Thursday, December 16, 2010

The 12 Wrecks Of Christmas

Thursday, December 16, 2010

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

A choking hazard in a treeeee.

On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Two buttered bells,
And a choking hazard in a tree.

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Three whipped ghosts,
(And by "whipped," I mean they do what their wives tell them)
Two buttered bells,
And a study on the Heimlich for me.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a bunch of crap in a gross tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

♪ Fiiiiiiiive molded 'shrooms! ♪
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a lot of flotsam in a gross tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Six pounds of icing,
♪ Fiiiiive fungusesssses! ♪
Four day-glo Santas,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And seriously, did you see all the stuff in that tree?

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪ Fiiiiive Penicillin-bearing spores!! ♪ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a plastic coated nasty icing tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Eight runny egg yolks,
(WHY?!?)
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♪♫ Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!! ♪ ♫ ♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And is anyone even still reading this?

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Nine kiwis riding... reindeer? Swans? Thestrals?
Eight I-think-he-hates-me,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♬ ♫ Fiiiiive really fun guys!!! ♪ ♫ ♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a beer.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Eleven candy canes that kinda look like Slimey the Worm,

See?

Ten piles of nothing (You FORGOT?!),
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight runny egg yolks,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫ ♬ ♪♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus! ♪ ♫♩♩♫ ♬ ♬
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a reason to have the ER on speed dial.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

Thirteen TWELVE fake flowers,
Eleven Slimey Canes,
Ten lots a' nothing,
Nine kiwis riding,
Eight counts of salmonella,
Seven snowmen melting,
Six pounds of icing,
♫♭♫ ♬ ♪♫♭♫♩♬ ♫ Fiiiiiiive SUPER fun guys!!! ♪ ♫♭♩♫♩♫ ♬ ♬ ♭♫
Four Santa blobs,
Three whipped ghosts,
Two buttered bells,
And a Cake Wrecks Calendar
for me!


Thanks to Michelle, Amanda C., Kyle C., Cheyanne, Joel S., Georgia T., Erin T., Monica K., NWM, Monica B., Jana S., & Jon D., who have been counting down the days 'til they could endorse a fine product like the 2011 Cake Wrecks Wall Calendar. [nodding earnestly] It's true. Take my word for it. No need to ask any of them. Or even check to see if they are, in fact, real people.

-------------------------------------------------

CCC Day #4


Best Friends Animal Society operates the nation's largest sanctuary for abused and abandoned animals, from cats and dogs to rabbits and horses. Their mission is to create a world with no more homeless pets. Period.

Click here to donate your dollar!
«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 322   Newer›   Newest»
The Boob Nazi said...

Awesome.

Anonymous said...

So funny! love it!

Jaime Wilkins said...

Thank you for your mention of Thestrals and Slimey the worm.

Junebug said...

LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE!!!!!!

super funny and clever, par for the course!!
hahahahah love the 'beer' bit, still cracking up over that!!

Carolyn said...

You truly outdid yourself today! Great work and kuddos on slipping in a Harry Potter reference, not easy to work into Christmas cakes I imagine. You never fail to make me smile, chuckle, LMAO at 9:30am

heather said...

Wow. I never comment, but this is spectacular! Very well done.

Ice Queen said...

Hahahahaha!

My new favourite Christmas carol!

Now to go find those five really fun guys...

the cape on the corner said...

hilarious post-i like that you changed up the words each time. seriously i thought those reindeers with the kiwi's were skeletongs from dia de los muertos or something!

jen said...

pure genius! Thanks for the laughs!!

flying gargoyle said...

Fiiiiiive agaricus bisporus!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
(See? We were still reading!)
Thanks, as always, Jen & Co.!

Catmania said...

My new favorite Christmas carol! I got my Cakerecks mini-wall calendar the other day & it is awesome - and $5 to the animal shelter for me..........

Veronica said...

If you donate on Best Friends Animal Society's webpage, they DOUBLE your donation!! :) Any amount!!

Leigh Duncan said...

Ho Ho Ho! I chuckled at the first, and was belly-laughing at the end. Thanks for brightening my day.

Pooh's Pics said...

And a beer.....In a treeeeee!
Where's my Touc?

Karyl said...

That was fantastic! (And I'm going to be humming that tune all day...)

Anonymous said...

Awesome! I was just teaching my 5 year old about the traditional version of the "12 Days of Christmas" yesterday.

I definitely kept reading and loved how you kept changing the lines--far more entertaining than the stodgy original.

I think my all-time favorite version would be the Bob Rivers Comedy Corp version.

Anonymous said...

You are too freakin' funny. Well done. I love this site.

angelalim said...

Well this is a wee bit frustrating. I didn't have the means to participate last year and was rather excited that I do have the means this year. I set up and loaded my Paypal and everything. But the 4 charities you've given so far don't have Paypal options :( and I don't exactly have a credit card.
Maybe I should just pool the dollars I would have spent on the others when you DO put up a pay-through-Paypal link? Or maybe I've been blind and you've actually put up a Paypal link I didn't see? Well? WELL?? o_O (that's a meaningful look, doncha know) (ps. i love you site!)

P&B said...

This was the best post ever! We sat and sang the song as we read down the page.

Cathy said...

Brilliant post! Have you been working on that all year?

Tricia N said...

Please please pleas get Jen (#1) to sing this! Only she could do this beautiful tribute to Santa being waterboarded in icing justice.

wv. rertas: the sound a small child makes when choking on the first cake.

HPom said...

Thanks for the Canadian Bob and Doug shout-out with the beer.....a true Christmas carol classic!

Trevor said...

LOL this is great. But, Jen, I'm confused. On that last cake, did YOU cross out the one flower to make 12, or was that really on the cake. Please tell me it was the former. Please?

Anonymous said...

Yes I'm still reading! THIS IS AWESOME! You rock CW!

Trevor said...

Oh, and PS, nice shout out to the Bob and Doug version of this song!

Danger Boy said...

Musically excellent, funny, a great callback to the yoopers, and some awesome wrecks. I give it two thumbs up.

Giana said...

FA-LALALA-FABULOUS! What a great post! I was laughing so hard by the time I reached five super fun guys...takes me back to middle school science. My 3 yr old son saw the candy cane cake and said "Mommy I want a spider web cake like that!" I told him they where candy canes and he just said "Oh" and walked away. LOL!

Morgi said...

#6 is the reason I shouldn't read Cake Wrecks at work. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I think the "reindeer" look like Zero, Jack Skellington's dog.

Kelli said...

I LOVE it!!!

M. Guziewicz said...

Was I still reading? I sang the whole friggin thing!

Lisa said...

The Slimey the Worm cake is awesome!!!

Sam said...

BEST HOLIDAY SONG EVER!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The funniest and best ever post.
Thank you for a good laugh after a very long night at work.

Queen Julian XIII said...

Bravo! Bravo!!! Can #1 record this for us to add to our Seasonal Collections?

And those reindeer/thestrals kinda look like Zero, Jack's dog in Nightmare Before Christmas...

phantomessj said...

Love the "fun guy" bit! Unfortunately, that's my dad's favorite joke...

And Slimey!! I've nearly forgotten about him!

Fabulous post, as always. Made my day so much more fun!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, guys! And thanks for the Bob and Doug MacKenzie reference. This post made my day and put me into the Christmas spirit(s)!
Merry Christmas, eh, hosers!

from a Canadian Fan

SuperCampCook said...

HaHaHa...this is my new favorite holiday song! I saw your calendars in the mall yesterday. Walked past the booth and thought "oh, that should be a cake wreck" and it WAS. Sweetness : )

TornadoBaby said...

I was compelled to sing the entire post. Not sure how it turned out...

And PLEASE tell me the "beer" that appeared in the first day spot was a reference to the Canadian version of this song!

~Jenn H.

Barb said...

Bahaha, thestrals.

Angie said...

I sang every verse! (Even tho I couldn't pronounce one of the 'shroom ones)

Love. This.

angelalim said...

Argh, stupid typo. I meant to say "I love your site!" Although, I must admit I DO love you, site...*wink* erm...yeah...*clears throat*
so...yeah? how about em Paypal links?

Donkaloosa said...

You and John have WAY too much time on your hands! And we love it!

Jay said...

Best post ever.

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

This was wonderful. Please make sure it is in your next book! This rates right up there at the top with your recent Star Wars/Trek et al post!! Truly epic!

Anonymous said...

The strange white creature on the kiwi one resembles Zero from The Nightmare Before Christmas to me... which doesn't make any more sense.

jilly-bear said...

That's great! (And yes, we were still reading!) :) Happy Holidays to both of you!

Karen Valinda said...

Hey! You dropped the ball (or flotsam tree) on #8 - I was all psyched to see what you would come up with next! Of course we were all still reading, please give us some credit as loyal followers, as if!
And amazingly, #10 doesn't load on my computer ?!?

Jessica said...

The ones with the kiwis? Sorta look like greyhounds. Or Zero, from Nightmare before Christmas. Which sorta fits in with the Christmas theme. Sorta.

Jessica

krystina said...

those raindeer/thestrals looked like the Star Wars robot soldiers...you know what I mean, I'm sure. From the first episodes, not the last ones. Any body with me??

Brilliantpants said...

Oh My God, I desperately want a birthday cake covered in cute little Slimey the Worms! Look at his happy little face!

jennl777 said...

As a child of the 80s I must thank you for the shout-out to those denizens of The Great White North, Bob & Doug McKenzie. Sadly, I had to go to YouTube to show a younger colleague the B&D version of the song because she had NO idea what I was talking about. Kids today...

FANTASTIC post!!!

Allyson said...

THAT WAS AWESOMENESS!

Abby said...

I just spent the last 2 days at a fungal conference (no joke) and so I especially enjoyed the fungi jokes.

Wild Cakes said...

PLEASE..... record this song and sell the MP3 somehow to raise more charity funds! I'd spend a couple of bucks to be able to play this on my iPod!!!

Tori said...

Love the "and a Beer" reference :) Now I must track down that version of the song someplace.

Lynnetta said...

That was amazing. Good job with the Harry Potter reference and "a beer". Your wit was not lost on me :)

Hermione said...

Your references to Slimey, Harry Potter, and particularly the McKenzie Brothers were particularly amazing. Thank you for making my Finals Week less horrible!

jankie98 said...

WE'RE NOT WORTHY!! hahahahaha This the BEST!

A said...

Made me snort-laugh! Really good example of why I even bother to get on the internet these days...

bassgirl said...

"And is anyone even still reading this?"

Yes yes YES!! Loved every creative word of it.....and the beer!

happygeek said...

I sang this to my kids this morning.
They LOVED it.
Me too.

bassgirl said...

If it's OK to post a link here, this is an animated version of the 12 Days of Christmas, Canadian style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4

Michelle P said...

Hilarious!!!

And who among the readers was NOT singing along?

thesacredandtheprofane said...

Best. Post. EVAH!!!

You are so my hero. I would say shero but that word has negative connotations for me. Maybe we'll just go with SUPERSTAR(!) instead.

And of course I was singing it in my head the whole way through. Awesome. You rock my world.

Autumn said...

You seriously outdid yourself! That was hilarious! I actually sung the whole thing in my head as I read along. :D (PS. Loved the Bob & Doug reference!)

Nomarella said...

WOW - what an excellent post! Your dedication to ruining Christmas songs parallels only that of wreckerators' dedication to ruining Christmas. Well done!

WV: latorbef. A cross between an alligator and a cow. Considered a delicacy in many cultures, it's beef with a bite.

Stacy G. said...

I was actually singing along by the time I got to the Eighth Day. Thank you for the morning giggles!

Tricia L said...

Audio ... we need audio!!!
Priceless.

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Angalalim,

So here's the thing: First Giving doesn't work with PayPal. Which is stinky. However, First Giving allows donations as low as a dollar and they are relatively cheap. As a contrast, giving a dollar through PayPal costs about 32 cents which is also stinky. At this point, I would wait until we do Charity Water, which allows PayPal, and give the whole $12 there. Or you might be able to go directly to the charity websites though I don't think any of them accept less than $10.

Confused yet? Yeah, me too.

Thanks for being awesome everybody!

john

Anonymous said...

Applause!!!
mocking

BADKarma! said...

"...Eight Runny Egg Yolks..." AND an amoeba! How could you forget the amoeba! Or maybe it's a slime mold...

WV - noney: 9 out of 10 Guy Fieri's agree, these wrecks are NONEY!!!

Duessa said...

This was the BEST.

Gail said...

*wipes away the tears from laughing so hard* Oh, THANK you so very much for this!

I agree. Thestrals all the way. And the fungus jokes - totally took me back to high school...in a good way.

ER on speed dial...and a beer...salmonella...

Seriously, I'm going to be thinking of this and laughing all day.

leannwoo said...

You had me cracking up through the whole post! Well played Jen! Well played!

Anonymous said...

Cool! Another song for "Cake Wrecks: the Musical!" This was awesome!
I must admit that I thought the mushrooms were cute- they look like meringue cookies. But the Yule log they were on, Yikes!

Sara R said...

Love it! I had to sing through the WHOLE stinkin' thing in my head!

Hungarican Chick said...

I think this calls for another one of your delightful music videos, is what I think.

togetherforgood said...

Seriously funny stuff. :)

Shannon said...

That was hysterical!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

Zombie Edward said...

I was totally singing this the entire time I read the post. I loved how the tree and mushrooms kept changing. :)

Deirdre said...

Completely awesome! Thestrals, slimey and beer! I second the request for an audio version for my iPod--that would be on my most-played list. :)

Mrs. Howard said...

And a beer...in a treeeeeeeeeee!!!

Bob and Doug for the win.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha!!! that made my day- and I read to the end!!
Go Bob and Doug and your BEER!
Diane
diane7@rogers.com

Flartus said...

Jen, you are brilliant.

(So is John, who I assume had a hand in this genius work of musical inspiration?)

I loved all your synonyms for "crap in a treeeee...." Happy Chrismakwanzakuh!

MadTigerKitty said...

You guys are killing this month!! I now have another favorite post:)

Loo-E Loo-I said...

That. Was. Way. Too. Hilarious!

#1: Christmas light bulbs??? Why not just put a strand of lights on it and plug it in?

#2: Patooie!

#3: Lets see...snowmen on yellow snow? Looks like the one on the left is holding one of those swizzle-stick swords...O.o

#4: It's The Situation in a Santa suit!

#5: A yule log with mushrooms. O.o

#6: Santa is supposed to get stuck in the chimney, not a tree! Maybe he'd look just as funny "stuck" in #5.

#7: They almost look like peeps.

#8: Ewwwwwww.

#9: I don't know what they are, but they've got a tree growing on their backs. I think if I drink enough beer and eat enough of those mushrooms I'll understand their meaning.

#10:

#11: Slimey!

#12: I bet it's a CCC (patooie). Oooh and they used ribbon too.

wv: dayindi: Too many of those 'shrooms will make you dazyindi head.

Tracy said...

I love your blog but never comment. You got me with the beer (...in a tree)!
Thanks for all the laughs!

Lauren said...

I read on a reader, but made a point to get to the site to comment and say... I almost just peed my pants. Very clever and good and even better that you left out 10 and gave yourself a beer.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post! I sang along the whole time. When will a recorded version be coming to iTunes??

I have to wonder out loud if the maker of cake #5 has ever seen a proper bûche de nöel. That thing is a giant blob of poop-colored icing with a jar of sprinkles dumped on it.

wv: aithy. My stomach was a little aithy after ingesting some plastic flotsam from cake #1.

Summer S said...

JEN!!!!! Your cleverness knows no bounds. I am all squishy inside over your Bob & Doug reference, eh. Geez, I am totally craving a jelly donut...

But what I thought was REALLY funny, was that I didn't just READ the post, I SANG it to the tune ALL THE WAY TO THE END.

Oh yeah, and special props for scratching out the 13th poinsettia.

You make a lot of people very happy, I hope Santa is extra good to you this year!

megstro said...

This is my favorite post ever. I really like how things were reworded so it didn't get redundant.

Linda said...

Among all your many hilarious posts, that was surely one of the very, very best! Laughed till tears were running down my cheeks and the dog was looking at me funny.

Alison said...

I have never laughed so hard...

Joanna said...

I giggled out loud all the way through it....and now I'll have the song stuck in my head for the next four days. :-)

Johnamatron said...

And a beer... Good job MacKenzie Brothers

Jonathan & Jennifer said...

I appreciated the Bob & Doug McKenzie reference! That's my four-year old's favorite version of "12 Days of Christmas."
Jennifer

Kim said...

My favorite post of the year. And that's saying a lot. Truly LOL with my daughter all the way through. Thanks for that.

Stephanie said...

That was pretty amazing. I actually really truly did laugh out loud at that one. Awesome job, y'all.

~flying gurl~ said...

snorted on the slimey worm candy cane cake....BRAVO!

Pamela said...

Every single person on the internet should go to your site everyday for their slice of humor. It would insure a least one good laugh no matter what was going in their lives. As a loyal Canadian fan I did read/sing to the very end and enjoyed the changes. You have inspired me to find a charity in my home town that I could give a few bucks to. Merry Christmas to you and your fans

Jessica Marie said...

I think I have just died a little...
that was amazing...and after I read it I got some of the other office girls to come look and we all sang your CakeWreaks song to the rest of the office!
Spic-frickin-tacular!!!!
Kisses

Anonymous said...

This is a hunch, but I'd bet that the baker for the 9th day of Christmas was feeling more like the Nightmare Before Christmas because they could almost pass for Zero the dog.

-CareBear

Jan said...

I not only read it, I was singing along with you! Very very funny. My big guy Sam is also extremely good with funny lyrics to well-known songs, and I still laugh after 6 years of marriage. - Jan

Anne-with-an-e said...

I knew I shouldn't have started trying to skip the "repetitions" in each verse. You caught me there!

On an entirely unrelated note, the actual creator behind Sandra Lee's disastrous Kwanzaa and Chanukah cakes has confessed: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denise-vivaldo/kwanzaa-cake-sandra-lee-hanukkah-cake_b_797165.html. It's well worth a read for an insight into Sandra Lee's world, where truth turns out to be even stranger than fiction, and for the real reason why she stuffed marshmallows inside that Chanukah cake.

Amanda said...

Fantastic!

Kelly's Korner said...

SOOOO FUNNY!!! I laughed (and sang in my head) through the whole thing! You are hilarious! I have to tell you though, as funny as those mushrooms are, I actually made some a while back and they are DELISH!!! Meringue goodness. :)

Seenoht said...

Best. Post. Ever.

Well done!

msyendor said...

The worm cake better be spice cake.

wv: Innati -- the signs are there, cleverly hidden in the cakes. Find them before times runs out.

Anonymous said...

I think this has to be one of my favorite posts ever, and that's saying something! The thestral part was definitely the best, followed by the "fun guys" line. Nerdy humor!

Anonymous said...

Jen, you are amazing. Where I am left speachless, you are able to go on, and on, and on. I'm so glad - otherwise I'd miss out on crawling back on my chair each morning, LOL. Norine

Casey said...

My wife and I got Married at Best Friends Animal Society, at the Angel's Landing amphitheater, in Kanab UT. It is very beautiful there. We donate to Best Friends every year.

ladycrim said...

The Slimey Canes made me LOL. Love it!

SaRa said...

Jen & Co. please oh please oh please can we have this in a recorded audio format!

Laura said...

Bahahaha one of your best yet :)

Anonymous said...

Coo-roo-coo-coo coo-coo-coo-coo! And a beer (in a tree).
Sandra

Lisa said...

I think this is the best one yet!! I totally sang along, and, yes, I was still reading the post.

protojew62 said...

Your best blog yet! And I like Slimy the worm! :)

Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

I liked when you switched to the Bob and Doug McKenzie version... "And a Beer."

Anonymous said...

fucaketastic!

Costumeholic said...

Oh I love it! I was singing the whole time. You have to record it and post it, or else I will!

Auntie J said...

This is even more hilarious because my husband is doing a "12 Days of Christmas" gift-giving thing for me this year. Love it!

TortugaRachel said...

ROFL

I love the changing lines!

curegirl0421 said...

I sang the entire thing! I loved the crossed-out-due-to-nonconformity poinsetta. :) Awesome!!

Carol said...

Love it. Absolutely LOVE it. Kept killing me with the last line of each verse. Great job Jen!

Amy said...

I am positive those Kiwi were riding Zero the ghost dog. Just not sure why!

Kelly said...

Best. Christmas Carol. Ever.

Marie said...

That was hilarious! Thank you.

lisadh said...

Well done! LOL....

Anonymous said...

absolutely hilarious. Made my day butter! I mean, better!

T said...

debating still: do I like more Day 10? or the comment "is anyone still reading this?"

neicee said...

Thanks for this Christmas present! 'Twas Festively Fantabulous!

Anonymous said...

Bravo!! Pure genius!!

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest thing I will read this whole holiday season, without a doubt. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Lori W. said...

Totally hilarious. I'm cracking up. This is just as good as the 12 Pains of Christmas. The only thing better would be if you guys actually sang it.

Beth said...

LOVE IT. Really, the fungi puns alone would have done it for me, but this was insanely awesome.

bingomelissa said...

O.K. number nine sure look like kiwis with chicken nuggets from a Happy Meal..maybe I am seeing it wrong

Shay said...

Bob & Doug, Sesame Street and Harry Potter? Thanks!

Stay said...

It sure would be swell to get an audio track to go alongside that HILARIOUS post... go on, it's Christmas!

Sarah B said...

Thank you cake wrecks! A good chuckle. I especially loved the "beer" referencing Bob & Doug McKenzie's album Big White North. At least I hope that's why it was there...
For those of you who don't know what the Canucks on here are talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2oPio60mK4&feature=related

Anonymous said...

OMG hilarious! Laughing out loud at my desk. The first tree with candy in it just kept getting better and better. I am going to re read to laugh again. One of my favorite!!!!

Katherine S said...

When do we get the video with Number 1 singing along!?

Jennifer from MA said...

Best submission EVER! Love the boug and Doug 12 Days reference. Brilliant!

Little Lovables said...

AHHHAHAHAH!!!

So hilarious, "I think he hates me"

Anonymous said...

That is the best one so far. Words fail me how awesome your blog is! Love it!

Michelle said...

Now I have B&D's "five golden tuques" running in my head AND I have Sandra Lee cake mystery solved. My day cannot get any better!

Anonymous said...

So funny. And the Slimey the Worm visual was awesome (as was the crossed-out thirteenth flower).

Felice said...

Too funny. Btw I purchased your calendar whilst I was on holidays in Australia a month ago.

The Writing Muse said...

I got the Cake Wrecks calendar and I laughed so hard I cried....Thanks!

cath c said...

my son is still laughing.....

Alexandra said...

Not only was I still reading, but I sang it.. OUT LOUD!

scbeachchik said...

I love this song again, THANKS!

Kate said...

Way too funny! I have to share this with lots of people now. The words had me laughing hard. :)

Linny said...

This is FANTASTIC!!!!

Side note: The Cake Wrecks Calendar is on mental_floss today!
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/76999

E. Quinlan said...

I was still reading, and I think they are definitely thestrals. :) Thanks for hours of amusement while I'm snowed in!

mladybright said...

Oh dear. 12?? 12!! 12...

1. wow - tree.
2. Buttered... ccc - p'tooey!
3. Heimlich... rofl - love the changes in the listing.
4. Didn't realize day-glo was supposed to be edible?
5. Oh... oh... oh... I WANT I WANT I WANT the shrooms!!
6. Seriously, head first? Sorry kids, Santa was drowned in the green icing blob.
7. Sadly, Frosty had to go away for another year.
8. I bet those egg yolks are a deliciously yummy lemon. And... Yes.
9. BWahahahahaaaaa! Thestrals! *snort* I thought they were Jack Skellington's dog... (beer, I'll go for, with my funguys)
10. Awww, I love Slimey the worm. He's my favorite.
11. Eh? Gift? huh.
12. Oh, baby, oh, baby --- you're sending me a CW calendar??!!! Wahoo!!

(ok, that last one -- did you photoshop it?)

This one is right up there with the Penguins and a loud squeek. Thumbs up!!

~~Di

Anonymous said...

haha! Love it. The kiwis riding Thestrals was the best. :-)

Nashvillesugapie

TyrrasW said...

Brilliant. Just. Brilliant.

The Laws' said...

We are *so* singing this at my family's Christmas Eve program!
<3 <3 <3

Brian said...

I totally agree with the thestrals :)

SKQ1979 said...

Awesome!!!!!!

stolen-moments-photography said...

This post is packed with awesome. My hubby and I found ourselves singing along and laughing like loons the entire time. Go Bob and Doug "and a beer"!!!! LOL

Phil said...

Hell, I had to sing it out loud!

Especially love the five fun guys!

Brilliant.

Cheers from Calgary, Canada

Phil Seaker
(BTW - my sister lives in Orlando)

jo said...

Hilarious!! I love the new (ever changing lyrics). Amazing you had cake samples to represent each number (except for 10) and the modified 12 (with the crossed out 13th flower--brilliant!)

never mind the plastic flotsam choking hazards on the tree--do I see glass ornaments and light bulbs??

this is definitely a favorite post. Slimey the worm! love the cake mockup. Slimey looks so happy in the icing.

Jennifer said...

YAY! A Harry Potter reference for me and a Sesame Street reference for my 2 year old! Who, by the way, shouts "CAKES!" every time I look at your blog with her... I'm truly concerned... Either she's a genius or I make really REALLY ugly cakes!

wv - quesse: A short test in a topic specific paragraph form (Quiz + Essay). "Today in school, I got an A+ on my quesse about the greatest Cake Wrecks ever discovered."

jo said...

Hilarious!! I love the new (ever changing lyrics). Amazing you had cake samples to represent each number (except for 10) and the modified 12 (with the crossed out 13th flower--brilliant!)

never mind the plastic flotsam choking hazards on the tree--do I see glass ornaments and light bulbs??

this is definitely a favorite post. Slimey the worm! love the cake mockup. Slimey looks so happy in the icing.

Heather said...

AWESOME!!!!!! When do we get the recorded version?

Anonymous said...

My 12 year old son thinks #12 looks like it is wearing a sweater.

He thought this post was hysterical.

Jen's humor = 12yo boy humor

<3 you, Jen

Allison said...

ROFL! One of my favorite posts yet. I love the "beer" line and then the "piles of nothing". My favorite, though, is the reference to the "I'm a really fun guy" joke. LOL

Pauline said...

The Santas look like they are sitting on sprinkle covered toilets...and the kiwi/reindeer thing.....still scratching my head.

Anonymous said...

You caught me on the 10. Brilliant!

emily said...

I don't have time to see if others said this, but... DON'T THOSE LOOK LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS ON THE REINDEER, um, THINGS?! What in the world is going on there?

saluer: "If someone looks sick, I might say 'salut'. If it's because of these cakes, I must say 'saluer!'"

GrammaR said...

Personally, I prefer the ten days of nothing! Those other days were sure to give nightmares and a trip to the er.

Tori said...

Hahahaha!

When my 2 year old daughter saw the first one, she said "That's a yucky cake?"

Yes my child.

Also, I did read the whole thing. Nicely done :)

Anonymous said...

Meringue mushrooms are a perfectly traditional way to decorate your buche de Noel (along with toasted coconut "dead leaves" and powdered sugar "snow"), and those are well made. The cake itself, on the other hand, is a disaster...

Pilgrim said...

Yes yes I read it all too!!!
And now i have it going through my head, probably for the rest of the day, thanks bunches....
you guys are great!
This is one of my favorite sites every, you always bring a smile to my face even when I am having a tough day-- THANK YOU.

D.B. Echo said...

My guess for day 9 was "Battle Droids", but Thestrals work too!

WVW: redangli: a dangly bit that you thought you had pulled off your clothing or nose, but turns out to still be there.

Beth said...

You have truly outdone yourselves!!!!!!

tarichuck said...

This might be my new favorite Christmas song. Thank you :)

StefRobrts said...

OMG, I think that was the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site, and that's saying a lot! Happy Festivus to all of you!

CakeChick from SC said...

I just wanted to say that I truely do look forward to your posts daily! It's a laugh for sure at least once a day - Y'all crack me up!

PhotoGrace said...

*Mwa* Belissimo! And a beer. Love, love, LOVE it.

megan said...

kiwis riding thestrals! love it. they could be friends with the baby carrot jockeys. :)

Maureen said...

*Me standing, applauding furiously*
Awesome!
Bravo!
Well done!

Aliza said...

Love how you worked Bob & Doug McKenzie's beer into that one! (ignore the cheesy pictures, but their full version is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACApP94ei14)

And I had Jen #1's voice in my head as I read/sang it :)

I will never look at candy canes the same again. And you seemed to rather ignore the yule "log" but rather enjoy its decorations ;) I, too, liked how you kept changing the lines... VERY amusing.

PS What did that poinsetta do to you? And... are you sure it's fake. Given they're toxic, I sure hope so!!

Jason said...

Ten lots of nothing!

I can't wait to find someone recording this thing for real.

Jennifer said...

Love the thestral reference. Love the slimey reference.

The "thestrals" actually look like Zero from Nightmare Before Christmas... with what look to be chicken nuggets (as a previous commenter commented).

bookbug said...

This post is why I read cakewrecks. You are hilarious.

Annette said...

This must be your best one yet, how fun, I love it! You have outdone yourself! Now off to donate to the charity....

LeAnna said...

That was the best Christmas song ever! I'm always amazed at the blog writer's sense of humor because they always make me laugh.

debo said...

you seriously rock, thank you so much for the laffs!!!

Anonymous said...

I laughed so much all the way through that, thank you for the entertainment! I will be showing this to everyone lol

LN said...

YES, I sang all the way through... and giggled madly.

furpurrson said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Helpless. On the floor.

Teri said...

You literally had me rolling with laughter (more than usual, when I read your blog). Thank you! I needed the laugh today.
Teri Bruce, Riverside, CA

Tuesday's Child said...

I couldn't see #10. Was it taking a break at Epcot? Or was it the font?

Elizabeth Douglas said...

Your mentioning of Thestrals and Slimey the worm prove, once again, that you guys are supermegafoxyawesomehot.

Oh, and the kiwis are obviously riding on Jack Skellington's dog, Zero.

Amy said...

Were there still skins on those kiwi slices?!

Alison's Book Marks said...

So freakin' funny!

"Fiiiiive molded hallucinogenics!!"

Ashwa said...

This made me giggle. A lot. Thanks so much!

catchat105 said...

Video! Video! Vi-de-o!

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