Saturday, December 18, 2010

Watch Your Step

Saturday, December 18, 2010

George: "Clarence..." [clutching stomach] "I still don't feel so good."

Clarence: "Well I told you to be careful. I mean, what were you thinking?"

George: [groaning] "I don't know! It was just all so good! "

Clarence: "You should have stopped after that bowl of nuts. Or the box of raisins. And I wasn't going to say anything, but that third martini wasn't the smartest thing, either. "

George: [whimper]

Clarence: "And then you just had to go for that bowl of maraschino cherries, didn't you?"

George: "Sorry."

Clarence: "Yes, well, that's all fine and good, but who's going to clean this up?



"'Cuz I don't need the wings that bad."



Thanks, Anyaa D. You enjoy that fruitcake, now.

----------------------------------------------------

CCC Day #6

Operation Smile provides free surgeries to repair cleft lip, cleft palate and other facial deformities for children around the globe. Just $240 can pay for a surgery - so what do you say we try to pay for at least 20, guys?

Click here to donate your dollar.
VeggieT said...

there are no words... except maybe a dry heave after seeing that

Em said...

I'm the first comment! That's amazing! I live in Japan. Finally the time difference benefits me.

Also, that cake makes me wish I hadn't drank so much tonight.

oneguy said...

THAT one got a LOL from our teenager. Could've done without the visual, though... Just saying.

M.G said...

That.....is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. In other news, Operation Smile is a great charity. :) My school raised $1800 for surgeries back in October.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Should not have looked at that while eating breakfast. Bleh...appetite gone

Cortney said...

I should not have been drinking hot chocolate while reading this post...I should know better and avoid any types of food while reading Cake Wrecks!

Seriously though, that is the grossest picture EVER!

ana lisette said...

Bahaha!! There's a theory that there is just one fruitcake in the world that keeps gettting resold/regifted because no one wants it. Maybe someone should alert this store that you only resell it if it's never been eaten before...barfing it back up does not count.

BigD said...

I never really liked fruit cake before. Now...
Well, I definitely don't see it in my future...

Shannon said...

Today is my 20th birthday! I love fruitcake, but I am going to pass on having this as my birthday cake :/

mladybright said...

Geez, and I was just about to head to the kitchen for breakfast.

Thanks for the help with my diet.

On a weird note - I thought fruitcake was rectangular or round with a hole in the middle? This one being neither gives greater credence to the 'morning after' theory.

Yowzers!

~~Di

wv - grain - first time I ever had one that was a real word -- I think I see some of that in this CW!! Grain alcohol is never good for the system.

jillb-ilslp said...

What a set up!

Congealed emesis. Blech!

(And by the way. Whew! I'm so glad you weren't exiting! ;-D )

Operation Smile is so fitting for you, as you already give us so many smiles! Thanks!

Angie said...

Are those maggots on that cake?

I've never been a fan of fruitcake, and I certainly won't be starting now!

Ice Queen said...

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

While laughing.

Amanda said...

...and they had the nerve to put a Merry Christmas sticker on the packaging. Bleck!

smilingalways said...

As a pregnant woman still in my first trimester, I really do feel like Im going to hurl after seeing that. Really. Oh boy.

Annette said...

I've never understood how homemade fruitcake can be so delicious and storebough such an atrocity.

Anonymous said...

Awwwww you just ruined fruitcake for me.


mladybright...I don't think there are any "rules" on fruitcake shape...but I guess having a hole in the middle makes it cook through more quickly.

corina

Michelle said...

Ummm...... Yuk!!!
Plus from a distance or being viewed on a phone that label didnt look like a Christmas swag, it looks more like a die-cut pumpkin.

And those nasty green fruits look more like olives and not cherries..
Disgusting!!!

Tricia L said...

I really like fruitcake, but that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. Wish you would give us the name of the "Bakery of Shame" that created it.

stuckinmypedals said...

What would possess someone to do that to an innocent cake? Such atrocities should be stopped!

Tamara Marnell said...

What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks kind of cake is that? I'm actually a fan of the traditional fruitcake, but that doesn't look anything like one. It reminds me of something my cat coughed up on the carpet.

mizdarlin said...

It's how I've always felt about fruitcake..but had never put into words..the orignal, and worst Wreck of all..The Christmas Doorstop...

Anonymous said...

As someone fighting a hangover: I wish I hadn't seen that.

LeAnne said...

I have morning sickness really bad and this picture just did not help me out at all. I loved the story before hand though.

Eagle Archambeault said...

Now *I* don't feel so good! That one takes the cake.

Anonymous said...

Poor George and Clarence.
Instead of wings, Clarence will get a mop to clean up the vomit-

and George will be working for Potter Bakeries Inc., World wide Corp., Ltd.- for pennies for the rest of his life.
Kind of like what happened in this country.
mocking

Love the idea of naming the "Bakery of Shame".
Maybe we could call them all Potter Bakeries.

Marie said...

That's just sick.

Emma said...

HAHAHA ewwwwww!

Mary said...

That's just wrong, man that fruit cake is disgusting.

Anonymous said...

That looks like a fecal Specimen I got in my laboratory O_o ewww is an understatement

Success said...

I have seen 30 Christmases, but this will be the first year tasting fruit cake. I have heard so many mixed opinions of fruit cake.

Louise said...

Despite this being maybe the grossest post I've seen, I LOVE the charity for today, and even pimped you on my blog, which 3 or 4 people might read when they get round to it. Thank you for the CCC, I think it's wonderful.

Anne said...

And here we have the major difference between US and Australian supermarkets - ours don't even TRY to hide the cake atrocities with icing.
(For the record the "Merry Christmas" sticker gives it away - this is a generic Woolworths bakery item - be glad they left off the plastic flotsam this time!)

Cake Cop said...

Whoever invented the green maraschino cherry has a lot to answer for!

WendyMom said...

what.....the.....he**?!?!?!?

That's all I have to say, I am so dumbfounded!


wv: nefitist: as in , not even a blind nefitist would buy that hideous thing!

Craig said...

Mrs. Cropley lives!

For those who have yet to partake of the Britcom known as 'The Vicar of Dibley', do yourselves a favor and seek it out.

There is no hole in the middle in which to place additional items of questionable taste (in both senses of the word), but that can probably be fixed with the right power tools.

As it comes from the store, this cake isn't going to match the decor of any place except a bathroom on new year's eve. To fix that, just put a drop cloth on the counter, grab a 1-gallon can of frosting and go to work with your spackle knife. It will take a while to apply all that frosting, but at least you don't have to bake anything. Your friends will thank you (the ones who don't receive it, that is).

Anonymous said...

OMG! My husband is a health inspector and when he saw the picture he said "it's a bowl of puke?" NOPE! My late father in law loved fruit cake..good fruit cake, cheap fruit cake but I don't think even HE could have gagged this one down! You made me laugh! Thanks so much!I see some brave soul ratted out that this came from Woolworths in Australia. Now we know why Woolworths is out of business in the US!

Donna said...

On what planet is that THING appetizing????? UGH!

Anonymous said...

The fact that it's shiny makes it just that much worse!! I agree with Anonymous at 4:19... it looks more fecal than vomital (is that a word?)

WV: Expugea. That pretty much sums up my feelings about this cake!

Negative Nelly said...

Foul, so foul. And true. I'll never eat a nut or a cherry again. LOL - better than the "thanksgiving" turky cakes though. Well, maybe.

Anonymous said...

I just threw up in my mouth....YUCK!!! but thanks for the post! :)

kadterp

nazani said...

I would be thrilled to get that fruitcake- tons of nuts in it! I think it's the photo through the plastic that makes it look bad. Really, a fruitcake is not much different than the European Christmas pudding, except that the fruitcake has too much artificial color, needs a slightly lighter batter, and, of course, lots of rum!

Anonymous said...

Yep, that's a generic technicolour yawn cake, whoops I mean fruitcake from a Woolworths supermarket - one of the "big two" chain supermarkets down here in Australia. I think their logo is meant to be a "W" shaped like an apple - maybe... but then again, who knows?????

Wanna know what their advertising slogan is - it's "Woolworths The Fresh Food People". Go figure.

Little Luxuries said...

OMG; even for fruitcake, that's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

I just found this way too funny! Seeing as you went with George and Clarence, I was picturing both characters from Its a Wonderful Life actually sharing this exchange!! Too funny!! Also extremely gross as well as apt!! Kudos!

Andrea said...

That poor, poor fruitcake. :(

Meegs said...

hooray! i saw this one at my local woolworths this morning too. I was looking for a fruitcake. i went home empty handed.

Anonymous said...

As a past Woolworths employee of 11 years, I have spent the past two years searching for a wreck within my store, but never found anything ugly enough to submit. I'm glad someone has finally discovered one!

~flying gurl~ said...

uhhh I just saw corn...tell me that wasn't corn in there...please...I hate fruit cake..and now I really really really really hate fruit cake. Gack!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

My word verification pretty much sums up what I think of that cake: derria.

Danger Boy said...

That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on here. Was the wrecker named Raaaaaalph?

Caitlin said...

Wow, after a first look my initial thought was "why is there a punch bowl full of vomit on Cakewrecks?" Second thought: "are those wax beans in there?"

That thing is really disgusting!

Cyndi said...

You are so WRONG!

Which is why I love you guys so much. ;)

Anonymous said...

This is disgusting- to make it worse I discoverd that the same cakes are sold at my local supermarket- I wonder if that is the source or if the same horror is found in other branches of the chain?

Rita said...

LOL this is the first time I've seen an Aussie supermarket Cake Wreck. Notice downunder, we don't even use frosting to hide our shame? And they'll still charge $14 for the privelege of taking home a vomit bomb...
Go woolies go!

WV: tallum...
Next time i go to do my groceries at Woolworths, imma tallum that their crappy fruitcakes made it onto cake wrecks!

Anonymous said...

I work at one of the fore mentioned Woolworth, in the bakery, and had the pleaser of dealing with those monstrosities! They came in frozen and we just baked them and glazed them. Another way Woolworth is killing bakeries.