If You Want Something Done Right...

"Darling, I don't mean to criticize - because I appreciate your ordering the shower cake, I really do. It's just that...well...I asked you to get a baby basket."

"And I'm just not sure this is conveying the right message.

"No, dear, it will not be fine; now it looks like we're hosting a baby funeral!

"Hm? Well, what about your cupcakes? How are they supposed to help?"

"Aaaaauuugghh!

"Well, what did you expect me to say?!? Yes, I think everyone will 'get the visual', dear. That's the problem.

"Because it's gross, that's why!

"Now look, I need you to go back to the bakery - are you listening to me? - I need you to go back to the bakery, and get another cake. And remember: We are preparing for a new life. Happy, cheerful, life. We are avoiding death, mmkay? Got that? Good. Now hurry up; the party starts in an hour."


[Later...]



Dylan B., Angie F., & Meghan E., I'm told that cupcake is vegan. Anyone else find that ironic?

And speaking of which, if you live in Utah and are imagining all the events you could liven up with some gourmet vegan fetus-cupcakes, then you can order them here. (Uh, I don't think they call them fetus-cupcakes, though. And please don't tell them I sent you. Heh.)


- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

The Most Wonderful Time...

Hi all, Anne-Marie-the-Wrecksistant here!

Some years back, there was this Staples commercial that featured a Dad gleefully stocking up on back-to-school supplies, while his two sullen tots trailed hopelessly along behind him. The jolly little ditty about it being the most wonderful time of the year played merrily in the background, and I, the mother of a teen myself, always felt my heart lift a little as I contemplated the first day of school.

[slapping my own hand] Bad mommy! Bad mommy!

Anyway, whether you're thrilled about the day after Labor Day or not, there are plenty of cakes to celebrate with:

"No, sweety-luvvy-kins, spray painting the bus will NOT get you a day off from school. They'll just send another one."

"And don't let this give you any ideas, either."

[sigh] "Ok, yes, if your bus driver has a big bloody grin, tells you to 'Jump in im back,' and the other kids are screaming warnings from the windows, then we can talk.

"But that's not going to happen! So, out you go. Chop chop. Bus is waiting.

"Look, do you know what happens to little tykes who complain about school? Hm? The Poop Nose Snaggletooth Dog-a-saurus comes after them!"

"He'll eat your homework first...and then YOU for dessert!"

[Screaming child runs toward waiting schoolbus]

Ahhhhhh... silence at last! This really is the most wonderful time of the year.


Wait, that just reminded me of something. Soon I'll have to start my holiday shopping.


Aw, crap.


Thank for the reminder, Tiffany, Allison I., Stephanie P. & Kylie. Really.

- Related Wreckage: Cake Wrecks, World Educator