Monday, November 16, 2009

Foiled Foliage

Monday, November 16, 2009

"Hello, Miss? I wish to make a complaint about this cake I purchased not half an hour ago from this very bakery."

[looking cake over] "Oh, yes, that's our Norwegian Leaves design. What's wrong with it?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with it: these are real leaves, that's what's wrong with it."



"No, of course not! Those are just icing. Look!" [shuffling leaves]

"Look, Miss, I know real dead leaves when I see them, and I'm looking at some right now."

"No, they're icing. Remarkable leaves, the Norwegian ones, aren't they? Beautiful foliage."

"The foliage don't enter into it! You put real leaves on my cake!"

"No, they're not real, they're just shining in accords."

"Shining in accords? What does that even mean?"

"I dunno; I'm just trying to stick to this Monty Python sketch as closely as possible."


Emily E., it's like a pun. Or a, what you call it, palindrome. Yeah.

NOTE: Yes, folks, they really are real leaves. Kinda gives a new meaning to "all natural ingredients," doesn't it?

- Related Wreckage: The Word "Holy" DID Come to Mind...

Erica Gamet said...

Kudos on the MP reference...FYI...John Cleese and Michael Palin totally just did today's CW commentary in my head! ::wipes tears from eyes::

katrotta said...

Um, I know that fiber in your diet is supposed to be good.. But um not when I'm eating cake..

Dead Parrot! said...

This must be from a bakery in Notlob, yes? But the real question, I suppose, is, "Does it talk?" 'Cause that'd just be freaky. ;-)

Kimberly Chapman said...

::hearts you::

drgns4vr said...

Now that's recycling!

WV desesedd The leaves on that cake are desesedd.

JHill said...

That. Is. Gross.

PS. Waiting for you to parody the Tobaccanist Sketch here next!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7j-jS9Vuec

maya said...

old crusty leaves for old crusty dudes? Sorry Bryan and Milton. But the fiber might be helpful, too. although, the leaves might just be asleep...

Half Assed Kitchen said...

Mmm...crunchy.

noodle said...

AAAAAGGHHH!!!!! I love EVERYTHING about it! monty python forever.

Amanda M. said...

Ew. I can taste the dirt already...

Anonymous said...

Poor, poor leaves... Pinin' for the fjords.
I cannot even imagine a scenario in which putting dead leaves on a cake could make sense. I would love a glimpse into this wreckreators head, just for a second!

Tinti said...

How old was the decorator? Looking at the handwriting he couldn't be much younger than the two birthday "kids"...

Kristin said...

(singing) Dead leaves on the dirty cake...

Anonymous said...

Yuck - maybe it comes with bonus bugs on it too. Also, what's with the icing being different colors? This is a true wreck!

Anonymous said...

They are leaves, and not even pretty leaves. I mean if they at least were pretty leaves it wouldnt be as bad.

Or...

Maybe if they were not thrown on the kake in an ugly pile they wouldnt be so bad?? Or...

Anonymous said...

what is the concept? Just dump them in the middle? no pattern, no design? did they try to carry it uncovered and the leaves blew onto it?

is it a reference to the decay and wilting life of the old men? is it for roughage (they may need it)?

Chelsie said...

Hahaha

Anonymous said...

To be fair, by that age, Milton and Bryan probably could use that extra, er, "roughage." Although it's probably never before been worked into their diet this way.

Never thought I'd say this, but I think I'd rather eat Grape-Nuts on a cake. Or gravel. Wait- same difference.

Em said...

Here's hoping they washed them.

wv: dond: now we dond our autumnal apparel

Galadriel said...

Did...did they WASH them?

I kind of thought those were birth years, not ages. Hm.

Margaret said...

Those would be "Ex-leaves".

Drawn to Caricature said...

Any effort to further the cause of the "parrot sketch" is fine with me!
Not sure I want mouldy dead leaves on my cake though, yuk!

coeurdechoeur said...

For when you want your cake to be high in fiber!

WV: shondela - If Martin Short and Nelson Mandela were in a relationship, the media would call them 'Shondela'.

Anonymous said...

Did one of these old guys tick someone off at the bakery? Too many Saturdays spent taking advantage of the free coffee refills, complaining loudly about their wives?

wv: degestso- Thattharcake lookshardta degestso Iwonteatit.

*MagPie* said...

If the two birthday boys are as old as the cake would leave us to believe, perhaps they're too senile to notice.

HorribleLicensePlates said...

Let's burn 'em.

Miranda said...

WHAT THE HELL. A dog could have peed on those. AAAGGGHHHHH

Trevor said...

Not only is it bad that they put real leaves on the cake, but it's just UGLY. Yuck!

Kashmir said...

For a future wreck, do you think you can conjure 'Eric the half bee'? That's one of my favorites and downright singable too!

Hannah said...

Ewwww.

Is that even legal? How unhygenic!

gategeek said...

Wait....where's the palindrome?? O.o

capri-chan said...

Haha, I saw that first line, and smiled because the phrase "not half an hour ago" just reminded me of the Dead Parrot sketch for some reason.

And then you said "Norwegian Leaves," and I realized that thinking of the Dead Parrot sketch was not a coincidence.

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, I wanna order either a pile of dead leaves, or else you can pipe on, 'The autumn of your life is over. Bwahahahaha.' But I think the leaves are more subtle. Either way, don't sugar-coat it."

heartfruit said...

I've eaten maple leaves at a Japanese party. They had been baked into the center of cookies... I gather they were to be considered a bit of a delicacy or maybe our hosts were pulling our leg, it's really hard to know but they tasted mostly of cookie.

Taylor@myolderbrothers said...

I hate not getting the reference! Can someone post a link to the skit?

I feel like an outsider, which is something I come to the blogosphere to avoid!

Kelly H said...

Hooray for Monty Python!!! Love it, love it, love it!!

Anonymous said...

A cake with DIRTY leaves and a modified Monty Python skit makes me love you even more.

Thanks for helping me start my day with some awesome. ♥

Jenn said...

heh heh heh, beautiful foliage.

Very nice. :)

Jenn

Andrea from CA said...

Ew. Not only is this cake extremely ugly, but it looks really lazily done, like someone slapped it together when they realized "Oops, we forgot to make this order!" Unless there's some kind of inside joke we don't know about, anyway.

WV: carless. When bakers keep delivering wrecks, they soon find themselves carless. And businessless.

Oh, Mandy said...

This could be a failed spin-off of carrot cake-- 'limp leafy salad greens cake.' They should put some jockeys on it.

But do you think it's vegan?



WV: 'antranit'-- The bedbug couldn't finish the race, so the antranit instead.

kostia said...

"It's not a palindrome. The palindrome of Bolton would be Notlob!"

Anonymous said...

I see what you did there... that was too good for words!

tjbmurph said...

I'm not sure what makes me the bigger nerd, getting the Monty Python reference or recognizing that there were (most likely) Norway Maple leaves on the cake...

Anna said...

Classic! Though I did wish you had seen the whole routine through to the end. Would've been so cool!

And another question: is this for one person or two persons? Because if it's just one, is he turning two ages at the same time? Quite a feat!

greyfuzzy said...

To me, the true idiocy of this is that it probably took just as much time to go outside and collect the leaves (which, albeit not pretty, at least appear intact and not crumbled or bug-eaten)as it would have to roll out some fondant and cut with a leaf-shaped cutter... and THAT, at least, would have produced an edible cake.

Anonymous said...

It's not a pun, it's a PARROTY! Ahaha! What do I win?

Some leather goods, you say? A belt in the mouth and a boot in the...

Jasry said...

Everyone should start their day off here. Not during breakfast, tho; that can get dangerous, what with the spitting of beverages and/or upchucking of solid foods. ;-)
(Of course, now I'm going to waste a good chunk of time over at youtube watching MP skits.)

blueiguana said...

LOL - This post is funny on so many levels. One of your "best."

Perhaps the bakery thought that they meant "leaves" with four M's and a silent Q.

Diana said...

They're not even ATTRACTIVELY ARRANGED! I have ceased my Walpoleing activities and went in search of tasty comestibles. Or something.

The best part of Monty Python were the skits that didn't make it to AMerican TV.

Maybe the recipient is meant to run and jump into the cake?

Anonymous said...

I am not a Monty Python fan in the least, so I think I missed the in-jokes of the commentary, but as far as the cake goes... further proof that the United States is not a culture that values the elderly.

This would never have happened in Japan. :)

--kate

Natalie said...

This takes wreckage to a new level, although I would like to have heard the customer order the cake.

Rebecca F. said...

Well, at least the real leaves are very artfully arranged!

Or not so much....

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I totally got that it was the parrot sketch before I read the end, so I am now very proud of myself. Now you need to do the Fish Slapping Dance somehow, with cakes.

R. said...

For serious? Who would even THINK to do such a thing, let alone GO THROUGH with it.

Mind. Boggled.

WV scrovell: put down your forks/spoons, you need a scrovell to eat this cake.

Anonymous said...

Taylor@myolderbrothers:

Go here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjOSLCR2hE

Jayme said...

wow.
Kinda reminds me of the attacking butterflies/rose petals cake.

WV: Britenwa - something on a cake that is NOT supposed to be there!

Joe said...

Maybe Bryan Milton someone doesn't know how old he is, or else he's not telling. Could be 77, could be 80. And don't peek under the leaves, in case any chihuahuas have been by to... leave more icing.

diddleymaz said...

Gumby cake decorating....

Jimmy said...

Too bad about those leaves having "gone to join the Choir Invisible." Someone should've banged the whole cake against the bakery counter, though.

Anonymous said...

Pineing for the fields!

Christina M. said...

Hooray for MP! But the leaves on this cake are SOOOO wrong. I've ordered bags of edible flowers, but never leaves, and certainly not brown dried ones...

amanda said...

How unsanitary! Mold. Slug trails. Bird poop. Ecchhh.

If those leaves had not been nailed to the cake with frosting, they'd be pushing up the daisies!

wv ousnoide- I would have shot off some ousnoide remarks to that wreckerator.

Terry Lee said...

okay, that MP skit was pee-in-my-pants hi-lar-ious! thanks for the link!

all i can say is, poor bryan. poor milton. sad cake, and even sadder that they had to share a birthday cake!

Lauren said...

Ewwwwwww...

But I love your Dead Parrot Sketch references. A true classic!

WV: Galli. Galli, do those leaves look nasty!

Melissa (& Billy) said...

It'll make the cake a bit...crunchy...

Blargh! I know that edible flowers sometimes end up on a cake but this takes that idea a bit too far.

WV: Disti--These don't look like icing leaves, even from a disti!

Anonymous said...

Pining for the fiords, I believe.

mindflex said...

oh yum, i love leaves

Joe said...

Whoa! lol Trying again, this time with caffeine:

Maybe someone didn't know how old Bryan Milton is, or else he's not telling. Could be 77, could be 80. And don't peek under the leaves, in case any chihuahuas have been by to... leave more icing.




I'm sure no one cares but me. Still...

Anonymous said...

Python! I <3 you even more.

I can see putting fresh flowers on a cake (as long as you're not shoving the stems into the icing) - they've presumably been grown in a greenhouse, been washed, and many varieties are edible anyway. Leaves? Covered in squirrel pee, sat on the ground, and THEY'RE ROTTING. And then thrown onto the cake in a way that does NOTHING to attract the eye. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

We just wanted to thank you for brightening up our day at work! We have figured out how to get up to four people around a single computer at a time to look at (and sometimes even to comment on!) your site before management gets suspicious.

That is, unless the laughter is uncontrollably loud at the sight of a particular day's posts, or in the case of today, if no one goes to youtube looking for Monty Python.

Thanks, Cake Wrecks!

-- The Office

Kevin said...

The people who ordered the cake may have wanted it maple flavored...but you can't get flavoring from maple leaves that way!

Amy said...

Did they *wash* the leaves first? You never know where the things landed when they fell! YUK!

~Amy B-H

Amber said...

Yuck. I didn't even use real leaves in my wedding decor because of sanitary issues (plus I figured the venue wouldn't be keen). I can see using (specially chosen) real flowers but come on...

Surfie said...

Ew! I wonder if they even bothered to wash the leaves first. They could have POO on them! *GAG*

Trish said...

What makes this especially funny for me is that those leaves are Norwegian Maple tree leaves. This is the tree that was planted as a shade tree in my neighborhood a very long time ago and now grows everywhere (local nickname: God's Dandelions). Which makes you wonder if they just picked those leaves up off the street. Euw.

Sabrina said...

YUCK!

Jiminycricket said...

@Anony.1:09-- I actually thought the squirrel-pee covered, rotting leaves did a LOT to attract the eye; it's just that I then recoiled in horror. In fact, I'm having trouble not nervously staring at them!

@Anony.kate-- I agree that the US doesn't value the elderly, but not that this couldn't happen in Japan, if the cookie story I just read here is true.


I wonder if Jen knows of some cakes made with SPAM?

Darla said...

Reminds me more of the "Trade Description Act" sketch.

kaeRock said...

Oh man, the worst part about this wreck is it isn't even an edible one!

Sara said...

Yup, as others have said, I believe it is "Pining for the Fjords."

So funny. Love me some Python.

Lorraine said...

EEEEEUUUUUWWWW!! Gross. What if the tree was sprayed with something? What if a squirrel pooped on the leaf? Or used it for little squirrely-butt toilet paper? What if a bird crapped on it or a worm crawled on it? Gross! Gross! Gross! I live in Michigan, where we value our beautiful autumn, but not THIS much!

Anonymous said...

PINING FOR THE FJORDS!!

(There -- it moved!)

Laura R

Anonymous said...

yay for monty python! i think i'm going to request a monty python themed cake for my birthday this year...

redraven said...

Thanks Jen - the parrot sketch is a fabulous way to start out a Monday!
You always make me smile.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Bryan and Milton were lumberjacks-- hence the dead tree matter cake theme. :D



"He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps, he likes to press wildflowers..."

Meredith said...

Those leaves are dead-- if they weren't stuck in icing, they'd be pushing up daisies. Those are EX-LEAVES!

Juno said...

I love you, you did the Dead Parrot Sketch!! Beautiful!

Catherine said...

I have to say, I assumed the numbers were birth years and not ages--who the heck named their kid "Bryan" in 1934?

Anonymous said...

Hope the recipients of this cake weren't "stunned" by it. I won't go any further with that, except to say I have an urge to go watch "Weekend at Bernie's" now...


wv: "mortifi"-- really? no kidding!

Anonymous said...

@Catherine--

Brian Keith? Brian Wilson?

I've heard it on a few older gents. It's one of those names that caught fire in the 1970s, to be sure, just like "Emma" and "Jacob" had been lying dormant for decades, but now there are 5 in every first grade class.


esist: I think it'd be esist if we just name everyone "Pat" or "Chris."

Anonymous said...

P.S. I only know one young "Milton," but who's to say? :)

Joelle said...

I just gagged. A whole lot.

turtlepeep said...

Horrifying, germy, real leaves on cake + Monty Python reference = awesome Cakewreck!

feathergirl said...

I bet those leaves make the cake taste more natural.

No? No? I got nothing. That's weird.

Stephanie said...

All-natural ingredients indeed... I think I'll pass on this one.

Q said...

Ewww....but the Monty Python sketch ftw!

AlisonH said...

Did you see you on the Washington Post?! http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/16/AR2009111602187.html near the end, topping off the whole subject.

Red Wolf said...

I think those leaves have kicked the bucket.
They're pushing up daisies.
They are "ex" leaves.

(Not to be confused with ex-lax which you might need after eating this cake.)

WV: "sovely" as in, "This cake is not s' ovely"

ladycrim said...

I just hope the cake isn't Crunchy Frog-flavored...

Artemis said...

But you missed the part where the cake is stuffed with "crunchy dead frogs", which were first "dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6uLfermPU

:) Thanks for another winner!

archersangel said...

there have to be better ways to get fiber

Chromesthesia said...

Ew.
I hoped they washed those things.
I don't want LEAVES on my cake
Though I like them.

baby cribs said...

I don't know if I would be annoyed with the way they answer your questions. They are real leaves and they are not pretty. It is very obvious in the picture.

Becky said...

I hope they at least rinsed any potential bugs off of it first. At least they didn't nail them to the cake to get them to stay on...

Also, I just saw a Baskin Robbins ice cream cake commercial that looked like 3D wrecks dancing on top of cakes. At least it did to me. I blame your site. In a good way.

JHill said...

Maybe it's a cake for (Lord) Byron and (John) Milton.

Maybe there's a hidden code in their most famous writings.

Maybe the leaves are part of an initiation into some secret society.

Maybe I need to stop reading my Dan Brown book for a little while.

NYCGirl said...

Frankly, the leaves are the most visually appealing part of the cake. Hope they were washed thoroughly, though.

Linda said...

They should have at least put a rake on the cake.

ksaldria said...

This is an ex parrot...

Bubbleknight said...

If you were going to stick dead, dirty leaves all over the cake, wouldn't you at least try to at least find pretty leaves?

Megan said...

Those leaves wouldn't voom if you shot 4,000 volts through them.

Love love love it! (Well, except for the aforementioned dead leaves.)

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Yum?

Mother (Re)produces. said...

Mmmmmm, Yummers! I'd go check the bakery parking lot right now for dog poo, 'cause that's surely where these came from.
Oh, sorry; not putting anybody off their lunch, am I?

Elisabeth Neveux said...

it would be ok if it was nicely done(japanese sweets makers use mapple leaves to decorate sometimes)...but they should choose carefuly the leaves,and not just drop them and make them look like some old leaves some people walked on XD

Anonymous said...

I was hearing the parrot sketch in my head before I'd read through the post, hearing those voices talking about cake...
Anne
WV imate... I'm not saying anything, we're supposed to keep this clean, right?

SAVanVleck said...

Yes, and there is the little matter of saying "Happy Birthday" with dead fall leaves, to two gentmen aged 77 and 80.

Amy said...

He's kicked the bucket! He's shuffled off his mortal coil! This! Is an EX-! PARROT!

Ingeborg said...

bahaha! Oh man. Nothing like crowning a wreck with Monty Python!

WildaBeast said...

You're luck to have leaves! I used to have to get up at 3 in the morning, eat a cake topped with hot gravel, and go work at the mill for 29 hours!

Bree said...

There's method actors and now, we know there are method bakers out there. I think having misshapen icing leaves would have been better (and more tasty too).

I also have to mention that as I'm typing this comment, my word verification is senil. As in, I hope Bryan and Milton are senil enough not to realize there are dead leaves on their cake.

Mandy said...

*screams* AAAAHHHHH!!!!

I LOVE that you punned the Parrot sketch! YESSSSS!

I knew I loved you!

Anna said...

I think I just peed my pants!!! LOL
That was AWESOME!!!! What a great way to put a MP reference inyo your blog. Ok Jen your now my new best friend.
"It wouldn't zing if you put 4 million volts through it!!"

Love IT!!!!

Reo said...

I wouldn't want a slice of that cake. Not even if it was "Waffer Theen!"

joanne said...

@Diana--interesting twist! Instead of jumping OUT of a cake (which could get expensive, requiring lots of cake and bakery architecture skills I imagine. Just get a cheap sheetcake, throw leaves on it, and jump INTO the cake. whee! Great way to wreck a wreck!

Anonymous said...

Would've been awesome if you made a "Norwegian Wood" reference. Nasty cake all around, though.

Anonymous said...

What kind of ripping-up-all-night party is it where you go to celebrate Byron and Milton?
Together? With real leaves?
At first I thought we were on the outside of an enormous 'in joke', but... I don't think we are.
I think the baker is as lost as us on this puzzle.

Dawn said...

So I'm over half a year late to this party, but I feel I should point out - the fact that they're Norwegian leaves made me laugh particularly because there *are* fjords in Norway.
But they couldn't be pinin', I suppose, because they're deciduous leaves, not needles.