Thursday, June 9, 2011

Hats Off For Grads!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Way, way, WAY off.


Seriously. I still don't see it.


Now, for the past few years this has been the gold standard for wrecked grad cap cakes:

And believe me, that is one tough standard to beat.


Still, this year's wreckerators are certainly giving it their "best" effort:

My. How...swirly.


This design brought to you by the bad guy in Fifth Element.

(10 geek points if you get that reference, and 25 if you know his name.)



And finally, my personal favorite: two cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table:

I need an old cherry pitter, and a young cherry pitter.



A tip of the hat to wreckporters Angi C., Casey H., April P., Jennifer S., & Holly K., who find that the power of cake compels them. (Although that last one really is the pits.)
FromTheHeartsOf said...

Bad guy from 5th element=Zorg. Love that movie! Bruce Willis is his typical smooth, corny self.

Anonymous said...

Nope, the cupcake tassle still beats them all.

Megan said...

Oh my.

I love getting Geek points!

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg. :D

Raphael said...

C-C-Crap-tastic ! I see many have graduated with a Masters in wreckage.

elissa said...

+10 geek points for me. I actually really like that movie, even though a large part of me thinks I shouldn't. It's just so, so, ... Words fail me. As completely as these wreckerators failed.

Jecka said...

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg!!

One of my favorite movies ever. :)

deckardcanine said...

'Fraid I don't get the "old cherry pitter" line.

Little Lovables said...

Yeah, I get Zorg, but I never understood why he was all oily underneath that plastic thing on his head... what was that?

Carol said...

I can't stop laughing!!!! rs

jo said...

LOL Cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table! sounds like a party!

meanwhile, I think the one before that is a piano....

Rosie said...

Zorg was the bad guy but I think she meant the unseen "Evil" that made Zorg ooze the black stuff. Did he have a name at all?

auroragyps said...

I <3 The Fifth Element so much... almost as much as I <3 geek points. I managed to get the 25, but I got Zorg (5th Element), Xur (The Last Starfighter), & Zurg (Starcraft) mixed up at first, as usual.

Donna said...

Why do I think the last "cake" looks like a red jellyfish wearing boxing gloves?

Maybe I need to find some meds...or coffee...yeahhhhh coffee....

BADKarma! said...

That first one is the cap for the Witches Acacemy, and someone threw water on it.

His name was Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. So there. hah.

Katie said...

How many points if I know he was played by Gary Oldman?

Anonymous said...

I am laughing so hard I am crying. "My personal favorite: Two cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table".........hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Zorg played by Garry Oldman

Cat B said...

@Rosie - I believe Zorg's secretary referred to it as "Mister Shadow" when it placed the telephone call. And the general at the beginning had the oil-ooze too, so I'd lay the blame on "Mister Shadow" myself.

Gina said...

Can I split the difference, and get only 15 geek points for knowing it's Gary Oldman?

Rosie said...

I think the cherries are fist bumping. (they just have long arms)

jedijson said...

ZORG!!! Awesome bad guy. Gary Oldman did an outstanding job playing that weenie. And what was that oily stuff underneath that weird skull cap thing on his head? Brain fluid?

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Deckardcanine,

It's from the Exorcist. "I need an old priest and a young priest!"

See, 'cause the cherries are projectile vomiting...

Jen and I wondered if anyone would get it.

john

Anonymous said...

The cherries fit with the Zorg theme as well....he almost chokes on a cherry before Father Vito Cornelius slaps him on the back to dislodge it.

LOVE that movie! Will have to watch it tonight now!

mmmm....chicken! Good!

sevenmarie said...

by "bad guy from 5th eleemnt" do you mean Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg or Mr. Shadow (/the great evil)? Or perhaps the Mangalores

/super nerd (who am I kidding? that never ends! lols)

bassgirl said...

Holly and Hannah... "congratulatieno", must be a family code or something.

The first one to me looks like a murder scene. All that was left was the graduation cap and a pool of blood. Shudder.

SaraCVT said...

I LOVED "Fifth Element" and never understood the critical pan it got--the scene that interweaves the Diva singing opera with Leeloo fighting the Mangalores is visually perfect, to my mind. (Oh, Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg, played by Gary Oldman. 35 geek points, please.)

Anonymous said...

Have these people seen a graduation cap?! D:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god!!!
"I need an old priest and a young priest!"
We used to say that when my daughter was a baby and needed a diaper change.
I'd forgotten all about that, so thanks for the memory!

msyendor said...

extra credits for Zorg's whole name I think. Anybody else who yelled "Piiiggs in Spaaaaace!" on first seeing the Orcs-with-rayguns/Mangalores? Over-the-top space opera dungeon crawl looking for the elements of a treasure.

Um, and some of these cupcake "treasures" need to have their elements separated and put back in hiding.

wv: flopeckb -- in the divine language, Leeloo says, "I want sprinkles"

mel said...

Ah...the symbolism of the first cake...this was made for a student who graduated at the bottom of his class -- hence the cap placed over the giant foam finger, which is, of course, pointing down. The "tassel" meanders, much like the student did during his academic career. And finally, the cake is orange, reflecting his best friend's comment to him after graduation: "Orange you glad it's over."

I knew a kid who graduated in the class of 200g...he was real thin...

Loved the comment "two cherries projectile vomiting..." but I just hate to see two cherries pitted against each other...

wv - unogs: to remove the ogs

Erin @ Brownie Bites said...

I don't know if I am ashamed or proud that I get the Fifth Element reference!

Missy said...

That last one threw me extra, because I used to know a guy who used "Holy Hannah!" as a non-sweary exclamation.

WV: Minnatto. Minnie Mouse's signature coffee beverage.

wildmaven said...

Bad guy is Zorg, reference is to where the black oozes down his face! Loooooooooooooooove that movie! The scene with the opera singer and the fighting all done with just music going on is AMAZING!!!

Destinie said...

Yay for exorcist references! I just realized that I was four years old the first time I saw that... What were my parents thinking!?!

Anonymous said...

It is sad that the first one was actually the best (except for that wierd blob thing under/attached to it).

It's possible more people would have gotten the Exorcist reference if they were not so distracted by the shiny Geek Points. :o)

Andrea

sendingtheclowns said...

"Class of 200g".......?........
maybe a subtle reference to how much they'll have to pay back in student loans?
They really ALL ~~every dang one of 'em~~need to give up on the mortar board theme. These are ALL~~every dang one of 'em~~a virtual Rorschach test in buttercream.
Do they ever actually TRAIN these people????

(I can hear Groucho Marx saying, "This is so easy a child could do it. Someone go get me a child.")

=^>.<^=

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute; I thought Mangalores were the uberfighters from Star Wars (Jengo and Bobba Fett). Were they in the 5th Element too? Dang, now I gotta watch it again.

sendingtheclowns said...

For even more fun (!):
Look closely at the photo of the blue mess, and you can *almost* make out the person taking the picture, reflected in the plastic lid.(!!)
Could be damning evidence of some sort, should this cake come to trial.

=^!.!^=

Ragdoll said...

Why oh why did I read this at work? I'm biting my lip right now to keep in my loud bursts of laughter! Awesome Fifth Element reference!

KittyKat said...

Eeek! Apparently I am waaay out on the fringe of geekiness, because all these responses saying the Bad Guy is Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg are bugging me.

The bad guy who caused the dark-colored discharge from people's heads was only ever referred to as "Mister Shadow."

I loved that movie. The hubs and I saw it in the theater, bought the soundtrack, and we have it on DVD as well (normal edition and a special "collector's edition").

We quote lines from the movie at odd times. Especially "I only speak two languages, English and Bad English."

We're also fond of "Gimme the CASSSSHHHH!" One of us inevitably says this when the other has been to the bank. The other will hand over the money and go "S'okay! I don't NEED IT!"

Geeks have more fun.

sendingtheclowns said...

...For those who care enough to at least send SOMEthing...



Hmmmm...I think I'll make "Holly Hannah" my new catch-phrase/exclamation for hideous giant cookies that have to fill in for actual cakes ("Holly Hannah! Look at that ugly cookie! What're they-too cheap to buy a cake?")

=^~.-^=

Sharyn said...

The first one looks a little like the Ace of Diamonds bled out after being shot, complete with yellow crime scene tape.

The last one reminds me of Harry Potter and Voldemort battling in the graveyard, when the spells meet in the middle.

Maybe this is how the baker envisions the last scene of Deathly Hallows -- Harry and Voldemort meet in Hogwarts and prepare to battle in the Great Hall, atop the (badly rendered) Hogwarts crest. Sick with stress, they both vomit. The puking spells meet in the middle. Who will prevail?

It's SO HARD to wait until July 15th to see if the baker was right...

Laura P. said...

Just thought you might like to know that Cake Wrecks is featured today on the Dilbert website under the "Links you might enjoy" feature. Woot woot!!

w.v.: proft- Amazing that wreckerators would get any proft from these cakes!

drumnate said...

Is the answer Chris Tucker? :P
Very highly underrated movie. Way better than the critics said.

KiriD said...

Zorg is my Hero. That 'morterboard' does kinda remind me of his half a head of hair. @Anonymous at 12:46. You are thinking of Mandalorian. Bobba and Jango wore Mandalorian armor. the Mangalores are the orc looking things from 5th Element. Easy confusion to have, the words are so similar.

WV: Lingl - Jango Fett's love child with Leeloo.

Anonymous said...

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg!

Claire said...

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, and the reference is because it looks like his hair lol.

I <3 that movie

Laury said...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who saw projectile vomiting cherries and read "Holy Hannah", but then if that were what it actually said, it wouldn't be a wreck now would it? I think I will go try to actually order this on a cake and see what I get...

Barbara said...

Am I the only one who thought of "Witches of Eastwick" when viewing the cherries vomiting cake?

Hubby and I are huge Fifth Element fans, and have passed on our adoration of it to our 10 year old daughter (uh, we do skip the Ruby Rhod/stewardess scenes in the ship to Fhloston Paradise). She loves to shout out "Leeloo Dallas MUL-TI-PASS!" whenever we take the train, as you have to slide your transit card into a slot to enter.

getmeacampari said...

Mr. Shadow, how dare you mess up my graduation cake.

ashura-oh said...

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. I had to look up the spelling, but still knew the pronunciation of "Zorg". ;P

Sara said...

I didn't get geek points for The Fifth Element (too long ago since I saw it), but I did get The Exorcist reference. Funny thing is, I never saw The Exorcist. I just have a college friend who used to say that all the time.

Barbara said...

I love cupcakes but the swirls on top are making me a little nervous. I'm not sure what that first one is. Maybe it's abstract. Isn't that artist for who knows what it is?

Melissa said...

I get the 25pts geek points... but want to apply for extra credit. When my second child was born, her hair was patchy, at best. We called her Zorg until her first birthday -- when her hair finally grew in!

April said...

I'm a bit saddened. My local grocery uses cakes that have been frozen and shipped in...lol They are apparently better at decorating things somewhere else...so I have yet to see a wreck to photograph. I feel that I'm missing something ...that one day...can only be filled by finding a true wreck on my own!

Anonymous said...

The evil planet form who calls up Zorg calls itself Mr. Shadow. Fifth element is a great movie!

archersangel said...

it's not surprising that most of those are the dreaded CCC.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to nitpick but isn't it Austin Powers making fun of The Exorcist that says "I need an old priest and a young priest"?

Meg said...

I love the Zorg cake! Fifth Element is one of a handful of movies (including Princess Bride and Office Space) that if I catch it on, at any point in the movie, I MUST sit and finish watching it. Consequences be damned!

Melanie said...

OOOHHHHH!!!! Mr Shadow!! Who would have been totally proud of the black CCC swirly thing too.

AmberLee said...

While watching the Fifth Element, my father: "What are you watching? Raggedy-Ann Saves the Universe?"

Hyena Overlord said...

Domo Danke! Geek points please!

Hyena Overlord said...

Aziz! Light! Oh, now I've started...

wv: snelisan, snail martial arts master.

White said...

In the first pic... I see a wiggly match.

Anneke (Mudhooks) said...

For a split second I wondered about the "Zorg" remark then "Oh... yes... Oozing headgear".

And I am down with the "Holy Hannahs!".

I have wondered how it is that the little cap on graduation caps has been turned into what appears to be a burkha on cakes across America. Conspiracy?

Anonymous said...

when zorg was on the phone with the planet sized evil entity and made him bleed from the middle of his forehead. BAM!!!im good!

Heidi B said...

yeah, I'm going with Mr. Shadow over Zorg since he was the ones marking people & things with his black evil goo. Awesome! Gary Oldman rules.

Boy George said...

Hey, at least the Fifth Element cake used correct spelling (if somewhat illegibly).

Eden said...

Good lord, these are so damn embarrasing. A pool of vomit looks more appetising (in fact, I bet £100 you could get the likeness of a mortarboard with more accuracy from a pool of vom than from the craftmanship of all these 'professional' bakers combined).

Alma said...

I was actually thinking more of Rorschah from from Watchmen than Zorg due to the oozing quality of the black blob.

wv:thize - thize the worst attempt at a graduation cake I have ever seen!

kidlitfan said...

The swirly cupcake cap gets even worse when you think about what black dye tastes like. I once made a "death" cake ('cause 30 is soooo old, LOL!) and warned people NOT to eat the Grim Reaper in the middle, 'cause NASTY!

So its horrible, swirly looks are actually a kind public service announcement that says "Don't eat this, it's not really cake).

Signe (and no, that's not a spelling mistake!) said...

Am I the only one who sees a grad cap on a Goldfish cracker for "cake" #1?

Pauline said...

Holy smokes. Every single one of these was horribly ugly. Every one...no redeemers. Sigh

Vikki said...

I loved seeing comments where people talk about how the randomly quote The Fifth Element. My soon-to-be husband and I do that all the time. "Aziz! Light!": When were leaving the house. "Chicken" (as spoken by Leeloo). "SuperGreen...." and so on. I think this is a sign of a great marriage to come. :)

Great cakes as always by the way!

tat2kitten said...

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg protrayed by the incomparable Gary Oldman... or are you meaning that guy from the first couple of minutes when that shoot the big planet of evilish doom?

Megan La Liberte said...

Bad guy from the Fifth Element was Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. The blob of black looks a lot like the punishment Mr. Shadow gave him while they were on the phone. Yes I have watched the movie way to much but I love Bruce Willis (he's so hot) and Gary Oldman is such a great actor.

Adorably Dead said...

I loved Zorg, that headpiece was awesome.

Anonymous said...

Hee! I loved Gary Oldman as Zorg. *g*

As for that last cake, I saw the names Holly and Hannah and my mind immediately went to Sam & Jacob Carter's favorite saying of "Holy Hannah!" Yeah, I watch waaay to much Stargate; if there is such a thing.

Sûlien

andygirl said...

you said not to disturb you unless it was Mr. Shadow. and it's Mr. Shadow.

Crystal @ Cake Decorating Mom said...

OMG these are just awful. It's like some cake decorators did not even try.

Craig said...

When are wreckerators going to graduate from CCCs? Yes, I know; 'when people stop asking for them', but all it takes is a concerted effort to educate the public, preferably by directing them to CW. Anyone who continues to insist after that has been warned.

I cite in support of my thesis the first three exhibits.

#2 Could 'Class of 200g' have anything to do with that white powder in the lower left? Wait, that's a reflection from the cover. Never mind.

#3 is from Van Gogh's 'cupcake period', which proved to be the cause, rather than an effect of his insanity.

#4 "Why did you have to go and spill ink on that nice cake I just decorated?! Never mind, just write 'Congratulations' on it and we'll pass it off as a graduation cake."

#5 Yes, it's the Giant Cookie of Doom. On the other hand, 'congratulations' seems to be getting mangled less often these days (I hope I won't have cause to regret saying that). Yet another positive effect that Cake Wrecks is having on society.

"At present, nothing is possible except to extend the area of proper spelling little by little."

Clint said...

I think that fourth one, with the formless black void in the upper left corner, may be my favorite. It kinda looks like the Langoliers tore into it.

Anonymous said...

+25!! WE geeks rock!!

BTW, I thought there were supposed to be graduation cakes that looked like hats in this post. ??

-Barbara Anne

Loni said...

I usually don't get to come by here as often as I'd like, but when I saw the reference to the 5th Element, I made sure I did. And I was not disappointed :o) Oh, and geek points to boot, what more could a Nerd girl want? Of course that's the blood/ooze from under that weird skull cap thing and the baddy was Jean-Baptiste. Emanuel (sp?). Zorg. I think a viewing of the movie is on the "must do" list for this weekend :o) Green? Super Green!

Kimberly Chapman said...

How many points for having painted the Zorg Industries logo in food colouring on a cake? ;)

Arlene said...

Well looks like that first cake found Nemo..sheesh what a way to celebrate a graduation lol. Too tired to come up with much of anything other than eeeeeeeeeeek to that CCC swirly poo hat thing lol.

Darla said...

Yay! 35 geek points for me!! That's one of my fave movies...even though all the boys in the house hate it. What do boys know anyway?! ;)

That last cake was just weird and incomprehensible til you said it looked like two cherries projectile vomiting...then I was sick. It's like the revenge of the fruit from Stand By Me...guess they were out of blue frosting for blueberries, though.

Molly said...

5th element, bad guy named Zorg with with the bizarre plastic headpiece. Congretylishons to me!

Anonymous said...

The cake with the hand that says Great Job has to many fingers!!!
Kim, Aurora, Ontario, Canada

Bryna said...

I thought Zorg's cake was more of a baby grand piano... but, that's just my eye's view of it. :)

Meghan said...

yay, geek points for me! :D

Meghan Smith said...

All I remembered was that his name was Gary Oldman. Do I still get points. I certainly don't remember any falling pianos in the movie. i do, however, remember watching the RiffTrax for it and laughed so hard that I was in pain.

Anonymous said...

The cherries are definitely bad, but hey, at least they spelled congratulations correctly!

Sharon said...

OMG I just found your blog and have laughed so much I'm crying. Thank you!

-You-Can-Call-Me-Al said...

Zorg hardly counts as a BAD guy. He's a businessman, that's all. And innately evil. But smart. Or at least, smarter than his customers. And I want one of those guns. I can think of many occasions I'd like to freeze my enemies, or at least throw a net over them. I'd mount it on my bicycle. :-) Hey, I bet even a wrecker could make a Mangalore-head cake! The uglier, the more accurate!

Aeris Liliflora said...

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg. He was played by Gary Oldman, and that movie is one of my favorites like ever. Supergreen!~

Robin said...

Yay, 35 geek points!

Also, yay, Gary Oldman. That guy gives good villain.

(Yes, I'm frighteningly behind on my blog reading.)