With all the royal wedding coverage out there, a lot of us girls have been spending this week imagining our own Princess Diaries moment.
Now, I don't know about you guys, but mine goes a little something... like this...
[harpsichord dream sequence music plays]
First, there's a whirlwind romance with the dashing stranger who looks like a cross between Nathan Fillion and Kiefer Sutherland during his Three Musketeers days.
Next, we sink straight into the Fire Swamp.
No, no, just kidding.
Next we play BioShock together until 2AM.
Later, afterdressing up as Venkman and Staypuft for Halloween (I'm Venkman, of course), and confessing our undying love for one another, there's a painfully romantic proposal:
Performed in an inflatable kiddie pool.
"Jen," my dashing prince would say, "Will you be my own Princess Peach?"
To which I would respond, "Are you kidding? Do Vulcans need the Pon Farr? "(But we are going to Disney for the honeymoon, right?)"
And, BAM! I'm a princess! Next thing you know, I'm living in a castle...
"And over here is your TARDIS closet. As you can see, it is much, MUCH bigger on the inside."
...and wearing pretty princess crowns...
(Modeled after crabby Space Invaders, apparently.)
...and pretty princess dresses...
("Talk about your trunk space, check this action out!")
...and riding my Princess Vespa around...
(Ok, technically this would be a Princess Harley.)
...and...and...wait.You know what? Other than the castle and crown stuff, I've already got my fairy tale ending, complete with BioShock playing, Princess Bride quoting, brownie baking prince. (Love you, Sweetie.)
So I guess I'll just end here by wishing all of you:
I like the short and fluffy ones, myself.
Thanks to today's dream team Debbie B., Anony M., Lisa V., Lisa P., Julia B., Vanessa C., & Stephanie S., who, for the record, never even knew fairies *had* tails.
Like all of you, I am simply in a TIZZY waiting to see the royal wedding tomorrow. Or, more accurately, the royal wedding cake.
I mean, think about it: this is the cake that must end all cakes. It has to outshine, outdo, and outhouse every dream of every girl who has ever dreamed of being a princess! [sigh]
Plus, just imagine the unbelievable stress the poor bakers must be under at this very moment. The agony! The suspense! The weighty sense of impending doom, should their one shot at world-wide glory, fame, and adoration fail! BWAHAHAHAAAA!
Wishing you the best of luck, guys!
So, what do you think it'll be? Something colorful?
Of course, whatever it is, you know it'll have to be an upstanding specimen...
...with just the right emphasis on the fact that they live in a castle, and you don't:
Hey, maybe it'll be inspired by Kate's wedding dress!
Or maybe it'll just show the couple's deep love and affection for one another:
("Pardon me, your lordship, but would you care for a slice of chocolate thigh?"
"Ruddy good, yes! Tally ho! What what!*")
Well, whatever the outcome tomorrow, I'm sure so long as the bakers don't give the happy couple the cold shoulder, they'll be fine.
Must. Stop. Staring at. Shoulder hock.
Many thanks to wreckporters Christin S., Gary & Brittany J., Melissa B., Kelli B., Amy E., Anna K., and Lou for today's joint efforts.
*Yes, I know all British people do not sound like this. But the really cool ones do.
Note from john: For some reason, the comment section is acting all wonky today so if you don't have a Google account, you can't leave a comment. With any luck, the Google Overlords will fix the problem soon. Wreck On!
During the celebration of Passover, it's traditional for participants to avoid all types of leavening, like yeast. In fact, you could say this is one of the most important, key features of the entire celebration.
So maybe someone should tell these bakers.
Let's hope it ages well.
Now, before I start an Epcot here: yes, there *are* flour-less Passover cakes and pastries.
But I'm pretty sure this isn't one of them:
And if there's time, Google "Passover."
And then return that Wonders of the Pyramids gift book.
During Passover there is a special dinner called the Seder, which is used to recount the Exodus story and teach the younger generations. It is very Jewish. By which I mean, if you're *not* Jewish, or of the Jewish faith, then you're probably not celebrating the Seder. And, at least to my knowledge, there are no Buddhist Seders or New Age Seders or Ed Hardy Seders; Jews pretty much have a corner on the Seder market.
Why do I bring this up?
Hey, is this like wishing someone a "Merry Christian Lent"?
'Cuz I'm totally doing that now. (Although, all things being equal, maybe I should write it on a chocolate bar.)
Thanks to today's Wreckporters Evelyn G., Amy K., & Alana M. for getting a rise out of these Wrecks.
Update from john: [rubbing temples] To those of you currently chilling in the Epcot Bunker™, yes, anyone can make a lovely Seder. Apparently there are [insert comment count here] non-Jews doing so.
I'll be posting my Passover greetings this Monday, but in the meantime, allow me to wish the rest of you a truly heartfelt...
AndI mean that.
All together now! Who are we?
And what are we celebrating?
It's kind of like Easter, only for people named Ed who have an aversion to script.
Of course, to many people Easter is the celebration of Christ's resurrection.
To others, it's the celebration of strung-out bunnies in search of their next omelet.
Sometimes this can lead to Easter being accused of over commercialization, and focusing too little on its religious roots. However, when it comes to cake, at least, I think I can speak for us all when I say...
(Photo removed at the request of the baker. Please enjoy this lovely photo of Epcot.)*
Let's just stick to wrecking the bunnies.
After all, the lamb cake is often said to represent either the Passover lamb or Christ himself. So with that in mind, look at this cake:
Now tell me: which is creepier? That, or...
Ok, we'll call it a draw.
In fact, both of those were so creepy I nearly pooped a pumpkin! But then I realized that wouldn't be season-appropriate. So instead, I...
...excreted an egg.
Thanks to Megan C., Kelley N., Lisa B., Byron K., Erin E., Kristy B., & Darla D. for cracking us up. Hard-boiled humor like this always goes over easy.
*The picture we removed was of a cross cake which was a bit wonky, had random decorations and was "decorated" (squirted) with white icing. Really quite lovely especially if you're a fan of king cakes.
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
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