room to talk :P)
Hahaha!...it's written all over your face. Oh Jen, how you crack me up!
I'm thinking @Craig 2:14pm might be on to something with his theory #3. But still, how could any decorator possibly think that they should write all over the faces? They obviously decided to fit the photo to the width of the cake, as evidenced by the white border on the bottom. They could have made the photo smaller and centered it so that they could write on the white spaces on top and bottom, thereby making the cake not so CRUEL a wreckage. (It would still be a wreckage with the cracks and bad handwriting, but not a cruel one.)
Looking at the kids in the photo, I was thinking they might be twins celebrating their 22nd (21st?) birthday. The inscription would fit for two people as well as one. Krystal K...please tell me, am I anywhere near correct?
@flying gargoyle 10:15 ..."better, cheaper, faster" witness protection program. Awesome! I laughed out loud at that one.
They are just trying to say "we love you" but Words Get in the Way. Apologies to Gloria Estefan.
-Craig in VA
Heh. That's aimed at Craig @ 2:14 for your third idea. It's not a good thing to have lumpy blue things down below. Just saying...
wv: grame: As if this wreckerator had one single grame of brain in his/her head.
Is the trim on her sweater made from icing? Eerily matching the cake trim.
you'd think the wreckerator would use Happy Birthday to cover the cracks in the photo. Problem solved!
@flying gargoyle- you are AWESOME
I've never before said "maybe someone else wrote on it after they took it home from the bakery" but today I am reaaallly close to it.
-Barbara Anne
Oh God... one thing I really can't stand is when someone at work blows up a picture and slaps it on a cake. I'm the only decorator at my store who at least puts some thought into the placement of a photo. Everyone else just makes sure it's as large as possible.
Today I actually had a customer give me a large laminated cutout of a graduation cap to place on her cake. *slams head into wall*
Hey, one person's enlarged, full-color engagement photo is another person's blank canvas.
--kate
Well maybe they just like blue goop all over their faces lol. Edible paper needs something to distract the person about to eat it and I say good job..that would sure distract me in many many ways. Maybe you are supposed to guess who is having the birthday and the prize is getting to have blue stained teeth for eating it lol.
I really hope they paid the customer to take that wrecktacular piece off their hands.
Oh my, the fact that they get paid for this crap makes me think I should open a bake shop-if penmenship doesn't matter, than I could make a KILLING ;)