Friday, June 10, 2011

Wrecky Conga Lines

Friday, June 10, 2011

My dear bakers, I'm going to teach you how to spell "Congratulations" if it's the last thing I do. I mean it. We're going to sit down RIGHT NOW and hash this thing out, and I'm not giving up until each and every one of you can spell this word backwards, forwards, and without using a single letter "d." You hear me? I am NOT GIVING UP.



I give up.


Ok, look. How about you just abbreviate it?

Not that much.


No...


[head on desk] No...


[in fetal position under desk] Losing...faith...in humanity...


Does...does that really say "Congris"?

Does it?
!


Ok, I have an idea.

[whispering in ear]

I'll take it.


Hey, Aimee T., David G., Colleen G., Lianne I., Super Happy Girl, Julie M., & Nicole V., you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you? My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand.
Renee said...

My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

wendalynn11 said...

Tee hee hee, I did not notice the 6 fingers until it was mentioned, it made me giggle!

lil said...

That last one has five fingers and a thumb...

Aubri said...

That's a left hand. :)

SuBee said...

When congratulating graduates, I believe "congrad's" is perfectly acceptable.
"Congris Grade" is always correct.

WV: Wasili- You can see Russia from there. You Betcha!

Grammy said...

because I am detail oriented (obsessive) I tend to read your credits, I mean you make it worthwhile with a parting pun or two! today I recognized a submitter's name and will have to let all my kids know to "check out today's CakeWrecks! No, Really, you Have to!" ;-}

Trevor said...

Do you think some places buy their cakes and re-sell them? Tay's cake looks pretty darn good, until you get to the writing. Then it's a disaster on several levels!

Anonymous said...

Today's post made me laugh right out loud. Thank you!

elissa said...

What's with the anonymizing bar on the sparkly-flotsam cake?

Embarrassing name? Or someone just didn't want to be recognized as a submitter?

Anonymous said...

LOL love the Princess Bride reference! six fingers!

meanwhile, that flower one with the goopy jelly on it--did someone graduate from Congress? (Congris)

did Congradulations become a thing for graduates specifically as away to abbreviate Congratulates graduates?

can they spell it better if it's congratulations for something OTHER than a graduation? like, a hysterectomy or something?

(sorry, bad taste....but there ARE cakes for that, as we know!)

Jenniffer said...

@Trevor - Tay's cake looks like a grocery store cake. They're initially decorated with a big space in the middle for the inscription. I bet someone bought that after the regular decorator went home for the day. I can hear the deli clerk saying "Sure, I can write on a cake!"
Great post, as always!

WV: grobl - Cakes so good, you'll grobl them up!

Kirsten said...

@Trevor - most grocery stores have their cakes baked and the initial decorating done off-site (a co-worker of my husband's used to work for the company that did this) so the person who wrote on the cake is not the same as the person who initially iced/decorated it.

Lydia said...

Count Rugen is amongst us!

The Black Dog said...

Hahahaha, I love the last one.

Gary said...

Not only is Becky being wished "Contradulation," but somebody peed on her cake.

S Ketne said...

I love that I immediately thought of the six-fingered man when I saw the last cake, and then you made my day when you actually quoted Princess Bride! Hysterical as always!

Sarah W. said...

BUAHAHA! "My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand."
...I don't usually leave a comment but THAT; that was genius!

Gina said...

Last line: Winning. Best. Ever.

I think I say that a lot about many, many lines on your blog. But it's true. Every "best line" is better than the one before.

Zoanna said...

In order to get one's diploma from cake decorating school, it should be required that one can spell "Congratulations" and to know to abbreviate it without an apostrophe. And that, while "Grad" and "Grade" understandably come from the same school of thought, one of those words picked up a varsity letter. Not that he ever lets that fact be heard, but the silent humility sets it apart from the average Jo.


wv : cornoly . Let's see if using cornoly'll make a difference in our cake's results.

Anonymous said...

*headesk* X infinity WTF

Anonymous said...

Anyone else notice the "2016" decorations? That cake is going to be awfully dry by graduation day!!

NatalieG said...

This was a great post - thanks for the laughs! Con-'Rats' to all the grads out there! hehehe...

Anonymous said...

I missed the Princess Bride reference but the six fingered cake made me think of - "Six finger! Six finger! Man alive. How did I ever get along with five?" Does anyone else remember that? Maybe I'm showing my age.

wv: morilli - some of these cakes make me morilli than others.

Robin said...

Your Princess Bride references always make me smile! Rock on!

Puppygirl said...

I can guarantee you the thinking went along these lines:
Five fingers. A hand has five fingers, right? Okay...
Oh, wait, thumb! It's supposed to be a "thumbs up". There we go...
Perfect!

Jes said...

I like the contradulation one. It's like a new word: contradgedy... I don't know what that means but it sounds like they're talking about the decorator's spelling skills.

Donna said...

*sigh* now I must go home and watch the Princess Bride for the 11millionth and 1 time....

BADKarma! said...

I'll be certain to tell all the "Grades" I know "Congris!"... (blinkblink)...

WV - Oxions: Morons with all the stains removed by bubbling oxygen action!

Anonymous said...

Umm......apparently that last one is a mutant. There's an extra finger there. Paired with the "Great Job" it makes the whole thing look totally sarcastic.

Kathleen said...

I am so proud of all the commenters so far! As soon as I saw the left-hand-cake and right-hand-quote, I was worried there would be an Epcot situation, but you all love Princess Bride too much :) yay!

Because I know something you don't know... (what is that?)... I am not left-handed!

Krantz said...

(Cue "David after Dentist" voice)

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??

But seriously... I still want cake now. Darn preggo cravings...

Shalmeno said...

Actually, I'd prefer mine con leche, thank you very much.

Eve said...

@Anon 10:52 ~ Those are 2010 decorations. It's just that the 'f' in 'Class of' kinda catches the top of the 0 and makes it look like a six. On the other (six-fingered) hand, given what else I've seen on this blog, I can only hope that means that photo was taken last year, and not that that cake has been in a box in the storage room for twelve months. I wouldn't put it past them. =P

Also, I know that the one cake says "congat's", but I keep wanting to read it as "congat'e".

WV: imunce. Imunce not judge all decorators on the idiocies of a few!

Julie said...

The cake with the cap and tassle is actually pretty well constructed--is that string licorice making the tassle? Very creative. But the CONRATS nearly made me choke on my lunch. What a way to ruin a decent cake.

n.panchancha said...

Great job avenging your father's death, maybe?

Lynn said...

This bugs me way more than it should. Of all the words I can't spell, and there are many, "congratulations" is not one of them. I'm more than a little dyslexic. I have misspelled, mistyped, and even botched a graphic or two during live news broadcasts. I literally can not see it when I spell something wrong, and almost never catch other people's mistakes. So, the fact that even I know better, speaks volumes. BTW spell check has changed my life, and I have an awesome proofreader now to keep me from sending out misspelled work. I'm still hoping for the day when scientists teach monkeys to spell and I can have a spelling monkey to help with my disability.

Anonymous said...

I like the irony of the "Congat'e [CENSORED] EHS 2010" cake with the "The tassle is worth the hassle" flotsam. I would be so tempted to ask the wreckerator, "so, um, I take it you really didn't think it was worth the hassle."

Julie said...

OM gosh.. that hand really does have 6 fingers!

Your blog always brings a smile to my face.. and usually has me laughing our loud!!

Michaela said...

A Rutgers cake! Awesome!! Too bad it's so wrecky. Go knights!

Craig said...

#LFMF: Never say, "It looks like spelling skills are improving," or words to that effect in a public forum, because you WILL be proved wrong. Especially here.

And I thought that line about "another positive effect CW is having on society" would negate the jinx. I should have known it is like washing the car; even if you comment on how warm and sunny it is, your freshly washed car will still be treated to a torrential downpour followed by blowing dirt, cat hair, bad cakes, you name it.

These things look like they were created by 'Congris'.

That last one... Right after the new compulsory spelling class, wreckerators must proceed immediately to the basic anatomy class.

I mean, if I were going to draw a hand, I don't have to look far for an example -- there is no need to guess at it. On the other hand (ba-DUP!), maybe the wreckerator *was* working from an example. Yikes!

Isolder74 said...

@ Jenniffer


I actually was at the store walking past the bakery when exactly that happened. I volunteered to do the writing for the woman buying the cake and when I did(In nice pretty cursive) it she said to me, "How do you do that so well?"

I replied, "Lots and lots of practice."

Sometimes I have to wonder how many people at the many supermarkets actually know how to properly use a pastry bag and how to make proper lettering on a cake.

VW: cappo. We've been seeing a lot of cappo gown themed wrecks lately haven't we?

sendingtheclowns said...

Since there is an accent mark over the "e" on the 5th cake down, I'm thinking that means "conga-tay"...but I searched online for a definition-ay (Google word-searches and Webster's Online Dictionary-the Rosetta Edition) and found nada. So now I don't care anymore.
With the slimy red mess a few doors down, I read it as "Congress Grade."
So, okay~~let Congress have at it.
Why should WE have all the fun.

=^x.x^=

Miranda said...

Pssst! Congratulion! lol

sendingtheclowns said...

@ Lynn (1:29)

I think your writing is very nice!

My email spellcheck function is a joke; it likes to suggest "words" that don't even exist.
And sign me up for a spelling monkey--what a capital idea!
I'd make him a banana daiquiri and challenge him to a rousing round of Scrabble!
=^-.~^=

Boy George said...

At first I thought the "Congat's" was "Congate" (not seeing the apostrophe), and it might have been the popular name of the incident involving the "conrats".

I read "Congris Grads" as "Congres Grads" (lacking the acute accent--just take the apostrophe from the "Congat's" cake, it didn't belong there anyway!). This cake would be commemorating a meeting of the graduates of the French Dept.

WV: roust. These wreckerators need to be rousted from their posts.

nicole v said...

The best part about the 6 finger cookie cake is that it was the display and it was there for a while. I wonder if someone had to tell them.

Sharyn said...

"I do not think it spells what you think it spells."

Jen B said...

The Congris Grads cake looks like it is decorated with pizza sauce.

Dread Pirate said...

<3 the last one. And the Congrat's makes me physically shudder.

NancyC said...

These had me so laughing. As a former cake decorator, I just shake at my head at the things you have shown. Thank you so much for laughs.

Patti said...

Can you help everyone learn how to spell "definitely" too? I see it written as "definately" all over the Internet. Drives me insane.

Anonymous said...

I feel obliged to point out that it is clearly not "congrate" or "congrat'e" in #5, but "congraté", rhyming with "non-frappe".

Because, you know, it makes Perfect Sense that way. Obviously.

Kati said...

I think that Controdulation wins the prize for the wreckiest wreck.

Cortney G. said...

Do you know why I HATE CakeWrecks? Why I *despise* them, even?? Because even with my overly-educated, honest-to-God English-major-with-Oxford-University-"yes, England" pedigree.... I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check-- nay, accidentally "misspell!"-- the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence.

Thanks to your shenanigans, my mind's eye wants to subconsciously add superfluous "uaua"s to it in unexpected places, or drop the "T," or sundry other bastardizations....

I never had this problem before, CakeWrecks.
Look what you've reduced me to.

Ending SENTIMENTS with bloody PREPOSITIONS!

Congragualadtions.

Alma said...

You don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand also? That way I can avenge both my father and my cake at the same time.

jmadison77 said...

i agree with sending the clowns on the "congate" cake...I thought maybe they were saying to Anonymous "Conga te"--as in you! conga!, like a command. but i know better...lol

sister AE said...

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

mel said...

OMG!! That does look like a Rutger's cake!! How imbarrassing! I gratulated from their!


wv - tratoodu: make an effort, as in "please tratoodu the cake correctly."

Mom said...

Whoever said 2016 decorations...look closer.

Beverly Diehl said...

They were ALL disturbing but the radioactive orange "Congris" cake scared me the worst - ?2016? The big white flower/bird dropping in the center? The edging that looks like fire retardant foam along the edges? Spelling blunders aside, that is one freaky looking cake.

WV: worlonl - the worlonl-y knows why wreckerators can't handle congratulations.

catherinethejeweller said...

Lol @ Sharyn @ 4:16 PM!

Most entertaining congudulashoins!

Catherine

Letitia said...

Hmmmm. Well maybe CONRATS is a team...like the Con Rats or something. Or not...

said...

After reading ALL the comments to see if someone already commented/corrected, I am shocked and dismayed that no one bothered to tell Renee that his name is INIGO....He is not a blue color!
And you call yourselves fans!! *SMH*

"Anybody want a peanut?"

Amy Ellen said...

These are way too funny! Plus this site always makes me feel so much better about what I create. LOL
Amy

Anonymous said...

This has to be the best wrecky congratulations post ever! It made me laugh all the way! By the way, nice 6 fingers whoever's hand that is (could it be from outer space?)

wv: doelecti: These cakes do look doelecti-ble.

Jenny Jo said...

I think "congaté" sounds kind of cool. I'm going to start using it.

Anonymous said...

Oh Renee, that was hilarious!
ROFL!

Anonymous said...

Sad, isn't it?

Sûlien

wildmaven said...

"You killed my cookie. Prepare to die."

CarolinaKat said...

Ha Patti I was guilty of that for YEARS. For some reason definitely was my kryptonite (and I'm actually surprised that when I typed it out here, I typed it right the first time). I'm also saddened I haven't seen a 'congratumalations' cake wreck yet. It's my favorite butchered way to say congratulations.

WV: Extdaba: Extdaba cake with 6 fingers? Oy

GennyDiggory said...

They spelled "Congratulations" wrong?
Inconcieveable!
They spelled it wrong again?!
Inconcieveable!
Look, they've spelled it incorrectly again!
INCONCIEVEABLE!
WV:Ovorthe -to be beyond a specific thing. "I'm so ovorthe idea of ever getting a cake made."

Anonymous said...

forgot what i was going to post, because
WV: hanned. 6 fingers on one hanned.

Erin @ Brownie Bites said...

I almost gave the 5th one down the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the "s" at the end looks that way because they started to write it in cursive. Then I noticed the missing "g".. then the fact that the so-called "s" seems to be dotted..and.. then I gave up.

MrsBorthick said...

Nice princess bride reference! *giggle*

Joy said...

If I have another son ever, I'm naming him Congat'e. We're in the south, he'll fit in.

Kimberly Chapman said...

1) You know someone's going to mess that last one up now and spell it, "Grate Job!" And it won't even be a cheesy pun. Hah, see what I did there?

2) Sorry for above.

3) Here, I'll make up for the PAIN with this link for you: http://shirt.woot.com/friends.aspx?k=19375 Just got mine in the mail and it is my favouritestest geeky shirt ever. It's multi-level geeky. It's so geeky that I feel the need to type very fast about diving into a wishing well before I drown.

joyce said...

Forgive me, for I have sinned.

I misspelled congratulations on the marquee at the elementary school for the spelling bee champ.

When doth the statue of limitations run out on such sin?

sendingtheclowns said...

@Cortney G., who wrote:

" I now have an obsessive compulsion to double-check... the word "CONGRATULATIONS" when using it in a written sentence."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You think THAT'S tough?
Try double-checking your spelling in a SPOKEN sentence.

=^u.u^=

sendingtheclowns said...

@ mel
who wrote:

"OMG!! That does look like a Rutger's cake!! How imbarrassing! I gratulated from their!"
......................


Hee hee! Phunny! (And at first, I almost didn't get that you were kidding. Sad, huh?)

Alexis said...

Does this said six-fingered hand happen to be missing a six-fingered sword? Because I know the guy who found it, and he's kinda cranky. :)

Anonymous said...

love the princess bride reference. please write a novel. about anything. ill buy it and then read it and tell other people to buy it and then read it. okay? deal:)

Anonymous said...

Re:#2= con means “with” in Spanish so it’s “with rats” and I think only hot dogs have a parts-per-million allowance of rat parts. This cake is in violation of federal law!
On the plus side this means #4 is “with grad’s” but it’s hard to know if that’s good or bad until we know what the grad is possessing. :D

(#6 does appear to say “2016” and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought so)

BTW, in the bottom left side bar an ad reads: How to Remove Stubborn Kids' Stains. So, how does the stain remedy know if the kid who made the stain was stubborn or not?? Technology is just amazing but still no Spelling Monkeys or Spell Check on cakes!

-Barbara Anne

Craig said...

@C2, I also took note of 'Indigo' but I didn't want to say anything. Besides, I have seen PB exactly once -- and don't recall most of it (can I say that here?) -- so I didn't think my credentials would pass the mustard.

@Lynn, someone very dear to me is dyslexic. What I know about it is that dyslexics tend to skew high on the IQ curve, and dyslexia is one of the most common -- and most often missed -- learning variations. It can be conquered; studies show that children and adults who receive training process the written word exactly the same as someone who never had dyslexia. That said, many dyslexics choose for a variety of reasons to forgo training, and they lead very successful lives.

@GennyDiggory: clever girl.

@Joyce: The statue of limitations doesn't run out -- sculptures can't run. As to the *statute* of limitations, I think this calls for a ruling from our hosts.

wv: feers. Most feers are baseless.

Arlene said...

Boy if they find Congratulations hard to spell I can only imagine how hard it is for them to spell bridal shower or even Kwanzaa lol.. now I hope I spelled that right and if not now I am a wreckerator hooray :D.

Adorably Dead said...

Ack, the red stuff...whaaa?

Anonymous said...

BTW - it is "Inigo" Montoya... I can't believe that people actually get paid for these. So that makes the buyer just as guilty as the creator!

Anonymous said...

CONTRODULATION?

Anonymous said...

Never knew there were so many ways to spell "Curngaradewlayshiouns."

Sharon

Melvira said...

My name is Inego Montoya... you ate my cookie... prepare to diet.

wv: ouesth- I'm on a ouesth for a pwetty decowated cake!

harlowblue said...

Yeah, what Renee said. Hahaha!

sendingtheclowns said...

@Barbara Anne:
Re: Stubborn Kids' Stains--

Good question!
But since you brought it up, how about a product that can remove the actual stubborn children?

*SIGH* They can put a man on the moon, and yet...)

=^u.u^=

cakeburnette said...

Sharyn @ 4:16 PM--that was PRICELESS!

Chaos said...

1. This is even more sad than mickey mouse in a horror film...

2. Rats that con people! It makes PERFECT sense!

3. Wait... is that... DYNAMITE at the bottom? EVERYONE RUN!

4. Lovely... asterisk?

5. No comment

6. He's a member of congress with a spelling problem! (Duh!)

7. Five fingers and a thumb... and what is that on the hand? Is that like a ring or something? Is this a horror film?

lizdini said...

I am Cookie Montoya. You killed my cake. Prepare to die!

Emily said...

I had someone at work insist that I write Congrads on their cake. I was like, "Congrats"? and they were like "No, c-o-n-g-r-a-d-s". "C-o-n-g-r-a-d-s?" I said. (I figure it wouldn't hurt to double check their spelling FOR them.) "Yes, Congrads." A part of my soul may have died as I wrote on that cake.

Lisabella said...

"Congris" is used in Puerto Rican and Cuban restaurants to describe when you order the white rice and black beans mixed together instead of served separately. So I am trying to figure out how that applies to cake...

Counter Height Dining Table said...

I guess it's just a style to be known. LOL!

Almanzo said...

I hope that one day someone spells it 'Congress.' At least that would offer the benefit of the doubt on the part of the baker. They could say, "But I spell checked it!" And many laughs can be had.

Anonymous said...

I have that last picture of the 6-fingered cake as the background of my phone! It was at the Franklin Mills Mall in Philly. I am so glad someone else sent it in cause clearly I was too lazy to.

Bonnie said...

This has to be one of my most favorite posts ever. Congrads and Congradulations is one of my very biggest pet peeves EVER (primarily due to an acquaintance who loves to flaunt her educational superiority but has never once spelled this word right in my 20+ years acquaintance with her). Great blog!

Evelyn said...

I confess, I decorated a pretty darn nice graduation cake for my niece, and an extra cake for serving from at the start of the party. At 7am I was told that the extra cake would be for the other graduate at the party and I needed to write something on it. I knew spelling was beyond me at 7am, so I abbreviated. AT the party I realized the cake said "Congats"! Luckily I was able to fix it before the guests arrived, but there's at least one photo of it before the fix :( So it really can happen to anyone!

Amanda said...

I am just SO happy to see that good ole RU ( Rutgers) has an official wreck! nice to see that I am not the only one who suffered through the RU screw and can't spell!

Bhakti said...

Perhap's "CONGRADS" will be added to our lexicon as a viable portmanteau? (Did I spell portmanteau correctly? Does it matter?)

BTW--I haven't been able to leave comments from my cell phone for a loooong time...tech diff's (LOL--that was "cake decorator speak").

I REALLY wanted to leave a comment on the Pictionary post: that was BRILLIANT!!! I actually liked the cupcake cake(s) with the yellow ruler, the nuts, and the thing that was hard (snicker) to figure out what it was...

Thanks for the laughs!!!!!!