Thursday, February 10, 2011

To Bee Or Not To Bee

Thursday, February 10, 2011

As we get closer to Valentine's day, the amount of animal puns on pastry increase exponentially. "I love ewe," "Can't bear to live without you," etc, etc.

The only problem is, many bakers don't understand puns. So, I've assembled this handy primer to help them out.

And also so we can laugh at them.

But that goes without saying.

*************

Alright, bakers, today we're going to cover the most basic Valentine's pun there is: "Bee Mine." The trick here is to write "Bee Mine" and accompany it with a bee. Got that? Good.

Now you try.

No, no; see, you got the bees right, but your "be" needs another "e," you see?

Try again.

Good, good, but let's try to get the bee back in there, ok?


*sigh*
No.

[massaging temples]
No.


That's just a dead bee.

What the...? What does that even mean? NO!

Now you're just screwing with me.


Fine. I'll take it.


Thanks to Katie G., Saera D., Megan I., Sarah Beth J., Sarah M., Eleanor S., Courtney A., & Laura A., who think some-bunny made that doggone foxy bee a little too hare-raising.
dest/jess(ie)/etc. said...

Oh dear...

'Cuz, you know, nothing says 'love like the word 'mine' and a flying penis. Bonus points for that i can only assume is a yellow pinstriped condom on it.

Gary said...

Nobody knows the difference between be, bee, and bi?
I weep for my country.

Caroline said...

I think my favorite is the 'Mee' - why I wish people had 'spellcheck.'

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

Ok, You've got me laughing out loud again at the office.

The dead bee and Bi (was this intened to hint that the giver wants some bi-sex on Vday?) But the penis bee with the striped condom... OMG I just can't stop laughing.

thank you cw!

J. said...

I kind of like the last one. He looks like a comma, or at least a comma as it would look if I tried to put one on a cake...

Trevor said...

That last one... "Worm mine?" 'Cause honey, that ain't no bee!

Oh, and I love the irony of having the two hears next to each other, one right, one wrong.

Gary said...

"Bi Mine" would make sense as a pun if your switch-hitting sweetie swings both ways, so to speak.

I know that 500 Epcots are going to say this today, but maybe I'll be the first.


... Whoops, no, Sandy C beat me to it before I could hit "Publish Your Comment."

elissa said...

The dead bee made me laugh even before I read the caption. It just looks so... squashed.

WV: trate. Wreckerators' misspellings of cliches are just so trate.

Mary Connealy said...

No, no; see,

you got the bee

but your "be" needs an "e,"

you see?


A little quick editing on my part and you've written a lovely poem.

bluewhite said...

Nothin' says "love" like a flaccid bee...

debbo said...

The last cake brings to mind an old joke-"is that a banana in your pocket....?"
wv: failie - anyone of these cakes could be a fail-ee! LOL.

Jennaline said...

I sort of like the half-dead, pirate butterflybee--he's jaunty

Trevor,
I looked and looked for two "hears." Thought you meant bears and I missed something.

Mary Connealy<
You may well be the Dr. Seuss of Cake!

stella said...

oh lordy, don't know where to bee-gin.

Joel Polowin said...

A "bee mine" is where bees are dug out of the ground. Most of the best lodes are in countries with poor work-safety regulation, and the miners work in appalling conditions for very low wages. Even these lodes are starting to play out, leading to the current worldwide bee shortage.

Sydney said...

penis bees....my favorite kind

No Cake Fo You! said...

Bwahahahahah Bi-mine.... priceless cakes... *slapping head and in my homer simpson voice *doh*

Anonymous said...

"Banana w/ tumorous growth mine"?!

Momcat said...

I don't think that "dead" bee is quite dead yet. He appears to be cursing at whatever whacked him!

Susanna K. said...

I thought that last one was trying to say, "That herpes-infected member wearing a stetson? That's mine!"

It's really a sweet sentiment if you think about it. For a guy to know his gal still loves him and his parts despite his sores and cowboy fetish.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Cake Wrecks for always making me smile, even when I'm down.

Craig said...

@Gary -- so also to / too / two, except that all three of those are words, where 'bi' is not. Well, not really. Really not going there.

@Caroline -- it's the cakes that need a spellchecker. Of course, then we would just see a lot of cakes with words that have a squiggly red underline.

If one has never seen a live bee (I suppose that could be possible, these days), a flying banana is... still from Mars.

I never knew there were so many forms of 'bee'.

Anonymous said...

Is slimey dead? He has wings now?

mocking

VeggieT said...

first I want a large "Bee mine" and underneath that I want sprinkles...


I think that last "bee" look more like the handle of an umbrella, than a bee or a comma, or a you-know-what

VeggieT said...

or better yet could you write "Bee mine with sprinkles?"

Amy said...

"Bi mine"?

{thinking}

"BI mine"?

{rubbing forehead}

"BI MINE"?

Excuse me while I lay down on my fainting couch with a cold compress and a cocktail to recover.

drumnate said...

By "Bi" they were referring to the Korean popstar. It is pronounced the same as "bee" and means "rain". And if you think I'm serious, think again (although the facts are true).

ladycrim said...

I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".

jo said...

that winking four legged dead bee freaks me out! and Bi Mine? is that some sort of "swings both ways" reference??

Kiss Mee sounds like someone's begging for a smooch!

that last shocked-looking bee looks like a phallic symbol. "(phallic symbol) mine"--is it a guy advertising his wares? now the white heart dripping down its back is freaking me out. put some legs on that thing, wreckerator! it is NOT looking like a bee...

Travlnbard said...

I thought the last one was a sperm. "Sperm Mine"

Anonymous said...

That last one makes me want to wish someone a Happy VD Day

Jennifer said...

Thanks for always making me laugh.

Bought your book and it was delivered today, awesome!

Kelly said...

ROFLMAO @ "That's just a dead bee." Thank you for always making me laugh. Out loud. At my desk.

msyendor said...

a smirking, winking, spread-eagle bee. ok. *sigh* Yeah, my appetite's dead.

Anonymous said...

I laughed really, really hard at "That's just a dead bee".

Anonymous said...

I think I just cracked a rib from holding in my laughter at work.

My favorite is "that's just a dead bee". Haahahahahaahahhaaahahaaha, haaha, haaha. Hahaahhaaha. Haha. ha. Okay I'm done. Hahaha. Heehee. Okay, really. I'm done.

Andrea

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Bi Mine absolutely cracked me up--I woke my sleeping child lol

Adele said...

I would like to point out that the dead bee's stinger is...well, let's say delicately placed.

CGambee said...

Why am I only reading this blog now! It's brilliant. I especially can't wait for more Valentine's cakes to come up. The cheesiest day of the year has to produce some of the best cakes.

Anonymous said...

@Joel--Bwa-ha-ha-ha!! I love it!

Kat

wv-lusser. Which is the lusser of two evils: bi-mine or kiss mee?

Matthew said...

BI MINE has some meaning to it if you mix languages. In Mongolian 'BI' is I, the first person pronoun. So if you mix Mongolian & English, you have a very self-centered, prideful individual because their cake reads "I, MINE." Don't think they are getting a date for Valentine's Day!

Ellen said...

Shocked-looking-overripe-banana-penis-with-fungus mine? What a lovely message.

And the dead bee answers the question Walter Brennan's character keeps asking in To Have and Have Not. Whoever paid for that thing got stung!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Cake 1: Shame, nice icing-manship.

Cake 2: BEE my ValentiNE. Say that with emphasis on the letters in caps. Sounds silly doesn't it? I'd run the other way!

Cake 3: This bee looks like he's laying on a couch trying to look all sexy with his stinger hanging out.

Cake 4: The bee *was* there, it just flew away after getting the pollen from the flowers.

Cake 5: That's just a dead bee. ROTFLMBO! I see Mr. Peanut with a striped shirt and butterfly wings.

Cake 6: Maybe it's for a computer geek? Bi-nary?

Cake 7: It would have been slightly funnier if they were switched - "Kiss Me. Kiss Mee." Kinda like what jo said - they're beggin' for a smooch.

Cake 8: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Talk about the birds & the *bees*!

wv: cemat: When frosting sets out too long and gets hard (not like that!).

Tonya said...

I am truly afraid of what the Bi Mine was getting at... not that I'm judging, I just don't swing that way with my pastries

Anonymous said...

How hard is it too draw a good bee on a cake and write "Bee Mine" on it? I'm not asking for a perfect bee, either. Heck, it can even be squashed like that dead one (I have to point out, that one's a cupcake cake [shudder]!). I just wish people could get it right for once. Sigh... I have forgotten what a GOOD "Bee Mine" cake actually looks like. The dead one is super sad, too, 'cause they didn't even try to write "Bee Mine" on it. They just stuck a little plastic pick on it!
-B

Rebecca said...

"Flying Penis Mine"? I don't get it :)
Damn, I am laughing at loud at my desk (again!)

Linda V @ Bubble and Sweet said...

OH that was hilarious, your comments make me giggle so much :)

Barbara said...

That dead bee is creepy. Bi? That just makes me laugh. As for the last one that is the strangest looking bee I've ever seen since it looks more like a flying penis or maybe a flying worm.

Maybe the Bi one has something to do with getting a threesome as a Valentine's gift.

Mark Thuesen said...

the ones with no bee are spelled with bee, and the ones with a bee are spelled be, why? LOL!

SoupAddict Karen said...

Okay, this is my favorite post of the week. The commentary is spot on. Well done, Wreckwranglers, well done.

jenthegreat said...

Oh, man. I have the PERFECT picture for this, and I CAN'T FIND IT. It's a cookie at Target, and it's iced to read "BE MNE".

McBDesigns said...

Alone - they are just enough to crack a smile... Put together with your comments and I'm rolling on the floor by the end.

I cannot tell you how important this laugh was for me today. Thank you from the bottom of my stressed out heart!!!

ardlamont said...

ROFL at all of them... Now I've got the Monty Python song, "Eric The Half-A-Bee" stuck in my head!!

Kimberly Chapman said...

Dead bee ftw. Thank you.

Connie said...

Is it just me or does the one lableed "dead bee" actually look a little constipated? Just sayin...

Pauline said...

I love the Bi-mine. Covers all the bases, doesn't it?

Pauline said...

I think the Bi-Mine covers all the bases. As far as that last picture - that ain't no bee, that's a banana fo sho

john said...

That bee isn't dead, it's just bipolar. See how one side of its face is angry, and the other side is happy?

Or maybe it's having a stroke.

LaurenH said...

"that's just a dead bee"

I need to not read this at the END of the day when I'm already tired and it becomes that much harder not to giggle out loud at work :P

Kim said...

But that last BEE could fit in someother category, like animals that look like body parts?

-Kim

Anonymous said...

"Bi Mine" could be the work of someone who speaks Spanish. Still makes no sense, but depending on where you are, it's possible.
TXRed

wv: Chiat. What a boss from the Deep South will have with the person who cannot spell "me."

Terrs said...

the cake that seems to read as "flying dildo mine" scares me a bit....... at first i thought it looked more like a penis but on further thought it can only be a flying dildo.......

Kate said...

I've figured out Bi Mine... the wreckorator was simply trying to help non-English speakers pronounce "Be" correctly. Small [i] is the IPA symbol for the sound "eee"! Wait if that's what they're doing then the cake should be prounced "Beee Meeen"... hmm maybe a spurned lover?

Julie said...

And none of them were named Eric the Half a Bee?

mladybright said...

Isn't there some part of the English language where Bi would be pronounced Bee? Like... Do, re, MI?? (so... why is that pronounced Me?)

Anyway, that's the way I read it, thinking that someone really didn't know how to spell and was relying on the Sound of Music for inspiration.

(we can come up with excuses for all kinds of things)

Love the dead bee. The Dread dead pirate bee.

Thanks for the laughs!!
~~Di

Dale said...

That last 'bee' reminds me of the plastic banana we used during sex ed in high school (to practice putting condoms on, yes we really had to do that). Just a little more yellow...

Jill at Liv'nGood Jewelry said...

OMG this post almost killed me! Halfway through I started laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

Anonymous said...

Now this blog is very CLEVER! Looks like 1 gets a decent amount of traffic! LOL! why oh why 1 has to resort to selling cat timer feed trays to pay the bills! God only knows!

I would like to see a cake in the shape of the dumb little man! LOL! Now if every1 could get together, and bring all their ideas to the table! LOL! That would be both fortunate and blessed!

Remember. You can never win with a very Mentally Ill Adult!

:0p

Anonymous said...

Not only is that one bee dea, he looks beat to hell :( the rest of the cakes XD

Anonymous said...

LMAO- in the 1st pic I thought the one in the top left was a striped banana!! AND I already knew I was to be looking for a bee!!!!

@Joel Polowin: FTW!!! (bows to the master)

-Barbara Anne

chaitea said...

oh solo bi-oh
bee min today
Mee frosted cookies
And cupcakes gay

Oh, Epcot
You Kiss(i)mee, please

The wv's: Flawi
As in harts and flawi's
and be's

Arlene said...

I am waiting to see if they do the happy v-d cakes this year. I am sure someone will since a recent ad for the tv show the Vampire Diaries told everyone to catch VD lmao. Now I await the evil cake wrecks to go with the ad.

Anonymous said...

MOLECULAR GASTRONOMY ! LOL! DOWN WITH THE NITRO! LOL!

colleenoz said...

I'm surprised no-one has noticed that the dead bee has a heart shaped sprinkle right where he might have a, uh, a bee-hole I guess you could call it ... Carrying the Valentine theme just a tad too far IMO ;-)
WV: devinci- the wreckerators here are no devinci, or maybe, considering the misspelling, they are :-)

Gianna said...

That is hilarious.. my first thought was 'happy banana sperm'. That dead bee had me laughing too!

Gary said...

ladycrim said...
I'm pretty sure that last one actually says "Banana slug mine".

It doesn't seem you would have to mine banana slugs. There are plenty of them on the surface.

siegretc said...

oooh! this brought tears to my eyes!

Bridget Delaney said...

It's a BeeNana!!!

Gianna said...

I showed my daughter and she said, "Beenana!".

Amanda said...

*snort*
"That's just a dead bee"

I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING.

Laura said...

Ohh my gosh, I just realized the 'flying penis' bee is a pic I took. Thank you Jen!! You made my day.

Bhakti said...

Okay...glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks the last one looks like a flying phallic wearing a condom!

Thank you for the many "laughs".

(joking with the "quotes" of course.)