Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Wreck and Roll

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ever thought it was IMPOSSIBLE to have all of your favorite 80s hits in one place? That there was simply NO WAY to hear all of the hottest artists together in one jam-packed jam session? That you could ever only enjoy that much music in some magical world, where thousands of songs could easily fit on a lightweight portable device? Well, you're right. (That would be CRAZY.) So until then, we're offering you the musical deal of a lifetime!!

That's right, with the "Wreckin' Rock Power Mix," you'll never miss a beat. This colossal power-collection comes delivered to your doorstep in 6 dominating power-boxes of 23 LPs or 39 power cassette tapes. That's 846 power-hits!

We'll include the tastiest of licks, like:

"Writing on Sunshine"

"I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! I'm writing on sunshine, whoa-oh! And I bet it tastes good! HeH! Alright now!"


"Love is a Battlefield"

"We are strong! No one can tell us pink's wrong!"


"Dancing on the Ceiling"

"Ooh, what a feeling! When you're dancing on the... seriously, did you notice that this cake was written on upside-down? Really... look at it again."


"Hungry Like the Wolf"

"Lost in the bakery, too pink to hide. I'll cause a toothache right when you take a bite.
Do do dooo do do doo do do doo do do doo do dooo dooooooo."



"She Blinded Me With Science"

"She blinded me with science (SCIENCE!) and failed me in the bakery."


"Tainted Love"

"Sometimes I feel I've got to uhn uhn run away. I've got to uhn uhn get away from all the cupcake cakes you sell to me..."


"Let's Get Physical"

"Crack that whip!"

...and more! You'll never find a more rocktastic compilation of all of the best artists from yesterday and beyond. And if you call now, we'll also include a FREE bonus 8-track cassette of all of the best songs from the 70s! These songs will blast your earholes into another sound dimension!!

"Lean on Me"

"Lean on me... when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you caaarry severaltiersofcakeandfrosting. Andpossiblysomeprincessflotsam!"


"I Melt With You"

"I'll stop the world and melt this food. You've seen the Cake Wrecks, and they're getting better all the time."


and "Crocodile Rock."

"I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzy had so much... DEAR GOD, what IS that thing!?? AAAAAAAgggGHGHH! EEeeeAAAAGHHH!!"


Call now!


Other artists include Emily W., Cassandra B., and Becky W. in the hot 80s trio "The Wreckinettes." Bonus tracks by Susan A., Megan P., Sarah A., and Annie H. from the popular ballad band "Susan and The Wreckies." And of course, no compilation album would be complete without the greatest hits of top rocker hair band, "Possum Wreck Slashers," with vocal styling from Jessica E., Amanda H., and Rachel C. Rock on!!
Charlene said...

Have I just been looking at too many wrecks so that I see goofs that aren't there - or is "birthday" spelled wrong on that first cake too?? "Brithday"?? - looks like that to me.

DesertHeather said...

Those cakes are as nightmarish as 80's fashions were/are.

The Boob Nazi said...

This was awesome.

Allicat said...

I love that whoever arranged the penultimate cake put a very pointed "This is supposed to say..." notice above it :)

WV: carav. Wrecks are to baking what caravs are to driving.

Anonymous said...

Great post! Perfect captions and truly dreadful/baffling cakes. Excellent work to start off what is sure to be a wrecktastic month!

Have a lovely day, and thanks for bringing a daily smile to so many.

--kate

RoseAnn said...

I love that the melted cake comes with its own decoder! LOL

Trevor said...

Okay, I'm going to be picky for once. Why is the "Get Physical" cake saying "Crack that whip?" Wouldn't it make more sense to call the cake "Whip it?" Let's give Devo some love here! :)

Being a child of the 80's, basically, I LOVED this post. The lyrics and song choices were great!

Sharon said...

Is it showing my age that I know ALL those songs?

And the third one...she's a light-footed construction worker helping put up the high beam....with flair!

Sharon's Edible Art

Stella said...

K-tel those babies! Really bad commercials to go along with those cakes!

Gary said...

Something tells me Number 1 may know a little too much about 80s pop songs. ;-}

Cakey Goodness said...

Wow, 80s rock plus CCCs FTW!

Incidentally, "I'll Melt With You" was released in 1982 [Epcot].

Katie said...

Hahahaha. I sorta like the "Tainted Love" cake, even though it's a CCC. There have been worse!

ferralyn said...

I don't think the "Let's get physical" cake is technically a wreck - I mean, it's very well done and everything is spelled correctly, it's just really funny! I wonder if Shelley is the instructor or the poor hapless girl being whipped into shape?

Poor poor melty cake - I'll bet you still tasted good. Or not.

And the amount of frosting on that crocodile cake made my teeth feel like his!

Mary Connealy said...

You guys are the MASTERS of pop culture references from all media.

LOL

Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

This post just cries out for an audio/video accompaniment...please??

Normie

Sandy also in SoFla said...

Awesome post. Great way to tie random wreckiness...

yep, K-Tel.. I remember..lol.

Thank you for a great start to Dec.

Shanti said...

Awesome to the max! [/futurama]

I've been on a bit of an 80s kick lately - just re-watched "Back to the Future" in honor of its 25th anniversary, and wow did that movie hold up well.

I loved the way they tried to correct the "Dady" misspelling on the Sunshine cake by underlining "Dad" - pay no attention to that y hanging out without a partner...

florid nightingale said...

Am I the only one who thinks the crocodile is kinda cute?

Yeah. Thought so.

Tom Saaristo said...

This theme is all kinds of AWESOME!

arensb said...

Hm. The skull on the "Tainted Love" cake looks a bit like the Combichrist logo. But that can't be, because it would make the cake not-eighties.

(And I won't mention any Combichrist song titles, because this is supposed to be family-friendly.)

TJ said...

Happy... Bvithday?

Happy... Buthday?

If you don't know how to spell it, use the art of distraction, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Number #1 where is the audio of you signing this???

Otherwise a hysterical post!

cc

David Plass said...

Happy Brithday, Dady!

Karyl said...

Between this post and yesterday's you are officially the wittiest blogger ever.

JuliaKoponick said...

I love the blinded by science cake!!

Thanks to all the wreckies who entered my free fudge drawing. It isn't too late if you still want to get in on the action.

(Jen, if you let me know what kind of fudge you like, I will mail you some, just for letting me get the word out to everyone.)

I have a new giveaway today, you can still get more entries for the fudge giveaway, but today only you can also win a button purse, perfect for a little one who likes carrying things.

Check it out at http://juliakoponick.blogspot.com/2010/12/season-of-service.html

Julia

Anonymous said...

Oh sweet Lord... That Crack the Whip cake is so wrong... Can you feel it now?!

I love the melting cake, too. I want one.

ellemck1

vmdesign said...

Hey now, give the "run away" CCC some credit! That baker finally learned that cupcakes mushed together cannot possibly make the shape of lips! *Obviously* the best solution is to just shorten the icing to the desired shape :)

Amanda said...

As always, the cakes are funny but your writing takes it up to HILARIOUS!

wv: imajik--this cakes are imajik-ally delicious?

Danger Boy said...

This is one fantastic Brithday compilation! Did anyone else think Ryan Stiles, Colin Mockrey, and Wayne Brady when they read this?

amchornetgirl said...

I was also going to point out that "I'll Melt with You" is an 80's song, but someone beat me to it. Great wrecks as always!

Justine said...

Does this collection come on 8 Track too!!!

CookieMonster said...

I don't know how you guys come up with so much knee-slapping humor every day, but I sure do appreciate it.

Julie said...

That alligator is truly horrendous! Although it's not too bad a rendition of what yesterday's "horny toad" was supposed to look like.

Little Lovables said...

"I'll stop the world and melt this food...." hahahaha!!!

WV: noroppin. There's noroppin the fact that you nailed this post.

Esty said...

I saw "sloppy birthday" on the gymnast cake. That's a pretty good trick she's got there - ought to win the Olympic Gold with that move!

@Danger Boy - I was right there with you with those voices in my head.

mladybright said...

I have totally embarrassed my son by singing along with each of these... while laughing so hysterically I couldn't sing... which made for strange singing.

I find that appropriate in view of these cakes.

My most WT? moment was the balance beam cake. How on earth? Why? So nice. So wrong.

Awesome post!

Son's comments -- "the wolf is drooling" & "that battlefield cake is really good -- if you're thinking 'Destroy All Humans 2' video games"

~~Di

Tricia L said...

The melty cake ... did it ever have all the names or is that the "after I put it on the front seat of the car and forgot I had the seat warmer on" result.

Yes, audio is required for today's CW. Pretty please????

Kezmoo said...

Hmm... that CCC makes me think more "Your lips are venomous poison"!

Swan said...

Yes Danger Boy, me too. Did anyone else catch the Princess Bride reference in the crocodile wreck comments? I heard "Dear God what is that thing?" in Westley's voice.

Anonymous said...

I'll Melt with You is from the 80's & yes I'm showing my age here!

Stephanie said...

great post!!!

Anonymous said...

Aaah! I've been LOOKING for a ballerina construction worker cake!

Anna said...

I think this one deserves a sing-along video ;)

MelissaD said...

HA! I started hearing all these songs in my head as I read through these - almost like the muzak in the grocery store!
And I agree with the other comments here - we need another of your great audio/video versions please to accompany this post!

Renny said...

Crack that whip with "Physical?" I expect more from you Jen. Tsk tsk.
All the members of Devo are weeping at being so shunned.

Stephanie said...

I loved the one with the note explaining what the cake was supposed to say. If only all Wrecks came with one of those...

lisadh said...

Truly great job today, CW! I eagerly await the video (pretty please?)!


wv: scroated

Um, I'll leave that one be. ;-)

Anonymous said...

In defense of the poor spelling on cake one... It can be hard to spell with the sun in your eyes...


In your eyes,
the r's the d's
In your eyes,
it is complete

Anonymous said...

"I Melt With You" is not a 70's song. It's by Modern English and came out in 82. I should know, I fancy myself a severe addict of synthpop.

Craig said...

"I'll stop the world and melt this food" is a convincing Mondegreen.

The 'dancing on the ceiling' cake is like one of those optical illusions where some see a lamp and some see two faces -- and most immediately see only the other thing once it is pointed out. I saw the upside down gymnast at first, but the girl is clearly demonstrating that new Olympic competition: overhead balance beam.
Though dismounts are incredibly easy, all contestants get 1000 difficulty points right off the bat.

By the way, I'm pretty sure 'I'll Melt With You' was released in 1982.

wv: solart. A contraction of 'solar art', like the first cake features a contraction of 'daddy'.

Heather said...

I thought the "Let's Get Physical" cake was a combination Olivia Newton John plus a reference to Devo? In the song "Whip It" they say, "Crack that whip!"

Bee's hive said...

Ok so I'm laying here with ice on my head because of a migraine, feeling like I had to do something....so I see cakewrecks on my newsfeed. Laughing so hard at your captions and the pink THING doesn't help migraine pain, but it sure helped my mood!
Thanks for sharing your wrecks peeps, for one that lacks the crafty gene, it makes me feel not so alone in this talented world

Beth said...

"Crocodile Rock" an 80's song? Sorry - 1972.

Anonymous said...

Beth,

Read the post.

Susan T-O said...

I would love to have some really witty observation to make about these cakes. Unfortunately, my brain is still going, "Um. . . uh. . . but. . . wha. . ." I think it's scary that while I did notice "Dady" on the first cake, I totally missed "brithday" & had to go look again. Is my brain (brian?) THAT immune to misspellings that now it thinks they are correct?

Teresa Green, L. Ac. said...

Even though google tells me it was recorded in the 60s, the first thing I thought of with the melted cake was "MacArthur Park."

Pauline C said...

I love the TPB quote you snuck in on that last one...
Should have been with yesterday's blog though. Oh well, Princess Bride is Princess Bride, no matter which way you slice it!

wv: ariarly - I had to get up ariarly this morning...

Robin said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post! 80's music and some good laughs all rolled together!

Late said...

LOL. And it's weird, right when I scrolled down to the "Crocodile Rock" cake, the song came on! Whoaaaaa. Anyway, fantabulous post as usual.

Cloudy said...

Brithday and Dady have got to be wrong. But if wreckeratin's wrong, I don't wanna be right!

And is that CHEESE in that last one?? A crocodile with sickly green fosting and cheese?

Well, any, I'm all set for karaoke tomorrow night!

Cloudy

ND in CT said...

Wonderful, brilliant post! I think the "Get Physical" cake should make friends with the "No Sexual Harassment" cake

Ziggyeor said...

Oh wow your comments just make it all that much better. I am awaiting the musical version to be posted to youtube complete with cell phone interruption ;)

Anonymous said...

Those are scary. What on earth does the lips one say?

ilze said...

Thanks for the stroll down memory lane!

'Tainted love' - ideal solution for groups where some people want less icing on the cupcake

'crocodile' - are those teeth made with corn chips?

Tanya said...

I love the random Princess Bride quotes. :)

RobbynW said...

Luckily the visual distraction in the background of the 1st cake helps to hide all of the spelling errors....Happye Brithday Dady. Props to gaudy behind the scenes camouflage! ;o)

Anonymous said...

Time to break out my Veggie Tales CDs- "Bob and Larry Sing the 70's" and "Bob and Larry Sing the 80's" most of these songs are there.
Now where did I put my leg warmers and hair crimper? Oh, there they are, right under my poster of Ricky Schroeder.
This was too cool!

WV: crool. What wreckerators say on Elvis cakes- "Don't be Crool"

Gina said...

My favorite part of the post: The "unh unh" in Run Away :)

Uh, I mean to say that I love the whole post, but that the "unh unh" is particularly funny.

Heather said...

Does anyone know what the "tainted love" CCC says? All I can see is "Muat"

MarieC said...

THIS was one of your very best posts ever!!

Digital Daguerreotypist said...

To the pain!

Anonymous said...

Military flotsam on pink cake-that makes real sense *headesk*

Susan Marie said...

That gator cake. Oh, my. Thank y'all for my big laugh today, as always!

MamaBear91 said...

But if we order, do we get a set of Ginsu knives, as well?

Anonymous said...

I was laughing at the "crocodile rock" cake, and my 2 year old son came over, pointed, and shouted, "that's scary!" He then proceeded to look at the rest of the pictures and laugh at each one. I think he's a future wreckporter in the making!

~Jess from NM

Kellynbobellen said...

so Im not just thinking about this particular post because as wrecks go, these arent the worst. But, I look at this site and think two things.

First is, who actually thought that their cakes looked good enough to sell?!?!?!

Second, who actually spends money on cakes that look like these!?!?!?

I am a pastry chef, so i LOVE this site, but I also am just dumbfounded that there are just terrible decorators out there and that people buy them (and I dont mean the people on this website that bought them BECAUSE they looked funny!)

I just dont get it!

Craig said...

I see 'Myatt' on the 'Tainted Love' Cake. Once you see it, you'll realize that that makes no sense either.

The skull and crossbones is definitely concerning, though...

Macarthur Park doesn't work for the melting cake because the "sweet, green icing" is chocolate. It also looks like someone left it in a hot car, not out in the rain.

wv: gredrog. Kind of like 'redrum', only gredrog is gordreg spelled backwards.

Green said...

It's bad that I looked at this update and thought, "Oh, I know an actor that would appreciate this!"

...

Oy.

Arlene said...

Ohhhh those hilarious wreckerators are at it again. Brithday and dady? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Not to mention my favorite song "Tainted Love" is now stuck in my head. So much to blame the wreckerators for here lol.

pikkewyntjie said...

A-Ha! U2 can have a wrecked cake! Which reaction do you want when you see your wrecked cake: tears or fears? These were clearly created by simple minds and anyone could see with their naked eyes that these are wrecks. Some people clearly don't understand modern English, or they would not misspell words like that! Some of that frosting looks like something left behind by a flock of seagulls, like all you have to do is squeeze out the frosting. I know mostly women decorate cakes, but I think there were some men at work here, too. (If they were men without hats, I hope they wore hair nets.) I wonder what the cure for this madness is. Maybe the decorators need more REM sleep. I think I'll have a taco instead.
The post was great, but I'd put them in a new order.

Okay, I'm done.

Lara said...

best back story yet!!!!

flying gargoyle said...

Oh! [wiping tears of laughter from eyes] Where to start? Kudos on today's blog. The lyrics parodies are as brilliant as the pairing of songs & wrecks.

BADKarma! said...

You forgot one reference for that first cake... "Hey litle grl, is yor dady home... etc. ohOhohoOH, I'm on fire..."

Geesh.

ditto said...

Out of all the postings of Cake Wrecks on your site, these made me laugh out loud! Thank you for the trip down memory lane! The captions were priceless!!

Heather D. said...

Uh.... the gator cake looks like guac with chips.

Anonymous said...

About the war cake -

In the 60s and 70s, a company named Avalon Hill produced wargames that used cardboard pieces and paper maps with hexagons. During this entire time the colors for the sides were those exact shades - described as "Baby Blue" and "Frou Frou Pink".

Its hard to get into the US versus Nazis at the Battle of the Bulge or Lee versus Meade at Gettysburg with those colors.

Anonymous said...

Well maybe the wreckerators are forced, much like yours truly, to listen to horrible 80s music while making cakes all day (I hear all the songs you have referenced on a regular basis at work).
So far I have not incorporated the songs into any cakes but now you have given me something to think about...

~Nikki~ said...

HILARIOUS! What is that pink furry monster about?


see my blog: nikkiscakery.blogspot.com

Sophie Rose said...

This has got to be my favorite entry on the site.

Layla said...

So the upside gymnast on the balance beam totally had me humming U2. She moves in mystrious ways.

Scott said...

The subtle Princess Bride quote was a nice touch.

Sandy T. said...

Oh my Lord - are the alligator's teeth made from TACO CHIPS?!?! The worst yet.

However, this was a great entry (I particularly loved the Tainted Love cake).

Alma said...

Great job guys! You've just combined 3 of my favorite things: The Princess Bride, 80's music, and cakewrecks humor!!

ishtheintrepid said...

Now I have to find the picture from my 23rd birthday that exemplifies "Lean on Me." I came up for Thanksgiving and the day before, my Dad picked me up to take me for a flu shot. While filling out the paperwork for me and my brother, he asked the date. "November 26." "And your birthdate?" "November 26, 1980." Both he and my brother got panicked looks on their faces, my brother left to run an errand and I got whisked away to see a movie with Dad and my fiance just because Dad was in the mood to watch one before Thanksgiving. I got home to find my mom had made a German chocolate cake--my favorite. I was uber-excited until the middle of the song, when the cake split down the middle, candles-still-lit and fell to either side. We propped it up with spatulas and a copy of the David O. Mckay biography until it was done and my mom has ever since left the cake-baking to my sister-in-law or a baker.