Friday, April 8, 2011

Gootchie Goos

Friday, April 8, 2011

Jen and I have been in D.C. this week to visit some friends, see the sights, and catch the plague like we do every time we leave the house. Of course, one of the best parts for me was getting to hang out with our friends' two kids, who are both as adorable as baby sloths yet have enough energy to power Detroit.

Now, we don't actually have children (unless you count the ones with claws and hairballs) but this trip has put me in a baby kind of mood. Granted, I'm as seedless as a bag of lettuce*, but indulge me, won't you?


*See also:
Sterile as a box of Band-Aids
Fruitless as a butcher shop
Pulp-free



Technically, it's also of girl.


I think that's spelled "Toby."


You're right: "3 Times" was just silly. Much better to cross out the "s" with that exclamation point.


Ok, nobody panic. We're just gonna need some hot towels, a flashlight, and a low voltage car battery. And no sudden movements.


Well, yee-haw! Good for you, son!


And finally,

Guess Who!!


Aaaaand the baby mood is gone.


I do, however, miss my cats.



Hey Kelly R., Merideth J., Kimberly G., Danielle R., Beverly S., Anony M., Susan G., & Sarah W., is there a doctor in the house?
Anonymous said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ob/Gyn to nurse: Sonic screwdriver, please.

wv: masedore, as in "She masedore that baby very much, no matter what he looks like!"

DB

maralenenok said...

I can never unsee the last two photos. Oh god.

Kelly said...

Those are hilarious!!!

tina said...

That last cake is just wring on so many levels

Anonymous said...

I bet the "exclamation point" on the triplets cake is supposed to be a dollar($)sign. Can you imagine?

CC

Donna M. said...

When I saw the "hello mommy" cake, I thought "OMG, she gave birth to a monkey!"

Gary said...

"It's having a baby"?

Well, our cat had kittens yesterday. But doesn't anything capable of having a baby deserve to be called "she"?
Even my crayfish is a "she." (Yes, I have a pet crayfish, and, as a wreckorator might say, "It a gril.")

KittyKat said...

That's hilarious!

And of course, any post featuring my all-time favorite Doctor gets major geek points. Love it!

My little geeklet on the way is getting a knitted baby blanket, made in sections, each section replicates part of The Scarf. Grandma not only knits amazingly well, she's also fairly geeky too. She's been kind enough to show me the progress on the Scarf-blanket so far. It's deliciously geeky, and scrumptiously soft too.

Mijinjax said...

You are so dang funny - and so creative! Thanks for giving me a smile every day!

Jenni said...

Bahahaha, dead ringer for number 4! I say this a lot, but... best.post.ever. I am so showing this to my Tom Baker-loving husband! lol

emain said...

My husband likes to say that he is "just like a sunkisk orange-all juice and no seed"

Anonymous said...

All I can say, as a cake artist and pastry chef, when you pay $11.99 for a cake at a chain store that only cares about its profit - you deserve what you get...

Signed: A struggling pastry chef who has yet to spell someone's name incorrectly (because I actually care about my customers...)

Great Aunt Maude said...

Babies not being my thing, I was only mildly amused until the last cake. Then I fell out of my chair laughing. I hope workers' comp covers this...

WR: sinserac: "Sinserac, may I go to lunch now?" [sorry, best I can do with a concussion]

bassgirl said...

Looks like cake #2 got rushed out the door before it was finished. It needs more stuff on it. Or maybe it was supposed to say "to be continued".

I heard "Molly It's having a baby" read in a terrified voice. Even the lettering looks scared.

Diana said...

eatting honey vanilla greek yogurt and reading today's post does NOT go well together.

Thanks for my daily chortle :0)

Trevor said...

Bah. You should have told me you're coming to DC. I'd love to have taken you two out to dinner. If you're still around for a couple of days and have time, let me know. Besides, I need slave labor to help me get ready for my wedding next weekend. (oh wait, did I say slave labor? I mean help, yes help!)

These were another awesome set of wrecks! I wondered though if the ! over the S was supposed to be a $, so it's like Ke$ha. How tragic would that be?

Denita TwoDragons said...

That last cake and its Time Lord doppelgänger made me evaporate in fits of laughter! I'm going to spend the whole day giggling...

WV: sysms...as in "That last cake was a shock to my sysms!"

Kimberly Chapman said...

I'm going to be walking funny all day at the thought of having that scarf chafing its way out down there. So...thanks for that. Ow.

*waddles away*


PS Admit it, you two want the sloths because they're cute AND appear to be bearing insta-weapons on each hand, but then they only use them for more cuteness.

Adorably Dead said...

Loved the Molly one. Too bad for the spelling because the first one was really pretty.

Cathy said...

I think Cake #2 is supposed to read: "Congratulations on your baby-to-be" as in zygote. Weird way to announce or celebrate a pregnancy if you ask me.

RoseAnn said...

I totally think the "3 times!" is supposed to be indicating a $, not very subtly. That thought (3 times the $) would be pretty high on my list if I were expecting triplets! First on my list would be how to explain to DH since he's so kindly been snipped. LOL

Viiriäinen said...

*humming* Yes, she's once, twice, three times a baby...

Stacy said...

The last cake looks like a woman giving birth to a woman! That cake will just never be ok...ever!

Anonymous said...

OMG who is that a picture of????? As for the rst all I can say is O_o AND D:

Stephanie said...

Extra cool points for the Doctor pic at the end. I was hoping for a DW reference today, too! :)

Caroline B said...

No wonder she looks surprised - that's the wrong kind of doctor to be rootling around down there!

mel said...

It's of boy....love it!!! And is that a monkey in the last cake??? Having a baby? I dunno, I was just monkeying around and now this.... All these cakes need clown heads!!!! Sorry...still traumatized by that day's cakes......

wv - noreaddi: unprepared

T said...

last one scared me something awful!

and maybe they meant to put It's a Girl - 3 times the $ - because having two girls myself... that's at least accurate.

Anonymous said...

Make that last doctor number 9, and I am allllllllllllll for that cake!

Linda in Louisville said...

I apparently am not geeky enough to have a clue who the dude is, so enlighten, please, fellow poster, this doofus who has no geek stripes.


wv: visheole. A small stringed instrument that is a hybrid of a viola, washboard and ukulele. "The sad clown strummed his visheole." Sorry for the nightmares this induce for some of you. Drink some warm milk.

Anonymous said...

As a mother of twins, that is most definitely supposed to be "Girl 3 Time$"...multiples are more $$$, and multiple girls, even more $$$ so!

Bobbi

J. said...

OMG! Molly! Run for your life!

Also, may I just say I LOVED Tom Baker as Dr. Who? (There, I said it. Though I was also quite fond of Peter Davison.)

And if I had attended a baby shower where that last cake had been served, I would have never bothered with infertility treatment. (Btw, never heard the phrase "As sterile as a box of Band-Aids" before. Nice.)

Another awesome post (exclamation point three times)

Rue said...

My morning could not be complete without that picture of Tom Baker.

Morning accomplished.


WV - manizat: Manizat doctor sexy or what?

Amie said...

It's not Toby, it's KUNTA KINTE.

Jeffrey Poulin said...

So I'm confused, does Jen not do this blog anymore, has she deligated this blog to her husband because she's more interested in the other blog she does?

Elizabeth C. said...

I'm a little surprised that no one has offered their... pulp...
Though I imagine your readers are mostly geeky girls and cake lovers, so we are also unable to provide pulp.

And now that I have seen the last cake I am kinda hoping husband is pulpless as well! Yikes!

LN said...

These are hilarious, but the icing on the cake (no pun intended...at least, not completely intended) is the Doctor Who reference at the end! Tom Baker's smile does kind of terrify me. Thank you so much for never failing to make me smile!!!

birdmommy said...

I'm so glad my husband didn't know there was a DW option, or he would have had me birthing a Baker (scarf and all)!

WV: tedendia - My husband has a tedendia to be a bit obsessive about Doctor Who.

drumnate said...

'Cause you're Once, Twice, Three times . . . the money?

Anonymous said...

exterminate these cakes sincerely the daleks

Australia said...

Hahaha so silly,,,I really enjoyed reading your posts.

Puppygirl said...

That last cake and the many previous baby-parts/belly cakes has led me to release a fatwa/edict/diktat declaring that if ever I were to have a children (not counting the four-legged barking kind) that there is to be no celebration of this event.
Not with cake.
Unless the cake only has baby carrot jockeys. Those are awesome!

Anonymous said...

Regarding Jeffrey Poulin @ 11:42 AM...

Maybe you should look at yesterday's posting.... just a suggestion.

WV: quize. If this was a quize, Jeff failed it.

Anonymous said...

OMG. That Tom Baker/Hello Mommy thing just had me choking on laughter here at work!

ViolaNut said...

I gave my roommate a knitted Dalek for her birthday yesterday - I think I need to borrow it back for that last cake...

Michelle said...

I, too, am SHOCKED that Jen hasn't posted since...yesterday...oh, um...

Anyway, I love the "I's a Boy" and "Molly It's Having a Baby" cakes. I thought I couldn't chuckle at baby cakes anymore, but those were hilarious.

Classic Steve said...

The second is probably exactly the message the customer wanted. They consider a fetus or embryo a "baby to be."

Anonymous said...

I want the baby slothes!
-Laura

Jillian said...

Look at the angle of Mom's feet on that last cake. It's flipper!

Anonymous said...

@ Gary,

There is one exception to that rule: the seahorse. With seahorses, it's the MALE that gives birth, not the female. The female transfers her eggs into the male, and then it's up to the male to bring the offsprings into the (ocean) world.

YogaGal in the NW said...

So needed this... thanks for the laughs. I think I need a low voltage car battery now.

Donna said...

I love the look on the Mommy! If the "drape" were larger, it would look more like a porn cake...Just sayin

Marie said...

Tom Baker! I'll make sure my husband sees this episode of Cakewrecks.

Anonymous said...

I love you guys! I have had the worst day and reading this made me smile. Thank you!

Michelle

Melissa said...

LOL, thanks so much I needed that laugh today and the Doctor Who reference at the end, even better!

Amy said...

Doctor who?

Aviatrix said...

Do you think maybe the Cake Wrecks website is influencing the way people write on their cake order forms? I would predict that some people take the lesson to heart and write exceptionally clearly, double-checking their own spelling and avoiding any possibly dubious requests. But the flip side of my hypothesis is that other people have learned of the unintentional hilarity of a cake wreck, and thereby fill out their forms sloppily, with parenthetical notes, little pictures and odd line breaks, just waiting to see what the wreckerator will make of it.

Kimberly G. said...

My Dalek clock and I loved this post! I knew Dr.Who could be worked into any situation!!

Anonymous said...

The Tom Baker picture put me in a Dr. Who mood. I looked at the baby sloths and they are sooo cute!!

drgns4vr said...

Am I the only person on the x3 cake to see little boxing gloves?

Heidi D said...

Dr. Who is priceless btw. :)

My husband and I refer to our two cats as the boys.

shadow said...

"Pulp-free" nearly made me spit coffee on my keyboard.

Ellen said...

Bet that Dr. Who hair tickles on the way out!

Of boy? Isn't she a character from The Handmaid's Tale?

And the Molly cake made me think of the the birth-in-the-back-seat scene in Men in Black.


wv - uronso

Uronso good a roll, CW team -- don't stop now!

Micalah said...

Laughed out loud!
hahahahahahahahahaha

Amydove said...

I think you censored the wrong part of that last picture.

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Hey Jeff,

Actually, Jen has one of the worst colds I've ever seen so I did this post this morning to give her a break. So we're clear, Jen does nearly every post and heavily edits anything that I or Number 1 write.

If anything suffers, it's the post frequency on EPBOT. CW is Jen's baby.

I'd write more, but Jen is coughing up a lung in the bedroom and I have to go tell her to be funny.

john

Mama Bat said...

I was waiting for you to say something about how it's bigger on the inside....

Pixie said...

What is wrong with that last cake? "Baby cake? Well, then we must have a naked lady!"

Anonymous said...

Some of those cakes make you wonder just who here in America can really spell? The one with the "It's a girl" 3 times; was probably supposed to say 3 time$...then it's funny AND makes sense.

Anonymous said...

@Linda in Louisville -- You may have gotten it from context by now, but the fellow in the last picture is Tom Baker, who played the fourth incarnation of The Doctor in the very long running, very popular British SF series, Doctor Who.

ros said...

Why do none of these cake moms giving birth have a gown on?! Or a t-shirt? Or something?!

LAX Car Service said...

I think it's safe to assume that the babies in said mothers' stomachs reached out and wrote these cakes themselves. It's the only logical way to explain the spelling and grammar, don't you think?

Muria said...

I hope Jen feels better soon (and that it doesn't involve hospitals like the trip to Texas)!
Great wrecks, today, too! That first one would have been a nice cake, and the last one was truly scary!

Tracey in NH said...

Before I read the caption on the last one, I thought it was a stripper giving birth to a chimpanzee. Did anyone else see a monkey baby there?

Anonymous said...

Huh- John can't go to TX and Jen can't go to the nation's capitol...(prepares to run & hide) Two of the places in this country with the loudest blowhard populations!! (TEE HEE) Hope you both feel better soon.

-Barbara Anne
bye!!

Anonymous said...

Pulp free. PULP FREE!! hahahaha!!! I could barely get past that part I was laughing so hard!

MissNay said...

Pulp free.....*snickering*

Cats are of pretty dang amazing, aren't they?

Arlene said...

I would be shocked too if a full grown person came out of me like it appears to in that last cake. Bleh. Whoever keeps making cakes like that one must really not want to have a baby lol. Must try to unsee what cannot be unseen by that evil photo alone.. nightmare city here I come.

Craig said...

#1 "It's of Boy" -- why do I hear Natasha saying that.

#2 "I TOLD you we should have waited a few more weeks to order the cake!"

#3 I also vote for $. Not that I get paid to vote, but I vote for the last character being a '$'. Love that monochromatic frosting.

#4 'Molly It's Having a Baby' sounds like something from Dr. Demento's library.

#5 "I's A Boy"?! Does that bakery have a 'Ready in 10 seconds or it's free' promotion? What is going on at the top of this mess?

#6 This is at least 17 kinds of wrong, all tied for first place. My first thought was 'Curious George gets a little too curious.' But then I clicked (why did I DO that?), saw that 'baby' has eyes on the top of her (?) head and the universe made sense once more. What's with the feet? And a serious proportioning problem up top. I would have put the censor bar over the whole thing and called it a day. Thanks for the mammaries...

Amy said...

I think the woman on the last cake was giving birth to a monkey...

WV: Even my sistsis wouldn't want to eat that cake!

Yoshimay said...

The Doctor! That made my morning!

Sharyn in Superior said...

I think the "Molly, It's having a Baby" cake was really thoughtful. If I found out "It" was having a baby, I'd definitely want a piece of cake to soften the blow.

For some reason, that cake is making me think of a really creepy story by Jerome Bixby called "It's a GOOD Life." Yes, Anthony just disappeared half the town to the cornfield, but... there's cake!!!

I hope you both feel better soon --if I could, I'd send you a "Sorry about the Mucus" cake.

Melinda said...

It's definitely supposed to be "baby-to-be" on that one cake.

Heather said...

I feel an Epcot coming on!$

Duck and cover people, duck and cover!

jillb-ilslp said...

I'm checking in late, but still had to comment. Just wanted to say, John, that I'm glad you are keeping Jen in line. She'd better be coughing funny. Maybe the lung that comes up will resemble Tom Baker, too. Now that would be funny!

wv: entusi I love checking entusi what laughs CW has in store for me daily!

pikkewyntjie said...

That last one totally proves my theory of reverse evolution!

Mad Cooper said...

I cannot be the first to see Tom Baker in conjunction with baby cakes and think:

"Jelly baby?"

And you call yourselves nerds!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for changing "see the sites" to "see the sights". Gotta get the right homonym!

john (the hubby of JEN) said...

Yeah,

That's what I get for doing a post an hour ahead of time and not having Jen proofread it.

Oddly enough, it took me a long time to start referring to places on the internet as "sites." It just seemed wrong. Ah well...

john

Anonymous said...

Given the three pairs of booties on #3, I think it should have said:

It a gril!
It a gril!
It a gril!

Could be worse. Could be raining Tom Bakers.

Littlefoot

LK said...

ahaha, I get it, because he's Tom BAKER! :D

diddleymaz said...

Ah -Ha!! no one else has noticed that the "bow" on No1 is actually a squid! possibly a huge giant one, or maybe a baby Kraken??
The Dr is back on our screens here in the UK trailing the 6 new episodes that begin at Easter, yipee!!
My eldest son and I are now looking forward to introducing his baby boy Thor-Alan to geekery ,Thunderbirds and Stingray,Dr Who, Star Trek, Star Wars...what treasures await :)
and Daisies.

Anonymous said...

Well, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get my paranoid internet security guard to let me see the baby sloths! BAH! Fooey!
But did it block that horrible monkey/Who baby? Or the Doctor? No. Time to get new guard.
And WHY are all these "new mother" cakes adorned with strippers who have mated with alien life forms?
*washing eyes*
O God I still see it

wv: Love the Sunday sweets wedding cakes verecha or poora.

PS: Eccleston rules

--Blondie's Mom

Anonymous said...

To Tracey in NH:
(I have got to be more timely in my reading/posting)
Yes, that was definitely a stripper giving birth to some kind of chimpanzee hybrid
*shiver*
--Blondie's Mom

Anonymous said...

Gary - kittens are great. You should really think about getting your cat spayed soon. It lowers your pets risk of cancer and also .. 4 to 5 million pets are euthanized a year because there are not enough homes. Have a great day!

Anonymous said...

My uncle in-law told me he's a "Florida orange, all the juice with out the seeds". He's not a handsome man and I will never be able to get that image out of my mind.