Wow. Talk about a throwback to the past!
Seriously, who even drinks tea in the U.S. anymore?
Not to mention this sounds awfully refined for gang members:
"Relent, ye cad, or next I shall hurl 'yon chafing dish!"
"Arizona Fugitive Planned Suicide By Bear"
Oh, please. What's he gonna do, snuggle me to death?
Ahaha... ha... ha... oh crap
Fortunately, the man abandoned his plan when he heard voices telling him bears prefer their humans free-range. (Oh, SNAP!)
"China Braces For Rampant Sexytime in Year of the Rabbit"
Step 1: Cut a hole in the egg.
"Hey, baby, you lookin' fiiine! Watchoo skiing so fast for, huh? Slow down, girl!"
"Enraged Customer Assaults Store Employee Over Lack of Sprinkles"
As a precaution for the future, area bakeries have since introduced the following design:
In related news, most area bakers are now completely out of sprinkles.