Sunday, October 4, 2009

Tour Wreck - UPDATE

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Hi all,

Unfortunately, disaster has struck our CW "World" Tour: John is currently in the ICU in a Dallas hospital with pneumonia, and now I've been hit with the sick stick as well. I had hoped to make it to the Austin show today by hopping a flight out this morning, but, well, let's just say my "gut instinct" is to stay near the "porcelain throne." Heh. (Ug.)

I cannot tell you how heart sick I am over this.

As it stands right now, we are canceling the Austin and Kansas City tour stops. Depending on how John and I are doing, we may still be able to make it to Bethesda and/or New York City, but it's too soon to say. Stay tuned to my Twitter feed for all the gory details, and I'll also update here on the blog when I know more.

Thank you all for your well-wishes, and please know that I am so truly sorry. (Especially for the bakers - guys, I promise I will make this up to you somehow.) A re-scheduling is not completely out of the question, but we'll just have to see what happens.

In the meantime, prayers, warm wishes, good thoughts, rain dances, etc., are all very much appreciated. It really stinks to be sick and alone away from home.

UPDATE: More bad news: in addition to the pneumonia, John has developed a staph infection in his blood. He's in critical condition, and so won't be leaving the ICU - much less the hospital - for many days. I'm moving to a hotel closer to the hospital so I can be with him, and I'm afraid this means that the rest of the tour is off. :(

Thank you all again for being so wonderful. Believe it or not, John is still moderating your comments from his hotel bed (talk about an addiction...), so please comment here if you'd like to say hello to him. Better yet: tell him your best joke. He's bored, and needs the laughs right now.

(Hey all! Anne-Marie here! Don't worry, I'm robust and healthy up here in Maine, publishing your comments like crazy! 334 as of a minute ago! John, Jen and all their little viral buddies are loving all the jokes and well wishes. Thanks so much!)
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Melanie said...

Oh, Jen! We wish you both a speedy recovery. I'm sure everyone will be nothing but understanding. Get well soon!

Nicole McGarry said...

Jen & John - No worries! Just get to feeling better... You're in our thoughts!

~Nicole McGarry
Owner & Cake Designer
Wicked Cakes

Jenny said...

get well soon, both of you.

xxxxx

littlemissellie said...

Jen, you poor thing. I'm following your 'world' tour from britain, i really hope you and john feel better soon.

starification said...

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear! I hope you and your husband feel better :(

Lauren said...

My family is wishing you and Jon a safe and speedy recovery. Our prayers and thoughts are with you.

I see that the rain dances are working.

Anonymous said...

Terribly sorry to hear you're both ill. Best wishes for speedy recovery!

Sally in Austin & daughter
:)

p.s. glad I checked the web site!

again...feel better ~

Gaurweth said...

I hope you two get better soon!

SATURDAY IN THE PARK said...

That's awful (you both being sick and away from home, not the cancelled tour stops)! Get better and don't worry about it. People will obviously understand!
-Kate

Thia said...

So sorry that you guys aren't well! Feel better soon!

JoAnn said...

Take care of John (and yourself!) Don't worry about the Wreck fans. We will be sad to miss you in Bethesda but sadder because you're sick.
Love you guys. Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhhh! I hope things turn out okay! That sucks! >_<

Don't worry about us, we're too busy worrying for you and John. Focus on getting better, kay?

anchan said...

Goodness, I really do hope you both recover quickly! Sending you special thoughts and prayers xxx

PS Been following your fab blog for a while, but first time to comment!

Silvergoth said...

Oh NOES!! You poor kids! It's awful to be sick, but to be sick and far from home is just dreadful!

I'm enjoying the heck out of the new book, and letting my friends know about it. Thanks so much for the LOLs!

Anonymous said...

Another follower from Brit-land here, but just to wish you both a very very speedy recovery.

I'm sure I speak for most if not all of your fans when I say you should take as much time off from the tour as you need. Look after yourselves first and foremost, your fans aren't going anywhere.

Joanna @ The Casa said...

It does suck to be alone, away from home, and sick. I'm sorry about your hubby. We'll keep you in our thoughts and do a rain dance for you both.

Don't go to the book signing sick, missy. That's bad for everyone involved.

Get well soon!!!

jackie31337 said...

Hope you both feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

Jen & John - have lit a candelabra for you both. tessa

Anonymous said...

best wishes, prayers, and a ritual dance around my new yucca plant :) for the both of you. PS I find panadaol very helpful for stomach pain.

Anne said...

Aw, sorry to hear that! Being sick and away from home really does suck! Best wishes to you both, and I hope John's released from hospital soon!

*hugs to both, on general principles, and wombles off to set up a get-well-soon raindance*
Irish follower

WV - buming; being sick and not at home would be really buming me out

weewiccababe said...

oh get well soon both of you
get well vibes all the way from Scotland
Debbi
xx

Tamsyn said...

I hope you both feel much better soon. xx

Anonymous said...

No probs on this end -- much love to you both,

Chicken soup wishes,
Mo

Drawn to Caricature said...

You poor things! Hope you both feel better soon! Not a good thing to happen anytime, but when you're away from home, it's a nightmare!

Anonymous said...

Best wishes and aroha (love!) from New Zealand

MC from NZ

Babsiegirl said...

Oh, how horrible! I'll pray that you both will soon be well!

thefourpates said...

Jen, you poor poor woman! And John, man that's scary! It is horrible to be so sick far from home! I'm totally bummed that I can't meet you guys today in Austin but understand completely. You both get healthy and your faithful wreckies will be here ready for that possible resched! Get well soon!

Genevieve said...

I'm disappointed to hear you won't be in Austin today, but your health is far more important than my entertainment! You two get some rest and feel better!

Jessy said...

Feel better soon, Jen and John!
By the way: love the book!

Sila Lumenn said...

I'm so sorry your both sick! It's terrible to be sick and away from the comforts of home. That being said, if you have to be sick and in the hospital, you can't do better than Dallas. We have wonderful doctors and hospitals.

Speedy recovery for you and John.

knitorpurl said...

So sorry to hear about both of you. Take care and recover- we all love the wacky things people do with icing, but not enough to have you guys put your health in jeopardy.

Get well!

Heather said...

Thinking of you!
Hope you both are better soon.

Being A Mom said...

It's a big rainy, muddy mess in Austin anyways! (No more rain dances please!) ;)

Hope you both get better really soon. Being sick when you aren't at home is a real drag.

Christy

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Wow, I hope John is feeling better soon and that you are up on your feet again too!

Anonymous said...

Oh no, I've had walking pneumonia twice. Keep trying to drink liquids and rest, rest, rest. I hope that both of you get well soon!

Anonymous said...

Jen,

I'm just a hop, skip and a jump away in Fort Worth, if there's anything at all that you need I can help. I also work for a big hospital system in the metroplex, not sure where John is, but I can try and help if he needs anything as well. I'm at blgrigsby at yahoo dot com.

Get better!
Bonnie

Strawrose said...

Oh no! I'm sure everyone will understand. I wish you a speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

You poor dears! Wishing you the speediest of recoveries!

D.B. Echo said...

Wow. This is seriously clasically bad stuff. Someday I'm sure you'll have a good laugh over this, but for now - just focus on getting better.

Sheri said...

Oh, what a huge disappointment for you and John! The rest of us will miss out, but I feel horrible for both of you. When you come to KC, please bring a very healthy stomach and appetite, because the BBQ is too good to pass up for gatorade/7up.

Under Neat That
We'll Miss You,
Sheri in KC

Pam said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear you're both unwell. Get better soon!

Kerry said...

Oh, Jen, that stinks. I'm so sorry. Sending lots of healing vibes to both of you.

Anonymous said...

I know what is really going on. You have been sneaking around eating cupcake cakes and it finally backfired! Admit it!

Kidding. Hope you are both feeling much better very soon and am very sorry that you caught the bug!

Shelley in So. Illinois

doula_char said...

Jen,

Thank you for all your hard work. Tours can be extremely draining, even without getting sick!

All our prayers and well wishes are with you-this bug really stinks!

Feel better soon, there can always be another tour later.

Cat's Creations said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. It looked like you were having such fun on your tour. I hope you both get better quickly.

Estir_BunE said...

get well vibes sent to both of you... take care!

F said...

Please worry not. AT ALL. Austin is a zoo right now anyway w/ the Austin City Limits festival going on. Come another time but GET WELL first. So sorry you guys are stuck in a foreign (Dallas) place away from home. Being sick in a hotel is not that comforting...Wishing you and your husband the best and many get well wishes too.
Frances

Aramis said...

So sorry, guys! My best friend has pneumonia too and it's no joke. Focus on getting well now. We're expecting years of wrecky goodness to come from the pair of you.

Julie H. said...

Praying for you

Trish said...

Bummin' hard here in KCMO. None the less, many prayers for wellness.

Brigette said...

Feel better!! Please tweet if you need anything brought to you in Dallas.

Ciao Chow Linda said...

So sad you're both ill at such an importune time. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

hypotheticalwoman said...

Oh, sweetie, I wish you both speedy recovery - best wishes especially to John. I have done the pneumonia thing and it is not fun at all. I really hope he doesn't have it as bad as I did and will get over it much faster.
- LIZ

Lybertygirl said...

Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way!

jeandavee said...

Love your book! Hope you both feel better soon.

Lioness said...

Just a thought, but what if the bakers and the Cake Wrecks lovers go to the event anyway? And have a great wrecky get together!

Certainly they can organize themselves enough to still have the Mini-Wreck competition and enjoy cake in your honor! Right?

I can't see why wreck reporters couldn't take lots of pictures and send them to you to share with us all.

I don't live in Texas, and I don't want to speak for everybody else, but I think its entirely doable! The great people who were going to go to those events could make you proud, I'm just sure of it!

Mary Ann said...

aww im sorry youre sick :( im glad i checked the website before i went to work this morning, i guess i will have to eat my wreaky cup cake. hope yall get to feeling better soon, Austin always has a spot for yall so come on down whenever you get a chance again!

weirdmom said...

Oh that is terrible. Was looking forward to meeting you today but alas. Get well soon and I will be praying for you. That sounds really tough for both of you.

Tari said...

Wishing you both a speedy recovery.--I'll be glad to do all but the rain dances; it's pretty wet here already.

Rose said...

Sorry to hear you are both ill. Get better soon!

Rose

Joyce Pillow said...

Oh so sorry to hear that, We hope you recover soon. We even had a gift for you. Sending good thoughts your way.

Joyce, Fionna and Tara

mandi said...

Hugs and prayers for Jen and John! You guys please take care of yourselves and don't stress over the tour. Being a beloved internet sensation entitles you to a few sick days every now and then :)

~mandi

Helen said...

Oh no! I'll be praying you both are feeling 100% soon!

Helen in Kansas City

Anonymous said...

I just got over being incredibly ill myself. So i understand the pain. Screw the tour and just focus on getting both of you healthy!

CALpumper aka Crystal said...

Praying, sending good vibes....

Hope you are both better very, very soon!

Anonymous said...

I hope you and John both feel better soon!

Linda

Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better soon! Bummer to be stuck here in Dallas with the weather like it is...

Serena said...

We are praying for both of you!! Get well soon, & don't worry about the tour, you can go on another tour later!

Average Jane said...

So sorry you're both sick! Feel better soon.

Richard said...

Sorry to hear about that - both for your sakes ANC ours (we're in AUS). The rain dances must have preceeded you though, we had inches last night!

Get well soon. Then come visit.

Anonymous said...

get well soon! :(

Gina @ MoneywiseMoms said...

So sorry to hear it! Please take good care. Wishing you both a speedy recovery.

intothethickofit said...

Just get well and, hopefully, Kansas City will get to host you guys another time. Take care!!!

mustangsabby said...

Thinking and sending soothing thoughts to ease coughing and other such ickiness from up here in the cold North (Canada).

Remember one thing as you get better. You and your husband can bring people together in fellowship with your humour and wit with something that is a passion for you. This is an amazing gift, and one that is well worth the wait.

Anonymous said...

Aww, I'm sorry y'all are sick! Hope you feel better.

Karen said...

Oh no! How awful. I hope that you're both feeling better soon.

Robyn said...

Oh, being sick away from home is the worst. Feel better.

Loral said...

Praying for a speedy recovery for both of you! I've been so enjoying your pics from the 'world' tour, your fans are fantastic and they'll completely understand, I am sure :)

Stephanie said...

Ooh, no fun.. praying you two get better quickly!

Kid Icarus said...

Bummer. But my wishes go out to you and hubs...get better!!!

Jael said...

I'll bet a CCC dance would do the trick. All that icing squooshing around under my feet would be awesome.

Anyway, get better soon! Being sick away from home is the worst.

CatLadyDiary.com said...

Cake can wait! I am new to your site and adore it. Take care of yourselves first.

Jael said...

I'll bet a CCC dance would do the trick. All that icing squooshing around under my feet would be awesome.

Anyway, get better soon! Being sick away from home is the worst.

[if this accidentally gets posted twice, you can ignore one of them... lol]

Scotland said...

Get well soon!

ThreeBeans said...

I hope you're feeling better soon and I hope John recovers as quickly as possible and gets out of the ICU :-(

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so very sad for you. (and a little sad for me) I hope you are doing better soon and John is out of the hospital soon.

Kelly said...

That's no good! Hope you are feeling better soon, I'll be praying for you. Please keep us all posted on how you are doing. When you do make it to Kansas City, I will be you with a big bottle of hand sanitizer =)

WriteCards said...

Jen and John, I do so hope you both feel better soon! It's bad enough that one of you got sick but to have both of you down at the same time is just awful! Take care of yourselves and listen to the doctors!

Amy said...

I hope you both feel better soon! I hate being sick in Dallas and I live there, so take care of yourselves and get well!

It a gril!
"Amy"

RudeGirl said...

Jen and John, I feel terrible for you guys. The stress of doing a "world" tour can really put the kibosh on the festivities. Stay in bed, have some chicken soup and keep the TV tuned to Cartoon Network. We'll all still be here when you recover and can WRECK ON!!

Di said...

I'm sorry that you won't make it down here to Austin, but getting better is much more important. I hope you and John are both feeling better very soon. =)

Leslie said...

I hope I speak for everyone in the Kansas City metro area when I say no apology needed. Obviously John's and your health come first. Well wishes your way....rest, have some chicken soup and fingers crossed John is out of ICU as soon as possible.

Debbie said...

Aww, really sorry to hear that! Hope you both feel better soon.

Etiquette Bitch said...

Jen-Oh my, I am SO sorry you and John got sick. I can't help but blame the lovely Chicago weather. Positive get well vibes to both of you.

Feel better. Get lots of fluids, both of you!

Nate said...

Feel better soon, both of you!

Anonymous said...

Take care of yourselves, no apologies please. I am sure we will see you both soon in Austin.

Lalitha Krishnan

andrea said...

Oh no, this is tragic! I hope you are already feeling better. I will recite an incantation for you, just in case I have untapped magical powers.

oontah said...

oh no! feel better soon, both of you!

Jess said...

Oh, dear! You were fine in Denver. Please take care of yourselves and get well soon. You are in our thoughts.

Anne said...

I hope you folks make a speedy recovery! I myself am under the weather today, so I was not going to be able to make it up to Austin to your event today. So I wouldn't be too heartbroken if you did find a way to reschedule...

SerĂ¡ said...

Man! I can't believe that you guys are so sick! That's just crazy.

Well, don't worry about us out here, just take care of yourselves and get better soon!

Jennifer said...

A speedy recovery to you both.

Heidi said...

I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope John has a very short and uneventful stay, and that you are both feeling much better and quickly! Big hugs to you both!

SouthernSugar said...

Awww, Jen and John! I hope you're both feeling better soon and that John gets out of ICU. No fun at all!

Rufus Opus said...

Oh my. Dude(s), I'm totally learning from you for when I go on my whirlwind book-signing tour when, you know, I'm all rich and famous and stuff. (Note to self: Boost Immune System, get caught up on vaccines, take plenty of Vitamin C.)

Oh, and watch out fer the Swine Flu while you're already sick. (Note to self: Schedule whirlwind book tour AFTER the pandemic... but then everyone will be dead... hmmm, this isn't as easy as you make it look.)

Ah, heck, just get better soon!

-RO

Niecey said...

Oh no, I hope you both recover fully and quickly. These things have a way of popping up at such inconvenient times.

threeattic said...

Oh, that's terrible... I'm so sorry! Take care of yourselves and don't worry -- I'm sure your fans will understand!

JanetDavies said...

Oh! I am so sorry to hear that you are both so sick. Warmest wishes, big hugs and healing thoughts are being sent your way.

Shelley Dayton said...

I am so sorry you are sick and away from home! God bless you both.

Nina Million said...

WOW...that sucks in a major way! I'd like to join all the others in sending good thoughts.

If we all think about the same thing at the same time great things can happen! The power of the human mind...etc...(Dr. Who anyone?)

Get better both of you..."seriously"

Naomi Zikmund-Fisher said...

I'm so sorry! Being sick in a hotel by yourself is absolutely the pits. I remember going through this, sitting on the floor of a bathroom in a hotel in San Francisco at 3 AM thinking, "I'm going to die here and no one will ever know." And it's concerning to read the letters "ICU" in a post. Speedy recovery to both of you!

Oh, and as for the dances -- don't forget the head thrusts. We don't want locusts.

Naomi
The Monday Morning Crisis Quarterback

Melissa said...

Jen,

I'm thinking of you and John and hoping for your speedy recoveries! Hopefully you'll be able to come to KC sometime when you're feeling better!

Missy

Nicolasa said...

Oh NO! I am so sorry to hear this! I hope you both feel better soon!

5thsister said...

Take it easy and don't try to do too much too soon. Praying for a speedy and full recovery.

Galadriel said...

Definitely lots of warm wishes.

Anonymous said...

I hope you've not be poisened by a cake wrecker.

I hope you both feel better soon

Angela said...

I hope you both feel better. I was really looking forward to going to Austin today. Hope you reschedule!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! I hope both of you feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that both of you are so sick--hope you get better soon. I'm sure everyone will understand.

Sheila Bennett said...

So, so sorry to hear that John is in ICU and now you are sick as well. Wishing you both a speedy recovery!!

Terry Lee said...

oh my dear lord. i am terribly sorry to hear of john's hospitalization and your illness. if i were closer to dallas, i'd nip over and do my best to nurse y'all back to health!

but dallas has some fine hospitals with excellent ICU nurses, so i'm sure john's in good hands.

jen, drink lots of fluids and rest as much as you can! poor dear.

honestly, it's horrible weather in central texas this morning. hopefully y'all can reschedule when everyone is healthy and the sun is shining.

prayers, positive thoughts and all my best to the two of you! wish i could do more.

hugs,
terry lee

.anna. said...

aw, fargnax! i hope you both feel better soon!
best wishes [WISHWISHWISH] and don't forget to stock up on the chocolate because hey, when you're sick you might as well make sure you feel COMPLETELY better ;)

Chey said...

*hugs* That sounds miserable. D= Being sick is bad enough, but sick away from the comforts of home is even worse! I hope you guys feel better soon!!

mary said...

Dear Jen and John:
I hope you both get better soon. It's terrible to be sick in unfamiliar surroundings without friends and family to comfort you. We send you hugs (especially from my daughter) and warm thoughts.

Mary, Tom and Teela (near Bethesda, MD)
P.S. My in-laws were just visiting this past week and my mother in law laughed all the way through your book. Another convert!

Heidi H said...

Best wishes for a very speedy recovery! You do so much to make our day, I hope our good wishes will help you get better presto!!

Jenn said...

Wishing you both a speedy recovery.

Stephanie said...

Oh wow! I was looking forward to seeing ya'll today, but please stay in Dallas and rest! Get well wishes to both of you.

Kimberly Chapman said...

Oh no! That sucks for you guys. I hope you feel better soon.

I spent the last three days working on a cupcake wreck of epic proportions...I doubt it'll survive long enough for a reschedule. I'll take photos and send them to you because I'm not going to have time to recreate it since I need to start on the figures for my Austin Cake Show entry. :(

Of course my email bounces from your domain claiming I'm a spammer, which I'm not, so I'll have to try getting a separate address or something...

NJS said...

Feel better soon! Your health is more important than a couple of visits.

Anonymous said...

Jen & John,
SOOOOOOO sorry to hear you are not feeling well! (:P) Here is a heart-felt wish for your speedy recovery. Forget the rain dance. It sounds like there's enough rain on the parade already. May you soon be doing a felicity foxtrot instead.
-WM

Michelle said...

Wow, my first comment, and it's to tell you to get well soon!

Prayers to you both.

Squee said...

*hug* We'll miss you in KC, but I hope you guys feel better!

Anne said...

So sorry to hear you are sick! We had to cancel our trip to see you (from Oklahoma) because we've got 2 kids with swine flu! Let's all get better, hmmmm?
-Anne R.

Meri said...

Oh no!

Well wishes to you and John!!

Meri

Anjie said...

So sorry! My thoughts are with both of you to Get "Well" Soon! (Oh wait, misuse of quotation marks!) I REALLY mean Get Well Soon. Sincerely. :)

Jimh. said...

Best wishes from Washington!! Get well!!

Soten~ said...

I'm glad i checked my email before We left, my mom wouldn't have been happy to drive all the way to book people. xD Hope you guys get better!

Alana said...

You and John will be in my prayers! Hope you both feel better very soon.

mollyvh said...

Jen and John,

You both take care of yourself, infections are nothing to be taken lightly. Get better soon, Jon!

Molly

Mary B said...

Speedy recovery!

Brie Williams said...

Feel better John! Our family LOVES Cakewerecks! You both are in our thoughts and prayers.

Fujiyamamama said...

Oh no! The cakes are supposed to be the "wrecks", not you!

Get well soon!

Shinku-Ha said...

I wish i was good with jokes! John, I hope the medical staff is taking good care of you, and that people far funnier than i comment today.

~Get well, hope you get come awesome cakes, and by awesome i do mean fear-inspiring, to encourage a speedy recovery! (Because cake cures all, of course)

Jennifer said...

Feel better soon. We'll be waiting here in Austin, hoping for a reschedule!

Julia said...

I'll be praying for your health! It's never fun being sick, especially when you are away from home! Take Care.

Anonymous said...

Praying for your recovery. Looking forward to your next tour! :)

Anonymous said...

Worrisome stuff! More get well wishes from Northern Virginia. You asked for jokes. How about a really bad one my kids tell all the time?

Q: What do surfers do when they see each other?
A: They wave!

See? I warned you. Really bad. :-)

Rachael said...

Oh no! I hope you both feel better soon! Though I'm disappointed the tour has been canceled, it's way more important that y'all get better.
At least you're in Dallas- my home town has great hospitals! I hope you get the best care ever there.

Emily said...

Get well soon, both of you!

Here's my best bad joke (though it's so horrible it may make you even sicker):

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first turns to the other and says, "Man, it sure is getting hot in here."

The other one replies, "AAAH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

....I'm sorry.

<3 Feel better soon!

alicia said...

Thoughts and prayers with you both!!

Anonymous said...

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it's hot in here". Suddenly the other screams, "AHHHHH a talking muffin!!!" HAHAHA hope this makes you feel better John! P.S. I think the muffins must be Corn, cause this joke sure is corny....hahahahah!

lisadh said...

I am so very, very sorry ya'll have become ill. John, I hope you have a very speedy recovery and you're able to get home soon.
Very selfishly, I hope you both can resume the book tour, maybe after the holidays. Trust me, I will wait for the opportunity to share in the wreckiness.

For now, here are some puns to get you by:

I tried working in a bakery, but was told I wasn't "bread" for it.

What would you get if you crossed a mole with a porcupine? A tunnel that leaks.

Jen said...

Hope you both are feeling better soon!

Anonymous said...

Here is a joke for you!

What the did farmer say when he lost his tractor?


.
.
.
.
.
.



Where the heck is my tractor????

I hope you are both feeling better soon!!

Amanda said...

Aww, poor guys. If you folks need anything, we're more than willing to make a 3 hour drive up from Austin to help you two out in any way possible while you're stuck in the Big D. :(

Ms Snarky Pants said...

Get better soon! We're all thinking of you!

Chelsea said...

Oh dear. Hope that you both heal quickly so you can get back home. Being sick in a strange city is terrible.

Beth said...

Oh man, Jen & John!! Feel better soon, John!

Kaija said...

Hey John what did one autumn leaf say to the other???? "I think i'm falling for you" buh bum chhhh. Its a lame fall pun but it got me a free latte at a local coffee shop. Get better guys! -Kaija

Kayla said...

Hey guys!
I really hope you get well soon.

BUT
I had the Swine a couple weeks ago (ick) (even though it was kiiiind of awesome because I've survived a pandemic), and all I did was read LOTR and wath THIS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmwM_AKeMCk

Not just the first part, the entire thing.
It's really really great, and campy, and delicious.
But I guess only if you're a potthead.

So watch it!
You will be singing the songs to yourselves for weeks to come.

also, as a ps
the word I had to type in to post this was
Pettiou.
what.

lisadh said...

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Rebecca said...

Hope you get feeling better soon. Both of you. <3

I don't have a joke, but I do have a funny website.

http://www.notalwaysright.com/

Meinyay said...

Dear John and Jen,
Please get well soon! Don't worry- your fans will be here for you when you are feeling 100% again! Until then, focus on resting and getting well (John, that means putting away the computer and getting some rest!!!)
So, here's my joke:
Q-What's brown and sticky?
.
.
.
A- A stick!

Feel better yet? No? Well, I tried.
Again, Austin sends it's best wishes for you both to feel better quick!
-Meaghan

Anonymous said...

Hey John, what did the cat have for dessert? Mice cream!

Oot-N-Aboot said...

Wishing you both a speedy recovery! Take care of yourselves, the book tour can wait!

Kristina said...

Sorry to hear about that! I hope you're both feeling better soon!

As for a joke, here's a good one (and by 'good', I mean 'bad'):

"Did you hear about the guy that got the left side of his body torn off?

Yeah, he's all right now."

Carrie said...

Get well soon!

ForkintheRoad said...

My first comment for you too. Been a reader since the beginning though. I guess that makes me a lurker!

I don't know many jokes, but this one has been my favourite since I was five.


What is red, has a tail, and hums?
...
...
...
...
An electric radish!

I hope you both get well soon. :)

Shannon said...

Feel better, both of you! I'd tell John a joke but I am not even remotely funny. However, this site is good for a giggle (unfortunate things posted on Facebook): http://www.lamebook.com/

str4y said...

Okay, I just woke up so these are the best my mind could come up with on short notice -- I hope you feel better!!!!

What brand of cleaning supplies do pirates use?

ARRRRRRm 'n Hammer.

um...
Two guys are incarcerated at the same asylum. Neither wants to be there and the two end up coming up with a plan of escape together.

They watch and wait and finally, one dark and stormy night, conditions are right and they sneak out of the ward. Everything is going great until part of their journey takes them across some high roof-tops. The first inmate takes a running jump and barely makes it. The second man, who has a more nervous temperament sees the near miss and refuses to budge. After a few minutes of arguing, knowing time is short, the first inmate sparks an idea.

"Here's what we'll do," he says. "I'll turn on my flashlight and shine it across to your rooftop. Then you can just walk across on the beam!"

The other man looks at him in incredulity and anger. "What do you think I am, crazy?!?" He glares at his partner in crime. "I know you'll turn the light off when I'm halfway across."

Sho said...

Hope you both get well soon!

rexopolis said...

my best joke:

So, this guy is sitting down to breakfast, drinking his coffee and reading the paper, when he hears a little knock on the door. He goes to open the door, and there's this little snail sitting on the stoop. He thinks, ''Ew! How gross!'' and throws it across the street. About a year later, he's sitting down to breakfast again, drinking his coffee and reading his paper, when he hears another little knock on the door. He goes and opens the door, and the snail says "What the hell was that for?"

so.... my jokes aren't great, but get well soon!

laughing_leo said...

As requested, a little joke to help cheer you folks up!

On the main street in my town there is a bakery. And in that bakery there is a baker of such amazing skill who creates the most intricate and beautiful cakes.

One day, a man walks into the bakery and says "I would like to order a cake for my wife's birthday." And the baker says "Well, what kind of design would you like?" And the man says "Well, she's an optometrist." And the baker says "Excellent! Come back tomorrow, the cake will be ready." So the man goes away and comes back the next day and the baker brings out an amazing cake shaped like a pair of eyes behind giant glasses. It looks so amazingly realistic, the man is astounded, thanks the baker over and over, and leaves.

A few days later, a woman walks into the bakery, looks around and asks the baker to make a cake for her husband's birthday. "What does your husband do?" the baker asked. The woman replies "He's a dentist." And the baker says "Excellent! Come back tomorrow, the cake will be ready." When the woman comes back the next day the baker brings out a cake of a giant smile wearing braces. It looks so amazingly realistic, the woman is astounde, thanks the baker over and over, and leaves.

Word spreads like wildfire all over town of how amazingly realistic the baker's creations and everyone who eats the cakes rave about them to anyone who will listen.

So, a few days later, another woman walks into the bakery, looks around and the baker (whose pride has become slightly swollen with the reviews he's received about his sculpture cakes) asks if there's anything he can help her with - does she want him to make a cake for anyone?

"No, I don't think so." The woman replies. "My husband's birthday is coming up, but, he's a gynaecologist."

(Feel better soon CakeWrecks! Even if you won't come visit us in Canada, we still think you're great!)

Catsnacks said...

Sorry to hear you're both sick and I hope for a speedy recovery!

Q. Why was the little strawberry so sad?
A. Because his mother was in a jam!
Hope that brightened your day a bit :)

Karen said...

Sending prayers your way that you both feel better soon!

Megan said...

Good gravy! A joke from my kids for John:

Q: What do you get when you cross a caterpillar with a turkey?

A: Drumsticks for everyone!


Feel better. (We told you LA should have been on your tour! *grin*)

Lil' Woman said...

Get well soon both of you!! :)
You'll both be in my thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

John and Jen,
Rest, rest, REST and don't worry about us! You need your strength! Here's hoping you get out of that hospital soon. No matter how nice they are, it's not fun to be in there!

I do like the idea of Wreckerators celebrating in your honor in abstentia, though. ;-)

studiorose said...

Hang in there, guys; you'll get through this. So sorry to hear the rest of the tour is canceled; though it does have the positive effect of making our experience in Orlando that much more valuable. (I can say I knew them when they were healthy! LOL) Glad you have each other and at least you can relax now. (Bummer on missing out on all that cake, though.)

Anne Perry said...

My best to both of you. Here's my high school math teacher's favorite joke:

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender leans over the bar to take a look at him, and says "I'm very sorry, sir, but we don't serve your kind here. You'll have to leave."

The piece of string slumps his shoulders and wanders out. The moment he's out of the bar he runs down the street and around a corner. He then ties himself up into a complicated bow and frizzles his sting-ends. He then walks back into the bar.

"Bartender," he sqeaks, "I'd like to order a beer."

Bartender leans over the bar. "Hey, aren't' you that same piece of sting that was in here a few minutes ago?"

"Oh, no, I'm afraid not!"

(hee?)

Nina said...

I'm so sorry you guys got so sick while in Dallas. Hopefully it'll stop raining and you will get to at least a sunny sky while you guys are here! Get better soon! Nina

Anonymous said...

Get well soon! Long time lurker, first time poster. But I wanted to add my thoughts and prayers to everyone else's in the hopes that more volume will help! Here's my lame attempt at making you laugh:

What's brown and sticky?



A stick!

Yes, I know its terrible. If I can coax even a sickly smile, I will be satisfied. Please feel better soon, both of you!

-Kimberly
p.s. I totally spelled my name wrong and had to fix it. I should sleep more...

Lara said...

I don't know where you are at in Dallas, but I am a local gal. If there is anything you need or need to find. Give a shout and us locals will be sure to help.

Megan said...

So sorry to hear you're both under the weather - lots of warm wishes for a speedy recovery! Take care of YOURSELVES first - all else (and all of us!) can wait!

Maggles said...

Poor dears! Many prayers are coming your way!

Here's a bawdy one for John's entertainment:

"The square root of 69 = 8 something.
If you don't get it, it's probably because you don't get it." -- (I forgot the comedian's name!)

chris w said...

So sorry! We are sending hugs, good thoughts, and prayers your way!!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear this...hang in there guys! Let's see, a joke, a joke...can't think of one right now off the top of my head but I'll keep looking.
Love, G

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry! I didn't even get to make it to the show last night because I'm sick, too, but I really wanted to.

I hope you both get better soon!

And as far as jokes go, this was my pre-algebra teacher's favorite.

Q: What does a mermaid wear as underwear?

A: An algae-bra!

Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy.

Alison The Choll said...

I have followed your blog for about a year, and love LOVE the work you guys do! You've created a vast and awesome library of inscrutable wackiness for all the world to enjoy. I live in South Carolina, so I had to dispatch my Portland, Oregon corespondent, Nicolette to your Powell's book signing. She was able to get close enough to take a picture of the sea of butts in front of her, and to allegedly hear Jen's voice. For which I was grateful. (Voyerism rocks!) The news of John's hospitalization is devastating to all of us who care (albeit from afar) about both of you. Good luck, best wishes and know that many, many prayers are with you both.
Alison Boulton

KC said...

Some people will do ANYTHING to get out of a book tour! ;o) Seriously, I hope both of you get better soon.

And John, stop picking up cooties in the hospital!

Heather T said...

I'm sending good health wishes your way all the way from Michigan! For both of you, but especially John -- stop moderating comments and get some rest!

Twirly McSwirl said...

Oh, no! Get well soon!

Here's a joke for you:

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

...because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken SEDAN!

Maria said...

two cannibals were eating a clown.
one looked at the other and said:

"does this taste funny to you?"

*ba-dum, ching!*
thank you, thank you i'm here all week folks, try the veal. and the cake.

get well soon, you crazy kids!! don't worry about us, worry about YOURSELVES!!!!

lasandri said...

hope you guys get better soon! it sucks to be alone and away from home :( my well wishes to John and yourself!

WV: trardle - a tough hurdle. Don't worry, you'll get over this trardle! You are not alone! The internets and all of us are with you and you are in our thoughts.

Jarbig said...

Best wishes to you both. Don't let the hospital getcha! Get well in spite of them!! :)

Marita said...

Feel better soon John! Did you hear the one about the 2 guys in the high rise bar? This big guy in glasses, drunk as a skunk, keeps telling the guy next to him "I betcha if I jump out that window the air currents from the side walk vent'll blow me right back up and onto my barstool!" The other guy says, "yeah, 50 bucks!" So the guy in glasses jumps out the window,and sure enough comes right back up! The other guys says, "I've gotta try this!" so out the window he goes. SPLAT. The bartender turns to the guy in glasses and says, "Superman, you are a shear @@@hole when you're drunk."

Get well soon. I'm wishing you all the best.

Heather Z. said...

Three ducks approach the Pearly Gates. The first one walks up and is asked, "How did you spend your life?" He replies, "Oh. I've been in and out of puddles." It sounded like an honest life for a duck, so he was let into Heaven. The second duck walks up and is asked, "How did you spend your life?" He replies, "Oh. I've been in and out of puddles." He too is welcomed into Heaven. The third duck walks up and says, "Hi! I'm Puddles!"

So very sorry to hear of your illnesses. Get well soon.

Kelly I said...

Austin completely understands! I hope you guys get better and fast.

Here's for John for when he needs a good laugh:

peopleofwalmart.com

You'll either hate me or love me. :)

Enjoy!

Ludmilla said...

Hey John-

What's a Freudian slip?

When you say something but mean your mother!

Barbara said...

A snail gets mugged by a tortoise. When the police asked the snail if he could remember any details, the snail said, "No, it all happened too quickly."

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