Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Easter Bizarre

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I know we've been seeing some odd Easter treats this week, so today I thought we'd get back to basics.

After all, nothing beats a nice, time-honored, classic Easter...

...loaf of bread.

Yep, Easter is now infecting spreading its cheer throughout the entire bakery!

Just look at this happy character:

Cocaine Bunny sez:

"I'm your monkey fighting FANTASY! Just check the tag." [sniff]


Other bakeries are endorsing bunny-cide in more...creative ways:

Because the Alien chest-burster scene always makes me hungry.


Speaking of which, this one gives a whole new meaning to "Alien face hugger":

When it comes to spotting Wrecks, he's all ears.


Next we have the traditional Trojan Rabbit:

Just don't leave it unsupervised come nightfall.


Thanks to Christine C., Sue, Bliss B., Ali M., & Shannon C., who think two Monty Python references in two days is just wrong. After all, everyone knows THREE is the number thou shalt count.
Gary said...

Trojan Rabbit!
Bwahahahahaha!

The Boob Nazi said...

These are terrible.

Fluffy Cow said...

Which is why I am grateful that this week is Passover. Matzah is looking pretty good right now.

Jasini said...

Are we sure that's a Trojan Rabbit, and not a Trojan lamb (or even Trojan mouse)?

wv: sepende -- I would not sepende any money on these wrecks.

bassgirl said...

I think the Trojan rabbit is disguised as an innocent Easter Lamb. But the message is still the same..."RUN AWAY!!!"

wv: berps Eating any one of these Easter creations will result in berps.

elissa said...

I'm so confused. Bunnies? Those are supposed to be bunnies? Have the laws of nature changed? Have we crossed the portal into Bizarro World?

Someone just tell me everything's going to be OK.

WV: phillyze. Just put lots and lots of phillyze cream cheese on them, and you'll never notice.

[And I want credit for the first Monty Python reference, days ago.]

NYCGirl said...

The Alien Face Hugger resembles a pink E.T.

Artemis said...

$25 for that "fantasy bread" powder covered rabbit? Really?

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does the "hugs" bunny ccc (patooie) upside down and just plain wonky?

Anonymous said...

Oooh, that first bunny looks MAD....like the idiot baker dropped a bag of flour right in front of him and ruined his nice brown skin.

sacrifice bunny looks pretty content and yummy. the bowl of dip in the belly is a bit weird....

and that Trojan Carrot us unnerving (love the leaves on the back) but why does the bunny have Princess Lei rolls by his head AND ears? Is he wearing earmuffs? is he going to explode something in there?

funderson said...

I, for one, cannot get enough Monty Python references...

mel said...

I think the bread has a serious yeast infection, and the Alien face hugger is really a monkey! Love the dip 'n' eat bunny -- gross to the max, and would look good next to the lamb cake from yesterday! And what's with the bleeding eyes on the Trojan Rabbit?
Yummy!

wv - beirs: Easter beverages made from fermented bunny hops

John said...

Well, five Monty Python references would be right out! Although the...er...ahem..."powdered" bunny would explain how it got to be a creature so foul and cruel, but I'm still at a loss on how it got such big, nasty, pointy teeth! :P

Stargazermom said...

I swear the "hugs" bunny said "Slugs" on it at first glance... LoL!

JHill said...

To be fair, the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats....

Jenniffer said...

Is it wrong that I think the bread rabbit / spinach dip bowl is kind of cute? Oh, OK... I thought so!

Anonymous said...

The veggie bread bunny looks really tasty. I just want to rip off one of his ears, dip it in his exploding entrails, and gnaw on it awhile. I'm also curious what his teeth are made of.

Flartus said...

The wreckerators are expanding my mind in frightening ways. I never dreamed I'd have trouble distinguishing between a rabbit and a lamb.

wv: "moofiess" Perfect.

Shannon said...

is that a car made of carrots??? or just a car that happens to be growing grass?? LOL either way, it's funny stuff!

Anonymous said...

The horror, the horror D: D: what do any of those monstrosities have to do with Easter

BLP said...

These cakes are criminal. Easter brings out the worst in people, doesn't it? I'm almost afraid to ask if it gets WORSE. :D

KiriD said...

I am so having the Exploded Belly Dip Bunny for my next party! My morbid humor loves it. I am a bit concerned about the hugs bunny. Is he going to hug me with his legs? Are those his legs? Would that hug be sexual harrassment?

wv: Derchon - even throwing some derch-on these cakes would not help.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

Oooo lookie at all the pretty "fun guy" colors!

*snort*...hey I'm giggling...what did you think I was doing?

Awwww he's kinda cute! I wanna pinch those little bunny cheeks right off and dip 'em!

OK, not cute at all! Hug? No way!

LOL, a Princess Leia Hairdo Bunny Carrot Jockey on Wheels!

wv: moialli: Luke trying to say "Mos Eisley" with a piece of cake in his mouth.

BADKarma! said...

...Perhaps we could build a large CCC badger...

WV: lesse - Lesse how many ways these people can come up with to wreckorate Easter.

Susanlee said...

I kinda like the disemboweled bunny dip bowl. Yeah...I'm a freak.

Anonymous said...

Cocaine Bunny. F-ing genius! So funny!

Nora

Allie said...

Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
And thy foe is thy bakers, that insist on decorating thus, and yet provide us with everlasting mirth

Amanda Mac said...

I am 99% certain that the dip bunny came from a Taste of Home magazine a few years ago. The teeth are almond slivers.

I actually think it's kinda cute. I'd eat it. The others - eh, not so much.

Leia Firewalker said...

Uh, that last one looks like Princess Leia's monkey's head on top of a Sandcrawler from Star Wars. XD

-Leia <3

belphebe said...

I have a party to go to this weekend and was just thinking about taking veggies and dip as my food offering for the party. Now I want that bunny "bread bowl"! It would be fantastic.

Hmmm, I wonder if I can find a bread rabbit before my party?

Adorably Dead said...

Cocaine bunny FTW!

Craig said...

#1 Bread?! Looks like a bag of towels. I hope it isn't deep fried.

#2 Now we're havin' fun, BABY! ('cause white lines...blow away...)

#3 Ok, -10 for dip placement, but otherwise...? I'd eat it.

#4 Fancy writing on heart-shaped cookie, check. Place cookie upside-down on bunny cake, morphing same into... if it had sneakers, I could almost make a case for the red, hairy monster from Bugs Bunny (I'm sure at least 100 people know both the name of the monster and the name of the cartoon in question).

#5 The original concept for this carrot cake (ahem) must have made some kind of sense. They should have replaced the sheep / bunny with a baby, though.

Emily Rohrer said...

YES, the bunny dip bread is from Taste of Home. I still have that clipping in my recipe binder, and I make the bunny bread every year -- without the gaping dip wound though. One year I gave it a jelly bean belly button. A jellybellybutton?

Kimberly Chapman said...

That second last one looks like entrails. I just can't tell entrails from what.

But there's probably a uterus in there too. It's like a game: Spot The Uterus. No wait now that sounds like a horrible idea for a children's book...

Anonymous said...

These bunnies remind me of other bunnies...

http://www.amazon.com/Book-Bunny-Suicides-Andy-Riley/dp/0452285186/ref=pd_sim_b_1#_

:)

min said...

Color me odd, but I think the first three rawk! I'd buy 'em.

That said, the last two terrify me to my very soul.

msyendor said...

Wow. What did they do to make a loaf of bread look like play doh?

Hm, bunny bread dip. And kiddies, this is what happened to Peter Rabbit when we caught him and and his gang of thieves stealing again from the community P-Patch.

Ashley said...

I actually think the cocaine bunny is kind of adorable.

Barbara said...

Those are just terrifying. That last one looks like its been nibbling on brains since that looks like blood dribbling down onto his chin. I'd scream and run away from those things before I'd ever consider eating one.

tiny purple elephant said...

Carrot on wheels!!! And I have never seen coloured bread in my life! How different.

Lissy said...

The first one (the rainbow bread) is actually pretty good... I used to purchase it when I could find it... Though that is the first time I've seen it like that. Used to be a swirl pattern through each slice. Was kinda cool and made for a fun lunch for the kids...

Nadia said...

cocaine bunny?

more like Yeaster Bunny!

am i right? **nods**

Jennifer G. said...

Yes, the bread bunny with dip is from Taste of Home. I just happened to see it on the website yesterday when looking for Easter recipes lol. Here is a link to it:
http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Easter-Bunny-Bread

Anonymous said...

Trojan rabbit? It looks like a lamb with white Micky ears!

Jane

Kathryn said...

Misread hugs as slugs on the alien bunny.

Kathryn said...

Misread hugs as slugs on the alien bunny.

lisagems said...

That 4th one actually looks like some kind of demented sock monkey.

(Ah, rainbow challah, how I DON'T miss having to make you.)

SoupAddict said...

For $25 that rabbit bread better be covered in cocaine....

Anonymous said...

The sad thing is that bunny bread with the veggies and dip is actually pretty cute :)

April said...

Ok, the fantasy bread bunny would be fine if A) they had the eyebrows positioned so he didn't look like a murderous fiend, and B) he didn't look like a drug runner. The rest of the shape looked well done. Though I'm why someone would WANT bread in that shape is a totally different discussion. :P

Blackbird said...

@Craig:

The lovable Chuck Taylor-wearing red monster from Bugs Bunny is Gossamer.

The Commune said...

@ Craig: The red haired monster with the hi-top sneakers is Gossamer. I don't know the name of the cartoon, but it is my favorite.

Badcookie said...

I seriously almost choked on my sandwich over cocain bunny. And I'm home alone too...

3 Python references is ok, but 3 is the number you should post, and the number of postings shall be 3. And 5 is right out.

FM said...

The last one is a raccoon who has commandeered the Carrotmobile and is driving around the country spreading his message on the importance of washing your hands. Or something. Certainly nothing to do with Easter.

Kristen C. said...

I think the bread bunny with the dip in its belly is a cute idea. :)

Lori said...

alien face hugger looks like a monkey, for cryin' out loud! and I must be hungry because that bread bunny with veggie dip tummy looks pretty yummy... ;P

Jenn said...

OMG so awesome! I love the cocaine bunny rabbit.

Elizabeth said...

I thought the first photo was of a bag of yarn or dyed wool before I read the caption. I thought "What is non-food doing on a food blog?"

SaraCVT said...

@Craig @The Commune

Gossamer appeared in two cartoons as an unnamed monster--"Hare-Raising Hare" and "Water, Water, Every Hare". He then appeared in "Duck Dodgers In The 24 1/2 Century" where he was finally named.

Anne said...

I can't figure out the fourth picture, even after staring at it for 5 minutes. Are those eyes? Ears? This is madness!!!

DJ Twisted Sister said...

Cocaine bunny has been places, seen stuff...he's the man! And when you're all done with your cocaine fever dream...you'll be hungry like a lion chasing a pink bunny!

Lynne said...

Watch out for little plastic babies while eating that rainbow bread -- I think it may be leftover from Mardi Gras!

Marcia said...

Hey, I like rainbow bread! When I was a kid, that was one of the best ways for my parents to get me to eat my toast in the morning. Don't know why they're pushing it for easter though...

ninja dude 11 said...

maybe the "cocaine bunny" is actually a bunny thats just walked through a blizzard. NOT! and neon colored bread who thought that was a good idea

Loo-E Loo-I said...

LOL Craig - are you TRYING to start an Epcot????? :-D

wv: gulike: of goo-ish consistancy
or
Gulike any of these wrecky treats?

Reddunappy said...

Love the bunny bread bowl, at least it looks like a rabbit!!! LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

Cocaine Bunny...that was hilarious.

~SMD~ said...

What in the heck were some of those things, LOL~! The bread bunny would not be so bad if they didn't make that chicken salad look like belly button lint, and I must say I kind of like the rainbow bread.

Halesbales said...

And the number of the counting shall be three!

I do have to admit that I would buy the bread bunny belly dip and veggie tray. The kiddos would LOVE it!

Kickboxing Los Angeles said...

With the second to last one, I can't even begin how to describe it. What is it? A spider, rabbit, lamb? Au vey!

Anonymous said...

These were hilarious!
Okay, so I'm only posting because of this:
WV: crockl: If someone told these people that any of this stuff was appropriate, that was a crockl!

Seriously, that one sort of wrote itself!

Displaced said...

And to think, my store carries that bread all year long!

SquishyCuteStuff said...

I will say that the rainbow bread isn't new... I remember my mom buying some of that for us probably 12 years ago or more. It didn't TASTE different but....it made for an odd sammy.

Jay said...

Shaking my head and repeating 'No, no, no...' doesn't make this any easier to take. wv: Granit, I don't work in a bakery. D:

Anonymous said...

that last cake made me shudder-"hi honey, I'm home from the bakery-by the way, did you order a disembodied lamb head on a carrot?"
-Graceannadanna

Anonymous said...

Tinkfan sez....I was never really against CCCs ~~ But the more you post them, the more I've learned to despise them :)

Ellen said...

>>Kimberly Chapman said...
It's like a game: Spot The Uterus. No wait now that sounds like a horrible idea for a children's book...<<

Where's Womb-do?

Or perhaps:

Where's Uterine Wall-do?

Liz said...

Is it me or does that first one look a little bit king cake-ish?

*Ducks and covers*

Ady said...

Aliens... One of my top favourite movies of all time. These bring tears of joy(?) to my eyes :D

Jeni said...

I think the rainbow bread was supposed to be for 4/20.

Renee' said...

I like the bread bunny!

Jones the cat said...

The third one is to commemorate that poor bunny that died at the dinner table in Alien. Poor little guy. =(

wv: hadmi- I have hadmi fill of awful bread cake bunny things today!

Anonymous said...

I <3 Gossamer but I don't see him there (thank goodness!).

Yeah, I think Craig was trying to mastermind an Epcot, too. Devious creature- you have been thwarted- they have to spontaneously erupt, donchaknow?

-Barbara Anne

Anonymous said...

"Hugs Bunny" looks like an albino chimp in a Lamb Chop suit swallowing a gift box of slugs whole.

wv: You've got to rullu eyes at these wrecks.

Littlefoot

Arlene said...

Lmao at the Trojan rabbit that looks like a cross between a sheep and a carrot. I could be wrong though. I am very frightened at the multicolored loaf of bread. Who would eat it? Man I can't wait for Sunday so the nightmares stop lol.

Craig said...

Mwahahaha.

Actually, it wasn't intentional, but I can see how the parenthetical clause might have been interpreted as a thrown gauntlet.

Thanks to all Gossamer fans -- 'Hare-Raising Hare' is my default Gossamer cartoon, but I couldn't come up with the title.

Devious? Moi?

Ytsemaddy said...

I'm even more terrified that the store tag on the Trojan Lamb / Sphinx Model looks like it says "cupcake pullapants".

Evelyn said...

Oh, Jen - I really think the Paschal Lamb being speared by the angel banner is the scariest of ALL!

Forgive me, but all I can say is GOOD LORD!!!

;-)

Lothruin said...

Loaves of bread are, indeed, a time-honored Easter classic. I've eaten traditional German bunny-shaped rolls on Easter since my early childhood. And also rainbow braided bread. Granted, in both cases they were much better than the breads pictured...

Jamie said...

Funny cake-related dumb customer quote.
http://notalwaysright.com/congra-duh-lations/11237

Sanjoy said...

and not a Trojan lamb (or even Trojan mouse)?

DocDanika said...

First - these "Easter" cakes are funny and YOU are hysterical.

Second - Happy Earth Day! In my reading your site over the past 4hrs, I came across the FAQs (which were handy for solving my own confusion of what CCC stood for*) and got caught up on the EPCOT scenario. OMG, too funny. Quite ironic that I found all that today, Earth Day. Or Irthday as John would say (very clever, John - I loved it!).
Actually, as a few bloggers put it - it was terribly frustrating to read the same stupidity over and over**. And I only read 10 or 20! I can't fathom how you can tolerate reading 50 billion (give or take 50 billion) of these potentially every day.

Jen - take heart in knowing that you are brilliant; you can't expect the masses to be able to keep up with your wit, knowledge, innuendos and humor (which, being brilliant, you already know!). But you bring great amusement to those of us who DO get it (and clearly also amusing to the less cerebrally endowed otherwise you wouldn't have their visits and idiotic posts).
I remember first finding your website a couple years ago and the first thing I noticed was your wit and punny writing (it was a blog with fish jokes - just for the halibut), the second thing I noticed was your impeccable spelling, grammar and punctuation. Within minutes, I was laughing so hard that I was crying and snotting (yes, I make up words. after all, languange is morphic). In fact, I was "studying" in the library - merely taking a quick break, of course - and they had to kick me out because I couldn't control my guffawing, snorting and chortling and was disturbing people who were REALLY studying.

Anyway, I wish you and John a Happy Earth Day Irthday. And I wish the bloggers a Happy EPCOT day. I do believe Meagan from 2010 owes you an Earth Day cake.... I expect pictures come Monday!

NOTES TO FELLOW BLOGGERS:
*Note how I did a bit of research to solve the dilemma myself before hounding busy Jen. Self-sufficiency.
**You don't have to read ALL the other comments - just skim the most recent 10 or so. If they're ALL saying the same thing you want to say - DON'T bother! Even if what you ALL say is correct and true, you look stupid saying it for the 2,000th time.

Peace out, all. Happy cake baking, decorating, eating, photographing, and laughing-at to you all.

-DocDanika

Sugary Flower said...

Okay, the rabbits are terrible (although hilarious at the same time - Alien Bunny is still cracking me up). But seriously, WHERE can I buy some of the SUPER-AWESOME rainbow bread???? Want!!

Anonymous said...

Is the rainbow loaf of bread maybe Paska bread?
Paska bread is an old traditional sweet bread eaten at easter... not usually rainbow coloured though.

Kathie said...

OMG cocaine bunny!! LMAO u rock Jen! That disaster in baking costs $25.00?? Hhahahahaha

Anonymous said...

OK.. its probably wrong, but I think the bunny with dip in his belly is kinda cute!!
Happy Easter!!

Mindsend said...

Ah, Rainbow bread -- that's a fun bit of nostalgia from the early ninties. It STILL shows up regularly. The kind I used to get had GREEN CRUSTS. Honest to goodness. I used to love making people go "EEEEEEEEW" when I was in kindergarten by thinking I had moldy bread, and then I'd show them the rainbow and suddenly everyone wanted my sandwich.

One of these days, I need to special order it on a decent Italian bread rather then a wonder-esk bread and eat it again just for the sake of the joy of doing so.