Thursday, April 7, 2011

Estonian Kissing Day

Thursday, April 7, 2011

According to The Repository Of All Knowledge And Wisdom In Our World (aka, Wikipedia) today might be a Valentines-ish type of day in some remote corner of the world or potential worlds. In fact, I'm almost 63% sure that today is, in fact, "Kissing Day" in the western region of Estonia.

Or was that on Epsilon Ceti B II?

Whichever, the point is that I can post old Valentine's cakes without fear of the "fact" police getting all up in my cakey "business."


Now, kiss me, you piece of...chocolate!



After all, you alone hold my heart:

Not to mention my bowels.


What, still not convinced? Then allow me to inscribe a few sweet nothings for you.

[wink]

[finger gun]

[double wink + finger gun combo]

[licking fingers and smoothing eyebrows]

SO...are you a puddle of oozing desire yet?

No?

Ok, time to break out the big guns:

[tongue waggle]

(You know, whether you read that as a command or an adjective, it's equally romantic.)


[tiger pose]


[duckface]

Need I say more?

Yeah. I didn't think so.



Thanks to Meagan M., Greg M., Kimberly B., Amber T., Natsk, Amy I., Rebekah K., Michael D., & Kyra, who always talk smack when they're feeling peckish, but still refuse to give me any lip.
Jenniffer said...

I totally cracked up on the "Hello Gorges" cake!! LOL!

Stephanie said...

"Tours Truly"? Sounds like a tacky name for a tour bus company... or something.

marikoy said...

The chocolate on the first photo looks like poopies. ek!

Tours truly,
Marikoy (Lol!!!)

Jessica said...

wv: allit

Allit needs is more sprinkles.

Tina, said...

On the UR G8 cake...Is that Mustard? And I'm with Marikoy on the pooh thing asking for a kiss is kind of nasty.

rachel said...

what a great way to start my morning :)

Ellen said...

:::fanning self:::

My, my, those got me all a-quiver.




I always quiver when I'm sickened.


wv - wellym

Wellym thoroughly amused by today's post!

laura said...

Wow. Truly remarkable. Is anyone else thinking that the "chocolates" on the "Swetie" cupcake cake (ptooie!) might be plastic flotsam? They look a bit too perfect to have been achieved by this baker.

Sharyn in Superior said...

Actually, the 3rd cake (cookie) is for "Acknowledge a Geological Formation Day." Other popular choices are "What up, Mesas?" and "Hail, Shale."

J. said...

Ya know that "Hello Gorges" cake could have been from a bakery in Ithaca, NY, where people have bumper stickers that say "Ithaca Is Gorges."

[Btw, ever since your post disparaging and categorizing us commenters, every time I leave a comment now I wonder which category you are mentally putting me into. I think today I fall into "Know It All," and not in a good way. :-O]

P.S. The verification word is "inizatio" which sounds like something dirty in Estonian.

Naomi said...

Man, don't you just hate it when you're in the middle of a huge piping project and you can't for the life of you remember what a capital letter Y looks like? And you try to stumble through with ur txt spk and a complete absence of adverbs, but then you get to the cookies that are supposed to say "Yours Truly" and you're completely stuck! So you furrow your brows and scratch your head and drool a little until you remember what a lowercase "y" looks like-- but that's only half the problem! How on earth are you supposed to extrapolate the shape of a capital "Y" from a lowercase "y"? You chew your thumbnail and rub your eyes and stroke your chin (all at the same time) until you start to picture it... there's a vertical line with... something on top? Suddenly it comes to you in a flash of brilliance: lowercase "y" has a little "v" shape on top, so obviously the top of capital "Y" must be a "-"! Genius! You've saved Val.ntine Day!

wv: lunatick (yes, really)

schmaimz said...

Okay the cakes were hilarious but your comments crack me up... honestly Jen - "cakey business"? hahahaha

You're fnunny. And I mean that. it's prounounced 'fu-noon-ee', all the kids are saying it, you'll see.

Meg said...

Love them!...Although the Gorges one makes a little sense if it comes from the bakery in the pacific northwest. There is a place in Washington State called the Gorges, and all sorts of puns have been made...remind me why I am being serious...hmmm Oh well
-Tours Truly
Me

Anonymous said...

"Duckface!" I nearly swallowed my gum!
WV: whica. i.e. Religion you have to use to conjure up some of these wrecks.

Anonymous said...

Wut the...

Loo-E Loo-I said...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I looked on-line (as in Google search) and there are a bunch of National and International Kissing Days. So, I guess everyday could be considered kissing day somewhere, so feel free to post Valentine's cakes whenever you want! It's OK 'cuz I said so.

wv: squipse: song that could be playing in the background "Total Squipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler

Donna said...

Loved the "swetie" (translated in my world as "sweatie")cake!

Zombie Edward said...

Is that "Swetie" cake covered in plastic bonbons? Why not put real ones on there instead of those iridescent bits of flotsam?

Caroline B said...

Yay, cake No.2! Finally a confection to celebrate impacted colons!

wz - squized - that blockage needs to be squized out....

msyendor said...

"Yr G8"? Man, does someone have to now figure out spellcheck for Txt speak?

Of course, it could be a correct quick note reminder to close the barn door.

msyendor said...

Oops. Mea Culpa. That was "UR G8" -- gotta watch my own yard here.

Fluffy Cow said...

"Tongue waggle" made me cry. Just sayin'.

Wendy said...

Hee Hee Hee

Wait...is that poo trying to kiss me?

Kimberly Chapman said...

I bet someone tried to throw that second cake away but it kept coming back around.

Gary said...

You know, the chocolate frosting on those first two cakes looks like big piles of Epcot.

KiriDeathstalker said...

Maybe UR G8 is a vailed (very very) vailed reference to Ghostbusters. UR G8 KPR? They just didn't have room for the KPR!

Classic Steve said...

A cake for the G8 Summit?

WV: premerie = Wreckish for "premiere."

lisa.sakoda said...

Today's Laugh:

BUHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA! COUGH! SNORT! HAHAHAHA!

I love the healing power of laughter <3

Mari said...

I'm Estonian in Estonia but I didn't see any major kissing action anywhere today tho..
We DID have the Hug an Estonian Day on February 24..
So I went on Wikipedia to investigate. It said: Did you mean: estonian killing day
I did not, so I dropped the investigation so I wouldn't find anything more disturbing...

MTGrace said...

Isn't it sweet? The intestines and poo have come together in (sort of) heart-shape to tell you they love you!

Mari said...

oh.. WESTERN part of Estonia. yeah, those are some crazy people. the things they say about snow make dialectologists make a happy dance.
Although my Western-Estonian partner of two years hasn't said anything about any kissing days..

Anonymous said...

J. (@ 10:09) - I was just getting ready to publish a comment about Ithaca being Gorges when I read your comment. Thanks for taking the "Know It All" bullet for me. Your sacrifice is appreciated.

MariaTeresa

mel said...

Those first two cakes definitely need clown heads! And lots of 'em!


wv - hoggem: to keep them all to yourself

Gary said...

Wow, Mari, I hope there's not an Estonian Killing Day. Whether that means a day to kill Estonians or a day when Estonians kill, it's still bad.

I'd be happy to hug you and the rest of the population of Estonia, though.

Mary said...

The finger gun and Tongue waggle made me laugh. The comments along with the cakes are so darn funny.

Carli said...

such a funny post! I could just picture you doing all of the actions. lol

Adorably Dead said...

I want to go on a truly tour.

lisadh said...

ROTFLMAO!! Oh, my...gasping for breath...you've done it again!

So funny!

(finger gun)

Emor said...

Oh man, "Hello Gorges"!
If I ever go back to working for that rafting company in WV (which operates in the New River Gorge and the Gauley, which is also in a gorge), that will be my going-away cake.

Sarah said...

This post KILLED me today!

I'll be sending the mortuary bill to you.

Nate's Mom said...

If I saw the "UR G8" cake, I would have bought it for my totally nerdy, text savvy 4th grade son, who is quite proud of his GATE status. LOL.

Sheri in CA

Diana said...

oh my! my dear daughter came over to the computer to see what i was crying / laughing about. Saw the first cake and said " ewww who'd wanna kiss that?"
Thanks Jen and John( husband of Jen) for such a great place to harvest some laughs.

RU said...

Thanks! I soooo needed a good laugh today. You guys are the best!

LaurenH said...

Ha, they're doing it wrong! It's supposed to be "Bee mine" Or leave it "Be mine" but include a picture of a bee :)

Micalah said...

Laugh out loud!

Craig said...

The 'fact' police getting all up in your cakey 'business', Jen? Whatever made you come up with that excellent line?

Wikipedia is edited by the sort of people who read things on the Internet and simply must corr... just answered my question.

#1 If Kisses looked like that, Hershey would be out of business.

#2 Indeed. The swirls aren't helping. Trust me.

#3 'Gorges'? On an iced sugar cookie, yet. I would bet that the majority of guys who saw that in the display case laughed at the thought of buying it, then visualized the likely reaction and walked away whistling innocently.

#4 @Tina, that definitely looks like mustard. The work of Mrs. Cropley lives on!

#5 This is what happens when people work in swet-shop conditions.

#6 I must point out that 'Sun Shin' sounds more Korean that Estonian. I wouldn't call the Fact Police, but someone else might.

#7 Yuck.

#8 Why is there more than one 'Tours Truly'? Is there a machine that spits these things out? I wonder why that idiom came to mind.

#9 It's so... that is, I... er...

Blog said...

Oh! Beautiful cakes! I liked this!

Theresa said...

I swear to god, I thought at first that last cake had to tiny uteruses on it.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I am neurotic about reading the comments first before posting. Otherwise, I would have been asking what that first cake was all about....*that* was supposed to be a candy Kiss. Thanks, Craig. I never would have gotten that.

That last one looks like Mrs. Joker.

Oh my! What happened to the wv?! It looks like that Sachertorte Epcot. I seriously don't know if I can make that out....nope. Trying again....

Andrea

Anonymous said...

UR G8 could be a private message to a Stargate fan. You know, like "UR G8 or mine?" No? Didn't think so either.
TXRed

Secure Hosting said...

I still can't get past the first image. Is that a turd? I don't know how I would feel if that were my cake...

Gale said...

You know, the bowels are the seat of emotion in some cultures. ;)

Kimberly Chapman said...

@Mari: I totally want to see what cakes come out for Estonian Killing Day.

Kerry said...

c'mon KISS ME. You are gate. And I am tours, always.

DaninNZ said...

That last cake makes me feel a bit sick... The pink of the icing is hideous, and the fact it's saying "Kiss me" with its tongue sticking out like that is... ewww. Just horrible.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* Epsilon Ceti B II?? It's Ceti Alpha V, for Jim's sake! It's like I don't even know you any more, Jen. *sigh*

-Barbara Anne
off to sulk in a corner (and the diodes down my left side hurt(and you're damaging my calm))

P.S. what the frak IS that poo mound supposed to be, anyway?

SaraV said...

The "Hello Gorges" could also have been made as a greeting towards the "high dollar" car dealership in Omaha. (And they pronounce it "gorgeous") Taking the "Know it All" bullet for the midwest region.

wv: suintr. Your mind must be suintr something else the way some of the cakes turn out posted on this website.

shannon said...

These cakes are so funny!!

pikkewyntjie said...

I would love to give someone I was ticked off at the first cake: "Kiss my s***!" But if I did, I wouldn't be a good follower of the wisdom of the G8 philosopher Sun Shin, the author of "The Arm of Wart." But people often mistake his sayings for those of Confuse-us.

Lauren said...

I did every one of those romantic motions as I read them...before I realized I was in a lobby with strangers.

MissNay said...

These were delightful. Defrigginlightful.

DJ Twisted Sister said...

Illiterate people need love and cakes too...so let's not "jujj" them, k?

Rachel Feeser said...

This was fantastic. Just what I needed to end my day...a lot of laughter! Thanks for brightening my day!!

Kati said...

Perhaps the "LIVE" cake was for someone's boyfriend or girlfriend who was fighting for their life in the ICU on Valentine's Day.

I'm thinking that [tongue waggle] would really go well with the last cake. Blech!!!

Val C. said...

Well, the bowels were once considered the seat of the emotions, so . . . :)

WV - Anterec
The "little blue pill" for the ant and his "special someone".

Val C.

The Beaudoins said...

You've got me rolling!
Those red heart cooking look like they were inscribed with the "love of a man".

Twilight said...

Yay for Estonia! B

Michelle B. Baker said...

I KNEW I should have submitted the picture of the cake in my grocery that said "Be Mime!"

Arlene said...

My brain exploded over that first one. Ewwwwwww kissed by a pile of poo lol. And come on they can try and spell check when they write on cakes and cookies..can't they? At least none of these was sorry for giving anyone herpes lol.

Leena said...

Esimene, me suudleme kõik eestlane. Teise me suudleme teie!

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Donna said...

aThe cakes were hilarious on their own, but the "love" commentary.....Jeez, I spit my coffee everywhere with the "smoothing eyebrows" one!!! :) Thanks for the laugh...and the mess...!!

Monica said...

Wreckerator #3: "What do you mean, 'Hello Gorges' is spelled wrong? Spell check certainly doesn't think so!"

Bhakti said...

Hahahahaha!!! That first cake!

Just like I have never gone in the ocean without thinking of a great white shark after seeing JAWS, so too will I never eat another Hershey's Kiss without thinking of that smiley-face, google-eyed, warm-looking turd of chocolate on that first "Kiss Me" cake!!!

You had everyone in the family laughing at THAT happy little blob. :)

Robin said...

I know it LOOKS like a pile of poo, but I'm still convinced that it must be the rare, legless Goomba, on prozac. If nothing else, that would be slightly more appetizing than a pile of poo ;)

Spak said...

Hey, maybe the Hello Gorges one was bought for Josh Gorges, the hockey player for the Canadiens. :P

kimberley said...

That last one.. wow.

-Taimi- said...

I´m also Estonian and have not heared about the kissing day...

But I know for shure that the National Estonian Killing Day is cancelled for years now, cause there is only 1,2 milion of us left...