Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Guess What!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's time to play everyone's favorite game:

What...Is...THIS??


Hm. Well, it says, "Princess," and there's a scepter and a tiara on it.

So I'm going with "uterus."


Uh...

Also "uterus."


"Uterus on LSD."


"Uterus with sprinkles"


"This is getting ridiculous."


And finally, today's bonus round is in the bag:

The magic baby bag.

Awww yeeeeeah.


Hey, Mandi B., Elizabeth A., Vicktoria R., Caitlin & Anthony, Kelly J., & Shayna S., you know how to politely refuse a uterus cake, right? "Thanks, but I gestate."
The Boob Nazi said...

These are horrifying.

Trevor said...

Someone has uterus on the brain! :)

Wendy said...

This makes me miss mine even more. I need some cake.

Sarah said...

What? I just guessed what so now you have to tell me what I won.

8424c696-390c-11e0-9801-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Uterus cakes. Sad to say, you are correct, it's exactly what they look like. But WHY???

scrapopotamos said...

"uterus with sprinkles."

I used to think everything was better with sprinkles. Maybe not so much anymore?

phantomessj said...

This post just made my morning! I'm going to have the psychadelic uterus in my head all day. Ha ha ha!

Sharon said...

On LSD....*snort* *chortle*

Had that one not said Hook 'Em, I would not have guessed that to be a cow head at all.

What? No Princess Bride quotes today? These certainly deserve it.

Sharon's Edible Art

LillyW said...

All I can see is uteruses. It is disturbing, although now my brain is turned to what is if that was the proper spelling for plural uterus. I feel as though uterus should be the plural for uterus, like moose. My brain is suffeciently addled. Time to go to work.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Those are hysterical! Cake 1, reminds me of Shrek 2 when the fairy godmother gets zapped and all that's left is her glasses and wand.

Cake 2, Boy what a sadistic cake! Smack, then pucker up? (read it like the old Batman TV show...Pow! Zap!)? I guess that's why the lips are so huge.

Cake 3, "Uterus on LSD" LOL-ed on that one! I think it's starin' at me man!

Cake 4, Uterus with sprinkles? She may want to go have that checked out.... O.o

Cake 5, I'm guessing that's supposed to be some sort of sport team mascot? FAIL.

Cake 6, Yeah, another one that needs their Va-dragon checked. Spots. Not. Good. Nice lettering tho'.

wv: chancy: It's awful chancy using these "bakers" to make your cake!

Sarah W. said...

"Gestate!" Buahahaha!

Anna said...

Are you trying to say something, is Jon expecting ?!?!?!?!

Julia said...

I Gestate... I love it

Doc Anne said...

Ohhhh, Jen! Gestate???? I love your puns more than cake.

Anonymous said...

Honk Em?

Robyn said...

Ouch. The longhorn cake hurts. Any baker worth their salt in Texas knows how to make a longhorn cake.

Lunatizzy said...

I'd like to think my uterus is psychedelic. ;D

Jean Burke said...

"Thanks, but I gestate."

Awesome! Made me snort! Thanks...

ernietheattorney said...

ernietheattorney

These cakes are uterus-lly ridiculous!

Love them all, in a wrecky sort of way.

wv - mingrae: Looking at all the uterine wrecks gave me a mingrae headache!

Elizabeth C. said...

Is the Princess Uterus moldy? Maybe flecked with dark purple overspray from a different cake??

Noortje said...

"Uterus on LSD"
I just chocked on my coffee.
You rock this post :)

mel said...

At least the Uterus on LSD looks...well...happy! I think it's smiling...or maybe it's a flashback....

wv - dusnes: Hey - dusnes look like a uterus to you?

Ellen said...

" . . . but I gestate." Genius!

Those are positively fallopian (what? It's an adjective, isn't it?).

wv - sansupsy

I'm embarrassed to say "uterus" - I prefer cutesy words. So, I'll just say that, since my hysterectomy, I am sansupsy. Hope your upsy is fine!

DangGina said...

Ridiculous is right!

Oh gee...I hope I don't see uteri (plural?) everywhere I look now. That's the last thing I need...

Anonymous said...

I would just like to say that my almost two year old daughter climbed in my lap when I was looking at today's post, looked at the screen, popped her thumb out of her mouth, and said "Oh no!". Even a two year old can recognize a Wreck.

Melanie said...

Being pregnant, I have had my uterus on my mind lately so I appreciate today's post. Thank you!

"Gestate" !!!! Love it! :)

But I must ask -- what was the LSD uterus really supposed to be?

M. Dale said...

I can see what they were all going for except for the one on LSD. What is that supposed to be and why can't I see it? (Help!)

Maureen said...

"Thanks but I gestate"????
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I love a good pun in the morning. Thank you.

hickmama said...

I once made a co-worker a Uterus Memory Book when she was getting ready to have a hysterectomy, complete with opening "Ode to My Uterus" poem. Who knew we could have had cake too??

Jamie said...

I don't see how that one on LSD could be anything BUT a uterus! WHY does this exist?? :J

Anonymous said...

Thanks but I gestate XD XD perfect pun :D

Abby said...

This kind of made my day, since I'm going to the lady parts doctor this afternoon. Maybe if I ask nicely she will put some sprinkles there.

Jenny said...

I was totally expecting a pregnancy announcement at the end of this one!

Anonymous said...

Jen, is it that time of the month? uterus on the brain. Does that last one have a venereal disease?

Laura said...

I might like my uterus more if it came with sprinkles.


Hilarious post! <3 <3

Anonymous said...

yes, what was the LSD cake going for? ET meets the Rainbow Connection?

Meanwhile the cake with sprinkles looks like Pippi Longstocking with dandruff (or confetti) in freefall

Mary Connealy said...

The uterus on LSD...I think that one might actually be a uterus...on LSD.
The rest, unrecognizable...

Pamela said...

The last cake is proof that buying a fancy fondant cutting machine doesn't always improve your decorating skills. At least it helps with the spelling.

Anonymous said...

I thought the first one said Princess Balls. Which actually made sense, since they could be pink balls. However, I doubt that Princess' have balls. The others, I got nuthin'.

Gary said...

Uterus #1 looks more like a stomach. If you swallow that much hardware, though, you're definitely going to have a grumbly in your tummy.

And, finally, "Thanks, but I gestate" is a criminally bad pun. And yes, it made me laugh until almost choked.

WV: shesses. Shesses it's not her fault everything looks like a uterus.

Scotland said...

right lets see...

1)The Princess Uterus: ok, I have no clue on this one!

2)The 'Also' Uterus: I think this is supposed to be a set of kissing lips

3)Uterus on LSD: I don't know, but I'm getting trippy just looking at it

4)Uterus with Sprinkles: Pretty sure this is supposed to be yet another set of kissing lips

5)The Ridiculous Uterus: Bull head. Texas Longhorns??

6)The Magic Baby Bag: guessing this is supposed to be a handbag cake... but in reality I think it looks like panties

NiteNurse said...

Abby said "This kind of made my day, since I'm going to the lady parts doctor this afternoon. Maybe if I ask nicely she will put some sprinkles there.

March 23, 2011 11:11 AM"
Abby-- I live in MN too and if you find a lady parts doctor that wacky and fun I'm gonna need details. (thanks for cracking me after I got so giggly at Jen's post.)

I DO have a psychedelic uterus -- but that's because of things I Gestate in the 70's. sigh.

Terrell

Anonymous said...

"Thanks but I gestate." *falls over laughing* :D Your years as a jungle cruise skipper weren't good to you, were they?! :D Love this! NOTHING whets my appetite like cake shaped like ambiguous reproductive organs. So irresistibly YUM.

Anonymous said...

The first one is supposed to be a sash...I think. Sadly, this is actually what the picture looks like from Deco Pac/Bakery Craft. (I don't remember which company actually sells this kit.) So it's their fault for creating such ugly cake designs.

Disgusted in TN

Anonymous said...

When you said "uterus with sprinkles" I almost spat out my coffee. LOL!

Laura said...

When will these CCCs go away?!? Although my local grocery store makes some beautiful ones...

It just makes more sense, with the Sprinkles and Cupcakes, DC craze that people would just order two dozen INDIVIDUALLY decorated cupcakes...doesn't it?

Susan said...

Seriously. What was the "Uterus on LSD" one supposed to be?!

Odie said...

The next to last one is probably supposed to be a Texas Longhorns logo... I think the "writing" on the lower right hand side is supposed to say "Wreck 'Em!"

Oh, irony, you are so sweet.

- Odie

Karen Valinda said...

When I quote your polite refusal I expect you to be there to defend me!
I gestate... my children might block your site from my computer ;-Þ

lisadh said...

Maybe the Longhorn CCC (patooie!) was done by an Aggie. They are the "Wrecking Crew" after all!

Great post today! Perfect pun at the end. LOL!

Miss Monroe said...

WHY?

Stacie said...

The link to the LSD cake says it's a butterfly. Even knowing that, I'm not seeing anything but a uterus!

Martha said...

Oh, Jen. "I gestate." Genius.

Barb said...

"Thanks, but I gestate." GROAN!!!

:D

jane said...

Honestly, what are they trying make? 'Cause uterus is what they all look like to me :P Wierder and wierder :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe these bakers secretly dream of becoming an OB/GYN, should the whole "cake decorating" gig not pan out..

wv: nobetai Nobetai better lay a finger on my uterus cake!!! I gotta get through med school!

Meghan said...

hahahahahahahahaha "Thanks but I gestate" I literally lol'd at work and almost choked on my salad.

Jane said...

@phantomessj (9:49 am): Thank you...if I ever put together an all girl band, I now have a name for it: The Psychedelic Uterus. Awesome!

@Abby (11:11 am): If your "lady parts doctor" won't do it, you could always try Vagazzling! http://www.vajazzling.com/ (Uh...may not be safe for work...)

Anonymous said...

Uteri? Like fungus/fungi? There may have been an uncontrollable outburst at LSD Uterus... I love having to scroll down to see the entire post. It really adds to the shock value seeing the progression of awesomely bad, instead of seeing them all at once. :)

Kelly said...

I know, I know!!! The last one is a uterine tissue sample under the microscope! Now they all relate to one another......if we're talking about uteruses of Texas Longhorns(?) Great "gestate" pun, BTW :)

diddleymaz said...

LOL, seriously especially the "with sprinkles"
(not even gonna mention daisy's)

Marion T. Librarian said...

I think that last uterus has endometriosis...

WV: crocke
Professional bakers? What a crocke!

Debbie In Mich. said...

WV: dewsh. Nothing left to say, certainly goes with today's wrecks.

the robot mommy said...

Yikes, I think I feel some cramping coming on..

Craig said...

#1 Stomach. With scepter and tiara. Took me a while to decode 'Princess Belle'. Not liking the gray spots, though.

#2 If the spots on the first one are what I think, then a bowl of Pepto may be just what is needed afterward.

#3 Even the Correction Cops are flummoxed by this one, it seems. Jen wins!

#4 I see a lei -- which might be what was intended. Scary thought...

#5 Huh. Is it a CCC (patooie!) if the frosting pavement has gaps in it? Perhaps the picture was taken before the final coat was applied.

#6 'Congrats' if you can determine what this was intended to be -- and can get past the salmon mousse frosting and the general yuckiness of the CCC(p).

T said...

you have reason to be proud of the "gestate" pun... that's gold!

the uterus piped onto the marshmallows took me a minute - because by then I couldn't even figure out what ELSE it could have been...

Kimberly Chapman said...

At last year's Austin Day of Sharing a demonstrator had a cutter design that he put on a cake and someone called out, "Everyone here is thinking that looks like a Longhorn!"

I quietly thought, "Um, no, I thought it looked like a uterus."

You're warping me. Awesome. :D

Heather said...

I'm two days overdue, so this post is strangely apropos for me. In any case, you gave this hormonal, weepy pregnant lady a much needed laugh. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

That first one didn't say "Princess Balls"? They missed an opportunity there.

BADKarma! said...

Just goes to show... Uterus oughta be in pictures... (blinkblink)...

WV - arewori: If you arewori'd about trusting wreckerators not to make your ccc look like a uterus, you have a good reason.

Taiette said...

Uterus, but she hardly knew us.

Anonymous said...

I want a Fallopian tube! With sprinkles!

Anonymous said...

All of these "cakes" are CCCs! Anyways...

#1: I'm initial guesses are a short, pudgy pink scarf or a pink crescent moon. I know they have nothing to do with "Princess" but that's all I've got.

#2: Lips. Definitely.

#3: I've got nothing.

#4: I think they are also lips, but mainly do to the fact that there is a red outline (the sprinkles are on top of the red outline)

#5: I think some kind of (white and orange) silhouette of a bull.

#6: A polka dot purse.

That is what I've come up with. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go dig up some graves to the bury the brain cells #3 has murdered.

Ellen said...

@Scotland:

Hey, man, did you ever really look -- I mean REALLY look at your uterus? Far out.

The ZB said...

I feel like Cake #1 is staring at me, and I really don't appreciate that kind of behavior from a uterus. Also, your "gestate" punchline resulted in me shouting "HA! Perfect!" quite loudly. Now I have a disturbing cake AND an attitude-y cat staring at me. Awesome.

wv - emetin: "Oh, emetin a uterus cake, what are YOU eatin'?"

Veronica Wald said...

"This is ridiculous" looks more like "uterus with ovaries" to me ;-)

amanda said...

I gestated 6 babies ... I'm a cannibal!!!!

Jenn said...

These are sovary bad!

Tad said...

oh. "hook 'em." i squinted and turned my head and pondered for many seconds trying to figure out why the uterus needed to "hork 'em."

wv - tritc: the tritc is to get someone to think you decorate well. if you can't tritc them, you won't sell many ccc's. (patooie!)

ginamomdoc said...

I LOVE these cakes, but I'm an OB/Gyn so I have an excuse...

MCR said...

gestate...you slay me. Thanks for some superb wrecks and even better writing. Love!

Eyesmile said...

You are wrong! They aren't uteri (sp?) but panties! Now put on your big girl panties and deal with it!

Kelly said...

Hahahahahahahaha . . . snort . . . hahahahahah . . . *tears* . . . hahahahaha.

Camichic said...

Camcat
I can only think that perhaps someone's biological clock has alarmed suddenly? Ovary well, perhaps not, but we all gestate and digest that idea. I am still rolling on the floor spraying ice tea nasally. Excellent blog today. Thanks!

GrnEyes said...

A POX UPON THINE FLESH-COLORED BAG!

*ROFL* seriously! DO these people have uterus shaped cake pans or what? (and I'm not exactly a Longhorns fan but that cake is a total disgrace)

Rainyday said...

Bwahahahaha! My 4 year old guesses: "Sock, pot, rainbow, snail, robot, spots."

Belle's Books said...

WOW! That Hook Em' Horns cake takes the uhmmm... cake.

Yeah I went there.

Anonymous said...

Sharon, that actually was a cow head. Hook 'em is the moddo for the Texas Longhorns football team.

Margaret said...

Well, if you tire of making uterus cakes, you could always switch crafts...


http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html

Yes, I knit one of these for my best friend after her hysterectomy. After she stopped laughing, she was much appreciative.

Avis Littlebird said...

The first one looks like it's supposed to be a pashmina. Just saying.

SaraY said...

Gestate... ROTFL!! I'm going to be giggling about that one all night. Love it!! :-)

Kristi said...

I love posts like this where I literally laugh out loud over and over and over again. Thanks, Jen!

Anonymous said...

Methinks we need a "uterus cakes" tag, given how many cakes out there unintentionally (or intentionally) resemble the lady-bits.

Anonymous said...

De-sgusting! Maybe they were driven around in the trunk of a car at 50 mph first.

rnigma said...

So, is the Longhorn cake a U.T.-rus?

Marie said...

I can not imagine what the Uterus on LSD is really supposed to be other than what you wrote. I tried to think of something else that it could be, but uterus, uterus, uterus is all I can see.

Emily said...

Thanks for the perfectly timed laugh! Once again, your post coincidest with what I'm studying in nursing school...and now for something completely different (sigh)...gestational diabetes.

Anonymous said...

"Uterus with sprinkles" - hahahaha!!! best quote ever!

Jenna said...

I just had an idea! Maybe if I buy a uterus cake it will help me get pregnant! LOL.

Mama Wild Bear said...

OMG! I think "Uterus on LSD" actually is a uterus! I see uterus, vagina, ovaries... I think I can even see the cervix. Maybe it's a cake for a obstetrician's conference? 70's disco themed conference?

Monica said...

Wow. I started laughing after reading the comment on the first one and it only got worse (better?) from there. Thanks for putting a smile on my uterus..face! I mean face!

WV: Polatio. Wasn't he the old guy in Hamlet who never stopped talking?

Anonymous said...

"Thanks, but I gestate."

Well, there's our secret password to the bunker for the next Epcot! Now, if we can only agree on a secret handshake nothing will stop us from achieving world domination!!

-Barbara Anne

Beth said...

All good little Texas Longhorns learn during sex ed in school that the uterus with ovaries & fallopian tubes attached resembles our beloved Bevo (the Longhorn's) head. Hook'em!

Jennifer said...

"This one looks like you...with breasts". I am glad that everyone else is seeing uteri (?). I love the LSD one the best. I too wonder what it was supposed to be.

Brilliant entry, as usual King Friday.

wv: laudde: We laudde the humor and puns that are part of Jen's repritore.

snuzzle said...

I *think* the psychedelic uterus is supposed to be a rainbow in the sky, and the yellow cupcakes are pots of gold? I mean, St Patty's day did just happen so it's very likely there's a couple of ugly rainbow cakes that nobody bought still laying around. If that's not it, uh.... I got nothing.

Also, I sent a friend of mine the bare image, no name attached to it or nothing and he said "a vague symbol for the female reproductive system?" Swears he didn't check the site first.

Spike Page said...

Not one single "paTOOEY!"? You are slipping.

Analise said...

oooh silly cupcake cakes, they'll getcha every time.

also, i am reading a novel called perdido street station and it has a lot of steampunk elements in it, which made me think of you. haven't finished it yet, but thus far i recommend it if you like fantasy!

Arlene said...

Does this mean if anyone eats one of those "cakes" they get pregnant? Lol. Scary. Maybe they want to encourage pregnancy by..erm having people eat those horrifying things. That or encourage people to just avoid sex altogether. Evil wreckerators.

Annette said...

The first one......lumpy space princess? Maybe?

abdul said...

this is good........alas u dont have

OrvillesMom said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite Homerisms: "It's uterUS, not uterYOU!"

Baillie said...

The Macra Terror!

http://tinyurl.com/68hqt9t

So many terrifying disguises...But Paradise Pink and heart-shaped SPRINKLES? Will they stop at nothing?

Emily said...

@Sharon - oh, is THAT what it's supposed to be?! Seriously, that one does look like a uterus!

@LillyW - the plural of uterus is uteri.


The "pucker up" one is definitely meant to be lips. So is the sprinkle one (look only at the lines the sprinkles make - it's lips with really long smile-line extensions) - but looks way more like a uterus!! Last one is definitely meant to be a handbag, but I agree with the commenter who said it looks like underwear (I have some that are exactly the reverse - black with pink polka dots!)

The LSD one, probably a butterfly? Or maybe a happy face (:D type) - orange is the eyes, whole inner area is the open happy mouth. That would be a Pokemom or alien or something's happy face, of course... maybe a Na'vi, since it's blue with orange eyes?

The first one - I really don't know either, maybe a beauty queen sash? That'd make more sense without the scepter, but if it was supposed to have to do with Disney's Belle (which is what that word under Princess is - Belle) it should be yellow. It doesn't really look that much like a uterus either, though - the stomach idea is closer, hah!

WV: bundi. "Dese cakes, dey all got a bundi oven."

Anonymous said...

Ahh...this is a horrible game to play when you're already hallucinating!

I'm not all joking. I didn't take anything TO hallucinate. I took two things, under doctor's orders, to help get rid of a medical condition. They are now helping me find two other things because both of these meds, AND walking Pneumonia itself, can all cause hallucinations. Joy joy! My first trip and it wasn't even planned!

(OK Kids, by the way, trips like this aren't worth paying for or worse yet risking your life over. My "visions" today included a feint little circle of light across the room, which scared me cause I thought I might be heading for it, feint pastel shapes that were about a decipherable as these cakes, pink splotches that stayed in my sight wherever I was look, and twirling letters sort of superimposed on a shirt on the floor across the room. And though all but the first were pretty tame I've had panic attacks with this too. If you've ever been to a lazer show...this was nothing like it (lazer show was much cooler...heck, discovery store is much cooler).

(Staying anonymous because well...medical stuff. Have fun with this so long as you don't use my name. It is true, but more than I want to share with anyone who might know me or meet me or spam me. ).

Jiu Jitsu Los Angeles said...

This definitely takes the pretty out of pink. What were these people thinking?

Traci said...

cake 3...how could you not see the uterus as you were decorating!

ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said...

The "uterus with sprinkles" is clearly supposed to be lips. I don't know how the two could ever be mixed up.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you don't have a pun in the oven?

Anonymous said...

General Foods International Coffees Suisse Mocha Cafe spew all over the monitor upon the first instance of "uterus". Ensuing mad laughter wakes neighbor at 6AM.

Love it.

Anna said...

I would totally use the rainbow uterus cake to congratulate a lesbian couple on getting their first child. ;)

Anonymous said...

Uterus with sparkles.... Definitely a wreck but I see a mouth outline. Maybe I just don't get uterus cakes! Haha
A

B. said...

I had a hysterectomy a month ago. Tonight, I'm hurting a lot, just when I thought I was just about healed up. Then I saw this and it made my night so much better. Thank you for the laugh!

In Utero said...

I gotta agree - pure uterus-r-us-.....es....?
Nothing wrong with making an ode/homage to the female reproductive elements - but why in cakey form?
Maybe it should be in the "muffin" form - ccc?

VetCake said...

Actually, that last one could be a bovine (cow) uterus-- the dots look like placentomes.

Sonia said...

my son thinks the first pink thing is a SOCK. could be... and his take on the last thing is apparently a SWEATER to him. he does have an amazing imagination :) thanks for the laughs! these make my own cakes look so incredible in comparison.