Tuesday, November 2, 2010

John's Birthday Suit

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?

Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!

I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.

[eyebrow waggle]

Look! A misspelling!

I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.


Isn't this called an oxymaroon?

Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.

See what I mean? Now, all together: "Grrrreet job, don-kay!"


This one also seems a little contradictionary:

"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"


And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...

Listen! Do you smell Epcot?


And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...

...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.

Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.

John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]

John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.


And now, because it's my brithday, I want to give you something special. Yes, that's right: John wants to give you something.

[duckface]

[Barry White music]

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:


Cake Wrecks stuff!


So, leave me a comment, and I'll pick the sexiest two to win personalized copies of Cake Wrecks. (I'll even let Jen sign 'em.) The next sexiest two will win Cake Wrecks wall calendars.

In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.

Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.

«Oldest   ‹Older   601 – 768 of 768   Newer›   Newest»
calissta7 said...

doh! i want to win, but i can't bring myself to even try to make a sexy comment when talking to a married man. so i'll go for blatantly un-sexy, and hope it has the same effect. picture jar jar binks' identical twin sister as oola the slave girl (and wearing her clothes), jumping out of your birthday cake. that is my imaginary present to you. va, va, va, voom.

Brittany D said...

Bon Anniversaire!
Herzliche Gluckwunche zum Geburtstag!
Feliz cumpleanos!

Anything spoken in a foreign language is *always* sexy. Oh wait, I almost forgot Canadian.

Happy Birthday!

Cat said...

Happy birthday. Don't forget to cease the moment.

Anne-Marie M. said...

John, Hippy Burtday to you!

Hmm, a sexy message...

Imagine Jen coming down the hall, holding her pasties and waggling her eyebrows at you. You reach out to her and -

(record scratch) We - the Family-Friendly Web Posting Police - interrupt this program for the protection of our children (and truly creative sexy story writers everywhere).

Felix Cumpleanos!

WV - dimmor - Turn down the dimmor switch for atmosphere!

TaraLee said...

Happy Birthday John, may your day be filled with love, laughter, cake and pasties!

Amy Dungan said...

Happy birthday John! I'd love a book, but the only even remotely "sexy" thing that comes to mind is pasties. That word will echo through my brain for days now thankyouverymuch!

Unknown said...

in all honesty, i love the blog, but i really want a prize!! oh yeah, and happy birthday ;)

Keidi said...

Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy Sexy. I didn't even cut and paste. Might my comment be the sexiest?? 8) Thanks for a chance!

bakingincircles said...

We always called pasties the boob cups we had to wear under our leotards. :)~

Mande said...

Singing "Oh I don't know why, I don't know why, I can't get enough of your love Babe"! Can't get any sexier than Berry!!

Amanda said...

Pasties are delicious... I mean... just sayin'...

<3<3

mommabird2345 said...

"John wants to give you something"

Yeah baby, give it to me good. Wait, what? :)

Happy Birthday!

Penny said...

(cue sexy background music a la 1970's adult film soundtrack)Bow chicka bow bow...."hey John" (much hip wiggling and twirling of pasties...er pastries....er....payshtees)"Heer's hopping you hav a wunderfol brithday and that all you're wishes come troo" (seductively peels off fishnet stocking and throws it at John...misses and stocking lands on cake where it promptly catches on fire). TA DA!!!

janitabean said...

SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY HAPPY BIRDDAY!!SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY

Catherine said...

Happy Happy birthday! :)

janitabean said...

Aw Morgan! I just saw your post and you beat me to it with more sexys. :(

ilze said...

Pasties - if you 'google' an image of the word, you will see both kinds of pasties...in living color!

Greet job cake - Some stores have people employed as greeters; didn't know they get their own cake, though.

Ear day cake - you can get a choice of them in that bakery!

Class of 2010 cake - someone should have seized that cake before it was put out there. Why is the message written in a dotted-line style?

Rebecca F. said...

Sexy? Hmmm......

Okay John....

"Beer. Sleeping in on a workday. Back rubs. Not having to cut the grass. Perfume. Hot pizza. Whip cream."

How'd I do?

Donna M. said...

Happy Birthday John!

Now to make this post sexy enough to win a calendar...I'll don my new $1 pastie (hmmm cinnamon rolls on the ears make me look like Princess Leia) and do the infamous "Dance of the Wrecks" on this here CCC *ptooie* :D

For now I will not Sherk my duties as an avid Cake Wrecks follower and remind everybody to visit their ENT on Ear Day. If you see my good friend on the way, please feel free to Greet Job :)

Sora said...

Happy birthday! =D

I used to work in food service and one of the funniest moments was when I overheard two 60+ year old women discussing pasties and the different pronounciations and meanings (meat pies vs. things you put on your nipples.)

Amy S said...

Happy Birthday John!

Scott said...

Well, helloooooo there, Big Boy.
Why yes, my wife IS letting me borrow her Princess Leia costume and wig in order to win this contest.
[bats eyes, bites lip]

Kirsten Mace said...

Happy Birthday! Wonder what your birthday cake will be like? Do you wreck one on purpose for fun? Hope you post something on epbot too! Glucklich Geburtstag!

daddys lil psycho said...

when you have those birthday pastors swinging in your face try not to make a creamy frosting mess.

Nicole said...

Happy Birthday, John! I hope you got Jenn to sport some of those pricey pasties for you!

Allison said...

Happy Birthday, John!

Marcie said...

Happy birthday John! You and Jen sound like that amazing couple who I would joke about living at your house with you, but I would secretly really mean it. I promise I'd chip in on the mortgage and bills! I'll even help out on projects, laugh at all your jokes, and keep the peace when you two can't agree on which movie to watch.

Bill F said...

Hippy Briday, John! Below that write Greet Gob!
Bill F

Pamela said...

Happy Birthday, John! Hope it's been greet!

Laura said...

Happy Birthday, John!

Love the post, as always. (I haven't seen Shrek Forever After either.)

THE SEXIEST!!!!!

LivingInSong said...

Happy Birthday John!

I hope you have a great one, filled with spell-checked cakes!

Caroline said...

Happy Birthday John!!!
I was really looking forward to seeing you in your birthday suit ;)

Sparky said...

Oooh, John. Your third person-speak has me all in a tizzy. So sexy. If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Seriously, though, you should speak in third person more often. It makes you sound like a house-elf. And that's just awesome, am I right?

Late said...

Leighton thinks that John is hilarious. She also says that free Cake Wrecks stuff would be good, too.

Brenda said...

Hay Birday Boy. Did yuo got a neice cake four you're specail day?

SDLantos said...

*sound of "Let's get it on" playing in the background as giant 10-layer devil's food and grand marnier cake, exquisitely iced and hand-decorated with buttercream is wheeled into the center of the room*

*suddenly, top of cake pops open and out jumps...[John to fill in this space with whatever turns John on, presumably Jen dressed in some sort of lingerie, or not, who am I to say? I just want a CW book, so indulge me here]!!!*

*after much cake munching, cake smearing on bodies, and general cake-iness that cannot be described in a family blog, the evening concludes with...*

W/V: foing - Hopefully this comment made John's mind go "foing" and he will send me that much-wanted CW prize!!

-Sue "pick me pick me"

Blackmouth said...

Jeez...this is FUNNY stuff.

I have at least one "out-loud" laugh every visit to your site.
And I thank you for that.

Please keep the laughs coming.

Lagreana said...

Good post. Happy Birthday!

Dolly Morgan said...

*le gasp* Hayyp Briday! May your day be filled with jelly donutes and pasties. :) And carrot jockeys, of course. ^^

Jenn S. said...

Happy Birthday! Today was my 26th birthday (although my elementary school class guessed that I was either 19 or 30... I don't know if that's good or bad.)A signed copy of Cake Wrecks would put this birthday over the top!

Unknown said...

Happy birthday from Scotland, John. I'd send you a Scottish pastie but don't think it would hold up well in the mail. So, please accept this transatlantic, correctly-spelled "Happy Birthday!" instead.

Anonymous said...

Yaay, it's my birthday too! Good thing I'm not getting a cake tonight. Happy birthday, John!

Brooke said...

Happy Birthday John!

Anonymous said...

Good Luck tonight...Birthdays and Anniversaries are the two times a year IT (eyebrows wiggling) is guaranteed!!

annetteboardman said...

No sexy comments, just wanted to say thanks, John! It is election day and I am depressed. But you and the site made me smile. So thank you for that.

annetteboardman

Tricia L said...

Hey, John, it's my birthday too. Why don't you come over, and we can "celebrate" together. Maybe have a little "cake" and check out the carrot jockeys.

MissNay said...

*knocking*
Housewife- "Can I help you?"

Dude-"I'm here to deliver your cake."

Housewife-"I didn't order a cake."

Dude-"I knooooOOOooow"
*bowbow chicka wowow* <-- Barry white music

Housewife- "Wow you don't even need your hands to hold the cakebox!?"

Ummmm my apologies for this. Also, phonetically, my verification word says uteris. There goes dinner.

I speak for everyone when I say I'm glad you were born!

Maryanne & Duke said...

Hoppy Brithday, Jon!

Kassie said...

Hap-py Birth---day....Mr. John-ny....

hehe. My feeble attempt to be sexy in my comment.

Anyway, my favorite part was the Ghostbusters reference. :) Lovin' the obscure references!!

Denece said...

What does an oriental man do for an erection? Why he votes of course. Why you no raughing?

Happy Birthday!

Kristin said...

Happy Birthday! If kid snot is considered sexy, then I'm a shoe-in, cause 3 kids with colds have covered me in the stuff.

Anonymous said...

Hello There! Love the blog.

Just wanted to give you a heads up about that last picture - unless you get permission from the corporation to post it, you may get in trouble if they catch you posting it online. I work for that particular corporation and no pictures of the menus and/or logos may be taken and distributed online.

Thanks! Happy birthday, John!

Ronda in B'ham said...

Happy b'day. Hope it was a great one.

PUWho? said...

You mahst speak as ze Frahnch skunks do for zees to wurk, Zhahn.

Ce'st le bairthdae jennay-say-quah le du meh-rhee.

Frahm tu frair,

P.U. (Wee wee. Zoze are moi authentique ee-nee-shauls.)

Patricia U.

alisonpeta said...

Happy Birthday!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!!!John(hubby of Jen) hope you had a greet day

D.N.

Krista B. said...

Happy birthiversary!!

Margaret said...

sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy sexy silly silly silly post. Happy Birthday! Love your blog!

KarenDFrancis said...

My husband wants to get me a car for my next birthday, should I get a cake to go with it?
Hippo Birday 2 Ewe Jon.

EG said...

Happy Birthday, husband of Jen!

Unknown said...

i hope you're feeling the love all the way across the world, the oceans, the many wrecked cakes beyond US shores, from SINGAPORE!!! Happy birthday!

Dreamer said...

A giver who loves pasties...That's a tantalizing combo...

Dreamer said...

A man who speaks in third person, loves pasties, and misspelled Earth Day cakes...tantalizing combo

Boo said...

Happy birthday, John! And now for the sexy comment - bacon wrapped anything. Mmmmm. Bacon.

JenniferB said...

Give it to me John, give it to me good! (and happy bratday by the way!)
squirrelsmom*at*hotmail*dot*com

EvylFashionista said...

The smexiest people EVAH were born on this day! (And I ought to know as it's my birthday, too.) Hope your day is filled with wreckie goodness.

Lyndy said...

Happy Birthday!! today is a popular day, you are the third person I said it to

Californiutahan said...

Happee Bridthay, Jon!
(underneat that)
Hope its a greet won?
I want sprinkles.

wv: hablyzes; Hablyzes "Happy birthday, John!"

leeshka said...

Oooohhh... Birfday!! I'm scanning over the comments, and I'm seeing a lot of hawt Scorpio action. Mine's the 4th, wouldn't want to miss out on the hawtness.

(Also, @Beth's sexy farm animal joke made me pee myself just a tiny bit. If mild incontinence brought on by childbearing isn't sexy, I don't know what is)

Marie said...

Happy Birthday John. I hope you have a yummy non wreckie cake!

Fluffy Cow said...

Ok, I vote for Scott in the Princess Leia costume. Because (obviously) women are better then men. And if you can't BE a woman, you could at least look like one... or just worship one from afar.

Oh wait... sexiest, not sexist.

Darn.

I still vote for Scott.

(BTW- way to pull in the comments... offer free stuff!)

Brandi Wiggins-Côté said...

Happy birthday, John! You're such a clever boy.

Andrew and Monica Nelson said...

Feliz Cumpleanos John! And believe it or not, I actually misread all your misspellings as correct... until I got the hint and went back and reread them all. Thanks for making Cake Wrecks the funniest part of my day! -Monica Nelson

Anonymous said...

Happy pasties! I mean, birthday.
Happy pasties, too, though. If you know what I mean.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! Over 675 comments. John you are LOVED, and THAT is sexy!

Harry F. said...

Three dollars, three pasties;
The third one's for you,
Removing them would be painful,
If you use Super Glue.
(Okay; maybe it's more porno than sexy)
Happy Birthday, John!

Ellie said...

Happy Birthday John!
Under Neat That
Have a Greet Day!!!

Jenna Wheeler said...

Jenna is a big fan of speaking in third person too. And pasties.

Colleen said...

Happy Birthday!!! Hope you had a good one!

Saturday is my birthday (and my sister's was last Wednesday, and my son's is next Wednesday)....we Scorpios rule!!!

Anonymous said...

I know pasties is a word but it's soooo wrong.

Happy Brithday!

Captain Momma

Karielle Stephanie said...

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. Meat pasties. I'm drooling, I'm drooling.

Birthday hugs!
Stephanie
2love.stephanie@gmail.com

Valerie said...

(-.-)
(.)(.)
) . (
( v )
( )( )
<0 0>

Is this sexy enough?

Sarah Feeney said...

Hippy Breathday John! ;P

Tasha said...

LOL John every time! Happy Election day! oh and happy birthday too i guess :)

Anonymous said...

Renee just wants to say....
Bow chicka wow wow....(insert smooth awesome voice here) Ah, yeah, Birthday Greetings to one cool Brotha...Chicka Chicka...

Sarah Feeney said...

OMG! In Australia Pasties are definitely a pastry filled with meat and /or vegetables. Had to google it to see why it was funny to Americans! Wasn't prepared for them to be novelty nipple covers! Bwaahahahahaaaa!

desi said...

Happy birthday John!!! Today is also my birthday!!

Naazju said...

In defense of pasties--visit the Harry Potter theme park in Florida and try them for yourself--they're to die for!

Or, you know, be sexy for.

Happy birthday, John! And may the sexiest comment win!

Carrie said...

Happy Erection (errr...election) Day, John!

Angela said...

Happy birthday!
Another great set of cakes that made me laugh out loud. Thanks : )

Carli said...

I love you John! (my husband is in the other room so I better hurry before he sees this!)

Unknown said...

I can't think of anything sexy to say that the Fireman Cake doesn't already express...
...yuck.

Happy Birthday! And Epcot!

HeatherB said...

My word verification is 'woonip'. I believe it is a new word to describe paying a lot of attention to a certain body part...

Abby E. said...

Mmhmm, that's right.
This is DJ MacLoooove givin' you some grooooovy tunes for all dem Falker Satherhoods in the hizzouse!

Lez give a big baby-cake filled YoYoYo to John! Oh yeah, hands in da ayurrr y'all!!!

So that was my sexy comment. Behold.

Kaaren said...

Feliz Navidad! Err, Cumpleaños. That's the one.

Fignie said...

Soooo very funny! :) And in honor of umm ... cake wrecks today ... umm, I had my very own wreck ... "etched" into the cake was "Happy Birthday Dee & D" ... very ... umm wreck like! :(

Leah K. said...

Today is also my husband John's birthday! He's 33!

Leah K. said...

oh, and Happy Birthday John who is Jen's John and not my John who has the same birthday and to whom I also wish a Happy Birthday!

KellynBoBellen said...

Happy Birthday!! I love your blog, both of your comments about the cakes are hilarious!

and seeing as there are sooooo many comments I didnt read them all so I am guessing someone has already explained this but here ya go anywyas.

Pasties (pronounceds Pahs-teez) are actually polish in origin, which is why if you live in Michigan...like I do...they are so easy to find. Seeing as Michigan has a very rich heritage of polish immigrants (like myself) :)

but they of course are very popular in England, more so than here in the US, so people think that they are more of an English dish. But, its sort of like Curry...huge in the UK but not from there.

While the typical pasty is a pie crust filled with seasoned potato, today you can find them filled with just about anything...even breakfest foods, which i find to be a bit gross.

Hope your birthday was great!!

Jenna said...

MMMmmm.... Pasties? for only $1??? They're a staple up here in "Da Nort'woods" WI. Don't feel bad, I had no clue what they were until I moved here!
Hipy Birtday John! An meeny moore!

Unknown said...

I'd say you deserve some 'sexxaaay tiamme' that doesn't include reading over 600 comments!


Agreed? Go ahead, cease the moment!

MommyB said...

Happy Birthday John, you're so sexy you make my teeth sweat!

Love, yet another, Jenn....

Reya said...

HBPPY BIRLHDAY, John! Your Awsome!!

Adulting Mom said...

Bon anniversaire John! (from the France portion of Epcot)

abi said...

Other posters have raised a good question,
So if I may make a suggestion:
For an edible pasty
That's both cheap and tasty,
Just stick Fruit Roll-Ups on her breasts, son.

Arlene said...

Happy birthday John! May the farce be with you and Jen and may all the cake wreckerators not destroy your birthday cake if you get one lol.

Anisa said...

Happy brithday John!

Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

Happy Birthday! John, I betcha if John makes some awesome Steampunk pasties, Jen would totally wear them for John...........

And my captcha right now is "impailu" which in my head came out as "impale you" which made me laugh hysterically. Because I have a dirty mind.

Unknown said...

Pasties are cool... but the lack of pasties are EVEN COOLER! :-X

aj said...

Happy birthday, John! Hope it's been an awesome day!

Anonymous said...

Mm. And watch the cat SCRATCH that wall! alockmiller@gmail.net

savvygal said...

Late to the party (haha get it, party? Birthday? Oh, come on, it's 12:30 a.m. where I am and I'm loopy), but happy belated one. Side note: Gretchen Wilson wasn't kidding...you can get pasties WAY cheaper at Walmart, and they look the same as the $100 brands.

Green said...

Speak binary to me, baby:

0100100001100001011100000111000001111001001000000100001001101001011100100111010001101000011001000110000101111001001000000111100101101111011101010010000001101000011000010110111001100100011100110110111101101101011001010010110000100000011010000110111101110100001011000010000001101110011001010111001001100100011110010010000001101101011000010110111000101110

Cyndy said...

Happy Birthday! So fun to share a month! My birthday is Sunday!

Delibird said...

Just for you, John: a cute 'n' sexy Birthday Suit video. It even has cake in it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gYZifDZF4Y

Now if only some talented person would do a Sunday Sweet version of this video . . .

Shelley Parker Chandler said...

HIPY PAPY BTHETHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY - that is Owlish for "Many Happy Returns of the Day", at least it is according to Owl (from Winnie the Pooh), who should know, after all.

I thought the "Greet Job" cake was for the new hire at Wal-Mart. "Hello, and welcome to your new job as customer greeter. Have some cake and do a 'greet' job!" heh heh

Finally, I can think of nothing sexier than the title of this post, which I just saw... "John's Birthday Suit"... snort... giggle... yes, Jen is a lucky, lucky woman. :)

Unknown said...

Your grate. Hapypy Mirthday. Eye hope you choose the bestest comments or urine trouble! BTW - Can you hook us up with some more steam or zombie Sunday Sweets?

ginahhh said...

Sexy, sexy...I love the tenor the most. I think Bill Clinton plays alto and tenor - is that bi-sexy?

Sarah Walker said...

Happy Birthday!
Sarah W.

Unknown said...

Technically I'm belated, because I live in Australia so posts are always a day behind, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway! :)

Kelly said...

Half a hippy barthday!

Carina Schoen said...

Happy birthday, John! Great post! :)

Renee T said...

"Hapy Bithday" (in red)
"JOhn" (black, undelined)
pic sexy lady in 'lon-juray' (Stacy, pls check spelling, thx)

Christina said...

Your so kind to give something away for you're birtdhay!
This post had me laughhing so hard that I thought I would choke!
Hope you're day was grrreet!

Anonymous said...

I love how the Wreckerator of CW1 has obviously started to spell it "Shr...oh dang, need to fix that, I'll just add a wobbly line at the bottom of the r and another in the middle - there, it's an e, no-one's gonna notice!".

Crape the diem, John!

MC from NZ

WV: wow, dese are some miessi cakewreks!

Donald Laird said...

I don't even know how to sex an E - with those three lines, they all look male to me ;)

Donald

Anneke (Mudhooks) said...

Happy Birthday!

Kevin Phair said...

What a coincidence, I just had pasties last night! And I had some meat pies too!

And that's about as sexy as you get from one guy to another. And if you are thinking to yourself, "that was kind of a let down," that's what she said.

Anonymous said...

Birthday Streeeeeeak!....

... of frosting on my keyboard as I dropped cake from my fork whilst giggling over your post. Hapy Brithday. Hope it brings you much frivolity, and pasties of whichever variety most floats your boat.
:)

pinky black said...

happy birthday john!
i love your featured cakes. i thought you can only spoof those stuff on shirts. i really laughed upon seeing the spoofed photograph cakes. specially the "greet job".

pinky black said...

happy birthday john!
i love your featured cakes. i thought you can only spoof those stuff on shirts. i really laughed upon seeing the spoofed photograph cakes. specially the "greet job".

Mrs B said...

Exactly how sexy must the comment be to win?

'Cause I'm pretty good at the ole eyebrow waggle, too, and I've been known to do a palpitation-inducing eyelash flutter, too!

If only I could be prosaically more sexy :( Perhaps next time :)

In any event: Happy Birthday, John!!

a1337a said...

A secksy post for a sexi dude. Hapy brithda, may it be ful of pasts.
...belated, anyway.

Anonymous said...

It's a shame the 2010 cake is wrong -- the lettering is lovely!

shaz said...

Happy birthday John, bet it was greet! And yes, that was international.

Ps, I'll see you one eyebrow waggle, and raise you a pastie.

QAMom said...

Happy Birthday!

Amy G (UK) said...

In Cornwall they do it with a crimped edge, yeah baby! How's that for sexy ;)


...What do you mean meat and potatoes in pastry doesn't do it for ya? It's totally hot!

Cornish pasties are the best, you can get 'em with just about any filling over here in Blighty. Mmmmm pasties...

Fluffy Pink Bunny said...

Happy Birthday! Please include me in your giveaway. Thank you!!

Paula said...

the sexiest two

Anonymous said...

Ooooh yeeeaaahh John, right now I'm wearing nothing but a plastic Spiderman head, because I know that's your favorite. You bring the frosting and I'll bring the brown food coloring. Mmmmm, yeah I wanna see you as naked as a carrot jockey. Bring on the edible paper lingerie! Also, it's cool if your wife watches as long as she doesn't correct the spelling on my "Awesum" tattoo.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Mr. President. I mean, John, and not Kennedy. That should qualify is second-sexiest, right?

Meghan the Smith

Lauren said...

My town is very Welsh, and our green pastor was talking about his new-found favorite food ... of course, pronounced "paste-ee."

whoops!

Happy Birth Month, John! Mine is the 9th :)

Lauren

Anonymous said...

Not wanting to be sexy, BUT, have you two seen Raising Hope yet? Just love your contradictionary.......they have one word each episode; let's see, Halloween's was "deceitery"! Hahahahaha!!!

ncd1011@verizon.net

Sharon said...

A day late, but I was trying to think of something sexy....didn't happen.

Anyway, I'll sing you a song I wrote:

Happy Birthday! Now you're one year older. Happy Birthday! You made a trip around the sun. Happy Birthday! Your good friends have all gathered. Let's shower you with presents, cut the cake, and have some fun!

Or, if you're tired of cake:
♪ Let's shower you with presents, the rest of your life has just begun. ♫

WV: tingel
I just tingel with excitement at the thought of Melvira singing you their version of Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

(That's my #1 choice for sexiest post.)

Sharon's Edible Art

Fool in a Tree said...

Is that a piping bag or are you just happy to see me?....

Oh, it is a piping bag. Um, ok. Oops.

Jingle said...

Happy Birthday! This post is pretty much hilarious, as per usual.

ditto said...

Happy Birthday John! May there be many "pasties" in your future!
(o)(o)

Ally said...

Awesome! I especially like the school one - glad to see the educators are sooo intelligent themselves. /sarcasm. :P

Oh - and Happy Birthday, dude. ;)

Natasha Winters said...

I WANTS BOOK! GIVE TO ME.

Also, Harpy Bifdae!

Anonymous said...

'greet job' works if you use a Scottish accent

ME! said...

Although I'm sure I won't win amongst the 753 comments,

YOU GUYS ROCK - once again...

Rach said...

Hippo Birdy, John! And may all your pasties be tastie!

Erin said...

You, my friend, have a way with wrecks. Happy Birthday!

Amanda | Glittericity said...

I'm, too sexy for this blog
2 sxey 4 dis websyt!,
oh! Not too sexy for some cake!

Happy birthday, John!!

Krystle said...

Another member of the November birthday club right here! Happy B-day to you John!

Caroline said...

Move out of the way for pasties and your OWN!!! b-day . so wake up ! And we want a nazi cake ( I mean seriously just 'cuze I am 9 dose not mean I do not have info on history(I LOVE history.).)

Talia Bigelow said...

Han Solo wearing nothing but his business socks on a steampunk contraption floating high in the sky?

Oh, and Happy Birthday!!!

sellita said...

Pasties for only a dollar!? Get on that!

sellita said...

i love pasties!

Emily said...

Aww, I feel sad that I missed yesterday, but I was off celebrating my birthday too!! Happy (belated) Birthday John!!

Jessica said...

Happy Birthday!
A sexy comment. It's 7:30 in the am here, I am not feeling very sexy ;_;...I really wish I was though, it might make my impending work day more interesting. XD I Just CAINT DO IT CAPTAIN. :(
-Jessica W.

Allison said...

Hubba hubba!!!

Happy birthday!

Joy said...

Well John let me just say that i do remember wen your birthday is. It is sooo close to my daughter's, and we talked about this in KC at the book signing.

Sorry i am late with this, but kiddos birthday kept me busy.

Sexy comments? you want sexy comments? hehe i still have that pic of your butt it's pretty sexy, and i would like to remind you the only reason i have it is because you walked in front of my camera.

Now hmm .. one more thing ..

you must have been awfully good lately to earn a capital letter on your name for your birthday *WINK*

Kandis said...

We have the same birthday! :D

Lori said...

For Ros: According to Urban Dictionary a Pastie is "A tassle for your nipple so you can get 'naked' but not be totally out there, but it doesn't cover very much at all." Hope this helps clear things up for you. :) Hippy Turdday, John!

Molly said...

It is wrong how much cease the moment makes me laugh. Granted I did read this post at 5 AM.

Molly said...

oh yeah, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Anonymous said...

...I automatically think of the foodstuff for pasties. They're really very common over here. It's like hearing someone make a doughnut innuendo - it could maybe mean something else, but the food is my first thought.

That said, this blog is awesome, and happy birthday. ^_^

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