Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Lesson in Español

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Hola! Hello! I'm Dora! Soy Dora! Can you say Dora? Muy bueno! Will you join me on my cake adventure today? Soy un mucho kaka adventuroso el manana? Si! Vamos!


Oh no! Boots has escaped from my backpack and is lost in the woods! El sabatos escapada en la foresta. Will you help me find him?

...

Great! Let's put on our magic masks that will help us find Boots! El findos de monkey!


Perfecto! Can you say "serial killer?" голяма работа! Now we can see through the trees and find Boots! El seeya de fromage en ravioli!

Look! There he is! Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!

C'mon, Boots! Jump back into my backpack! We can continue our adventure! Donde esta el gato caliente gordita en la bicyclette!

Oh no! Boots got scared and ran further into the woods! We need to find him! Mondo monkey lookey lookey!

Hurry! Que mucha don Toyota Hyundai von Schmellingberg! Senor nacho libre des sombrero el Salma Hayek? Dos frijoles! Mucho grande!

Hey! There's Boots now! He's made it through the woods and is flying a plane back home! El esta makey no sense at allos! Let's catch a ride!


Thanks for the ride, Boots! It's great to have you back home. Willkommen to los hermana! We wouldn't have found you without the help from our viewers at home! Son tan estupidos!


I'm so happy! Feliz cumpleaños!

Come back next week, mi amigos, when Boots and I go to night school! Soy en dos tres dental hygienists! Adios!

Por favor don esta el Tori, Lauren H., Rachel W., Kat D., Danielle B., e Dan H. Muy grande el biadorenos le trejamos via monkeytown! (As far as I know,
"biadorenos le trejamos" translates into nothing at all... just to save you time on Google translate.)

Update!

John's helpful translation guide.
Hola- I'm pretty sure that means hello.
Backpack- That's a type of sack you wear over your shoulders.
Baguette- A type of bread.
Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas.
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.
Anonymous said...

When I first started reading this, as a former Spanish teacher, I thought, "That poor girl used the wrong online translator. How embarassing."

The further along I got, the more the tears ran down my face. Total awesomeness. Makes me wish I taught Spanish still so that I could have my kiddos translate today's post.

Flartus said...

Gee, I wonder what it was that scared Boots back into the jungle? Hmmmm... Sacre diablo blanco! Schnell, schnell!

Punk said...

Um. Spanish, French, garbled Russian (killer robot?) as well as some of the most exquisite Spanglish ever seen in this Spanglish world? Dora has never been more international!

And scary. Scary Russian Killer Robot Dora.

Anonymous said...

Muy buena, amiga. Vous etes manifique!

Ashley said...

um, jen, i think you're foreign language skills could use some brushing up on...

lol

Renee said...

what? No translation? I'm bummed!

Jen B said...

That last cookie cake would give a child nightmares. Her face looks inside out.
Wonderful foreign language lesson, though.

Elly said...

Amazing!
You got in Eddie Izzard, Captain Jack Sparrow, Nacho Libre and even snuck in some Pennsyvania Dutch (Willlommen!!?!).
Fantastic! :)

Dana said...

I seriously almost vomited. Not from the grossness of the "cakes" (like usual) but your Spanish! -and german and mexican, and french, and random Jen-ise. Nacho libra! I'm still laughing!

Bethany said...

HAHA!! I love linguistic free-styling!

L.Jo said...

Por favor mantanegense allejadro de los puertas. :-)

Amanda Mac said...

I do believe the wreckerator got confused on the last one... the customer wanted Dora, not a blow-up doll.

KittyKat said...

As someone who grew up in a family where most of the jokes were language-based, and "punnishment" was sitting around the family dinner table late at night making multi-lingual hilarities (including but not limited to Latin, Russian, French, German, and Spanish), this post warmed the cockles of my funny bone.

Trevor said...

Oh, thank you so much for this laugh today. It has really perked me up from where I started the morning. The last cookie? Did you see the Dora Food Network Challenge? Totally has the mouth that Vinnie put on his Dora.

Anonymous said...

It's not Russian! It's Bulgarian for "good job".

word verification: purdlywr.. sounds Welsh.

Tricia L said...

Glad I was alone when I read this or people would have wondered what the cackling was about. Oddly, though, I understood every word with my high school French and Berlitz Spanish (donde est la taverna). Well done, Number 1.

Memo to Jen and john (the hubby of Jen): Pay raise in order for Number 1. Multilingual, can type and sing. Works well with others.

Jedi Meg said...

Ah, thank you for the flashback to many wonderful trips on the Disney monorail!

Please stand clear of the doors!

Fluffy Cow said...

This should be required reading in public schools.

Rachel said...

Your humor never ceases to amaze me! This posts reminds me of the one you wrote using British slang. If I were to ever die from laughter you would be the main suspect in the investigation!

The Boob Nazi said...

This was great. These cakes are so scary!
Also, did you see the Food Network cakes challenge where the Dora head fell off the cake? ay ay ay!

Candace said...

Por favor mantanegense allejadro de los puertas! Now THAT takes me back... not to mention got me in good with my high school spanish teacher who thought my pronunciation was excellent. lol

*sighs* monorails...

Anonymous said...

LOL! Reminds me of Pepe Le Pew cartoons...
"Quelle est? Ah, le belle femme skunk fatale."
"Le purrrr."

Anonymous said...

very funny! even my 10 yr. old got it. :) thanks for starting the day with a laugh!

Courtney C. said...

Hilarious! I loved it! A great way to start off back to school today! (I'm a Spanish minor, so it was very umm...educational? Yeah, lets just go with that!)

Chris Friend said...

Hey, John -

*Everybody* knows that “Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas.” means “Epcot”. Duh!

Emily the Strange said...

Actually, feliz cumpleanos is "happy birthday". (See, I did retain something from two years of university Spanish!) Love the post, though!

Libby said...

I've had it in for Dora ever since my son saw the rainbow episode where THE COLORS ON THE RAINBOW WERE IN THE WRONG ORDER. Then my darling child didn't believe me when I tried to explain diffraction and the actual color order. I had to get a prism to prove that mommy is more credible than cartoon characters. Grrrr....

(I have, however, refrained from showing him the double rainbow video.)

So thank you, Wreckerators, for doing far worse to little big head than I ever could have.

Tracy O said...

Wow, I think I was laughing at the post so hard I forgot to look at the wrecks! I had to scroll back and look again. Am I weird that I read the entire post in Eddie Izzard's voice?
WV: nallyzin - yes, I think I do need some zin after that. What? It's still morning? So?

Sharyn from Superior said...

This reminded me of the Dora spoof SNL did. It's called Maraka, and by the time she starts using the tongue clicking language I'm laughing so hard I'm gasping for breath. It's a perfect complement to this linguistic, uh, word journey.

Here's the link: http://www.hulu.com/watch/1610/saturday-night-live-tv-funhouse

Barbara said...

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas. I love it! I can hear the monorail dudes voice in my head. Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning! :)

Lulu said...

Good God Jen, that was a struggle to read through without crying from laughter. Totally made my day, particularly the random appearance of cyrillic letters :')
Much love as always xD

Anonymous said...

Yo think I vamos a pass out laughing!! Gracias!!

Caroline B said...

Nothing says 'Happy Birthday' like a passenger plane crashing into a ball of flames...

WV - bogeness......heeheehee...

Dani said...

Wow your accent is PERFECT for a gringa (says the super duper white girl)

Clara said...

I cackled out loud when I read your "Spanish". Thanks for a great early morning laugh! I hate having to learn it in school, I've always found it difficult. If only we could learn this instead!

Bree said...

Technically...though I hate to split hairs after this much needed hilarity...

Feliz cumpleaños - Happy Birthday

Feliz navidad - Merry Christmas

Muy Bueno!

Annie said...

Is that character doing gin ups in that one cake=)

Mercy D'souza said...

Ha, I loved that. Too funny. If you still don't know, that last sentence says "Please stay away from the door." I've heard lots of bad Spanish in my time but this was the best I think. I'm still trying to figure it all out.
And I hate Dora. Listening to one of her videos is my idea of torture.

martha said...

me too tears running down my face, literally crying, from laughter this time not the usual crying from "seriously they thought that would be a pretty cake?"


pass the tissue please,

M

Stephanie said...

As someone who regularly speaks an odd mixture of English, French, Italian and Spanish, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Language mash-ups FTW! :D

Anonymous said...

Bueno Bueno Bueno!!!
Muy bien gracias!
Estoy bebiendo muchas grandes casas de bonita!

Karen said...

"Hurry! Que mucha don Toyota Hyundai von Schmellingberg! Senor nacho libre des sombrero el Salma Hayek? Dos frijoles! Mucho grande!"

That pretty much sums it up. XD

Scolex said...

what an amazing cake story! I wish i could also understand spanish.

SzélsőFa said...

as two of the commenters have already said, Feliz cumplean~os is Happy Birthday; Feliz Navidad is for Merry Christmas.
i liked how you managed to incorporate English words and the name of an actress into your *coughs* Spanish.
great post, as per usual.
:)

Steph said...

that last cake is the kind of thing that nightmares are made of. mucho scario! Andele, andele!!!!

Costumeholic said...

"Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!"
You the you in the baguette??? The hel...?
Stick to english, you do it so well (You should google "Dona l'educatrice", it's a spoof on Dora by a Quebec comedian and it is hilarious. I'm sure you'll like it).

Connie Moreno said...

You've done it again...I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying!!!

Anonymous said...

Yo quiero – no, not Taco Bell! – to know the story behind a birthday cake/cookie that involves a plane crashing into a volcano. Seriously.

Hey, the second word in Cyrillic letters is the third person singular of "to work." So Dora's got that goin' for her. :-)

- DB

wv: hystiver, as in, "This linguistic acid trip was hystiverical!"

Keeley said...

As I just returned from Mexico (moving my mother from Guadalajara to Denver, CO if you can believe it), I appreciate your post more than you could know. Every time I tried to speak Spanish, what came out was a mix of German, English, and Spanish. Without the Spanish. Totally pitiful, but I never learned it in school. Te helados!

Love the monkey cake--the "hang in there" just couldn't, could it?

Jamie said...

Maybe you could get a job with the DEA!

Megan D said...

ROFL!! PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS!!! Looove the Disney monorail Spanish thrown in

Jennifer said...

To properly do a Dora post, you must type everything in CAPS... she never speaks below a yell.

Sariah said...

Es muy brilliant. :D
I don't think I could love you guys more.

Just a Mom said...

Poop Adventures? *snort* Kaka or Caca is Spanish slang for feces.

Anne S said...

You can purchase all these cakes and many more wonderful items at our new bakery, Chateau de la Casa Haus!

Just make sure you stand clear of the doors! Vamanos!

Amanda said...

I wish I didn't know that the cake with the plane was supposed to be Madagascar 2. Although, the only recognizable thing on it was the plane.

I hope it didn't land on Dora. Oh wait, yes I do.

Amy said...

Unfortunately, I could hear Dora's shrill voice shouting all of that in my head. Except for the Russian (?) because I can't even imagine what that would sound like.

Cameron said...

For the couple of comments correcting the translation of Feliz cumpleaños...I think John was just being sarcastic to add to the humor...

ladyrazorsharp said...

All the Spanish I remember I learned from Sesame Street. Despite that, this translated very well.

Oh, and be sure to stay clear of the doors. And the Dora wrecks! *shudder*

May said...

Oh dear gods, help me, I'm laughing so hard, I can't breathe.

Anonymous said...

This is simply a-Dora-bull; I can only say...ecties, mi camarones! Buenos manzanillas en su banos!

Selena said...

I love your writing, Jen! I was so interested in the words, I didn't pay much attention to the cakes, lol! I'm going back to take a good look now.
WV: cakeyde Dora es una cakeyde monstruo!

-Sea Nymph- said...

Dora the Explorer- teaching your kids Spanglish since 2000

Suzanne said...

I lived in Miami for a few years, and thanks to my Cuban co-workers and having to deal with Canadians (who all seemed to be from Eastern Europe), I understood this post perfectly!

Ay que rico!

Jodi said...

Love this! I had tears runnign down my face from laughing!

As for Jon's translation:
Feliz cumpleaños- HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Feliz Navidad - Merry Christmas

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!! Best episode of Dora ever!!! I love all the Spanglish, Spanish, French, and Russian. She's so international these days.

Maru said...

I feel like I just read a poorly translated Chinese instruction manual into multiple languages! Hahaha, Dora would be proud.

Jodi said...

This reminds me of the SNL TV Fun House "Maraka" spoof on Dora. If you have not seen it, do google search for it. (The NBC.com video is the clearest).

Rascalmom said...

Why, oh why does Boots have a uterus? Maybe that's why he looks so psychotic....

Liz said...

Thanks again for the laughs Jen!

And only three people felt compelled to correct your "translations" - I was expecting "Epcot el Segundo"!! People - it's HUMOR!

Good lord...

Anonymous said...

I never say this but OMG!!!

I have tears running down my face and am choking from the laughter over the 'translations'.

Holy manglish of all nations, Batman, er..Jen!

The cakes are scary enough, just trying to be Dora, but I have to admit I really didn't look at the wrecks. I was too astounded by the text.

~~Di

wv - coulnest -- this post was the mucho coulnest of all.

JulieLeto said...

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea.

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

What's up with the "Hang in Here" cake?

Amapola said...

Actually, feliz cumpleaños = Epcot too ☺☻☺☻☺

WV: felmodae. I fell off mo daebed laughing por este posto
¡Feliz navidad!

Robyn said...

O.M.G. My poor sons have been scarred for life, seeing their mother nearly die choking on a gummi bear while reading this post...

WV: whobiano- Not sure what it means but I'm pretty sure it belongs in the post somewhere...

lisadh said...

OMG...can't breathe...laughing so hard...hilarious!!

Mrs Mom said...

LOLOLOLOL Yep there went coffee directly out my nose onto the keyboard.

But Oh So Worth it! (As Always!!)

Y'all are the highlight of my day. Thank you!

Naomi said...

Feliz cupleanos is Happy Birthday, not Merry Christmas. Nice try, though. xD

Anonymous said...

"Please stand clear of the sliding glass doors."...seriously the only thing I remember from 7 years of Spanish...

Melyssa said...

Bi-lingual (or quad-lingual?) snarkiness. LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

OMG today's post was hilarious!!

The last cake looks like Dora sticking her tongue out and showing us an infection/growth/food particle underneath. She should be more concerned about the mole on the right. Pauvre, pobre Dora.

elatian: One who is elated. Unlike those that received cakes like these.

Allison said...

Hey, John, you might not have realized this, so I thought I'd be helpful and bring it to your attention, but Feliz Cumpleanos = Happy Birthday, not Merry Christmas. Duh.

'Cause you weren't trying to be funny or anything, of course.

Valerie said...

This one made my head hurt.

Anonymous said...

You know those cakes are F'ed up when my 4 year old who LOVES Dora can't even figure out who those are supposed to look like.

The Nolans said...

I always wondered about the log ride myself. Even after living in South America I never could translate: "Deramoni sersen. Tados, por favor"

My favorite thing about Dora are the inane pauses. Are they annoying or not?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
( blink, blink )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Right! . . . They ARE annoying!

!Gracias, mon ami, por una posta mas funnisimo!

Saralyn said...

Take the monorail over to the Magic Kingdom, where the Tomorrowland Speedway recording will admonish you, "No choque el auto de enfrente."

Bluefairy said...

Can someone please explain to me what is so funny about today's post? Why the massacre of foreign languages? What does this have to do with Dora the explorer? I've never watched Dora, what is it all about? I simply don't get the joke.

Clever Fingers said...

No day is complete without 1. Cake Wrecks and 2. a Flight of the Conchordes reference. Woh hoh hoh....baguette! GOSH I LOVE MULTITASKING. thx guys

Kevin Phair said...

I only took one term of Spanish in college. I got some of it but certainly not all of it. Tomorrow's post should be a translation of this post! Lol. Good work. Because of Dora my 3-year old chooses to speak spanish instead of english, the language the rest of her family speaks. Maybe she can translate this one for me... hmm it's a thought... ;)
-Alyssa

Tori Lennox said...

OMG! That's got to be one of the funniest things I've seen in ages!!! And some of the scariest cakes!

Yiskah Sarah said...

I LOVE John's handy dandy translation guide!! (with the ref to the wdw monorail!!! "Porfavor mantenganse alejados de las puertas" was one of the first spanish phrases I learned! That, and "Donde esta el baño")

Yiskah "Si se puede!" Petit

calisto said...

OMG!!!! Jajajaja (cause that's the way you laugh in Spanish)

I loved today's post. I live in Chile (proud home of the chilean snuggly bug, if you remember that post) and I'm an English Translator/Interpreter... so you can just imagine how hard I laughed today.

Also, ever wondered what "maraka" stands for?... jajaja, homework my queridos amiguitos.

Mucho felicitacion por sus bueno sitio internés. Yo corazón it.

Laurie said...

"Vous les vous en la baguette, sil vous plait!" ... I have no idea what you meant, but at least you're polite. I love it!

Costumeholic: You mean "Donna la Culturiste"? It IS hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Dani, your spanish is perfect for a gringa tonta. I bet you pull it out every time you drink a margarita.

BADKarma! said...

That last cookie monstrosity seems to be implying that Dora has Treacher-Collins Syndrome. Poor girl. Who knew?!?!!

WV: prathyt - Leave us all prathyt these wreckorators seek other lines of work. Soon.

freddie said...

30 some years ago I took several languages in colleges and ended up with a French major and Spanish minor. With very little practicing since then, I understood your narration perfectly! Bien hecho, tres bien!

Danielle said...

Please stand clear of the doors. Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas.

Yup. That's all I need.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Hi Bluefairy,

No problem. The show, "Dora the Explorer," teaches kids Spanish by constantly translating much of what she says from English to Spanish. I think it's completely awesome and I'm sad that I didn't have something so useful when I was a kid.

The joke today was really that this brilliant child Dora, who probably speaks twelve languages, just decided to mess with everybody and mangle them all together. We were honestly hoping that most folks, regardless of linguistic skill, would recognize some Spanish, French, German, Russian and gibberish and make the connection that we did it on purpose.

My update, which was in response to someone wanting a translation, was meant in jest as well. You know...

You can make some of the people laugh all of the time...

Have a fantastic day!

john

Kaaren said...

Aye Dios Mio! Pero es que la gente no entienden el humor suyo. Feliz Cumpleños!

Great one today!

Laura said...

High school Spanish was worth it just so I could understand this hilarious post, LMAO

sunlizzard said...

Es la Worrrrd Jourrrrrney!!!!!

LMAO! Gracias, gracias, amiga!

Natalie said...

You guys are hilarious! At first I thought you were actually trying to write Spanish, then I couldn't stop giggling..

Anonymous said...

I, like many others, didn't even look at the cakes because I was enjoying the commentary so darn much!

(I honestly feel pity for all the commenters who didn't understand the fact that you staged Language Mash-Up on PURPOSE, and have been trying to "correct" you or demean your language skills! Don't be downhearted - most of us got it, and most of us really appreciate the intelligent humor!)

Aliza said...

Gevalt, what a funny post! OK, now that I've covered pretty much all my Yiddish.

I liked I was getting more and more lost with the "Spanish" and then you had a Lost cake. And how you worked in all those random, meaningless phrases in a very amusing way. Like others here, I forgot to actually look at the cakes...

PS Since everyone's commenting on the spanish "error" in translation, I'll bring Vous les vous... mangez? habitez? perdrez quelque chose? je pense que vous oubliez d'inclure un verbe!!)

morriganscrow said...

I say! Is that a giant Epcot bouncing across the countryside? It is! Bueno! Da svedanya!

WV - itorphou - one of the less well known Greek islands.

Sera said...

(my english is very bad. sorry for the mistakes ñ_ñU)oh my god... I'm spaniard and I can't understand anything of this translation :S well, at least you tried do it, well done ^^. Well, in order to help you, I try to explain the last words of your post (do you say post or other word when you write in a blog? ñ_ñU sorry...)
Hola: yes, "hola" is hello in spanish XD and if you write "ola", this means "wave". Several young people writes "hola" without h when they're chatting, but is a big mistake! but, unfortunately, they do it ú_ù...
Backpack: in spanish we don't use this word XD (logically XD)
Baguette: yes, is a french word. Baguettes are a long and narrow breads (and are very tasty XD In spain we have baguettes too XD but this bread is tipic in france)
Feliz cumpleaños: what!? "feliz cumpleaños" is happy birthday O_O and merry chistmas is "feliz navidad"
Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas: Stay away from doors

this page is awesome XD I love it. Well, I see you soon ^^

Anonymous said...

Lol, I love how you lapsed into French and German there. Having lived in Florida, currently living in Acadie-land, and having a mother who speaks both Dutch and German, I totally appreciated it!

Andrea said...

Are a lot of the cakes you find from Krogers? Everytime I go in there I see at least fifteen Cake Wreck worthy creations.

Kersley Fitzgerald said...

Can't post...too busy crying!

Anwesha said...

i shouldnt be reading this while im at reception.

Anonymous said...

Monorail FTW!

caferacers66 said...

Serial killer is exactly what I thought too!!.. -scary but OMG you outdid yourself go take a happy break you deserve it. Coming from a family that is part Bolivian and once married to a woman from Germany also, I found this so funny... hellish cakes but so funny, thanks!

Lilianna said...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BilingualBonus

"Por favor, mantengense alejado de las puertas"... wonder where you've heard that before? *cough cough Monorail*

drgns4vr said...

Hola, etc.

Loved the commentary today, but I seriously question the cake/cookie that had the plane flying over the inflamed eyeball. What?

So long, or in the word of verification Adevali

ErinMichelleBKE said...

110 comments are too many to read through to see if anyone else corrected this but Feliz Cumpleanos is Happy Birthday. Or was the joke? Either way, scary Dora pictures. My 2 year would cry. Or not.

crystal said...

This is the correct translations.

Feliz cumpleaños- Happy Birthday

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- Please stay away from the doors

Just so ya know ^>^

Alex said...

I have never laughed so hard in a long, long time!

Thank you for being the most "gifted linguist" on the planet.

Dora the Serial Killer? Definitely.

Mrs. Marino said...

"Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas- No idea." Hey, isn't that what the recording on the Disney Monorail says before the doors shut?

Kellie

Heidi said...

Aros con pollo, what a brilliant post!

Fanboy Wife said...

Escritas en español como mi esposo, who is a man who tried to cheat with my notes in Spanish class in high school.

MissNay said...

So. Friggin. Hilarious. Thanks for brightening my day. I just had to put my sweet dog to sleep and this has been the first thing that made me laugh in three days. Thanks, guys.

Anonymous said...

WTF?!

Mary said...

Yo Quiero Taco Bell?

Ha ha, that was funnier and funnier as I read it. I was laughing so much my hubby had to come over and read it too!

Anonymous said...

OHMYGOD. The more I read the more I started getting quiet and making sobbing noises in between--this is what I sound like when I laugh so hard I can't breathe.

Loved. <3

Kelley said...

First off I absolutely LOVE your site! Especially the messed up order cakes. Today's post, however, had me crying with laughter! That's a first for me and cakewrecks!!! Thanks for the laughs, I needed that!

Jewel said...

Feliz Cumpleanos means Happy Birthday

Feliz Navidad means Merry Christmas

Just thought it would help :)

Sandi said...

Bwahahaha! The Spanish was awesome!

snye said...

I know that last note in the updates! It's the thing the monorail says! "Please keep yourself away from the doors." Oh, man, my brother and I would repeat that sooooo much on our family trips to Disney. And I remember being really excited to write it out when I took Spanish in high school.

-Sara

Dale said...

I'm a translation grad student doing an internship at a translation company. My language combination is Spanish and English.

Part of me wanted to laugh. Part of me wanted to shake my head. A small part of me wanted to cry.

I gave in to that first part, as well as a small bit of the second.

By the way, anyone amused by this should look up the "One Semester of Spanish Love Song" on YouTube.

Anonymous said...

For some reason, I'm not amused at my native tongue being raped and thrown in a dumpster. I guess I'm not cool.

Craig said...

#1 Happy Birthday, Delani, from Dora the Zombie! Delani? It's ok, it's just a cake. There's no reason to be afraid of a cake. Although...

#2 Creepy. 'Dora Explores Crystal Lake', perhaps? "What could possibly go wrong?" (Also known as the question every wreckerator asks before picking up the piping bag.)

#3 Is the (squirrel? Monkey? Squirrel monkey?) hanging from a strand of Christmas lights? That would explain the facial expression, at least. What explains the remainder of 'there' not bonding to the cookie?

#4 I know there are cupcakes in there, somewhere. I'll give it a 'patooie' just to be on the safe side.

#5 A scene from the last book in the series: 'Dora Explores The Interior of an Active Volcano'. "Ay! Muy muy caliente!" How tall is that cake, anyway? Check the sides...

#6 That's just wrong.

That last cookie would give a parent nightmares, @Jen B. Between an international-scale sugar rush and dark brown icing that is guaranteed to go everywhere and once smeared, is indistinguishable in appearance from...

@Libby, how about 'Dora Explores Parental Authority'? Maybe good ol' Roy G. Biv was piloting the plane on the volcano mission. Heh heh.

musikartlvr said...

As usual, made me laugh, snort and tear up.. love it! Specially the "translation" jajaja.. ¡Me gusta!

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 1:17,

So is your native tongue English, Spanish, French, German, or Russian?

And really. Raped?

Whatever.

Anonymous said...

You know, this is the first post where I didn't even see the pictures the first time through. I was just focused on the words. Your awesomeness and multi-lingual banter is unrivaled.

Arlene said...

Lol I have never laughed so hard in my life. Those cakes combined with the language lesson..lmao. Must stop laughing and I don't even speak spanish yet I understood some of that.. those cakes scared me though. They are perfect for Halloween and I can't wait to see what happens then.

Noortje said...

I can't stand Dora, but the Spanish (and every other language used) made me giggle out loud. My colleagues must think I'm nuts :)

shikishinobi said...

When doing art, original or cover, I always have an idea of what I want. When it comes to my personal creations, I am not so fussy.
When it comes to cover art (copying an original) I tend to be fussy. If it doesn't look near the original thing, I ditch it. If it is close, I ask for a second opinion. In either case, like this, these guys should have asked for more than 20 opinions, all of which would have been 'forget it!'s.

staxia said...

"por favor man-tango blah blah blah"

That's the start of our day at Disney World!

If it weren't for the super awesome t shirt (which I still regret not buying) I wouldn't know how to spell it!!

LOL

Gary said...

Hey, gang, "Feliz cumpleaños" doesn't mean "Merry Christmas." It means "Ich bin ein Epcot."

Anonymous said...

Let me sum up these comments:
Half of them correct the "Spanish." I can't figure out how these people wandered into a humor blog.
The other half are like, "oh, goody, do you hate Dora too?" We need more of these, please.

gabi said...

Que risa!!! Me encanto! Posiblemente lo mas gracioso que has escrito hasta ahora. En serio no aguante la risa, demasiado bueno.

Sayonara namaste.

Michelle said...

Best. Post. EVER.

Anonymous said...

I don't take spanish at school, I take chinese, but I'm PRETTY sure that spanish didn't make much sense :)

Lorissa said...

This is utter hilarity. Utter.

Bluefairy said...

@John,

Thanks for the explanation! Now that makes sense. But I do hope the actual, non-baked-monster Dora speaks better than that :))

E. said...

To Anon @ 1:17

We all choose what does and does not offend us.

People mess up English ALL THE TIME and they supposedly speak it as their native language. I'm not sure how something so trivial could offend you.

I loved this. And actually want to punch Dora less because of it.

Single Dad Laughing said...

Nunca debes comer cake de Mexico. Siempre va a tener insectos al dentro. Yo lo se de experiencia personal.

Single Dad Laughing

The Ferber Family said...

haha! "please stand clear of the door!" love the disney nod :o)

nelsonturf said...

You also forgot "golyama rabota" which means "big deal" in Bulgarian! Yeah...I speak it. Booya!

Bridget Delaney said...

Darupija (sp?) means "big black frog" in Lithuanian and it is the worst thing that you can call somebody!

Jenn said...

I don't know EXACTLY what that last bit means, but I know it plays every four seconds on the Walt Disney World Monorail...

Martina said...

Feliz cumpleaños- Merry Christmas
No, that's wrong, Feliz Cumpleaños actually means Happy Birthday

Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas...oh and that means please stay away from the doors...


I really laughed a lot though!

Love your blog!

TychaBrahe said...

I believe that "Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas," means "Please make Alex's doors out of manganese."

Anonymous said...

Looks like you snuck some Bulgarian in there with all that Spanish...!! You are very talented, how many languages is Dora teaching these days on TV?

Laura M.

Anonymous said...

Cake Wrecks Reading Guidelines:
1. Don't read while drinking or eating.
2. Don't read during kids' nap time if you think they'd be awaken by loud bursts of laughter.

wv: swarios
I swarios, you guys es hilarioso!

TheAimee said...

Wow... I'm from Mexico... so when I started reading this I was all... "Dios mio! No tiene cerebro esta mujer!" But then I realized you were kidding! I laughed so hard!! Dora la podadora no es querida en Mexico....

TheAimee said...

So, in conclusion, you have the most excellent brain ever, dear Jen !

Anonymous said...

"Por favor mantengas alejados de las puertas" is "please stand clear of the door" on the Monorail system at Disney World.

Sylvia said...

Is it me, or shouldn't that first cake read "Hang ON"???? Sorry... have to ask... think I am going mad

Norkio said...

Le sange est sur la table?

ishtheintrepid said...

My bilingual brain just broke trying to make any sense of your Spanish. Tell John that for my cumpleanos, I want him to wish me feliz navidad. :P

TheOneOnTheRight said...

Since everyone else has commented on how hilarious this entry is (grammatically incorrect, I know, but I'm too tired to think how to write it properly), and the translation corrections have been overdone by several people too lazy to read the previous posts to realize their input was entirely unnecessary, I just wanted to point out how the wreckerator of the last cake was clearly aware of the disaster s/he created, thus requiring the Dora the Explorer decoration so the recipient would know what they were receiving.

Do I get points for the longest run-on sentence?

wv: kawthe The kawthe of reading this blog while at work is that I have to pretend I'm not laughing, and to hide the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I could barely finish reading because I was laughing and crying so hard. I got a great ab workout from this. Boy, this has got to be the funniest thing ever created!

Petite-Amante said...

Feliz cumpleanos means Happy Birthday.... LOL I love you guys though :)
-Michelle D.

Cupcakes Lady said...

Lol what a poor looking monkey ! Oh my. xx

Bailey said...

This very much made my day... My bf and I were cracking up translating the spanish! (especially when we saw some russian, french, and german mixed in...) it made absolutely no sense! At first we thought you just had problems with foriegn languages, then we ended up laughing so hard we cried.Thank you for the amusement!