Showing posts with label Guess What. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guess What. Show all posts

Monday, August 1, 2011

Cheap Cheat Sheets

Monday, August 1, 2011

Ah, where WOULD we be without those helpful hints from our friendly wreckerators?


"WHAT IN HOLY...oh. It says, 'Meow!'

"So it must be something that can imitate a cat."


Sometimes the hints are fairly subtle:

Pssst. You misspelled "Poopy."



While wiser wreckerators go for slightly more direct labeling:


Finally answering the question, "Can I get a what-what?"



Rainbow!


Um...strawberry!



Diploma?


Now you're just screwing with us.


And finally, my favorite, no doubt written after someone was asked just a few times too many:




Thanks to Sara A., Julia L., Stephanie L., Sadie P., Rose B., Anne B., Elizabeth S., & Erin F., who are all going, "OoooOOooh, NOW I see it!"

Saturday, June 18, 2011

A "Big" Contender

Saturday, June 18, 2011

It appears we have a last-minute entry for Father's Day Pictionary!

"Enjoy."


Admit it, Adam L: you see Cthulhu wearing Mickey Mouse ears in a spider cocoon, too.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Father's Day Pictionary

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Looking for a fun bonding experience with Dad this weekend? Then how about a little cake Pictionary? It's easy! Here, I'll get you started.



Is this:



A) A sofa

B) A ball cap

or

C) Worth $3.99


The answer, of course, is D.

See? Easy!



Ok, your turn.

Is this:



A) An exploding cup of hot chocolate

B) A golf bag

or

C) An appropriate use of an ellipsis


("Aaand the results are in! Happy Father's Day... Bobby! That means Carlos, Jimmy, Leon, Billy, Brad and Tony are NOT the fathers!"


"NO! It ain't true! AAAH LUUUUUV YEEEEEW, JIMMEH!!")



Ahem.

Okay, now here's a tough one. Prepare for multiple multiple choices!


Is this:

A) A chubby bearded pirate with a missing foot sitting on a stack of marshmallows


B) Santa's love handles

C) The Hamburgler, turned inside out


D) Pretty much anything except a grill

or

E) Still more appetizing than this:



Ok, so maybe that wasn't so hard, after all.




Thanks to Sarah J., Amnesty, Kimberly M., & Rachel M. for playing!




ANSWER KEY:

Please tell me in the comments, because I have no friggin' idea.

Thank you.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Artsy Fartsy

Friday, May 20, 2011

[adjusting bow tie] "Welcome, gentle beings, to the grand opening of SplüüRff.

[faint applause]

"All of our works here tonight have been created by world-renowned artists, and are available for sale for far more than you can possibly afford. So, let's begin.

"Our first piece was painted by Japanese artist Noh Wei using traditional oils. Her inspiration was taken from the ocean, mother earth, and the organic nature of the gore splatters in Bikini Slasher Kill Zone 4: Revenge of the Waxers"

"It sells for $490,000.

"Our next piece comes from Swedish craftsman Joques Onyu. Joques spent three years in isolation to focus on this masterpiece, during which time he subsisted solely on prune juice and Ranch flavored Bugles."

"It sells for $893,000.

"The much lauded Yuki Grohs is known for her daring and unconventional techniques. This piece, for example, was constructed using squeeze mayo while the artist was blindfolded and spinning around on a wheelie office chair."

"It sells for $10 million.

"Another avant-garde darling of the art world, the 'Do' Dude uses his trademark combination of gold leaf and 'personal bodily secretions' to both shock and intrigue viewers."

"This mixed-media masterpiece sells for 11.2 million.

"Please feel free to browse the rest of our gallery, where you'll find even more distinguished masterworks, such as:

'Summer Daisies for Janet'
$7.5 million


'Grilled Cheese Electric Chair'
$27.5 million


'The Existential Possibilities of Finding Lucky Charms in June While Wearing Rubber Galoshes and a Fez'
$17.5 million


'Texas'
$6.66 million


"And, of course, our most coveted new piece...

'Coffee Cake with Icing'
$6.00


Thanks to wreckporters Christie R., Aimee W., Alyssa H., Holly L., Laura M., Christy S., Liz C., Anita M., & Stephanie F. for the art attacks.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Guess What!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

It's time to play everyone's favorite game:

What...Is...THIS??


Hm. Well, it says, "Princess," and there's a scepter and a tiara on it.

So I'm going with "uterus."


Uh...

Also "uterus."


"Uterus on LSD."


"Uterus with sprinkles"


"This is getting ridiculous."


And finally, today's bonus round is in the bag:

The magic baby bag.

Awww yeeeeeah.


Hey, Mandi B., Elizabeth A., Vicktoria R., Caitlin & Anthony, Kelly J., & Shayna S., you know how to politely refuse a uterus cake, right? "Thanks, but I gestate."

Monday, September 13, 2010

Bouncing Here And There And EV'rywhere!

Monday, September 13, 2010

"Dashing and daring, courageous and caring,

faithful and friendly with stories to share!

"All through the forest they sing out in chorus,

marching along as their song fills the air!


"Guuummy Beeeears!"


[record screeching to a halt]

*chirp*

*chirp*



Um, thanks, Jordan B.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hey Rab-baht!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Today, we're going to talk about carrots.

Or more specifically, carrot cake. You see, for hundreds of thousands of years, bakers have been trying to hide the taste of carrots - which is most charitably described as "dirt-like"- by mixing it with truckloads of sugar and cream cheese icing. This makes even the most rancid of vegetables - aka, carrots - slightly less disgusting and, of course, extremely healthy.

But how does a baker, who is bound by law to disclose that his cake actually contains putrid dirt veg, tell his customers without making them want to vomit?

Well, there's always lying:

"That's funny; why do these red velvet cupcakes taste like feet?"


Or making it completely illegible:

"Hm. I feel like these orange arrows are trying to tell me something about my Canb cake. But what could it be?!?"


Or the baker can mangle the shape of the aforementioned foul devil vegetable to confuse people:

"I'm detecting notes of chocolate icing and...is that...? Yes...I think it is! Fetid bunny swill. Huh."


Some have tried tweaking the color to muppet blue:

This way instead of imagining carrots - the ingrown hairs of the earth - in your cake, you can imagine synthetic fur - which is of course a vast improvement.


In the end, though, it's always best to just be honest:

Cak Rot?

Sounds about right to me.



Note: Before the carrot cake coalition comes after me, I should mention that I actually love carrot cake. Carrots, however, are evil like the froo-its of the de-vill. Which just goes to show: if you put enough sugar in something, even the most revolting, repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, unpalatable, distasteful, foul, nasty, vomitous vegetable known to man can be super duper yummy.

Special thanks to peachesrevenge, Simon L., Nora B., Lacey J., Natasha T., and my Mac Thesaurus, which never lets me down.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Here's Your Sprinkles

Tuesday, August 24, 2010



Sprinkles:

Doin' it wrong:


"Wow, that's a lot of sprinkles."


Doin' it wronger:

"Wow, that's a lot of...

"Waaait a minute.

"Is that... paper?"




It IS!!

Not cool, man. Not. Cool.


Sorry, Anne-Marie and Katie W.; I guess one of you still can't have any.


Update: If you can't tell, the bottom cake is an edible photocopy of sprinkles. Yupperdoodles.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

What's This?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Earlier today John had the song "What's This?" from Nightmare Before Christmas stuck in his head.

After looking at these Wrecks, now *I* do.


What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere


What's this?
There's white things in the air



What's this?


It's orange and so hairy - what's the deal with those two berries? I don't care!
What's this?


[bumpahbumpahbumpabumpabumpabBUM]


What's this? What's this?
I can't believe my eyes,


What's this?
A donkey tank surprise?

What's this? A swirly mass so curly, could the purple be too girly? Should this song be ending early? No we're going 'til we hurl-y!!

What's this?

Could it be, oh could it be? Did I get my wish?

Here's something that makes sense: a meteorite bird fiiiish!

What's this?

[dumpadumpadumpadumpbaBUM]

[wheeyouwheeyouwheeyouwhee...]

What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong!



What's this? That blue thing's really long.

What's this?

It's positively crappy, and yet I feel so happy, have I possibly gone sappy? I think I need a nappy 'cuz this song is kind of rappy so I guess I'll get a frappey and go shopping at the Gappy...

WHAT.

IS.

THIS?!?



S.K., Patrick T., Chris E., Reagan B., Rebekah W., Austin L., Alex S., Kaylyn M., & Mikaela, your guess is as good as mine.

Oh, and for your continued "enjoyment" I have a special treat today: while we were writing this post, John & #1 (aka "the other Jen") kept singing it to get the cadence right. This...got really entertaining.

So, I decided to tape them.

There were a few interruptions, but overall I think you'll find their rendition...um...well...just don't have the volume up too loud, k?

"Enjoy!"


video

(If you're wondering what my contribution is here, I'm the one doing the scrolling. And giggling.)


Update from john: Please note that no animals were harmed during the making of this video. :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Multiple Choice Wrecks

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The great thing about modern art is that the subject matter is often left open to interpretation. So for these cakey specimens, I figured I'd give you a few options:

a) a hairy alien hand, complete with '33' tattoo
b) minnows attacking a log in a mud puddle
c) a cactus, to show how "cuddly" Mandy is


a) a post-modern pear
b) My 2nd-grade art project
c) an African "beer basket"

a) a diagram of a frog's reproductive system
b) a wishbone jumping rope
c) a T-bone steak

(Ok, that one was too easy; the inscription gave it away.)

a) salt and pepper shakers
b) dumbbells in front of a giant graffiti-ed pickle
c) a skateboard



a) a gladiator sandal with extra arch support
b) Something the under-14 set really shouldn't be looking at
c) a corset? Er, I mean, a corset. Yeah.


Matthias, Anony, Teresa, Angela M., & Sydney W., here's a hint: The answer is always "c".


- Related Wreckage: Dastardly Dad Designs