Gosh, Kermit, I Think I'd Get That Looked At...

The store selling these cakes (oh yes, there are more!) claims that they are watermelons.

Riiiight.

As you can see from this other example, the "slice" appears to have drifted southward over time, resulting in the truly unfortunate and rather alarming spectacle you see here. In fact, this guy could be the new spokesman for certain "personal care" items, don't you think? Can't you just see him bouncing across your television screen, his squeaky voice telling you to "ask your doctor if HerpAway is right for you!"?


Thanks to Bahktin for the pic, originally posted here.

This Calls for a Celebration!

Would you believe someone's boss actually brought this into the office? (Or should I say, "The Office"? It certainly looks like something Michael would order for an office party, doesn't it?)

I love that someone - either the customer or the decorator - felt that "sexual harassment" needed to be illustrated. And I realize that the decorator can't be expected to be Picasso or anything, but check out how far the girl's feet are off the ground. Either that was the Spank Heard 'Round the World, or she's on an invisible step while Chuckles there digs for gold.

Before you ask, yes, I hear the boss got in some deep doo-doo. Can't imagine why, though; I mean, it's got a big red "NO" symbol over it, doesn't it? And all those spanking demonstrations were purely for educational purposes, so really, what's the big deal?

I Believe the Children are Our Future

"Teach them well and LET them lead the way,
Show them all the [juvenile delinquency] they possess insiiiiide…"


Because every four-year-old is searching for a hero, that’s why. And if that hero can bus’ a cap with his 9 mil (check the photo), so much the better.

Play on, Lil’ Derrick: play on.



Thanks to Mary B. for pointing this one out over on Photo Basement.

In Honor of the 2008 Olympic Games

Such skill.

Such dignity.

Such...parentheses?

And quotation marks - can't forget the quotation marks:


(Three guesses what the customer asked for on the cake!)


Julie S., this one most definitely deserves a gold medal.

Play It Again, Wrecks.

Proving that the lightning of horrendous taste does indeed strike more than once, here are some designs that may look a wee bit familiar:

Remember this?
Here's another bride who thought an edible version of herself was a smashing idea:

We can only hope that the baker wasn't finished when this photo was taken, of course. I would assume this is the "topper" for an edible skirt - but it's anyone's guess why there are no arms.

Next up: remember the unforgettable baby bum cake? Well, it evidently started a trend:

This just might be more disturbing than the original Wreck, since there isn't even a possibility of the front end existing. It's just a bisected baby with waxy-looking legs being cruelly taunted with that tiny little teddy bear. I mean, really, how's she supposed to play with that? Sheesh, some people are so insensitive...

But(t) wait: there's more! Yes, if that doesn't strike your fancy, here's an assortment of bums to choose from - with the added dubious advantage of looking absolutely nothing like a baby's lower half:



Continuing the shower theme (since it tends to be the worst offender), let's move on to the Wreck that introduced the word "wachungas" into my vocabulary:

As many of you have pointed out, this is actually a beautifully done cake: it's just a wrecktastic design. Brace yourself, though, because this is about to become a veritable beacon of subtlety and good taste. Ready? Here goes...

I think I saw this outfit modeled on one of Maury Povich's "Who's the Daddy?" episodes.


But even that is restrained compared to this:

Because every woman who's 8 months pregnant just loves getting Brazilians and lounging in a teensy tiny bikini...with her stethoscope.

Um. What?

Oh, wait, I get it! The stethoscope is cold, see? That explains the whole Cuban missile crisis issue going on up there, if ya knowuddamean.

And lastly, please put down any food or beverage items, because I unfortunately must remind you of this dry-heave-inducing creation:

Everyone still have those beverages at a safe distance? No food in your mouths? Ok, good. Proceed.


And with that, I will leave you. Enjoy your lunches now, y'hear?


Thanks to Joy D., Stephanie F., Summer, Marz, & J.B. for the photos.

Ode to Irony

This is poetry in frosting, folks. In fact, I think I feel a Haiku coming on…


Sweet tasting mistakes,
Such standards for our children:
Weep for our future.


Thanks to Monique R., one of my dedicated "Wreckporters", for the pic.

Extra Terrible

What the customer said:
“So we’re throwing a going-away party for our friend, and we’d like you to write “Good luck at U.C.”, since that’s the college she’s going to. Also, she’s a big E.T. fan – you know, from the movie? – so we want to incorporate that somehow. I’ll leave it up to you; we just want something E.T.- related on it. Can you do that? Yeah? Cool! Thanks!”


What the decorator heard:
“Blah blah blah, write blah E.T. blah blah on it. Blah.”


What the decorator was thinking:
“Okey doke, easy peasy, now I’ll just write 'Good Luck'... oh, wait: does 'good' have two 'o's or two 'd's? Dang. Oh well, I’ll just make this letter look a little like both. There! No one will notice anyway. Ok, and then: 'at…U.C…'...thank goodness that doesn’t need any periods; those are so hard to do with this icing! Ok, let’s see here…you know, I think I'm going to go the extra mile for these folks and write E.T. on it THREE times. And I’m pretty sure just the 'E' has a period… yeah, that looks right. Dum dee dum…. There! All done! Aw, they are just going to love me.”

Cake for a Cat-Lover

I think the baker captured that blank look of mortal terror quite well, don't you?


So for dog lovers, this is a "Creepy Cake". For cat lovers, it's "Just Funny". What say you, readers?