Thursday, March 10, 2011

Say What?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

If the kids ask, April just got a new bottle of shampoo.



*flap flap flap*



Take note, everyone: "Yoth!" is the new 40.

Be sure to adjust your birthday cards accordingly.



Whoah. Not only did they screw up the "screwed up" inscription, it's a cupcake cake. [patooey!] Now, CCC defenders, I want you to look at all that icing smeared under and around the individual cupcakes, and then I want you to find a real cake, and I want you to apologize to it. Do it! Do it now!!


Ahem.


Hey, you know how some people's "i"s look like "7"s, and their "g"s look like "6"s?

No?

Well, now you do.


A big thanks to Wreckporters J7ll W., Paulette M., Dan7elle S., Barbara M., & Ashle76h.
Anonymous said...

the last cake looks like it might also be a "congradulations" cake-awesome!

ana lisette said...

Finally! A picture revealing the truth about CCCs! A smeary, overly sugary, frostingy, filled truth. Not only do they look ridiculous, they're totally impractical to serve.

pikkewyntjie said...

I am a woman in my mid-40s and "flappy" birthday is starting to become completely appropriate! I am starting to think that flying squirrels are just regular female squirrels that have reached middle age! :D

If I had a daughter, I would name her Ashle76H, but only if she was born on the sacred holiday of Yoth.

(Yay, comments are back! Now, everyone behave themselves, Mkay?)

Amy said...

They "stewed" up? What kind of stew? Beef stew? Because, in my humble opinion, pie is a better dessert to accompany stew than a CCC [patooey!].

Stella said...

Poor Katie, I hope she isn't too flappy on her big day.

pikkewyntjie said...

Yoth is the new Festivus!

Tim said...

Maybe "Ashle76h" is her screen name - you know, Ashle76h@aol.com?

Fluffy Cow said...

Flappy....
*shaking head*

Jeanette said...

You make it sound like all that icing on a CCC is a bad thing. It's icing! Even if it looks dumb, I'd still eat it!

Christian Johnson said...

Soooo, what happened to yesterday's comments?

jo said...

Maybe April looks great in a tight T-Shirt and she's about to go wash cars for a fundraiser. And some wise guy sent her this. Either that, or someone wants to see some "April Showers" (but who gets the cake?)

"Flappy Birthday"! LOL Is Katie a duck? see, kids, this is why penmanship counts!

Just ask Melinda. who is celebrating her Yoth. maybe it's not 40th, maybe it's her "youth" she's celebrating. in which case, spelling counts. meanwhile, why did someone sprinkle herbs on her cake??? (never mind the curling ribbon and cheez whiz letters). What happened, did they decide the green letters looked awful so they went over it in orange? duh.

"We stewed up" --baffling.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand Ashle' cake AT ALL. 76H? 76th? Now I have "76 trombones" in my head. meanwhile, who is 76 years old and named Ashley? that wasn't that common a name for decades! "Beverly" I'd believe

M Scott Howard said...

Yoth is a red-lit cavern beneath K'n-yan. It was once inhabited by the Serpent Men who fled here to escape the destruction of Valusia. In Yoth they built great cities, of which only ruins remain. Explorers from K'n-yan visited Yoth frequently to learn more of the serpent people's scientific lore.

Happy Yoth!

charlywalker said...

Looks like the King has a Yeast infection...

Love your post!

spread the humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com

Colleen said...

Yeah. That's why, as a grocery store cake decorator, I don't put the frosting under the cupcakes to secure them to the board like it says to do in the book. And I think it's gross to pick up a cupcake and have both the top and the bottom be all sticky.

LeftWingLock said...

I admit it took me awhile to get the Ashle76H one. It's either too early or I'm still hung over from all the Hurricanes consumed over the past couple of days.

All things celebrated with cake must now have Flappy as part of the inscription. Flappy New Year! Flappy St Patrick's Day! Conradultions on Your Flappy Yoth! The possibilities are endless!

BADKarma! said...

I for one, will be celebrating MY "Yoth" for the fourth time, come this June...


WV - reopari: I'm not sure what's worse: These cakes, or the lame attempts to reopari them.

john (the hubby of Jen) said...

Christian Johnson,

We didn't want to continue the controversy. Hope you liked the post.

john

Anonymous said...

HUH?! D: W..T...F O_o

Anonymous said...

I found the Ashle76h really funny- especially since my niece's middle name is Ashleigh!
So awesome!

WV: tenesisc: A book on the origin of tennis?
Decorating all of these cakes made the wreckerator tenesisc?

Yeah, that's all I've got.

Auntie Meme said...

Flappy birthday, indeed. (And I didn't know there were instructions for assembling CCCs, Colleen. I just assumed you got a photo and had to wing it. Good to know.)

wv: hemiski
I needed the hemiski maneuver after I choked on the yoth.

Melinda said...

I have to laugh at seeing my name on one of the cakes.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes, a traditional Yoth cake. Complete with organic carrot-flavored icing and freshly-chopped parsley garnish. This is the standard by which all Yoth cakes should be measured.

Susanna King said...

Maybe Yoth is the holiday celebrated by followers of Yog-Sothoth. And if it's not, it should be.

On Yoth, we play tuneless melodies on ancient pipes and eat formless cakes in nameless colors.

Anonymous said...

Stay in school kids!

I think that the only way to encourage someone to enjoy their Yoth is to wish them a Yoppy Birthday, but I haven't fully researched the history of celebrating Yoth. Forgive me.

The fact that there are instructions for making a "proper" CCC (patooey!) is disturbing. Mostly because that means that not only are they considered an acceptable form of cakery, but a suggested form. (I think this deserves a Kermit flail!) WHat has this world come to?!?

Becky

Anonymous said...

i WANTED to leave a comment yesterday soooooooooooo badly but I noticed it was down...sooo here goes that kings cake was va-jazzled...

Sandy C also in SoFla said...

I love the comentary on the CCC!

I am a little confused about Ashley's cake. why is there a bundle of fish hooks on it? Is she an angler? I is fish her fav food? Does she fish for compliments? Or something else, which is why her online name/id is being used on her cake?

Just wondering...

And a little disapointed that I can't see the comments for yesterday. I love it and went back last night to get an update and saw it removed.

Darn to heck the demons of stupidity and those that don't have a sense of humor and take things to seriosly.

Kimberly said...

You know, ever since I've been reading this blog I've been trying to come up with a not-sucky, actually cool design for a CCC.

I have, as yet, failed. The closest I can think of would be something huge where each cupcake is a pixel in a grand bitmap, but really, that's not a true CCC with a slathering of icing on top.

But if I ever think of something, I'll let you know and judge me accordingly.

Ellen said...

Flappy Yoth to one and all! Let's Papty Hapty!

Ashle76H reminds me of Tom Lehrer's line:

>>I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know whose name was Henry, only to give you an idea of what a individualist he was, he spelled it H-E-N-3-R-Y -- the three was silent, you see.<<

Patty said...

THANK YOU!
You always make me laugh! Oh my - too much fun to click on your link! Please don't ever stop! Love it!!!! (c:}

Ellen said...

I just noticed the names of the Wreckporters, and got another giggle.

I guess I stewed up by not seeing that before.

Annmaree said...

For a minute I thought it said FAP FAP FAP, not fLap....

... ahem.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

My, my, my what a busy week you've had in the comments section! Hopefully it has finally blown over! Darn, and I had a good one too regarding those "beads" that were included... ]:D

Hey, a new way to be humiliated by the wait staff at a restaurant. It combines 'happy birthday' and the chicken dance...
Flappy Birthday tooooooo youuuuuu
*flap*flap*flap*flap*

LOL Yoth? Next year I'll be YY.

At first I thought it dropped on the floor...further demonstrating the messiness that is a CCC (*snort*hawk-patooie!). Then I noticed it didn't and saw the knife in the background. Why should you need a knife??? *facepalm*

Poor Ashle76H. 7 hope she 6ot some n7ce 67fts.

wv: rerace: Scooby-speak for erase. If Scooby made a mistake on a cake, wouldn't rerace it, he would just eat it and start all over.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the first cake is expressing the hope for an especially rainy spring after a particularly dry winter.

wv: lazileag
I would have walked faster but I have a lazileag.

Loo-E Loo-I said...

*snicker* I had to post again because of my word verification...

ingleto. Hello, my name is Ingleto Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!

Craig said...

#1 People are hoping for a rise in the water table next month. (See how I'm being non-controversial and stuff?)

#2 When someone wants a cake decorated at one minute to closing, they get a 'flappy' birthday.

#3 I know nothing about the holiday of Yoth, and certainly don't want to offend those who know everything about it, so I won't say anything.

#4 'We stewed up' left out the 'are'. As another commenter mentioned, this is graphic evidence of why we say 'patooie!' to CCCs.

#5 I also see 'congradulations', but who am I to say? Note the balloon with the squiggly tail in the upper right. Some people interpret that as a reproductive symbol. I have no idea what 'Ashle 76H' might mean. I refuse to speculate, because I might be wrong.

I hope I have restored a measure of civility to the proceedings. If you'll excuse me, I must sing to my cat.

Oldish Lady said...

Can anyone figure out what the first cake was supposed to say?

Nancy said...

This girl spells her name "Ashleigh." Replace the "i" and "g" with "7" and "6" and there you have it.
I went to college with a girl named Ashleigh and she insisted it be pronounced as two words: Ash Leigh. She would correct you if you got it wrong!
By the way, I enjoyed using lots of "apostrophes" in this "comment"!
Oh, look! Word verification! Now I get it! wv: tetshole (pronounced with a long E at the end... Tetshole is a messy CCC!

Erica said...

"flap, flap, flap" OMG that was hilarious. but darn you for making me spitting out my precious coffee.

Cherish said...

Want to wish everyone a Flappy day! And I know I stewed up :P

DJWildBill said...

I used to worked with a girl who failed a surprise urine test. The first cake made me remember April, her marijuana, and her daily alcohol consumption immediately after getting off work at one PM.

The cake would have suited her situation so well and would have served as a reminder to study harder for those inevitable pop tests.

And just WHY was my word verification "Coftin"???

wv: Those cigarettes have a new anti-smoking warning from the government: they come packed in a coftin.

Melissa said...

It could be that Ashleigh plays some type of sport and 76 is her number. I can see some parent trying to be cute and incorporating her number into her name.... Obviously it didn't work very well, but I can totally see it happening.

Classic Steve said...

Wow, #44 could be on the cover of your next book. That's a wreck squared. (A wrecktangle?)

Catstina said...

Awesome post!!

Anonymous said...

@ Oldish Lady:

"Get Well, April" ?

Elizabeth said...

Ok, for all the whiners out there:

Breaking News: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On and crashed into We All Have Problems before coming to a complete stop at Get the Heck Over It. Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1-800-wha-aaah with Dr. Snivel. Reporting LIVE from Quitchur Complaining!!

Jen, John, and #1, keep up the wonderful work! LOVE the smack-down post! :)

Elizabeth

Chocolatier said...

7'm sorry, but 7'm totally wr7t7n6 l7ke th7s from now on.

Postmenopaws said...

I read the "We stewed up" cake to mean "We stood up," and maybe they had the cake in their lap. /shrug

Ellen said...

I am also sad that there was not a place to leave comments on the last King Cake... I think it deserved some comments, the baker clearly worked hard on it, a real labia of love...

WV: theelie
The overly sensitive comments about the King Cakes were pretty theelie...

Rainee said...

I too am a grocery store cake decorator, tho I haven't always been and I hope to God I will not be forever. You CAN make pretty, non-icing-covered CCCs. I have proof if you want pictures. You really NEED a tiny dollop of something to secure those cupcakes or they are gonna slide off the board and ruin little Suzi's party... other than that it's not that HARD to smooth everything over and create something pretty. (Rainee)

jessica said...

This has absolutely nothing to do with this post but i have to say it anyway.

I was visiting a cooking message board, and someone asked about tried and ture recipes for CCCs. It took me reading several posts and a minute or two (much longer than it should have) for me to realize they were talking about chocolate chip cookies, not cupcake cakes!

Anonymous said...

When I first saw the last cake, I thought, "'Congratulations Ashley 76th.' What's wrong with that?" Then I read the caption.

Katie said...

I saw day 1 of K-ing-sanity posts; but didn't get to see days 2-3 til today and I thought it odd that there were no comments at all on yesterdays. Born and raised in Baton Rouge, and I have no problem whatsoever with any king cake posts this site has made!

Now, about today...

Are they claiming the decorator intended *those* to be read as Ashleigh? Or are they claiming that the order form writer didn't write clearly enough and the wreckerator was just following orders?

darlingbeatrice said...

There's a book on how to make the dreaded CCC: Cupcake Cakes by Melissa Barlow. I thought of CakeWrecks as soon as I spotted it at work!

Shawne said...

I dislike CCCs as much as the next girl, but as someone who eats cake for the sweet, sweet buttercream, I have to appreciate the slab o' frosting :)

wv: comyar- comyar and take another scoop of frosting, Shawne!

Michelle said...

Ashleigh is just a name with a whole bunch of extra letters thrown in (with no sound). They may as well be silent numbers. :)

Anonymous said...

So, I'm not going to lie, I am now an addict of this site.

Eve S. D'ropper said...

Yeah, what is the last one even supposed to say? ...LOL, flappy birthday.

~Eve S. D'ropper, of http://wordsfromthehallway.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

pikkewyntjie: FTW
"I am starting to think that flying squirrels are just regular female squirrels that have reached middle age!"
AWESOMENESS

Craig: did your cat like being sung to, do you think? Maybe it would like a bit of fish...

I confess I love icing far more than cake bit CCCs (patooie) are just butt ugly...tasty, but ugly.

-Barbara Anne

P.S. I think it was wise to disable comments yesterday. I couldn't think of a single one that didn't push the R into an X! o.O

Anonymous said...

Oldish Lady, the first cake was supposed to say "Get Well, April." Although April enjoyed this cake more than its original intention.

J7ll

Jes said...

It took me 10 minutes to decipher the Ashle76H cake... Uh... Wow...

KatiMomKat said...

Cake #1:For months the well diggers were coming up with nothing but *dry* wells. Farmer Tom was really coming down hard on them, and they knew they would have to do something — anything — to find water soon. So they secretly asked April, the Water Witch (dowser) to divine the underground water for them. Her mystical, magical powers worked and water was found. The crew was able to build a *wet* well for Farmer Tom. And thus April won her new nick-name, "Wet Well April", along with a secret contract with the well digging crew, who threw her a party...with cake!

Dowser video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D4oIiALpPY

Craig said...

@Barbara Anne: Froody! You really know where your towel is!

Have to agree on Wednesday's post, too -- some pictures require no follow-on commentary of any kind. Jen said everything that could be said without requiring age verification to read.

Plus it gave the trolls an opportunity to go back to editing Wikipedia entries, which made a nice break for the rest of us.

Leala said...

As a teacher, I want to confirm how horrible CCCs are. I am fully on your side, Jen. Parents! Please listen! If you insist on bringing sugar to share with all the kids that aren't YOUR kids, and walk away laughing evilly, then for the love of all that is good in this world, PLEASE don't bring in a CCC. Can you imagine eager kids standing around while you are pulling apart cupcakes covered in gobs of pink icing which is underneath and around and EVERYWHERE on the paper, hands, the table, the floor... :(

Arlene said...

I fear that flappy birthday cake. I don't want to be reminded that as I age other parts of me will start going to pot..lol.

Ashlee said...

This may be the first and only time I would intentionally recreate a Wreck: flappy birthday, indeed. Hahaha.

~Ashlee
http://theDragonsHoard.bigcartel.com

Hannah B said...

wv: wingl - Give me a piece of that cake now or I will wingl it out of you!

Julia said...

Thank you for clarifying what "YOth" was - I honestly would have spent all day frustrated. :) As always - thanks for the laughs!

Melissa said...

Oh sweet lord...that second cake killed me...

*flap flap flap*

(still giggling...probably gonna be giggling the rest of the day now)

Fiammetta said...

Flappy Birthday! Ahahahahaha!! (I nearly fell out of my chair.)

Is it sad that I knew right away that "Ashle76h" was supposed to be "Ashleigh"? I don't know if anyone speaks Leet anymore... I think all the 14-year-old online gamers use txtspeak now.

F74mm3tt4

Anonymous said...

Just... Wow. That CCC isn't just bad... I almost thought it was the aftermath of a cakesplosion. That thing just looks like a mess.

Laura said...

Oh my goodness! This post is HILARIOUS. Like extra hilarious! *flap flap flap*... I actually laughed out loud!

Anonymous said...

My favorite part of all of these is how terrible the handwriting is. Even if the "decorator" didn't mess up the words, the piping work is awful!