Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Labor of Love

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!


And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?



Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)


Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.


And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!


Yep, I'm changed for life.


Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?
«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 219   Newer›   Newest»
Christine said...

Unbelievable! Incredibly bad taste - and I'm not talking about eating those things!

Taylor@MyOlderBrothers said...

It looks like a Sperm Cauldron, which is so gonna be the name of my band!

Trevor said...

My eyes! My eyes!

Holy Cow. Seriously, it boggles my mind that these cakes were actually made. I think I just found some great motivation to go back to work now and try to clense my mental pallete.

Diana said...

Trains one day, babies the next. Yeah, we got that Tuesday symbolism.

Frankly, I find the idea of a flower growing in my uterus rather disturbing. Would it tickle me from the inside?

Anonymous said...

The problem is that anyone has ORDERED these cakes in the first place. A bakery can only do so much with an order like that!

Lauren said...

the green, plant-like vagina on the plant analogies cake is what's going to give me nightmares! who thinks of this stuff?

teacherlady said...

Why, oh why, are Kristin's boobs bigger than her baby bump?

Kimmie said...

I'm sorry, maybe the people who ordered these cakes would say I have "no sense of humor" but I think every last one of these is disgusting and inappropriate.

I mean, carrot jockeys are funny. Uterine and sperm cakes? Not so much.

Anonymous said...

I'm speechless.
Erin G.

MyCatsRule said...

As disturbing as these cakes are (in a freakin' hilarious way), I do have to say I'm liking the goggles #2 is sporting. LOL! I scared my cats with my sudden outburst of laughter!

Carol said...

Wow....those are so disturbing on so many different levels!!!!

Heather, Neilson, Grace & Creighton said...

ok i am so scarred for life!

Anonymous said...

I believe your note at the end of the post, Jen, and I look forward to the end of year/old men cakes in December.

Kashmir said...

Cake #2 - Too cute. Dad never gets enough recognition.

Cake #5 - I like it. Go lesbians!

The last cake? That one makes me hysterically happy I'm menopausal.

Allen's Brain said...

Wait a minute! "Woman" + "sushi roll with fish eggs on top" = Baby?

Yes. but baby WHAT?

DT said...

My eyes!!!

J said...

At first I thought that cup o' sperm was sushi.

kayak said...

I didn't think "coffee" when I saw the rainbow cake; I thought mom got pregnant in an unfortunate hot-tub incident. (Urban legends die hard. http://www.snopes.com/pregnant/swimsperm.asp)

Miranda said...

BLARGLE

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

@__________________@


AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

911 and the Randomness.. said...

Yes, I will have nightmares... and I'm forever changed too. I'm loving the cup of mojo tho!

NYCGirl said...

The baby in (um, literally) the last cake has the same terrified look I imagine we all do...

Anonymous said...

I'm not such a fan of icing and probably wouldn't waste time scraping it off a cake like this, whether I was the new mom or not. I can imagine the shower where I discovered it:

"Wow, let's have cake RIGHT NOW. I just can't WAIT for CAKE! Let's cut it up before we have to look at it ANY longer! Oh my GAWD, THAT'S REALLY SOME CAKE!"


WV: Zingers-- Forget the cake. Let's just all share a box of Zingers. Please? Twinkies? Anything?

Kore said...

I have to admit that I thought the sperm wearing goggles cake was pretty funny. The rest will give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

Marie said...

Totally makes sense... New year, new baby.. and those were just scary. I'll never look at my coffee cup the same way. Ever. :)

Cate said...

The flower sprouting out of uterus freaks me out a lot less than the green vajay. I think she should have that checked out.

jj said...

Nice to show the medical side of the process of birth. You know, in case you happen to teach a Health class to impressionable teens, and you were wondering what to bring to class parties.

Laura said...

Egads! Good thing I'm beyond reproduction or this post may have put me off for good. I'm still debating about whether I'll return to eating cake or not. . . .

On a positive note, is there really anything better than birth control disguised as cake? Really?

Jane said...

Good Lordy Lord, with lashings of Lordliness, and Lordy sprinkles! I'm an ex-nurse, and still those (for want of a better word) cakes horrified me!

The last one, with a remarkably clean newborn peeping coyly from beneath the sheet, made me choke on my own spit....

WV: "ficenta" - a fictional placenta, like the one lurking inside some of those cakes!

Carrie Penny said...

The dad cake was kind of cute, but the pushing out and the daisy I will not be getting much sleep after seeing! My husband and I are wanting to get a start on our fmaily this year, but AGH!!!!

ElleBee said...

Changed for life? I may be scarred for life after seeing some of those!

jhames said...

That last cake… thank God I finished breakfast first.

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, I need a baby shower cake. Can you put some sperm on it? No, you won't do that? Well, uh, how 'bout some balloons, then? OK, that'll be fine, too."

Susan said...

That last one - my mind just broke.

Richard said...

Maybe its just me, but I thought that the colorful one was more along the lines of "woman plus birthday cake (decorated with sperm?) = baby." Still eww, but totally on theme!

Also, could the last one represent a "Congratulations on your first real job!" cake for a recently graduated Ob-Gyn? That'd make more sense...

-Richard

Gary said...

I find it interesting that you put a warning on the post of clowns ... er ... clowning around, but not on this display of graphic ... er ... graphics.
No, I'm not complaining, I'm just interested.

Now that schools seem not to be teaching sex ed anymore, maybe young people have to get it from cakes. How else would they learn that sperm cells have eyes and noses (and they come in a can), and that babies grow in a pod on a daisy plant in Mommy's tummy?

Le said...

Having seen many babies be born that last cake is disturbing. Where is that baby coming out of??? Although if done "properly" it would probably be creepier....

Lindsay said...

i first thought the cup of sperm was a sperm sushi! Ewwww!

Melissa G said...

Glad to know your rationale--it was a little eerie to come upon these when I'm due any day now. And yes, I'll be having nightmares!

Roo said...

Some people are just S-I-C-K!!!!!!!

Kathleen in Canada said...

Sigh... for the first cake I'm picturing a group of kids with their plates out... "I want *that* piece. The one with the sperm on it."

Just plain wrong on so many levels.

Why, no, I'm not usually this green. Thanks for asking :o)

Kirsten said...

I am horrified by the last cake! I thought the belly cakes were bad, but to go to such lengths...I don't think I want kids now...

KarmaPearl said...

Holy eff, that last cake had to have originated here in Chattanooga, TN. That's where Erlanger Hospital is located.

*hides in shame*

Anonymous said...

I've had four babies & that last one still made me squirm. What in the world are people thinking when they order these cakes, let alone make them???

The sperm goggles are pretty funny though. DH always said that people's "congratulations!" when we were expecting made him uncomfortable. I'll have to show him that cake when he gets home from work!

joyce said...

who wants to eat a safety pin? Seriously. Yikes

Catherine said...

steaming cup=artificial insemination?

Kristen said...

I'll admit it...I like the sperm cakes. (Oh...oh, gosh, that sounded REALLY bad.)

Amanda Mac said...

Oh crap! That last one is LOCAL! My son was born at that hospital! Aaarrrggghhh!

I would so have a fit if somebody gave me that cake for a shower!

Heather said...

Of course it's sushi! Woman + nice dinner at sushi place = baby making opportunities galore.

(Or there's something afoul in ye olde sushi shop's kitchen!)

Anonymous said...

As if my pregnancy hormone induced dreams weren't crazy enough, now I have alien daisies to look forward to. Oh, and the last cake isn't helping either since Erlanger is where I'll deliver.

Lisa T. said...

The pink uterous cake with the cookie fetus looks more like a bedpan. I think this one was for one of those ladies who go to take a poop and find themselves attached to the potty on I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant. So with that in mind, it is totally appropriate. Not gross at all.

Ick

Katie said...

I actually sat there and blinked repeatedly at the last one.

wv: crant - I crant believe some of these cakes!

Terry Lee said...

oh. no. they. di'uhn't.

our society has completely lost any sense of propriety.

also, it makes me ever-so-thankful that i no longer have my tilly.

Anonymous said...

If you turn that last one upside-down, it looks like a big lumpy serial killer coming towards you! Eeyow!

Julie said...

Thank GOD I am past reproduction so I never have a chance of anyone giving me a cake like this!

But I must say, my boss is named Jason and I soooooo want to forward that picture to him.

Betty said...

Gives my morning cup o' Joe a new twist...

Anonymous said...

These wrecks are just wrong.
NO swimming.
Everybody KNOWS storks bring babies... uumm or "babies are found under the cabbage patch"-
Neither has water, OR body parts.


Mocking

Naantje said...

Why on EARTH are the boobs on that last cake as big as the pregnant belly? It's like Lolo Ferrari giving birth... Creepy, creepy, creepy cakes!

Sallie said...

I am just totally appalled. Why would anyone order cakes like that? How could those possibly be taken as anything other than inappropriate? How? Tell me, somebody, HOW?

Tainda said...

I think Richard is right. The last cake looks like a cake for a new Ob-Gyn.

I actually think they are all pretty funny and cute lol I'm kinda of demented that way

Shadow said...

Wow. I'm greatly distubred right now!!

hattalahutta said...

Um, that last cake reminds me of the ending of the first season of "The Kingdom" (the original Danish series)... I NEVER want to have kids (but not because of these cakes, which I find mostly funny)

Niecey said...

How come she got a slice with sperm on it but I didn't? It's not fair.

Ok those sperms cakes are just wrong.
"Mum why are there tadpoles on that cake?"

Actually I found most of them amusing. I am one of those weird homebirthing mums who has a placenta in my freezer so that last one hardly disturbs me at all. But I must admit, the uterus one with the cookie fetus really bothers me. Particularly the cookie fetus. I just can't imagine standing around the pregnant belly woman, smiling at her bump whilst making casual conversation and crunching on the replica of the babe to be.

Betty said...

The last two are the worst. How dreadful. Do the people who provide these cakes for the celebrations actually think these cakes are funny? If I was having a baby shower and received a cake like this, I'd probably burst into tears. And I am known as the Fun One!

-Sea Nymph- said...

I love how the plant looks like a... plant >_>

And these baby shower posts have been great motivation! I'm currently helping to plan a shower for my cousin and I'm in charge of the cake :)

Midnight Ramblings said...

I am absolutely speechless.

JelliDonut said...

Oh. My. God. Is this a new form of birth control?

andygirl said...

OH GOOD GOD! The last one is leaving me struggling to remember why I want to give birth.

But the Jason sperm with goggles is kind of cute.

Anonymous said...

Eye bleach, please! No one in their right mind would make a cake like these, let alone serve it.

Bec said...

Makes sense to me! I'm due in the end of Feb and am having baby showers this month... I'm sending these posts to my hostesses and saying "Nothing like this, please!"

Flartus said...

You took the words right out of my mouth: "Auuugggghh!!!"

Except for the uterus cake..."Oh my gOOdness!"

I gotta love the rainbow-striped specimen cup cake, though! And the biology lesson cake, I have to admit, is rather well executed. Though I have strong reservations about that ladybug trying to crawl up inside Mom's severed leg...

Poofleia said...

But how are there REALLY that many bad cakes in the world? I would think that your supply would start drying up, but nooooo.... still going strong. I mean, COME ONE!

THE BIRTH CAKE?!?!
I can safely say I'd have NO problem cutting into it.

Eating, however, would be a different story.

morethanamom2four said...

That first one reminds me of a candle I used to have. It was called the Happy Sperm candle.

dharmamama said...

At least the first two cakes have plenty of protein!

0_0

Lauren Borquez said...

Wow! Talk about visual Birth Control...

Can't See Sheep said...

Oh wow, haven't you always wanted a nice slice of uterus cake??? Thanks,I'll have my cake without the sperm. What is that with the daisy & the pod, the reproduction of the Green Giant & the birth of that Sprout character, ho, ho, ho, Green Giant, indeed! Oh that's so disturbing.

That glass on the rainbow cake I thought was hard liquor, guess I'm still celebrating New Years in my mind, that or I need a good stiff drink after looking at those cakes, well, it's 5pm somewhere in the world. Who order's these?!?!? What happened to wanting your guests to ooh & ahhh because it's a beautiful well thought out cake, rather than squirming in discomfort & playing hot potato with the piece that has sperm on it?

Anonymous said...

omg, thanks for showing us these horrible, terrible cakes. I'm going to have nightmares for the rest of my life!!!

Onyx said...

Okay I don't think I should look at stuff like this before lunch, ummm and after lunch is not a good idea either

Lynne said...

I don't get it, does that first cake have a layer of plastic on top? (Look at that sheen!)

..Well, I guess protection is always a good idea.

msyendor said...

Goggles, ok, for a swim sports competition.

But pushing up daisies? Wrong phrase association. (Invasion of the pod people?)

Blue eyes staring in horror. OMG, but could've been worse, like, footprints.

WV: Bithe -- "R" you kidding?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I'm nearly 8 months pregnant and haven't had a shower yet... I'm almost afraid of what my mother comes up with. She reads this blog though, so maybe she won't do something terrible.

happy times said...

Oh my!
But remember each cake represents a group of people celebrating the birth of a new baby....so I'll just be happy for them.

Victoria said...

Does anyone else feel creeped out that the sperm on cake one have eyes??? But as the cartoonish sperm on cake 2 has eyes also, it just makes it cuter, not creepier. If cake's printed edible paper wasn't wrinkled, I'd possibly eat it but the last 4 are just darn disturbing! Not cute, not cute!

wv: aboilu- I'll have abouilu have a girl!

Anonymous said...

Good Lordy Lord, with lashings of Lordliness, and Lordy sprinkles!

This made me laugh out loud even harder than those cakes did.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm... fetalicious.

Anonymous said...

That last one was down-right distasteful, not to mention plumb ugly. Why are these cakes even created to begin with? On another note, I enjoy reading your blog and I thank you for sharing these awesome cakes!

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Hmm. They used to just show videos in sixth grade sex ed classes. I feel like pastry form is much more effective and um ... graphic.

Jasry said...

As a currently-pregnant Wreckie fan, I can only hope that nobody throws me a shower, if that's the caliber of cake that is out there now. (That said, if someone wants to order me the awesomeness of the Darth Vader & baby cake, I will totally accept!)

Anonymous said...

As someone who underwent a lot of fertility treatments to get pregnant I find these cakes hilarious. Kind of wishing I was pregnant again just so I could have one.

Contemporary Troubadour said...

Yep, I'm with everyone totally freaked out about the pea pod turned vagina.

I think you've officially discovered a new form of birth control.

Anonymous said...

Wow- I will so get my husband a sperm cake when the time comes!! But we do have a special sense of humor... or I like to torture...

Andrea said...

Holy CRAP!! Who comes UP with these things?

And seriously, how the heck does somebody cut up AND THEN SERVE those last two cakes? I mean really??? "Here, honey -- have a nipple. Oh, you prefer belly button -- no problem."

Geez.

Shalen said...

Suddenly I envy all of you who are post-menopausal. Oh dear Lord never, never let me get pregnant SCREW the survival of the species...

Malisa Twelves said...

eeeeeeww! "um honey... i definitely have a headache tonight...."

Fluffy Cow said...

Cuteness aside... WHY is the sperm wearing goggles?????? I get it is swimming... but is there something going on down there that it needs eye protection?

Anonymous said...

I'm with Terry Lee and Sallie and others: What has happened to good taste? And not just referring to the flavor of the cakes themselves. I just cannot imagine being at a party where any of those cakes are served (particularly the one with the cookie fetus--just gross) and smiling and pretending that these were all lovely ideas for food and entertaining.
Nope. They are just in poor taste in every way possible. Hilarious and wince-inducing at the same time.

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of your best pages ever... I have now passed the "babay Shower Cakes" link on to 20 people!

Laura P. said...

i totally should not have been eating when i looked at this post! i almost had taco salad all over my monitor when i got to the second to last cake! wow. hiliarious post! i might have those nightmares tonight, too, jen.

Anonymous said...

Hey, #5 is mine! (kidding--just the process :) fertility issues...my hubby couldn't earn a #2 cake that easily)

Downright scary. Taylor--love the band name!! LOL

lauren, the plant like vagina was probably a peapod....

teacherlady, I was wondering the same thing! and then why are the hands two dimensional when everything ELSE is 3D?

the fetus cookie in the uterus is oh. so. wrong. the others are kinda funny, though they all make me squirm. *snicker*

love the goggles on #2. I had to post on FB for the two Jasons in my life (both dads).

LOL @ Allen's Brain & Gary

claire said...

is it a bad sign that i would LOVE to get that rainbow cake?!? :Þ

Lindsey said...

I must be crazy, but I really like the second sperm cake and the uterus cake, I think they're funny and cute. And the first cake isn't bad ether, it looks yummy.

Anonymous said...

As someone who is currently in their ninth month, I found some of these particularly disturbing. Looking forward to this getting this baby out of there. But - POP OUT? I'm going to have anxiety of that now, I think. Sounds painful and/or dangerous!

AmyRaz

Just Me,Pilgrim said...

Well, I was hanging in there...sorta.. on the grossness-level right until that last picture. NOW I'm gonna have nightmares. Thanks bunches, as usual Jen ;)

Heather said...

Im 29 weeks pregnant right now & I think that makes these cakes all the more funny - I can't imagine having to fake a positive reaction to receiving any of these cakes!
SO funny!

Sandi said...

That seed cake is so, so wrong.

Mari said...

Two things that came to mind when I saw this post:

1. Peapod = scary green labia
2. Girl + sperm bucket = baby.

Math is creepy.

Stoich91 said...

Yeah, I'll second with one of the frist commenters: "My eyes! My eyes!". And let's all use our imaginations and think about that gardening cake; perhaps the "mother to be" was simply a cake decorator hoping for a "budding cake wrecker" just like herself. How *sniff* SWEET! :)

deemack said...

Oh sweet merciful heaven! I'm just hoping that these cakes were made with humor in mind, but THAT is a stand up show that I could absolutely miss.

While I wasn't on the baby train before - this isn't any incentive to buy that ticket!

Anonymous said...

I like that baby sprout/seed/thing one. It's cute, and well done.

Phooey. D<

Samantha said...

Did someone really name their plant-baby Kacku? Kecker? What IS that?



wv: boopi. tehe.

StepherB said...

OMG I am more creeped out by the blue mouse squirming into a moldy in the center piece of cheese! Yikes!

Sabrina said...

Wow, that's just crazy. I don't think I would ever feel right eating a sperm cake...

Bonnie said...

@Mari- "Math is creepy."....LOL!!!!! That is hysterical!

This is a fabulously creepy post...i love it...don't think I want to actually eat the cakes or have them show up at any event I go to, but am so glad they were photographed for our amusement.

It does beg the question though--what do the guests say when they see the cake??? If the inscription is misspelled everyone can laugh or shake their heads...but if what was executed was requested and turns your stomach so that you don't eat any of the finger sandwiches or try any of the cheese ball...what in the world do you say?

Bonnie

steelejk said...

I thought the sperm cup was sushi at first...

Holly said...

The sperm in the fourth cake looks like the mouse from Mouse Trap!

Culinarychiq said...

That's it I'm officially traumatized! Talk about TMI cakes:-P I'd be a little nervous about cutting into the last one, please tell me it isn't a red velvet cake:-/

The Black Dog said...

That birth cake is going to give me nightmares

Anonymous said...

um...eww (gags)

corianne said...

Jen, I have to thank you. My biological clock has been in overdrive lately, but today's cakes managed to stop it cold.

I may or may not have screamed when I saw the last two cakes.

Eryn Pluim said...

The sperm with goggles is Willy the Sperm. I just saw that book yesterday!

Amanda said...

So maybe for that last one they could do cupcakes with little epidurals on them?? I'm just sayin.......

Buffy said...

Kinda makes you glad you had that ablasion, huh Jen?

Pam said...

I actually like the sperm with goggles! And the one with coffee I thought looked like: woman + sushi = love baby!

Blalock said...

Oh my goodness! Ugh!

Miss Hannah said...

My husband on the 'process' cake: "I really like how the peapod also looks like a green hoo-hoo."

whizkidforte said...

The last cake must've been a clothed, fondant-draped version of the infamous "Push Olivia, Push" buttercream counterparts. Talk about bad taste, Jen!

http://www.flexibledisney.com

Anonymous said...

http://www.randomhouse.com/kids/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780375830303

Yes, the book is called Where Willy Went, it is about a sperm who is a great swimmer!

Anonymous said...

Lindsay - "i first thought the cup of sperm was a sperm sushi!"...if only it were that easy...

Anonymous said...

Super Redhead Sperm Cake (with freckles and cape):

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6xoH967aC00/Sy6ArWb8SsI/AAAAAAAAV8c/G_gaLID_ycI/s1600-h/cake2.jpg

Bekah said...

OH MY. Unless there's another Erlanger hospital out there, that last one is from MY TOWN. I may know someone who helped eat it.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


WV: honse - Honsetogoodness, I can never look at people around here in the eye again...

Mary said...

Wow, I am speechless, and that doesn't happen to often.

Noelle said...

I literally just screamed and reeled back from my monitor at the last two. Holy poopie sticks, I'm scarred for life!!!

Rebecca said...

While most of the cakes are kind of disturbing, I actually think the one with the flower metaphor is cute!

Kirjava said...

I liked the rainbow math cake better when I thought the cup was supposed to be alcohol.

Girl + booze = baby? Sounds about right.

thevictoriankitchen said...

more horrifying that the cakes themselves is the fact that someone is naming their child 'kaden'.

Anonymous said...

OMG - I've been to orgies that were more tasteful than those cakes! Sperm, a uterus and a childbirth depiction in pastry??!! Are they mad?

Having actually had a child, I can still manage a minor case of the heebie-jeebies over childbirth depictions of any sort - had I seen that last cake at any party...the best I can say is that it would have been ruined by my the violent and uncontrollable disgust of my stomach turning.

Good grief.

shikishinobi said...

Yes, when at a baby shower, let us indulge in a large slice of WTFery spread out upon a cake. While my dirty and frankly overactive mind can come up with several comments, I think I will hold my tongue/fingers.
That plant cake should be presented to Poison Ivy should she ever have a baby.
The 'sperm in a cup' cake was hopefully for someone who went to the bank, if you know what I mean.
At the end of the day, I think a simple mud cake with 'Congratulations' (spelt correctly) written across it is good enough for any baby shower. Or, if you were decident, a chocolate riple cake.

Shelley Dayton said...

OH MY GOSH get these people out of the bakeries!!!!

Anonymous said...

To all who were curious about the last cake:
Yes, Richard, you are correct. That makes one intelligent person among all of you. It was to commemorate my graduating from medical school and starting Ob-GYN residency. OB doctors "catch" babies. Clearly, it was a joke. Was actually a big hit at my graduation luncheon. If you think the cake is obscene, then I don't suggest watching TV or attending a real birth.
-KB

Rebecca said...

I had no idea you could get a full lesson in human sexuality in cake format!
YIKES!

Rusty and Bandit said...

Yikes! I'm scarred for life.
Wow.
Anna Marie

Marji said...

I am now scarred for life.

Thanks.

Jess said...

Good lord. I think I lost some brain cells with these cakes.

Bree said...

The second cake is cute, probably because it's not 3D.

But the cake with the flower growing in the tummy---did the mom-to-be get impregnated by a Triffid?

Amanda said...

I thought making a naked baby cake was but whoa! these are disgusting!--- Amanda

Anonymous said...

Anonymous --

#1) Yes, Richard, the last cake was indeed a graduation cake for a new OBGYN doc, not a shower cake (that could've been disturbing). I was at the (private) party where the cake was present.

#2) as an OB myself, I thought these were freakin' hilarious!!! (except the plant one... sort of reminded me of the "Reproduction" song in the Grease2)

alphafem said...

I'm hoping to have an occasion to host a baby shower later this year and I also know the intended guest of honour reads this blog. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid...

Anonymous said...

Somebody check with Erlanger Hospital. Pretty sure they must have a new Obs doc on staff. Pretty sure her name must be Kristin.

The one that got me the most was the peapod vulva at the top. Having delivered babies myself, that one *definitely* looked more true to form than the last one.

Definitely doesn't make me want to eat it. *shudder*

(Just realized what that could sound like. I meant the cake. I'm a straight, happily married woman...) Ok, time to stop.

WV: bunun - as in, I think she's got a bunun the oven!

cherish said...

I hate to say it, but......

The Sperm on the second cake is kinda cute.

There.

Anonymous said...

I loved every one of these. I keep imagining the hilarity over at the bakery ("Hey, Hal, come see this... does this look like a sperm or a fish?") I'm expecting in July and shared this post with the other 5000 ladies in the Babycenter July 2010 birthboard. Jen, thanks for this lovely humor break amongst our drama.

Sara and Randy said...

ZOMG! That last one is horrifying! It could only be worse if they changed "camera" angles! But let's not give anyone any ideas 'bout that, 'kay?

jillb-ilslp said...

A goggle for one-eyed Willy - gotta love it!

Uterus = Bedpan...yeah, can't argue with that.

And Taylor, your band should write a song titled "I'm in love with Sir Clumpsalot." Rock on, if you know what I mean.

ummpumpkinseed said...

Oh. My. God. That's all I can say...

KrysTros said...

My eyes! My eyes! Seriously, they scare the crap outta me!

Ann said...

Oh. My. Lord...

Look, I'm glad we've moved past the days when pregnant women were expected to be ashamed of their condition, and hide it from everyone except their husband for the first 8 months and all...

...But I'm thinkin' perhaps we've moved a tad too far in the other direction...

Garden Lily said...

I don't think I could eat the first 2 or last 2.

Jana said...

The one with the poem in it cracks me up the hardest but the last two just hurt my eyes and brought back my PTSD from childbirth-someone needs a drug test if they think they were a good idea

Heidi D said...

I'm sure I'm not the Heidi D your talking about, but I'll just pretend I'm cool enough to be mentioned. {basking in the cool}

OK so the "plant cake" had me scratching my head as to what the peach colored blob was. Then I read about the daisies and the mid-section...what, is she talking abouuuuuugh NO!!! EWEW! Then I read someone liken the bean with the baby head to a vagina...I'll never be the same, Jen, I just won't.

Speaking of Alien flowers, that's just what the last picture of the cakes reminded me of. The movie Aliens. The scene where the Queen is laying the eggs...if you haven't seen it, check it out and you will see the resemblance. Not to mention that it's gray like a corpse, the boobs are bigger than beach balls, and who's hands are those?

My husband just told me it's supposed to be a sheet over her...I stand by what I said.

Heidi D said...

I would like to also say that I know what the hands are supposed to be, but the way they're positioned are all wrong.

It would be like the doctor standing on the table and bending over to check the progress and then yank the baby out.

OH MY GOSH!!! Aliens is just now starting on AMC!! No way! I swear, I'm channeling the future through your wrecky cakes!

Sixxlet said...

A flower growing out of her coochie. Hmmm.....

Megan said...

That last cake is beyond disturbing. The boobs are so huge and misplaced that I thought they were supposed to be knees and that the "baby" was popping out alien-style from the top of the stomach.

-Megan

Anonymous said...

Hilarious all of them! Except for the fetus cookie cake, thats disturbing.

Suzanne said...

i really liked the sperm ones -- make me laugh out loud!

DIANE said...

NO NO NO!!! They made the little green pea pod into a little green vaj!!! NO!

Methinks it might look like the Jolly Green Giant's little woman, no?

NOOOOO!!!

Woman Uncensored said...

Wow, I'm going to have nightmares now for sure!

Thanks for the laugh as usual ;-)

Sharon M said...

Disturbing, yes, but that second sperm cake... isn't that the cutest sperm you ever saw?!

Anonymous said...

That peapod, the one on the plant one? Yeah, that was a vagina. Good lord. Appetite=lost.

~* Aria *~ said...

Hah! I love these cakes. Reproduction fascinates me, perhaps because y own little in vitro fertilization-conceived baby (who was born at home, intentionally, with no pain meds) is sleeping in my lap. When you've had to go through something out of the ordinary to conceive, sometimes a little humor is in order. :)

Hopefully though no one who'd find offense to these cakes was invited to the part celebrating the very subject of the cakes.

GreatBlue said...

I don't think I want to have kids anymore.

theangelJean said...

Love the blog. And a side-splitting post as usual.

I hope I was the only one who looked at the safety pins and booties cake, remembered the recently-posted contraceptive cake, and immediately mistook the coloured booties for piles of pills and the safety pins for ... well, let's just say I focussed on the wrong end. Okay, I admit it, I'm a doctor ...

On another note, I find KB's response interesting. I am sure it was a great hit at her graduation party, especially if it was more fellow medical graduates/family who were in a health profession, rather than non-medical relatives and friends. Appropriate and no, not obscene under the circumstances.

But ... I can also sympathise with people who aren't comfortable seeing so much anatomy (and physiology!) without some warning, or at least the right context. Nobody is saying it's so offensive it should be taken down, just that it's not pleasant. The discomfort is part of the humour, and with the wrong context (baby showers! or even just - cake!) it's hilarious. Because while childbirth is 100% natural, it's also personal, emotional, intense and extremely physical. Just like sex. So it's not something you want served up on your plate unexpectedly :P

the angel Jean

Gary said...

thevictoriankitchen sez:

"more horrifying that the cakes themselves is the fact that someone is naming their child 'kaden'."

I so want to agree with you, kitchen, but nothing could be more horrifying than these cakes. Nothing.

Anonymous said...

These are fantastic! I am in the business of attending births (certified nurse-midwife) and find these entirely appropriate and hilarious for those with a light heart. I myself have been known to make anatomical cakes for parties. Lighten up people. Nothing wrong or innappropriate with these cakes at all, although the image of growing babies encased in plant buds is a bit much i must say. -KP

Anonymous said...

I must be the only person to find these cakes amusing. Not that I'd ever buy/eat one of them, but I did laugh my ass off.

L said...

I think the worst part of the creepy poem one isn't the daisy sprouting from the headless woman's crotch, it has to be the explicitly anatomical bean pod that the baby head is... emerge from.

Alex said...

SOMEONE PAID/ASKED FOR THE WOMAN+SPERM=BABY CAKE!!!! LOL

sarah22277 said...

One year ago today, I was in the same position as the last cake! AS the mother of four, natural births all, I have to say I thought most of these were pretty funny (except the fetus cookie one. That is just weird.)

wv: Mandes- Mandes my vajay hurt!

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

Wow. My mouth is still hanging open from that last wreck. Wrinkly gray skin!!!

Sarah said...

OMG, I can't believe I got a reference that strange and disturbing, but cake number two is a character from this book, which is also rather disturbing, especially as it is a children's picture book...
http://www.amazon.ca/Where-Willy-Went-Nicholas-Allan/dp/0375830308

Scarlett said...

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MIND BLOWING!

Traci said...

What the heck?!

Mandy said...

ROFL, I was wondering how may people caught the "Erlanger Hospital" reference on the last cake! Looks like you've got yourself a sizable fan base from Chattanooga, Jen!

And there I was thinking Erlanger was well-known for its burn unit. Guess it's a different type of burn, eh?

Candee said...

I never thought they could make sperm look so ermmmm cute!?

Lula said...

Ummmm.......I don't think 'midsection' (pic #4). Eeek!

bluellama said...

I couldn't believe it when I saw Erlanger. Be proud, Chattanooga, be proud.

lorrwill said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for another unexpected but stellar reminder of why my choice to never have children was the right one.

AutumnJade said...

You and John would have amazingly hilarious kids...I almost feel deprived with a future with out your spawn.

Jaimey said...

I REALLY should not have scrolled down to those baby cakes as today is my due date! :) Love the last one, the look on the babies face is priceless!

Anonymous said...

eh, I liked them =) Especially the sperm with goggles.

wv: skerear

SuzG said...

I'm thinking that maybe - MAYBE - that last cake is not for a shower, but for a med school student named Kristin who is starting an OB rotation. At least that explanation makes the whole thing much less horrifying.

lovenewportri said...

OMG!!! I am expecting in August, and i PRAY that I don't get any cakes like these! But if I do, you better believe you will be getting a picture! HILARIOUS!!

roachc420 said...

Of all the days to be drinking from a black coffee cup... o_O

Kimc said...

What was the name of the pea-pod baby? Did it say Kaden????? Kaclen???? Yikes!

Anonymous said...

Common comment from Ob/Gyn friends: Most consistent mini-baby boom is 9 months after the SuperBowl.

And, yes, with the "right" crowd, I could easily see the Ovum and Spermatazoa ideas being used.

Heidi said...

Aw, that's Willy artwork from Where Willy Went, a fabulous book about a little sperm's adventure, lol. Isn't he cute? He looks delicious? LOL!

http://www.amazon.com/Where-Willy-Went-Nicholas-Allan/dp/0375830308

#masher said...

My first thought when I saw that last cake was:
,,,
(0 0)
---ooO-(_)-Ooo---

"Kilroy IS here!"

Motleyangel said...

I'm traumatised for life by that last cake!!

Bead said...

You know, that girl + something cake looked an awful lot like girl + sperm-filled sushi to me.

I always knew there was something fishy about that stuff.

Gale said...

Oh my! Please oh please say that uterus one was for some obstetrician's party, not a baby shower!

Dave said...

WHY?! Why must people take the most beautiful part of life and destroy it with horrific confectionery?

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, I think my ovaries just tried to hide behind my lungs.

Sexy Sadie said...

The sperms on the first ones look more like ghosts.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 219   Newer› Newest»