Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Shamrocks? How About ShamPOOS?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

AHAHAHAHAAA!!

Ew.


Those almost make me long for the days of anthropomorphized, lumpy-armed clover characters.

Almost.


Ok, I think it's time we addressed the elephant in the room, guys.

Otherwise he'll just keep trampling on all the shamrocks.


Besides, maybe he'll remember what one looks like.

Nooo...

Not quite...

Egads! A pox upon thine cake!


Hey, you know what it is? I think I figured it out: the bakers just need a base of reference! A small photo, perhaps, or some shamrock-shaped things, perhaps made out of plastic...

Oh.

Never mind.


Psst.
Feelin' "lucky," punk?

'Cuz with fronds like those, you've definitely got anemones.



Thanks to Trina D., Michele T., Cara H., Alena C., Sara, Coreena N., Nell B., Robin, and also the elephant in the room, who, when confronted with today's wrecks, offered this insightful commentary:


We hear ya, dude.
The Boob Nazi said...

That first one is so disgusting. Ugh! I'm glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

KandaBer said...

Here's shampoo for our real friends, and real poo for our sham friends

Deirdre said...

I was giggling at the cakes and commentary, but that elephant made me lose it. Could we please ask him to go trample the CCCs (ptooie!)?

Monica said...

Rule one of piping (which, oddly enough, they do NOT cover in Wilton classes): NEVER pipe greenish-brown icing.

Anonymous said...

I do believe I'd take a CCC (ptooie) over that nasty mess in the first one.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I always read the other commenters saying they spewed coffee across their keyboards, but I never actually did this myself until I read the "fronds" and "anemones" line today!! Kudos, CW, you have outdone yourself.

Julie said...

That poor green peacock, with those ugly brown pock mocks on it's tail feathers!

And the first one definitely is the same stuff I scoop out of the cat box. No question.

Jessica said...

wv: sedican

Baker: What's your problem? I never sedIcan draw a shamrock.

Ms. Blasé said...

Wouldn't all of these malformed shamrocks make a person UNlucky?

Just sayin.'

Karen %) said...

I, too, lost it at "fronds" and "anemones." And the elephant was just too adorably funny. My morning has been made!

ellie said...

Is it just me, or do some of those shamrocks look like elephants? Especially the first big one...

elissa said...

The first one reminds me of what I just found in my son's diaper. Same color and everything.

WV: perts. Hey, Jen and John, comparisons to green baby poo is just one of the perts of your job.

Ana V. said...

BAHAHAHA! oh poopy St. Patrick's Day cake, why are you so poopy? Who cares, as long as I get my morning laugh fix <3 :)

Anonymous said...

Sham...WOW

Normie

WV - Banin "After seeing these wrecks we should be banin shamrocks on cakes."

Flartus said...

When I saw the title to this post, I thought "NOOoooo!"

But I clicked anyway. :)

(And I think that poxed one is actually the very rare bio-botanical hybrid known as the Shamurkey.)

BADKarma! said...

Tiny baby elephant: Adorable.

Sham-Poo cupcakes: Not so much...

Oh, and I think you switched two pictures, there in the middle... (I'm pretty sure the Sham-peacock was supposed to go with the commentary on the picture below it).

Anonymous said...

Blech to the first one. To the rest-WTF! O_o

Maureen said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
"with fronds like those you've definately got anemones" BRAVO!! BRAVO!!
(Couldn't you find any deep fried shamrock cakes? What a shame)

Anonymous said...

Is Cake #6 made from a turkey template?

Angie said...

That first one looks a lot like the gifts my dog left in the living room the other night, when he wasn't feeling so well & nobody was awake to let him go outside....

TheCommune said...

Long time viewer, first time poster...

I have to say this is the first time a cake on here has made my stomach roll. The first one with the mossy/moldy sham-poos is pretty gnarly.

john said...

Gumby! I used to love that show when I was a kid.
Rainbows! with garnish.
The Blob! or a misshapen cactus.
Stingray!
Peacock!
Dragonfly!
um...I think I just failed the Rorshach test.

Amy's Cooking Adventures said...

hahaha "A pox upon thine cake"! I had to try really hard not to laugh loudly & wake my sleeping child! Great post!

jo said...

LOL ShamPOO!! that green is way off...and the consistency is icky...like someone who ate too much green icing....

#5 looks like an elephant
#6 looks like a shamcock? (shamrock/peacock hybrid)
#7 is a wonky umbrella.

wv: ensmint. when you taste said green icing and realize the flavor--"ensmint!"

Sandra said...

Poor little Leprechaun must have one heckuva bad flu to produce those awe-inspiring poo-piles. But i must thank you...Nothing better than a poo-cake to help me stick with the diet ... appetite officially G-O-N-E!

Anonymous said...

Note to self: no more reading CW before breakfast. Really.

(and kudos for the R&J reference...)

-michelej

MC said...

So... nobody's up in arms to angrily defend THIS beautiful manifestation of a beloved culture?

...anybody?

(crickets)

:P

Happy non-Epcot day to you all.

LCT said...

Ugh, I just about lost my breakfast looking at the first one & I haven't even eaten yet!

The Black Dog said...

The third cake from the bottom looks like it started out as a turkey cake and then just got covered with green frosting to make it look like a clover.

Gary said...

"'Cuz with fronds like those, you've definitely got anemones."

I just have to say this is the finest pun I have seen in a long time. You got a mastery of botany, zoology, and a popular saying all into just nine words. Wow!

LeftWingLock said...

Now, while St. Patrick's Day has a reputation as a drinking holiday, I would like to point out the following:

1) Bakers should not drink before decorating the cakes as wonky shamrocks result.

2) Customers should drink before picking up the cakes so they won't notice the wonky shamrocks.

3) There is not enough alcohol on the planet to make anyone want to eat that first...um...thing.

Anonymous said...

What's up with the green turkey?
My Mom has shamrocks growing in her garden. They look nothing like these cakes- or the green plastic things either for that matter.

WV: rentede: these cake wreckerators just rentede some cake decorating videos so they will do better next time.

caitlin said...

nice owl city reference. love it!

Auntie J said...

We hereby offer you ShamPoo, because we don't have any real poo....

WV: splartiv. Seems like an appropriate new word (adj.) to describe that first wreck.

Anonymous said...

I'll take anthropomorphized anything over cakes like the first one. It's like when, as children, we made mud pies out by the barn, and... well, you know how that turned out.

Anonymous said...

Why use shampoo when you obviously have so much of the real thing?



wv: flizzyma-- I don't know what to do with that, but just thought I'd share.

Stephanie said...

ShamPOO indeed. *shudders* o_O

Oh, and bonus points for the Finding Nemo reference. :D

min said...

You know what, say what you will, but I think the sham-poos are actually the closest ones to shamrock shapes. How sad is that??

WV: chedojo. Where left-wing revolutionaries go to work out.

Anonymous said...

Finding Nemo! That was a Finding Nemo reference, right? Cuz if it wasn't... then this is really embarrassing. *looks around innocently* *runs away*

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's logically hypothetical to assume one could pipe 3 simple loop shapes when they've got a plastic template right in front of them, but I guess we can just cut them some slack and say, nice try, guys! "Close enough!" (in quotation marks! Because "quotes" make things more "funner"!!!! Ever!!! Always!!! Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself here).

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but the "anthropomorphized, lumpy-armed clover character" looks like male parts holding a dog bone!

Ben said...

Haha, the second picture down is from Meijer...one of the corporate-designated CCC's for St. Patty's Day. This is NOT what it's supposed to look like!

Valenta said...

My fave is the second to last, with the tiny plastic references all around the edge as well as right on the "clover"...AWESOME!

And, Jen, you gotta design a CW keyboard protector...I think a lot of your readers need one!

Cheers!

lisadh said...

Lovely post today!

I say any piping with the round tip should be off-limits. No one seems to be able to use it right, no matter what color the frosting is. Ugh!

Loo-E Loo-I said...

The first one makes me want to go to the top of Mount Wanna-hock-a-loogie. Blecht!

The rest made me think of Gumby, peacocks, and that people just don't have a clue.

Awwwwwwww cute widdle baby elephant! :-)

wv: bodeba: Barry Manilow singing with a cold...At the bodeba, bodeba banana, the hoddest spot nord of Habana

Anonymous said...

This was a funny post, as usual, but Flartus' comment about the Shamurkey made me LOL for real!

wv: gesti - I gesti baker has never seen a real shamrock before!

Jenn said...

@MC: I was wondering the same thing. ;)

Stacy and Ellie said...

LOL gotta love when they include "unnecessary quotation marks". The one looked more like a peacock...

Ellen said...

Some of these sham rocks look better than those cakes:

http://fakerock.com/

KatiMomKat said...

Those cupcakes...
The color...disgusting! The texture...blech. The idea of eating them...eeeeeeewwwwww!

Letitia said...

the first one looks like what I shovel at the barn...green lumps. Eww. Just...eeew.

Anonymous said...

WV: smeire

I wish the bakers didn't smeire the frosting after seeing how cute the baby elephant is.

jaibhakti said...

I was feeling depressed earlier so I logged on to Cake Wrecks and was pleasantly uplifted by the "What We Have Here is Failure to Communicate" post--best cakes EVER.

Unfortunately, I just saw your latest post and must admit...I feel depressed again. And sick to my tummy. I think I'll be having flashbacks of the first photo for a LONG time...it's obvious the Gerber Baby had the flu and pooped all over those cupcakes...

:p

LOL :)

wv "forking" I ain't forking eating ANY of the baby poops in that first photo!

pikkewyntjie said...

The first one answers the question of what leprechauns do in the woods.

I'm not so sure "Lucky" is a shamrock. He looks a bit like the character from Hemp Tycoon to me. More like "Lucky that when the cops raided your place, they didn't find your crop."

Loved the Finding Nemo reference!

mimi said...

There's a peacock in the sham shamrocks.

msyendor said...

@ MC & Jenn

Well, might be able to kick up some of these shampoos by inferring that "Irish Spring" is the only worthwhile product to come off the Aisles.

I once found the end of the rainbow.
And saints above, there it did sit.
A huge pot of gold from the fairies.
Then I blinked and it turned into
...

Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Anonymous said...

The one strongly resembles a Peacock.

DUI Lawyer Santa Monica said...

The first picture is nauseating. Do decorators not have a picture or know what a clover looks like? I could understand if it was an intricate design of a flower, like a rose, but it's a clover. It's on the Lucky Charms box! Clovers and Pine Trees don't have an excuse to look bad.

Maureen said...

Someone needs to start a no'poo revolution for wreckarators! It seriously needs to stop.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_poo

Little Luxuries said...

That first cake makes me nostalgic for microbiology class. Oh, the mold cultures we grew and nurtured that semester!

And excuse you, but that sixth cake depicts the rare and endangered brown-spotted peacock clover, found only in the dark recesses of the wreckiest of bakeries. Have some respect.

In conclusion, cute baby elephant is really, really, really, really cute.

Micalah said...

Really almost threw up on the first cake- the FIRST CAKE!

rc helicopter said...

Shampo.. Now thats some funny stuff..

8424c696-390c-11e0-9801-000bcdcb8a73 said...

Oh, slap your self for the anemones joke! Loved it. Love the elephant, too!

Jenna said...

"With fronds like these..." LOL My son is delighted that you've quoted his favorite band, Owl City! Kudos!

Caitlyn said...

Haha, some of these are pretty gross! Can you imagine the color your tongue would turn after one bite?
Oh and kudos on the R&J and the Owl City references! I greatly appreciated them!

Anonymous said...

#1 – those are mutant, um, “swimmers” from Futurama

#4- W.T.F. really, if you’re not even going to try why waste the sparklie stuff sprinkled across it??

#6- looks exactly like the NBC Peacock with it’s head in the sand…guess that makes this an Ostrich?

#7- I thought it was wearing a bow tie until I realized THAT was the plastic flotsam.

#8- at least it’s a happy anemone.

-Barbara Anne

Helix said...

I StumbledUpon this website some time ago and it completely slipped my mind until I found it again today, and I just have to say: OMFG I didn't realize a CAKE, of all things, could be so funny. Those shamrocks were all kinds of special. Love it! Thanks for the lolz

Anonymous said...

Gross!! Dare I ask why these wreckerators seem to be obsessed with turning all holiday cakes into poo catastrophes? Lol funny but also very very scary.

Joel Braskey said...

Haha so hilarious. thanks.

Craig said...

#1 Saints preserve us. Do these wreckerators not look at what they've done? I know some colors change radically depending on the lighting; these must have been made during a power outage. Or a brain outage...

#2 A still from 'The Gumby Workout Video'. Not to be confused with 'The Mr. Gumby Workout Video' which involves smashing bricks together and stuffing flowers upside-down into vases.

#3 What did giant chocolate chip cookies ever do to deserve the treatment they receive?

#4 looks like a model of a putting green. Sure, it's buttercream (or says so, anyway), but I can't get past the color. Or the fact of it being a CCC (patooie!).

#5 The thumbprint really makes this one -- without that, it would be so ordinary.

#6 Are people really trying to pass strange hybrid succulents off as shamrocks? I mean, really!

#7 Ah, an entry from the Irish Southwest: The endangered 'shamrock cactus'. Also known as a 'Gerber Cactus', it is delicious when deep-fried.

#8 "Lucky" on a cake is not a good sign, especially when paired with...whatever that thing is below. That 'fronds and anemones' remark is probably the best argument against stronger pun control laws yet to be put forth.

#9 Cue Henry Mancini. I am just old enough to remember when 'The Baby Elephant Walk' was popular. Oy.

missellabella said...

Is that Mr Shuffles at the end??

Wolverine Girl said...

Definitely more sham than rock :D

WV: terse (yep really) - I know my comment was rather terse, but that was all I needed to say.

Kicking Back On Sundays said...

Om my god, I almost risked peeing my pants looking at this entry. Well done!

Alyssa said...

Have I told you lately that I love you guys? You never fail to brighten my day/make me snort with laughter so that my coworkers think i'm even crazier than they knew. All in all, its a win/win thing.

Jen said...

"fronds" "anemones"
Are you an Owl City fan, Jen?
(If not, check out The Bird and the Worm by them. )=0)

angi said...

You forgot St Urho's Day!!!! The mass Finn/American Day that is held on March 16th each year. The Finns wear purple in honor of St Urho!!! Maybe next year??

Kay-Kay said...

Ewwwww! Cat poop cupcakes! Thanks Jen I was longing for a cupcake, ummmm I may never eat cupcakes again! Blech!!!!p.s. My diet thanks you!!!OMG! I just puked a little,gag!!!

Chelsie said...

Ok the elephant baby is now my backdrop on my computer..totally made me squee!!

Alexa said...

loved the owl city reference!

Anonymous said...

OMG OWL CITY COMMENT!

'with fronds like these, well, who needs anemones?'

DADADADADADA