Hi all,
Unfortunately, disaster has struck our CW "World" Tour: John is currently in the ICU in a Dallas hospital with pneumonia, and now I've been hit with the sick stick as well. I had hoped to make it to the Austin show today by hopping a flight out this morning, but, well, let's just say my "gut instinct" is to stay near the "porcelain throne." Heh. (Ug.)
I cannot tell you how heart sick I am over this.
As it stands right now, we are canceling the Austin and Kansas City tour stops. Depending on how John and I are doing, we may still be able to make it to Bethesda and/or New York City, but it's too soon to say. Stay tuned to my Twitter feed for all the gory details, and I'll also update here on the blog when I know more.
Thank you all for your well-wishes, and please know that I am so truly sorry. (Especially for the bakers - guys, I promise I will make this up to you somehow.) A re-scheduling is not completely out of the question, but we'll just have to see what happens.
In the meantime, prayers, warm wishes, good thoughts, rain dances, etc., are all very much appreciated. It really stinks to be sick and alone away from home.
UPDATE: More bad news: in addition to the pneumonia, John has developed a staph infection in his blood. He's in critical condition, and so won't be leaving the ICU - much less the hospital - for many days. I'm moving to a hotel closer to the hospital so I can be with him, and I'm afraid this means that the rest of the tour is off. :(
Thank you all again for being so wonderful. Believe it or not, John is still moderating your comments from his hotel bed (talk about an addiction...), so please comment here if you'd like to say hello to him. Better yet: tell him your best joke. He's bored, and needs the laughs right now.
(Hey all! Anne-Marie here! Don't worry, I'm robust and healthy up here in Maine, publishing your comments like crazy! 334 as of a minute ago! John, Jen and all their little viral buddies are loving all the jokes and well wishes. Thanks so much!)
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Tour Wreck - UPDATE
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Search This Blog
Wreck the Halls
NEW! Pre-Order Today!
|
Buy the Book
Buy the NYT Bestseller
What's a Wreck?
What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
tabs
- Fan Faves
- The Classics
The Classics
Awards
Praise for the Book
- “Will have you laughing so hard you’ll forget to eat!”— Washington Post
- “a hilarious winner” — The Oregonian
- “a fantastically gut-busting book”— NPR
- “It’s all here, each wreck a disaster of hilarity.” — BookPage.com
- “Hysterically funny!”— Epinions.com
- “laugh-out-loud funny”— The Times
- “Yates’ sharp humor makes the funny even funnier.” — The Dallas Morning News
- “an amazing laugh-out-loud book”— The Book Triblog
What the fans are saying
- "I was laughing so hard, I couldn't catch my breath."
- "As funny as the blog that started it."
- "WAY better than I expected!"
- "Cake Wreckery at its best!"
- "Wrecktastic!"
Awards
- American Mensa:Top 50 Websites of 2010
- Amazon: Top 10 gift books of 2009
- The Orlando Sentinal “Orbbies”: Winner Humor
- 2009 BlogLuxe Awards: Funniest Blog
- 2009 Bloggies: Best Writing of a Weblog, Best New Weblog, Best Food Blog
- The 2008 Weblog Awards: Best Food Blog
- Blogger's Choice 2008 Awards: Best Humor Blog
order
Where's the book?
We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.
Ordering Info
Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.
We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.
Popular This Month
Popular This Month
Archives
-
▼
2009
(419)
-
▼
October
(36)
- Hail, Hailoween!
- Step One: Cut a Hole in the Pumpkin
- The Twilight Zone
- Fan "Art"
- Halloween "Huh?"s
- Halloween Heckling
- Autumn Terrors
- Sunday Sweets: Halloween
- There's a Fly on My Cake!
- When Wreckerators Take the Fall
- Recipes for Wreckage
- "World" "Domination" Tour Back on Track!
- Bride/Baker Communication 101
- Oh, It Sends a Message Alright
- Sideshow Slideshow
- Sunday Sweets: Simply Awwww-full
- "World" Tour Wrap-Up: Austin
- Oh What a Difference a Letter Can Bake
- Teasers for the Coming Seasons
- Erring on the Side of Caution...Is Still Erring
- Do These Drumsticks Taste Funny to You?
- Sunday Sweets: Steampunk
- Happy National Cake Decorating Day!
- Putting Their Best Feet Forward
- "World" Tour, Take #2!
- I'll Have Whatever They're Having
- The Day the Tour Stood Still
- "World" Tour Wrap-Up: Chicago
- "So Funny" In Bold, with Exclamation Mark
- A Long Shot
- Tour Wreck - UPDATE
- Sunday Sweets: Tour De Force, Pt 2
- That's Some Spout
- Comic Issues
- The Dish on Denver
- Adowable Widdle Wrecks
-
▼
October
(36)
1226 comments | Post a Comment
«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 800 of 1226 Newer› Newest»-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:00 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:00 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:01 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:03 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:03 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:04 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:09 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:09 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:14 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:15 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:17 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:18 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:20 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:20 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:21 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:22 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:22 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:25 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:25 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:25 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:27 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:27 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:28 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:30 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:31 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:31 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:32 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:32 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:34 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:34 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:36 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:36 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:38 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:41 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:42 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:45 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:47 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:48 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:49 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:51 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:51 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:54 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:55 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:55 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:57 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 9:59 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:03 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:05 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:07 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:09 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:11 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:11 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:14 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:14 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:14 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:16 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:16 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:16 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:17 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:19 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:22 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:22 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:23 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:23 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:24 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:25 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:27 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:29 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:30 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:30 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:30 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:31 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:34 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:34 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:38 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:40 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:41 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:42 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:43 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:44 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:44 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:44 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:44 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:46 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:46 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:48 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:48 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:49 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:50 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:53 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:53 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:54 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:56 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:58 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 10:59 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:00 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:01 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:01 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:03 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:04 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:11 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:12 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:13 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:19 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:25 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:30 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:32 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:33 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:35 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:39 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:39 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:39 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:41 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:42 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:43 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:44 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:47 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:47 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:48 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:50 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:52 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:52 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:55 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:55 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:55 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:59 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:59 PM
-
-
-
October 4, 2009 at 11:59 PM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:04 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:04 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:04 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:08 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:10 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:11 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:11 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:11 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:11 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:12 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:12 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:13 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:13 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:13 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:14 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:14 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:14 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:15 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:16 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:16 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:16 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:17 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:17 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:17 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:17 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:18 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:18 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:18 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:19 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:19 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:19 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:19 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:20 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:20 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:21 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:22 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:22 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:22 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:23 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:23 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:23 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:25 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:25 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:26 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:29 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:30 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:30 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:30 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:31 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:31 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:32 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:32 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:33 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:33 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:34 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:34 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:34 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:35 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:36 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:36 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:37 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:37 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:37 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:38 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:40 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:41 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:42 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:43 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:44 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:44 AM
-
-
-
October 5, 2009 at 12:46 AM
«Oldest ‹Older 601 – 800 of 1226 Newer› Newest»Dear John and Jen,
So sorry to hear you are sick. Yikes. Drink lots of water, take lots of vitamin c, and get some rest. Consider yourself nagged.
I got my copy from Amazon on Friday! And it is Dangerously funny. Had to stop and catch my breath a few times, and realized I could die laughing, and my husband would find me slumped in the chair...wow.
My husband was holding his sides, too, when he tried to read it.
So, I made a cake Saturday, a rum cake, and it was delicious, and when it broke apart as my husband was inverting it, we both laughed. A cake wreck.
Take care, and thank you, John for protecting Jen from evil anonymous trolls.
Hey Jen and John! My prayers are with you both. I've been reading for a full year now, and want to say thank you for making me laugh every day =D
Take care, and get well!
much love
Health is first priority. Everyone will understand cancelling the tour. I hope both of you will get better soon!
I really like Lioness' idea made earlier today that the events should go on as planned - even if it is without you both. While it won't be as special (how could it be without you two?), what better way to honor all of the wonderful work that you do and inspire than to celebrate in true wrecky fashion? Surely getting lots of photos of cupcake wrecks and teir/tear cakes would brighten your day?
Cake Wreckers Unite!
Celebrate John and Jen's efforts and best intentions by joining together and sending fun photos to cheer them up and speed them onto recovery! Nothing like laughter to make you feel better!
-WM
*hugs* I hope you and John start to feel better soon.
I'm SO SORRY you're sick! Especially here in DFW. Bummer. Just know that it wasn't DFW that did it; it was Houston. Yup. That's our story, and we're stickin' to it. It was Houston. As in "Houston, we have a problem." As in just north of Galveston, prone to hurricanes. As in you were doomed when you got off the plane.
I'm sorry you got whacked with the sick stick, but I hope you're back to kicking back VERY soon!!!
Carol (who used to live in Houston, but now lives in DFW)
Fell beater "cake" wreckers! under neat that SOON in purple
~ Meredith
I am so sorry to hear about the illnesses all around-- I'm a newer reader, but LOVE the blog! I hope everyone gets well soon--
Here are my two favorite jokes:
Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's a pretty esoteric number, you've probably never heard of it.
This one is best said aloud:
Q: What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A: Ba-na-naaa. Ba-NA-NAAA.
Wishing you both a speedy recovery. Cake Wrecks has been bringing joy to me every day since I discovered it only a month or so ago. Thanks for all the smiles and giggles. Hope you are both back on your feet soon, making each other (and all of us) smile and giggle too!
Be Well!
Hmmm...
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
Feel better soon!
Hope you both feel better soon!
Cake wrecks has brought me so many laughs, I couldn't possibly refuse a request for a joke. How about an old hospital joke?
A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day and to make matters worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her. Every morning, for example, the nurse would bring her breakfast (which always consisted of an egg, piece of toast, and glass of apple juice). She would then return a little bit later to empty the urine bottle. And so it continued...
Finally, one morning, she decided to have a little fun. She ate the eggs and the toast, but went to the bathroom where she cleaned the urine bottle out, then poured the apple juice into it. When the nurse returned later that morning, he took a look at the bottle and a frown came over his face. "Obviously, you enjoyed your breakfast, but something must be wrong because this looks a little cloudy," he said, pointing to the urine bottle.
"Oh, really?" she replied, picking up the bottle in question and putting it to her lips. "In that case, we'd better run it through again..."
So sorry to hear you're down. Hope you both get well soon. My 8 year old daughter and I are new to viewing your site but have thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to logging on each day. She was just finishing telling me a joke as I was reading your site tonight so she sends this--"What was the golf club's favorite music? Swing
"What is invisible and smells like carrots?" bunny farts
Our prayers are with you both.
Get well Soon.
Wendy Adams
So unfair, when you two bring so much happiness to everyone else. I'll be thinking big get-well thoughts for both of you!
Jen and John-Get well fast!!!
I will pray for a speedy recovery!!
I'm so sorry, Jen! I hope you and John are both doing better soon. I count myself doubly lucky that I made it to the Dallas event.
So disappointing for you! Get better soon.
Alana
Many prayers for both of you! Hope you are feeling well soon!!
Get well soon! And for now, here are some horrible jokes:
What did the fish say when it swam into a cement wall?
Damn!
Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was assaulted... peanut.
Me and my daughters also wish you get well soon and prayers for John for a speedy recovery!! Hugs!!
Maggie, Gwen, Emma and Abby
Get well soon, it was great to see you in Chicago (I had the twins, remember?). Good vibes are coming from all three of us.
Oh my goodness, John, I hope you get better soon! And Jen, I hope your GI tract starts treating you better right quick.
What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom?
You're a fun guy!
Why did the yellowjacket stop at the gas station?
It was a B.P. station.
Heisenberg gets pulled over while driving. The police officer asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I know where I am."
Blood infection. Eep! Major prayers going John's way, and yours as well. Anyone who isn't understanding about why you're canceling is hardhearted and in need of a swift kick to the rear end.
We here in syracuse, ny are wishing both of you a speedy recovery. There is nothing worse than being sick away from home! OK so here's my best joke-
Why don't lobsters share?
Because they're SHELLfish...
get it? I know it's lame, but it's still my fav!
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says okay and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins. And this time they're all wearing sunglasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: "Hey! I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday!"
The guy replies: "I did! And we had such a good time that today I'm taking them to the beach!"
So there you go, my favorite joke. Get well soon!
Take it easy, get lots of rest, and get well!
As for jokes, well, this is the only one I can think of at the moment. It's not supposed to make sense, but that's why it makes me laugh. I might come back and post more:
Two strawberries are in the shower together. The first one asks, "Can you pass the soap?"
The second one says "What do I look like, a lawnmower?"
Hee hee hee.
Hey Guys!! So sorry to hear of the illness :( If you are still reading comments, I have a few jokes for you. After reading every single comment posted before mine, I have the top 6 jokes in no particular order:
1)brown/sticky= stick
2)"It's driving me NUTS"
3)talking muffin/cupcakes
4)drums/cymbols falling off cliffs
5)"my wife is an optician" cakes
6)"positive" about losing an electron
To combat each of these, I present 6 NEW jokes (yes, I have time on my hands)
*ahem*
1) There are three kinds of people in the world. Those that can count. And those who can't
2)Some people got together to figure out what they were going to call the country north of the US. They put all the letters, A-Z into a hat and took turns drawing. A man drew one letter. "C, eh?" The secretary wrote it down. A second person drew a letter. "N, eh?" The secretary wrote it down faithfully; spelling "Cana" before the last letter was drawn...
3)A man was driving a priest home after having lunch at his house when he saw a lawyer walking down the sidewalk. Without thinking, he aimed for him, intending to take one more off the streets. At the last minute, he remembered there was a priest in the car and swerved. "Whew!" he said, "I almost hit that lawyer!" "Don't worry," the priest replied, "I got him with the door"
5)A pirate walked into a bar with a pegleg, hook, and eye patch. The bartender asked "I see you've got a wooden leg" The pirate said "Aaar, shark bit it off." The bartender was still curious. "How did you lose your hand?" "A Buckeneer hacked it off with his saber" The bartender nodded, then asked, "What about your patch?" "A seagull pooped in me eye." The bartender was confused. "I don't understand" The pirate said "It was me first day with the hook"
6)(Q)How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
(A) None. They all sit around complaining it's too high
I'd be honored if you'd check out my *I think* humorous blog, snippitsrevealed.blogspot.com
Get Well Soon!!
Oh, forgot our joke for John....
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
InterruptinMOO!!!
Yep, I know, it works better said out loud. Kick that staph John!!
Maggie, Gwen, Emma & Abby
Speedy recovery to the both of you!
Here's one for you:
2 men drinking in a bar, quite drunk in fact. The first man says to the second man "I bet I can jump out that window and land with out breaking a bone." Mind you, they are on the 5th floor. The second guy says "There is no way you can do it." So the first guy says "I bet you can't jump and land with out breaking a bone." Being extremely drunk the second guy says "If you can do it, so can I!" So the first guy says "Prove it." The second guy says "Okay." and jumps. Well he hit the ground and suffered many injuries. The bartender says to the first guy "Superman, you're an asshole."
HI Jen and John!
I am so sorry to hear of your ills! I got the book today and LOooOOVe IT! You both bring such fun to my day :)
I hope you are both feeling better soon. Nothing is worse than being sick away from home!
OK so here is my best joke (at least my 5 year old thinks so!)
Why don't lobsters share?
Because they're SHELLfish!!
yeah i know, but it cracks 'em up in kindergarten.
Hope you both are back to your blog-fabulous selves soon. Much sympathy and good wishes.
a joke? seriously? okey dokey.
i was a hospital chaplain in georgia when i first heard this one. it's one of my utter faves.
Three ministers and their wives were great friends. Of different denominations they were sometimes able to schedule vacations together, and all six of them would head out to take a break from all those eyes and ears.
On one such trip the unthinkable happened. A terrible car wreck, and the next thing they knew, all six of them were standing, rather dazedly, at the pearly gates of heaven. Saint Peter motioned to one of the ministers, and he approached.
"Reverend Smith," Saint Peter intoned with disapproval in his voice. "All your life you have lusted for drink. You may not have actually imbibed, but it was such a temptation for you that you married a woman named Brandy!"
Chastised, Rev. Smith moved to the side to await the final judgment.
"And you, Reverend Jones! All your life you have longed for money. You may not have actually become wealthy, but it was such a temptation for you that you married a woman named Penny!"
Chastised, Rev. Jones too moved to the side to await the final judgment.
Then, before Saint Peter could begin to speak again, Reverend Miller turned to his wife and yelped in alarm. "Let's get out of here, Fanny!"
I can see why you're so sick! All those cake wrecks could get to you!
Hope you're both okay, and that the illness and unpleasantness goes away soon.
Jen and John (hubby of Jen):
Gees Louise, I am so sorry to hear about your go-round with the sick stick!
I hope you both are feeling better and are right as rain in no time.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it!
I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's one of my favorites. I tell it to the toll takers on the PA turnpike here whenever I pay a toll. (They deserve a laugh, doncha think?)
Get some rest, and get well.
Frigglesnitz
Horribly ill *and* far from home. Ugh.
{{{Jen and John}}} Praying for you both to feel better soon.
Why do mermaids wear sea shells?
Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
Are off color jokes ok? If not, then SCROLL! NOW!
Three nuns die and want to get into heaven. To get into heaven, you have to answer a question from St Peter. At the pearly gates, they find St Peter with a book bigger then the three nuns put together. St Peter looks at the first nun and turns to the first page of the book and asks, "Who is the Almighty Father?" The nun answers "God!" *Bells ring, lights flash, she ascends to heaven*
St Peter looks at the second nun and flips about half way into the book. He asks, "Who is the son of God?" She replies, "Jesus Christ!" *Bells ring, lights flash, she ascends to heaven*
St Peter realizes that these questions are far too easy, especially for ladies of the cloth. He starts flipping though the book and flipping through the book and flipping still further through the book until he lands on the very last question on the very last page. He turns back to the final nun and asks, "What were the first words that Eve said to Adam?"
The nun thinks and she thinks and she mutters under her breath, "Wow, that's a hard one!"
*Bells ring, lights flash, she ascends to heaven*
Geezopete. I don't even know you, but when I finally logged on tonight to Twitter, I actually cried. John, please think about rainbows, unicorns, and ABBA, as I think that's what will make you better. Jen, take a break to take care of yourself, and you are NOT ALLOWED, Young Lady, to become any more sick than you are. You two are "Illuminators" people who shine light in dark areas, and we need you. Hang in there.
This sounds so stalker-ish, but please let me know if you need anything while you're in the metroplex. I'm in the Dallas area and can be at the major hospitals (Medical City, Presby Dallas or Plano, Parkland, Baylor) in half an hour. Email if you need help.
cakesbyashley@yahoo.com
Oh no! I'm so sorry. It's terrible that John ended up in the hospital, but I'm so glad you're getting the care needed. Get well soon!
Who knows, maybe the hospital cafeteria will have cake. :P
Jen and John - focus on getting better...that is most important though we'll miss you in Bethesda.
Oh no! Jen and John, I am so sorry to hear you two are ill and I wish you two a speedy recovery.
What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Okay, it's a lame joke, I'm sorry. it always makes me laugh, though.
Best wishes to you two - and next time, come to Atlanta :D
A newer follower...but avid nonetheless...not to get toooo sappy but you and John are in my prayers. Had hoped to go to Bethesda to see you - but so totally want you both better more!! No doubt your following cares more about what matters most - your health - than making the book tour happen NOW. Reschedule when your health allows - we will still be here (wow - that kinda sounded stalkerish...)
Wow...what a wrecktastic way to have a tour cut short! Don't have any jokes on hand, only many wishes for a speedy recovery for you both and a note to say I'm loving the book version of Cake Wrecks.
Good luck john don't die.- Holly.
I am so very sad to hear of your illness. My entire family, both here in the States and in Amsterdam, send you healing light. You are in our thoughts.
Get well soon!!
*hugs*
Jen & John : I pray a speedy and full recovery to both of you. May healing and a cover of peace and health be laid on you.
Amanda
Word verification: renest: Jen and John wll re-nest in their home after they are feeling much better :)
Thinking about you both!
Okay, my best joke.
Have you ever smelled moth balls?
(You say "yes" here.)
How did you get their tiny legs apart?
Bad joke, I know, but be honest, you smiled.
Oh, wow. I totally know how you feel! Jen, I mean, never had pneumonia. (If I had thought of it, and could actually stand purposefully misspelling Penunomia, I would have, trust me.) Anyway, "I" really hope you get better "soon!"
"Sincerely",
Laura
Hope you are both eating cake and toasting a wonderful book tour really soon.
Praying for you both.
Yikes! Hope John's recovery is speedy! :) Jen, take care of yourself as well! :)
As for jokes, ....
Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!!! :P
Another long time reader, first time comment!! Had to let you know how many of us there are out there, sending lots of get well thoughts and wishes your way!! We ❤ you in Seattle!
And- I'm also loving all the jokes being left. They're making my day. What a great way to spread cheer! :)
Q: Where was Chuck Norris born?
A: In Chuck Norris Memorial Hospital.
Chuck Norris does not own a microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he downloads a song.
&c.
I really hope you recover quickly! Take care of yourselves!
~Justine
(I've been reading and loving your blog for around a year, but this is my first comment. :) )
Hope everything with your husband turns out okay :(
speedy recovery john and jen
You guys get yourself well soon! Taking care of yourselves comes first and foremost. People will still buy the book, and, heavens know, people will still make ridiculously bad cakes.
Tell the nurse to push 100cc's of buttercream and listen to my silly joke:
A guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc, I'm a teepee. I'm a wigwam." The doctor replies, "You're too tense."
Hope you both feel better soon!
Hope you both feel better soon!
-Cindy
Jen & Jon, married to an active duty USAF officer, I'm currently following your blog from Japan. So sorry to hear you're both sick -- here's hoping you both feel better soon!
My daughter's favorite joke?
Q.
Does it rain on Pluto?
A.
No, not if Mickey lets him in.
:)
Jen and John,
So so sorry to hear you're both sick. Our prayers are certainly with the both of you.
I was about to tell you guys a joke about a cow, then I realized that I got the joke off of your site. XD Anyways, I hope you guys both get better soon!
I hope you and John feel better soon. Here's a joke I love to cheer him up.
Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
For what he thought was H2O
was really H2SO4.
Three men were sitting at a bar talking. Somehow or other, the topic came round to funerals. One of the men asked the others what they wanted people to say at their funeral.
"Well," the first man said, "I want them to say I was a great father, and a good man."
The second guy says "I want someone to say that I really made a difference in the community, and made positive influence in people's lives."
The third guy thinks for a second and replies, "I want them to say 'Look he's moving'"
Prayers for swift recoveries! I'm another local gal (Fort Worth), please let me know if you need anything.
:o( I'm so sorry you're ill! We hope you get to redo these tour stops soon. Of course, this would mean getting out of the dang hospital! That's right. OUT! OUT DANG INFECTION!
I am so sorry John is sick! Get well soon. We'll miss you here in Bethesda. I hope when you are both well you can continue your "world" tour. It looked like you were having a blast.
I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this! Sincerely wishing you both a quick and easy recovery.
Here's a joke for John:
A penguin on a road trip runs into some car trouble. So he pulls into the nearest service station to have a mechanic take a look.
Since he's a penguin and all, he's craving something cold, so while he's waiting he manages to procure some vanilla ice cream. Since he's eating with his flippers, the ice cream kind of gets everywhere.
So, penguin goes to see the mechanic to check on his car, and the mechanic says, "It looks like you blew a seal." Penguin says, "No, it's just ice cream."
Ok John,
Here's your joke...
What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus and wipe out Klingons. Bah dum bum bum!
Many prayers and good wishes speeding over to you! I hope John gets lot's of cake delivered to his room. You make us all laugh on a daily basis so you really do deserve the speediest of recoveries!
Prayers and happy thoughts your way...
get better soon!!!!
Praying for healing for both of you!!
Why did the penguin cross the road? Because it was tied to the chicken.
If those bakers had already baked cakes, they (the cakes, not the bakers) shouldn't go to waste, so I'll bring my own fork and take one (or two, or three) for the team, if necessary.
here's a few of my fav videos for you to help you smile!!
300, cake town
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngSoSDfgPHo
how the lord of the rings should have ended
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqVD0swvWU
harry vs voldy rap
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTHn5oFPmi8
Reading through the jokes, I came across this one:
"Did you hear about the psychic midget that broke out of jail?
He was a small medium at large."
And it brought back a wonderful memory. My husband told this joke to my sister. Unimpressed, my sister said, "I think that joke was medium. It wasn't rare and it wasn't well-done!"
I'm so sorry to hear that you're both sick. I was your number one fan (in line) in Chicago and just wanted to say again what a pleasure it was to meet you both. The book is great and the website never fails to make me laugh my head off or gape in wonder at the Sunday Sweets. Feel better soon!
Jen
P.S. Anne-Marie does a great job!
Feel better real soon!
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!
Jessibeth G
I'm so sorry, John!
On the bright side, I bet this could inspire a lot of fun staph infection cakes.
So sorry to hear that you are both sick!
Here's my joke...
What kind of dance did the spaghetti go to?....
The meatBALL!!
Get well soon! :)
-Sue (Philadelphia, PA)
Many hugs and more well wishes sent to the both of you from Chicago.
Feel better soon!
That is terrible. I wish you both the best and a speedy recovery. Staph is such a nasty thing. Hope all goes well.
Two muffins are in an oven. One says "Wow, it's hot in here!" The other one says "OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Get well soon!
Here's the joke that my Spanish husband just made up when I asked him to tell me a joke real fast:
One Sunday a mother told her little boy, "Son, I'm giving you two euros. One is for your to buy a snack after Sunday school, and the other is for you to put in the offering."
As the little boy was walking to church, he stumbled and one of the euros slipped from his hand and fell down a storm drain.
So the little boy looked up and said, "Oh God, sorry but I dropped your euro."
ba-dum-bum-ching!
Are you laughing on the inside? Okay, it was a really lame joke, but my husband cracked up after telling it to me.
I wish you both weren't so sick! Just get better asap, okay?
P.S. I love that you love sci-fi. We do too. (Esp, Star Trek. If only you had the Doctor to cure you. I'm sure you'd both be completely healed by now!)
This isn't so much a joke as something I find endlessly amusing:
I'm a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle (put one hand on hip)
Here is my spout (put other hand on hip)
(Look down in dismay)
Sh*t! I'm a sugar bowl!
Get well soon!
Well, crrrrap. I was supposed to see you in Austin today just before I got on a flight today to Dallas for work. But I didn't see you, and now I'm in Dallas, where you are, but you're sick. :( Boohoohoo. Feel better.
OMG - how sad to be sick and not in your own bed!!! I am in the area as well (came to signing in 'i want sprinkles' t and would be honored to bring you a trashy People Mag with some good take out Tex Mex (if your tummy is up to it). Please don't hesitate to ask! happycakes@tx.rr.com It's the LEAST i can do for all the pleasure you've brought to my family!!
Get well soon, both of you...
Two dyslexics walk into a bra...
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worhipper?
A: He sold his soul to SANTA!
Q: What does DNA stand for?
A: National Dyslexic Association.
You're in our prayers.
Caroline
South Australia
Where do all good Kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies!
Praying for you both.
-Ed from Nasville
Jen, John, best wishes and a speedy recovery to you both. So sorry you got ill, and on tour, no less! Take care!
Sorry you are ill John, and Jen I am glad your illness has passed. Ha. I am sorry this happened and the tour is now toast, but the main thing is just to get well. I hope your recovery is rapid.
I'm sorry that Jon is doing worse instead of better. Will keep praying for you. And man to be sick in Dallas. Too bad you're not at least in a cool city like AUSTIN. (though maybe we don't want to be associated with the horrible time you're having.) Yeah, so scratch that and let Dallas take all the heat! ; )
I'm sending you my wishes for a speedy recovery! I really am! Umm... to cheer you up... oh! I know this story, and I don't have any pictures to go with it, but it's about cakes and it's really funny! It happened a few months ago when I went to visit my great aunt something-or-other down in the Middle of Nowhere, Illinois. It was her husband's birthday, and she got a cake that had a picture of a bowling ball and pins on it. At first I thought it was cute because it was pretty well-done and he's a big bowler. But then I noticed the inscription, which read "Wow... 80 years, and his balls are still scoring!"
i'm so sorry to hear! hope both of you are well soon! love the blog, so great to meet you on thursday!
Okay John. Here is a joke to keep you entertained in your sick bed: (Please keep in mind that I have no idea what you two look like. ha ha)
Why did the blonde have a bruise on her belly button?
Give up?
Huh? Huh?
Cuz her boyfried was blonde too!
hahahahahahaha
Hope you're both feeling better soon.
From PennyCillin
A Derby girl and faithful reader from OK!
Get better soon!
Here's a joke to help brighten your day like you brighten each of mine:
"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop."
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
There it is!
(Sorry, it's the best I got!)
get better soon!!
I dont have any good jokes, but I do have funny three year old's comments:
-last night "Mommy!! HELP!! I have a eye boogie in my nose!"
-thoughts on cantelope "ohh, cheese" (takes a bite) "ughh! Mommmmm! I can't eat the juice!"
What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the police?
A Small Medium at Large!
Sorry it wasn't PC, I know how you guys are sticklers for that kind of thing.
As a Dallas local, I am sorry you both got sick in our city. I'd like to blame it on the last city you visited and tell you that Dallas (and Plano!) loves you and wants you to come back. Next time, we won't use tongue.
I love your blog, and have been enjoying your "world" tour from the comfort of my own laptop. It really does suck being sick and away from home - feel better soon!
I hope you both get better soon. I'm sending good wishes from San Diego!
Get well!!!! We love you both in Lakeland FL!!! Think of delicious and beautiful cakes awaiting you!
Oh, and thanks for NOT calling it a "staff" infection. 9_9
Signed, the Grammar Police
Ugh! So sorry for both of you for this fickle twist of fate. Prayers and candles lit, with wishes for a speedy recovery for both. What's a little cake when a staph infection lurks?
Wish I had a joke, but alas, that is not my strength. Laughter is wonderful medicine!
Hi John! In Orlando you told my fiance (he made the giraffe cake) and I to start posting comments because you read them. I guess now is as good a time to start as any! Get well soon! We'll be thinking about you.
<> A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> BUMP... BUMP...BUMP... behind him.
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him,
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> faster ...faster...faster...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...clappity-BUMP...lappity-BUMP...on the heels of the terrified man...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in.
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> With a loud CRASH the coffin starts breaking down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> The man screams and reaches for something heavy, anything ...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> His hand comes to rest on a large bottle of Robitussin.
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> Desperate, he throws the Robitussin as hard as he can at the apparition...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>and ...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> finally ...
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<>
<> ... the coffin stops
Gary Pankow
Oh, no! Here's wishing you both speedy recoveries. I'll refrain from leaving a joke, as the only ones I know are dirty and were told to me by my grandmother. Which is kind of wrong. I need a shower now.
HEAL!
Ok, you asked for jokes. Here goes:
Do pneumonia patients make quick recoveries?
No. It takes a lung, lung time.
Ok... that was bad. I can do better...
What animal is most prone to pneumonia?
Wheeze-uls.
Ugh. Ok, I suck at this. Anyone else want to try?
I am so sorry that JOhn is under the weather! I hope he gets better soon!
My sister also wants to say that she, although no professional, hand crafted 6 wolverines and one doggy daddy to put on my wedding cake. She was convinced it would be a wreck (despite her amature status), but it was wonderfully awesome.
Best wishes for a quick recovery from us both!
Yuck! You poor things... hope you're both feeling better soon!
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Oh, wow, I hope you're all better fast!
OK, my favorite joke, stolen from the Prairie Home Companion Joke Show, yonks and yonks ago:
Q: How do you escape after you've been eaten by an elephant?
A: You run around and around and around until you're all pooped out.
Two antennas met on a roof, feel in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much. But the reception was excellent. (Ricardo Vidal)
A neutron walks in to a bar, orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and says, "For you, no charge."
If at first you don't succeed, call it Version 1.0.
Okay, I'm terrible with jokes. I admit it! But I wish you well, John. Get better soon!
GAds, rude me. I got caught up in jokes for John and didn't wish you to get better too, Jen! Please get better quickly, both of you!
Get well soon John and Jen!!
AUGH! That sounds horrible! I hope y'all get better soon and can get home!
Here's one of my most favorite jokes ever:
Celine Dion walked into a bar and the bartender said "Celine, why the long face?
A turtle was walking down the street when a snail came by and robbed him. Shaken, the turtle called the police. "What exactly happened?" the police asked the turtle. "I don't know," said the turtle. "It all happened so fast."
Get well soon, both of you! You've got a big fan base here in Dallas, please let us know if you need anything. Food? Reading material? An anvil? Anything you need.
GET WELL SOON!
Really hate to hear that things are going badly for you just now - you've given me so many laughs and cheered me up in hard times, I wish you all the best and pray that you both get better soon, and that John especially gets over his infection.
Oh, great CakeWreck Highness, I will be praying for you both to get well soon and home safely. That just stinks that you are both sick and so far away from home.
Are you sure you just didn't get hold of some decorated flaming pile of poo on one of the hundreds of cakes you've had these past few days? Or was it toe jam from some groom's cake, or green buggies crawling out from under yellow toenails on a birthday cake? Ya gotta watch that.
I was looking forward to seeing you in Bethesda, I hope you can reschedule. However, I would much rather you be well, happy, and ready for more wreckiness.
Under Neat That We Will Miss You
terri
I'm sorry to hear you guys are going through all of this. Get well soon!
Jen & John, please feel better. I just got my Cake Wrecks book in the mail yesterday and was up late at night reading the whole thing in one sitting.
Don't be upset about the tour; your wreckporters understand.
Have followed your blog for ages but this is my first time commenting:
GET WELL SOON!
Yo John and Jen! Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that things are even worse than yesterday! Yikes! Get better. And that's an order!
No jokes, but some real life "stuff" from my students in China who are studying English as a second (or third or fourth) languages.
"I love your smell." Huh? What's that supposed to mean? They have a tough time with vowels and their meaning is "I love your smile."
"I ate some snakes." Huh? I thought snakes were eaten in southern China, not western China. Found ate that snakes are eaten in western China, but their meaning here was, "I ate some snacks."
And of course, the inevitable, "I put clean sh*ts on the bed." I guess you can figure out that one means they put clean SHEETS! on the bed!
But then again, it's hard not to laugh when someone tells you to be careful not to sleep on the ice. That would be a wee bit uncomfortable . . . maybe even more uncomfortable than slipping on the ice!
"Geet better soon!"
I'm so sorry your visit to Big D turned out to be so unpleasant! Praying for a speedy recovery for you and John!!
-Christine (the one with the birthday)
I am so sorry you all are sick! Am praying!
A joke, eh? Hopefully in the previous 700 comments it's not been told!
My husband said: Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
Har har har.
My 8 year old says: what part of tennis are waiters good at? Answer: Serving!
My 6 year old says: knock knock... Who's there... Who.... Who who.... What's amatta, you got owls in you brain? (LOL)
Those were too "good" for me to follow up lol
hope you are feeling better, John! And Jen... Hang in there! Hope you are both feeling better in no time!
Wreck & Roll Forever!!!
Denver Cake Wrecks Groupie
I was happy I got to meet Jen at the Dallas stop but I'm so sad to hear y'all are sick. I'm sorry that all y'all get to see of our state is from the inside of a hospital.
Get well soon and Wreck On!
My daughter and I took a special trip to Toronto last year to see Wicked. She took to hugging the procelain bowl too. Oy! What she said though it was lucky to be sick at the hotel with heavenly bed at least an d a nice big bath tub to sit in when not upchucking.
As for John... my my my.... take care. hospital food sucks... doesn't matter where you are. Take good care and put the computer down and rest.
Hope you both recover soon.
What did the mother buffalo say when her child left for school?
Bye Son!
Did you hear about the new pirate movie?
It's rated ARRR.
Get well soon!
Hi, Jen and John! Longtime reader (and Facebook link poster, creating many Wreckies among my friends), but first time commenter. Sending up prayers for you both, especially for John's speedy return to health. For laughs, here's a joke I made up in 7th grade biology class:
Q: What's the difference between the male reproductive system and the female reproductive system?
A: There's a vas defferens!
It helps if you say it out loud, kinda. It was hilarious when I was 12. :-) Get well soon!
Good heavens, I hope you're both feeling better soon!
And John: What flies through the jungle singing opera? The Parrots of Penzance.
(I tried to keep it clean!)
John,
Soo sorry to hear you are so ill - hope you get well soon. Jen make sure you take good care of yourself and remember there is always cake somewhere in a hospital!!
A joke from my 10 year old son. Three men are in a waiting room on the labor and delivery floor awaiting news on the birth of their babies. A nurse comes in and says to one man "Congratulations sir, you are the proud father of twins!" He responds : "What a coincidence I work for the Minnesota twins!" Nurse comes in again and says to another man "Congratulations sir, you are the proud father or triplets!" "Weird" he responds, I work for 3M!" "Aw Crap!" says the third man. "I work for 7Up!"
Not the best joke ever but it always makes me laugh.
Where did the general put his armies?
In his sleevies!
My prayers are with you both. I went to BookPeople to see you today in Austin and was so sorry to hear that you both are sick. That does sound miserable. I hope you have friends and support up there in Dallas.
You said you wanted jokes... and didn't specify whether they have to be good jokes or not... so here goes. One of my favorites: Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.
Also another favorite: Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A fish.
Feel better, you two!
get well, better, healthy, ect!
what do you call a cow with no legs?
ground beef
moo! :)
<3
Oh goodness...You are both very much in my thoughts. I hope for your fast recoveries.
Ohmigosh I can't imagine how disappointed you must be! Your first super cool awesome book tour and you get too sick to continue! All the excitement, weather changes and airplane germs must have gotten to you. I wish you both the very best, and especially to you John, get well fast!
Be sure not to complain about the hospital food, or your fans may have to bring you ugly cakes!
:)
Oh man! you guys sure know how do to the traveling thing right!
Feel better soon both of you!
My husband thought this joke up all by himslef. He's so proud of it. As a warning, he likes making up bad jokes.
When is a cat most like a fish?
When it's PERCHing. (or floundering....that was my choice)
Feel better soon!!
Christine
Awe man, I hope you guys get better and that John gets the eff out of the hospital soon.
Lame jokes:
1)What's got nine arms and sucks?
Def Leppard
2)What's not funny, red and smells like paint?
Red paint
Sending thoughts and prayers for full recovery soon!!
Paige in MA
:|
That's terrible for both of you. Get better soon, but for yourself, not for the tour. We'll b okay as long as bakers keep pumping out bad cakes. :D
So sorry Dallas got ya sick (those of here have an immunity to it) ;-)
You're both in my prayers and I'm looking forward to hearing all about your miraculous recoveries!
(I thought of yall today, while in Wal Mart...I saw a football cupcake cake..Well, I THINK it was a football........)
Again, get better and keep wreckin.
Oh I'm so sorry this snuck up on your both. I think everyone out here COMPLETELY understands you canceling!
If you need to stay close in the hospital be sure to talk to the social worker for the floor- a lot of hospitals have either "over night" rooms, or special arrangements with nearby hotels for better rates! They can usually also work out something with you on a reduced parking rate if the hospital charges for parking. (Can you tell I've been an ICU Mom?)
I'll be thinking of you both and praying for a speedy recovery!
Marah in MI
Wishing you both a speedy recovery!
I'm so sorry to have missed you at your stop in Seattle, but am even more sorry to hear that you are both so very sick! Take care and hope to hear that you are back on the road to recovery very soon!
Oh dear, please take it easy and take care of yourselves!
Get well soon!
get better soon!!
Here's a joke:
The Things kids say !! Got this as an email, don't know who to credit it to....
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, `Mom, that lady isn`t wearing a seat belt!`
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, `The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.`
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. `Mommy can`t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She`s hitting the bottle.`
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women`s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, `What`s the matter, haven`t you ever seen a little boy before?`
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, `Are you a cop? Yes,` I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?` `Yes, that`s right,` I told her. `Well, then,` she said as she extended her foot toward me, `would you please tie my shoe?`
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. `Is that a dog you got back there?` he asked.
`It sure is,` I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, `What`d he do?`
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers & wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, `The tooth fairy will never believe this!`
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, `Daddy, you shouldn`t wear that suit.`
`And why not, darling?`
`You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.`
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister`s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: `Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.` (I want this line used at my funeral!)
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. `I`m just wasting my time,` she said to her mother.. `I can`t read, I can`t write, and they won`t let me talk!`
11) BIBLE (I love this one)
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
`Mama, look what I found,` the boy called out.
`What have you got there, dear?`
With astonishment in the young boy`s voice, he answered, `I think it`s Adam`s underwear!`
-Sarah Fleming, wreck lover!
Bad joke but: talk about a cake wreck! Or just a wreck!
Sorry to hear about both of your conditions. Get well soon!
Just another fan to say so sorry you're sick and hope you recover soon! Maybe not what you want to hear but call in other doctors if you feel you need to. (And sometimes you need to.) Good wishes are coming your way from me...
Get well soon!!!
And here's my slightly off-color joke that I think is up John's alley and appropriate for the time of year to boot.
A guy walks in to a Halloween party not wearing shoes or a shirt. All he has on is a pair of jeans. A friend sees him and asks him what the heck his costume is supposed to be. He answers, "I'm premature ejaculation. I just came in my pants."
P.S. It's okay if you can't post this. ;)
Oh gosh, that's so scary! I'm hoping you both get better swiftly.
Ohhh...NO when I feel bad I Cake Wrecks to feel better so I don't know what to say...Maybe we can get you a get well cake with lots of airbrushig and sprinkles or you can start another blog about hospital food. Feel better!!!
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
I sent up a prayer for both of you to get to feeling better!! Too bad you're not Chuck Norris . . . .you'd have roundhouse kicked this thing into next year!!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery to you both. John, you are in my prayers! Hang in there, you two!!
sorry, no joke here, just well wishes for you both> Get well soon so you can get back home to your families!
Deb Dennis _Phelps
Jen & John - please... worry not about your tour, just focus all your positive energy on getting better. And think of all the Get Well Wrecks we aren't sending you...
"Git well Son" under neat dat Jen and John
A man goes to the psychiatrist wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor looks at his patient, strokes his chin, and says, "Well sir, I can clearly see your nuts."
My jokes aren't getting any funnier, so PLEASE get well FAST!
Salud From Minnesota,
Retro Vertigo
Hope you haven't heard this one already...
A polar bear walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. The bartender walks over and says, "Can I get you a beer?"
The polar bear looks at the bartender...looks right...looks left...looks down...finally, the polar bear says, "Sure."
The bartender says, "Great. But what's with the big pause?"
Wait for it...
Hope you feel better soon!
Brandi
Wow, so many comments...I don't have a joke but for the staph (especially if it's MRSA) please google "turmeric MRSA", find a good organic source, and take it right away. MRSA in the blood is nothing to fool around with. We had a friend in orchestra die within days of getting a blood staph infection.
Not said to scare, said to make sure you do what you need to get rid of it!
HMMMM how to relate this to cakewrecks? Turmeric makes a beautiful shade of yellow for icing, although it probably tastes pretty junky.
I hope you both feel better and get home soon.
Q: Why did the cupcake major in hotel and restaurant management?
A: It wanted to be a Hostess.
So sorry to hear this; all best wishes for John to recover fully, and soon.
sending you both healing mojo. Please take care of yourself - we, and the wrecks, will be here waiting
Oh my gosh- just focus on getting better, John!
I spent much of my childhood in a hospital bed, so I can relate. I am so sorry. You will be in my prayers!
I missed the word "critical" the first time I looked at this. Please accept my best wishes for a full and speedy recovery. I really enjoy your blog.
Best wishes to you both for a speedy recovery! Thanks for all the giggles you've brought me. I'll never look at cakes the same way.
Here are my favorite jokes:
Two blondes walk into a bar. The third blonde ducked.
Horse walks into a bar, bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Battery walks into a bar, bartender say "I'll serve you, but don't you start anything."
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar, bartender says, "Get outta here, we don't serve breakfast."
ArArAr....
I hope you're feeling better!
My joke offering --
What was wrong with the wooden car with the wooden wheels?
It wooden go!
john you are in my thoughts and sending you tons of get better quick vibes. jen, hang in there.
a woman is pulled over by a texas state trooper, this is the 3rd time in a month that she has gotten a speeding ticket. since her license is in jeopardy she asks, "officer, if i buy a ticket to the state trooper's ball, would you not give me a speeding ticket?"
"ma'am, texas state troopers do not have balls."
Jen and John,
I'm so sorry to hear about this! Even though I've never commented on any post before this, I read this blog faithfully! It makes my day!
I hope you guys get better soon; you'll be in my thoughts and my rain dances. =)
Here's a little joke for you guys:
What's the number one use for cowhide?
.
.
.
.
To hold cows together. ha. haha. =)
Here's a joke for ya:
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires...
Hoping you recover quickly! I can't think of any especially funny jokes at the moment, so instead here is a funny website for you:
http://notalwaysright.com/ (As in the customer is NOT always right.)
OMG so sorry! Rain-dancing here in Missouri.
xo Danna
Best wishes for a speedy recovery from a Cake Wrecks lurker!
Oh no, that really sucks big time!! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
OMG! Please feel better soon!
I'm not good with jokes, but I can pass along teh cute.
First of all, prayers for healing to you both!
And...a joke from one of my students,
1: Did you hear about the new mata baby born at the zoo?
2: What's a mata?
1: Nothing. What's a mata with you.
I know - its bad!!!!!
Get well soon!
Here's a joke for you, John. Hope you haven't heard it before.
A blonde is a bit short on money so she has been doing odd-jobs to pay the bills. She walks up to a fancy house and rings the bell and says to the man who answers the door, "Hi, I'm out of work so I've been doing odd jobs for people. Is there anything you would like me to do?"
"Well," says the man, "I've been meaning to paint my porch, could you do that? I have the paint."
"Sure," says the blonde, "Just give me the paint and I'll get started."
An hour later, the blonde knocks on the door again.
"Done so soon?" the man asks.
"Yes," says the blonde, "And you should know that it's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari."
hope you two feel better soon and have a quick recovery, love your blog, Aideen (australia and Ireland)
Jokes are the best medicine, and I know Jen loves puns-
Two Swedish boys have just pushed their mother off of a cliff. One turns to the other and says "Look, Hans! No Ma!"
(Get it? Hands? I'm HI-larious.)
Two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. BA-DUM PISH!
(What is it with me and cliffs, today?)
What does the famous rapper Snoop Dogg use to make his clothes sparkling white? BLEEYACH!
Oh dear. My husband is on the verge of tears. I'll stop. XD
My warmest wishes for a swift recovery and a safe journey home!
Wow - I truly hope for a speedy recovery for both of you!!
I missed you in Denver, but to make it up here is my worst joke:
A man walks into a psychiatric ward wearing nothing but a pair of shorts made of saran wrap. The doctor takes one looks at him and says "well I can clearly see yer nuts!"
why did the elephant cross the road??
Because the chicken was on vacation!!!!
OK it is the favorite joke of my 4 year old daughter, but it is a joke!!!
Feel better soon..
Feel better, guys!!
Here's something to keep you smiling:
Two cows are grazing in a pasture. One says to the other:
"Have you heard about this Mad Cow Disease? It sounds terrifying!!"
The other cow responds: "I know!! Thank goodness we're geese."
:)
Take care!
Jen--We were so excited when we got to see you in Dallas on Saturday! Sorry things have gotten worse since then.
John--What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a yo-yo?
I don't know, but when you eat it, it comes right back up.
. . . (cringing) sorry, Jen. Maybe not the best time for a puking joke, but I live with an 8-year-old!
I just got here to verify what time we could see you in Kansas City, and now this news! John, I hope. You well very soon, and you too, Jen. I'm afraid I don't have a joke for you at the moment, just best wishes from Kansas!
Hey you two!!! We're praying for you out here in Hoodbridge. A very good friend went through what you're dealing with, with the staph infection last Christmas. It was a really scary time, but God showed His provision and healing. I have faith that you'll be telling a similar story in no time!! We love you!!
Irene in VA
oh my! We will be keeping you and John in our prayers. We LOVE the blog and you two especially because my name is Jen and my husband is John :) We are on a world tour of sorts ourselves (military PCS move from AZ to NC) and were so sad when we realized your event was at 2PM on the day that we were arriving in Dallas as a stop over but we weren't arriving until 8PM (which turned into 11PM!). We are headed out tomorrow morning onto Jackson, MS but wish we could do more to help you both in your time of need! Prayers and good, healthy vibes will have to do for now...
Jen and John, please get well soon. Here is a joke from our 5th grader to help you pass a few minutes. There were three guys: Shut Up, Manners and Poop. Shut Up was driving on the highway and Manners and Poop were walking. Shut Up was pulled over, the officer asked him his name and he said Shut Up. The ...officer asked him 'where are your manners?' He replied: He's on the highway picking up Poop. LOL now get some rest -Dawn R.
Hey! I'm a regular reader but first time commenter. I hope both of you the best of wishes and hope you get well soon really quickly. Take time and rest. For some excellent laughs: http://icanhascheezburger.com/
Get Better Soon
Below That
John
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Get well soon! My husband always tells me cow jokes when I need to smile. My favorite:
Did you hear the one about the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
It was an udder disaster!!
*insert groan here*
:)
Get well soon. Thanks for all you do!
Awww....how awful and super scary. I've enjoyed following the tour on facebook and the website. Please get better soon. Sending good health and speedy recovery vibes.
Joke: what's the difference between Swine Flu and Bird Flu? Swine Flu you need oink-ment and Bird Flu you need tweet-ment!! tada...
Best of wishes and thoughts to you both...get well now, OK??
Jen and John,
You are in thoughts and prayers! Wishing you both a quick recovery. Just finished Cake Wrecks, the book, and giggled all the way through it. Could not wait to turn the page to see the next wreck! Just wanted to say thanks to both of you for all the laughs! All the best to you both!
We are sending good wishes from Milwaukee, WI. And it's a full moon, so hopefully they'll be very potent good wishes.
WE LOVE CAKE WRECKS!!
Under neat that get well soon.
;]
Hugs to you both. And my mom's favorite joke (because it is short enough for her to remember the punchline):
Why does a faucet drip?
Because it can't go Snnnnnniiiffff.
Oh, no! I hope you both get well very soon. When I first looked at your tour dates, I thought to myself, "When will Jen & John actually sleep and eat?"
For some laughs, you can check out failblog.com . That place is pretty funny!
Christina "boom boom sexy time"
Portland, OR
I hope you two are okay! I love you both, even if I've never met you.
Please get better soon!
John and Jen - Hang in there! You'll be in my prayers!
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!"