As we get closer to Valentine's day, the amount of animal puns on pastry increase exponentially. "I love
ewe," "Can't
bear to live without you," etc, etc.
The only problem is,
many bakers don't understand puns. So, I've assembled this handy primer to help them out.
And also so we can laugh at them.
But that goes without saying.*************
Alright, bakers, today we're going to cover the most
basic Valentine's pun there is: "Bee Mine." The trick here is to
write "Bee Mine" and accompany it with a
bee. Got that? Good.
Now you try.
No, no; see, you got the
bees right, but your "be" needs another "e," you see?
Try again.
Good, good, but let's try to get the
bee back in there, ok?
*sigh*
No.
[massaging temples]
No.That's just a dead bee.
What the...? What does that even
mean? NO! Now you're just screwing with me.
Fine. I'll take it.
Thanks to Katie G., Saera D., Megan I., Sarah Beth J., Sarah M., Eleanor S., Courtney A., & Laura A., who think some-bunny made that doggone foxy bee a little too hare-raising.
79 comments | Post a Comment
Oh dear...
'Cuz, you know, nothing says 'love like the word 'mine' and a flying penis. Bonus points for that i can only assume is a yellow pinstriped condom on it.
Nobody knows the difference between be, bee, and bi?
I weep for my country.
I think my favorite is the 'Mee' - why I wish people had 'spellcheck.'
Ok, You've got me laughing out loud again at the office.
The dead bee and Bi (was this intened to hint that the giver wants some bi-sex on Vday?) But the penis bee with the striped condom... OMG I just can't stop laughing.
thank you cw!
I kind of like the last one. He looks like a comma, or at least a comma as it would look if I tried to put one on a cake...
That last one... "Worm mine?" 'Cause honey, that ain't no bee!
Oh, and I love the irony of having the two hears next to each other, one right, one wrong.
"Bi Mine" would make sense as a pun if your switch-hitting sweetie swings both ways, so to speak.
I know that 500 Epcots are going to say this today, but maybe I'll be the first.
... Whoops, no, Sandy C beat me to it before I could hit "Publish Your Comment."
The dead bee made me laugh even before I read the caption. It just looks so... squashed.
WV: trate. Wreckerators' misspellings of cliches are just so trate.
No, no; see,
you got the bee
but your "be" needs an "e,"
you see?
A little quick editing on my part and you've written a lovely poem.
Nothin' says "love" like a flaccid bee...
The last cake brings to mind an old joke-"is that a banana in your pocket....?"
wv: failie - anyone of these cakes could be a fail-ee! LOL.
I sort of like the half-dead, pirate butterflybee--he's jaunty
Trevor,
I looked and looked for two "hears." Thought you meant bears and I missed something.
Mary Connealy<
You may well be the Dr. Seuss of Cake!
oh lordy, don't know where to bee-gin.
A "bee mine" is where bees are dug out of the ground. Most of the best lodes are in countries with poor work-safety regulation, and the miners work in appalling conditions for very low wages. Even these lodes are starting to play out, leading to the current worldwide bee shortage.
Bwahahahahah Bi-mine.... priceless cakes... *slapping head and in my homer simpson voice *doh*
"Banana w/ tumorous growth mine"?!
I don't think that "dead" bee is quite dead yet. He appears to be cursing at whatever whacked him!
I thought that last one was trying to say, "That herpes-infected member wearing a stetson? That's mine!"
It's really a sweet sentiment if you think about it. For a guy to know his gal still loves him and his parts despite his sores and cowboy fetish.
Thank you Cake Wrecks for always making me smile, even when I'm down.
@Gary -- so also to / too / two, except that all three of those are words, where 'bi' is not. Well, not really. Really not going there.
@Caroline -- it's the cakes that need a spellchecker. Of course, then we would just see a lot of cakes with words that have a squiggly red underline.
If one has never seen a live bee (I suppose that could be possible, these days), a flying banana is... still from Mars.
I never knew there were so many forms of 'bee'.
Is slimey dead? He has wings now?
mocking
first I want a large "Bee mine" and underneath that I want sprinkles...
I think that last "bee" look more like the handle of an umbrella, than a bee or a comma, or a you-know-what
or better yet could you write "Bee mine with sprinkles?"
"Bi mine"?
{thinking}
"BI mine"?
{rubbing forehead}
"BI MINE"?
Excuse me while I lay down on my fainting couch with a cold compress and a cocktail to recover.
By "Bi" they were referring to the Korean popstar. It is pronounced the same as "bee" and means "rain". And if you think I'm serious, think again (although the facts are true).
I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".
that winking four legged dead bee freaks me out! and Bi Mine? is that some sort of "swings both ways" reference??
Kiss Mee sounds like someone's begging for a smooch!
that last shocked-looking bee looks like a phallic symbol. "(phallic symbol) mine"--is it a guy advertising his wares? now the white heart dripping down its back is freaking me out. put some legs on that thing, wreckerator! it is NOT looking like a bee...
I thought the last one was a sperm. "Sperm Mine"
That last one makes me want to wish someone a Happy VD Day
Thanks for always making me laugh.
Bought your book and it was delivered today, awesome!
ROFLMAO @ "That's just a dead bee." Thank you for always making me laugh. Out loud. At my desk.
a smirking, winking, spread-eagle bee. ok. *sigh* Yeah, my appetite's dead.
I laughed really, really hard at "That's just a dead bee".
I think I just cracked a rib from holding in my laughter at work.
My favorite is "that's just a dead bee". Haahahahahaahahhaaahahaaha, haaha, haaha. Hahaahhaaha. Haha. ha. Okay I'm done. Hahaha. Heehee. Okay, really. I'm done.
Andrea
Bi Mine absolutely cracked me up--I woke my sleeping child lol
I would like to point out that the dead bee's stinger is...well, let's say delicately placed.
Why am I only reading this blog now! It's brilliant. I especially can't wait for more Valentine's cakes to come up. The cheesiest day of the year has to produce some of the best cakes.
@Joel--Bwa-ha-ha-ha!! I love it!
Kat
wv-lusser. Which is the lusser of two evils: bi-mine or kiss mee?
BI MINE has some meaning to it if you mix languages. In Mongolian 'BI' is I, the first person pronoun. So if you mix Mongolian & English, you have a very self-centered, prideful individual because their cake reads "I, MINE." Don't think they are getting a date for Valentine's Day!
Shocked-looking-overripe-banana-penis-with-fungus mine? What a lovely message.
And the dead bee answers the question Walter Brennan's character keeps asking in To Have and Have Not. Whoever paid for that thing got stung!
Cake 1: Shame, nice icing-manship.
Cake 2: BEE my ValentiNE. Say that with emphasis on the letters in caps. Sounds silly doesn't it? I'd run the other way!
Cake 3: This bee looks like he's laying on a couch trying to look all sexy with his stinger hanging out.
Cake 4: The bee *was* there, it just flew away after getting the pollen from the flowers.
Cake 5: That's just a dead bee. ROTFLMBO! I see Mr. Peanut with a striped shirt and butterfly wings.
Cake 6: Maybe it's for a computer geek? Bi-nary?
Cake 7: It would have been slightly funnier if they were switched - "Kiss Me. Kiss Mee." Kinda like what jo said - they're beggin' for a smooch.
Cake 8: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about the birds & the *bees*!
wv: cemat: When frosting sets out too long and gets hard (not like that!).
I am truly afraid of what the Bi Mine was getting at... not that I'm judging, I just don't swing that way with my pastries
How hard is it too draw a good bee on a cake and write "Bee Mine" on it? I'm not asking for a perfect bee, either. Heck, it can even be squashed like that dead one (I have to point out, that one's a cupcake cake [shudder]!). I just wish people could get it right for once. Sigh... I have forgotten what a GOOD "Bee Mine" cake actually looks like. The dead one is super sad, too, 'cause they didn't even try to write "Bee Mine" on it. They just stuck a little plastic pick on it!
-B
OH that was hilarious, your comments make me giggle so much :)
That dead bee is creepy. Bi? That just makes me laugh. As for the last one that is the strangest looking bee I've ever seen since it looks more like a flying penis or maybe a flying worm.
Maybe the Bi one has something to do with getting a threesome as a Valentine's gift.
the ones with no bee are spelled with bee, and the ones with a bee are spelled be, why? LOL!
Okay, this is my favorite post of the week. The commentary is spot on. Well done, Wreckwranglers, well done.
Oh, man. I have the PERFECT picture for this, and I CAN'T FIND IT. It's a cookie at Target, and it's iced to read "BE MNE".
Alone - they are just enough to crack a smile... Put together with your comments and I'm rolling on the floor by the end.
I cannot tell you how important this laugh was for me today. Thank you from the bottom of my stressed out heart!!!
ROFL at all of them... Now I've got the Monty Python song, "Eric The Half-A-Bee" stuck in my head!!
Dead bee ftw. Thank you.
Is it just me or does the one lableed "dead bee" actually look a little constipated? Just sayin...
I love the Bi-mine. Covers all the bases, doesn't it?
I think the Bi-Mine covers all the bases. As far as that last picture - that ain't no bee, that's a banana fo sho
That bee isn't dead, it's just bipolar. See how one side of its face is angry, and the other side is happy?
Or maybe it's having a stroke.
"that's just a dead bee"
I need to not read this at the END of the day when I'm already tired and it becomes that much harder not to giggle out loud at work :P
But that last BEE could fit in someother category, like animals that look like body parts?
-Kim
"Bi Mine" could be the work of someone who speaks Spanish. Still makes no sense, but depending on where you are, it's possible.
TXRed
wv: Chiat. What a boss from the Deep South will have with the person who cannot spell "me."
the cake that seems to read as "flying dildo mine" scares me a bit....... at first i thought it looked more like a penis but on further thought it can only be a flying dildo.......
I've figured out Bi Mine... the wreckorator was simply trying to help non-English speakers pronounce "Be" correctly. Small [i] is the IPA symbol for the sound "eee"! Wait if that's what they're doing then the cake should be prounced "Beee Meeen"... hmm maybe a spurned lover?
And none of them were named Eric the Half a Bee?
Isn't there some part of the English language where Bi would be pronounced Bee? Like... Do, re, MI?? (so... why is that pronounced Me?)
Anyway, that's the way I read it, thinking that someone really didn't know how to spell and was relying on the Sound of Music for inspiration.
(we can come up with excuses for all kinds of things)
Love the dead bee. The Dread dead pirate bee.
Thanks for the laughs!!
~~Di
That last 'bee' reminds me of the plastic banana we used during sex ed in high school (to practice putting condoms on, yes we really had to do that). Just a little more yellow...
OMG this post almost killed me! Halfway through I started laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
Now this blog is very CLEVER! Looks like 1 gets a decent amount of traffic! LOL! why oh why 1 has to resort to selling cat timer feed trays to pay the bills! God only knows!
I would like to see a cake in the shape of the dumb little man! LOL! Now if every1 could get together, and bring all their ideas to the table! LOL! That would be both fortunate and blessed!
Remember. You can never win with a very Mentally Ill Adult!
:0p
Not only is that one bee dea, he looks beat to hell :( the rest of the cakes XD
LMAO- in the 1st pic I thought the one in the top left was a striped banana!! AND I already knew I was to be looking for a bee!!!!
@Joel Polowin: FTW!!! (bows to the master)
-Barbara Anne
oh solo bi-oh
bee min today
Mee frosted cookies
And cupcakes gay
Oh, Epcot
You Kiss(i)mee, please
The wv's: Flawi
As in harts and flawi's
and be's
I am waiting to see if they do the happy v-d cakes this year. I am sure someone will since a recent ad for the tv show the Vampire Diaries told everyone to catch VD lmao. Now I await the evil cake wrecks to go with the ad.
MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY ! LOL! DOWN WITH THE NITRO! LOL!
I'm surprised no-one has noticed that the dead bee has a heart shaped sprinkle right where he might have a, uh, a bee-hole I guess you could call it ... Carrying the Valentine theme just a tad too far IMO ;-)
WV: devinci- the wreckerators here are no devinci, or maybe, considering the misspelling, they are :-)
That is hilarious.. my first thought was 'happy banana sperm'. That dead bee had me laughing too!
ladycrim said...
I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".
It doesn't seem you would have to mine banana slugs. There are plenty of them on the surface.
oooh! this brought tears to my eyes!
It's a BeeNana!!!
I showed my daughter and she said, "Beenana!".
*snort*
"That's just a dead bee"
I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING.
Ohh my gosh, I just realized the 'flying penis' bee is a pic I took. Thank you Jen!! You made my day.
Okay...glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the last one looks like a flying phallic wearing a condom!
Thank you for the many "laughs".
(joking with the "quotes" of course.)