Monday, February 7, 2011

The Cake Cannibals

Monday, February 7, 2011

Once upon a time, a baker decided to ice a giant baby butt on a cake.

And so she did.

The rest of the bakers gathered round to congratulate her, and before long they'd all agreed: baby butts were surprisingly appetizing. Reeling from this rear realization, the bakers went on to change the face of baby shower cakes forever.


By turning it into a baby butt.

The cake butt phenomenon took off like projectile vomit from a colicky infant. It was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Otherwise rational women dreamed of eating chocolate-filled diapers. Grandmothers sliced up legs with abandon. Little children screamed in glee at the sight of adorably draped half bodies served up on platters. ("Aw, look, she's sobbing with glee!")

After a while, the original bakers got together again to munch on fondant toes and discuss their next "big thing." The vote was unanimous: they needed much larger bodies of work.

Literally.

"If eating baby butt is sweet, then eating mom boobs will be AMAZING," the bakers exclaimed.

And so, they did.


Just about everyone loved the mom boob & belly combo, but there were a few complaints from the moms-to-be. Not that their cake effigies were being eaten, of course, but that their cake effigies weren't sexy enough.

Quickly the bakers arrived at a solution: the cantaloupes would be made much larger than the watermelon ("if you catch our drift"), and mom's cakey doppelgänger would be dressed in only the raciest of lingerie, the better to emphasize how she ended up in her present glowing condition.

And so it was.

And, once again, everyone was happy.

At this point the bakers fell into a deep depression. "We've done it all!" they moaned. "What more can we possibly achieve now that women are eating both baby butts *and* mom torsos?"

Which is when they realized: the only thing better than eating a mom torso or baby toes was eating them both together.

Quickly a new decree went out: push that lingerie aside! It's time to show off the baby inside the belly. And then EAT THEM BOTH. Haha!

Remember to keep that melon ratio, though.

At last, the bakers felt they had arrived at the pinnacle of baby shower cakedom. They would continue to fine-tune, of course: a cherry filling here, a plastic baby fished out with tongs there - but overall, their cannibalistic urges were sated. And all was well.


Until they discovered gelatin.




[ear-splitting scream]

[of glee]


Thanks to Jessica M., Candace G., Jessica T., Germaine, Jessica G., Sarah M., Taylor F., & Ruth T., who think that's one heckuva womb with a view.
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Anonymous said...

I will need electroshock therapy to keep the image of that last cake out of my nightmares.

ev said...

Ok that last one was just gross.

Morgan said...

That final one is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen. It will forever be burned into my brain. What a way to start my day .... shiver .... Thanks, I think. :)

Tricia L said...

Oh, dear Lord!

Trish said...

That is officially the first time Cake Wrecks made me literally throw up a little in my mouth. Seriously, and I've read every post. That last one needed a warning or censorship or something, whew.

I am so glad I have made the decision to never have a child... I don't want to know what causes people to think these are a good idea!

Anonymous said...

Does that one cake say "Farewell?" That's creepier to me than all the butts and boobs combined...

Sara said...

The last one is just so wrong. I shall be seeing it again in my nightmares tonight.

Karen Valinda said...

OH NO! Seriously the first words out of my mouth as I saw the last cake. You were illustrating your point perfectly, (the bad to worse progression of shower cakes) but I did NOT realize where you were taking me until it was too late! Amazing, (horribly, well done, terribly)amazing!

Anonymous said...

OK, I thought I was beyond being offended by a cake, no matter how disgusting. Life size cake of the bride? Whatever. Edible baby cake? Sure.

But clear jello with a baby inside? That's disgusting.

Spudbeach

Dave and Natalie said...

an unborn carrot jockey!! sweet!!! or puke!! not sure which!

Kim A. said...

OMG!! I actually shuddered when I saw that last cake. Why would someone do that?

anadandy said...

I thought the hacked up leg of cake #4 was going to be the pinnacle of my horror...and then I saw that last cake. What the j-frog are people thinking??

Kate said...

oh gross, that last one doesn't even count as cake, or food. also, where are all the cakes with the baby pushing out of the pregnant mother? those are such the classic baby shower wrecks.

Lauren said...

How, how, how can people be this tacky? It boggles the mind.

Baby shower cakes are the stuff of nightmares.

Stephanie said...

Wow... just when I thought I'd seen it all (though I really should know better than to say that on here)...
Those cakes are all very wrong but that last one is every possible kind of wrong you could think of. *shudders*

Anonymous said...

I am 27 weeks pregnant and I can’t stop laughing! This is so disturbing yet I find myself hoping that one of the 3 baby showers I have coming up next month will produce a cakewrecks.com worthy cake! Is that wrong of me?

Kelly K said...

It's a good thing I haven't eaten breakfast yet or I'd be throwing up!!

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL!! That's HORRIFYING!! There should be a movie made where that is the last scene! WHY? Dear God! WHY!??!!

Denise said...

While it is disturbing to eat a pregnant lady torso regardless of clothes and little foot prints from the inside they combo ones are atleast well done and pretty.
The gelatin abomination makes you wonder whos more at fault for the creepy factor the wreckerator or the person that ordered it!

Louise said...

Wrong, wrong, very very wrong!

Tiffany said...

I had a feeling there was going to be a finale of some sort, but wow. I'm sitting here with my mouth hanging up, trying to think of a response to that last cake. But there are no words!

manybellsdown said...

I thought the pink and brown one would have been pretty cute if not for the subject matter.

The last one made me gasp out loud.

scrapopotamos said...

I need BLEACH for my eyes! AGH! THat was just awful! I thought this was a family site!

Now I need to forward it to everyone I know so we can discuss...

Sharyn in Superior said...

I'm finding it much harder to type since that last cake made me gouge out my eyes. Sadly, I can still see it in my head. Now what? Exorcist or lobotomist?

Anonymous said...

As the baker of the "Sexy Suds" cake(you know...plastic baby...tongs...), I have to say that even I am grossed out by most of those....but the baby on gelatine is just vile. Vile I tell you!

jo said...

ROFLMAO "Womb with a view!" That killed me! That gelatin cake is CREE-PY! What is the baby in the window aquarium made of? so happy and pale! *shudder* nightmarish!

Meanwhile, I love the story today, and the progression of the obsession....

the chocolate butt looks like shiny poop, #2 is very cottage cheesey. looks like a loaded diaper...and legs...so morbid! and sexy mama cake #1 is terrifying, especially with half the leg already eaten. YAH!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Oh. My. Those others make that first baby-butt cake cute! Aaaaaaahhhhhh! [with glee]

What happened to the baby? Is that blood on the head? Is it dead like the frogs & brains kept in jars?

And why does the one cake say "Farewell"? All I have running thru my mind is Bugs Bunny saying "Bon voy-ah-gee, farewell to thee, goodbye, don't forget to write, well I'll be seein' ya". Of course I think the wreckerators have a different trip in mind. Eww.

wv: jughtio: The ratio of jug size to pregnant belly size.

Sif said...

My three year old actually screamed when she saw the last cake. For a bit of context, this is the child who thinks the Rancor is 'awesome.'

Amanda said...

Oh dear Lord, save us from the gelatin!

Stella said...

Is that JELLO? I can't stop looking or laughing. What a great way to start a Monday.

Jenny H. said...

That last one with the gelatin has traumatized me. I'll never be able to eat cake OR jello ever again. I'm afraid that there will be an alien baby inside. Oh, and thanks for making me snort Dr. Pepper out my nose. It smells rather nice, actually.

Anonymous said...

Wow way to bring my brain fully back from my vacation last week. #4 was bad enough (is that pink filling?), but that last one...EEEEEKKK!

UtahMillers said...

I need a brain eraser for the last one! EEEEWWWWW!!

Sarah McNair said...

Rarely does this site make me gag out loud. Today it happened twice. That gelatin picture was beyond wrong.

Amanda Mac said...

For the record, I just did my OB clinical rounds and watched two births... but to this point, I've never seen a transparent womb. (I really thought I was going to see a cake of a birth, and I was prepared to be grossed out far more than seeing it in person.)

Oh, and that first baby should see a doctor. Looks like he has some serious hip dysplasia.


WV: podiper. Exactly what some of these wreckerators were going for.

Kimberly Chapman said...

That's abuse of gelatin, that is!

Anonymous said...

farewell baby Nok? maybe farewell is for the mom, who will be leaving her job to care for the baby? and then they stuck the baby's name on there too? Who names a baby Nok?

Valerie said...

I am going to be sick.

Dani said...

Ya know it's to bad I like my two pregnant sisters in law or I would order one of these just to horrify them.

lynn said...

OMG!!!! (A horrified one). I'm so glad this kind of thing hasn't caught on in Britain ......... yet.

Kathleen Taylor said...

This is the first time that I actually gasped when I saw a cake. Then I laughed, but I gasped first. Yikes!

Stoich91 said...

*taking deep breaths*

*of...'glee'*

Kiara said...

Is it just me, or does that 4th photo kind of look like sort of abortion cake? It's saying FAREWELL to the baby. Even if they're talking about the baby leaving the womb, that doesn't really constitute a 'farewell', does it? Oh, maybe they're putting it up for adoption!
Either way, abortions and adoptions don't really seem like cake-serving occasions.

Angela said...

I too would like to know what the backstory is on the "Farewell baby..." cake. And am with anon who is trying to figure out which is more disturbing, the cake or its writing.

Jennifer said...

These may actually put me off cake for a while. Which, I guess, is a boon for my diet. Ugh.

Erin said...

the last one almost made me sick...Jen, i think you need to add that whole "do not read while eating or you may find your appetite wander and/or hurl" warning at the top of this one. eeeeew.

Melissa said...

I will never close my eyes again... every time I do... I see the floating baby gelatin cake... ::shiver::

Three Turtles and Their Pet Librarian said...

omg...omg...omg...you need to WARN us pregnant ladies! I mean, the first few were funny, not anything we haven't laughed at before, but...the gelatin!!! To the lady doing my shower who I know reads this blog, NOOOOOOO!!!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

There's always room for Jell-O!

O.o

Sarah said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Someone help, I've just poked my own eyes out!

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Oh my gosh, that's horrible! Why, why, WHHHYYYYY????

Flaky Friends said...

I've been a stalker for years, but this is the first time I'm commenting - such a horror of nature I've never seen before. This is officially the most wreckiest cake you've ever scouted out for us. I salute you for your courage and determination to truly expose the wreckinators.

Elizabeth said...

Glad to see that more people than just me were horrified by the last cake...Bakers of the world: Unite and stop this madness!

Lauren Scheuer said...

Okay. This one wins as my mostest favoritest post of freakiness! Thank you thank you for the laughs and the cries of disgust!
Lauren

Queen of Chaos said...

I want to know, not only why that one cake has "farewell" on it, but also who got the crotch piece... at least most of these pregnant belly cakes tend to stop above that point!

As for the last cake... glee is not quite my reaction! It looks more appropriate for a screening of "Alien" than for a baby shower!

Alice said...

that last one made me throw up in my mouth. that's disgusting!

Katie said...

Oh gods...do not look at Cake Wrecks when suffering from MORNING SICKNESS!

How about a warning next time!

Debbie In Mich. said...

I think I'd rather see a baby cominging out of the Mom's "private parts" cake than that last one. What a thing to see as my daughter is currently 26 weeks preggo with my first grandbaby. Nightmares for everyone tonight!!!

Anonymous said...

Aaaaack! Unbelievable!!!

mladybright said...

I really wasn't expecting ... to see the combo cakes as little feet imprinting the side of the belly (considering the last 'combo' mom and baby cakes on CW).

Though, I have to say, I rather liked them, well done. (can't believe I just said that)

Then.. you have to go and give us gelatin... and restore my faithful belief that CW exists to curb my appetite by generally avoiding eating altogether!

That was disgusting, and just what was the mess around the base of the gelatin? Never mind - I don't want to know.

Yugghhh.. shiver of monumental proportions.

~~Di

Jayde said...

That last one is the most disgusting thing that I have ever seen. I would be horrified to have that served at my baby shower.

Anonymous said...

You people say this is the worst post on cakewrecks ever. Did you miss the meat loaf baby?

The last cake was the second worst though.

Tanya said...

The only thing allowing me to hang onto a shred of sanity is knowing I am not the only one that has seen that last cake. I have no words to express the trauma that caused me. Thank you :)

Gary said...

I thought I was ready for today's presentation, having seen previous posts of baby butt cakes, fetus feet cakes, pregnant belly cakes, and more.
But no.
I can never unsee that last cake. It will be there, every time I close my eyes, for the rest of my life.

Thanks, Cake Wrecks.


Farewell, Baby Nok, indeed.

Amy said...

I'm so utterly horrified by the last cake, words have failed me. The only words I can croak out as I huddle under my desk, rocking back and forth while hitting my forehead on the wall is "Why . . . why . . . why . . . why . . . why . . ."

Anonymous said...

*Gak*

Well, I was going to make myself some of the coconut jello-custard you can find at a good Dim Sum restaurant, that is, until I saw jello-baby.

Daisy said...

Believe it or not, the last cake could've gotten much worse, if the decorator had gone for 'realistic' rather than 'cutesy'....

Donna said...

Dear God, what is with that last cake???? Seriously...

On a lighter note, the next to last cake must be "cold." Nice nips. Someone had some humor going on. LOL

Anonymous said...

To all bakers everywhere:

Vivisection is not a valid cake topic.

Ever.

WV: ailtu. Looking at that last cake will make you ailtu.

kmawesome said...

gelatin baby looked like a carrotless naked jockey, that is so disgusting...clear gelatin really looks like something grown in a petri dish ar least strawberry would be more realistic....can;t call it jell-o cause there's always room for jell-o but not like that.
and for those of you who may need to erase that image from your mind i recommend a unicorn chaser (http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/unicorn-chaser.html)

Mary said...

That last one is just...just...I have no words...wow, I'm actually speechless. O_o

Mamakitty1978 said...

I know I am in complete agreement with everyone else, that last cake was the stuff of sweat inducing nightmares! I am still shivering in shock after the mere picture of it, imagine the trauma of the poor guests who were at the party where that horror was revealed in person!!!!

Debbie In Mich. said...

Sorry I didn't mention it in my prior post but would that baby be smiling if he could see how lopsided Mom's "assets" are?

Anonymous said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{vomit}

(On another note, the writing was great. What a way to present the cakes. So good.)

Julie B said...

Other posts have warnings of their grossness and never bother me. This one slid under the radar and has greatly disturbed me. LOL =) I love this blog

Marisa said...

I seriously almost puked when I saw the last one. :S

The Alphabet Gang said...

Omiflyingsockmonkeys, I LITERALLY jumped backwards when I saw that last one!

EWW, ICK, YUCK and GROSS ME OUT, DUDE! XP

Carmen, the Un-Stalker

WV: "brilas" Even using brilas pads to scrub my eyeballs wouldn't erase the image that has been burned onto them. *hurk*

Jessica said...

that last cake is terrifying! seriously

Fluffy Cow said...

I can't unsee the last one!!!!!

*whimper*

Marissa and Aidan said...

gelatin? ... OH! Oh for the love of butter cream what have you done!?

wv: bionabl- I will bionabl to get that image out of my head.

Anonymous said...

I am speechless at the last cake.

Alsgal aka Kristy said...

I am less than 2 weeks from having a baby, and that gelatin baby cake is going to give me nightmares until this baby is out.
What is wrong with people. I told the girls who were throwing my shower, not baby belly or Baby butt cakes....they creep me out!

Let Them Eat Cake said...

Obviously you decided today's post would be "to the pain"..."oh, dear g-d, what is that *thing*?!

wv: bowelpha - Mom's got a bowelpha of Jello - and fetus.

Amy said...

That last image will be burned into my brain forever. It's like something from a really bad sci-fi flick. I'm still cringing.

Sherry said...

Ohmygosh. I choked on my breakfast! You should give us a "empty your mouth" warning!
That last one is just tragic.

Julie said...

That last one is a shocker to say the least. Eww eww eww eww!

WV: myini. I do NOT want myini depicted in a belly cake ever!

Pho Merlin said...

I actually shrieked at the last one OMG!


~Pho~

Sandi said...

Just when I thought they couldn't get any worse! I was wrong . . . so, so wrong.

Emmyn said...

As a 35 weeks pregnants mom, i will only say:


ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

And that i'm really happy to not have a shower again. (even if my first shower cake was a wreck too..)

WV: Aliti. Those cakes are aliti too much for me today..especially the last one. The horror!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh tht last one is the most disgusting cake I've ever seen!!!

Lisa said...

What.the.hell.

Emmyn said...

Oh, and why the last cake is an horror?

Imagine getting a mommy belly skinned, the water would be clear (like the gelatin) and at 30-38 weeks the baby is white due to duvet and some "cream"....Anatomically correct floating baby in gelatin. Gross. Only missing is the placenta and cordon..which i hope no one will ever attempt to reproduce.

jebus llama said...

Did...people...actually eat that last cake?! Wouldn't they have seen it and ran in the other direction? I would have! Thanks Jen...I haven't seen a good horror movie in a while...now I will see one every night as I picture people digging in...*shudder* (but with glee).

~Jaclyn

Lisa said...

Did someone actually think that last cake was a good idea? Really? That has to be one of the most unappetizing cakes I've ever seen.

Krys72599 said...

I have nothing to say, but:
UGH.
And double UGH.
And UGH to the bazillionth degree.

Mitchley1 said...

I wish the baby inside was a carrot jockey

Anonymous said...

GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leorising said...

OMG! Echoing your scream now. AAAAAAAAA! D:

Anonymous said...

omg. O.M.G. The gelatin baby is beyond bad.

Christy said...

Well, I just lost about 3 pounds. And I don't think I will ever eat again.
*shudder*

Anonymous said...

Why does it say "Farewell, Baby Noh"? Please tell me they didn't name the baby and then decide to terminate the pregnancy. And then celebrate by eating cake.

Annapanna said...

The last cake is, by far, the most disgusting and disturbing cake I've seen on this website for the 3 years I've been following it. I'd rather eat the fungus-covered foot-cake than that one. Seriously! must.think.of.my.happy.place....

Sara said...

Oh my god. I think the water broke on that last one. I think I'm experiencing some morning sickness of my own right now...

Lisa B said...

What is wrong with people??? I have learned not to drink coffee when I read your blog, because frankly coffee out the nose hurts. But now I'll have to remember not to be eating my lunch either. I just know I'm going to have nightmares about gelatinous mutants oozing out of stomachs.

Anonymous said...

That thing taking a swim in the last one looks like Egghead Jr or Chicken Little or somesuch. Must have been an animated birth.

ania said...

"Otherwise rational women dreamed of eating chocolate-filled diapers" = Gag.me.with.a.spoon.

"Farewell Baby Noh" cake - This whole cake just seems....wrong. Why farewell to the baby? Whatever the reason, why is there lingerie? Is this a sad cake? Also, that looks like the inside of a real thigh.

"Gelatin" cake....
Speechless.

Maryn said...

I have never posted on here before but am a long time reader.

That horrid gelatin disater will never be erased from my memory! EVER!

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

NOOOO! MY EYES! MY EYES!!

Amy S said...

:( I dont want to eat the baby!

Anonymous said...

Never saw that coming...yikes.

MrsNose said...

my eyes! my eyes!!!
trauma
fear
loathing
brain burn

there's no words enough to match that last one

Julie M said...

I might be opening up a can of worms, but when will they give us a cake showing the conception??

Knit Wit said...

I was FINE... FINE I tell you... until that last one! If I ever go to a baby shower and see that I will be the one screaming.

Anonymous said...

I did put my coffee down but as I went further down the line i didn't seem to have any problems with drinking it while I looked. So I took a sip and scrolled to the last picture. I choked on my coffee you told me to put down... The last one is absolutely terrifying.

Skwishee said...

That is disgusting... I think that would make an expectant mother toss her cookies all over it. What a great way to end a baby shower!

Bar-b said...

Long time listener, first time caller.

dude. that last one was wrong. amniotic fluid made from gelatin with happy fetus inside. *blech* reminds me of aspic.

We need follow up stories for these cakes. Like who the hell cuts it, eats it and how.

Thanks for the laughs and then the final grimace, though. Love your blog.

L.A.C.E. said...

bahahaha The pictures are horrifying yet hilarious. and the comments are even better. I just about peed myself over the electroshock therapy comment.

the last one though, one person said exactly what I was thinking. "why, oh why".

Valerie said...

Speechless. That last cake...effing speechless. Jaw-dropping, stomach churning, vomit inducing, speechlessness!

einaphets said...

I'm gonna go with the glass is half full theory and say that Cake #4 is a farewell from her fellow exotic dancers as mom quits to have baby Nok. Or baby "no one knows" as they dubbed it at work.

But that's just me.

Laura said...

Ewwww - that's just gross!! All of it, but especially, ESPECIALLY the last one. Ack!

blackwhitereadallover said...

This is...well, words fail me and I'm a WRITER.

J said...

AAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHH!

*uncontrollable sobbing*

Why would anyone DO that???

Julie B said...

Maybe I'm crazy, but more than gross, I find that last one hilarious!! If I was served a piece of that last monstrosity, on the other hand, I'm not sure if I would be laughing so hard...

T said...

tell me someone has invented a way to scrub that last image from my brain - truly - truly horrific!

Anonymous said...

That last one will haunt me for a long, long while. So much for my lunch break...

lisagems said...

That first cake isn't baby bottom, it's a scrotum with feet. I'm mean, look at it!

As for the last, gelatin with cake? eeeww. what? oh. OOOOOH! I'm supposed to be horrified at the fetus. Mostly, it's just lame.

einaphets said...

I wish we could see video of the crowd reaction to the unveiling of that last concoction.

That white squiggly lump to the right of the "baby" reminds me of that white squiggly fleck in eggs.

One cake singlehandedly put me off two foods. Thanks, cakewrecks.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

To Anony @ 11:56, :-D

The meatloaf baby wasn't technically a cake, as gross as it was. I put it as second in my book.

This is an actual CAKE. With Jell-O. And a gross gummy baby...er plastic? Thing. Was that baby even edible?

What's missing is bananas, marshmallows and strawberries.

"Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." -Willy Wonka, Charlie & the Chocolate Factory

Laura said...

Note to self, DO NOT have a baby show and if you do, make the cake yourself! Usually CW has me laughing like an insane person. I am still in shock from the last cake. And I thought zombie movies were creepy, that takes the cake, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT LAST ONE IS JUST NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Mitchley1, I am crying with laughter and nodding my head in agreement.

Jen you have outdone yourself. Brilliant and painful. Perfect commentary! Womb with a view... I am still dying here.

~Yet another Jenn, albeit one from Oregon

Anonymous said...

the last picture is horrifying

msbarrows said...

Oh dear god... that last cake. My mind just refuses to accept that some living, breathing human being thought that the combination of a semi-revealed, teddy-clad female torso, clear jello, and a never-been-exposed-to-sunlight deep-cave-pigmentless-white baby was a sane idea. Especially given the presence of what looks disturbingly like *AN UMBILICAL CORD* suspended in the gelatin. I'm really hoping that's just really some odd reflection/clouding.

Maureen said...

um...eh...wha?...*sob*...*scream*...loses any craving for jello.

What in the world? That is seriously the worst thing ever! The cakes were weird and made me wonder why, but the last one? I uttered a involuntary "Ugh!" and I think my lips are still stuck in the eww position.

Anonymous said...

That last one will guarantee that I will never eat, let alone look at another cake again. Not to mention the nightmares that I will be having now.

namaste27 said...

These almost make me think that a diaper "cake" is better.....ALMOST.
ANYTHING to do with baby feces or birth should NEVER be represented in cake form. Edible or not!!

Mags said...

NOOOOOOOO!
They did NOT float a plastic? edible? baby in gelatin?!!!

That is hilarious/awful/revolting/shocking/and amazing all at the same time...

But mostly, just GROSS!!
;) Mags

Anonymous said...

Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

wv - beles lololol

Anonymous said...

Funny enough, I think the "farewell" cake is more disturbing, because someone had already chopped part of the leg so it looks like a dissection corpse.

ABrownMole said...

THERAPY!! I NEED THERAPY!!!!

What on bloody Earth possessed someone to do that last cake!? I'd scream "Mommy!" but it would remind me of that torturous gelatinous abomination.

I'm now speechless...

Jill T said...

Ummmm....why does that one say "Farewell?"
And that last one made me vomit a little in my mouth.

tarichuck said...

Oh my pregnant belly...that last cake would be more effectively used as birth control. Yikes!

laceymama said...

I just gagged when I scrolled down to the last one. I may take a cake hiatus for a while.

the apple that astonished paris said...

lololol a womb with a view. that's beautiful.

The New Mom on the Blog said...

At first I was going to comment about how inappropriate it is that the torso with the green dress is showing us that the, ahem, temperature of the room is kind of...cold...

But, then I saw the last one and nipples no longer seem so inappropriate. I would gladly make the nipple one my wedding cake if we can just make the Jello one go away.

:shudder:

Clayvessel said...

And it kinda looks on that last one like it was originally covered with icing and they smeared it off to reveal the treasure underneath. Did the guests run out screaming? I would have.

welamom said...

That which has been seen cannot be unseen.

Ew.

Matthew said...

Why is casper floating in jello?

winsomebulldog said...

[ear-splitting scream]

[of glee]


Priceless!

liza said...

These are the most disturbing cakes I have ever seen. Ever.

Fife in AK said...

I wish I could remember the last thing I wanted to unsee to wash away that baby suspended in gelatin. That is revolting!

*shudders*

Anonymous said...

I'm in total agreement with the teddy bear on the second cake: clutching at my heart and fainting
(in glee, as you can tell from the slight smile).

Heidi said...

OMG!! I have not been astounded by a cake post on here in awhile, but that last cake is truly horrifying! I even showed my kids (ages 10 and 8) and they literally jumped back from the computer and screamed. WHAT were they thinking??

Anonymous said...

Okay, these actually make me [i]glad[/i] I didn't have a baby shower! Yeesh.

Peg said...

OH, OH, OH > I have never in all the time I have been reading CW, yelled out loud at a post. This is the first. I think I actually yelped. I will not be sleeping tonight.

Melinda said...

To be honest, until someone mentioned it, I didn't even notice that the "Farewell Baby Noh" cake had pieces cut out of the leg. I think I was staring (in glee!) at the writing and wondering if the stomach was supposed to be saying farewell to the baby in anticipation of its departure from the womb. (I don't know, maybe I'm giving the wreckorator too much credit here. One who would make a cake like that most likely isn't blessed with an overabundance of good sense or logic.)

Loo-E Loo-I: My daughter and I love that quote from CatCF! We use it whenever we can fit it into a conversation, and sometimes even when we can't. :-)

Chiennoir said...

Um... thanks for reminding us that once something has been seen, it cannot be un-seen. (shudder)

Pilgrim said...

Oh.dear.God.
I just really wasnt expecting that last cake.
But its going to take years of therapy or a lot of drugs to get that picture out of my head....

Anonymous said...

that last one makes me question the sanity of the baker

shewolfe said...

*closes eyes*

No no no no no!

*whimpers*

Lisa said...

totally caught off guard with the last one...you've taken me to a place I never wanted to go. I gasped out loud and covered my mouth (just in case). Ick.

ksaldria said...

These cakes disturb me. So. Freaking. Much. D:

Carolyn B. Haddad said...

holy crap! i don't think i've ever actually screamed while viewing a wreck, but that last gelatin one really threw me! it was seriously one of the scariest things i have ever seen. i think my eyes almost popped out they were so wide with shock. what possesses people to make things like this?!?!?!?! gahh

Anonymous said...

AAAAHHHH!!!! WTF?! *hurk*

And, I'm also a little freaked out by the one that says "Farewell"... where exactly is the baby going? Wait...I don't want to know.

msyendor said...

Sigh. So much for evolution. My only thought's were: 1) If it's aspic, I'm gonna hurl; and 2) Bury it in sulfer, dig it up a year later and call it 1000-year old problem child.

Pretty mild considering the site I visted before this was Oddee and it was featuring anatomically correct cakes. Talk about vivisection and cannabalism.

Anonymous said...

what is seen cannot be unseen, you did warn us, but oh! the humanity!

kingshearte said...

OK, it may not have been ear-splitting, but I definitely let out a high-pitched exclamation at that last cake. That thing is just plain wrong.

Hannah said...

There have been a lot of awful cakes on here, and that was unquestionably the worst one.

elzebrook said...

OH MY GOD THE NIGHTMARES

Debbie said...

That's the last time I read this blog while eating my lunch!

Susanlee said...

I'm a laborist, and once, I swear to cake, the baby slid out of its mother while she was in the wheelchair on her way up to L&D. Without her water breaking. It looked pretty much exactly like that last cake: a baby in a fishbowl. Freaky.

Anonymous said...

The first boob cake almost looks like a face! The gelatin cake *huhh?* is the second worst thing I've seen, worst being "meatloaf baby" :-o love the blog! Caulfield560

Frankly said...

So so so very glad I'm not pregnant right now. Once you put something like that out into the universe it comes back again and again and again.

Nikki said...

I don't comment here very often, but I have to say this:

OMG

Heather said...

yeah, that last one was absolutely awful!!!!!!

but did anyone else notice that one the second cake (the wrinkly baby with mutilated rabbit stuffie beside it)... it says, "congratulation"... no "s" at the end.

which just adds one. more. layer to the horror. LOL

Angie said...

Why? In the name of all that is good... why?

Gelatin baby is the worst cake I've ever seen. Ever. E V E R

Brain bleach, anyone?

Jen said...

OH GOD, WHY????

wv: cutchiza - please don't ever make a cake effigy of my cutchiza

Karen said...

That last one is magically digusting. *Shudder*

Erdbeermilch said...

Most scariest post ever @_@ ..

Lapsed Pastafarian said...

Oh wow, I can't wait to show that last one to my husband, a professional baker. That will make his day...well you know what I mean.

OhmesLand said...

I never realized how glad I would be that human bellies are not transparent. Yikes! I was really beginning to think those cakes were extremely unappetizing. And then the Jello! The good news is that I think I can now make it through the day without snacking.

offensive said...

that last cake is how i imagine the "birthing" scene in the last Twilight movie will look...

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does that gelatin baby look sort of like it's holding out a fist and giving us the finger?

Micalah said...

So funny yet so gross!
That last one was so wrong. Why would you even eat a cake like that?

Melinda said...

Seriously, I think you need to send out a warning before hitting us with that last cake; I had children in the room! "What's that, mommy?" (Quickly Scrolling) "Nothing honey, look at this pretty flag cake!"

Diana J. said...

The only thing that I could imagine being worse would be of a cesarean-section-in-action belly cake. With jello.

HannaSolo said...

Um...wow, no words. I really didn't see that coming.

Jillian said...

I think the farewell cake might have been for an office party on the mom's last day before leave. Or maybe they sold the baby. ;)

BADKarma! said...

Oh. My. Gods.

That's it, I got nuthin' else...

Little Luxuries said...

OMG, that last one! AIEEEEEEEEE!!!

I am sending you the bill for my PTSD therapy.

Glasgow Cakes said...

That last image will stay with me forever.

Anonymous said...

It's a Zombie baby and it's hungry for brains!

Anonymous said...

YUCK! Enough said! YOU scare me!!!

Aliza said...

Loved your storyline for this post. I wondered why you were covering familiar territory-- then I saw that last cake.

Cake #2 is horribly lumpy, and I agree with @Jo about the chocolate-loaded butt.

Cake #3, 4 and 5 are as well done as that style can get, although that "Farewell Baby Noh" IS disconcerting. Unless it's for a young stripper who went by the stage name "Baby No" (but made a bit more subtle by spelling it "Noh") and now that she's pregnant she has to leave her job?

Do I dare ask what mohawk baby is made of? What the oozing white is around the gel base is? or what is happening to the dress in front? And most importantly... did the guests at that party eat that shudder-inducing cake?!

gailmccormick said...

That was a prime example of exponential growth..of uncomfortableness!!!

Anonymous said...

OMG ... they're bad. My baby shower cake was a plain white-iced cake with a cute little keepsake teddy bear ornament and some sugar-flowers on top. What the hell is wrong with these people that they feel the need to make these unbelievably disturbing cakes???

Also, that last one is like a trainwreck ... don't want to stare, but it's so horriffic you just can't look away. *shudder*

Elizabeth
Sydney, Australia.

Gretchen said...

EEEEEKK!!!! That last one is so horrifying! Make it go away!

stuckinmypedals said...

I'm so glad I saw that last one in the afternoon-plenty of time to erase all my memories before bedtime. Yeesh-that one is sure to cause some terrible nightmares!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does the "baby" on - or should I say IN - the last one have one huge, muscular arm and one tiny one?

-Jacob

wv: wersc. These are some of the wersc cakes I've ever seen.

Marnie said...

Oh. my. word! That last one is horrific! Who...WHO in their right mind thinks that's appropriate? As if the torso cakes weren't bad enough!

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