Friday, January 1, 2010

The Elephant In The Room

Friday, January 1, 2010

Did you know that "seeing pink elephants" is a euphemism for drunken hallucinations?

By that logic, I guess seeing dead pink elephants is a euphemism for "the hangover to end all hangovers."

Anyone else think those were open graves at first? (Or the first 10 times you looked at it?)


Of course, there are degrees of hangovers, as anyone who's woken up next to a minstrel monkey in Prague can attest. Here I've compiled a handy reference guide to help you decipher what might have happened last night.

If you see this:

Then you may have had one too may shots of "worm-in" tequila.


If you see this:

Then I'd blame the lethal combination of purple people eaters and pork rinds while watching Pinocchio. (Seriously, this is not a good idea.)


If you see this:

Then you must know my friend Chris! Yeah. Next time, skip the green stuff.


And finally, if you see this:

Then I'm afraid what happened in Vegas didn't stay in Vegas. Mazel Tov!


Well, happy New Year, Wreckies! Or failing that, at least have some "Nappy New Yeas"

Yea, yea!


Jessica, Georgia F., Emily H., Candace & Travis, Victoria, James E., & Yvonne W., here's to a sweetly "wreck-less" new year.


- Related Wreckage: Wasted Cakes
Anonymous said...

Ok, I'll admit it took me a few looks to see that the first cake was the number 50, but I loved the little beer cans next to those pink elephants. (I right clicked on it and was able to see an enlarged photo of the cake.) Yes, the elephants were blobular, but the beer cans were really good. I bet Woody loved it.

Anonymous said...

my mom and I both doubled over. Perfect start to 2010!! May the year ahead be a prosperous one!

WV: gourl--the url for this site definitely deserves every bit of encouragement. go url! %)

Anonymous said...

Is that a 6 instead of an 8 on the clock cake? It sure looks like it...

Laura Dotson-Thomson said...

I'm still lost on the first cake. Are they supposed to be beer cans? Phallic symbols? Pools? hehehe.

Studyaid said...

Is that orange one supposed to represent elephantitis?

Anonymous said...

Gee, second day in a row I read the post before anyone had commented. Yesterday's post left me quite speechless, but today, well, hmm. The open graves got me going, and I had to stare for a while before I realized the cake was a big number. I thought those purple things are kind of cute! But what really tickled me was your friend Chris..... :)
Mainly, I wanted to say Happy New Year and thanks for the daily giggles.

Molly in Seattle

WV roftsm: roll on floor....no, not sure I want to go there after all.

colleenoz said...

Well, they're all pretty ghastly, but what on earth- or outer space, which seems more likely- is #4??? It looks like something from the background in the Cantina scene from Star Wars.

wv: teredn - The decorator was really teredn wanted to go to bed.

Laura V. said...

It's totally a 6 where the 8 should be... HAHAHA

Anonymous said...

I like cakes that make pause and think: not only are you 50, but keep drinking like that and you've got one foot in the grave.

Looking at this one made me feel like I was in an art class, going over the symbolism in a painting, only the painting was more akin to a really bad paint-by-numbers or one of kittens with big eyes, but still.

Galadriel said...

I think that orange one is a mosquito.

The first one looks straight out of "Dumbo."

Anonymous said...

Does your friend "Chris" have some serious cross-gender issues going on? Like Julia Sweeney as "Pat"?

Anonymous said...

Last clock cake has a letter g, on the dial? Oh my...
Mocking

librarylea said...

I still see open graves. What are those dark, cavernous rectangle areas supposed to be?

Heather said...

I love how the label on #4 just says critter. Even the wreckorator didn't know what it was supposed to be!

Half Assed Kitchen said...

I had no idea deformed elephants were part of New Years' celebrations. I'd like to see one in the Rose Parade.

S3XinthePantry said...

Ok, that oragne cake looked too much like insects crawling on human anatomy (I'm not going to say where!)
UGH!

Kirri said...

Just WTF are most of them supposed to be????
I cannot even start to guess at what was going on in the mind of the person who put that blob of bright pink icing in the corner of the "it's a boy" cake.
What were they thinking?
In point of fact, were they thinking?
You should have a competition to guess what some of these were supposed to be......

gatofish said...

I think "Nappy New Yeas" is going to be my new favorite saying.

Nappy New Yeas to YOU! :)

Stoich91 said...

"Mazel Tov"?! Jen/ er. John??? I didn't know! Must not have been reading this blog for long enough... :) But I will say this: it's one thing to know Yiddish and Hebrew, but a much different thing to pronounce it (anyone for a sore throat, this morning? Hee hee!) :) Mazel Tov!

Lulubelle B said...

Happy 50th Birthday to *Woody* from *Zippers*? Festooned with beer cans and pink elephants? Party on, Dudes!!

Renee said...

I was looking at the first cake and thinking "Okay if those aren't open graves, then what are they???"

Thanks to the commenter who explained that they were making a big number...I would have never seen that otherwise. ugh!

so glad we drink sparkling apple cider on NYE! leaves us with clear head to make dinner for today. whew!

WV: micalge - miracle on a hangover. ;o)

The Butcher's Wife said...

I love that Woody got that pink elephant cake from Zippers.

Anonymous said...

I think there's no way you're going to see anything like these in the Rose Parade-- I sense a lack of natural ingredients-- and that's just by looking at the icing.

Edna De la Cruz said...

Happy New Year...I wanted to say that yout blog is the best.. Keep the good work!

Edna De La Cruz

Anonymous said...

Mazel Tov! I love it! You guys make me laugh until I cry! :D

sharalyns said...

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that the first cake is to Woody, from Zippers?????

Anonymous said...

I looked at that cake for a good 15 minutes until i realized that it was numbers...
...And I don't think that's what they wanted...

crownring said...

Gadzooks! Purple poo roses with eyes! What is this world coming to?

Nappy New Yeas to all, especially my fellow wreckies!

eeyore19 said...

I saw a CCC at Walmart yesterday that was supposed to be in the shape of "2010" but instead looked like it said "2%". Unfortunately I didn't have a camera with me. :(

NanaCat said...

OK.... I just had abdominal surgery.... that was just NOT fair! I was laughing till I cried and crying because I was laughing! SO much fun today. I too would not have noticed the first cake was a giant 50, sure looked like graves to me.

Nappy News Yeas to all!

WV: turgioud ~ This was all turgioud to be true!

Amy said...

I think that orange thing is actually a lobster! which... actually, looks pretty good to me :)

HMCIV said...

Jen,

This is a cake blog. Not a personal confession page. ;-)

Miss Little Red Hen said...

Because nothing says Happy 50th like pink, passed out elephants...

Culinarychiq said...

Wow just wow! Definitely advocates for the "Don't Decorate Under the Influence" campaign! I'm just speechless. I'd also like to know the stories behind those cakes. Were they solely the brainchild of rogue bakers or did inspiration come from the customer?

Oh yeah and what ARE those things on the heffalump cake? I've magic eyed the thing several times and STILL think they're open graves:-P

Noni Mausa said...

Orange cake thingy number 4 -- I guessed a mosquito also, at first. But I think only butterflies have those twirly things for mouthparts...

Hey wait! That orange head is the "thing" butterflies see when they are drunk! Silly me.

Victoria said...

I just have to say... cake #1 definitely would have been better if they were open graves for an elephant burial. But when I double clicked the image I saw the 5-0. Still hilarious. Also, at least cake #1 can spell, no matter how bizarre the cake.

wv: headvenl That was divine! Almost headvenl in fact!

mommymichael said...

pink elephants! like on dumbo.

that scene always creeped me out.

a l'ouest said...

I actually thought the last cake read "Jlappy new yeas".

Anonymous said...

I have a very clear memory of going with my dad to our local bakery to pick out my birthday cake when I was probably about 10 years old.

I saw a pink elephant cake in the design book and I desperatly wanted it. I could not understand why my dad said absolutely not.

heee.

Tamara Marnell said...

That's a 50?

[stares]

I don't see it.

[stares]

Oh, there it is.

Maybe I would have gotten it faster if I had a few pink elephants of my own.

Braino said...

I think that Woody's cake turned out exactly the way Zipper wanted. It's a great cake I bet it didn't look like open graves in person. I found the missing 8 on the clock cake, isn't that it where the 2 is suppose to be? Look at the 2 in 12 it is quite different than the 2 in the two spot.
Happy New Year

Deborah in California said...

Doesn't that really say FLAPPY New Year? And how DOES a person/animal/thing have a flappy new year, anyway?

And as for the purple poo-dles ... Seeing something like that on New Year's morning might push some folks onto the wagon. (Or send them in search of a drink to erase the memory.....)

A Happy, Healthy New Year, Jen & John, and thanks for all the giggles in 2009.

Lucia Winter said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Lucille Ball Jr. said...

LOL!
Happy New Year!

Piper said...

thanks for starting 2010 with elephants!

lisa said...

I want a nappy new year, It's been so long since I've enjoyed a good nap! Can you tell my children to cooperate? Maybe a cake could do it for me!

Angel said...

That last one almost looks like it says "Jlappy New Yeas"

Almost looks like the baker had the New Years I had, complete with slurring words and drunken texts that make no sense.

Michelle said...

I received your Cake Wrecks book for Christmas and must say you keep me laughing! I love your sense of humor and your wit! Keep up the good work!

Zocktastic said...

I don't know what this says about my sanity, but I saw an open grave in that first cake, too.

Nappy blob blob!

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

That horrible orangy red one made me think it was some kind of horrific bug with pinsirs at the end and a giant egg sack attached to it's rear. Oddly enough in a post about elephant cakes it didn't occur to me that it could've been an elephant... but after some deliberately searching for it I discovered the "elephant" head! It's like one of those magic eye things... you just need to look hard.

Anonymous said...

If the purple six legged things in #3 are supposed to be Octoroks from the Legend of Zelda series, they're a pretty good rendition. Somehow I don't think that's what they were going for tho.

deemack said...

Zippers and Woody must really know how to party!

librarylea said...

Oh my gosh. After you all said it, I finally see it - 50! There were pink elephants carousing on giant cookies at my local grocery store on New Year's Eve. I had no idea why. Thanks, Cake Wrecks, for helping me understand that pink elephants on baked goods are not an isolated incident.

Anonymous said...

Nappy New Yeas, Cake Wrecks!
I must admit, I just saw varying shades of parts of the anatomy best left covered.
The first one a 50? Thanks commenter 1:)

Adrienne said...

Fun Fact: One of the oldest gay bars in Dallas is called "Zippers" which made the first cake even MORE hilarious.

Sixxlet said...

On the last cake, it doesn't say "yeas". It says Happy New Year. It is just a fancy 'r'. In fact, it is the same way I make my cursive 'r'.

Red Wolf said...

Two questions:

1. Are those purple ticks?

2. Does that clock have two 6's?

WV: juedgt. If you ate one of those cakes, juedget indigestion.

Lisa said...

Methinks Sixxlet protests too much.

Lisa said...

Oh and P.S. I definitely think the clock maker got confused after the 7 and started counting down for a minute there... "five, six, seven, SIX, uh... NINE!"

Coffee Lovers said...

So... in the first cake... those aren't open graves then? What are they???

Oh! I see... I had to read in the comments and someone posted the cake is a big number! Now I see it! Who would spend flour, eggs, sugar, etc... to make such horrible cakes??

Havoc said...

I think someone named Woody should always try to be best friends with someone named Zippers.

Those open graves look like empty, for those not in the know, sardine cans. Kipper snacks cans for those of us in the know on the Atlantic Coast.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else notice that on the first cake it says "from Zippers"?

Lindsey said...

These cakes are great!

Fanboy Wife said...

Happy New Years!

Miranda said...

Oh yay, just what I needed for my hangover! lol

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice there are two sixes on the clock cake?

sudaki said...

What on EARTH is that orange thing? I keep coming up with different theories - and none of them are G-rated. :(

Sabrina said...

I laughed so hard at these. Thanks! I needed that!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

"Happy New Yeas"--A 'Sopranos' New Year's cake? 0_o (j/k)

Wow, these frighten me. Especially the one with the 'graves' (I've looked at it more than 10 times and I still can't figure it out). 0_0 Pink elephants also for some reason remind me of "heffalumps and woozles'--scary stuff!!

Anonymous said...

Jay Leno seems to be a fan, he was showing some wrecks which I first saw here. Congrats on being so influential.

Jaime said...

Um, so it's now January 5th, well 6th. I'm going back through as I usually do when I am waiting for the baby to fall asleep, and I just now noticed the the first elephant cake was on a big #50. There was just too much else going on there. I just had to share.

Anonymous said...

Um, that cake has two 6s on it...

Anonemouce said...

I stared and stared and wondered why no one mentioned the obvious graves cheerfully decorated for those poor little pink elephants to fall into their demise. Then I saw the giant 50 materialize from amid the clutter of silly string.

Jessica said...

is it just me or does it say 5, 6, 7, 6, 9, 10?

Anonymous said...

YEAAS
NAPPY BLOB BLOB!

Anonymous said...

I would be embarrassed to admit this, but I'm willing to bet other people made the same mistake.

The first aproximate fifteen times I looked at the first picture, I saw a bunch of dead pink elephants lying on weird colored ground near a few open graves. What I didn't see until way, way later was that it's a bunch of dead pink elephants lying on a colorful giant 50. I would say I need new glasses, but oddly, I doubt it.

So, does anyone else think Dumbo has gotten full and total revenge? (You know, for what the pink elephants did when he was hallucinating?)
-Madison