Friday, July 22, 2011

The Search for the World's Most Disturbing Shower Cake ENDS HERE

Friday, July 22, 2011

You know how I'm always telling you baby butt cakes could be so much worse?


Things are about to get so much worse.


Heads up!

Wow. This is so stinkin' sexy, I almost didn't even notice the outie belly button.


Because fetus cookies are SO last year:

Goes great with mother's milk.

And lots of screaming.


Proving once again that bakers are takings posts on this blog as inspiration:

I'm torn (ha! Ew.) between asking what that gray pouch thing hanging out is and desperately, desperately, not wanting to know. In fact, know what? Don't tell me. I'm never having kids, so knowing what the inner lining's poop chute or whatever looks like is just one of those things I never need to know. Seriously. Leave me to my blissful ignorance.


And finally, look. I realize that a lot of talent was required to make some of these wrecks - I do! However, no amount of talent will ever make any part of this look yummy to me:

In fact, you could say the amount of talent a baker has when making a placenta has an inverse reaction to how much I want to eat said placenta.

Or, in other words:

SWEET BETTY CROCKER I AM NEVER EATING AGAIN.


Thanks to Matt R., Sarah M., Carl G., & Heather A. for today's gut-busters. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to skip lunch.
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Meghan @ Domestic Sugar said...

That is disgusting! ><

Anonymous said...

Do people eat these things?

Literacy at Large said...

I was eating. Ugh.

Kimberly said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

Steph said...

That placenta is the MOST disgusting thing on any food item I have EVER seen. I have two kids and am a nurse, so I'm not squeamish at all, but sweet baby dill pickles! A little decorum, please. I literally could not finish my delicious breakfast burrito after I looked at the zoom-in of the bowl of HORROR. So, thanks, Jen for kick-starting my diet for me...blech.

Donna said...

Wow. Just. Wow.

The first one is disturbing enough in a pseudosexual kind of way...BUT...the last one that poor baby looks like it's about to become a science experiment!

I think I'll skip lunch for the next week or so...YUCKO BUCKO!

April said...

My niece would have liked the last one, but she is an OB nurse, and see's the real thing all the time..lol For the rest of us, yeah, I may never eat again. O.O

Dani said...

Eeeeeew that last one...gurg (covers mouth).

As someone who's trying to get pregnant I'm now scared not only of delivering the baby but also of my baby shower. Yay?

Anna B said...

These are just wrong on so many levels. Please, no acupuncture on a pregnant tummy during a c-section with a partially exposed mama (c'mon now people, I'm having a 3rd c-section in November and this is not the image I want to have in my mind while I'm on the operating table...for any of these cakes). Let's leave the fetal views to the ultrasound techs...and I'm better off never seeing what placenta actually looks like. Had I wanted to see that, I would have gone to medical school - honestly, who would eat that (and better yet, who would PAY to eat that?)

WV: gessen - I'm gessen these wreckerators have never had their own kids, else their taste in cake would be better!

Michele said...

Goodness, that last one is disturbing.

DarkPrincess said...

This reminds me of a woman I used to work with who helped her daughter-in-law home-deliver her last child. She boasted that she "caught" the placenta in a cake pan, to which I thought "I am never eating any baked good she brings in again."

discerningmagpiecakes said...

Ohhhhhhhh, good God. It's a little early for an cake/organ to be that... slimy. :/

So... thanks for that. heh.

Anonymous said...

omg omg omg i was totally eating breakfast and almost ralphed when i saw the last two....yuck yuck yuck....must go scrub eyes out with bleach and turpintine and whatever else i can find to get the images off of my mind...maybe some steel wool.....

Leslie@leserleeslovesandhobbies said...

Seriously?!?! I do not even want to know what possesses people to think these cakes are a good idea. The first one isn't so bad, but who wants to eat a person? And the last two are a little too realistic. Maybe they were for descendants of the Donner Party?

:::b r a n d i::: said...

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Naomi said...

Cakes #1 and #3: Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Upupaepops said...

I agree

takes skill to create something like the last one

not the question of could you but should you

I am in the sciences and there is nothing I like better than patology

I think the issue for me is that the baby looks dead.

Haiku Joy said...

Call Inquirer!
Septuplets! Six stars and one
babe born to torso!

Anonymous said...

Well, placenta does mean cake in Latin...

Anonymous said...

Ew. Very talented people can make a beautiful wreck. Just goes to show that not all wrecks are ugly.

Becky

wv: endisind

That may be the grey thing hanging out of the belly...I don't think that is supposed to happen.

Anonymous said...

Why???????????????????????????????

mel said...

Wow! Sunday Sweets two days early! hahahah.... Well, you really delivered today!!


wv-netal: nothing like a few neo netal cakes to start the day...

Sharyn said...

Right after viewing this post, I got the following e-mail from my uterus:

"I QUIT!!!!!"

(I didn't even know it had e-mail. Must be wireless...)

WV: debaces -- yep, that pretty well sums up these cakes.

Dom said...

Do you think it tastes like cherries?

Mel said...

Who THOUGHT about making those cakes ????? Wow !

Ted C said...

That's it, i have officially switched to pies.

zoomom said...

The close-up of the placenta cake... I actually shuddered. That is so disturbing.
Jen, do you just sit back at laugh at our horror after you post something like this? (I totally would if I were you!)

Recipes In Review said...

There are no words created that could possibly describe these cakes. I thought the first one was bad, until I saw the next one, which was worse, the next one (in the words of my grandson) worser. Until finally the last one, the worserest of all. Ew

Jackie

Jayde said...

I wonder exactly how one goes about ordering a placenta on a cake. I mean it's not exactly something that they proudly display after you have given birth or anything, more like something you find in a medical journal. So the customer had to say, "One placenta please" and that baker had to ask, "Placenta? And what exactly does a placenta look like?" I can only imagine the conversation that followed describing the placenta in all it's glory. "NO! More red than pink and make sure you EMPHASIZE those bulging veins!" BLECH!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Oh my.
Oh. Me. Oh. My.

One word: Wrong!

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong!

Did I say those cakes were just plain wrong?

wv: essesse: When reading Cake Wrecks, one needs to essesse the damages before eating or drinking anything! Feeling queasy or spewing beverages on your screen is always possible. :-D

Andrea said...

I actually WAS eating while reading this post. I gagged a bit at the fetus cake, and it just got worse from there. This is most definitely the most disgusting CW post EVER. Much worse than poop cakes!

Joan said...

Well, I've been saying I have to start a new diet (again) and now it will be easy. I'll just put today's post on the frig.

tina said...

I'm not easily grossed out but EWWW EWWWW EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diana said...

yeah i have a pretty strong stomach but today's post actually ignited a reaction. Having birthed all four of my kids at home with just my hubby, I saw it all. But I never would want to eat any of it! No matter how much I craved a sugar fix! lol
sick sick sick ( but talented especially the last one)

Loo-E Loo-I said...

lol the word verification that came up after I posted....wayou

Wayne & Garth say these cakes are totally wayou (pronounced way ewwwwwww)!

Kathy W said...

Oh dear.

Haiku Joy said...

Slimey the Worm and
Thing march in proud protest down
Belly Avenue.

ogorka said...

I'm a lurker and rarely comment here, but I had to put my 2 cents today. WHAT were they THINKING? I'm convinced it was actually a lack of thinking that created these monstrosities. Great birth control, thanks.

staxia said...

@DarkPrincess "LIKE!" (in a grossed out sort of way...)

wow.

In the grand scheme of things, that first cake is actually not so bad. Mildly disturbing, but not bad at all......

The rest, however, I think are best summed up by today's WV --- "hurlid" -- I hurlid after reading today's post.

Laura said...

Not to disgust anyone further, but did you know that there are people that actually EAT placentas? REAL placentas, not just placenta cake! I saw it on an entry on the STFU, Parents blog. Some mom made a shake out of her placenta and posted a picture on facebook. Absolutely disgusting. DISGUSTING!!!

Anonymous said...

MUST. SCOUR. BRAIN. WITH. BLEACH.

Make it go away.

Please, please make it go away.

Anonymous said...

My eyes! Ack, those are the most disturbing cakes since the meatloaf baby.

A.J. said...

I wanted to scream after looking at those. I know I gasped at the last one. I agree, that last one is showing a lot of talent to make all of that, but did someone along the way forget that these are cakes? Meant to be eating? And that NO ONE wants to eat that?

SuBee said...

I am without speech...

Haiku Joy said...

Who wants to bet more
realism awaits?
Panoramic view.

wv: ositsp

So whens my students slouchs, I says "ositsp."

Dave and Karlee Waddoups said...

I've never had a baby... thank goodness.... but here I am tentatively asking...

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE SPATULA LOOKING THINGS ON THE TOP RIGHT OF THE LAST CAKE??? WHAT ARE THEY USED FOR??? AHHHHHHH!!!! don't tell me...

**Telling my husband to start adoption papers**

Connie Moreno said...

A very wise teacher once told me, "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should".

Sheesh.

Marcy W. said...

Ew. EW. Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Kerri said...

Bleh! If someone got me a cake like that for my baby shower, they would be off the friend list quicker than you can say "placenta"!!

Anonymous said...

Good grief, is that last baby supposed to look like it's dead? What on earth are people thinking of when they order these cakes?

I HOPE the search ends here, I really don't want to imagine what could top these hideous things.

WarLioness said...

I've followed STFU Parents far too long to ever think that people don't actually eat their own placents. I've also SEEN far too many placentas thanks to that blog, but that cake really, well, takes the cake.

I'm going to go curl up in a corner and cry softly into my security blanket for a while now.

Anonymous said...

AAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHHH D:

Angie said...

Yes, these wreckorators have talent, but do they HAVE to use it for evil??? Cripes. Those are just beyond gross.

If I were ever to be a guest at a shindig boasting one of those things, I'd have to have some serious words with whomever ordered it.

Lindsey said...

I have never before had a physical reaction (besides insane laughing!) to a cake... until that placenta close-up picture. My stomach flipped... and I had just eaten breakfast... I didn't know a picture could honestly make someone sick!

Puppygirl said...

Yes, yes. I know I said back in June (Dexter/CSI post) that it was going to take a LOT more than that to make me lose my lunch.
Congratulations Jen. You did it!

I'm not sure if it was the hand and …erm… worm (?) graphically bursting out of the bloody stomach or the shiny bowl of shiny placenta, but it just goes to show that not becoming an obstetrician was a wise career choice.

Renewing my fatwa/edict/diktat against cakes at my baby shower. (baby carrot jockey cake excepted)

p.s. Who eats that?!?

YuKi-Mekishiko said...

yeah because leaving the placenta on the baby would have been gross

Anonymous said...

Everyone else has said it all already, so I will just add -- why didn't someone stop these people? By force if necessary!

KSLSRocks said...

Yay for always checking email, immediately followed by cakewrecks first thing in the morning! Especially while eating breakfast! I bought 3 breakfast tacos for no reason! (Bold-faced lie, while totally grossed out, I'll finish breakfast once I close this browser).

Unknown said...

Worst of the worst! Ugh! I may never eat cake again.

Kae said...

Dear God in heaven--what are they planning to DO to that last baby?

(And, I have to say...I'm pregnant. Thank heavens I have six-some months to put these images out of my head before I actually have to contemplate giving birth...*shudder*)

Anonymous said...

Publishing these could help end obesity and lower the population in one fell swoop!
Awful.
mocking

Amy'sMom said...

Childbirth is the most beautiful, empowering, and enlightening experience any couple can share. To criticize those who want to celebrate with cake is just wrong. Disgusting? Disturbing? Worse than poop cake? blech? Ew,ew? Ewwwwwwww? Yucko Bucko? No no no no no?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?
Really, Grow up!


Just kidding, they're disgusting.

mimi said...

Cakewrecks. Insta-diet. I never knew.

Erin said...

What is funny is that a few posts earlier in my reader was this one from Wilton:

http://www.wilton.com/blog/index.php/how-to-make-a-baby-rump-shower-cake/

So everyone can make their own wreck!! (I like how they pointed out that some people don't like cutting into the baby butt!)

Danger Boy said...

Holy crap! I think I'm still finishing lunch, but only just. That last one is just...WTF material!

WV: pagghh The sound I made when I saw these cakes!

Gary said...

These cakes must be the best appetite supressant I've ever seen. One woman there is apparently going to give birth to two diseased kidneys.


WV: sphygo. The sphygo is portrayed a bit too graphically on these cakes.

ML said...

OMG...

Do these people actually consider that a cake is to be eaten? Who is REALLY going to cut into that final baby?

BLECCCHHH....

Molly said...

poop chute! hah!

Caroline B said...

A well-known tv chef in the UK did this in his show:
"The presenter, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, devised the recipe with mother Rosie Clear for a party to celebrate the birth of her daughter Indi-Mo Krebbs.

The placenta was fried with shallots and garlic, flambéed, puréed and served to 20 relatives and friends as a pate on focaccia bread.

Mrs Clear's husband Lee had 17 helpings but the other guests were less enthusiastic. "

Urgh.....

That grey pouch thing? What no-one tells you is that you have to take that home with you after the birth and keep it in a tupperware container in the fridge until your child is 1 year old.....nope, sorry, can't keep on with that joke, I'm making myself feel sick. Although that last cake produced the first gag reflex I've ever got from Cake Wrecks.

Anonymous said...

I really should not have opened this cake wrecks post today. At 2am this morning I was helping out at the birth of my nephew and had to cut the umbilical cord.
Somehow the real life experience was not as gross as these cakes are. This post almost make me chunder (vomit) all over the room.
I think I need to go find some prozac and wash it down with vodka to wipe these cakes from my memory.

ML said...

OMG...


Aren't cakes supposed to be eaten? Who would EVER cut into that baby in that last cake...or that placenta?


By the way, I think that's supposed to be a leg and foot in the first one. Not exactly to scale with the hand, though...Or maybe an appendix that slithered around the uterus...

Fluffy Cow said...

I miss fetus cookies.

@ Dave and Karlee- forceps. Don't look it up.

Christy said...

1st of all that baby in the last photo should be on a warmer not on the sterile field. Also, that's a rather small bowl for that placenta... Or maybe the placenta is huge, they should definitely send it to pathology.

Emgee said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

Ladybug914 said...

I am now even more grateful for my Winnie the Pooh decorated baby shower cake, plastic figurines and all!

Anonymous said...

The commenters usually can jolly me out of the disgust, frustration and irritation I occasionally experience viewing some really bad cakes. Not this time. Amazing.

Norine

SaraCVT said...

I think, as a general rule, medical instruments and cake should not go together. Anytime you see them on the same plate, it's bad. Really bad.

Janice Sperry said...

What sort of message are they trying to convey? We're so excited for this baby to arrive so we can eat it - and the placenta too? Gross.

Anonymous said...

Who needs Weight Watchers? Certainly not me. All I need to do is reference these photos when I feel like snacking. Kills the urge every time. In fact, I may not eat again. ever.

Julia said...

I'm more disturbed by the dead babies than the placenta. Eating a placenta... well, not my cuppa but rationally is not a bad thing (highly nutritious, nourished the baby, yadda yadda yadda).

Eating a dead baby or foetus though... just leaves me speechless.

Anonymous said...

These are supposed to be edible, right?! My thoughts are a) most of what's depicted (babies aside, of course) goes into the category of "medical waste" after delivery, so who wants to see that? and b) the ladies who gave me a baby shower before my son was born totally would have loved this stuff, so I feel like I have dodged a bullet because thankfully they didn't see these cakes first, amen.

Isolder74 said...

My goodness!

What was going through those baker's minds.? What was going through the minds of the people who asked for these cakes to be made? Don't baker realize how awkward it is to stand there with a knife and try to CUT into a realistic looking baby cake?

I'm pretty sure I might be able to pull off most of those cakes but I'd never go through with it. No one could convince me to make a cake like that especially the last one.

Julie G. from Iowa said...

Ewww, my eyes are bleeding and I'm about to see my breakfast again!!!
As someone who doesn't have kids, doesn't want to ever have kids, this is just too much. I'm with you though in the fact that I really, really, don't want to know what some of that stuff is.

Aron said...

And here we have a whole gallery of evidence to demonstrate that talent and intelligence don't necessarily go together! Some baker somewhere is probably wailing, "but the customer WANTED that!" Really? Hand her a business card for a local counselling service. No one needs to slice into a stillborn child on a sterile field next to an overflowing bowl of placenta, even if it is beautifully rendered in angel food cake. [hurk]

VK said...

Luckily i was not eating breakfast or lunch because out here in malaysia it's way past bedtime, but i'm afraid to sleep now! the first thing i saw on the last cake was the placenta thing - even before you zoomed on it. which made it worse once i was subjected to the gory details....i immediately went over a load of sunday sweets to cancel the effect.

Philippa Lodge said...

Midwife at home birth: "We'll just leave the placenta here."
Me: "NO! Nasty! Dispose of it with the medical waste."

Two weeks later:
Me: "Honey? What's this in the freezer?"

And here I thought the homebirth midwives would take ALL our wishes into account.

Marie said...

I usually don't even get a chance to read the comments much less post but I had to today. Thanks! You ruined cake for me for life now! I don't know whether to thank you or be upset...blechhhh

Toni W. said...

I'm bookmarking this post to help with my diet. bubbyee appetite.

Anonymous said...

OMG, when I was pregnant I was always having nightmares about the baby bursting out of my belly like in Alien. These cakes are just as freaky as those dreams!!

Sara

Annette said...

On CakeCentral just this week, a baker was telling about her strange request for a placenta cake for someone who works in labor and delivery. Everyone was leaving comments on how to make it appear more realistic!
Also, I think the first cake is cute!

Possum said...

Now I'm going to have to put bleach in my eyes.

Sanni said...

:(

thanks for ruining my day.

Melanie said...

EW EW EW. I don't even know if I'm typing in the correct space because I've bleached my eyeballs and can no longer see.

Cakey Goodness said...

UGH I shouldn't have looked at those right before lunch. Not eating for a week now.

WV: ohmeryn. Ohmeryn I think I'm going to be sick!

Anonymous said...

What on Earth does that first cake say???? "Mikkel"?? Is that the sound of trying in vain to hold back the vomit from seeing cakes that H.R. Giger would have nightmares over?

I have been coming to this site so long that the most disturbing thing about this post is the name....

WV: Hyphann - the hideous name of Mikkel's sister?

KittyKat said...

I am currently expecting a delightful bundle of joy in September. I have five healthy happy kids playing around me right now. One of them was even born at home. I find birth fascinating and inspiring. I'm actually not completely dreading labor. I'm only slightly dreading it.

These cakes, however, are so disturbing and revolting. I'll probably start having vivid pregnancy hormone induced nightmares about babies exploding out of wrinkly fondant-skin, and the nurses thinking the baby and placenta are there for snack time... AAAAAUUGHHH!

Mary said...

EW EW EW! That placenta just took the cake as the worst wreck yet. I can't believe how well made each of the items was and yet, it's just so very very wrong! Good grief!

Jabby said...

There is seriously something wrong with anyone who would order these cakes and I'm horribly frightened by anyone who would actually *eat* these cakes! I'm going to have nightmares for years to come just from looking at them!! I will send you my therapist bill...

Anne-with-an-e said...

Please, please can we all get together and commission pretty little flower cakes or something innocuous from these bakers? They clearly need to put their talents to use in, um, less creepy ways.

And thank you for convincing me not to slip some cake into my cart when I go grocery shopping this afternoon. My waistline would thank you, except I think Ben & Jerry's might be the beneficiary instead.

Bonnie said...

What disturbs me about that last one is that they went to the trouble to make edible hemostats, but they left everything CLEAN. Birth is DEFINITELY not that sterile. Where's the blood, people??? lol

(EWWWWWWWWWWW ::HURK::)

Cyndi said...

Soooooo wrong on soooooo many levels.

Aliza said...

It says a lot about how queasy I'm feeling that that last cake didn't make much of a difference. I think the verdict is that I should go home sick. If it was safe to drive. I can use todays CW post in lieu of a doctors note!

I guess I can say that at least the cakes were well-made, and the decorators are talented and put a lot of work into them. Judgment and taste, however...

Kim T. said...

That placenta cake literally almost made me lose my lunch. And I don't have a weak stomache at all! Wow! Those are gross. And the people who ordered them are sick, I tell ya. Sick.

No Cake Fo' You!! said...

WV: we need to get rid of of all baby/pregnancy cakes STSTAT!!! LOL (makes me stutter)

Those were VERY disturbing.

BADKarma! said...

Oh. My. Gods... (blinkblink)...

I got nuthin' else. Seriously. NUTHIN'. ELSE.

Jani said...

Naomi: Thank you for the Aliens shout-out, and I totally agree with you.

That last ... thing ... is beautifully done, but so totally and completely awful. Good heavens what were they thinking? Surely nobody could have ever actually cut into that!

Jenn said...

Wow. Just....wow. I've had one baby, am expecting another, and I pray I don't have a shower cake that looks like these. Also, I don't have any idea what that grey thing hanging out is, either.

*shudder*

Craig said...

Note to self: 'Fiancee must not see these, or I'll be hearing "don't touch me!" for the rest of time.

#1 The blue stars are causing a holiday flashback. I want it known that I did not say her name or even use the initials.

#2 Congratulations on your twin...gargoyles?

#3 Help.

#4a/b: This is so f--anatically (yeah, that's the word I'll use) detailed that the wreckerator must be dividing his / her time between the bakery and med school.

Pushing the implications of that firmly out of mind, is it too much to ask that the attention to detail extend to such trivial things as oh, I dunno, making the baby look freaking alive?!?!?!

I'll be working on a time machine so I can stop myself from viewing today's post. If you're reading this, I haven't succeeded. Yet.

Stephanie said...

Oooooh! I'm glad it's a while until lunch and long since breakfast.

Custom Cake Princess said...

I am just speechless, I can not believe that people would ask for those kind of cakes or that bakers would make them. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Anonymous said...

So, does this mean we are heading towards cakes to commemorate various surgical procedures? How about appendectomies, sex reassignment amputations, or wart removal? Mmmm yummy can't wait.

Amanda Mac said...

As a student aspiring to be an OB nurse, I find the last cake to be utterly horrifying... mostly because it is so realistic. I need bleach for my eyes now...

BALTIMORE DAILY PHOTO said...

really? really??? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous said...

Where is the unicorn "chaser" for these?

Jennifer said...

These are revolting. I actually sort of gagged for the C-section one - and they just got worse. Who in the heck would think these are a good idea?! They are disturbing on soooo many levels.

Anonymous said...

I should know better than to look at CW when I am setting down to lunch... I mean launch, as in what WAS my lunch... who eats these things?!

Anonymous said...

These are revolting! Who thinks these would be a good idea?! The baker should have taken one look at their creation and destroyed it immediately, for the good of humanity.

Anonymous said...

*picks self up from floor after hysterical laughing fit*

OMFingG!

tulipdjc said...

eeeeeewwwwwwwwww.

Lydia said...

I'm worried that my face will be stuck in the, "Ew-ick," look forever now....

unhappy mouse said...

no no no no no no no. NO. Jen!!!!!!

It's Friday!

You're supposed to make us Laugh!

Are you madddd at meeeeeee????

:-( :-( :-(

The Ex-Perfectionist said...

AAkkkk (vomit sound)

I just can't imagine partaking of the last cake. Eating a baby and a placenta is just well...gross!

CR Cobb said...

Re: the last cake. Is anything on that one savory?

Yvette said...

I don't think I'll ever eat or have kids ever now. This was worse than the hangover cakes.

Janna said...

As a pregnant woman in the throes of morning sickness, let me just say this did not help-AT ALL.

BRB-my breakfast is coming up.

EWW

Anonymous said...

I really don't think it's right to blame the decorators in this case. All of these cakes were executed well... if they're awful it's because someone walked into a bakery, marched proudly up to the counter with head held high, and demanded a cake that featured half a baby clawing its way out of its mother's blood-soaked ladybits.

MissyIs said...

Who needs appetite suppressants when you have this post? LOL

Lady Anne said...

Oh, Blick! Whatever happened to pink and blue booties? Little bibs and pacifiers?

Four Jordans said...

C-section cakes? Dear Lord...WHY????

Isolder74 said...

@ craig

[Doc Brown Voice]You can't succeed because you were inspired to invent the time machine by today's horror so every time you try to prevent yourself from viewing the page something will happen to prevent you from stopping yourself to ensure that the tiem machine exsists to get you to the spot to try and stop yourself resulting in a never ending loop of terror as you end up watching yourself look at the cakes over and over and over!

Of course that's a worse case scenario you could just shock yourself so bad that you just pass out.[/Doc Brown Voice]

DaRel Lee said...

Gross Gross Gross!!

Anonymous said...

I am pretty disturbed by these as well... What is it about a dead baby on a cake that people (other people) find so cute??? I get creeped out by those dead baby (lifelike, yeah right) dolls as it is. I refuse to EAT one!

Expatriate Buckeyes said...

I am so sad to report that yesterday on the Wilton FB page they had a post showing how to make the baby butt with feet cake. Another Cake Wrecks fan pointed out the disservice they were doing. So sad, but I do believe they are using Cake Wrecks for insperation after all.

Anonymous said...

OH... OH MY... WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN...

Pease Family said...

Oh I am so glad I'm not pregnant right now. Seriously people, to echo the rest of the readers...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????
I've had three babies and never seen the placenta. I was happy that way. Now I'm scarred for life.

Dana said...

ummm... wow. just wow.

Anonymous said...

#5 is very disturbing! I agree... I may never go to a baby shower again! :P Linda M.M.

ThatDarnKat said...

I'd like to thank you for helping me to lose weight...by showing me these cakes right before lunch. No lunch for me now! Lol. That placenta was WAAAAAAY too realistic!

cullen said...

It's a cake, stop complaining, and eat it. That is some real artistry.

Anonymous said...

OMG! EWWWW! ICK!!!! BLECH!

Allison said...

Well, I was hungry.

Now I may never eat again.

Could someone please, PLEASE tell these bakers that just because youCAN make something doesn't mean that you should???

Anonymous said...

I'm used to gross sights, but the first thing on my mind when I saw the baby: Either it's dead or it definitely looks like a dead little alien.
What will really 'edge me over a cliff of visual grossness' in terms of cake wrecks: (oh please don't encourage anyone!) p**pcake and p*kecake. Those would be the ultimate!

Tee said...

Good Gravy! Breakfast is coming back and lunch won't go down. =(
Who would/could eat these?

amanda said...

Thanks for helping me stick to my diet today - YUCK!!!

Debbi said...

OK. Just because you ::can:: create cakes like these does not mean you ::should:: create cakes like these. Just sayin'.

Lizzy Leigh said...

Some of these bakers need to never be allowed to bake again! These were terrible!

Amy said...

By far the most disgusting post I've EVER seen on here. Props!

IrisFleuron said...

AAAAaaaaaggggghhhhhh!!!!

Thank you for making me stick to a diet today, or at least meditate on beautiful things to get that out of my head.

URCK.

Beth said...

PLEASE tell me the placenta is for an L&D nurse/doctor graduation

Elaine said...

OMG That is so gross,how could anyone in their right mind want that as a cake let alone eat the damn thing lol it is just plain nasty

Anonymous said...

Words cannot describe my level of disgust. Seriously...these go beyond tacky, nausea-inducing and low-class.

SugarFrosted said...

The color of the baby on the last cake is awful. Poor thing must've failed his APGAR and is dead. :shudder: Awesome technical work but totally disgusting to imagine eating. Ugh.... Why oh why do people want these cakes? Why oh why do the bakers/decorators agree to make them?

Gramie said...

Gross.

Christy said...

honestly, I have no words - the dumb struck look on my face says it all.

Kathy B said...

Seriously? I have been reading your posts for a long time now, but these are BY FAR the most disgusting things I have ever seen! ACK!

msyendor said...

They're creepy, they're hoary
they're altogether gory
It's Alien Adventures and
it's not a dream.

Deet-dee-dedeedee. No one can hear you scream!

Tune: Animaniacs Adventures?

Jen said...

Oh god...WHHHYYYYY??!!
I had a gag relex to that last one!
Now I'm off to scrub my eyes and try to forget I saw taht!

Sasha (Global Table Adventure) said...

I'm glad to see the first baby isn't coming out of her nipple (!!!!), because that's exactly what it looks like on the FB fan page (I guess because the thumbnail is so small, it makes it hard to see what's happening).

Anonymous said...

wow. Someone once told me that in the NYC stock exchange the hand gesture for too much information is to raise your hands over your head. When I saw these cakes I found my self doing just that. These "moms" who order these cakes are a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Mimi said...

I have been an L&D nurse. I have been an OR nurse. I have worked in a crazy OB hospital where patients cooked and ate placentas (fortunately not many). One would understand why I don't like meat. Now I'm not sure I can ever eat another piece of cake. In a weird way, thanks, Cake Wrecks. :Q must have been medical people who did those considering the specific setup of the back table. And yes, the fetus looks dead to me, too. BLECCH!

Dana said...

Dibs on the placenta!!!!

Laura Miller Photography said...

WHY ARE PEOPLE ASKING FOR THESE?!?!?! All of these are the kind of cake that they don't just make to randomly sell out of the case. WHO is requesting this? Apparently cannibalism is a real thing not just reserved for murderers? This is EFFED UP. I will have nightmares. lol

Laura said...

Why? In the name of all that is holy? Why!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Jessica said...

Ya know, at least it's not *real* placenta. Some people eat those things.

Anonymous said...

God, why???? Why would someone THINK any of those would be great... TO EAT or heck, replicate? ICK, put it on a post card.

Cool Fun Facts said...

These are very creative, but still kind of disturbing. =D

Rachel said...

ugh...so disgusting!!!! I am going to have nightmares!!

Anonymous said...

Oh.
My.
GOD!

What are these people thinking?!?

Gina said...

That last one...what is WRONG with people!!!

Gina

Betty Martin said...

Please relax about that grey thing!!! I have given birth to 4 children and have been present at the birth of about half of my grandchildren, and I have NEVER, ever, ever, EVER seen anything like that grey bag dangling out. There is no reason for it to be there, it is NOT a part of childbirth. Please just relax, and let it go.
Now the rest of them...I can't help you with. I don't understand eating a newborn, a placenta, and an entire medical procedure and calling it a good time.

Anonymous said...

AHH!!!

Anonymous said...

Some people freeze-dry and encapsulate the placenta. Supposed to help prevent PPD. I never did it, but after the PPD I had with my first, maybe I should have.

Having said that, it does NOT need to be on a cake ever.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking that the grossness of the last cake was due to the fact that the baby looks eerily still-born. And then I saw the placenta in a bowl. And then I saw the close-up. Seriously. What the hell? I need to go bleach my brain now ...

May said...

I swear, this is the third weird baby shower cake posting you've had since my best friend told me that she's pregnant. She no longer has a choice. She's getting a placenta cake.

People are sick.

No words can emphasize just how disturbing ALL of those cakes are. My initial reactions can barely do them justice:

omg...

OMG, LOL!

WHY, GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYY???


WV: suppe
Something soupy-looking something something placenta something... *gag*

stuckinmypedals said...

I'm nauseous and scarred for life.

The Baking Pixie said...

I am suppose to have my baby in a few short weeks. I was nervous before reading this post. Now I am just terrified.

May said...

An additional thought:

Does the baker of the first cake understand how birth works?

I had a dream about being pregnant last night. Now I'll have a nightmare about it popping out of my bellybutton with fireworks. It'll be slightly reminiscent of that scene in Aliens that I accidentally saw when I was about four. That particular nightmare has haunted me ever since.

WV: alphob
That black sac-looking thing is technically referred to as the alphob.

Anonymous said...

For the love of God, why would you want to cut into a baby or a pregnant women for a slice of cake, hope it is not red velvet. Gross

julie said...

There's nothing I like better in a tableau than a display of placenta and a blue/green baby. SCRUMMY!

Anonymous said...

I'm not really grossed out until I remember: These are CAKES! Gack!

Anonymous said...

I would be most unhappy if anyone gave me a cake like that for a baby shower. The surgery one is really scary because it looks like a stillborn ready for an autopsy. =(

--Renee

p said...

...and then they sliced it and ate it.

Brittni said...

Hahaha well. I will say that after my first daughter was born, her placenta made me feel sick when I saw it, but after my second daughter I just thought it looked pretty cool. They look like trees :) Not that they make appetizing cakes though. Yikes. And this is coming from someone whose midwife cooked, dried, and encapsulated her placenta for ingestion. I was NOT gonna go fry it up and eat it, but I wasn't going to miss out on the benefits of consuming it either. It just looked like a vitamin when I ate it :)

Jcjohns said...

Aaaaaaahhhhhhh! That last one looks more like a baby autopsy!

Michelle S said...

Okay I'm gonna say it. Don't mothers actually eat the afterbirth in some cultures? At least the cake version would probably go down a bit easier. Just sayin'.

Unknown said...

I just dont get why anyone would make a cake that looked like that, with utensils, baby and placenta. Really what is the purpose to something like that? Who makes that kind of request? I dont even know what to say.

Emily said...

I am so glad I looked at this AFTER my lunch hour, because O.M.G.

Do people SERIOUSLY ORDER PLACENTA CAKES!?!?!?!!? What is going wrong with the world? What happened to a simple "Congradultions, Its a Gril!" cakes? Weren't we all happier with misspellings? Yes, I believe we were...

Aliza said...

Well, I suppose we should be grateful that (a) the people who ordered these cakes are actually eating cake, not what the cake's representing, (b) these decorators are very talented (picture how bad these would be in hands of our usual Mon-Fri crew?).

And, I do suspect that last one was for some type of medical professional (I still think that the customer is not always right). The first ones in the post may, however, be for some poor unsuspecting pregnant woman... I hope for all of you who said you're pregnant that those who order & make your cakes are CW fans :)

@Sharyn and @Craig... LOL

Lastly: apparently, not everyone is revolted by the last cake. A colleague meandered by when I was posting my earlier comment (1:07 pm), told me to go home by taxi. I told him what I was writing, showed him the post, and he asked for me to send him the blog link. A new CW fan was created by THIS post!!

Molly said...

That last one seriously made me want to vomit. I'm soooo gonna have nightmares.

SuBee said...

Dear Baking Pixie:
Don't be afraid. Childbirth is nothing compared to looking at some of these cakes.

M.A.L. Diaries said...

Wow. Every time I think I've seen the least appetizing cake in the universe (usually on this site!)--I'm wrong. There is ALWAYS a worse cake.

Today's cakes are... wow... someone needs to invent a word for them -- but I can't. Looking at those cakes sprained something in my head.

Unknown said...

Sweet Jesus! What in the hell are people thinking? Where in the world is that even acceptable? I need to think happy thoughts and go luck at some Sunday Sweets posts to erase those from my brain!

Craig said...

@isolder74, you're right -- I completely overlooked the paradox angle. Even if I already had the idea for a time machine and this just pushed me to act, it still wouldn't work. Shazbat!

So wreckerators have no idea what a flag looks like, or a peanut, or just about anything else one might care to name. Yet they get a placenta right? Worse still, they get the color of everything on the tray exactly right except the baby? Oy! That isn't an L&D cake, it's a CSI cake.

"Your scientists (or wreckerators) were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." -- Ian Malcom

emjaykae said...

This has done wonders for my diet. I may never eat again. The torso of the baby on the last cake looks frighteningly like a chicken that I roasted last night.

Rachael said...

That first and third ones take 'in the John Hurt way' to a whole new level. But well done to the last cake for fully envisioning the alien horror that is the placenta.

Anonymous said...

I think I may not want to eat for a long, long while. Disturbing... really disturbing...

M said...

That last one looks like an autopsy setup.

KC said...

are you supposed to cut that baby up and eat it? I don't care about the placenta, but thinking about cutting into that baby is creeping me out. You know at birthday parties someone always wants the big icing rose on the corner? Was someone like, I'll take the piece with the baby head on it?

madeinmt said...

That last one looked like the baby was being prepped for an autopsy. Quite a bit of skill on the instruments, but not so much on the dead-looking baby. wtf?

madeinmt said...

That last one looks like an autopsy table. The baker's skill was great on the instruments, but not so much on the dead-looking baby. wtf??

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