Monday, April 18, 2011

Easter EGGcellence

Monday, April 18, 2011

Ok, bakers, huddle up!

Now, listen: Easter is coming. That means a lot of long hours, hard work, and painstaking effort on your part to ensure we make some of the most beautif...BWAHAHAHA!!

AHAHAHAHAA!!

[wiping eyes] Sorry, sorry! I really thought I'd get through that with a straight face this year. Heehee!

Right: start your airbrushes! I'll see you back here in five.

Bee-YOO-tiful.

Nice aim on those jelly beans, Jim!


And good call on the "Peep Peep." That'll clue 'em in it's not a swan or a banana or something.


Not bad, but I can still see a little icing. Can we get a little more plastic in here?


And speaking of plastic, here's a great recycling tip:

St. Patrick would be proud.


And remember, bakers: the more plastic, the less time, skill, and hassle!

I made this one in 15 seconds.

With my feet.

(Aaaand that'll be $14.99, please. Cha-ching!)


And lastly, I don't actually know what this is...

...but it looks like a really efficient use of time. So let's make a few dozen more.


Thanks to Stephanie J., Angela M., Alexandra M., Shay K., Tony D., Diana Y., & Stephanie R., who think that's supposed to be a bunny rabbit.

[staring in stunned silence]


Well, one thing's for sure: You're not getting a Peep out of me.
Annette said...

Why, oh why did they draw a happy face on that Peep Bunny's nether regions on that last cake?!?

firecat88 said...

Is that second-to-last one supposed to be a pi symbol made out of cupcakes? Also, what's with the weird mutant rabbit/Snorlax hybrid?

Also, that 'peep' looks like a seahorse.

wv: illey- I feel illey after looking at these.

Oldish Lady said...

Apparently "forest bunnies" are entirely unrelated to any other life form on this planet.

thesacredandtheprofane said...

It's too bad that second to the last one had all the Easter flotsam on it. It's the perfect shape for celebrating Pi Day.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Haha! I totally thought the peep was a sea monster!

Anonymous said...

Ahahahaha the pi symbol is the first letter of the Greek word for Easter "Pasha" made out of cupcakes and covered with flotsam and pink poop AMAZING! Greetings From Greece
Greekmom

Becky said...

I wonder if banana slugs make noise when they mate. They could go "peep peep".

Danger Boy said...

Holy...
I think sometimes you get submissions from people who only make cakes to donate them to starving children in 3rd world countries.
It's my delusion, let me have it.

wv: storkno "Stork no come here. They just bake you baby anyway."

Anonymous said...

The last one looks like a mutant hyacinth with a Peep bunny stuck to it.

J. said...

Will you be resurrecting this post on Sunday? ;-)

Fluffy Cow said...

Forest bunnies... yeah, right. It also looks like a Hebrew lette, which is funny as Passover starts tonight. No cake for a week. :-(
Fortunately, Cake Wrecks has no leavening!

Anonymous said...

I don't know whether to be happy or sad that there are apparently no Passover wrecks...

I'll go with happy that we're not exposed to such abominations. Yeah, that sounds good. :p

Farrell said...

Have you seen Baskin Robins Easter Bunny cake.. CREEPY!!!

Reverend Ref + said...

Nice aim, Jim.

Awesome

Dragon Dominic Brendle said...

Those are nice looking cakes! How do you make those look so good? It is awesome I want to Eat one of those! AWESOME!

The English Teacher said...

Why is the 15-second cake shaped like the Greek letter Pi? I thought Pi day was March 14.
But, hey, I'm no baker. What do I know?

Melissa McRae said...

Eeeek, that last one kinda scares me!

kayk said...

But hey, they totally nailed that Peep eye. Looks just like the ones on a real Peep!

wv: swindirk. That'd be a great name for the hero in a historical romance novel, the kind with Fabio on the cover.

Anonymous said...

Where's the eye bleach...

Ask the Easter Bunny for a Faberge Egg, please.
Mocking

Kayla said...

The 2nd one looks like strung out sperm...BTW I freakin love this blog...everyday I look forward to my break so I can run out and read what you posted

mel said...

That second cake is clearly a spring fertility cake celebrating the race of the sperm to the mystical, welcoming ovum on the top of the cake.... The last cake is the bunny version of Mr. Bill, realizing that once again he's stuck on a mess and gonna get it.

wv - jacces: As in, "Wow, my cake turned out so bad I feel like a jacces."

Anonymous said...

"with my feet" I laughed so hard!

Gary said...

At the next Cake Wrecks annual convention, lets have a contest to see who can decorate the best cake purely by throwing stuff at it from at least 15 feet away.

LeftWingLock said...

St Patrick's Day = March 17
Easter = April 24

Yeah...recycling is not a good idea this year. Last year Easter was April 4, but that still would have been a batch of at least 3 week old cupcakes.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Gary,

I'm in the process of planning the next book tour with Jen and I think your idea is fantastic. We'll call it The "Art" of "Decorating" a Cake "Professionally" Class and everyone will get a piece of flotsam to chuck at a cake. So fun.

john

Donna said...

Just look at those little happy swimmers on cake 2. I wonder where the "Easter Egg" is....

kimberj said...

I'm pretty sure the 3rd one is Jimmy Durante in a chicken suit. The last one may be a bunny hiding in a mound of purple hay (ze). Get it... purple haze... as in you'd have to be on acid to think anyone would pay for that cake.

Stephanie said...

"You're not getting a Peep out of me" - cracked me up. Thanks. I really needed a laugh today. :)

Christina said...

I'm pretty sure the last picture is an egg shaped cake, covered in piped icing "stars". Would have been a plain, but OK cake, if not for the oddly placed peeps bunny on there...

Janellionaire said...

Oh man! I almost forgot to get an Easter wreath for my pet rabbit! Whew!

wv: shess - New Cake Wrecks? Shess!

Adorably Dead said...

The last one looks like it's screaming.

BigMomma said...

The last one must be from the west coast. I guess more radiation has leaked in than we thought.

Phil said...

I think Jackson Pollock did the second one.

Anonymous said...

That second cake, with the jelly beans--those aren't supposed to look like sperm, are they? Or is sperm Easter-y?

Anonymous said...

I honestly thought that the one with the jelly beans was sperm swimming to the top of the cake....

mzmclean said...

Probably in the minority here (because reading the comments FIRST would be.... sensible), but the runny jelly beans... (Or My Little Pony spermies, you be the judge)? I kinda like it.

Oh wait... you are being the judge.. judging me!! :-P

Anonymous said...

The jelly-bean one looks like it's colorful sperm. I guess that could be one way of looking at Spring...as new baby bunnies go hopping around

Anonymous said...

I think I know what that last cake is, and if I'm right it's no worse than the real thing. I think they were going for one of those hard pressed sugar eggs that you could look into and see a scene. I don't really know which scares me more though.

Jeffrey said...

The last is an Easter chia pet? Or, an attempt at a Faberge egg. It's Fab..err....NOT.

I have never commented, but your blog in general makes me VERY happy. I really appreciate you so much!! Thank you!

Carver PTO said...

I thought the last cake was a sad looking bow! lol

BADKarma! said...

That third one is a highly accurate depiction of the "Sea-Peep", a rare variety of Dragonfish which lives in the Great Barrier Reef near Brisbane, Australia, and feeds exclusively by taking tiny bites out of tourists.

WV: Betor - Betor not get too close to that Sea-Peep, Marsha. It looks hungry.

Sheila Anderson said...

The yellow "peep peep" chicky cake looks more like a yellow lochness monster!

Cake Pop Fusion said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! LOVE this post! "I made this in 15 seconds..... with my feet..... cha-ching!!" Oh my gosh, you're awesome! Thanks for making my day!

Janus said...

Okay, that "Peep Peep" thing looked sort of like the Gryphon Thunderzord from the second season of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Auto Title Loans said...

This could be one of two things:

1. It was a decorating contest from a group of first graders. Obviously, the plastic is like stickers- and what 6 year-old doesn't enjoy stickers?

2. It was an advertising campaign from the Plastics Counsel, because "Plastic makes it possible."

lLinda said...

I think that last cake sort of looks like the rabbit version of Mr. Bill.
Ohhhhhh nooooooooooo!

Classic Steve said...

A peeping chess knight?

Anonymous said...

They used a bunny peep to make a bunny face on an egg shaped cake. Well, it's creative.

Anonymous said...

Saw "Hop" yesterday - cute movie. But I learned where jelly beans come from...ewwwww! Explains that cake even more.

Joanie

Evelyn said...

We get our Easter cakes from a local bakery that makes yummy carrot cake with cream cheese frosting - on top (edge)is a ring of nicely done icing carrots with just a bit of green on the "grow" end - not at all wreck-worthy, just nice, simple, and what we like!

Your picks are more fun to look at though. ;-)

sara said...

damn I was hoping to be the first with a Pi joke

Anonymous said...

O_o that about covers it. Such abominable cakes should be locked up for life. That last one WTF D:

Wrecking Belle said...

I love how there's a single bite mark out of the Peep Peep cake. Perhaps it doesn't taste better than it looks?

Anonymous said...

Let's hope the Pi Easter cake is not left over from pi day!

Crystal said...

Looking at this with me 3 year old. We came to the "Peep" CCC. I asked him what it was and his reply? "I don't know, but it has wheels!" My thoughts exactly son. My thoughts exactly.

Craig said...

@Danger Boy, haven't starving 3rd world children suffered enough?! They would probably send these back.

#1 Looks like a cloud, or maybe a pillow. Nice attempt to disguise the cupcakes, anyway.

#2 "Someone left the cake out in the rain..."

#3 I kept seeing wheels on the bottom. That, plus the 'international caution' yellow, led me to realize: it's a Trojan seahorse. 'Peep peep' is the sound it makes when it backs up.

#4 By the time you get rid of the Astroturf and the flotsam, is there anything edible on the plate? And why do I think the tape in the background didn't just happen to be there.

#5 Despite the (Soylent) green, I was expecting cinnamon rolls. Then I saw the telltale paper cup liners... I wish I could un-CCC this.

#6 Forrest bunnies are related to frogs. Look it up. On Wikipedia. Mwahahaha.

#7 "I just wanna give a shout out to the Peeps!"

Wv: trounkup. That last cake in particular was a complete trounkup.

KayT said...

Blink. Blink. Blink....Nope, that first cake just can't be in focus! And the second one - it's got THINGS crawling up it!!

wv: slyin. Stick all that stuff slyin around on the cake; yeah, all that plastic stuff!

Micalah said...

I THINK that a bunny...

Anonymous said...

The pink bunny will only speak on condition of anonymity.

Did anyone else see a Viking ship in that "Peep Peep" CCC, or am I just making these whiskey sours too strong?

WV: uphandu. Since he was a very young man, Jim has worked vigorously to master the uphandu method for sticking Jelly Beans onto the cake juuust right.

~The Pink Bunny

Anonymous said...

I thought the last one was an attempt at a Chippendale bunny. It kind of looks like a bow-tie, and maybe arms or a tux shirt?... I don't think I want to know what the giant purple egg has to do with it.

Pilgrim said...

My 1st thought upon seeing the jelly bean cake was, "Why are sperm trying to crawl up that white cake?"
But, they're rainbow colored sperm... so appropriate for spring!

Anonymous said...

Its not a CCC peep, its a dinosaur! probably Godzillas catholic cousin, or pedgan pedning on how you view easter....
Rebecca Hamilton

Linz said...

Actually, I thought #3 looked more like that optical illusion where you're supposed to see either a duck or a rabbit.

And, I thought #4 looked pretty good until I realized that it was all plastic.

LizWoj said...

J @ 10:41am - thank you for the LLOL! "resurrecting this post" - awesome!

And Jen - thanks as always for the LLOLs, "with my feet" - heeheehee!

Anonymous said...

Love the jelly bean cake. Nothing says spring like sperm all over an Easter cake. Spring is a time of renewal and birth, so it's very fitting. And it could be recycled for a baby shower!

~ Krystil

Anonymous said...

That last one is the famous yet little-known Purple Rhinocerous Hedgehog found in the African part of Bucklebury in the U.K. It nests in plastic and eats sprinkles.

-Lyn, a wreckzoothropologist

Managed Hosting said...

With all that plastic, why even bother making a cake? It would be even more effortless to not do it!

ninja dude 11 said...

Easter road runner days ...peep peep

Anonymous said...

Liizzz
The second cake...definitely sperm on LSD.

Anonymous said...

This is terrible - but the last cake looks just like the toilet paper cover one of my aunts crocheted. It sat on the back of the toilet. The yellow thingy on hers was supposed to be flowers, I think. I can't tell you how much it disturbs me.

Anonymous said...

I just hope the joint St Patrick's/Easter cake was an old photo from a year when Easter was really early and close to March 17...although looking up the dates for when Easter occurs, the earliest is 3/23, last happening in 2008, so maybe not??
Frequency of the Date of Easter 1875 to 2124

Gotta love the description on the sales label for the "forest bunnies" cake--"cupcake pull-apart 12 count". At least they didn't try to call it an actual "cake"!

Angie said...

Good gravy, those are just bad.

Lily Marie :) said...

Easter PI ?!?!
more recycling perhaps??

Anonymous said...

#1 The putrid pink and blurry blue bunny of doom sends the frat boys screaming into the night.

#2 I though sperm only swam upstream not upcake.

#3 When amoebas attack. Or it’s Rick Astley.

#4 At least the oranges in the background are pretty- good going, Mother Nature.

#5 It’s the Estonian Kissing Cross- slightly less well known than the Blarney Stone.

#6 A Cow Pi by any other name is still $14.99.

#7 A daisy?


-Barbara Anne

Arlene said...

Oh my gosh.. these are supposed to be Easter cakes?? That first one looks like a martian on drugs lol. At least they aren't the scary and most terrifying of all those Lamb cakes from last year..oh please tell me you didn't find more of those lol.

Anonymous said...

Who cares what that last one is? It has a Peep on it! SOLD!

Craig said...

Good ones, Barbara Anne. Astley FTW -- that's how Rick rolls. I do see a resemblance, come to think of it.

Be careful with the term, 'frat boy', though. As for the implication that daisies in any way resemble that last mess, it is important to maintain a high standard of factual accuracy on a comedy blog about bad cakes.

Does the green cross look deep fried to anyone else, or just me?

Marvinator said...

That last one I recognize, it is a full bodied Peep with G-String and Pasties about to climb up on a purple stage. Hey, I spend my Easter MY way, you can spend it your way.

Sarah said...

On the last cake - the purple egg thing - doesn't the peep's expression look a lot like Mr. Bill from SNL? Just sayin'.

Say g'night, Gracie said...

The last one looks like an armadillo to me. Is he auditioning for the Cadbury commercials?

laurenlibrarian said...

Apparently I'm the only poster who saw the jelly bean cake and thought "How cute! Little bitty balloons! Oh...those are jelly beans? Oh well."

The Weaver Olsons said...

'Watership Down' in lard and sugar.

Anonymous said...

These make the Easter Bunny cry tears of blood. BLOOD I TELL YOU!

I SWEAR I will try to get some pictures to you of some REALLY CUTE Easter/Spring cupcakes that they're selling at my local grocery store.

Seriously, they are SO CUTE you wouldn't want to eat them, but display them.

Anonymous said...

Mom & Daughter L

Ummm, that yellow thing is the rarely seen "Loch Ness Peep"

lactneti: Latin for 'plastic flotsom'

~Alissa said...

"And lastly, I don't actually know what this is...
...but it looks like a really efficient use of time..."

Jen, can't you tell? It's the Holiday Armadillo!

DocDanika said...

So clearly the peep peep banana thing is an Easter seahorse. Not sure why you missed the boat on that one.

And the last purple "rabbit" is a festive version of Morla, the giant know-all turtle of "Neverending Story" fame. The face is what remains of the Easter Bunny when he tried to disturb Morla in the Swamps of Sadness...