Tuesday, November 2, 2010

John's Birthday Suit

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

It's my birthdy! And by "my" I mean it's john (the hubby of Jen)'s birthay. Granted, I don't usually speak of myself in the third person (unless I'm in the midst of seduction [which, admittedly, rarely works (but John never knows unless he tries!)])...but...um...where was I?

Oh, yeah: It's my birhday!

I originally wanted to write about those Canadian Nazi carrots you can buy at Epcot, but then I figured I'd just show you a bunch of misspelled cakes, so my own misspellings look international. Because I'm crazy like that. And giving. Yep, John's a giver.

[eyebrow waggle]

Look! A misspelling!

I believe it's spelled "Shirk." And since I did avoid seeing the last movie, this kind of works.


Isn't this called an oxymaroon?

Although if you roll the "r" while reading it out loud, you'll sound just like Sherk! Go on. Try it.

See what I mean? Now, all together: "Grrrreet job, don-kay!"


This one also seems a little contradictionary:

"Stop that right this second! Don't make me pull this event over!"


And since you long-time Wreckies know how fond I am of Earth Day cakes...

Listen! Do you smell Epcot?


And finally, this is not a cake, but I've gotta say...

...I pay way more for Jen's pasties.

Hm? What's this? Jen's telling me "pasties" are also British meat pies.

John thinks she's trying to tell him something. [eyebrow waggle]

John also would like to know why Jen rolls her eyes so much.


And now, because it's my brithday, I want to give you something special. Yes, that's right: John wants to give you something.

[duckface]

[Barry White music]

Awwww yeahhh. Mmmmmmm, baaaby. John knows what you want:


Cake Wrecks stuff!


So, leave me a comment, and I'll pick the sexiest two to win personalized copies of Cake Wrecks. (I'll even let Jen sign 'em.) The next sexiest two will win Cake Wrecks wall calendars.

In fact, because I'm such a giver, we're going to give stuff away every day this week, with even *more* give-aways on Facebook. Who loves me? Who is it? Oh yeah, it's you. Mmmhmmm. Happy briday to ME.

Check tomorrow's post for the winner's names, and also for your next chance to win stuff. Also watch the CW Facebook page this week for more chances to win exclusive CW pin packs and assorted goodies.

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SweetB said...

Happy Birthday John!

DarkPrincess said...

A very sexy Happy Sexy Birthday to the Sexiest Male Sexy Cake Wreck Sexy Blogger!
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sexy!

Katie said...

Happy Birthday, John!

Wendy H said...

Happy Birthday John!

Bow chicka wow wow......or as my kids would say "brown chicken brown cow!" ;)

Steve said...

John,

You and Jen are two funny (did you notice the pun?). I love following the cake wrecks pictures and your witty comments. And since my birthday is two days from now... (not sure where Steve's going with that).

-Steve Jones

Stella said...

I hope you have a harppy dey. From a Canadian Nazi carrot peeler...

Shanabanabobana said...

*Singing seductively* Happy birthday to you... you live in a zoo... you write real nice blog posts... *SCREACCCCCHHHH* crap I have to get back to work, productivity = 0 when you and Jen are seducing us with your business socks!

webbie said...

Hhhhaappy buhrthday to you!
Hhhhaappy buhrthday to you!
Hhhhaappy buhrthday Mr. Cakewrecks!
Hhhhaappy buhrthday to you!

Imagine the breathy voice of Marilyn singing it to you.

Now you can speak in third person.

SuzG said...

Happy Brithday Jhon! :)
How YOU doin'?

Anonymous said...

"The sexiest comment"

:-D

Kelly said...

Happy, happy birthday!!!

Angela K said...

SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY

Surely, this MUST be the SEXIEST comment posted. I already have the book, but a signed (by both of you, of course!)copy would be totally awesome! A calendar would be awesome, too, though.

Hapy Birday, Jhon!!

Jenn said...

Happy Birthday John! I'm too sick to think of anything sexy to say (my hubby stayed home to help take care of me and our 2 year old daughter, who is also sick). We all have to get better because hubby's birthday is this weekend and I'm going to have to come up with something sexy for him!

Free CW stuff would be a great present for me, I mean him!

WV: chall - I'm sure that is sexy to a southern boy like my hubby, but I'm not sure what it means.

Ricebubbles said...

Happy Birthday Johnnnn :D

I would bake you a cake but I'm in Australia (feel free to read this in an Australian accent... mate)

Hope you have a wonderful day :3
Chloe Hunnisett

Shelly said...

Epi Burfday, John!! :)

~Shelly

Unknown said...

Oh, Jen, I wish I was your hypotenuse so I could get between your legs...

how's *that* for sexy?

Happy Birthday John!

Lori R said...

I'm a seexy sexxy post, ya. *eyebrow waggle*

Can I have some stuff, Pleese?

geenalyn said...

A great fruit cake recipe -

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.Sample the whiskey to check for quality.Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Debbie said...

A most Heppy Birthdey is wished to you John.

Puns are for children, not groan readers. :o)

Laura Daisy said...

Happy Birthday!! Enjoy your pasties :P

Debbie said...

A most Heppy Birthdey is wished to you John.

Puns are for children, not groan readers. :o)

Lou Ann Walker said...

You say it's your birthday????? It's my birthday too! Happy Birhtday to YOU! Lou Ann Walker

Jules AF said...

My birthday is a week from today! November is such an awesome month.
Also, I've eaten pasties. They were delicious!

Kelli said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

angelirish19 said...

Happy birthday, John! You guys never fail to make me laugh. Every day. It really perks me up some days.

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday John, you sixy thing! (Wait, it is your 60th birthday right??? I will have to ask Jen about the jury verdict on the sexy decision!)

Justinian said...

Pasties, one dollar, pay at waistband.

Happy Birthday.

JOHN FOR PRESIDENT! OR CONGRESS! OR WHATEVER!

YooperJane said...

Pasties ("Paas-tees" with the "a" sounding like the "a" in "apple") are British. They are a very common food item in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where many Cornish immigrants settled in the late 1800's & early 1900's due to mining. They contain beef, rutabaga (or turnip), potatoes & onions in a crust. They are delicious! As with all things that have been Americanized, variations abound. From the time you head north over the Mackinac Bridge or cross the border from Wisconsin into God's Country (the U.P), you'll find pasty stores, pasties on restaurant menus, and churches and schools that do pasty sales as fund raisers. You really should look into this delectable delight!!

Another Jenn said...

Hoppy Birtday Fred
May you wrap your lips around everything you desire!

Rachael said...

Happy Birthday! Now pass those pasties this way.

Emily said...

Woot! Happy birthday! I must tell all my friends to offer giveaways near their birthdays, so they can get more greetings :).

Awesome idea John ;)

Teresa Fairlee said...

Tomorrow is MY birthday! I should totally win something. Sherk would want it that way!

Nightfall said...

May your carrot jockey never leave you for a plastic man on a frosting rug!

Happy Birthday John! Have fun in your Earth Day suit!

stashmuffin said...

Pickmepickmepickme!

Christina said...

Happy birthday, John!

Unknown said...

John,
I would happily cradle your third person to my heaving bosom, or possibly my heaving besom, which might actually be broom. Like all good wreckerators, I'm much too lazy to look it up. But that's the only thing I'm lazy at, if you get my drift, baby.

Inez S.

Anonymous said...

Mmm delicious meat filled pasties...my favorite :p
Hippy Birtday!

Libbie said...

OOOOh, John, I just love a man who's good with his hands! (and by that I mean you are a pro with hand held power tools ;-) ) My husband and I are working towards building a house in a few years and I want pretty much everything decorative inside to be either recycled, antiques, or DIY projects. I love seeing all the stuff you guys do and CakeWrecks cracks me up! You both rock, Happy Birthday!

Tara said...

Happy birthday!
Here's a nice bottle of red for you, where are the party favors?

Jenni said...

Ahaha, that's awesome. Hippy Berthday Jawn. Daisies!

sweetpagene said...

happy britday, jhon!

N'Schnurr said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK!

I mean...*husky voice* Happy Sexy Birthday Week *wink wink*

Husky voices are sexy right?

- RamaOtster. The Totster Overn.

IndigoMistress said...

John, Have great birthday, filled with "presents" and lots of "joy" with lots of people! Enjoy your "Cake" but let other people Enjoy your "Cake"! Don't be a "Cake" hog.
In other words, Courtney Hopes John Has a Great Birthday! ;)

chelbell said...

Happy birthday, John!

Unknown said...

Feliz Cumpleanos John! Que tengas un buen dia llena de pastel! ;)

Nama said...

Happy birthday!

And pasties...that's all I have to say.

ValMo said...

Happy 21st Burfday!

Love having my dose of cake wrecks early in the morn!

P.S. Are the calendars for sale? Would be such a great gift for my cake-making friends. =)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday John!
It's my birthday today too! :)
yay!
~Nikki

Karyn said...

Happy Birthday John!

ok ok...sexy comment huh...

Maple Syrup...Hockey Scars... Snowshoes...Flannel...

Wait, what? Thats only sexy to canadians like moi? ...then I go nothing, sorry

drumnate said...

Pasties on Meat Pies and celebrating Ear Day. Did I really read that or am I just seeing what I want to see?

Cyndi said...

I bet you sure look cuuuuute in your birthday suuuuit!

Happy birthday John!! (I want the signed book!) :)

Anonymous said...

Dynelle -Mn
Happy Birthday

T said...

Pasties, a duck face, and John! Oh my! Happy Birthday to the awesome hubby of JEN :)

Chava Malka Cooper said...

when i see pasties i don't think of food (eyebrow waggle)

cathy said...

Happy Brithdey! Who you callin' pasty? I may be pale (it is fall, you know) but you're gettin' a bit personal, now.
Cathy
catsch1 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Starry said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It's my birthday on Saturday. Hopefully there will be cake but no cake wrecks, HAHA!

Liane said...

Those are some cheap pasties!

Mollie said...

Nappy Blob Blob John!!



You guys gonna go to Epcot to celebrate? (;

Ai said...

When wearing only pasties, one shouldn't eat pasties.

You choose which of the pasties is "not the pasties you're looking for".

JuliaKoponick said...

Hippy Brithday John!

I hope that Jen jumps out of a cake with nothing but little "Mohawk babies riding carrots", piped onto the best places to nibble.

(I think I kept that PG enough for the younger readers.)

I know my husband always likes licking frosting off my body. I find that it isn't quite as sexy when I put it on my elbows as when I put it on places usually covered by clothing. *wink* *wink*

In other exciting brifday suggestions, have you considered the advantages of frosting being placed strategically on you? Maybe Jen could make you the carrot? *chuckle*

Okay, not that I have at least cracked myself up, and it isn't even my Ear Day, I will leave you with this last thought.

Hoardest: Jon would be hoardest if he got Jen to eat and then ride his "carrot." (I am sure it is just another intentional misspelling.)

Erin said...

Is pregnant sexy currently?
Happy birthday!

Unknown said...

Pasties are things which Cornish miners used to carry in their pockets.

This seems wrong, somehow.

I got this information from a board game called Steel Driver.

This seems horribly wrong.

But all British food sounds like it was named on a dare...

Anonymous said...

Oh Ros, Pasties are meat and potato foldover pies that Welch miners took for lunch. They are pronounced "past-ees" - with the short A.

Pasties "paste-ees" appeal to other male senses - usually not edible, being sometimes tasseled accessories that are pasted onto what it is that males like to see bouncing around on mostly naked females/strippers.

Ah, the balance between crudities and crudites :-). Norine

Laura M. said...

Happy Birthday, John!

I think dating a Brit has ruined my eye for bad grammar... I saw "pasties" and didn't think anything of it!

Rain Barrel Collector said...

'Twould not be fair for me to compete in the contest, so I'll just wish you a happy birthday. I shan't sing, so it won't end early.

Kara Lynn said...

Kara would like to wish John a happy birthday!! :-)

mandy said...

It's my sister's birthday today too! And she kinda has a crush on you but that was supposed to be a secret....

nursemom said...

Now, in Spanish...

Apio Verde a Ti,
Apio Verde a Ti,
Apio Verde al Juan,
Apio Verde a Ti!

..in a CW sort of way. No, thank my high school spanish teacher.

Everything is sexier in a foreign language!

Anonymous said...

Hey, John...wanna visit Spaceship Earth with me? If you know what I mean?! Huh? Do ya? Hmmmmm?

Oh hell, never mind...I suck at this.

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday John, it's my Gram's birthday too. She's 92 today! =)

Unknown said...

I won the sexiest costume at a costume party on saturday night. But I think its because I embodied the most sexes in my costume. I was a girl going as a boy who dresses up like a girl. Yup, I was a drag queen.

Also, you wouldn't have to pay shipping of the book if I win because you can give it to your friend BJ who I'm in choir with.

Anonymous said...

I actually picture Mike Myers playing his Scottish father in So I Married An Axe Murderer saying the "grrreet!!!" Obviously same voice, but different image! Sad, I know.

Marsha said...

Happy Birthday, John! My husband's name is also John so while I could say something really sexy to you on your birthday, it would be, well... just weird!

Jessica said...

Happy Birthday John!

FlatlanderInVT said...

/me singing ala Marilyn Monroe "Happy Birthday Mr. Cake Rex" Hmm would that make you cake King? Perhaps for the day I suppose. Anyhow have a great birthday this post cracked me up. Heh.

Nicole said...

Happy birthday, John! In an effort to be the sexiest, this comment tried to unbutton her blouse but realized she didn't have one, since she's pixellated text. So now she's trying to order a sexy chewbacca costume so you'll think she's sexy. I don't have the heart to tell her she couldn't put it on, either.

Crystal said...

The sexiest two.

(You said you'd pick the sexiest two, so there it is.)

Anonymous said...

"fatio"? I got fatio for a word verification lol. Love the Sherk! we're big sherk fans around here lol. Happy Birthday John!

Brittany said...

Happy Birthday! I love Cake Wrecks! I now look for wrecks every time I am at the store/bakery or whatever.

Michelle said...

I have nothing witty or sexy to say so I will go with the traditional HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!!!

Melinda said...

Happy birthday! LOVE the pasties sign!!! Thanks for getting my day started with a laugh!

tulipdjc said...

Happ y brithday Jonh!! Hope it is Greet!!!!

Christi said...

hSaEpXpSy EbXiSrEtXhSdEaXy!

Because what's sexier than subliminal messaging?

Have a fabulous birfday.

Melanie said...

Happy Birthday aaaaaannd I feel a little dirty after reading this post.

earlleen said...

Hoppy Bird-Legs John.

Have a very sexy birthday.

Oh and Fluffycow, that's my kind of foreplay!

Stacy Q said...

First you have to shave your head. Take off your shirt, and put on black jeans and cowboy boots. Hold your hands up behind your head.
Then you can gyrate around singing
"I'm too sexy for my cake, too sexy for my cake, too sexy for my cake...!"

I know I probably lost you at the shave your head part.

Andy said...

So, I'm guessing if John is doing the judging that I, as a man, have next to no chance of being judged the sexiest. But here's hoping.

Sewconsult said...

Happpy Birtday, Jhn. They have pastie (fried hand sandwiches in Michigan. According to my father-in-law, the were originally made for the lumber men as they went off for the day. They not only were good for eating, but kept their pockets warm!

BADKarma! said...

Your "birhday", huh?

(Laffin')

WV - subcal: Every subcal performance deserves a "cease the moment" cake!

Caroline B said...

Happy Burfday John!

You can nibble my pasties any time you want to......................... bearing in mind they are indeed meat pies I'm afraid! Further to a previous comment, the thick crust of a Cornish miner's pasty was thrown away as it would end up covered in coal dust from being fingered....nudge, nudge, wink, wink, eh? Eh?

emilie said...

I love misspellings that completely change the meaning.

tjbmurph said...

Happy Birthday to both of us! Tara likes cakes too and is seriously hoping her's? hers? (this third person gets confusing) MY cake is worthy to be called a wreck...

John... pasties... Tara is highly amused (or scared)

Logan said...

A sexy off eh? I hot this.


*got

Joni said...

But were they edible pasties?? happy bday!

cora DeHaven said...

*A large cake is rolled in. Written boldly upon the top in brown chocolate poo font is "HAPPIE BURTHDAY JOAN!" But it gets better... seconds later in a shower of rainbow sprinkles, a woman wearing St. Patrick's Day shamrock bongles on her head and a rainbow two piece bathing suit begins to croon* "It's my... *Nervous looking around as she hums...picks up brightly off key* ..birthday and i'll cry if i want tooooo!"

Indeed. Have a good one!

Eve said...

Hippy Bidet to ya, Joan!
(I'm keeping it clean, so I couldn't say "john," right?)

Lauren said...

do you know what's sexy? the fact that the great pumpkin has gone back to his maker, waiting to be reborn until next year. It looks like before he left, he laughed and then took a crap on all of these cakes. His rotting flesh creates evil and potent misspelling magic.

jcyc21 said...

Happy Birthday baby-cakes! (sexy, huh???)

Claire said...

The best part about birthdays is the song!

And you smell like one too!

SoupAddict Karen said...

Chicks love the eyebrow waggles.

Penny Gardner said...

Cornish pasties have meat & vegetables in them - a complete meal! Recipe available at:
http://www.cornishpastyassociation.co.uk/images/recipe.pdf

Shannon said...

Ahem (In a sexy Marylin Monroe Voice) Happy Birthday Mr. Cake Wrecker... Happy Birthday toooo yooouuu. -May your cake be cream filled!

Cat Bieber said...

I don't -think- I already saw this...so, here goes...

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday.
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
On your Birthday...
Happy Birthday.
Storm the castle, burn the keep.
Kill the women -- SAVE THE SHEEP!
On your Birthday...
Happy Birthday.
This one lesson you must learn:
First you pillage *then* you burn.
On your Birthday.
Happy Birthday.

If you have never heard this before, please google "Birthday Dirge". I'm sure there is a video/recording somewhere of someone singing it.

Rikki said...

Do you use buttercream or ganache to glue on your pasties? [waggling eyebrows]

Marilyn M. said...

"Haappyyyy Birthdayyyy to youuuu...

Haappyyyy Birthdayyy to youuuu...

Happpyyy Biiirthdayyy, Mr. Johnnnn...

Happyyy Biirthdayyy to you

Thanks, Mr John

For all the things you’ve done...

The flotsam you've seen...

The way you deal with CCCs...

And our poo cakes by the ton...

We thank you so much

Everybody, happy birthday"

Jim Todd said...

Happy Birthday, John!

Alisha said...

I'm having a moral dilemma trying to think up a "sexy" post because I know you're a married man. NO SEXY FOR YOU!

Happy Birthday, Mr. President.

Jennifer said...

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. The sun was shining. The atmosphere of The King's English was redolent with laughter and the smell of cake. I was eating a concoction of fudgy goodness, whiling away the time until Signing Group D was called.

And suddenly, there you were, sitting on the lawn next to me. Our eyes met, and I knew that the twinkle in them was just for me. Your fingers brushed mine as you gave me a pin. It said, "I want sprinkles!" and I swore then and there I would forever be known as Sprinkles.

(Ok, not really. Because that's kind of a weird nickname. And I gave the pin to my daughter who was with me that day, the one who took the picture, and then you grabbed the camera and took a picture of all of us, including Jen- hi Jen!- at arm's length and it turned out truly hilarious, and I keep bugging her to send it to you, but what with college and work and stuff...)

Um. Yeah. So I guess the moment wasn't as sexy as I remembered it. But still, Hppy Brithday Under Neat That Something Funny! (And just for Jen- Amuse me, Monkey!)

-Another Jen

lunaburning said...

Happy Birthday, bebeh! You're the wreckiest!

Katy said...

Happy Birthday! Hope it's grrrrreet!

Rooh said...

Greet job with the eyebrow waggle, Jon-ay. Yer wee lass may make ye pay more fer 'er pasties, but I'm sure they're grand for ye. Less, a'course, they're cupcake pasties ... Then yer done fer! And she'd be madder than a hen in a cockhouse too! Wait, er, what was that? Mah dang metaphers ..

(Happy Birthday! Great post!)

Christine said...

I'm British so I had no idea that pasties were anything other than a delcious savoury pastry product until I read todays post!
Anyway Happy Birthday John, in a British style, wishing you a very stiff...



...upper lip of course, what were you thinking?

Birdlady42 said...

Awwwwwwwww, yeaahhhhh. I've got 240 dollars worth of puddin' for ya, John!

WV = "tridati" - when the site "Go Daddy" is having a bad day, it doesn't really go, it just tries.

WitchyMel said...

Happy Birdthay!
Happy Brthiday!
May the Candles on your cake
burn like cities in your wake!
Happy Boithday!
Happy Rithbady!
Let the women wail and weep
Slay them all but spare the SHEEP!
(Like eevry good Sherk, ookay Don-kay?)

WV-Neezin- Sit down, shut up, keep yer neezin and hold on to the Epcot!

Velcro Wallpaper, When you absolutely, positively need a break from the kids!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday indeed!
And where's the surprise in telling you in advance about what's sexy? It's all in the unexpectedness!
Sandra

Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm hoping you just pick comments at random because I canNOT do sexy in this situation! Too weird.

Anon Rebecca

Anonymous said...

(Ahem, let me try this again.0

Sapo Verde to chew!
Sapo Verde to chew!
Sapo Verde to Juaaaannn!
Sapo Verde to chew!

Sezy no?

Pamela said...

In the words of my son's first birthday cake .... "Happy Birthay" John.

Audra said...

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray Today is Johns Birthday! Not the beavers or the bears, not the pickels or the pears, not tomorrow or yesterday, But today is Johns Birthday!!!!

Hope you have a fun day today.

ps. The song is way more fun in person. Hope you've heard it before so you know the tune.

Anonymous said...

While "pasties" may indeed be a real thing, I'm having a hard time believing they were selling little meat pies at a coffee shop. COME ON, PEOPLE! They accidentally left the "r" out of "pastries." IT'S FUNNY!!

Anon Rebecca

Erica said...

Happy birthday!!!

B said...

I think my hubby has taken lessons on seduction from you... I'm usually laughing so hard that I'm powerless to resist. :)

The Single Mama said...

thanks for putting "grrrrrreeeet job, don-kay!" in my head. it'll be there all. day. long. and so i thank you on behalf of my coworkers, as well :). because i'm sure they'll be hearing it.

Gail said...

Have a very happy birthday. Now imagion that said from a cute girl in a semi-steampunk outfit. I've even put back on a bowler hate for you. Sexy enough?

Cooper said...

Sexiest comment...

Well, my boyfriend always seems to like it when I get his obscure references. So does it make it sexy if I tell you I got your Ghostbusters reference? Does it make it sexier if I tell you I went as Zuul for Halloween?

That's it, that's all I got.
- K.Cooper

ShelbyP said...

Happy Birthday, Pastie Man!

MamaChristy said...

Pasties to go with cake... Sounds like the world's most messed up buffet at a strip join. Happy birthday, John!

Unknown said...

Bummer. I'm too late to be the sixtieth comment. Or was that Sexiest? Hmm, sexy. Ok, here you go: "Mmmm, Oooh, Ahhhh, Ohhhhh yeah. YES! YES! YES!........ That is the best cake ever!!! (She said with a wink and a smile.)

Happy Birthday!

M. Card

Cooper said...

Hmmm - sexiest post, eh?

Well, my boyfriend always appreciates it when I get his nerdy references. So does it make it sexy if I say I got your Ghostbuster reference? Does it make it sexier if I say I went as Zuul for Halloween? Guess what, big guy - they're both true!

That's it - that's all my sexiness. I'm spent. (Sorry if this is a repost - reposts are sexy, too, though.) - Cooper

Veronica Thunstrom said...

LMAO as usual! Ave a greet berthdy Jun! May yer day be filled with greet things like $1 Pasties!

Holly said...

Holly says she hopes John has a Hippo Burfday (in her most sexiest voice of course)!

Lael said...

Wuubuh Wuubuh.

Jester Queen said...

Honk if you love pasties on Jesus Dino cakes.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

john (the hubby of Jen)

Hippy barth day too yuuuuuuuu
Wreckers live in a zoo
They frost cakes like a monkeyyyyyy
Aaaaannnnd they spell like one too!

Did you have a firm grip on your patriotism and vote today? :-D

Lois V.

My wv is calend. It means I need a 2011 calendar [batting eyelashes] Please?!

Anonymous said...

Happy Bearthdy! :D My birthday is tonight/tomorrow according to the Hebrew calendar. Does that count for anything?

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday John! That's coming from a librarian. And there's no one sexier than a librarian, right?

Maybe if I sing to you while I stare at you from above my glasses. Ahem.

Hippo birdie, two ewe...hippo birdie two ewe, hippo birdie, deer John, hippo birdie, two ewe!

Okay, that's enough. Shhhhhhhhh!!!

-Jeanette

Unknown said...

Well, you know what I thought when I read pasties!? It was going to be an amazing birthday! I'm glad you get to celebrate the greet day at the polls voting!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

Alex said...

Happy birthday John!

Pasties are delicious, especially cornish pasties which were originally given to miners for their lunch. One side was meat and vegetables and the other was full of apple or other such delicious fruit.
Knowledge is sexy!
Although having read Allie's post about haggis I'm now tempted to try haggis pastie experiments.

Mmmmmmmmm haggis...

WV: warsub. I launch my warsub at the dastardly wreckers. Those dastards!

PicklePie'sNan said...

Picture this John;
Marilyn Monroe with her pouty lips and her little white dress leaning into the microphone singing Happy Birthday to You yes you John!

Ok that's the fantasy, here are the facts!

I'm fifty, flabby and fabulous and for sure wishing you a Pea Pod HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

PicklePie's Nan

ajanowiecki said...

Happy "Birday" John! My wish for you is that Jen remembers that icing is not just for cake (at least that's what my hubby keeps telling me!) ;)

Thanks for the countless laughs!

Rebecca said...

Happy Birthday!

Anonymous said...

I read the last line of writing on the third cake as "Grease the Marmot", which worries both me and the local marmot population.

BevB said...

Razzamatazz & Rootie Toot Toot
I'd like to see you in your birthday suit.

Hey- at my age that's as sexy as it gets, pal.

Nevadamtnbear said...

Happy Birthday John! I have one question - are Jen's pasties edible? I mean, I thing the glitter glamor of tassels are cool and all, but the real fun begins with edible tassels pasties! (Think candy necklace).

RamblingMother said...

Happy birtday, John.

Dakota said...

haha These are great!

Happy Birthday! Eat lots of cake! (Just be sure the deli guy decorates it).

Sherri said...

(singing with a sexy voice)

"You're older than you've ever been and now you're even older,
and now you're even older,
and now you're even older.

You're older than you've ever been
and now you're even older,
and now you're older still."

Jenny said...

Happy Birthday John! Now I'm gonna have Barry White stuck in my head all day - not exactly a bad thing :)

Anonymous said...

Heppy bihrday, John.

May your life be full of pasties and mithspellings. Long live CW, john(husband of Jen), and Jen... and all his {[(o)]}{[(o)]}

(o)(o)

(O)(O)

~~Di

Anonymous said...

"Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun,
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun!
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

And a pinch to grow an inch!"

I love Weird Al! Happy Birthday, John, and many many more!

Alexandra said...

Sexiest, hmm?

How YOU doin'?

-waggle-

Happy birthday!

Collins said...

Oh, baby! CAKE ME!

Becca said...

Happy Barfday John!!

VTIS4ME! said...

Happy Birthday,fella...you fellow Scorpio! My boyfriend's B-day is the 25th and I KNOW would like a Birthday present of pasties used as pasties. It's like Reese's-two great tastes that taste great together!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Jon! Oops! John!

I'm nevah goin' to give you up or dessert you!

My own version of a Rickroll.

Thank YOU for so many laughs. I never pass the bakery up in hopes I WILL see a wreck - it's CW's fault. ;-)

Joanie

Good luck tonight!

Aliza said...

Since Canada has two official languages, I'll wish you happy birthday AND bonne anniversaire! Because everything good is even better the second time around.

So, that will then ensure you can get a regular cake AND a cakewreck cake :) (What, you thought I was being naughty there? If your mind was in the gutter, you were only stepping on mine...)

As for saying something sexy to a married man-- clearly Jen is very creative, so I'll just say I'm sure she has some very entertaining plans for you :) After all, John's not only her spouse but also her colleague. That takes a special guy... and requires special rewards . She won't Sherk her opportunity to do a Greet job, and cease the moment, to celebrate John's birthday!

Blyss said...

Happy Bithday John!

Required sexy comment:
*sultry voice* Is that extra icing in your piping bag or are you just happy to see me?

*snicker*

Anonymous said...

Pasties...the breakfast of champions!!!

Lena said...

Happy Birthday John!

Josin L. McQuein said...

The sad part is, that "cease the moment" cake is lettered beautifully.

If only, if only.

SJSiff said...

Today is my birthday, too! Hope yours is also a fun one.

Anonymous said...

Pasties...the breakfast of champions!

Kat S. said...

Mix wreckerators and pop music and what do you get?

Birhdey exs.

Macroinvertebrate said...

You're right about reading the Greet Job cake with a rolled r. How do you guys figure this stuff out?

Happy birthday!

Kizzy said...

Happy birthday John! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Anonymous said...

*written in a breathy Marilyn monroe voice*

Hippo Birdy, two ewes,
Hippo Birdy, two ewes,
Hippo Birdy, Dear John,
Hippo birdy, Two ewes.

Sweet Somethings by Dawnetta said...

Frosting, sprinkles and pasties... Hope you have a very Happy Birthday, John. ;-)

The Princess of Oz said...

Haappee birfday! Enjoy those pasties, but tell Jen that you want a discount on hers since it's your birthday . . . hav a greet day!

Judy S. said...

Happy birthday John. Hope you get all the pasties you want.

Marney said...

Happy Birthday, John!
This blog post definitely made me laugh. Oh, and by the way, the last Epbot post with the tutorial about elevating the posters or whatever else is great! I'm definitely going to try it when I get a chance so thank you for asking Jen to write a tutorial on it!

Caitlin said...

Don't pick me. Don't give me a Cake Wrecks calendar, whatever you do. Give it to one of these much, much more deserving people who obviously care very, very deeply about your birthday and aren't just trying to curry favor with you. Or one of the poor souls that seems to have a rare form of Tourette's that makes them shout the word "SEXY" over and over. They are much more deserving than I.

So whatever you do.

Don't.

Pick.

Me.

(Oh yeah, reverse psychology. Works like a charm. ;P)

Ice Queen said...

Happy Birthday! :D

Trust me when I tell you that men will never understand why we women roll our eyes. So, don't even try. :P

Stampin'Cat said...

A very merry birthday to you!

Mary said...

Ear Day is my favourite holiday. It's so earotic!

Laura said...

Have a happy birthday John... here's hoping your cake is more "Sunday Sweet" worthy than rest of the week wrecked.

princess jen said...

Hmmmm.... Maybe you need some of your own pasties ;) Happy Bridthay!!!!

Jen Johnson

Jabby said...

Cake Wrecks can always help bring a smile to my face when I'm feeling horribly depressed like today. And also put me in the mood for cake which also cheers me up. Mmmm cake. Thanks guys!

And Happy Birthday John!! I hope you bday cake isn't wrecky!!

SuBee said...

Happy, happy, happy, happy Birthday (Birthday!)
Happy, happy, happy, happy Birthday (Birthday!)
Happy, Happy Birthday,
Happy, Happy, Happy Birtday,
Happy Birthday to You!



I stopped doing sexy loooong ago!

Mumin said...

HIPPY PAPY BTHUTHDUTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY!
as Owl wrote so perfectly. :)

mk said...

may the cake rise up to treat you; may the icing always be on your lips; may the oven heat sear sweat beads upon your face & cuppie dolls dance around you sultrily singing, "haaappy birrrthday, dear johnny boy, haaappy birrrthday to yooooou!"

Caroline said...

Great post. My brihdayhrr isn't until July... But now I think I've been forever traumatized and will never purchase a birthdry cake at Wal-Mart again for fear of what I might find...

Wendy said...

It's John's birthday, for heaven's sakes!
In her pasties, Jen bakes and bakes.
First she greases his pan
(she CAN please her man),
then they frolic between the sheet cakes.

(Just be thankful I couldn't figure out how to work in "pound cake.")

flip flop mama said...

Happy Brithdy!

Lulu said...

Psst... John. Here's something that I wanted to share with you.


You share a birthday with my grandmother.

*wink*

Also, a lot of people are reiterating that pasties are meat pies. Who knows? The photo does not allow us to see inside the glass case. There might be dozens, nay thousands of meat pies waiting to be eaten. That would explain why the pasties are such a bargain.

No the real wreck is that they they are selling Toffee Mocha "Frappucino."

What is it Anonymous Starbucks Employee? Are two C's are too good for you?

*shakes head*

Stoich91 said...

Happy Birthday, Jin! May you have many more unmispelled quakes in the years to coem! Great giveaway, great post! :D

Sean said...

"Birhday"? It's very ironic, John, to have a Cake Wrecks post about misspellings that has the word "birthday" misspelled. :-)

sherrypg said...

Your daddy must have been a baker because you've got a nice set of buns.

Hoppy birdeggs!

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday John! Tomorrow I turn the big 4-0!!!!!

Enjoy your pasties and your birthday cake!

Jennifer said...

Happy Bday hop for manly more, and always hop for the pasties.

Cheryl888 said...

Happy Birthday John!

Andrew said...

Hippo birfday Jeohn! May it be a grat one with many pasty cakes! (all spelling mistakes are intentional)

pins and nettles said...

Birthdays was the worst days, now we drink champagne when we're thirsty.
Or you could eat pasties and wrecks, oh my.
Happy birthday to you!

Cheri Hollifield said...

John, it's my birthday, too! Happy November 2nd Day!

What day is today?
It's John's & Cheri's birthday.
What a day for a birthday!
Now let's have some cake!

(Thanks Futurama for a non-copyrighted birthday song!)

mk said...

may the cake rise up to treat you, may the icing always be on your lips;
may the oven heat sear sweet sweat beads on your face & cuppie dolls dance around you sultrily singing, "haaappy birrrthday, dear johnny boy; haaappy birrrthday to yooooou!"

Melissa said...

Bonne festivus!

Anonymous said...

Kim: Happy Birthday John... I hope it is a Greet day!

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday John!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, hope you don't get too "pastie-faced"..........:)

Public Transitor said...

Happi Barfday full stop balloons

caitlin to pick up

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