Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Future's So Brite...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

With graduation season over, you might be tempted to revel in the heady hopes of a brighter tomorrow, what with all these freshly educated, newly degreed youngins descending upon our workforce and all.


I'm here to fix all that.


This cake was supposed to say - I kid you not - "It's a girl."

That apostrophe placement will be haunting my dreams tonight.


Of course, it's also possible to get the spelling and punctuation perfect, while still completely missing the point:

Granted, this could be a "he said, she said" issue.


Hey, remember when preschoolers were taught to put the square blocks in the square holes, and the round blocks in the round holes?

Do they not do that anymore?

For some reason I'm getting the feeling this is supposed to be a base"ball." Odd.


And remember that toy with the pull string that told you what the dog says?

Do they not have those anymore, either?

Wait. Is that a cat?

Ok, now I'm really confused.


Still, I guess we can take comfort in knowing that these wreckerators won't always be wreckerators:

Eventually they'll get promoted to management.


Thanks to Becky A., Jane R., Stacey S., Jennifer V., & Alissa P., who want to ask that employee in the background, "Hey, why the long face?"
Oldish Lady said...

I think "mourning shifts" are early morning or late evening shifts.

Prism said...

"All right children, it's Story Time"! Today's story is about a sad orange kitty. See, Orange Kitty says "Woff, Woff".

You are right, children--that is a TERRIBLE story, we will read something better now.

Here is a story about a little cloud that wanted to be a baseball, and here is a story about a Gini, oops, I mean a Genie, who lived in a flower garden, and here is story about...never mind, we will try Story Time again next week children. The Story Lady needs to go get some "medicine"."

flying gargoyle said...

I think that first one actually says, "I don't give a flying fig about this job"

Anneliese said...

"I'ts Giri" sounds like a great/terrible sitcom title. Either way, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't watch it.

Lizzy said...

I'm surprised the second one doesn't have Just written before say. Like an arguing couple deciding on what they want finally get frustrated enough turn to the wreckorator to give the order and they tell them
"Just say 'We will miss you.'"

Tricia L said...

Perhaps the Woff Woff kitty cake is in tribute to the barking cat viral video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3gzee1cps

That doesn't explain the spelling, however.

Kristin aka Trekkie Gal said...

GAH! I didn't even notice the apostrophe placement on the first one until you pointed it out. Now it will be haunting me as well....darn you!

And clearly person that gets the job at the bakery in the last picture will be mourning their grammar, spelling and cake decorating skills, which are strictly forbidden at a supermarket bakery.

bassgirl said...

No, that orange "being" can't possibly be a kitty. No self-respecting cat would be caught dead wearing a bow. ...and that one looks pretty dead, too.

Jessica said...

wv: aquese
The stitches on that cloud remind me of badly done surgery. Now, I'm feeling little aquese.

Kimberly Chapman said...

"Mourning shifts" sounds like a dangerous place to work, like something dear Mrs. Lovett needs to hire.

Reminds me of the hotel up the highway that had a "Now Hiring: Housekeepers" sign for so long that we started to suspect it was a ruse to feed some Doctor-Who-ish beast they kept chained in the basement.

Or it's possible I just have a sick mind.

Gwenyver said...

"Mourning Shift!" Wahahahahaha! Ok, seriously now, my boss makes that type of mistake all the time. He has told one of our suppliers, who's name is Clarence, but my boss always spells it "Clearance", that he made us look like "fouls" (fools) in front of our "Costumers" (customers). And I'm in the fashion business. Can you imagine if I was a baker?

Anonymous said...

If you pronounce the first one with a soft "g," it sounds like "It's scary." - with an accent like the Count from Sesame Street. Just sayin'

Stephanie said...

I guess mourning shifts mean you're going to regret the job.

Buffy said...

What? My dog says "Woff Woff" all the time.

Lady of the loch said...

The mourning shift? What time is that?
Oh right... just after the graveyard shift.

Oh dear this must be how wreckerators get more and more wrecky. No one wants to employ a new worker that is more 'clever' (or at least as 'clever') as they are... or they might do themselves out of a job.

Anonymous said...

Are we "mourning" whatever died and went into those jars? It's all so creepy-- is that stuff you're supposed to eat?!?

Anonymous said...

I "mourn" looking at these cakes. especially the giant red centipede creeping across the cloudy cake. that one terrifies me.

wv: seropa. where is seropa? I'm so depressed I need to hang myself.

HannaSolo said...

Am I the only one who saw Crookshanks?

Brooke said...

I'm speechless. And that orange cat/dog thing is scary.

Mel said...

Mourning shifts... Hilarious !!

The baseball one... that's scary.

American Momma said...

That first one reminds me of an old commercial where the couple was trying to save long distance minutes. He calls his mother up and says, "Wehadababyit'saboy." as fast as he could. Of course that doesn't explain the grammatical horror that is that cake but it reminded me of that anyway.

WV-andem - Andem if you could spell girl wrong that would be great.

Stephanie H said...

We should be careful with our comments about the dog/cat. Judging by its left footprint, it's also part velociraptor.

KayeStuff said...

It's a "mourning" shift because it's the graveyard shift... ;)

The Reluctant Diva said...

I'ts giri: Because "it a gril" is SOOO last year!

Kate said...

in defense of the orange "dog" cake, in french, dogs say "oauf oauf" (or that's what they told me in high school), which is pronounced "woff woff"...i know, it's a weak defense, but i had to throw that out there

Aliza said...

#1 Well, I do know a woman with the surname "giri" ... but wow, to not know how to spell "girl" is a level of illiteracy that I can't mock in good conscience.

#2 That pretty much covers how I feel out our temp who's contract is FINALLY up on the 30th and has incorporated herself into a goodbye party for someone we like and respect.

#3 Cake wrecks is having an impact! That's individual cupcakes, not a CCC! As for the design, honestly not sure if that drawn on a conventional round cake would actually be much better.

#4 Well, I remember when the wife of a local celebrity died your small dog hot pink. And I did see an article earlier this week about a fashion in China to dye dogs to look like pandas or tigers...

#5 "Mourning shifts"- in a funeral home?

WV pangals. Another term for women who love baking!

Anonymous said...

Maybe they are hiring people to mourn at a funeral?

Jill said...

Poor puppy/kitty/McDonald's FryGuy. Apparently its front feet are on backwards, for it to make prints like that.

Caroline B said...

Wouldn't you just like to turn up to that job interview in a black suit plus top hat with feathers, doleful expression and see how far you got.....I despair!
(Our local vegetable market sells 'Oboe Jeans' - I don't know whether to laugh or cry!)

Anonymous said...

"Mourning Shift"...lmao! Somebody should be working at a funeral home or morgue, not a bakery.

As for the "baseball" CCC, given the state of education in the U.S. these days, they probably don't do the square peg in square hole thing anymore.

Never heard of a CCC before finding this site, but after seeing all the horrible attempts at them, yes, I do share your loathing of them.

MilesToGo said...

The baseball cupcakes was eerily like the thing the aliens imbed into teenagers' spines which turns them into zombies in "Falling Skies"
Forgive me, I'm in morning.

Anonymous said...

How dumb can people be??? Where are they coming from??? O_o

Gary said...

Gwenyver said...
"... He has told one of our suppliers, who's (sic) name is Clarence, but my boss always spells it "Clearance", that he made us look like "fouls" (fools) in front of our "Costumers" (customers)."

A restaurant where I used to have lunch had a sign, "Restrooms are for costumers only." The weird thing was, the place was quite close to the city's "design district," so if I hadn't known the proprietor (not a native English speaker), I might have thought it meant "costumers."

sendingtheclowns said...

ME! ME! HIRE MEEEE!!!

I want the mourning job!
These cakes need SOMEONE to cry over them~~and I'm just the one to do it!
I can wail loud enough to scare the customers away!! (That IS the goal, right?)
I'll bring my own hankies, and, and EVERYthing!

Where do I apply??


=^O.O^=

Rachelf said...

I may have laughed so hard at the last picture that I snorted, while I was at work, but the reports are unconfirmed, so don't believe a word you hear.

Fantastic work, Wreckers! It certainly brightened my morning...

Andrea said...

Maybe the wreckorator of that orange cat, or dog, or whatever got confused after watching this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP3gzee1cps&feature=share

Kathleen Taylor said...

I wrote a murder mystery in the 90s that was titled Mourning Shift. It's set in a cafe... though I spelled it that way on purpose.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/038079943X/ref%3Dsim_books/002-1197451-1550459

lisadh said...

I agree w/flying gargoyle @9:43am.

Frankly, I think they all say that. LMAO!

Anonymous said...

The answer to all your questions is: 1) No. 2) NO. 3) No! or 4) Nooooooo!
Your welcem.
Rev W.

Anonymous said...

The mourning shift one?
It has to be the nourishment given to the hired criers at an Irish Wake.
(The family of the departed got roaring drunk.)
They sometimes propped up the body and put a drink in his/her hand, They toasted and the criers cried.
Tis true- happened in my Irish family.
mocking

Haiku Joy said...

Mourning shift happens.
High-pitched giggles replace grief
over frosted flubs.

Eve said...

"We will miss you."

Can I have my cake now?

Craig said...

Funny 'story', @Prism.

#1 Reminds me of Andrea Martin's character, Perini Scleroso on SCTV, who translated everything she heard into her own 'language'.

#2 This wreck could also be one of the better attempts I have seen to convey sarcasm in print.

#3 The little-known sequel to 'Field of Dreams' was 'Field of Nightmares', where a cornfield was taken over by the ghosts of old baseballs, reincarnated as CCCs. This one is especially scary -- a baseball-football hybrid.

#4 That isn't a dog, so why wouldn't it say, 'woff woff'?

#5 There's nothing wrong with the sign -- this is the Greek Tragedy Delicatessen. Not really suited to conversation because of all the wailing, but the food is sensational.

It would be easy to mourn the passing of English literacy, but Cake Wrecks has us too busy laughing instead.

pikkewyntjie said...

Um, okay, "We will miss you."

"I'ts Giri": India's most popular sitcom. Oh, that Giri and his crazy antics.

If I worked around those cakes, any shift would be a "mourning" shift as in "where did I go wrong in my life to end up working here?"

Gina said...

Maybe they think that's the British spelling of "morning".

foxfyre said...

That is not, in fact, a dog OR a cat.

It's obviously a Cheeto/dust bunny hybrid that was under Giri's couch so long it grew a face. And a hair ribbon. And velociraptor toes.

I'm going to stop now, before I give myself nightmares.

WV: thipspe. "No, I'm not in the least bit drunk. I'm not even thipspe!"

Kati said...

Well obviously, the long face is 'cause he is on the mourning shift.

Anonymous said...

Any shift where I am required to punch in before 11 am is definitely a mourning shift.

Sharon (not a mourning person)

Princess Judy said...

Isn't "woff woff" the sound corduroy pants make when you walk around in them? That... whatever it is could be a crumpled pile of leftover cords!

WV: gostro.... these cakes give me gastro-intestinal distress!

The Pink Ladies said...

We, Pink Drink Ladies, are cake "mourners". Mourning the loss of quality spelling on today's cakes.

Lucky66 said...

@Gina - i'ts not the British spelling of "morning," i'ts the Canadian spelling.

I think once someone was offended at a reference to differences in some Canadian and US spellings, but no harm was meant. I love Canadians and Canadia. I'm even part Canadian.

wv: goncyc - I've goncyc-o after trying to figure out the orange thing's species.

Cindy said...

Every time I look at it, the orange cat/dog is still on its back. AAARRGH!!! Was it doing a back flip and that's why the paw prints are like that? and it crash landed?

Heather said...

I LOVE the fact that the now hiring sign is stuck to the glass with some kind of sticker.

mel said...

The "mourning shift" at this bakery is the shift during which most of the cutomers come in to pick up their cakes...and then, when they see them, mourn the death of their decoration dreams....

Anonymous said...

"Woff Woff" apparently only has three toes on each foot. New breed or bad accident?

Reminds me of how often I see OOPS written "opps" (which makes me wonder what kind of operations they're conducting, anyway).

Also, sometimes it goes the other way across the counter:
http://notalwaysright.com/congra-duh-lations/11237

Anonymous said...

Maybe the "I'ts Giri" decorator knew more than he was letting on. In Japanese, the 'a' article doesn't exist and 'giri' means a social or moral obligation.

Angel said...

That last picture totally looks like a Marble Slab Creamery. I worked at one! Believe me, all shifts were mourning shifts. And the boss always misspelled words on signs. Also, not a single guy could write on an ice cream cake without it looking like my dog wrote on it.

sendingtheclowns said...

Huh...

My sources-- reporting from radio station WWHO(cares)--have revealed to me that our little WoffWoff is actually a second cousin (once removed, but managed to get loose and come back) of the darling pinkish/kittenish thing that was showcased in this very same place on 6/20 ("Making New Friends"-Go on! Go back and look!).
They do look related. Same goggle-eyed, disgruntled expression; same hair stylist (going with the "piped-perm")...Why, they even have the same classic tastes in furnishings ( clear plastic, skylight roof, white flooring)...
Never mind that one is a "cat," and the other a "dog,"--they're both (technically) cake. And too classy to be eaten.
Small world, yah?

=^u.u^=

The said...

I have a friend that starts every sentance with "say" maybe he ordered the cake :)

Anonymous said...

Re: #1
Maybe "Say" is a person's name and it's more like "we're going to miss you" (NOT)!!

Yeah, I was reaching but I've got nothing for the others.

-Barbara Anne

P.S. I am seriously in the need of an Epcot for the party factor. (sigh)

Anonymous said...

oops- Monday, Part II, gremilns strike again- I meant the second cake. (double sigh)

-Barbara Anne

Diane said...

I think the "mourning shift" is that one that covers the time when the previous wreckarator has died or quit (or been baked into one of those awful cakes?). ;)

Aliza said...

@Gwenyver… a friend of mine just posted to her facebook wall a restaurant sign about washrooms being only for "costumers"! I immediately thought of your amusing/distressing post. I love those sorts of coincidences.

WV "farva". Farva love of G-d, please learn how to spell before you pick up a bag of icing!

silver.work said...

pssst - it's 'younguns' not 'youngins'

=-)

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

silver.work,

Technically, it's either young'uns or youngins. It really depends on if you're using old-fashioned slang or new-fangled whippersnapper slang.

I prefer y'ung'ands.

john

Arlene said...

Hmm I would say if I had to work there I would be in mourning too lol. Since no one can spell morning. Wow at that first cake. I honestly hope whoever got that cake at least enjoyed the pretty flowers lol. Sad orange cat thing on the other hand is perfect as a Halloween prank.

tiny p. elephant said...

no wreck here, obviously someone named Say was leaving. Hence,
"Say, we will miss you."

Craig said...

@Barbara Anne, trying to summon an EPCOT is like telling a pitcher he has a no-hitter going.

The EPCOT will come again. It is inevitable. Unless, that is...people have started reading comments before posting. But I prefer not to think of such things (though I do it myself).

Worse still, civility might have invaded the land of Snark and they could be successfully resisting the urge to correct John and/or Jen. (As if.) The EPCOT will come when it is least expected. Just believe.

Meanwhile, I want to know why the SL has been so uncharacteristically quiet. Perhaps the governor has found ways to keep her usefully occupied. (And angel food cakes throughout the land heaved a collective yet nearly inaudible sigh of relief.)

Trish said...

whistling spleen - I snorted out loud!

Toni said...

"Mourning shift" What a DEPRESSING job!!

Anonymous said...

@Craig
I only like it when you're right about the cakes ;P

Besides, J & J (thoJ) could start an Epcot if they wanted to!

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

Wait, doesn't everyone have a Chetto -covered "dog" that says "woff woff" to you in the "mourning"?

Anonymous said...

Someone else already mentioned this, but I also thought the "I'ts Giri" cake might not be quite so bad if it was Japanese and done as a joke. It's a "giri" cake because someone was pointing out that it was socially/culturally obligatory to give someone at this time, and I could see how a Japanese person might misplace the apostrophe that way since "I'ts" puts it right between the syllables if you're using Japanese kana.

In other words, イツぎりケキ !

Eh, forget it. I think it was indeed done by SCTV's Perini Scleroso. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Stephenie Daily said...

I laugh so hard because I was once (probably still am) a terrible speller myself!