Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Time to Chicken Out

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

You guys, Easter is this Sunday!

Quick!

Let's terrorize some children!

"Ohh nooo!"

Oh, YES, 'fraidy cat half-chicken! For far too long now, Easter has been the holiday of the cute and cuddly. Well, NO MORE.

"It's PAYBACK time, beechez."

"Bwahaha!"


"Yeah. Just you wait 'til I roll over there, kids. Just you wait.

"Right, Bugsy?"


"Ohh yes. Meet your hippity-hoppity nightmare, young whippersnappers!"


Or shall I introduce you to the Ghost of Easters Past?

Alright. This chick is toast!


Now, brave Wreckies, if ye do doubt your courage - or your strength! - come nae further!

For DEATH awaits you all...

...with nasty, big, pointy teeth!!


[blink blink]

Um....

Soooo...


Lamb chop, anyone?



Thanks to Shannon C., Heather, Summer B., Jekka G., Candice C., Danna F., Rachel P., & Jennifer D., who tell me that goes great with mint jelly filling.

Now: run awaaaay!!
Muria said...

Why, oh why, did they make the lamb cake PINK?? It would have been pretty cute if it didn't look like you got a slab of meat instead of cake.

Scary cakes, indeed!

Amanda Mac said...

Somehow I don't think flat-leaf parsley is especially complementary to cake... but that could just be me.

What in the world is that fuzzy gray stuff on the 5th??? and what compelled the wreckerator to outline the crotch area?

8424c696-390c-11e0-9801-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Oh, the lamb cake is bad --- bad, bad cake color choice. But that rabbit-type thing --- or is it two rabbits? I counted 4 eyes and 2 noses, but only one set of ears. A mutant Siamese-twin rabbit?

Anonymous said...

Wow... I didn't know Passover Lamb came in leavened form. Wait, I thought it was s'posed to be unleavened this week. Guess that baker was too PC and up-to-date on their knowledge of the Feasts...

Anonymous said...

Cuddly pink lamb cake. . . with parsley . . . mmmmm.

DFrank said...

Nice Ghostbusters reference!

Jodi said...

That last lamb cake is hilarious! Love that it looks like meat...so gross.

Anonymous said...

I believe there is a typo under the third cake. It should read BAAAhaha. You're welcome.

Rachel said...

Shouldn't the first lamb cake say "Baaaaaaaahahaha!"?

Gaah, I can't punctuate that right. You know what I mean.

That last cake is major Nightmare Fuel. *shudder*

Kae said...

The last one reminds me of my son's baptism cake. I decided to borrow my mother-in-law's antiquated lamb pan (reminds me--there's a 3-D lamb cake looming up this weekend) and make a nice meringue-frosted lamb cake. It was pretty cute until I decided to brown the meringue and got carried away with the culinary blowtorch...

White said...

J.C.!! That lamb cake freaked me out. Made me want to skip the next six meals.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

LOL, I was wondering when the creepy lamb cakes would show up! Love the Ghostbusters and Holy Grail references. You *almost* had a Braveheart quote in there too. :-D

Bugsy is gonna haunt my dreams tonight. Mustn't. Go. To. Sleep.

wv: uncearme: to relieve my seared eyes after viewing those horrid cakes! Ahhhhh!

Tiff said...

I think the Monty Python reference is quite appropriate for the season. Thank you!
The lamb cake doesn't disturb me quite as much as the psycho, oddly iced bunny CCC... :/

JessicaT said...

Bwahahahaha! Love Monty Python, just perfect!

Still though, you could have worked in the "Vicious Chicken of Bristol" in there too, but the killer bunny rabbit is always a favorite!

Dani said...

At least it's not smoking.

Amelia Poll said...

Oh that last cake is so utterly disturbing!!

Beth said...

I see the cooked the lamb just the way I like it...rare!

lizzied said...

THE HORROR!

Lorien said...

At first I thought that bunny had a nice ... tracts of land. But then I realized that those are supposed to be cheeks.

Still a little traumatized by the 'egg' between its legs, though.

Anonymous said...

RUN AWAY...

Jen said...

I will definitely have nightmares tonight.

Anonymous said...

D: D: OMG what...are...they... THINKING?????

Rachel said...

Honestly, I don't think that lamb cake is a wreck -- I think that person knew exactly what he or she was doing...and it's AWESOME.

Caroline B said...

That last cake looks like it would taste good with a nice Chianti...tchtchtch...

Christian Johnson said...

Lamb chop cake? Most excellent, although it'd be even better with a Sherri Lewis cake on the same theme.

wv: I remembersmut!

"Smut!
Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can't shut,
If it's uncut,
and unsubt-
Tle.

....as the judge remarked the day that he
acquitted my Aunt Hortense,
"To be smut
It must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance."

Lesley Wright said...

I am totally getting your Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference there... lovely work, as always.

ninja dude 11 said...

Awww poor bakers they must fell so guilty about the hellish creatures they created

john said...

Chickbob Eggpants!

Fluffy Cow said...

Waaaait...
Did you say whippersnappers?

KSLS Rocks said...

Ugh...I just soiled my armor I was so scared. ('Cus, you know, my job does require that I do wear armor.)

That lamb cake is so creepy and a most unfortunate color.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

Why are the lamb cakes always so horrifying???

And what, may I ask, is going on in the ccc rabbit's pants????

(love the Monty Python quote too...hehee...pointy teeth)

Alyson said...

At least the lamb cake wasn't red velvet...

"The cake is bleeding!"

teri said...

The lamb cake is fan-freaking-tastic! i would love to have that as my next b-day cake!

OrvillesMom said...

Ghostbusters reference + Monty Python reference + wreckeration = gold!

Anonymous said...

These cakes are not at all afraid to be wrecked in many ways!

mel said...

It's about time Halloween got it's due! Er...wait, this is Easter.... Love the lamb cake -- Easter meets SAW VII. These are sick, sick, sick!

wv - brearch: the sound small children will make in the bathroom after they see these cakes.

Badcookie said...

LOl! I am twisted enough to think the lamb cake is horribly awesome! I want one now.

Donna said...

Personally, I had a terrible time tearing my eyes away from the hypnotist lamb (aka wreck #2)....I now feel the funny urge to do something completely embarassing that I wouldn't normally do....

aep1974 said...

I'm reminded of the wedding scene in Steel Magnolias with the armidillo groom's cake - it was red velvet. Grotesque!

tiffanyharvey said...

Amanda Mac, Lorein, Amy ~
The 5th cake is supposed to be a rabbit's head and the thing at the bottom is a polka dot bow tie around it's neck. Think 'Roger Rabbit'. The gray stuff in the middle are whiskers that bleed everywhere.

tiny purple elephant said...

Eeekk the first cake is looking at me!!!
And that lamb, WHY?

jo said...

that cute poor little lamb. is that strawberry cake? I love how he's sitting on a bed of parsley, and that a leaf is hanging out of his mouth as he nonchalantly has a snack while being carved up, with an expression on his fondant face like, "What?"

wv: funrock. edible pebbles. or an amusement park for the Flintstones.

BADKarma! said...

1) Nice "Ghost Busters" and "Holy Grail" call-outs!

2) WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!?!?!!

3) Evil Lamb Face Cake is actually pretty funny. So is Evil Bunny Face Cake.

4) That final lamb cake is FECKIN' HYSTERICAL. I want one. Is that wrong? (blinkblink)

5) There IS no Number 5.

6) You are Number 6.

Shannon said...

That butchered lamb almost made me puke i was laughing so hard. BWA HA HA HA HA HA... I'm sending that to everyone i know!

Winona said...

That lamb cake is secretly awesome - I would buy that if I didn't have children (who would be horrified by the cake, of course).

kayk said...

Forget the pink innards, it's the (clearly a choking hazard) EYES on that last lamb! (And they way he's blandly chewing the parsley while he gets dismembered.)

lawnajo said...

At least the lamb chop doesn't have a cigarette, but it looks like he's smoking "weed" instead. ;-)

Managed Hosting said...

I think it's safe to say that Easter cakes are the most disturbing cakes. Why would you think it's okay to cut up a baby lamb like that? Talk about destroying a kid's view- you may as well say the Easter bunny doesn't exist!

msyendor said...

Cake #3: Fenton, Death Sheep from Hell!

(http://www.tomsmithonline.com/music/dsr0a9d1i0o/index.html) #169

That last one, must be some really good parsley it's chewing.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was cilantro...

melanie said...

Melanie Gudgel says MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE!!!!! Who knew a cake could bring that out!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

Stephanie said...

Giggling madly... once again, your commentary is what makes these cakes even more hilarious than they already are. :D

Knit Wit said...

The last lamb's knife-sharp gaze seems to be lost on whoever was wielding the knife.

Anonymous said...

WOW MEOW! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the Monty Python references .. and now that I have stopped crying with laughter .. I just have to ask .. what on earth would possess ANYONE to make that lamb cake?! Talk about traumatizing your kids! Sheesh! Thank you so much for posting these pics & the comments .. I needed a good laugh .. Ally (Allycat) Coe =^.^=

angi said...

My 3 year old was terrified and ran away from my lap!! I told him it was ok and the Easter Bunny is not so scary. No cake in OUR house this Easter!!!
LOL

Melissa said...

Bless you and your Monty Python reference-I just had to wipe orange juice off my screen. Gotta love the spit-takes :D

Anonymous said...

Is it me or does the first one look like a chicken version of sponge-bob square pants?

Carly said...

hahahah i love the one lone leave sticking out of the lamb's mouth.

Leslie said...

ummmmm - is my hippity hoppity nightmare wearing crotchless undies?

Laury said...

Even if I were to ignore the horrific blue-eyed orange lamb thing from hell, why would you need to decorate brownies? Is there no baked good safe from the sugar-choked icing frenzies of the mad wreckerator? It's a BROWNIE, already covered in CHOCOLATE ICING. Go have your CCC (ptooie) but leave my brownies alone!!!!!

And I too wonder at why that poor rabbit has a 'third foot', or maybe it's just a handy pocket...

JHill said...

Some people call me... Tim?

Sheila said...

Oh heavens! That lamb cake is beyond disturbing!
But I love your movie references! nice to know others share my slightly warped sense of humor!

Craig said...

#3 Ok, this critter is seriously intense. Does the wreckerator have issues, perchance?

#4 Oh, that's a FINE cookie, Billy. It's GOOD that it looks like that. Now wish it into the cornfield...

#5 That's an even BETTER CCC, Billy. (Patooie! That cornfield must be getting pretty full by now...) What? Oh, nothing. (Nervous laugh)

#6 Not many people know that before Louis Wain painted cats, he tried using chicks as subjects. This specimen is why he turned to cats.

#7 "This isn't working, I know it isn't working, but it's the last cake for today, and it IS going in the case no matter what it looks like! OKAY? Happy EASTER!"

#8 "Tell me, Clarice, and don't lie, because I'll know; how did you make the lambs stop screaming? Clarice? Put the knife down, Clarice..."

CHRP said...

Wrecks of the highest order!

Anonymous said...

That last cake may be meatloaf (made with ground lamb, perhaps) not unlike the baby meatloaf.

Anonymous said...

Marginally off topic, but there really is a killer rabbit - on the facade of the cathedral in Amiens, France. It is part of a carved depiction of "cowardice" within the central doorway and shows a knight dropping his sword and running away from a rabbit.

And I like that last lamb cake. But I'm the odd one in my family.
LittleRed1

PaulaKayPas said...

"That rabbit's DYNAMITE!"

Anonymous said...

Smells like...burnt dog hair. Oh, sorry, Venkman...

-michelej

Liza said...

That lamb cake took me straight back to the armidillo grooms cake from STEEL MAGNOLIAS! And appropriate, too, that the inside is pink. Lamb looks a little dazed...

Kimberly Chapman said...

GB and MP together at last. I heart you.

JohnnyB said...

"The Slicin' of the Lamb" starring Jodie Froster

Micalah said...

Why didn't I listen to the warning you gave me?

Anonymous said...

Anthony! Anthony wishes them into the cornfield!!!!!!

Kc said...

Wow that lamb cake almost makes me want to become a vegetarian....

Kc

Katrina said...

So the lamb has giving up smoking for Lent and has taken up daisies instead. ....yep, pretty sure that's a daisy.

neon said...

You guys may have already seen this at PaulaDeenRidingThings but check it out!

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_likr30npHH1qhajmxo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1303423415&Signature=mbzbIzD1RnlU7kC53F0EopRSHzE%3D

Jabby said...

The lamb chop cake is just.. no. I've always wondered how creepy it would be to cut into a cake that looked like a cute animal. Now I KNOW I only want plain sheet cakes for my birthdays for the rest of my life!

Karate Los Angeles said...

These cakes are the reason that children hate holiday characters. What if your daughter thought that was Bambi being cut up? I don't think she'd ever recover...

BillyBites said...

lamb cake looks alil creepy no?

Craig said...

My bad -- I must have been thinking of Bill Mumy, who played Anthony.

My first CW correction -- think I'll have it bronzed. :-D

MTGrace said...

What the *bleep* is going on with Bugsy??? Are those his feet? Is he carrying some kind of weaponry, or is he wearing a gray & blak polka dot bikini? I don't get it.

Anonymous said...

Now I want to go looking for a cake like one of these and freak out the younguns!

Stephenie Daily said...

Thank gawd you included the evil Lamb cake. I don't care how well executed it is, it's still just WRONG and I've been railing against it for years!

Kevin said...

Nice Ghost Busters reference. :)

Anonymous said...

@ Christian Johnson: To you we sing with our glasses raised on high!

Littlefoot

Jude said...

I am totally reminded of Donnie Darko, a movie I wish I could unsee as much as I wish I could unsee these cakes.

I am also reminded of my time spent in Buffalo, NY, especially in the incredibly fabulous Eastern European market (underground, in a somewhat-secret location, with food and gifts that would make you think you are actually in Russia, Poland, and the like). Every Easter they had butter. In shapes. Many almost identical to that last cake. So, would you like to slice the lamb or scrape it's immaculately sculpted "wool" off it's back and put it on your rolls?

Culturegirl said...

Haha this blog cracked me up and freaked me out a bit.

The lamb cake is so funny but horrible at the same time!

Arlene said...

And here I was thinking I might get lucky and have Easter week without a lamb cake wreck! I was so so wrong lol. Those evil wreckerators love making me squirm at their lambs. The bunnies and erm rolly polly things too.

Adorably Dead said...

Loved that last one. I would relish eating it....in front of a vegetarian.

Anonymous said...

That last one is just so wrong.

Aron said...

Ok, leaving aside number 5's excess of nipples on his gray furry chest, and not even discussing the horror going on between his feet....WHY does he have a fountain of brain matter squirting out of his head???

Carrie said...

Why isn't the lamb smoking? I thought that was standard with those cakes.

aimee said...

The WORST part about the lamb is that it is identical to the lambs found on children's headstones in the 1800s.

Moon Rani said...

Thank you for showing us a lamb cake! The real question is, will this year's lamb cakes with cigarettes be updated to lamb cakes with electronic cigarettes?

Anonymous said...

Is 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit?' really that obscure these days? I thought for sure there would be a Roger Rabbit EPCOT regarding cake #5 and yet it looks like only one other person mentioned it! Hmm. Do I need to reevaluate my life if Roger was the first thing I thought of?

- Meg B.

Anonymous said...

In the hippity-hoppity nightmare picture, I could not figure out a reason for the black outline in the groin area and feathering onto the "legs". Then, I realized that it might be a bow-tie.

CK Bakery Shop said...

All I have to say is "what were they thinking?" I have never seen anything like that at our local grocery store. Thanks for the laugh!!

Sara Stinson said...

I just have one question...Where can I get that loaf of bread??

What a disaster!

Anonymous said...

The second to last one looks like the bunny has skeleton hands holding its boobs. Creepy.

L. Erin said...

Its funny...reading these comments about cake #5, I realize I didn't even notice the offending (and offensive) egg/private part debacle. I was too distracted by THE GIANT UTERUS AND FALLOPIAN TUBES on the bunny's head. Does no one else see the resemblance???

Anonymous said...

I don't often comment, but that CCC bunny is a horror (or whore, whichever you prefer). It looks like it's an exotic dancer with weird pasties, unique G-string, and HERPES! Cupcake anyone?

Anonymous said...

How did Big Bird get on that easter egg?

missred871 said...

okay I am thinkin someone saw steel magnolias a few too many times..... sure the lamb is cuter than an armadillo cake but....ew...lmao who am I kidding I love it I want it... and the parsley....well that was kinda wrong I mean who wants to eat a cute defenseless lamb chompin on its dinner?