Friday, June 24, 2011

Swing and a Miss

Friday, June 24, 2011

NOTE: Today's post may not be appropriate for young children who understand double entendres.


Look, I'm not going to say I'm proud of what I first saw when I looked at this cake, butt...

Ok, I'm a little proud.

Also, dad's ball seems a little low.



Speaking of which, go ahead: tell me this placement wasn't intentional:

And maybe I'm out in left field here, but don't you usually tend to see this kind of thing around third base?


Still, at least that baker has actually seen a baseball bat before. This one seems to have confused it with some kind of joystick:

And in related news, something something "some kind of joystick."

See? These jokes practically write themselves.


Ah. I see the force is strong with this one:

Show off.

Also, is that a Chef's hat, or a pile of poo? 'Cuz I can't make heads or tails of it.


And finally, men, do you experience a burning sensation when you go?

...to bat, I mean? Go to bat?


Thanks to Adria P., Amy U., Stephanie D., A. R., Denise H., and V.D. for that last joke.

SuBee said...

That last cake... the last one...Oh, Oh, Oh.... I have to wash my eyes.
Oh noooo.

SuBee said...

Really, I still can't get the image out of my head. I can't close my eyes! Singing "It's a Small World" doesn't help with visions. Help me.

Fluffy Cow said...

That last one... my eyes are still burning.

SuBee said...

WHY IS IT SO SHIN???
And those candles sticking out of it.
WHY, why???

Amy'sMom said...

Swing and a Mister, if you please.

SuBee said...

Shiny. I meant to say, "why is it so shiny." See how upset I am.

Sharyn said...

This post took a lot of balls.

While I can come up with no explanation for most of these masterpieces, I think the chef's hat/pile of poo is actually the Hamburger Helper "Helping Hand" mascot's evil twin. (You can tell by the parsley garnish.)

Also, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW what kind of butterfly the caterpillar in the last cake turns into.

Jenniffer said...

LOL! On The Force cake, I guess you can tell which side is north by the moss growing on "the log". Either that, or someone needs a shot of penicillin!

Anonymous said...

"And VD for that last joke."
BEST line of the post lol, which is an accomplishment, since the whole post was funny.

Rocka said...

*Blink*

*Stare*

*Blink Blink*

*Rubs eyes*

Pass the Eye Wash, SuBee!! I'm about to go to bed and I'm pregnant. I do not need the dreams that may follow the viewing of today's... Ahem... Bats. And don't worry. When cake is this awkward, it can totally be Shin... On that note, I have got to make someone a cake like these, just to see them squirm.

Hahaha this blog makes my day.
WV: Kedia (And once again, WV defeats me. Somebody toss me a line here!)

elissa said...

Dan probably would have been happier if they'd turned his cake the other way around. You know, so the "bat" was pointing up.

"joystick." I snorted.

elissa said...

@Jenniffer: I was also thinking something along the lines of penicillan, but more in the vein "Do Not Want to play with that particular joystick."

it's the hippy undertones said...

@ elissa "in the vein"! penecillin in the vein! LOL so much funny.

Anonymous said...

That last one looks so...unhealty.

mimi said...

I don't know when the last time I had a desire to take a dump on a baseball field was. Actually... it's been, since, well... I've never had that particular urge, but if I ever do, I'm pretty sure I won't stick candles in it. WTH? How did anyone think that looked like anything else?

WV: sycombe I don't think I will ever sycombe to the urge to eat poo cake.

Haiku Joy said...

I see that someone
confused "birthday suit" with " - cake,"
needs dicktionary.

Anonymous said...

Chef's hat?? I thought that was a poo-couch. A very fancy one, too!

Anonymous said...

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?! D: And VD??? Really???

The English Teacher said...

And what are those little pink things all over the final "poo-bat" cake? Are they supposed to be people? Worms? What?

Anonymous said...

National Lewd Cake Day?
I'll add it to the rest. :)
Wonderful post.
mocking

BP said...

The last cake: VOMITS FRESHLY INGESTED BREAKFAST

Maureen said...

*Standing* *Applauding*
Bravo! Bravo!
Exellent narration today!
Now I have to go acid wash my eyes!

mel said...

LOL...you've tickled my double entendre mind....and for a swell (snicker) time, enlarge (snicker) the last cake picture...it really comes into full (snicker) focus....

Keep it up!!! (I mean the funny, funny blog....)

wv - tureact: it is impossible not tureact to these cakes....

Anonymous said...

On the first cake, I see the baseball being in mid-flight, and Dad's going to have one hell of a contusion on his keister!

Puppygirl said...

Presumably-- yes, yes, I know what it means to ass-u-me -- the bakery has food colouring. (unless they actually get large canisters of icing in all the rainbow colours)
Why do these bakers assume that one standard "brown" works for all shades?
I'm going to guess that if I left that last "bat" on the baker's doorstep, his first thought would be neither "who left this icing here?" nor "why would someone leave a baseball bat?".

amanda said...

Yes, you guys managed to outdo yourselves again. And I thought as a seasoned cake wreaks fan I could be trusted with a cup of coffee whilst viewing. Now my eyes and my monitor need washing.

April said...

ok, putting candles into the poo...will not make the cake any more appetizing.

And what does a baseball have to do with a police billy club...and a moldy blues clues thinking chair??? :P

DD said...

Holy Jeebus! I'm gonna go raunchy here...that last cake? It looks like it went in for a home run but came out with a BIG swing and a miss. BIG miss. And the lady (or man, I don't judge) got taken totally by surprise and...and..well..you know what she (or he) did.

sendingtheclowns said...

WHERE do you FIND this crap??!!

Only a guy (~~and a baseball-obsessed, colorblind, and lobotomised one, at that) could even consider appreciating these abject failures.


Regarding Dan's uh, *endorsement*...if someone got as far as third base with me and then started swinging THAT thing at me, I'd be the one running for home.
"Louisville Slugger," indeed...

=^>.<^=

Alicia said...

That last one is SO BAD. I feel like a little part of my cake-loving soul just died.

sendingtheclowns said...

Anyway, the impotent* thing to remember is:

It really is just cake!
Close your eyes, make a wish, pucker up and blow. =^~.-^=


*not a typo

TornadoAlli said...

Jen, I'm so proud you got your sports analogies right!

WV: miankini

I don't think Dan would be able to fit in a miankini ;)

Babsiegirl said...

Some kind of joystick, indeed.

Krantz said...

"Something something... 'some kind of joystick'" I just about spewed when I lol'd!
Also: the commenters are just ON today!! :)

No Cake Fo' You!!! said...

what the slimy hell is that last one supposed to be.....Yeah, those were all real bad!!! *eyes burning*

wv: Those wreckoraters LASILY put those awful cakes together....

VT said...

Love them!

Sara @ The Football Wife said...

How does the bakery not say, "Gee... pretty much looks like a _______. Let's start over."??

crownring said...

Take me out to the ballgame, but please don't poop on the field.....

There aren't enough candles in the world to make that last "bat" look like anything but poo........

Karen said...

Laughing... SO funny! This is a good day, Jen. A VERY good day! :)

Christine said...

That last cake was painful to see. It made me throw-up a little in my mouth. Agreed with SuBee: "MY EYES!!!"...what were they even trying to do? What IS it??? ugh.

Lol. Great blog today!!

Anonymous said...

That last one....WOW. A glistening pile o' poo. One could scrape that off, put it in a brown paper sack and set it on fire on someone's doorstep. Hey! Maybe that's why the candles were stuck in it!

Rachel

Donna said...

LMAOOOOOO Third Base!!! LMAOOOOOO!!


Thanks for the Friday laughs!

Anonymous said...

That last cake. That bat just doesn't need swung, anywhere.

The rest of them are, uh, very sporting. Yeah. Sporting.

Anonymous said...

Come on, guys. It's difficult to poop out a baseball like that. Let's cut the guy some slack. Better yet, let's BUY him some slacks.

Ms. MM said...

Me: *How do people not notice this kind of thing...*

-Scrolls to last cake-

Me: AAAAAAAAARGH!!!! BRAIN BLEACH!!! BRAIN BLEACH!!!

Beth S said...

That last cake looks like a monster from Godzilla - those caterpillar looking baby Mothra things - attacking a little league game. I imagine the candles are the kids... heh.

SaraCVT said...

Re Cake #4: OK, am I truly the only one who has been reading this blog long enough to understand that the wreckerator was going for a catcher's mitt in the lower right corner? That's a scary thought. Although I don't know why he or she felt the need to put grass on it... (And it really does look like a moldy Blues Clues thinking chair, giggle, chortle, *snort*)

Loo-E Loo-I said...

I Don't Know...THIRD BASE!

Well I guess he's the world's greatest dad 'cuz he's got a nice butt. O.o
or
It's a sarcasm cake because I don't think the world's greatest dad would moon everyone.

Just put that last cake in a paper bag, light the candles, and leave it on the wreckerator's doorstep.


wv: easit. Easit does it: not according to these cakes!

Katie (Kali) said...

Apparently I'm not too good with the double entendre. So my reading went like this, *read, look at picture, reread, look at picture* *pause* "AAAACCKKK!"

Slartibarfast42 said...

wv: shfort

SHFORT!!!!! -- the exact sound that exploded from my vocal cords at great volume when I saw today's wrechs!

vinie said...

I just love the first cake. How could the "artist" totally not see this? And the last one...i don't want to think about it. Looks like a slug that got in the wrong,wrong places.

And on another note, happy Quebec day! ^^ (national day here, so at least i will have something to do to "try" to forget about that last horror.)

Spel Chek said...

Any one but me see a moss infested arm chair in cake 4?
WV - sersi: I sersi think that not a mitt

2littlekids said...

I *snort* can"t *snort, snort* stop laughing! A good reminder to not attempt a baseball cake for my boy! *snort*

sendingtheclowns said...

Sara @ The Football Wife said...
"How does the bakery not say, "Gee... pretty much looks like a _______. Let's start over."??"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your guess is as good as the next!
Here--some possibly-possible reasons for a your random, anonymous bakery not doing that:

1. They actually believe that they did a great job.
2. They actually believe that they did a great job, AND are even a bit worried that they're not charging ENOUGH, to boot.
3. They shrug to themselves, muttering, "I get paid minimum wage...I should give a rat's ass what it looks like."
4. They made it look pretty much like a "________" ON PURPOSE, have a camera handy and plan on sending it to some funny blog or something...'cause, you know...they're out there and stuff...

=^u.u^=

Aliza said...

#1 That's what dad gets for wearing his pants too short. Again.

#2 Sorry, all I can think is "ouch". I mean, the "bat" is so big, it looks like the green is indented a bit under the tip.

#3 is that a ball, or is that bat really happy with that glove? And what's Nick's friend(s) really saying about his hobbies?

#4 a brown armchair? I guess that's one kind of... fan.

#5 Ok, that's so bad, it's beyond commenting on.


And "dicktionary", penicillin, impotent, and pointing the bat up... . Yup, further proof that humour (CW) attracks humour (the fans)!

Melanie P said...

That last one... suggestively shaped shiny poo on moldy cake with little pink maggo....
.
.
.
.
.
BEEEEEP

Recorded message: {I'm sorry, please excuse my word absence. I was vomiting and had to protect my keyboard and carpet by running to the great white porcelain throne. Thank you.}

Anonymous said...

WV: unablush - to turn red all over

Which is what these cakes did to me! Yeeps.

Merry from Annie's Book Stop/Sharon, MA

The Reluctant Diva said...

If you're going to place candles on a baseball-themed cake such as the last one, wouldn't it make more sense to put a few on the bases instead of cramming several into the..."bat"?


WV: giessol
"You wanna stick these candles into this here poop log?" "Yup, giessol!"

Shauna said...

This dog might have something to say about that last cake. Dogpoopsonfield

Jenniffer said...

I don't normally comment on a post more than once, but I showed this post to my husband and after he saw the last cake he started singing "When you're sliding into first, and you hear something burst.. diarrhea!"

Karen said...

Oh, V.D. gave you that last joke? Oy! This one made me chuckle. Good job. :)

Amy Ellen said...

All I can say is ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww on that last one.... That is so so nasty....

Anonymous said...

thank goodness those pink things on the last one are candles!! really, I was thinking intestinal worms so the poo image made sense (!) but it also looks like a "disco stick" so that was reeeeaaallly freaking me out.

yes, I understand that's not what should have been freaking me out but that's life in my head.

-Barbara Anne

(now, I have The Gaga and P!ink battling in my head-how much wronger could this post get??)

The Shenaniganizer said...

Wow, that last one looks like sh....ahem, I mean uh...yeah...thinking, thinking....ah! It looks like devlin!!!(thank you, Adam Sandler!).

Stacie Hogan said...

sendingtheclowns said...

Anyway, the impotent* thing to remember is:

It really is just cake!
Close your eyes, make a wish, pucker up and blow. =^~.-^=

~~~~~~~~

Thank you for this. I was laughing sooo hard! And the first one just cracked me up. Poor cake artist. They tried so hard.

and my wv: vibrates. bahahahahaha!

Angie said...

I swear that those bakers have to be doing that on purpose.

And I really wish I could learn how to un-see things. I really, really do.

Caprice said...

Tears! LOL!

No Capes said...

The last cake reminds me of a song...all together now!

When you're running into first
And you feel you're gonna burst


When you're sliding into third
and you feel a juicy -----


When you're running down to home
and your pants are filled with foam...

...you get the idea