Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dad's Birthday Presents

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Father's Day is this weekend, so today I thought we'd celebrate the most important thing our dads ever gave us:


Balloons.


Yep, nothing livened up our childhoods quite like Dad's special birthday balloons, am I right?

And, sure, they weren't always perfect. Sometimes they were a bit small:


Or a bit big:


Or even shaped a bit wonky:


Sometimes they'd get lost on their way to the party:


Or they weren't durable enough to last once they got there:



Sometimes dad's balloons didn't seem to know if they were coming or going!


But the important thing to remember is that, in the end, dads' balloons always got the job done.

Score three for Dad!



Thanks to Kathleen, Jess, Jamie, Pontmarie, Pat S., Denise C., Kevin C., & Julie C. for the beautiful "balloons."

Angie said...

Uh... Wow.

Fluffy Cow said...

I read the first line before the pictures loaded and starting hoping that you would go there...
You did.
Thank you.

SuBee said...

Triplets!!!



WV: Unoniz- I fear that when the decorators "unoniz" it may be difficult to fire those responsible for these wrecks.

Gary said...

Looks like that last embryo is going to be tetraploid.


(If you understand that comment, you must be a science nerd like me.)

Canterbury Cakes said...

So funny

mimi said...

Balloons. Dad's balloons are responsible for lots of things. Even deadbeat dads seem to have given balloons at some point in time.

BP said...

Haha. This is an...interesting...if not highly applicable/appropriate tribute for Father's Day! ;D LOL Wreck on!

Micalah said...

Such a funny post!
Thanks Jen!

Anonymous said...

Any man can be a balloon donor, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Anonymous said...

please tell me that last one was a baby shower cake for a woman having triplets, that would make my day

Cate said...

OK, I'll admit it... I was halfway through the post before the lightbulb went on. The last one had my co-workers looking at me funny because I was laughing so hard. Well done, as always.

bassgirl said...

At age 75, Paul's little swimmers look like they are doing really well!

Anonymous said...

Good for Paul, who still gets to celebrate his birthday with balloons. And at his age, too. ;)

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

That runny egg white one made me want to throw up! And I get what that last one looks like, but what was is *supposed* to be?

Anonymous said...

What the... in what alternate world are those balloons O_o

Anonymous said...

Funny post! Not to criticize, but isn't it Flag Day? Or are you showing patriotism by not posting any more wrecked flags?

Sharyn said...

Ewwww. Now I know why food service workers wear those cellophane gloves.

Always practice safe cake.

Kimberly Chapman said...

I read on an infertility support board that if we eat that last cake, it increases your chance of getting pregnant, especially if it is pineapple flavoured including mashed-up core*.





* Of course if you read any infertility support group for any length of time you will see tons of anecdotal "evidence" that [fill in this blank] really truly helps you get pregnant regardless of scientific accuracy. It's mostly bunk. But I bet you I could successfully spread a rumour that eating that cake would work if I was so inclined!


@Gary See, this blog is read by many science nerds. No worries. :)

mel said...

I want to thank my dad for giving my mom balloons in May (anticipatory Mother's Day gift???). Re: coming or going...I think his were coming, since I arrived after the traditional waiting period.


wv - woote: celebratory exclamation...woote, woote...sometimes accompanies the delivery of balloons....

Auntie J said...

This would have only been more perfect if you'd waited to post it until tomorrow...mostly because that's actually my dad's birthday! *giggle*

Angela said...

Momma always said the one thing all father's had in common wasn't something they put on cake. Can't wait to show her this! (Well as I got older she admited they did put them on cakes but somehow never for father's day.)

Mrs. Howard said...

Ugh, #6! Is that what happens to icing left out for an eternity? That would make an interesting science project.

Beverly Diehl said...

Ha-ha-ha-ha! @Sharyn - applause on your safe cake comment.

WV: throsub Throsub scary-looking balloons on dose cakes.

Jenny said...

Excellent.

I'm pretty sure balloons should be considered an advanced technique, since I've seen it take *cough* someone a year or more to be able to not make them spermy.

Anna said...

OMGoodness... you went there. You totally went there. It was brilliant.

Muria said...

I really don't know what to say about the brown "balloons."

I'm pretty sure something further could be said, but I really don't know what. I'm thinking that's a good thing.

claudia b said...

thanks for featuring my son Aidan's cake - he thought they were cockroaches :D

Lalis said...

My work gives away "balloons".

Seriously, http://lalisrccc.blogspot.com/2009/04/way-too-much-sperm-y-fun.html (We're not a novelty shop, we do paternity testing/forensic casework)

mouse said...

I think the "balloons" in cake #6 are actually pool balls. Well, if there were more of them and they were different colors and... nevermind. It's "hopeless".



wv: douted. I never douted those were balloons! Well, okay, maybe... the whole time. :-)

BADKarma! said...

There are no words... O_O

Anonymous said...

"Coming and going" LOLOLOLOL You slay me!

What's the "WV" thing all about?

Gwyndall

lisadh said...

Hilarious! Great job!

Flartus said...

Oh my, truly LOL! Or, as Dad would say, "Har har har!! *koff koff koff*"

Seriously, in a very odd way I'm thrilled that you found such a great use for all these...balloon decorations. Great job today!

Tracy O said...

As a geneticist, I might look at that last cake as the excuse for the wreckerator - "I have too many chromosomes to decorate correctly - see!?!"
TracyO (,PhD <== science geek)

May said...

Cake # 3. Costco. I can almost guaran-dam-tee it. They make yummy cakes but their icing balloons are .. not quite.. balloony!

Mandy said...

ACK! poo and sperm, poo and sperm. Honestly, when will the madness end?!

Dana said...

Just REALLY thankful there were no white umm...BALLOONS. yeah.

amanda, a science nerde said...

Spot on , Gary!

Jen, John, you guys are too too too hysterically funny.

wv: reard- these balloons help a father have well-reard children

erinmself said...

Had to post my wv- "chrom", short for chromosome. I wonder if these cakes contain x chrom's or y chom's...

NiteNurse said...

Great wrecks!


wv: wordi.

Not now.

SaraCVT said...

Sunday is also my birthday! I just love it when Father's Day and my birthday co- incicide-it's always a special day for my dad and me. I was also born on Father's Day-since I'm the eldest child, I imagine it as "Happy Father's Day! You're a father!" (I'll let you know if my cake is a wreck...)

Sam Gamgee said...

Congratulations, you have us all trained.

Marytoo said...

Gwyndall, the wv is the Word Verification you are required to type in that blank down there in order to be allowed to comment. Sometimes they are just hilariously apropos.

Heather said...

BLAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "coming or going!" literally laughed so hard the kids thought i was insane!!! of course, i couldn't show them the post... because i'd rather leave them out of the joke than to traumatize them with sperm poo! ROFL

SaraCVT said...

WV: foras. "Foras much as I like cake, I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of THOSE cakes..."

Anonymous said...

Looks like sperm whales on that 75th birthday cake!

Janellionaire said...

So many questions...when did poo-shaped piles of icing become decoration? Brown balloons? Really? And cupcake cakes...why? Just...why?

BarefootCajun said...

Great post! I'm falling out of my chair laughing over here.

Melinda said...

I refuse to believe that the wreckorator who made the blue "balloons" had no idea what they looked like. In fact, I imagine that he or she was giggling madly the entire time.

Anonymous said...

[insert huge grin here]

nothing I say can will do justice to this post

-Barbara Anne

pikkewyntjie said...

I was worried when I saw the first cake. I thought it was for a 13-year-old dad! It happens.

Pauline said...

I think Aidan's cake is covered in mutant tadpoles. As for Matt's cake.....:(

Craig said...

#4 My brain wants to know how that gelatinous effect was achieved and whether it was intentional (if intentional, WHY?). My stomach, on the other hand, is experiencing a total lack of curiosity.

#6 Note to self: never shop at the Graphic Bakery.

Anonymous said...

wv: dertio

Some of those captions were dertio, but freakin hilarious nonetheless. Keep it up!

Arlene said...

Well without dads balloons I wouldn't be here lol.. sheesh do they all have to look like deformed alien sperm? Or worse yet deformed colored poo swirls of doom? Scary and evil wreckerators lol.

Oli said...

Never mind the cakes... you write so well :-) Keep it up.

sendingtheclowns said...

Well. MY theory is that these thingamabobbers are SUPPOSED to represent sperm. "Why?", you say?
Because they are all FOR GUYS.
And what do guys like to brag about the most?
Okay--besides THAT.
Yes, their sperm counts. The topic even outranks discussions about the size of their engines, their shoe size-although that is tied in ("big shoes, big...." you know--winkwink), and the sperm cakes Mother used to make.
But what do *I* know...I'm only married to one ( a guy, not a sperm)...

=^~.-^=

Tara said...

Um, seriously decorators, don't bother with balloons. Like chocolate frosting "creations", there's just no way to get it to look anything like what you intend.

Diana (From Texas) said...

Thanks to Cake Wrecks, I avoid making balloons on any cakes! I am skeered they will look like these "balloons."

Meghan Smith said...

It comes to a point when people are just trying to get on Cake Wrecks. Especially the first one. That baker knew full well that looked nothing like balloons.

wv. sumli, The bakers said those were balloons but sum li