Friday, December 3, 2010

Ice & Easy

Friday, December 3, 2010

Bakers, has this ever happened to you?

You took the order, and you KNOW they spelled it "Jesseie!" But now the rotten customer doesn't want it. Well, hold on!

Don't throw it out! Ice it out!

With new Ice•Out!



Just one swipe of Ice•Out and you'll go from this:

"What do you mean her name isn't 'Elibateh?'"

To this!

"It's like it was never there!"


Made a big mistake?

Ice it Out!


On a cookie cake?

Ice it Out!


And don't forget our Sprink-O-Flage kit to cover up those real doosies!

"Wow. Where'd the cake go? I can't even see it!!"


So remember, bakers, when you use Ice•Out:

It never happened.

Order yours today!


Thanks to Jessie, Never2sad, Johanna M., Michelle, Erin M., Katie C and Vanessa S., who all prefer their Ice*Out in pink high gloss.
The Boob Nazi said...

You two are endlessly clever.

Jenniffer said...

OMG! Sprink-o-flage should totally be a real product!! LOL!!!

Bakingdom said...

When you write "infomercial" posts, I find myself grateful that I work from home...and that no one is home with me...except my dog, but he already knows I'm crazy.

I don't think others would appreciate how hilarious I find it to read posts like this one, out loud (quite loud), in my best infomercial impression.

Amanda Mac said...

I would have sworn it said "Elibatch"!

Danger Boy said...

Finally, a product for wreckers everywhere!
(I agree with AmandaMac...I thought it said Elibatch. Which still doesn't make it OK.)

mimiheart said...

You could sell it and people would buy it. That's the scary part.

My wv is cater. Yes, yes it is.

Olivia said...

This really need a video with the announcer that does the snuggie commercials, a blonde housewife shaking her head in frustration while holding up a spatula and that sparkle noise that floats across the screen showing me the amazing effects of the product.

Jennifer said...

I must be tired. I had to look at it several times to realize that Elibateh was not the correct spelling.

Colleen said...

Love the Cars cake!

Having to "adjust" names and what-not a couple times it can be hard but come on, scrape the whole name off and touch it up. It's not hard and it looks better than sprinkles or huge black spots....

Susan said...

I'm guessing the really obvious cover up ones are from orders that never got picked up or were cancelled. Doesn't make it any less ridiculous.

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

Oh, I could see this as a commercial with the Sham-Wow guy... and hey, order now because he can't be talkin about this all day...

I agree with mimiheart, wreckorators will buy these. They'll be flying off the shelves.

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I need some Ice-out for life. "Take back that stupid thing you said with ICE-OUT"

drgns4vr said...

I want Sprink-o-flage. I'm getting ready for decorating Christmas cookies and I KNOW I'll need Sprink-o-flage.


WV redlys "Here is your cake-- redlys or not."

Terrrs-uh said...

love it!!!!!!!!!!! pretty sure that you could sell this (but it's a shame that billy mays is dead because he'd make a great salesman for this lol)


wv is slato.... i can imagine it on a cake made by a wreckerator who was making a cake for someone who had a criminal or driving record removed that was maybe suppose to say "congratulations on your clean slate" but instead they wrote "congradulation on youre cleen slato" bahahahahaha!!!!

nevermind.... i'm a little loopy right now....

mladybright said...

Bakingdom, I'm with ya, and I don't even SEE infomercials to know how they sound.

You should offer this idea to the Sandra Lee lady from yesterday, Jen. *snort*

I'd like to order three Sprink-o-flage, please -- for the next time my son orders a bakery cake.

I'm still trying to see the brown globs close up, as if swirls of writing tube icing on top of the blobs should make it all better. Who tries to sell these things?

Better yet, WHO in their right mind BUYS them?? ROFL

~~Di

wv - extro -- I want the piece of cake with the extro blobbed icing where the name should be!!

Sharon said...

I love your blog and have been reading for a couple years now. I always laugh out loud while reading. But today... I was crying because I was laughing so hard. Thanks so much for sharing your hilariosity with us! :)

Alysa said...

Ha ha ha ha!!!

widogmom said...

I feel so bad...I missed Elibateh's elebentieth brithdeh bai six hole yiers.

Seriously - as a former secretary (NOT an "Administrative Assistant"), I truly appreciate this. Great job; no correction needed!

Brooke said...

wv: dessnes. Caution: Overuse of Ice out and Sprink-o-flage may cause dessnes. Do not taunt Sprink-o-flage...

Fluffy Cow said...

Want want want!!!! Where so I order!?!?!?!?!

hee hee

MissNay said...

These cakes actually make me angry.
I must be PMSing today because those cakes make me want to fight dance someone

Melinda said...

widogmom, I'm still laughing at your comment!

The fourth cake, though, doesn't have a frosted-out mistake on it. Clearly it's a cake featuring the Tasmanian Devil in "whirling dervish" mode! See all the colorful paper streamers he's kicking up in his wake?

Anonymous said...

I dunno, that orange swirly tornado ice-out looks like a croissant to me. What, you don't celebrate National Laminated Pastry Dough Day?

Elibateh said...

I was very happy with my cake.
I can't imagine how it ended up here!!!

Shauna said...

I don't think I've ever seen a giant croissant cake until now.

roballen said...

The third cake originally said, "Happy F****** Birthday, A******!" (substituting the family-friendly asterisks I've used with words usually not found on cakes.) Hence the "ice-out".

It's a theory.

Cola said...

Heh. I have a friend I call "JessIE" (pronouncing the I and the E). I would totally get her that first cake. xD

Kelley Prather said...

I can't stop laughing! That's the funniest thing I've seen all week! I need to get out more...

msyendor said...

Oh, you forgot ...

Order within the NEXT HOUR and receive TWO Sprink-o-flages for the SAME LOW PRICE. Say the magic words, "As You Wish" and not only will you receive TWO Sprink-o-flages but you will ALSO receive FREE GIFTS of a FONIX DIKSHUNARY, a tub of rainbow SPRINKLES, and COLOR ME BLIND color-mixer wheel. All of the same LOW, LOW Price. ACT NOW. (S&H $7.95 with $5.95 additional for the free gifts)

StephanieC said...

Okay, seriously, I love sugar in all its forms, be it icing, sprinkles, straight spoonfuls of sugar, a combination of those, all three, Coke, whatever...

but that smear-i-ness makes me yes, me! feel icky and want to brush my teeth.

Wouldn't a scraper have worked better or something?

Blech.

Stephanie said...

@Elibateh: Your comment made me cry laughing at work!!! Love it!

Carrie said...

Does that last cake say "Dorina Lupus"?

InfamousQBert said...

that last one looks a lot like the results of my "fixing" a grocery store cake that fell out of the car. who knew i could have gotten paid for that?!

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't that be "doozies" (not doosies)? Just sayin! :o) I think the CW folks need some good-natured ribbing when they misspell words in their posts.

Lara said...

you guys have been en fuego this week!!!!

Bonnie the Beautiful said...

I really like this post. Too Funny!

Suzanne said...

"For life's big screw-ups". Does that mean it works on teenagers?

WV: spermo. I'm not even gonna go there...

Cake Cop said...

"Why shout, when you can remove it with Ice-Out?"

No decorating disaster too big for this edible eraser.

Comes in two flavors: Correcting Chocolate and Vanishing Vanilla.

"Ice-Out: Rewriting cake history since 2010."

Sarah said...

I am not sure if you read all of your comments but I was reading another of my regular blogs & thought that this might interest you. Yes, it's completly about cake. Yes, it is a wreck that you may even want to post (if you're having a slow day, that is. Thank Single Dad Laughing for this interesting wreck of a story!

http://www.danoah.com/2010/12/dog-poop-and-wedding-cake.html

Sarah A. Manning
http://wanttobeok.blogspot.com/

"Guppy" Honaker said...

That Jess ie cake is funny (and the others that follow). Reminds me of when my wife made a cake for a friend of ours and really, really misspelled his name. Oops - no "Ice & Easy" back then.

- David

Top 10 Aloe Vera Juice Benefits
Holistic Nutrition and Health

Anonymous said...

I rather like the orange tornado.

Anonymous said...

there are some bakers who need that

Anonymous said...

on #6- are those 2 fingers pointing at the mistake?? wtf was that cake SUPPOSED to be?!?

(I read your infomercials aloud to myself, too.)

-Barbara Anne

Arlene said...

Lol I have never laughed so hard in my life. And I always seem to read these late at night. I can only hope my neighbors dont think I am a hyena and come looking lol. Hilarious post!

Craig said...

'Elibateh' reminds me of Bill Cosby's 'dentist' story.

Could writing with icing be so taxing to the capabilities of wreckerators that spell-checking in real time is out of the question?

I could see Sandra Lee being a major customer of Ice Out, except that she sees nothing wrong with the stuff she 'makes'.

"You know, Sandra, you can tint it to match your decor. And you can add stuff to it, like vanilla. Of course, if you don't have vanilla, just use turpentine -- your vict... er, 'guests' will never know the difference, proles that they are."

sinema izle said...

Take back that stupid thing you said with ICE-OUT

BADKarma! said...

"Ice-Out". Best. Nonexistent. Informercial. Product. EVAR!!!

Sally said...

Funny, how I'm conditioned to read this whole page in an infomercial voice LOL

Classic Steve said...

Who else think it looks like censored swearing? "Happy **** birthday, ************!"

Tricia L said...

The bakery I use to frequent would take the special order cakes that people didn't pick up and sell them by the slice. If a piece said "hday Elizab" that was fine with me. The slices with roses were especially coveted. They made more money selling them by the slice than the whole cake cost. Certainly more than a cake smeared with ICE-OUT.

Daisy said...

Hilarious post as always, but the "Elibateh" cake had me concerned that someone with dyslexia is making a living out there decorating cakes. Surely someone out there who has no learning disability and has decent penmanship yet has trouble landing a job in these tough times should be applying for a cake decorating position!!!

notemily said...

mmm, Martinelli's.

leesa said...

I just saw a laptop on epic-win and I have a feeling you'll love it - what with your affection for all things steam punk!

http://epicwinftw.com/2010/12/03/awesome-photos-one-heck-of-a-lap-top/

Leesa

Kaija said...

The first cake is actually really gorgeous, except for that mistake.

word verification: trogulas. Sounds like something that you would need Ice Out to cover up. It also sounds like the name of a character in the failed movie that my friend and I once tried to make, but that's unrelated...

cakemaster said...

I love the sparkling cider next to the one giant cookie. 'Cause nothing goes better with an oversized cookie.

Alex C. said...

Dorina's cake looks like it was pretty before they applied Sparkle Spackle over whatever was there before.

Anonymous said...

@Classic Steve: I had the same exact thought when I saw that cake... "Happy F***ing Birthday, A**h*le" ... Like maybe from a wife to her philandering husband. LOL!

~Kathy D~

WV: stifigod ... what the cheating husband's girlfriends call him.